F3 New Orleans

Author: Rudy

  • Up and Over the Hill – from Pool Boy

    5:30 Quick disclaimer and Head to the rock pile.

    Warmups consisted of
    Grass grabbers
    Abe Vigodas
    Burpees
    Imperial Walkers
    Arms Circles

    Grab a round and mosey to the hill.
    11’s consisting of curls and overhead press.
    After completion, bear crawl up and down hill. Some confusion but all finished.. I think.

    Head to the pavilion.
    Series of exercises consisting of PAX choice such as
    Flutter Kicks
    Curls
    Burpees
    Overhead press
    Merkins
    Dips
    We tried to finish with Indian walk via Bear Crawl but epic fail.
    COT

  • The Uncertainty Principle – from Heisenberg

    YHC arrived at the mothership, the back of my SUV brimming with various. Bogey was there, stretching limbs that maybe wished they were still in bed. Then came Tool, followed closely by Squints, Bongo, and finally Smooth, who lived up to his name, arriving with the elegance of a gazelle. I was hoping for a larger turnout since the plan required splitting the PAX into two teams. Fortunately, Cheesesteak, Vagabond, Fracsac, and Catfish also joined, rounding out the group. Bongo quipped about expecting less running since YHC was leading, but the day’s agenda did include a fair amount of running, though others ended up running more than Bongo.

    Following a lackluster disclaimer, as Bogey pointed out, we headed to the Peristyle for our warmup. We circled up and did grass grabbers, windmills, imperial walkers, side straddle hops, and 10 burpees, all in cadence. Afterwards, we went back to my SUV to grab our gear.

    We retrieved our tools for the day: the 60-pound sandbag (lovingly referred to as Sandy), an 80-pound sand medicine ball, an assortment of jump ropes, egg weights, a bisected bosa ball that became an object of anatomical humor, a frisbee, a lightsaber (because why not?), a speaker, and the pivotal red die. We took everything to the edge of the great lawn, where we divided into two teams by counting off in alternating “1”s and “2”s, which took a few tries to get right.

    Group 1 started with tabata stations on the great lawn while Group 2 began their runs to the bridge by Café du Monde, based on the roll of the die. The tabata exercises included pushups on the bosa ball, deadlifting the heavy sand medicine ball, speed jump roping, burpees with the lighter sandbag, shadowboxing with egg weights, and using the heavy jump rope. The runs were determined by the die: rolls of 1 or 2 meant one trip, 3 or 4 meant two, and 5 or 6 meant three. The goal was to keep the runners’ duration secret from the tabata group, but this rule was frequently broken.

    The roles switched after the runners completed their laps, with the tabata group rolling the die and setting off on their runs. There were suspicions that Group 2 might have rerolled a few times, hoping for lower numbers. As time ran short we stopped the rotation with Group 2 getting an extra turn running. YHC called for a round of core exercises—big boy situps, flutter kicks, and American hammers—and threw in an early “recover,” which was met with some groans and hesitations.

    We concluded back at the flag where courtesy of Heisenberg — not the meth cook from TV or YHC, but the physicist. I tied in today’s workout with a physics lesson about Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle from quantum mechanics. It states that in quantum mechanics there is a limit to the accuracy with which certain pairs of physical properties, such as position and momentum, can be simultaneously known. In other words, the more accurately one property is measured, the less accurately the other property can be known. So you were either doing tabata (fixed position) and uncertain about the runners (momentum) or you were running (momentum) and uncertain about what was happening in the fixed position group.
    We ended with a Circle of Trust, giving thanks for the day’s efforts and for all the “boobs” in our lives.
    Addendum we also learned about the concept of entanglement and may have formed a qubit when Catfish from Group 1 was simultaneously running with Group 2.

  • The Rocks are Recovered – from Fracsac

    YHC was asked the night before to sub for Gabby as he was recovering from rolling his ankle climbing Mt Everest.
    8 of us headed to warm up while 3 headed to KnoT it out.

    Warmup was regular stuff. YHC then moseyed in the opposite direction of the rock pile, and Mr Rogers knew exactly what that meant. You see, several weeks ago he disrupted the balance at Pontiff by creating a new rock pile and the powers that be reacted with a rainstorm so powerful that floods were seen akin to what was experienced in Katrina. With another round of storms coming, the balance must be restored.
    Speaking of balance we hit the playground with the merry go round after recovering the rocks. Partner up and do some rock squats, pull-ups, burpees and derkin style rotation of the big wheel as the timer.

    Head back to field for CPR:

    Curls x 10, OH Press x 10, Rows x 10
    Bear crawl 20 yds for 5 burpees and lunge walk back. Repeat x 3 with other MoT.

    Head to playground nearest rock pile.

    Ring of fire:

    Hold rock overhead waiting. Burpees x 10 moving around counting to 5.
    Next was curls while holding rock.
    Next was big boi sit-ups sans rock and chest press con rock.
    Next was flutter kick waiting con rock and chest press x 10.
    When asked which was the hardest of the last ones, pax unanimously demanded to repeat the burpees ring of fire.
    Return the rocks to their rightful place and do a round of Mary.

    Horses to the barn.

    CoT

    NMM

    The stickers are bad, so bear crawl was revoked and did bunny hop and duck walks.
    The ring of fire was held on the mulch area by the playground. Burpees in a ring of fire are brutal. We need to do it more.

    Thanks for posting and doing stupid stuff with me. The opportunity to lead is always invigorating and much appreciated.

    SYITG

  • F3-GPT – from Cardinal

    YHC had concocted an idea for a beatdown that had been percolating for a few months now, just waiting for the perfect time to reveal itself. With the explosion of AI chatbots this year, the seed was planted – could ChatGPT craft a killer beatdown?? I mean, it’s got an internet archive treasure trove of backblasts to read. YHC would never have to be creative, or panic at 11pm the night before, again!

    Before committing to the idea, though, YHC had to make a promise to himself – whatever ChatGPT gave would be the beatdown, no edits. So below you’ll find for your reading pleasure the full, unedited response to YHC’s prompt, “Create a 45 minute F3 beatdown.”
    —————
    Certainly! Here’s a **45-minute F3 beatdown** that you can use for your workout. This routine is designed to challenge you and work your entire body. Feel free to modify or adjust it as needed:

    1. **Warm-Up** (5 minutes):
    – **SSH (Side Straddle Hops)**: 20 reps
    – **Good Mornings**: 15 reps
    – **Arm Burners**: 10 reps
    – **High Knees**: 20 seconds
    – **Butt Kickers**: 20 seconds
    – **Merkins**: 10 reps

    2. **4 Corners Circuit** (15 minutes):
    – Set up four markers in a square or rectangular shape (e.g., tennis courts).
    – Complete the following exercises at each corner, then run to the next corner:
    – **Round 1**:
    – 10 Merkins
    – 15 Squats
    – 20 Plank Jacks
    – 6 Burpees
    – **Round 2**:
    – 15 Merkins
    – 20 Squats
    – 25 Plank Jacks
    – 8 Burpees
    – **Round 3**:
    – 20 Merkins
    – 25 Squats
    – 30 Plank Jacks
    – 10 Burpees

    3. **Parking Space 11’s** (10 minutes):
    – Start on one side of the parking lot.
    – Perform 10 Merkins, then run to the other side.
    – Perform 1 Charles Shackleford (burpee with a basketball shot).
    – Repeat, decreasing Merkins by 1 and increasing Charles Shacklefords by 1 until you reach 1 Merkin and 10 Charles Shacklefords.

    4. **6 Minutes of Mary** (6 minutes):
    – Rotate through the following core exercises:
    – **The Dolly**
    – **The High Dolly**
    – **LBC (Little Baby Crunches)**
    – **The Dying Cockroach**
    – **Flutter Kick**
    – **Row The Boat**
    – **Freddie Mercury**

    5. **Circle of Trust (COT)** (4 minutes):
    – Share prayer requests and intentions with the group.
    – Consider praying for:
    – Flat Head’s daughter (upcoming test at Chapel Hill)
    – Brother Landlord’s sister (recovering from surgery)
    – Scrappy’s friend (job loss)
    – CPR’s job test
    – Everyone dealing with COVID

    Remember to push yourself but also listen to your body. Modify any exercise as needed, and encourage others during the beatdown! 🏋️‍♂️💪
    ———

    A few observations: ChatGPT didn’t do a bad job overall. It started the Warmorama with SSH’s, as it should. It nailed some classic F3 exercises flawlessly.

    It clearly can’t take into account human fatigue – we ended up scrapping round 3 of the circuit in the interest of time. And if you didn’t recognize some of those exercises, that’s because they don’t exist, but we made our best educated guess where it left us without an explanation. The general consensus was that AI’s plan was to end us all there in its effort to take over the world, but the PAX valiantly pushed through some really hard stuff. It was a sight to behold. We finished out right on time (excluding that 3rd round of the circuit) and Valve prayed us out (including the presumably real intentions offered by PAX in the past).

    Who knows, maybe YHC will pull this tactic again in a pinch.

    SYITG,

    Cardinal

  • Cheaters Often Win: The Case of the Musical Cones, uh, Coupons – from Goose

    YHC was freshly returned from the massive F3 kingdom to the West known as Houston having been exposed to a fresh, new idea for a “fun” game perfect for the open Q slot at the Peltch on Saturday. The best part was that YHC had time on the flight home to concoct numerous levels of “gaming” this game after having been exposed to its many weaknesses while among the TX PX. However, as the PAX began to pull into the gravel lot on Saturday morning, YHC realized that the carefully crafted layers of deception and illusion would be greatly tested given the particular skill sets of this cast of characters. They were as follows:

    -Cardinal: “Captain Strategio”
    -Enron: “The Prosecutor”
    -Honeysuckle: “The Brain”
    -Popeye: “The Grizzled Soldier Who’s Seen Everything”
    -Safety Valve: “The Martyr”
    -Ladybug: “What Are We Doing, Again?”

    This crew would stretch YHC’s plan to its breaking point, but these plots within plots had been strategically architected for success under any circumstances.

    We started with an extremely unorthodox warmup to shake each man off of his confident perch ion the branch of comfortable expectations and break up any unity of thought amongst the collective. It went like this: Imperial Walkers, arm circles, cherry pickers, Laffy Night Clubs, mountain climbers, self-love.

    This was followed by a song, heard at least once by most, known well by none, called “Tarzan Boy” by Baltimora. SSH for the duration (big surprise), windmills during the Tarzan yells, and 8-count bodybuilders during the bridge(s) (“Night to night, Gimme the other, Gimme the other…)”.

    YHC hinted at the ridiculous length of the song by offering a prize for any who could guess it. Most guessed that it was long with Enron getting within 3 seconds (it was 6:20, he guessed 6:23). That might have been close enough for Paradox, but we took it all the way into the fade out. It felt like we were watching the entirety of the end credits of an 80’s movie.

    The time had now come to execute the plan. All PAX grabbed a coupon and moseyed to the lower field, though Ladybug somehow got stuck in a very, very long conversation with an elderly couple jogging by. If YHC had to guess by their body language, it was about the unique qualities of cinder blocks and their multifaceted role in today’s society.

    YHC had the PAX circle up around the Q about 15 ft. apart and explained that we’d be playing musical cones, with cinder blocks, without cones. There were no cones on the field. When the music started, the PAX would bear crawl around the cones…no, blocks…and when the music stopped, everyone had to touch a block. The problem, of course, is that there was one fewer blocks than PAX, so the man left out had to go to the middle. The rest of the PAX performed an exercise AMRAP for 1 minute while the man in the middle did burpees. Each exercise would be done for 5 rounds of before switching to the next one on the list (so, each of the exercises listed below was done for 5 rounds of 1 minute AMRAPs):

    -Curls
    -Overhead Press (only did 3 rounds of this–it was looking/feeling really rough)
    -Goblet Squats
    -WW3 Situps
    -All rounds: burpees in the middle, and bear crawl around the cones, I mean, blocks (shut up, Cardinal!)

    After about 30 seconds of the first round of most of these exercises, we were pretty smoked, but the PAX pressed on and didn’t complain too much. At first, the burpees seemed a nice break from the endless curls and OHP, but that didn’t last long. The bear crawls and upper body work, followed by leg work, made the burpees more of a dreaded punishment as time went on.

    It only took about three rounds for the PAX to realize YHC had yet to have to go to the middle. It was Enron, of course, who brought it up, half joking, that it was coincidental that the Q, the guy holding the phone with the musical chairs app, seemed to have a block right next to him each time the music stopped. Now, YHC was ready for this, but it came quicker than expected. Likely, The Prosecutor’s nose for injustice was sharpened by having done multiple rounds of penalty burpees in such a short period of time. Level one of the plan was, of course, merely pressing a button on my phone, but YHC knew that wouldn’t last long, so the phone began to be carried in YHC’s pocket during the bear crawls to dissuade any accusations.

    The next level of the plan was guessed at by The Brain himself, Honeysuckle; though, he overplayed his hand by saying it out loud, which made it sound ridiculous, and the PAX had a good chuckle. He guessed that there was a sensor in each block that triggered the app.
    YHC had, indeed poured new cinder blocks the week before with sensors in them (that’s why they were so heavy, Ladybug). This meant that YHC had to move more quickly than planned to Level 3: a concrete sensor in the zip pouch on the rear of my short running shorts. It senses the proximity of dense-ish concrete blocks and sends a signal to my phone, set to stop the music after YHC passed exactly three blocks.

    This was working well, except that, by this point, Safety Valve seemed to purposefully be losing, getting caught without a block about 2 out of every 3 rounds. It evoked strong pity among the PAX, combined with Enron’s incessant accusations (“I’m telling you, he’s cheating. He’s never been to the middle, no burpees. There’s no way he doesn’t ever get caught. I’m telling you, I’m a numbers guy, and I’ve done the calculations. It doesn’t add up. It’s impossible, even for a computer, I’m telling you.”). YHC could see it in their eyes every time Safety Valve dove unsuccessfully for yet another block and then drug himself to the middle for unrelenting burpees: “What are you doing to him? He’s an eye surgeon! He has young kids! When is enough enough?” YHC’s lack of burpees could only go on so long, but just how long?

    Though Ladybug’s delight at the idea of using “World War 3” as a name for an exercise distracted the PAX for a bit, YHC knew that after a short while, Captain Strategio (Cardinal) would notice the music stopping after YHC passed exactly 3 cones, so we would need to move onto Level 4: underground wiring tracking YHC’s location relative to the blocks. This would be short-lived, however, as Popeye’s face (and modification of goblet squats) revealed that he was picking up some underground radio activity in his bum knee. We only had about 2 rounds left, so YHC was about to move to Level 5, satellite tracking, but then saw Honeysuckle messing with his watch, clearly manipulating his own satellites to check for orbital signals. So, there was only one remaining option. YHC would have to do burpees. I pretended to tie with Safety Valve as we both dove for the block, and then I offered to take one for the team to ease the collective sense of injustice he’d been a victim to at YHC’s devising.

    I’m here to tell you–those burpees were hard, especially followed by bear crawling for the umpteenth time around the circle. YHC almost felt sorry for the rest of the PAX who had all done multiple rounds in the center, but I was too distracted by trying to come up with a cover story for the unexplainable “luck” I had experienced.

    We picked up the blocks and headed back to the flag for some WW1 Situps (for Ladybug) to fill the last two minutes, then COT and Popeye prayed us out.

    Ultimately, I explained that I had picked up a strategy in Houston: wide, slow circles around the cones (dammit!) blocks, and make your way forward, nice and slowly, only once the guy ahead of you commits to the next block. It seemed to good enough for about half of the PAX, though Enron could be heard muttering at church the next morning: “I’m telling you, the numbers, I’m telling you.”

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • Run,Ruck or KNOT – from Kenna Brah

    A motley Krewe assembled with the FNG looking sharp in his PRO running togs and ready to experience F3. Unbeknownst to him, many were plotting his ascent to regain the Hammer from the NS heathen. You see, this guy is FAST.

    Each group split off to chase their dreams, leaving me to SOLO ruck on the rough railway rocks.

    We reassemble late, named the FNG “HIPAA”, being that he is a Dr.
    Brief COT – Out!!

  • 46th Birthday Q – 4/26/24 – Graduation Day – from King Kong

    Turning 46 today! So I took the Q. 20 Pax joined me on this beautiful, cool morning. We appreciate this weather because we know the heat and humidity will arrive soon.

    Moseyed to the lawn in front of Tulane Gibson Hall for warm-ups: Stretches, self love, arm circles to SSHs.

    Then moseyed towards Tulane campus and stopped by this multi million $ new building. We purposely stained their clean steps with our sweat with inclined merkins, squats, and alternate step-ups.

    When we realized that we cannot afford Tulane’s tuition, we decided to transfer to Loyola. We stumbled upon this parking garage. I figure we can get a better view of the campus once we get to the top. Before each ramp on every level, we did 8 burpees. 8 burpees x 5 floors = 40 burpees. Tulane’s education paid off, but I still think we need to explore Loyola. On every ramp between our burpees, we did the following: backward run, bear crawl, duck walk, bunny hops, backward bear crawl. I heard a few mumblechattering…. Once we reached the top, we all sat against the wall and did seal claps, overhead claps, and overhead presses. Still kind of dark… nothing to see up here…. we decided to Indian Run back down and met up with studious Mary at the Palms Court. We did some flutter-kicks, hello Darlene, leg raises, and 6 more burpees…. 3 of them were painfully slow.

    Mary showed us the importance of stretching after a good beatdown. Unfortunately, it’s time to say goodbye to Mary as we all graduated from college with a F3 degree.

    At graduation, I passed out diplomas to NipTuck (Valedictorian), Bad Moon, Schmeat Pump, Willie, Reluctant Yankee, Reluctant Tiger, BlowOut, 8 Ball, Douille, Jingle Vader, Chowda, Sandbar, Walk in the Park, Angie’s List, MeatBall, Dry Socket, Sogo, Chiquita, Manchovy, and Windbreaker.

    I am always grateful to have a F3 degree. I truly believe this will carry us far in life, and I wish to have many more Birthday Qs. I hope to reach quadruple respect status at the very least.

    Kong

  • Stations of The Cross Fit – from Einstein

    Strong warmup featuring many fan favorites.
    The event: set up 4 stations with gear:
    1 – jump ropes
    2 – 35 pound kettle bell
    3 – 24 pound kettle bell
    4 – 1 set of 15 pound dumbbells
    One pax sprints down the parking deck and then jogs back around.
    While one is running, the remaining pax each pick a station and; jump rope, squat press the 35 pounder, one arm press the 24 pounder, or lunge in place with the 15 pounders.
    then the next guy runs and each pax rotates a station
    We each did five or six run/rotations, and all worked up a good sweat.
    Moby sprinted his last run – impressive!
    DarkWingDuck prayed us out.

  • Chewdoku – from Russo

    Upper 60s this morning at the Pad, where a Pax of three took to the streets (which were surprisingly busy with traffic).

    Pelican was in his normal Friday position, but we were met with a returning Quarterpipe (sans Halloween alien costume) that was a welcome addition. YHC and Pelican had already started in on political discourse by the time QP joined, so we had to apologize in advance for starting off hot.

    Warmup (all 10x)
    – Sealjacks
    – High knees
    – Arm circles
    – Cherry pickers
    – Grass grabbers
    – Toe touches
    – self love
    – Torso twists

    Thang
    Mosey around Old Mandeville, stopping at corners for what I called the Escalator – 7 exercises, varying rep counts from 7 to 1. Next round, what was 6 reps becomes 7, 5 becomes 6, rinse and repeat to where 7 becomes one.

    If you looked at the screenshot of the Excel schedule I used to compile (the printer was doing printer things so no hard copy) it, you’d see why it’s an escalator. Or, as Pelican noted, “more like a conveyor belt”. Chewy had the best response to my explanation at one point, dead panning “So….Soduku?” So from now on, it will be entitled Chew-doku.

    Once we hit the lake, it was 10 freak nasties, BSSs, and box jumps just to say we did.

    Back at home, COT and all that entails closed us out. Thank you gentlemen for joining, Steve I hope you feel better soon, remember there is the annual Zoo-rich classic tomorrow, and SYITG!

  • Winston Cavendish – from Shooter

    https://norfolkdailynews.com/news/veteran-cop-was-the-real-mcgruff/article_a1fcdd20-595a-11e5-b1e0-ab18827f3ee6.html

    When you see Mr. McGruff now you will know the reason. Thanks to all the PAX this morning sharing there theories about our new attention at the Scramble. Most importantly thanks to The Hammer for doing the research to find out that a St Tammany parish resident Sgt. Cavendish of the Sun PD was actually the real McGruff back in the day..

    Warmup brief
    Toe Touches, butt kicks, Cherry pickers, Mountain climbers, leg swings forward and back and side to side.

    Runners 4.3 and Ruckers 20 out and 20 back. Welcome to FNG KickFlip and Chewy EHing two FNGs in the last two months..

    Count, announce, COT

    Until the next Gloom 👍🏼👊🏼✌🏼!!!