F3 New Orleans

Author: Rudy

  • Afternoon Delight 2-22-2023 – from Almonaster

    Ash Wednesday!

    PAX:

    – Strings
    – Blowout
    – Bullseye
    – Whopper
    – Big Willy
    – Moana
    – Almonaster

    Mosey to the Statue.

    Warmup:

    SSH – 20 IC
    Arm Circles -10 IC
    Reverse Arm Circles – 10 IC
    Imperial Walkers – 10 IC
    Balance on 1 foot for 10 seconds – Each Foot
    The Morpheus – 10 IC
    Grass Grabbers – 10 IC
    Windmills – 10 IC
    Mountain Climbers – 10 IC

    The Thang:

    Merkins – 20 IC
    Squats – 20 IC
    LBC’s – 20 IC

    Lap to street and back three times

    Mosey to the pullup station

    Three Pull Ups, OYO
    20 Wife Pleasers, OYO
    20 Shoulder taps, 2 is 1, OYO

    Lap to the light post and back three times. – Wait for 6.

    Mary
    Leg Lifts – 20 IC
    Freddie Mercury’s – 20 IC
    Russian Twists (Douilles) – 20 IC
    Burpees – 10 OYO

    Back to Flag

    Birthdays
    Anniversaries
    Announcements
    Intentions
    Prayer

    Thanks for the opportunity to Lead!

  • Running Instead of Stretching – from Charmin

    YHC came out expecting a stretch session decided to run a mile before the workout. Fortunately, when 5:30 came, Pai Gow was the only other HIM, so we decided to run.

    Overall, it was good to push ourselves in the gloom.

  • Sweating out the King Cake at the Gipper – from Einstein

    A humid 67 degrees for the gathered PAX, this Wednesday morning, at The Gipper

    Warmup:
    Toe Touch, SSHops, Neck Rolls, Seal Jacks, Parker Peters, Smurf Jacks, Shoulder Taps
    Hi Jack Hi Jills, Arm Circles, Shoulder Slingbacks, Imperial Walkers, Hillbillies, High Kneees, Butt Kicks

    mosey over to the front of the Justice Center

    Event 1: partner up
    First set of Two:partner one starts on bench step-ups, partner two runs up the promenade then around the half block – flipflop x2
    Second set of Two:partner one starts on box jump and/or bench hop-overs, partner two runs up the promenade then around the half block – flipflop x2

    mosey over to the parking garage upper deck

    Event 2: using the parking lot stripping; bear crawl half the parking lot distance with a merkin at every other stripe, lunge walk remainder of deck, back peddle to starting point. Core at the four corners including: left elbow to right knee – right elboew to left knee, flutter kicks, plank kick-outs, rosalitas

    mosey back to The Gipper Trailhead

    Count-o-rama, Shooter leads us out with a prayer.

    Thanks guys. Always fun to lead

  • Krewe of F3BacchThothMion – from Russo

    Mid 60s and mild this morning after just picture perfect weather over the weekend for revelry in all forms.

    School’s out, which means a Jose sighting, and he didn’t disappoint: ready to go with beads (that were conspicuously absent after a while) and light up rings. PI joined us from the ‘Dell to represent the “out of town tourist”, and Bird pulled up a minute or so late, representing the reveler that sneaks his way to the front after the crowds have been gathered for hours. YHC took the position of Q / float captain, and away we went with the Krewe of F3 F3BacchThothMion (mythical god of fellowship, burpees, and mumblechatter).

    WARMUP (all IC, 10x – 20x) –
    – SSHs (Hey over here throw me something)
    – Toe touches (Bend down to pick up the light up beads)
    – Arm circles (Wind up the pitching arm to perfectly throw to the babies in the ladders)
    – High knees (practicing our St. Paul’s band high steps to impress the judges)
    – Torso twists (to clear out the space around you when the late arriving parade crowd infringes on your carefully planned out “perfect spot”)
    – Goofballs (climbing the ladder to stand behind the kids in the ladder)

    THANG
    (1) Trivia, then corresponding exercise (with moseys and column slaloms intermittently disbursed between questions)

    How many official colors of Mardi Gras? 3
    – Suicide – 3 merkins at each column

    What year was the first known Mardi Gras parade? 1837
    – 18 Peter Parker’s, 37 lunges

    What year were floats introduced? 1857
    – 18 merkins, 57 squats

    When does Mardi Gras season start? King’s day, January 6, or 1-6 (correct answer from Fletch!)
    – 16 SMCs

    How many floats were in this years Thoth parade? 39 – 15 tandems
    – 24 plankjacks, plus 15 shoulder tap plankjacks

    What float number was I on? 18
    – 18 donkey kicks

    What float number was JV on in Endymion 28
    – 28 monkey humpers

    What float number was Cowbell on in Bacchus? 4
    4 crunchy frogs, 4 times

    How many scheduled parades (riding, walking, lawnmower, dog) were in and around the New Orleans area this year? 77
    – 77 high knees (2 is 1) – up from 71 in 2022

    How many all-female Krewes are there? 8 (Nefertiti, Cleopatra, Eve, Femme Fatale, Nyx, Muses, Selene, Iris)
    – 8 8 count body builders

    (2) “What side you on???”
    Pax picks a side, doing the corresponding exercise for that side

    Round 1:
    Neutral ground: 10 step ups (2 is 1)
    Sidewalk: 10 freak nastys

    Round 2:
    Neutral ground: 10 BSSs
    Sidewalk: 10 box jumps

    Round 3:
    Neutral ground: 15 Durkins
    Sidewalk: 15 Urkins

    Round 4:
    Neutral ground: 15 leg raises
    Sidewalk: 15 Gas pumps

    Round 5:
    Neutral ground: 15 crab cakes
    sidewalk: 15 crab cakes

    (3) “Throw me something mister!!!”
    One man climbs the pilot house to the “balcony”, while another tosses him a foam Endymion football that are now pervasive in YHC’s house. The other men held plank position until their turn.

    There may or may not have been flashing to entice a throw.

    COT, Name-o-Rama, announcements (Nehemiah project’s Endurathon this weekend, see/contact Hammer for more info) and prayer closed us out.

    Thanks for joining/reading. You guys make it easier to get up before 5 on a day off from work and push myself to get better.

    SYITG

  • DJ DOD volume 3: Fat Tuesday Tuff – from Paradox

    A good beatdown can originate from many sources. Some days we sharpen iron, others we honor feasts. Sometimes a theme may be in order or maybe just a hodgepodge of track induced pain (yea Goose , we still salty).
    A few days ago after YHCc’s 3rd lifetime Mardi Gras parade, so many F3 worthy songs were heard that there remained only one course of action. A text to my DJ DOD counter part that it was time for volume 3. The supply of Mardi Gras jamz was high and the pax demand for fun on Fat Tuesday even higher. If only we had a professor of marketing (who is also a self proclaimed traditional NOLA Mardi Gras expert ) to guide us. Well maybe one day, I guess it’s next man up. So we dusted off the deck of death and two north La rednecks shouldered the burden of what became Fat Tuesday Tuff.
    Pit Boss Ronnie set the tone early with a pair of seizure shades and several parade props to distribute amongst the Pax. 4 more pax saddled up and we let the good times roll! ( it’s a traditional Nola greeting , look it up )

    Duke ! Get the bean footage!

    Warmup
    Ronnie led standard warmup
    While YHCc was adding increasing burpees between each warmup. Goose saw the tactic immediately and looked like he smelled a dead animal carcass in the bayou while Cuz begged for more than 1 each round because he wore his scuba shorts for extra sweat.

    The Twerkin Mile
    A twist on a TT classic to get the core fully activated.
    Standard Merkin mile course with four stops for :
    20 leg raises
    40 big boys
    60 gas pumps
    80 flutter kicks (2:1)

    This is where the chatter picked up and we were introduced to an entire new segment called the Tana Tumbler. Here’s how it works . During a group run you introduce a topic to Tana and he will run with it while introducing new topics on top of it until we are all in stitches. In this very manner we covered Scientology , The great hot sauce debate, what the Superman move actually means and even post BD he couldn’t be stopped and gave us a history of pre-ATT devices. We have our beatdown fact checkers working overtime and will give a full report on percent accuracy of the Tana Tumbler claims.

    Back to the flag for some DJ DOD

    Song #1
    Mardi Gras Day
    Boat hold into Superman on all “mardi gras days”
    YHCc kept feeling like a beached whale and in retrospect we might need to do this in the grass or maybe never again.

    DOD
    Special Mardi gras edition
    Ronnie will throw the cards up in the air and if you catch multiple you get to pick which exercise .

    Goose started with a great strategy to “breadbasket “ the cards and gifted us 100 calf raises
    Wet Tap gave us 14 Carolina dry docks and several excuses as to why he wasn’t a wide receiver.

    Song 2
    YHCc stressed again that we would stick to Traditional NOLA Mardi Gras music so we went for an old timer classic…
    Silentos “Whip and Nae Nae “ -hold plank
    Whip -merkins
    Nae Nae -side reach
    Stanky leg -lift leg
    Break yo leg – MC

    Still not sure I wanna know what a Superman is.

    DOD
    Tana brought us 9 ranger merkins and Cuz caught some high flutter kicks that were particularly nasty .

    Song 3
    Saints go marching in
    Bearcrawl /crawlBear to first picnic table
    Dolphin hop on Saints
    Silence followed by grumbling, ahhhh sweet music to my ears.

    DOD
    YHCc caught zero cards , blamed the wind and we did 60 2 is 1 Freddy mercuries. Lil Cuz has not fully learned to translate YHCc’s slurred speech and began to dutifully pound out 60 Freddy Merkins. Love that attitude cuz. Bonus Merkins with a smile will always get T claps at F3 thib.

    Ronnie was last, caught two cards with his hands and one on with his chest sweat (like a real man) and we rounded out with 20 low and slow squats.

    Song 4
    Carnival Time Finisher
    Burpees on carnival , SSH on rest

    COT and Wet Tap prayed us out .

    Had an absolute blast out there in the gloom today fellas. Special thanks to Ronnie for all the props and for willingly looking like a crazy person with me.

    SYITG
    DJ Texaco Cat

  • We Did This to Ourselves – from Yankee Joe

    This past Saturday during Goose’s ‘Ha-quartermile-matata’ beatdown, YHC expected football games and shenanigans in five-yard increments. Instead, he experienced a darkness, nay a hopelessness that hadn’t been seen since Paradox’s “Teamwork Gumbo- Add Burpees to Taste” beatdown back in August.

    Cardinal described the experience perfectly, moving through the range of emotions from hope to confusion to darkness to disgust with Goose to owning the pain. During a similar past experience, Enron had simply asked Goose, “Who hurt you?” Wet Tap provided the pivotal insight we all needed by describing Goose’s rebirth and remaking each spring. The explanation stirs images crossing between that scene in Alien and a large bald bird in the process of molting. In fact, molting simply means shedding old feathers, hair, skin, etc. to make room for growth. I suppose in this case, the hair never grew back.

    It is in this mindset that YHC considered Monday’s beatdown. He was very fortunate to have his cousin, Mullet, DR’ing from The Branch AO in Houston, so of course, the pressure was on. With 60 degrees and nine PAX, we delved into some over-active recovery mixed with some festive tunes to celebrate Mardi Gras and the onset of the Lenten season.

    ————————————–
    Waramarama was normal in both exercises and YHC’s odd struggle with remembering the order of cadence. This only opened a huge, massive, enormous door for Paradox and Enron mumblechatter. Like sharks to blood in the water. No mercy.

    We covered a lot of ground, the most important of which included deep wisdom from Homer. No, not that Homer. Homer HIgh School…Alma Mater of our very own Paradox…home of the mighty Pelicans and the recipients of an impressive Google review of 3.4 out of 5.0 on their website. It’s nice Clark. Real niiice. (I’m not even sure he went there, but who cares, right?)

    We finished with throw me somethin’ mistas and after watching Montana’s shimmying, YHC was forced to accept that the beatdown was already off the rails. The rest of the mernin’ would run in similar fashion. Like a middle school boy, who during the first hour of an 8-hour field trip, tried to be funny and rip ass on one of his friends. However, he got far more than he bargained for. There are no bathrooms to be found on a bluebird school bus. There are no bathrooms to be found at Lake Kissimmee State Park visiting the pioneer cabins. So all a fourth grade Joe can do is walk bowlegged and hope for the best. YHC has never been caught without doo doo pills for any trip longer than 30 minutes since.

    ———————————-
    Warm-up song – Mardi Gras Mambo
    – Shoulder taps for duration of the song
    – Merkin on “Mardi Gras” and “mambo”
    – 49 merkins

    Mumblechatter decreased significantly, but the PAX’ confidence was still a bit too high. Based on some observations from this past Saturday, YHC saw things that he couldn’t unsee. What was so repulsive? GABF or Generally Accepted Burpee Form. We needed to get back to basics, so we deconstructed the burpee mechanics. YHC felt something sting on the back of his neck…was it Cardinal staring daggers?

    Thang 1: Breaking The Pax Down
    Deconstructed burpees (55 squats; 55 groiners; 55 merks, 100 yds bearcrawl)

    – 10 squats
    – 10 groiners
    – 10 merkins
    – Bear crawl to next marker
    (Decrease by 1 each rep until 1 each)
    – Finish with 10 burpees

    ———————————–
    The problem according to Goose – as he told YHC this past Saturday – is that “you’re weak.” Maybe even lazy. The only way to fix this affliction is through our good friend, Dora. To be honest, she’s a bit of a hack. Map and Backpack do all the heavy lifting. And now that I think about it, Swiper reminds me of Paradox. Paradox, stop doctoring. Paradox, stop doctoring. YHC asked if there were any questions. Enron responded with something, it was not fully audible. I don’t think it was a shout out.

    Thang 2: Lazy Doras

    Partner up. Partners perform 200 Merkins, 400 squats, & 600 LBCs as a team. Here’s the catch…no running.

    – P1 starts with 20 Merkins while P2 elbow planks, then switch. Continue switching between Merkins and plank until 100 total Merkins reached.

    – P1 does 40 squats, P2 performs Al Gore until P1 is finished, then switch. Continue switching until all 400 squats are completed.

    – P1 does 60 LBCs while P2 does 6″ leg hold, then switch. Continue switching until 600 total LBCs are completed.

    We barely finished the second round of squats. It is probably for the best. Had the Form Police been at the scene one set of PAX would have been hauled off to jail. In retrospect, based on their Juvenile interpretive dancing, Cardinal, Tana, and Lil’ Cuz almost backed their thangs up into purgatory.

    As you can imagine, YHC had to say something. As you can imagine Lil’ Cuz and Cardinal tore YHC to shreds. It got ugly, but not as ugly as watching Tana’s Al Gore pose from the backside.

    On a brighter note, Paradiddle is a straight up beast. He barely broke a sweat during Goose’s PMS beatdown and this morning, hung out in Al Gore, but the hard way with legs splayed wide and toes pointed out. In some circles, this is called the goddess squat and it makes Al Gore feel like a comfy heated toilet seat.

    YHC called time with five minutes remaining and shifted to our close out song.

    Mary Song – Hey Pocky A-Way (The Meters)

    – Hold elbow plank for duration of song
    – Pickle pounder on every “way” or “hey”
    – 66 pickle pounders

    The chatter subsided and the badassery resumed.

    COT and Lil’ Cuz prayed us out.

    Don’t let the snark fool you. We all love and are exceedingly grateful for the molting process.

  • The Lions Share – from Akbar

    14 strong at the Lakefront today in bitter conditions. Einstein down range from F3 Houston – who brought an FNG, and 2 other FNG’s related to the first FNG. A family affair. Slots joined us mid-way appearing from nowhere. Did I say it was cold? We got warmed up fast.

    Conditions: 30 degrees and breezy

    Warm Up
    50 SSH, 5 Burpees, 40 SSH, 5 Burpees, Self-Love, Toe Touches, Grass Grabbers, 30 SSH, 5 Burpees, 20 SSH, 5 Burpees

    Thang – Ladder from 100-10 with some runs in between

    100 Squats
    90 Crunchy Frogs

    Mosey to Rips

    80 Rocky Balboa’s (2-1) with a squat jumps after every 10 reps
    70 Wall Plank Jacks – Feet up on wall

    Mosey up Noah’s Ark to Claiborne
    60 Around the World Lunges – front, side, reverse each leg = 6 reps x 10

    Mosey down Claiborne to the old Varsity Sports
    50 Bird Dog Crunches 25 each side

    Mosey back to the Flag
    40 Merkins
    30 Supermans

    Mosey to Noah’s Ark
    20 frog leaps – Hands behind head

    Mosey back to the Flags
    10 Navy Seal Burpees- courtesy of Einstein – Merkin, right leg to right arm, Merkin, left leg to left arm, Merkin, Jump with Clap at top = 1

    Wall Freak Nasty IC x 10

    Mary IC x 10

    LBC, Mountain Climbers, Peter Parker, Jane Fonda, Monkey Humpers, Flutter Kicks, 100’s, Gas Pumps (BBQ led IC)

    Count-o-rama, Name-o-rama
    Welcome FNG’s Parcheezi, Mahoney, and Baggins

    Announcements: Run Cajun Run, Endurathon, City Pork (City Park F3 family event with 5 5k’s) tentatively Feb 25th.

    Circle up, Paw Paw prayed us out

  • Workin’ Our Legs, Workin’ Our Core, and Workin’ Our jaws – from Bushwacker

    Heading to bed, YHC noticed no Q for the Splash Pad. Sure that at least Russo, the Guardian of the Mandeville Trail Head would be there (plus a bonus in Pelican), Bushwacker was on the Q sheet. Around 40 degrees after what ( in February?!) may well be our last significant cold front, it was a brisk morning calling for some immediate thermogenesis.

    WARMORAMA

    QIC recalls starting with 10 IC High Knees and 10 Butt Kicks, but after that it’s all a bit fuzzy.

    THANG

    The PAX mosied down Girod towards the lake, stopping at the Rusty Pelican’s “waiting shelter” for some step ups, and probably 1 or 2 other exercises. What was really focused on during the mosey, as well as for a few minutes every time we stopped, was high level mumblechatter!

    Next was the book and the bean for some quick yoga with our coffee in the form of bungled, but effective Lizard’s Poses. The sea wall was the next stop, and honestly I don’t remember what we did other than more yapping.

    Returning up Lafitte, we paid homage to the out of town (though not out of work) hairdresser, and his lovely family with some Toure de Humpers!

    MARY

    Back to the trail head with 2 core exercises followed by an ever extended jog up the stairs and around ALL the columns,l etc, etc.

    COT

    Count and Name and Pelican prayed us out, and he and myself rounded out the miles for RCR

    Adieu Adieu to you and you and you…and merci beaucoup!

  • Ha-quartermile-matata – from Goose

    It was a frigid morning as YHC pulled in much earlier than normal due to a lack of 2.0’s and the need to place a marker board by the track without being seen. I didn’t want the PAX to see it before it was time–no need to ruin a beautiful morning sooner than necessary. YHC expected to sit in a warm truck for at least a few minutes before Paradox would inevitably break the solitude with the beginnings of a solid hour of chatter. But, not this morning–Smooth Operator pulled in just a few seconds behind YHC with two young 2.0’s in a blanketed wagon. Jack Be Nimble and Tractor jumped out into the frigid morning ready to rock, showing the same joyful readiness as big Smooth. As more PAX rolled in (including Major Brat!), there was still no sign of Paradox, and YHC began to wonder if he had slipped in an announcement of being out of town at the end of Thursday’s beatdown (brain function tends to leak out with the steam coming off YHC’s head). But, he pulled in with two minutes to spare and Enron right behind him looking like he wanted to fight–Enron was smiling, but road rage was in his eyes as it seemed the usual competitive jostling had started on the way to the beatdown.

    The much needed warmup began with the usuals plus some Willie Mays Hayes for the cold, tight lower backs. Then, we moseyed to the track/field to reveal contents of the board. The Quarter Mile Ladder was the title under which was written a list of exercises. At first, the PAX thought we’d have an enjoyable opportunity to log some miles and some quality time, assuming that we were going to be doing one exercise at a time with a leisurely lap between each. Wouldn’t that be nice. For our wives.

    No, that’s not how a ladder works. We’d start with the first exercise, 5 burpees, followed by a lap (quarter mile), then add the next, so 5 burpees and 10 merkins, followed by a lap. Then, 5 burpees, 10 merkins, and 15 lunges (2:1) followed by a lap, ultimately working our way up to 10 total exercises followed by a tenth lap. Here’s the list:
    5 burpees
    10 merkins
    15 lunges (2:1)
    20 mountain climbers (2:1)
    25 Freddy Mercs
    30 squats
    35 Peter Parkers (1:1)
    40 Big Boy Situps
    45 Side Straddle Hops
    50 Shoulder Taps (1:1)

    When YHC saw Paradiddle pull in (on Bourg time), I knew this one would be right up his alley, so I was happy to sidle up next to him on the first lap and stay in pace for the duration. Running seems as easy as breathing for him, so YHC knew I’d be pushed but also be distracted from the drudgery by some solid conversation. It was clear that many of the PAX had entered a dark place after the first lap or so, so YHC suggested pacing with a partner, which seemed to give a few guys a shot in the arm. But, nothing could’ve boosted the morale more effectively than a spontaneous serenade from Tractor. Smooth had been hauling the two boys around the track in the luxury wagon for about 30 minutes to a constant stream of encouraging/shaming shouts of “Come on, Dad! You can do it! Push harder! COME ON! You’re taking forever! What’s wrong with you?” And, while waiting for super-dad to finish his Peter Parkers, Tractor started belting out “Hakuna Matata” (or something close enough to that), and the cute innocence combined with the irony of hearing a bunch of grown men singing along, “it means no worries…” as they fought for breath and poured their sweat (and blood–Paradox) into the track, deeply dreading the next lap, couldn’t have been more perfectly timed. It was incredible, and it likely kept a number of the guys from spiraling into a deep, dark solitude.
    YHC was initially worried about finishing too early, but instead found that I was yearning for 7:30 to provide sweet relief. It seemed, however, that the ladder was crafted a little too perfectly, and YHC rolled into the last turn with nothing left in the tank and seconds left on the clock. The rest of the PAX came flying in and collapsed, breathless but grateful to have finished what looked at first to be an extremely unattractive exercise routine.

    The brotherhood, as we slow moseyed back to the flag carrying layers of clothing, was deeply felt, wrought by a unique experience of mutual suffering on a cold but beautiful morning. Providentially, this was also the morning Yankee Joe thought to bring the fixings of a solid coffeeteria, so we were gratefully able to remain in it for a while after COT. Even YHC partook of the enslaving brew, raising an insulated cup to this awesome fraternity forged in the fires of pain, humility, gratitude, and accomplishment.

    Announcements included some ideas for an amazing Northshore convergence in April–stay tuned for more details, but we’re definitely gonna clown car up there for it if the date works.

    Thanks, again, for the push and the camaraderie this morning, fellas!

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • You say Tabata. i say Tabata – from Mobydick

    YHC arrived earlier than usual and checked the calendar and saw no one had claimed the Q. I signed up just as the rest if the PAX arrived. After a a stretchy warmup and a bit of techno fumbling to get the phone sound to work we launched into a 2 min on 1 min off tabata of 5 exercises. SSH/Merkins/Crunches/Squats/Burpees. All on your own. After three rounds what happens is one reaches ones own point of exhaustion. The day after was sore in some new places so all went as planned. COT and a prayer of gratitude for our inner strength it was off to meet the world.