F3 New Orleans

Author: Rudy

  • Ab-solutely Ab-surd – from Goose

    With two days to fill, YHC was happy to kill the legs yesterday before focusing on the glorious death of the abs today. Interestingly, only Paradox and Yankee Joe showed up to have their core sploded, and though they didn’t actually know what was coming, they knew Tuesday Tuff wouldn’t leave them where it found them.

    We started with a warmup of the usuals minus cherry pickers, which caused YJ to experience his first brain glitch of the day. There would be many more, and though most of these glitches worked themselves out through his colon, they did cause him some havoc with counting before being released into the atmosphere.

    Moseyed to the bumper and stop sign and back before diving into the first ab routine I found on the Exicon: Bruce Lee. This consisted of 20 reps apiece of 6 different exercises with no breaks. We did the recommended three rounds total with a 30 second rest only between each full round. The exercises were: American Hammers, Leg Raises, LBC’s, Penguins, Crunchy Frogs, and 100’s. After all the core work we’ve been doing over the past few weeks, this one wasn’t as bad as I expected, though the crunchy frogs got old quick. We probably could’ve gone for a few more rounds, but there was more on the docket that YHC wanted to get to.

    Next was 11’s–stage front to sidewalk, Van Goghdas on one end and static hold wife pleasers on the other, carioca there, nur back. Van Goghdas are basically Abe Vigodas (Windmills), but done lying on your back–so spread eagle, bring one arm up and over, lifting upper body so as to reach down and touch the opposite toe; the other hand stays where it was on the ground. These were eventually less awkward than YHC thought they’d be, and the first five or so weren’t that hard, but they began to deliver pretty well after that. Static wife pleasers are wife pleasers with a three second hold at the top.
    We stayed together and did the wife pleasers in cadence so no one was tempted to rush them. It was good to have some camaraderie and solid mumblechatter during 11’s for once–that’s usually somewhat of a solo experience–though, toward the end it was nothing but panting and grunting. That last round was a doozie.

    The last routine was called “The Hands of Time”. The PAX hit their sixes in a circle (triangle?) with heads toward the center, hands under their rears in leg raise position, and legs up at 90 degrees (top of a leg raise). In ring of fire fashion, each would count off and lower their legs to 6 inch hold position until it came back around, and the count would continue with each then lifting the legs back up again, and then back down, and so on until the Q stops it.
    The glitching and subsequent colon activity really ramped up from both YJ and Paradox at this point, to point where not only was counting a problem, but laughter and toxic fumes made breathing a problem. The Hands of Time movements combined with deep fatigue, endless counting, and methane seemed to operate as a sort of time machine that brought us back to a time when we’d sleep over at each other’s houses and fart and laugh till we farted again. YJ even started quoting Adam Sandler albums (this actually happened).
    YHC knew the only solution was to just keep going, and going, and going in order to ride the time wave and push the body beyond its limits until nothing remained but the PAX’s desire to to fill every open Q slot for the next two years so nothing like this ever happens again.

    Eventually, we stopped and moved onto five minutes of Mary…to work the core. And, just to be sure that the motivation to fill the Q sheet really took root, we did 51 Freddys (2:1), 53 flutter kicks (2:1), and 25 dying cockroaches (2:1) before time ran out.

    Ashley and Rebecca, you’re welcome for the ripped abs you’ll observe developing on the abdomens of your respective men in the next day or two. Just don’t make them laugh or do anything that requires counting–a glitch at this point may result in the need to purchase new underwear.

    COT and Dox prayed us out. Be sure to sign up to Q!

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • Something About Mary – from Heisenberg

    Having worked out at Wolfpack on Friday with Gabby (still waiting on backblast) and Mothership with Rudy on Saturday, my arms and legs were a little sore. My core was not, so with the intent to make my core sore I devised an ab-centric workout. Arriving with 45 seconds to spare at the NOMA fountain I announced the theme to Tool, Vagabond and Catfish. Abdominal workouts and abdominal surgeries are in conflict, so Catfish went for a run.
    Everything was “in cadence”.

    Warm-up Imperial Walkers, Abe Vigoda’s, Grass Grabbers, (We were joined by Fracsac and Triple Shift each of whom were four minutes late) Arm Circles, on our faces for W’s, Y’s and T’s. To the top of the NOMA steps for a Deep Sea Diver with shoulder taps

    Crunch O Rama
    1. LBC
    2. Raised Leg – Crunch
    3. Freddy Mercury
    4. Right Side Crunch
    5. Left Side Crunch
    6. Reverse Crunch

    Lap around NOMA
    Plank O Rama
    1. Front Plank
    2. Nolan Ryan
    3. Low Right Side Plank
    4. Low Left Side Plank
    5. Back Plank

    Run to back of NOMA for some . . . . Mary
    1. Heels to Heaven
    2. Gas Pumps
    3. Fire Hydrant
    4. Crunchy Frog
    5. Tin Snips
    6. Penguins
    7. Flutter Kicks
    8. Wide Legged Dying Cock Roaches
    9. Hello Dolly

    Finished with obligatory “Sunday Mornings”.
    COT.

  • To plan or not to plan – from Kenna Brah

    18 total PAX chose to start their weak with an invigorating if not mind numbing beatdown by yours truly:

    Heart and Soul Warmers:
    GoodMorning Moutain Man Pooper
    Arm Circles
    Toy Rockette Soldiers (;>})
    SSH at various speeds

    DORA ( or somethin close to it )
    100 w/rock
    Merkin
    Curl
    OH press
    Squat
    All together is “1”

    Timer: Run to light poel about 70 yds away, 5 burpees, run Backwards on the way back. Those who get to 100 can continue or assist another pax.
    We all finished so the rewards 2 rnds:
    On the table bench seats:
    Dip/Leg Raise combo I call Dippity-Do Rockettes 10x
    Lay on table top:
    Low Slow Leg Lift – legs go below horizontal and the raise to 90′

    Mosey with rocks to drain pumps – Mary to finish out – COT

  • Runners, Stretchers, and Runners Who Became Stretchers – from Bolt

    After the Monday fartsack I decided to drop a comment in the Pontiff channel as a form of commitment to showing up today and upon rising I saw Pillsbury had made me accountable with a thumbs up emoji—no choice now; thank you, Pillsbury! As 530 struck, a dozen pax took to the track or the pavilion for their preferred version of the gloom—track sprints with Pai Gow or S&M with YHC. Triple and Mahatma split time between both. 45 minutes elapsed, then COT.

  • Research and DeveLEGment – from Goose

    It was about 5:12 and YHC was still sitting in an empty parking lot beginning to wonder if the double Goose threat had scared all the PAX away. But, then YHC heard a choir of angels behind him and knew that the Tana had descended. He shared how many of the other PAX were shaking in their exclusive text thread boots, but that he wasn’t gonna miss out on an opportunity to get stronger.
    Since it was just the two of us, we realized we had a golden opportunity to answer the question that has been burning in men’s hearts for generation upon generation: how much punishment can a human quadricep take?

    After a brief warmup of nothing but legs and a few arm circles, we moseyed to the bumper and stop sign and back. Then, it was onto the first stage of research with a new one: something called Dutch Skaters. These are meant to be used by a group as a way to traverse a long distance in single-file Indian run style. YHC and Tana tried it around the track to get a sense for how it might be used in future beatdowns. You’re basically leaping from one leg to the other at a 45° angle and bringing your back foot to touch the opposite calf. So, you’re moving forward, jumping side to side as if you were ice skating and touching your laces to your opposite calf each time you land. It wasn’t too hard, but we were starting to feel it toward the end. It’s not the manliest of movements, but compared to the rest of the beatdown, it was the high point of our looking masculine and dignified.

    Next, we did 11s starting at one picnic table with 10 heel raises on the side of the benches so the heels would go below the bench on each raise, and then 1 alternating stepup (2:1) on the picnic table across the field, descending and ascending in rep count in typical 11s fashion. The transportation between the two tables was the kicker…this was a partner exercise. Big Tana and Lanky Goose squatted back to back and moved first forward/backward, then backward/forward, then sideways, then the other sideways. It was admittedly a little awkward at first without anyone else out there, but once we found our sync, we were unstoppable, kind of like when the Power Rangers linked up their individual robots to make that big huge robot, and you knew it was game over.
    The quads were burning more than YHC expected even after just the first set, but Tana’s positive attitude carried YHC despite heavier than usual car traffic passing through. I have no doubt the neighbors knew exactly what we were trying to accomplish and were cheering us on quietly from the confines of their vehicles: “Look at those two large, fit men making such progress in the fields of leg science! I feel proud that this is happening in the front of my neighborhood!”

    Once this was done, and the quads were sufficiently smoked, it was time for some howling monkeys. This consisted of a ring of fire with all participating PAX holding the ankles while each one in turn does 10 monkey humpers. Since it was just the two of us, we took turns and each did about five sets. As it turns out, holding that position after doing more monkey humpers than science has (up to this point) allowed is pretty dang hard, but we knew the passing neighbors were cheering us on, so we hold our ankles proudly and pressed on for the good of human progress.

    The next routine didn’t have a good name, so we decided to name it either Countdown to Death or The Nuclear Option—it was like Al Gore, counting down to when he turns the key and destroys the human race via nuclear holocaust in order to save the environment. It started with 10 jump squats, and then holding Al Gore position for a 10 count, then nine jump squats, followed by holding Al Gore for a nine count, then eight, then, seven, etc. But, instead of ending with one, we, of course, ended with 10.

    After this, we completed a much needed recovery lap, and though Tana at first questioned whether it was actual recovery, he quickly came to the conclusion that whatever came next would likely make the lap feel like recovery in comparison. And he was right.

    After the spaghetti-leg lap, it was time for The Motivator, a side, straddle hop routine used to burn out whatever legs and cardio you might have remaining. It starts with 10 regular SSH, then 10 half SSH, then 10 quarter SSH, then 10 hops with your feet together. Without stopping, you then do nine of each, then eight of each, then seven, etc., But, again, we ended with 10 instead of one because it’s F3.

    We had 8 minutes left for Mary and rejoiced at the chance to lie down and get off our legs. We did: WWI sit-ups, Freddy’s, heels to heaven, crunchy frogs, slow flutters, slow penguins, and leg raises.
    COT, and YHC forgot to pray (my bad, Tana!).

    Though the question remains unanswered, two brave PAX got stronger this morning thanks to the Tanacity of the big man. T-claps! Thanks for the camaraderie this morning, bro! Your legs are now scientifically classified as beefy.

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • Late to the Party – from Akbar

    7 strong this morning, with YHC 15 minutes late, setting the alarm for 4:50 pm. Body clock woke me up, quick text to Hammer to get us started, and on the way. Arriving to 6 pax and the shovel flag that Quarterpipe picked up from a previous beatdown, we were ready to go. Day 1 home alone while the M is out of town for 2 weeks. Expecting the Whacker to show up after 3 days of silence, disappointment set in for a no show. Great to see Moby Dick down from Covington.

    Hammer got started with 11’s, Merkins and abs – which didn’t register with YHC – we started with a DORA. Plank Jacks, Merkins, and abs of choice. P1 works, P2 runs to the white mailbox and back to relieve.

    Head to the playground for pull ups and jump squats x 10 OYO, 3 sets

    Benches: Bulgarian split squats and freak nasties x 10 IC, 2 rounds

    To the swing set for Swerkins – Feet on swing, Merkin and tuck x 10. Jump squats after x10

    Lungewalk to center court and finish with abs x10 IC
    Flutter Kicks, Rosalita, Wife Pleasers, E2K left and right, Hello Dolly.

    Count, Name, and Hammer prayed us out with thoughts of his case and me home alone with kids for 2 weeks while the M is out of town.

    Announcements – Zoorich Classic Saturday at the Lakefront. Men’s Dinner and speaker at St. Timothy Thursday.

  • Swinger in Da House – from King Kong

    Thunderstorms passed through last night. I woke up to a wet, cool April morning with low humidity. Rain had stopped around 6 a.m., and the sun was creeping up. What a beautiful morning!!! We saw a white minivan pulling up to the parking lot with an unfamiliar face. His name is Swinger from down range Houston (Sugarland). He’s called Swinger because he swing dances. But we all thought he lied about the origin of his name.

    We started off with warm-ups: Self-Love, Windmills, Imperial Walkers, Hill Billies, Arm Circles, Slow Low Squats, Halos, Bottle Caps, and Around the World.

    The Thang 1 OYO:
    10 single handed curls
    10 single handed rows
    10 Lunges with bells (2 is 1)
    10 burpees jump over

    15 triceps extensions
    15 two handed rows
    15 Leg raises with the bells
    Bear crawl to the parking lot and back

    20 overhead presses
    20 kettle bell swings
    20 goblet squats
    Overhead carry to the parking lot and back

    The Thang 2 in cadence:
    Rinse and repeat all the exercises above. Except this time, we did everything in cadence.

    The Thang 3:
    Dora 1, 2, 3
    100 curls, 200 kettle bell taps, 300 flutter kicks with the bell
    While one pax was doing the exercise, the other pax was carrying his bell to the park lot and back. (dealer’s choice – could be overhead carry, suitcase carry, etc.)

    COT

    Dinghy, Moana, and Sphinxter met us at Wakin’ Bakin’ for some breakfast.

    SYITG

    Kong

  • Dewars, Storks and Peanut Butter and Butter – from Rudy

    Yesterday (April 14th) was 3rd anniversary of my dad’s passing. YHC brought some memories to the beatdown this am. At 628am, YHC opened up the Mini, asked everyone to grab a pair of bricks. At 630am, YHC turned on the 80s playlist, and the 13 PAX moseyed (with their bricks) to the Peristyle.

    But wait – Cheese Steak rolled in hot. YHC back to the car to get one more set of bricks. A few minutes later, our DR visitor from Chicago (Bob the Builder) rolled in. Hokie went for more bricks.

    After a brief warmup (thank you Mahatma!), we got to work. We were going to visit a few places in the park. At each place, we’d have a cycle of exercises – 60 seconds on, 20 second rest.

    Stop #1: The Peristyle with bricks. My father’s favorite evening night cap was a splash of Dewars. We still keep a bottle of it around with my family to periodically celebrate. 2 rounds of exercises to spell out DEWARS

    Donkey Kicks
    Eagle Wings (bat wings stuff – with bricks)
    Wonderbra (peoples chair – then push the bricks out, then push’em up)
    American Hammer
    Rocky Balboa
    Starfish crunch

    Stop #2: Return the bricks to the Mini, and head to the rocks by the fountain. My father was an OB/GYN. His passion was delivering babies. What else delivers babies? 2 rounds of exercises (con roca) to spell out STORK

    Squats
    T-Merkins
    Overhead Press
    Rows
    Kettlebell Swings

    Triple Shift gratefully let YHC have a shot with TS’s rock while TS proceeded to one-arm Overhead Press YHC’s rock. Eventually, Frac relieved YHC.

    Stop #3: Return the rocks, mosey to the little foundry. My father’s favorite treat that he introduced to my kids – the Peanut Butter and Butter sandwich (only to be made with spreadable tub butter). 2 rounds of PBB exercises

    Pull Ups
    Burpees
    Big Boy Situps

    Stop #4: Stop by the Tool Wall. As the cancer took his life, he lost strength in his legs. YHC will pay a bit of honor with some leg strengtheners.

    Calf Raises
    Monkey Humpers
    Bonnie Blairs (modify to Lunges)
    Calf Raises

    Couldn’t get through 2 full rounds as. we were already late. Back to the flag – getting their about 5 minutes late. YHC didn’t apologize for the delay, as he didn’t feel bad about it.

    Finished with our COT. Prayers offered for other PAX who also go through struggles with their aging parents and health concerns.

    Thank you all for allowing me to celebrate my father’s life. He meant the world to me. I miss him daily. But I know he has moved on to the next phase of his life, and I know I will be rejoining him again one day.

  • History Lesson, by Coyote – from Goose

    If you think about a specific day, you might think, “It’s this person’s birthday,” or, “Dang it it’s tax day.” If you go on google and look up a day like that, you will then think, “This is the day that everything happened.” That was what YHC thought when YHC looked up April 15th. The Pax and YHC started the warmups, we did the normal exercises, Side straddle hops, Imperial walkers, Windmills, that kind of stuff, then we moseyed to the Titanic (The playground, also today is the day the Titanic sunk) and sailed away while jamming out to “Come Sail Away” while doing Imperial walkers and when we heard “sail away” we instinctively shot the basketball like Bobby Hurly, then we hit the iceberg and we started climbing the ladders like Goofballs, and when we were done doing that, we raced and wrestled to get to the highest part of the ship, then the lifeboats. Sadly, Superfun(d) fell and had to start swimming like Scuba Steve. We did it again and we lost our Paradox. Today is also when the great Notre Dame cathedral caught on fire, so we ran from the sinking Titanic to the Thunderdome where we where surrounded by a ring of fire while doing flying buttresses (merkin and airplane) and laying down making the steeple fall down with six inch holds and leg raises. We ran from the burning cathedral to join the Boston Marathon, (today was the bombing of the Boston Marathon). We saw the bombs, they exploded, so we got in pairs and broke out in BOMBS. One runner ran a hundred meters and back, then the two partners switched places. It went on like this for fifty burpees, one hundred overhead presses, one hundred monkey humpers, one hundred big boy sit-ups, and one hundred side straddle hops. Smooth Operater had his two 2.0s. By the time everybody was done, he was dragging the wagon and doing monkey humpers, so we helped out on the sit-ups, straddle hops, and running. While we were hammering out those, Redfish was lying on the ground resting. With all the help, we finished pretty quickly. I then mentioned that today, ninety-four people died in a soccer stampede, so we ran around the track twice, and at each goal post, we would get trampled and do ten hand-release merkins, trying to get back up but getting knocked back to the ground. We moseyed back to the flag and did some eight minute Mary. YCH let the entire circle choose an exercise to do. After that, it was count off and name off, we congratulated Tractor for his fourth birthday, Cardinal forgot the Animal shirt, and the tank top was given to WetTap, and YHC did the cooldowns alone today. This has been history lessons with Coyote.

  • Ramp Work at The A1C – from Einstein

    A cool 57 degrees at 5:15 a.m., at the A1C, atop the Justice Center Parking Garage.

    Warmup:
    all 15xIC: toe touch, ss hops, imperial walkers, neck rolls, high kneees, butt kicks, shoulder press, hi jack hi jill, arm circles, hillbillys, smurf jacks, thumb drives, ice skater hops, etc.

    Thang:
    Set of Elevens on the up-down parking ramp;
    pop-up and pop-down squats at the top, forward and reverse lunges at the bottom, back-peddling and fore-peddling on the flip-flop run up and down the ramp.

    All had fun…with mumble chatter about Jose10k honeymoonig, BBQ missing in action, and cuz Bushwacker dealing with sequestration under the Jesuit “cone of silence.”

    Count-o-rama
    Prayers/intentions offered for cancer patient, heart patient.
    Prayers/intentions offered for cuz Bushwacker – while he’s silently retreating at the Manresa facility in Convent, LA.

    DarkWingDuck led us out with prayer.