F3 New Orleans

Author: Rudy

  • The Centenarian Decathlon, Lap 2: Caged Possums – from Paradox

    The centenarian decathlon, introduced by longevity expert Dr Peter Attia, provides a framework for reverse engineering your aging and focusing on healthspan AND lifespan. It can also serve as an excellent thought experiment and practical guide for physical goals.

    The question is fairly simple. Assuming you reach 100, what are the ten tasks you would like to still be able to do?

    This could be anything! Wanna drink strawberry wine in a rocking chair reminiscing about When we were young ? Put it on the list. Running against the wind through The Suburbs as you blow past other 64 year old Beatles. Check, check and check!!

    You could put the practical stuff there too I guess, and lots of ppl will have overlap there. Picking up grandkids, traveling and getting off the john banos without assistance always make a lot of lists.
    In the early 2023 CD 100 YHC surveyed the pax the day before the beatdown and so we ended up working on our golf swings, pro creation movements and throwing lazer tight Uncle Rico spirals to our great grand kids. Nothing wrong with these. But this year YHC wanted to look at it from a bit more morbid standpoint and so asked a few patients (some much closer to the real CD) what they miss doing the most in the the 7th , 8th, and 9th decades of life. We would take that list as our decathlon and sprinkle a few musical memory recall tests in for the aging llama neurons.

    Duke! put down that geritol and get your Medicare part D(og) card!
    Roll the footage!

    7 Depaxthletes were ready to roll at the Den but just needed a Q!
    Ya hate to see it.
    YHC came in flaming on two wheels at a prompt 5:17a.
    The lemon truck continues to need intensive care and while grateful for the bum truck it does take a little sweet talking to get rolling in 33 degree gloom.
    Safety valve provided what I’m sure was sheer terror from the pax of a possible substitute danger valve q that prolly involved suicides and rhabdo but YHC rescued them mid warm up and we got to it.

    Average age of pax present was 40.7 years so if we make it to 100 we have 60 more years of physical decline. The idea is we need to train now to be ahead of that drop off. So if you want to lift a cute warm, giggling 20 lb baby one time then it only makes sense for you to lift a much less cute 40 pound ice cold unforgiving coupon 100 times. Theres complicated math imbedded with rates of muscle decay and dietary intake but for simplicity sake we’ll just let Ronnie cook those books later.

    Tha Thang

    Complete 10 reps of exercise and add one exercise each round with a lap in between. While running a civic center lap we would try to guess the artist of a few “memory or aging adjacent” songs.

    YHC just forgot one tiny little wrinkle that once you get an answer correct you would be eliminated from the potential pax that can guess (or if your Popeye then Guess is just a jeans fad, he has facts only.)
    YHC had been tinkering with ways to humble our musical elite and went to bed quite pleased with the potential anguish of only one neutralized pax knowing Arcade Fire while the rest said dumb stuff like Kings of Leon. But again I caution future Qs , if you bring a layup into this Den be prepared for Bruce Mutombo and Shaq Royster to swat it into the rafters and look disappointed you didn’t try harder.

    Decathlon:

    #1. Getting out of bed
    10 Coupon BBSU

    #2. Get off the toilet without assistance – 10 butt to coupon jump squats

    #3. Load grocery’s – 10 Curls

    #4 Pickup Great Grandkids –
    10 Thrusters

    #5 Dance- 10 Apollo Ohnos

    #6. Open a Jar – coupon side carry down and back on middle grip

    #7Cut the grass – Coupon cranks

    YHC skipped to # 10 as a burpee finisher…
    Eating solid food -10 burpees

    ***Ones we didn’t get to ;
    Maybe next year.

    #8Getting up from chair –
    10 goblet squats

    #9 the marital embrace –
    10 Coupon wife pleasers

    The Songs

    “I don’t need your rocking chair”
    – George Jones

    “Running Against the Wind”
    -Bob Seger

    “When we were Young”
    -Adele

    “Glory Days”
    -Bruce Springsteen

    “Strawberry Wine”
    -Deana Carter

    “When I’m 64”
    -the Beatles

    Notes:

    – YHCs new tactic wasn’t a complete failure as the Pax had 1-2 penalties when the group dwindled.
    – George Jones is pure poetry.
    – ABs commentary on Springsteen knowledge equaling US citizenship made the laps melt away .
    – YHC did not have the heart to let a solo pax wildly guess at the Beatles after HoneySuckles recent Beatledown anthology so I figured that was a soft toss.
    – Ronnie took a great guess at Martina McBride and AB let his 90s country weaknesses show out there for any aspiring trivia Qs.

    All together we picked up about 70 40 lb great grandkids, got off the John a few times and remembered a glory day or two.

    Naming and counting then some healthy lines were drawn in the sand between trawlers and WHAPS for the upcoming RCR contest.

    Wrapped up with big time prayers for Yote and the Goose nest.

    HS prayed us out.

    Thanks to the gang for sticking around to find my bum truck keys!
    America’s Best appropriately suggested that keen eye sight might need to be part of the cent decathlon next year.

    Here’s a Dox of Chocolates

    Sit down some time with a post-it note or even some spare certified coast guard letter head. Ask yourself the above question and then I challenge you to build your own unique centenarian decathlon. This can be a guidepost for helping us tailor our physical training and for allowing our health span to stay on course with our lifespan.
    But wait , there’s more.

    Look at the list again and consider some harder yet inescapable truths.

    One day you’ll get up from the toilet unassisted for the last time. (Hopefully after reading a thoroughly good blast)

    One day you will throw your child in the air for the last time.

    One day you may twirl your M in the kitchen for the very last dance.

    Get out of bed, Hike a trail, open a jar of pickles…you get it…At some point you will do every single thing on your list for the very last time and most likely not even know it.

    Considering the value of these events later in life is impactful but what if we flip the timeline back to the present.

    Seeing the gift in each moment as it comes and that God has provided us the means to be in the present.

    And if we can do that then maybe Springsteen was wrong.
    Maybe these ARE the glory days.

    Run against today’s winds.
    Reject tommorows rocking chair.
    And make sure you can taste the strawberries along the way.

    Grateful for an opportunity to lead you fellas.

    SYITG
    Dox

  • Roosevelt Mall’in – from Vagabond

    Warmup

    Drag or carry tree trunk

    8 counts and burpees along the way

    Roosevelt Mall x 10 up/back
    Dips
    Step ups
    Merkins

    Little hill: Bernie Sanders x2
    Bobby Hurley x5
    burpees x5

    Grab coupon x12
    curl
    rows
    squats
    kettle bells
    tricep extensions
    goblet squats
    overhead press

    Football pass with burpee penalty

    Jump rope relay suicide while last guy brings to back and runs to the front

    Back for mor 8 counts

  • Royal Huddleston Burpee, and other esoterica – from Sandbar

    Before YHC achieved 49 for a second time in December, he led the PAX on a 110 burpee challenge with some levee fun thrown in at the Birdcage. Not wanting to be redundant YHC did some digging on the Burpee we have all grown to love, and found out we are doing it wrong. Royal Huddleston Burpee Sr. was a physiologist who invented (arguably) one of the most effective exercises of all time in 1939 for his PhD thesis in Applied Physiology at Columbia Teacher’s College. The burpee is a squat thrust with a stand in between repetitions. Anything added – pushup (merkin) or a jump – is a modification of the original.

    In pouring rain the PAX ran to Wolfpack and did some warmups of SSH, Windmills, Grass Grabbers, Toy Soldiers, Hillbillies and Imperial Walkers. Then the PAX proceeded through various elements of military physical fitness tests.

    1. The first test – 50 burpees OYO

    The exercise was popularized when the United States Armed Services made it one of the ways used to assess the fitness level of recruits when the US entered World War II.[3] Although the original test was not designed to be performed at high volume, the Army used the burpee to test how many times it can be performed by a soldier in 20 seconds[3] – 8 burpees in 20 seconds is considered poor, 10 is fair, 13 or more excellent. The Army also considered that a soldier fit enough for the rigor of war should be able to perform 40 or 50 burpees non-stop in an easy rhythm.

    Then Pax paired up, one to exercise, one to count.

    2. Second Test – Army Physical Fitness Test – 2 minutes pushups.
    3. 2 minutes situps.
    4. Pax then ran sprints of about 200 yards for an element of the Bar Or test of the IDF. a Sprinting in a straight line 150 meters then turning and sprinting back another 150 meters. Regular infantry must complete it under 50 seconds.

    PAX then moseyed through even heavier rain to the ROTC pullup bars to complete that element of the Army Ranger test. Ranger Test – For soldiers attending the Ranger Assessment and Selection Program (RASP) (to join the 75th Ranger Regiment) a special Ranger Fitness Test is conducted for all age groups, which is separate from the Army Physical Fitness Test. The test is pass/fail and involves push-ups, sit-ups, chin-ups, and a five-mile run. Push-ups and sit-ups are to be performed within 2 minutes. Pax also completed another element of Bar Or test – the dips. Below is the entire Bar Or in case some PAX would like to challenge themselves.

    “Bar Or” – The official IDF fitness test
    1) Pull – Ups (palms facing out) – Regular infantry are required to do at least 7 with a 7 kilo weighted vest.

    2) Dips – Regular infantry are required to complete at least 11. (without weighted vest)

    3) Trap Bar Jump Squats – 7 reps of 60 kilo

    4) Sprints – 300 meter sprint ( usually performed after the 3 kilometer run) Sprinting in a straight line 150 meters then turning and sprinting back another 150 meters. Regular infantry must complet it under 50 seconds.

    5) 3000 meter run (1.86 miles) – Regular infantry must complete it under 15:33 minutes in basic training and under 14:30 in advanced training.

    Back to flag, COT.

  • Run Cajun Run Mumblechatter, and Teethchatter – from Ballz Deep

    Another Thursday, another 5k. The saddle is starting to feel familiar again after the holiday hiatus. The usual suspects arrived at 5:15. Although we miss #The Hammer as he prepares for the Louisiana Marathon. He will return soon!

    Jose 10k, Steve, Shooter, and I rounded out the group on this cold Thursday morning. Warmups were:
    10 count Ass Grabbers
    10 count side straddle hops
    10 count arm circles, front/back
    10 count windmills

    An “Elevens” modification was used to honor 01-09 before the normal running route:
    1 mountain climber, 9 merkins… 2 mtn climbers, 8 merkins, and so forth. 45 pushups total helped get the blood viscosity higher.
    Mumblechatter included learning the great Run Cajun Run group names. Talked outdoor sports with Shooter. Talked the merits of deermeat burritos, how to justify buying a boat off love for fish tacos, why Adam Sandler never picked Steve for pickup basketball in LA, and how unlikely the Steelers are to beat the Ravens Saturday. #Shooter led the way on a double 3.8 mile loop around Hermitage Court. That, plus the “elevens” modification had us return with 2 minutes to spare. Run Cajun Run announcement, and COT to finish. Plenty of hearty mumblechatter to distract us from the teethchatter.

  • KISS with Crucial Taunt – from Jose10k

    Late Friday evening, when everyone else was busy pretending their weekend plans were too important to sweat it out, I decided to keep it “simple stupid” and crank out a Murph at the marsh. Because why not combine the serenity of nature with a borderline masochistic workout, right?

    We kicked things off with a quick warm-up around the flag—mostly to loosen up, but also to stall and hope for a miracle excuse to skip leg day. No such luck. Straight to the marsh we moseyed, where we proceeded to grind through 20 sets of 5 pull-ups, 10 push-ups, and 20 squats.

    Now, here’s where the comedy gold begins. You’ve got Bird over there doing jump squats with a full spin like he’s auditioning for Cirque du Soleil, and Zoolander showing off with thumb-only pull-ups and one-legged inverted Bulgarian split squats. The rest of us? Oh, we were doing our own kind of heavy lifting—debating whether Guns N’ Roses could out-mosh New Kids on the Block, swapping embarrassing stories about our ‘90s crushes, and contemplating if VH1’s Behind the Music counts as cardio.

    After wrapping up the Murph and rethinking life choices, we moved on to some Lt. Dan lunge-walking—because who doesn’t love a good Forrest Gump reference in the middle of quad destruction? We finally ran into Grundy, who had been “enthusiastically” searching for us by running laps around the lakefront. (Sure, buddy. We believe you.)

    Stop signs became our new nemeses, where we busted out 20 squats at each one. At the second-to-last stop, we switched it up with two rounds of 20 penguins and 20 LBCs because nothing screams camaraderie like flapping around like aquatic birds. A few brave souls sprinted to the flag to finish strong while the rest of us casually redefined what counts as a “sprint.”

    We wrapped up with C.O.T., where Russo prayed us out, undoubtedly asking for divine intervention to heal our sore muscles and to forgive Bird and Zoolander for showing us all up.

    Thanks for letting me lead, gentlemen. Next time, let’s try something harder—like keeping a straight face when Zoolander breaks out those one-legged shenanigans again.

  • Hot Sauce, Bushwhackers, and Catapults: A Wet and Wild Morning at the A1C – from Jose10k

    So there I was, ready to tackle the day in a parking garage, wetter than a swimsuit calendar in monsoon season but warmer than yesterday’s frozen hellscape. Just as I was prepping for some solo misery at 5:14 AM, Fletch rolls in like a spicy savior, hot sauce in hand. This wasn’t just any hot sauce, though—it was Fletch’s special blend, the kind that burns twice, if you know what I mean. Naturally, I knew it had to go to Bushwhacker, the only guy who won’t whine about getting left out of the heat.

    And just as I’m cursing the heavens for starting without him, who do we see rolling up in his signature white chariot? Bushwhacker himself, arriving late but still managing to make an entrance. Hot sauce exchange complete, we got to work.

    Since it was January 10th and football is life, we honored the playoffs with a First-and-Ten special: a brutal round of 11s, featuring burpees and copperhead squats on opposite ends of the driest concrete we could find. Between sets, we experimented with various ways to move—sprinting, sidestepping, karaoke-style, bear crawling, and then, thanks to Bushwhacker’s brilliant idea, catapulting. Turns out, launching yourself repeatedly down a parking garage isn’t the best move unless you’re training for the Olympic Dizzy Decathlon. Three attempts in, Bushwhacker was down for the count, but hey, at least he left us all laughing.

    We wrapped it up with a trip to the spa—aka, the driest spot for some Mary. We crunched through LBCs, flapped like penguins, and topped it off with the infamous wife pleasers (a crowd favorite for both fitness and innuendo).

    By the end, I had to bounce, leaving the rest to round-robin their way through the last few minutes. COT brought it home, and I thanked the crew for letting me lead—a morning filled with sweat, spice, and more questionable decisions than a college frat party.

    Remember: never catapult the length of a parking garage, but always show up with hot sauce.

  • Hot Sauce, Bushwhackers, and Catapults: A Wet and Wild Morning at the A1C – from Jose10k

    So there I was, ready to tackle the day in a parking garage, wetter than a swimsuit calendar in monsoon season but warmer than yesterday’s frozen hellscape. Just as I was prepping for some solo misery at 5:14 AM, Fletch rolls in like a spicy savior, hot sauce in hand. This wasn’t just any hot sauce, though—it was Fletch’s special blend, the kind that burns twice, if you know what I mean. Naturally, I knew it had to go to Bushwhacker, the only guy who won’t whine about getting left out of the heat.

    And just as I’m cursing the heavens for starting without him, who do we see rolling up in his signature white chariot? Bushwhacker himself, arriving late but still managing to make an entrance. Hot sauce exchange complete, we got to work.

    Since it was January 10th and football is life, we honored the playoffs with a First-and-Ten special: a brutal round of 11s, featuring burpees and copperhead squats on opposite ends of the driest concrete we could find. Between sets, we experimented with various ways to move—sprinting, sidestepping, karaoke-style, bear crawling, and then, thanks to Bushwhacker’s brilliant idea, catapulting. Turns out, launching yourself repeatedly down a parking garage isn’t the best move unless you’re training for the Olympic Dizzy Decathlon. Three attempts in, Bushwhacker was down for the count, but hey, at least he left us all laughing.

    We wrapped it up with a trip to the spa—aka, the driest spot for some Mary. We crunched through LBCs, flapped like penguins, and topped it off with the infamous wife pleasers (a crowd favorite for both fitness and innuendo).

    By the end, I had to bounce, leaving the rest to round-robin their way through the last few minutes. COT brought it home, and I thanked the crew for letting me lead—a morning filled with sweat, spice, and more questionable decisions than a college frat party.

    Remember: never catapult the length of a parking garage, but always show up with hot sauce.

  • Proposal Q – from Kilo

    YHC woke up this morning to a weather report from his soon to be best man who said “it’s freezing rain, are we doing this?” The reply “of course. F3 is rain or shine.” Today being YHC’s second Q and the day of the big ask, decided to keep it simple and do another Mogadishu Mile to remember the fallen of Blackhawk Down. It was rainy but warm and 9 HiMs started out for the warmarama and then to the thang.

    Pick up a rock, get to the gazebo

    4 rounds:
    19 ground to overhead
    19 front squats
    19 push-ups (one hand on the rock, then switch so 38)
    15 burpees
    run a 1/4 mile.

    All this was done with smiles and joy and the promise to show up this afternoon and try to talk some sense into my future fiancé. It’s a great day to have a great day, gentlemen.

    COT and Announcements as well as a welcome to FNG, Freaky Fast who drove 12 hours yesterday for the occasion.

  • The Levee Will Keep You Warm – from Fracsac

    Pinewood rallied the Pax the night before and encouraged a strong showing at Okwata. 8 Pax heeded the call including YHC.
    Upon a quick check of the Q sheet at 0528 YHC noticed it was still empty, and by 0529 Okwata had a Q.

    Conditions: 35 degrees and dry with a cold NE wind bringing the feel like temps into the 20s.

    Brief disclaimer with a mosey to Canal for the warmup.

    The thang:

    11s up and over the levee in the bike lane on Canal. Hand release merkins on one side and burpees on the other, always stopping at the top for 5 x SSH.

    Thanks for coming out and keeping Okwata going!

  • Burpeepalooza: Heisenberg would’ve loved this one… – from Bolt

    It went like this: YHC showed up to the last “chapter” of the Tu pamphlet (book) club…sans BD where Boo-Boo remarked he had been slacking which was interpreted as a cry for accountability and who was I to not oblige!? Space Cowboy unwittingly dragged me into MABA Monday so I offered to Q Wednesday with a promise to deliver the RDA of burpees, penance for not doing anything Tu, and accountability to all pax posting.
    The gloom came after a short night of sleep and a very cold, windy morning to accompany my bad attitude and sore body (courtesy of Space Cowboy); the pax were counting on me and guilt/obligation brought me here. The playlist demanded what we’d do—Burpeepalooza!
    Warmorama with Mosey to JPAS, Rapper’s Delight (of course): Abe SLOWgodas, OH/Seal/FAC/RAC, Self Love, LSS, Willie Mays Hayes, SSH, Sampson Stretch, finish with 10 burpees IC even though the Q called 5 (do what I do/say during, not before the action…)
    The Thang: A group of songs requiring burpees on a certain word/phrase with different body movements for each song. Leveling up burpees between songs to honor Heisenberg. All pax did at least 155 burpees (playlist below), mosey back to flag and burpee on the six. COT