F3 New Orleans

Author: Rudy

  • Oy Vey: An Unorthodox Morning at Granny’s – from Steve

    “Saturday, Donny, is Shabbos, the Jewish day of rest. That means I don’t work, I don’t drive a car, I don’t lift cinderblocks or crawl like a goddamn bear, and I sure as shit don’t do kraken burpees!”

    -Walter Sobchak (paraphrased)

    Well, at least I tried. YHC thought maybe a pre-beatdown announcement on slack could lure in the likes of Zoolander or Shooter, but alas, they did not take the bait. No bigge, though – the Granny regulars were there, including Granny’s favorite son, Russo, who has (somewhat) recovered from throwing out his back a month ago.

    Now, not wanting to tarnish his enduring reputation for being late after a string of on-time appearances, Cowbell showed up this morning exactly five minutes after we began. What’s so crazy, and I think Hammer has pointed this out before, is that he is so precisely five minutes late every time. He’s got it down to a science, really. I mean, you’d think the guy could just set his alarm clock exactly five minutes earlier and that’d be that.

    Anyway, as he sidled up next to Jose and ignored whatever warmup exercise we were doing, he mentioned that he had a really good excuse for being late this time (and boy did he): Orthodox Jews. We’ll just let that one sit for a moment.

    Warmorama: Torso twists, self love, arm circles, windmills, side straddle hops, toe touches, 10x merkins.

    Thang: First up today, a mosey to the lakefront, stopping at each intersection for a set of 10x leg, 20x chest, and 30x core exercises. Exercises were as follows:

    Squats
    Merkins
    Flutters

    Lunges
    Diamond Merks
    LBCs

    Jump Squats
    Explosive Merks
    Freddie mercs

    Star jumps
    Hand release merkins
    Crunchy Frogs

    Sister Mary’s
    T-merkins
    Leg Raises

    Jump Knee Tucks
    Staggered Merkins
    Heel Pulses

    Before Jose could continue kvetching about helping his uncle with a stuck trailer, or about the number of merkins that were rapidly piling up at this point (130), Cowbell elaborated that some of his biggest (and best) clients are Orthodox Jews from Brooklyn. While detailing some of the interesting quirks of the orthodox, he assured us that he was a man of integrity (yeah, sure, a mensch) and that he loved those guys. In fact, he is often confused for being an orthodox Jew himself! But man, those guys sure send a lot of emails after shabbos…

    Alright, so once we reached the sea wall, it was the usual leg work:
    Step ups L x15
    Step ups R x15
    Freaks x15
    Bulgarians L x15
    Bulgarians R x15
    Derkins x15

    Then a short mosey to rips for 5 calf raises on each step before heading back to Granny’s, alternating between standard mosey and sprints every other block. COT where Hammer prayed us out, thanking God for all of our blessings and asking to open Cowbell’s heart to his people. YHC had to leave shortly thereafter, as the guys stood around discussing the soft white underbelly of America and, trust me, you don’t want to be a part of that conversation. Thank you men for the opportunity to get stronger alongside you, always appreciated!

  • If Not Me Then Who? – from Fracsac

    YHC got a text from the Site Q late last night that he was Down Range and asked if YHC could take it. Being tired and sore, the answer wanted to be no. Then YHC remembered a saying. “If not me, then who?”

    5 Pax for the Wally sprint. Mile warmup, followed by the ladder of 100m up to 400m with a 100m recovery between each. Up and down until 0615.

    COT

  • Monday morning at The Scrum – from PVC

    Warm o rama
    Low slow squat
    Abe vigoda
    Peter Parker
    Parker Peter
    Hill billy
    Imperial walker
    Self love
    Butt kickers

    Mosey

    Step ups

    Mosey

    Lunge
    8 count body builder
    Bear crawl
    Big boy sit up
    Lunge
    Flutter kicks
    Bear crawl
    Squat
    Run backwards

    Mosey

    Dora style
    8 count body builders
    While partner ran up the stairs at JP performing art building

    Mosey

    Coupons
    Overhead press, bench press , curls
    Dips

    Coolorama
    Low slow squat
    Abe vigoda
    Peter Parker
    Self love
    Butt kickers

    COT

  • Dollar Dollar Bills Y’all – from Akbar

    Not quite related to the Wu Tang Clan song, but some were found on the Mosey this morning by Jose 10k. Good to have him back after a short trip to the beach. Just 3 in the Monday gloom this morning, but 3 is good company.

    WU SSH, Grass Grabbers, High Knees, But Kicks, Arm Circles, Self-Love, Down Dog.

    Mosey 2 blocks stopping along the way for 10 IC Copperhead Squat, Lunges, Bouncy Squats, and Monkey Humper.

    THANG – Each man cycles through stations with Tabata, 30s work, 15s rest. Then Run 2 blocks working legs x 10 IC. Rinse and Repeat

    Station 1: Block Curls
    Station 2: Renegade Row Merkin with bricks
    Station 3: Single Arm ISO Shoulder Press with 20 lb Dumbbell

    Mosey 2 blocks stopping along the way for 10 IC Copperhead Squat, Lunges, Bouncy Squats, and Monkey Humper.

    Station 1: Skull Crushers
    Station 2: Brick Shoulder Flys
    Station 3: Dumbell 1 arm Snatch to Merkin

    Mosey 2 blocks stopping along the way for 10 IC Copperhead Squat, Lunges, Bouncy Squats, and Monkey Humper.

    Station 1: Good Mornings holding Block
    Station 2: Brick one arm Bicep Curl to Shoulder Thruster
    Station 3: Dumbbell Chest Press

    Mary
    Little Manny Crunches x10 IC

    Count, Name, and Jose 10k prayed us out

  • Sad Clown Send Off at Sweatybells – from Bolt

    YHC jumped on the Q sheet Uptown to celebrate my 2 year MANniversary right where it started, prompting a text from King Kong: apparently Uptowners not only dislike leaving their zip code, they also dislike using the Q sheet (check it out if u don’t believe me or is there a double secret Q sheet among that clique—one wonders!?)
    I mulled over how to best honor a few of the HIMs I’ve encountered along the 24 months since Gabby FINALLY convinced me to post after a couple years of EHing (I ran out of excuses, knew I needed a change, and had just listened to Dredd describe me at minutes 22:42-29:30 in the “What is F3 interview” the week of my first post). Gathering at the front of Audubon park and meeting a couple guys quickly turned into a “mosey” to Touchdown Jesus, led by Kong Kong where we stopped and began exercising in a circle within which I quickly became gassed and modified everything yet finished nothing. Then Gabby informed me that was the “warm up” to which I thought, “U gotta b FU@#ing kidding me!? I have no business being here.” More mosey, exercises, modification, and realization (that I couldn’t do this yet needed this).

    Fast forward: WarmOrama Rapper’s Delight edition. The Thang: Carry bells from flag to first zoo parking row.
    Rudy has creatively used numbers to drive his Qs (this day I chose to follow: 6/5/24=6 exercises (BLIMPS with Bells, except Merkins), 5 movements between each letter, stopping at each subsequent row of parking (farmer carry each side, tricep press 2x, goblet carry), and 24 months of F3=reps of each exercise. Almonaster championed and sustained the first F3 NOLA afternoon workout, pushing himself: B for burpees but Man Maker style to honor an extra push.
    Triple Shift has been the consummate Form Police: M for Merkins done as time under tension in his honor (3 count in mission impossible up the four, return).
    Upon carrying bells back to first parking row we circled up for favorite bell exercise contributions from the PAX, called either OYO or in cadence for 24 reps: Gabby/curl-OHP-tricep press=1, Charmin/Your Mom’s, King Kong/KB swings, Strings/squat thrusters. Back to flag and finish with 24 burpees which were much harder than the first 24: gassed and grateful to ALL F3 NOLA PAX! COT—breaky.

  • Return of the Catship – from Catfish

    Feeling zesty out at the Mothership this morning with 6 PAX.

    Started at the peristyle with a warmup:

    Abe Vigodas x 10 (in cadence)
    Grass Grabbers x 10 (in cadence)
    SSH x 30 (in cadence)
    Imperial Squat Walkers x 20 (in cadence)
    8-Counts x 15 (in cadence)
    Peter Parkers x 20 (in cadence)
    Plank Jacks x 20 (in cadence)
    Floyd Mayweathers x 20 (in cadence)
    Parker Peters x 20 (in cadence)
    Hold Plank, then low plank

    Back to feet for a round of the Motivator (counted down from 10), then grabbed some columns for
    calf raises x 20 (in cadence)
    tib raises x 20 (in cadence)
    SSH x 20 (in cadence) to keep the heart rate up

    Moseyed to benches for

    Dips x 20 (in cadence)
    Rocky Balboas x 20 (in cadence)
    Derkins x 20 (in cadence)
    Irkins x 20 (in cadence)
    SSH x 20 (in cadence) to keep the heart rate up

    Moseyed to the grass over by the museum for round of Killer B’s (bear crawls, burpees, broad jumps). PAX bear crawled two tree lengths, then broad jumped back, stopping for three burpees every 5 broad jumps. Did one round, then did Jack Webbs up to seven. Did another round of Killer B’s, then coninued Jack Webbs from eight to twelve. Did another round of Killer B’s, then got on sixes for

    LBTs x 20 (in cadence)
    Big Boys x 15 (in cadence)
    Not So Lazy Boys for time (10 seconds each position, right, center, then left)
    Dying Cockroaches x 15(in cadence)
    Hello Dollys x 15 (in cadence)

    Started the mosey back to the flag, stopped just before the bridge for another round of 8-counts x 10 (in cadence).

    Got to flags zone, then did some more of the Motivators for the remaining 2 minutes or so.

    CoT, coffeeteria @ PJs. Fun one!

  • We saw the sign – from Percleator

    Warmuparama
    SSH, AV, AC FW/BW, CP, High knees butt kicks, IW, grass grabbers

    First thang: catch me if you can
    One lap around green at the chimney, partner performed 15 Freddie Mercurys while other partner bear crawled, catch up to partner and switch places. Second lap was lunge walk paired with 5 burpees

    Mosey to thunderdome for thang 2:
    YHC has noticed a lack of a certain genre of music for beatdowns. It’s hard to name this category but the closest thing might be “meme songs” or a “torture track”. Its the kind of song that is fun at first (in a slightly ironic sense) but will wear on you with time.
    Song 1: What’s up by Four Non Blondes
    Squats for the duration of the song. YHC called out tempo. Started out with slow 4 count squats (4 counts down 4 counts up) at different points in song YHC called out 2 and 2 count, 3 and 1, then into singles. YHC got excited and called out jump squats before the song hit its climax.
    Song 2: The sign by Ace of Base
    Start with crunchy frogs. When song changes to verse do mountain climbers, chorus do Australian sweat angels, for breakdown section back to crunchy frogs and repeat until end of song.
    YHC is of the belief that an hour of this song on repeat qualifies as cruel and unusual. No man could retain his sanity in that scenario.

    Last thang: BOMBS
    Team up 50 burpees
    75 Overhead claps from people’s chair
    100 Mercans
    150 Big Boys
    200 Squats
    The PAX pushed hard and almost finished but YHC called it and got back to flag a couple minutes late.

    Sadly no time for Mary.
    COT and Kilo sprayed us out

    Thank you for the opportunity to lead, always a pleasure with you guys
    SYITG

  • Misty Mountain – 6-4-2022 – from Almonaster

    First Saturday in June!
    PAX:

    – Jingle Vader
    – King Kong
    – Douille
    – subprime
    – Chiquita
    – Landing Strip
    – Squeal
    – Popalock
    – Almonaster

    Mosey to Palm Circle.

    Warmup:
    SSH – 20 IC
    Arm Circles -10 IC
    Reverse Arm Circles – 10 IC
    Imperial Walkers – 10 IC
    The Morpheus – 10 IC
    Balance on 1 foot for 10 seconds – each
    Grass Grabbers – 10 IC
    Windmills – 10 IC
    Mountain Climbers – 10 IC

    The Thang:

    Mosey to the base of the Mountain.

    Run backwards up all ramps.
    All in echo count.

    Stop at 2nd Floor.
    Merkins – 20 IC
    Squats – 20 IC
    LBC’s – 20 IC

    Stop at 4th Floor
    Incline Merkins – 20 IC
    Right Leg lunges on Wheel Stops – 20 IC
    LBT’S – 20 IC

    Stop at 6th Floor
    Decline Merkins – 20 IC
    Left leg lunges on Wheel Stops – 20 IC
    Freddie Mercury’s – 20 IC

    Top of Mountain
    Dips – 20 IC
    Squat jumps – 20 IC
    Flutter Kicks – 20 IC

    Mosey to the benches
    Right Leg power-ups – 15 IC
    Spider man wall crawl Incline merkin – 10 each side IC
    Left leg power-ups – 15 IC

    Mary
    Mosey back to Palm Circle
    Douille’s – 20 IC

    Back to flag!
    Thanks for the opportunity to lead!

  • Sweatin’ at the Krak of Dawn – from Steve

    Conditions this past Tuesday morning were such that you could step outside, do 15 side straddle hops, walk right back in to your well air conditioned home and you’d still look like you’d just given Russo an overly long bear hug (or perhaps engaged in some sort of scissoring activity with Jose). So a 45 minutes beatdown? Forget about it, we’d all be dripping in Shooter-esque proportions.

    It was no surprise then, when a sweaty, shirtless figure emerged from the shadows heading eastbound on the trace at around 0500. What was a surprise, though, was that this guy was neither an F3 dude nor part of Garfield’s crew. Furthering the mystery was that he was riding one bike while guiding a second, passenger-less bike. He seemed a little jumpy when he reached the bathrooms and disappeared for a bit, only to then re-emerge and make a very determined beeline for Hammer the second his truck pulled in. And although Hammer had probably only awakened 15 minutes prior to this moment, he unsurprisingly had enough wits about him to easily deflect the man’s urgent request for a ride to Lacombe.

    Cowbell then rolled in (completely unaware of the above) and once it was clear that it’d only be three of us, we got down to it. The usual warmorama before moseying west to the tunnel (and leaving my own bike behind, reasoning that it’d probably be difficult for one man to successfully steer three bikes to Lacombe without some help).

    Originally I had planned to stop at each intersection on the way for 10x kraken burpees, but with conversation flowing (and not wanting to immediately sour anyone on their decision to post this morning), YHC filed that one away for the journey back.

    Once at the tunnel, we did a round of B.O.M.B’s, with a backwards jog up the far end ramp between each set:

    B – x10 Burpees
    O – x20 Overhead claps (IC)
    M – x30 Merkins
    B – x40 Big Boy’s
    S – x50 Sister Mary’s (1 is 1)

    It finally felt like the right time to drop the krakens on them, so we knocked out one set right there at the base of the tunnel before starting the mosey back, completing a second set once we had emerged from the wooded area.

    Took a quick break at the bus depot to get the usual leg work in:

    12x step ups
    12 jump overs
    12x step ups
    12 jump overs
    12x bulgarians
    12x freak nasties
    12x bulgarians
    12x freak nasties

    Slow mosey over to Lafitte to complete the kraken trifecta (at this point, I think we were all wishing Russo a quick recovery so he could take the next Granny Q and relieve me of this bizarre affinity for krakens), and then finally back to the flag for some Mary. (Oh, and one last round of x20 merkins to bring our total to a nice, even 150.).

    COT where we prayed for those injured or lost in the boating accident the night before and gave thanks for another day on this earth. And thank you gents for the opportunity to lead, for putting up with my Q’s, and for getting me out there – YHC certainly wouldn’t do it without the accountability.

    Also, Jose – I essentially wrote this backblast for you. Since you’ve been posting 4-5 times a week now that school’s out, and you’re always hounding me for backblasts, I figured you would appreciate me finally writing one for the only beatdown you didn’t attend.

  • Speedy run over here, or NOT!!! – from Shooter

    With the Q sheet quite empty, site Q stepped up to take charge of 4 pax and just to confirm yes Speedy was really there this morning sir Wacker… Decided to change up things this morning, after of course we completed our warmup of 10IC self love, Abe Vogadas, and Cowbell leg swings and also 15IC Butt kicks and SSH.. We ran along East causeway approach to Golden shores entrance and completed 2 loops around the neighborhood.. On our return Speedy felt a little rebellious and decided to run along in the middle of East causeway approach as the PAX instructed multiple times to return to the shoulder but he simply wasn’t having it, so thankfully there was little traffic to contend with and avoid. Returning back to the AO we circled up by the equipment to utilize the pull-up bar for our cycling as we focused on Merkins, core and legs through 3 rounds. Each PAX completed 5 pull-up’s per round while the remainder of the PAX completed alternating staggered left/right Merkins, Diamond merkins, mission impossible and regular.
    Round 2 was core with Crunchy frogs, (while Cowbell did pull-ups just to get at him), flutter kicks , 💯s, alternating elbow to knees left/right, lil Manny crunches. Final round squats, jump squats, lunges, reverse lunges and AlGores..

    Waterpic graciously prayed out the PAX..

    Appreciate the post gentlemen and until the next Gloom 👍🏼👊🏼✌🏼!!