F3 New Orleans

Author: Rudy

  • Be a Daddy, Not a Diddy – from America’s Best

    The beatdown usually starts with a small idea. YHC wanted to emphasize form today. The dictum “Slow is Smooth, Smooth is Fast” came to mind.
    YHC learned of this phrase from “cool dad” Phil Dunphy. Apparently the phrase subsequently became so prolific I believe the military even adopted it.
    Pre-Father’s Day miracle #1: Didn’t even realize I was creating a (Pre-)Father’s Day Beatdown.
    It’s probably known by now that YHC has an unhealthy compulsion to inject some kind of musical trivia into every beatdown. For this one, each song would have a commonality which the PAX would have to discern at the end of the beatdown.

    But first: Standard-issue Warmarama, with one addition
    SSH
    Windmills
    Imperial Walkers
    Mountain Climbers
    Arm Circles
    Willie Mays Hayes
    Top of the Merkin to Ya (not Blades of Steel) – programmed exclusively to help rehab YHC’s shoulder

    Quick mosey around The Center Formerly Known as The Lion’s Den while we heard “Intro” by The XX – only a 2 minute jam, so some sprinting was necessary.

    Prelude to The Thang:
    Originally planned as a Dora, YHC somehow found “All About the Benjamins” on a page I had saved from the Exicon, so I changed it from Dora to AATB… but I had already formed my playlist, and while Puff Daddy fits into the Father’s Day theme, “All About the Benjamins” would definitely not fit the music theme (and we won’t mention P-Diddy’s recent transgressions). I almost changed the entire musical theme around this song, but ultimately decided to keep the list as planned…

    Pre-Father’s Day Miracle #2: The song I had already chosen as the first song (originally for the Dora), was relatively unknown to me … and it contains the lyric “All About The Benjamins”

    On to the Thang: All About the Benjamins setup as 25 SLOW 6-count Curls, 25 lunge walks, then 25 Arnold Schwartzenager (8-count) Squats. Bear crawl back, rinse and repeat until we have done 100 of each.
    As Yankee Jeaux noted, the bear crawls seemed considerably easier after the super-tempo squats. That extra stretch actually does something. The importance of proper form, boys. Make a note of it.
    Not surprisingly, this part of the beatdown took a good amount of time. Our entertainment was not so much the music itself, but Paradox’s guesses on the music theme, as well as the artists. “Songs ODs smoked weed to in college?” stood out to me. Also of note, Dox may have heard the names Peter Gabriel and Phil Collins somehow associated with the 80s and 90s. Or maybe he is just trying to hurt Goose.

    We finished that up with just enough time for the gamified mosey around The CFKATLD. Except that it wasn’t a mosey, but a sprint with 5 Arnold Merkins at each stop, unless someone could identify the common thread amongst the songs. The catch: first, you have to identify the song/artist to unlock the your chance to guess the theme. We stopped at the first cone while YHC played a clip of Intro by the XX… Popeye correctly ID’d the band, but at that point did not have a guess for the theme. So we sprinted to the next cone and did the merkins while we heard a clip of The End of the Contender by Everything Everything… no one knew this one, so we sprinted/merkined again. This continued through songs by Django Django, JR JR, and Man Man. Somewhere in there Enron voiced the answer to the theme, but no one had yet unlocked any band name in order to make that guess, so on we suffered (YHC may have put the more obscure bands at the beginning by design). Finally Goose saved us, identifying Mr. Mister, and completing the second answer. We got to mosey the rest of the way while skipping past Talk Talk, Duran Duran, and the Ting Tings. Thankfully we did not have to listen to the Go-Gos.
    T-Claps to Enron for remembering to grab the cones.

    We arrived back at the flags for a quick Mary. YHC led us through some Wheezy Jeffersons before passing the baton to Goose, who apparently wanted to showcase YHC’s lack of coordination by ordering Dr. W’s. And there was much flailing.

    COT

    Always an honor and pleasure to lead.

    SYITG,
    America’s Best

    AB Sees: The Hand of God in everything. Even in Everything Everything.
    I mentioned some “miracles” in this blast, which is probably hyperbole, but I think it underlines the fact that God’s hand is truly in everything we experience. So from big miracles (like YHC finally becoming a Father a few years ago) to everyday “God Winks,” it’s important to acknowledge even the smallest things as gifts from God.

  • Dadlympics 2024 – from Paradox

    776 BC is widely recognized as the year of the first Olympic games. It began with an annual foot race, a stadion, and blossomed into the over 200 competitions we have today. Origin stories vary but many agree the race began as a simple challenge between friends…or rivals (perhaps both). Many Greek men of this era were very practiced at coalescing into groups at a predetermined area, in the wee dawn hours, one leading calisthenia while the others followed. In Greece, just as in F3 , It only takes a few meetings for the bonds to build, then the comparing of athletic feats follows. As one can imagine, these groups consisted of a variety of characters from the community and YHCs research led to the discovery of ancient sea scrolls depicting an early gathering (meticulously translated to Redneck) as such :

    Upon the Peltchaneus thoroughfare these men gathered:

    Maximus Goosicus -aged learned philosopher, forged in the wisdom of deka kids but the fire within steadily burning though know one truly knows are the flames of his heart or of his bowels?

    Valvenus Saefetyfurst- arriving in the days highest technology chariot. He considers his bronze edition the best, if he only knew his descendants would go platinum and beyond.

    Cuzin Lillius de Punisher-
    beard so thick and luxurious he regarded all face shields as the highest insult. Teaches in the vernacular of Yee Yee.

    Cardinalus of Thebodux- constantly boasting his athletics feats were better served in the Aegean Sea, he would be the origin of all future Olympic swimming. It would take a few years for the sport to gain popularity but it would take millennia to remove his fartsack reputation.

    Montanius de Wilford – returning to glory after many pickled countries were conquered. Only Hippocrates could explain how a 1 day knee injury in February led to 46 pickle tournaments and zero beatdowns but we’ll leave that to the medical historians.

    2,800 years later another group of men would establish another great tradition of athletic excellence. This one to honor the physical, mental , and spiritual battle of being a dad.

    Welcome to the Dadlympics

    Duke
    Light the torch and Roll the beautiful footage !

    Warmup
    9 pax for an intimate Saturday setting and the only thing you really need to know about warmups is Goose unveiled The Fire Within. The remaining warmup period was spent sneaking looks while Goose shook his head and said “hey my eyes are up here buddy! “
    Like a true work of classical art you can appreciate a different beauty with every glance. Huge shout to Gooses M for finding this diamond and allowing it to serve the masses.

    YHC then announced that this day we would honor the duties of a father in 3 parts of Dadlympic glory.

    1. The Track
    2. The Field
    3. The Battleground

    Opening Ceremony
    Indian Run to EDW track with the “torch “ (ole hickory bar)
    Last man drop to 5 torch raises

    Thang 1 —-TRACK

    It doesn’t take long to learn lesson number one as a father…. that your kids are stone cold crazy and programmed to run themselves into direct harm.
    So our first feat would be a “catch me if you can”
    -P1 5 burpees, P2 bur until caught
    -complete 1 track lap

    This crew was barely ruffled and Valves whoop was still logging a sleep HR.

    Next we needed to switch gears into the fatherhood mental toughness test. Balance the budget? Practice a parking lot confrontation? No my friends, we had to go into the deepest waters of Dadversity …the dad joke. Goose had been training us since mid May with his legendary 300 plus merkins dad joke mile and YHC wanted to gift him a few chances to flex his talents and test his troops.

    YHC would give 1/2 of the dad joke then we would fartlek our way around the track with time to think and taste our own brand.
    The answers were then revealed and merkins were used as reward or punishment.

    Here’s a sample of my fave 3 :

    -I have a joke about trickle down economics….(pause and heavy breathing) …but 99% of you won’t get it.

    -I used to run a dating service for chickens…but I was struggling to make hens meet

    – Why couldn’t the produce manager make it to work …he could drive but he didn’t Avacado .

    Goose set the tone with early recognition of ole Phillipe Flop (a Frenchman’s sandals) and Lil Cuz consistently sprinkled in multiple timely assists including a full length dissertation on poultry pronouns. Valve thought alot about the lack of quality neighbors and PCPs in this region. Tana seemed to enjoy the cardio without the heavy burden of paddle sponsorships and endorsement obligations.

    We swapped the fartlek transport for burpee broad jumps (to simulate jumping living room legos) and continued the competition.

    Ending with this doozy….

    -You used to be able to get air at the gas station for free, now it’s a dollar …guess that’s inflation for you .

    A mosey was necessary just to clear the air of the stench of a joke of that caliber .
    The heart can only withstand so much.

    Thang 2—Field

    A dad must be able to flex his dad strength with a legendary single car load trip. The goal here is to show the other dads on the beach where the straps were digging into your wrist so they will burn with jealous rage.

    Carry the Beach Equipment

    P1 garner carry through the “crowd”
    P2 flutter kicks

    The most important of the field events involved practicing to throw your child into that dizzying hybrid of joy and fear.

    Toss your kid to infinity and beyond
    P1 Thrusters
    P2 coupon piggy back ride (nice edit on a YHC miscalculation)

    The Thang Finale —-Battle Field

    American Dadiator

    Rules :

    3 cones in a rough triangle (non Bermuda because I’m still mad) with a bucket of water balloons at each .
    2 pax with a 2.0 defender at each station.
    Center hoola hoop with 10 tennis balls

    Goal is to be the team with the most tennis balls at the end of the game .
    -2.0 defend the nest with pool noodle (3 burpees if hit)
    -5 merkins to get a tennis ball
    -If you get hit with a balloon you owe 3 burpees and you drop your tennis ball
    -10 minutes on the clock

    Teams :
    TanaCuz (picachu )
    ValveDox (gecko)
    Office of Parish Support (Duke)

    Notes :
    – very firm water balloons dont burst and become rubber riot control pellets , there are tattoos to prove it
    – The 2.0 defended nests with deadly accuracy.
    – Several alliances were formed, broken , betrayed, reformed and in general I think we covered 1000s of years of world history with balloons and pool noodles.

    When the smoke cleared Lil Cuz and Tana took the W by one tennis ball thanks to a late assault on the office parish support castle.

    Gear up and back to the flag

    YHC awarded the first Golden Dad to Lil Cuz for his overall performance in the battle, sharp dad joke knowledge and outstanding attitude to laugh and display joy when faced with burpees in soaking wet socks.

    Goose awarded YHC with The Fire Within for cooking with excessive shenanigans when today’s recipe only called for mild shenanigans.

    Lifetime YhC achievement list update :
    1: children being born
    2: being awarded TFW

    COT and Cardinal prayed us out

    At the end of the day as Fathers we are preparing our sons and daughters for the spiritual battle of real life. God provides us many tools of both offense and defense. And just like in our ballooned battle today it doesn’t stop each day from feeling chaotic. It doesn’t stop us from failing when we feel so close to a victory. In fact it can often feel like being busted in the neck with a water balloon after sprinting 50 yards only to do 3 burpees and try again . But if we can stop in the midst of the battle and see His provisions all around us and if we can trust Him, then we can lean on what He gives us. Looking back on the last few years I am truly grateful for the crew He has provided in F3. I hope you all enjoyed a day honoring your fight as Dadiator and I look forward to struggling along side you.

    See you at the ‘25 games

    Dox

  • S&M…&R – from Bolt

    Three stretched, three ran and all six were accountable.

  • Some Classics and a Mystery Stick – from Goose

    YHC knew that the Mystery Stick would need to find its way into today’s workout somehow. It had also been a while since we’d taken a dive into some of the foundational routines that had been buried somewhere at the back of the equipment closet.

    The hook-stick was left conspicuously at the foot of the flags, and a warmup of the predictables ensued.

    YHC then called for an Indian Run. Just a regular Indian Run to get the heart pumping and the system nice and waked. What was new, however, was the path. We took the new road and zigged and zagged our way back to the flag, swim-moving around the road-closed signes and cones on the brand new roads between future home sites. We were like Lewis and Clark forging our way through what would soon be a bustling nation, guided only by Indians who prefer to not be in the back of any single-file lines.

    Once back at the flag, YHC grabbed Bose’, Sr. and the stick and moved into the grass. The stick served, once again, as an excellent speaker/phone prop, and YHC introduced another foundational routine, the 10 min Burpee EMOM: 10 burpees, Every Minute on the Minute, for 10 minutes. There’s a good reason this one was buried behind the archery targets and wrestling mats, and that reason is because it’s just hard for hard’s sake. All you can do is think about how hard it is and how much more you have to do. No distractions, just an automated jerk telling you you have 10 seconds to somehow catch your breath enough to do another 10. And, you know what? It’s good for you. After you’re done, you feel like you accomplished something, and you’re glad it’s over….hopefully.

    Next Classic bit was partner BLIMPS. This is usually a Dora- or Flora-style routine of any six exercises that start with those letters. Today, the plan was to split duty on 100 BBSU, 100 Lunges (2:1), 200 Imperial Walkers, 200 Merkins, 250 Plank Jacks, and 250 SSH while your partner(s) carioca’d to the sidewalk, did 1 Bobby Hurley, and carioca’d back. The Mystery Stick, however, was hung mysteriously on the string lights. At the cost of 10 burpees, by anyone at any time (but without interruption), the stick could be moved one light bulb closer to the intersection of the two wires. And, YHC explained that at the end of the routine, that the number of lights remaining between the stick and the intersection would determine, how many burpees the entire PAX would do x10.

    The hope was to present the PAX with a tough decision to either get the burpees over with after having just rejoiced at having no more burpees to do, or to delay the burpees, risking the impending fatigue that grew with every carioca. But, this PAX is as tough as they are smart, and they hit the burpees at the very beginning, basically taking turns hammering them out until the stick hung well beyond the crossroads.

    YHC had to modify a bit as the lunges crept a little too slowly toward 100. 2:1 changed to 1:1, and 200 merkins became 100, and that was as far as we got, even though we started with over 15 minutes on the clock. It wasn’t due to lack of effort–nobody took any breaks–but BBSU and lunges are just deceptively slow exercises.

    With a couple of minutes remaining, we burned out the core with some wife pleasers and slow penguins.

    COT, and “The Fire Within” was passed to Safety Valve, who promised to spend time contemplating its many layers of profundity before clothing himself in its splendor tomorrow morning for what can’t help but be an inspired Q.

    The Mystery Stick went back into the truck, and we will continue to find ways to name and incorporate random objects into the fabric of F3 Thibodaux.

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • 6 Corners – from Akbar

    PAX: Akbar, Waterpik, Fletch, Shooter

    Great to see some part time visitors this gloom with Shooter on hiatus from Hanz and Franz Monday with Tank, and Fletch off of work. Hammer was fart sacking with much needed recovery from Spartan training. After some greetings and mumblechatter, we got started with Self-Love, Arm Circles, SSH, Grass Grabbers, Windmills, hillbillies, imperial walkers, 10 count hamstring stretch.

    Lunge walk to the Playground – 3 sets of 10 pull ups, 10 Hanging knee raises, 10 Merkins OYO

    Lunge walk to the street – for 6 Corners

    Starting out at Livingston, left on Marigny to Madison and back. Different counts and variations at each intersection consisting of Stone Mountain, Superman, Apolo Ohno. 20 to 5 on Q’s call – IC and OYO.

    Mosey to the benches for: Freak Nasty, Bulgarian Split Squats, Dirkins – 2 sets x10 IC. 3rd set was a 40 count hold in the middle for each exercise, dropping to 20 count hold on Dirkins – we were spent.

    Mary – Crunchy Frog, Jane Fonda, Hello Dolly, Rosalita

    Count, Name, and Fletch prayed us out
    Intentions: Little girl who lost her sister and mom in the weekend Amber Alert. Bird’s extended family with the loss of his brother’s son. Pik surgery this week.

    Announcements: 4 on the Fourth, 911 run, Spartan Dallas race in October, YHC 5 year anniversary next Saturday.

    Always a pleasure to start my week out right with y’all.
    Until next gloom – Akbar 👊💪

  • Dad Jokes Rule – from Fracsac

    7 pax posted for a Fathers Day beat down courtesy of YHC. That included Wapner, Thumb War, Ballast, Smooth, Heisenberg, Monopoly and YHC
    Conditions were hot and humid with no breeze.
    Got the jams started for the warmup ending with a plank-o-rama.

    The Thang – Stations

    Station 1 – big boi sit-ups
    Station 2 – ‘mericans
    Station 3 – 60 lb sandbag throw over
    Station 4 – Kettle bell swing
    Station 5 – jump rope
    Station 6 – 2 pax toss frisbee or football x 4 (timer)

    Pax going to toss station has to tell a Dad joke. If pax doesn’t have one, it could be bought from YHC for either 5 burpees or a roll of the die. (all do it)

    If no laugh from Dad joke, 5 burpees penalty.
    Completed 2 rounds

    Back of the museum for 10 x 3 rounds of 8 count body builders.
    3 x Sunday Mornings

    Happy Fathers Day

    CoT

    NMM

    Here’s a taste of what you missed
    How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
    Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint!
    I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
    Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They might crack up!
    What did the big flower say to the little flower? “Hi, bud!”
    I went to buy some camouflage pants, but I couldn’t find any.
    What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
    I used to have a job at a calendar factory, but I got fired because I took a couple of days off.
    What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
    Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
    Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere!
    What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner!
    Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems!
    What did one hat say to the other hat? You stay here, I’ll go on ahead!
    Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged!
    I was going to tell you a joke about time travel, but you didn’t like it.
    I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
    Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
    I’m writing a book about glue, but I’m stuck on the first chapter.
    What did one plate whisper to the other plate? Dinner is on me.
    Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
    Two sheep walk into a—baaaa.
    Stop looking for the perfect match; use a lighter.
    Try the seafood diet—you see food, then you eat it.
    Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I’m not going to go spreading it!
    What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1
    What state is known for its small drinks? Minnesota.
    What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business.
    If two vegetarians get in an argument, is it still called beef?
    I have a clean conscious—it’s never been used.
    I love telling Dad jokes. Sometimes, he even laughs.
    SYITG

  • Happy Father’s Day! – from Jose10k

    A bunch of dads ran!

  • Walls of Jericho!! – from Shooter

    The title explains it all except for the warmup and core wrap up..
    Warmup
    Mixture of 12IC and 20IC
    Selflove, Cherry Pickers, Arm circles, Butt kicks, Grass Grabbers, Good Mornings.
    Thang
    Walls of Jericho
    8 count Bodybuilders, Merkins, Mountain climbers 2/1, Flutter kicks 2/1, LBCs, Jump squats and Sister Mary Katherine’s 2/1..
    Wrapup
    Bridges, wife pleasers, Superman’s and Nolan Ryan’s..

    Appreciate the post gents and until the next Gloom. 👍🏼👊🏼✌🏼

  • A half of a bottle of Caribbean Hot Sauce for two scrambled eggs? – from Fletch

    As for the norm, I showed up and there was Jose and Moby doing their normal prethang together. Fast pace walk with good conversation. I jumped in to join in the rant a little. Einstein joined then came Darkwing.
    Warm-ups: of course, we’re old, we need extra stretches to get the body going.
    First thing: 11’s on the ramp. Merkins on the top, squats on the bottom. Vary how you go up and down the ramp. About halfway through, Jose needed a break. He almost splashed merlot. That’s when we heard about his dinner last night. On his journey to lose weight for the Beast, he decided to eat a healthy dinner of 2 scrambled eggs. He took out his Caribbean hot sauce, opened the top, turn it over to splash a little of hot sauce, he accidentally poured half the hot sauce onto his eggs. A normal, intelligent man would have simply made two new eggs. Did Jose do that? Nope, the goofball didn’t want to waste the foreign hot sauce. After dinner, he proceeded to have a night filled with Tums and Pepto.
    After the 11’s, bear crawls came next. 1/3 of the parking lot, normal bear crawls, 1/3 crawl to the left, 1/3 crawl to the right the length of the parking lot. Then it was time for core: leg lifts, big boys, penguins, box cutters, wife pleasers. Then to the stairs, 2 calf raises each step to the bottom, 20 merkins, run across the parking lot, back to the stairs for 2 calf raises back up. COT, prayers for the poor girl who lost her mother and younger sister yesterday, and for Bird’s family

  • At the Intersection of Okwata and DMD – from Fracsac

    YHC showed up and planted a flag. 4 other Pax showed up including Dax, HIPAA, Squints, and Cheese Steak. A brief disclaimer was given and off we moseyed towards the fountain then circled up in front for a warmup where there was a serious plank-o-rama.

    Move to the fountain for double shots with Jack Webb at the Barre, which is ‘mericans followed by air presses in the people’s chair.

    Mosey to the top of the levee for disperse Indian run. Pax that sprints to the front call disperse and an exercise. Pax go down complete 3 of said exercises and then run back up levee.

    At the top of Canal is where YHC introduced the pax to my friend, DirtyMacDuece!
    – 4 rounds of 3 x 12 count exercises including arms, legs, and core. Each round ended in a run down across and up with a bear crawl across the newly paved walkway.

    No time for pull ups. I need to better manage time and our posterior chains.

    Back to the flag for 0615

    CoT

    NMM

    – I gave HIPAA some great advice today during the DMD. He should recommend more bear crawls to his patients. You’re welcome!
    – Thanks to Cheese Steak we all know where Wilson lives now. His M says he slept in, she didn’t seem eager to let us in to wake him up.

    Okwata is calling your name! Come check it out!

    SYITG