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  • F2 Whiskey Rodeo

    “Thanks, can I have another?”

    21 PAX met in the gathering gloom of a May monday, each with a bottle in hand. The warm glow of Patois (T-claps to Squeal!) beckoned the PAX in for a communion of the spirits. Mostly the brown and amber kind.

    First up from YHC, were a couple batting practice pours to investigate a new expression from the YHC’s flatboat lab. The PAX were gracious guinea pigs.

    Then our minister of spirit and education, whiskey guardian and general great guy, one Andy Borbely, picked up the Q and delivered a homily to warm our souls. Only the hardy could withstand this THANG. 17 whiskies in 4 hours. Sniff, Sniff, Sniff again, sip, and quaff. Note the subtle hints of Peaches. Something about peat. Or was it Pete? Lather, rinse and repeat.

    The brave PAX sampled bourbons, Irish whiskies, Japanese expressions, more bourbon, and Scotch. Here’s the sequential list.

    • Elijah Craig
    • Old Forrester, 1920
    • Old Forrester, 1870
    • Weller Wheat
    • Angel’s Envy!!
    • Tyrconnell
    • Jameson Black
    • Toki
    • Hibiki Harmony
    • Wild Turkey Rye
    • Pinhook
    • Blanton’s
    • WT Rare Breed
    • Macallan 10
    • Balvenie Double Wood 12
    • Laophraig

    To nourish the PAX and keep them going for the long haul, Squeal and 86 laid out delicious provisions including boudin balls, wings, pork tacos and fries. T-Claps and much gratitude from the PAX. YHC is sure their significant others thank them as well. And T-claps to the uptown PAX for coming together for a great show!

  • Mother’s Day Au Lait

    Three PAX need to work on their priorities. Or perhaps they have superior time management and family diplomatic skills. Either way, Bean, In Time and YHC met for the weekly 10k Au Lait on Mother’s Day morning, ran for 10k at a leisurely pace while discussing the advantages of running at a leisurely pace, and then high tailed it back home for Mother’s Day festivities.

  • Easy Like Sunday Morning….

    YHC was feeling the need to add some manliness to the Sunday routine. With the kettle bell movement in full swing uptown (see what I did there), YHC took the opportunity to bring a good old fashioned beat down to the World in the confines of City Park. What YHC did not account for was the wrath of Mother Nature. The lightning show died out around 0620, along with the rains, which made for a quiet and cool time in City Park. The only issue now was the high water. YHC drove slowly down the river called Marconi Drive, and made it to NOMA.

    At 0630, YHC made a quick mosey toward the Great Lawn just in case there were Pax loitering about there, but nay, no Pax present. Mosey back to the big lagoon for a quick warmup of some side straddle hops and something else, then a run around the lagoon with some burpees. Mosey to the Foundry, where the path leading to the bike trail was over ankle deep with high water, keeping YHC from entering it. YHC did pullups, Burpees, and WW2 situps.

    Mosey to the practice track, where Roosevelt Mall was hiding under the standing waters, but YHC hopped along the protruding islands and only had to endure a few moments of submerged feet. At the practice track, which was high and dry, YHC did some sprints on the straightaways, mosey on the curves, and stopped in the practice area for a few other exercises, like burpees and such.

    Mosey back to NOMA for the virtual COT (tough to do COT with a single Pax). Announcements included the Bar-a-thon, but YHC reminded the Q that he was already signed up. Prayed for those that had damage from the waters and the storm, and that a quick recovery was in their future.

    NMM

    YHC managed a little over 4 miles, and racked up the only ISI point of the day. The new AO name shall remain unnamed, with a name coming in the very near future, one would hope, unless Mother Nature has something to say about it.

    SYITG

  • I’m told there was a 45-minute workout today

    Last week, High Rise was thrust into the spotlight at the Danger Zone when the Q failed to show. This week, High Rise was thrust into the spotlight when YHC had to make an abrupt exit to take care of a most urgent matter.

    Before all that though, we warmed up with a lap around the track, where we did some high knees, butt kicks, skipping, running sideways, zombie walks, and moseying.

    Next, we split into 2 heats for the following:

    • sprint 100, jog 300
    • sprint 200, jog 200
    • sprint 300, jog 100
    • sprint 400

    Somewhere around the time we came around the second turn of the 300 sprint, YHC broke the news to High Rise that he would, in fact, be Q’ing another workout on very short notice. Luckily, High Rise took it in stride.

    • YHC: Yo, I gotta go. real bad. you got this
    • High Rise: Sure thing. What’s next
    • YHC: Uh, sprints
    • High Rise: uhhhhh. okay

    YHC had planned some parachute runs and round two with the new, hopefully fixed, speed ropes, but when ISI doubled the normal turnout at the DZ, those plans were scrapped for a “spur of the moment” workout. Luckily, High Rise was up to the challenge. I’m told the following occurred while I was gone:

    • 400m sprint
    • Relay Races
    • PAX choice MARY (dying cockroaches, penguins, merkins, crab cakes, Freddie Mercury)

    Luckily, YHC returned in time to suggest we finish up by timing our fastest quarter mile. This was met with some groans – apparently there had been running while YHC was busy handling nature’s call. Who knew?

    We finished up with some stretching and a bit of grumbling from Rudy, so I’d say we were fully back on track by the end. War Eagle prayed us out. Thanks for letting me lead half a workout, and thanks to High Rise for being a great sport and taking the reigns. – Kuch

  • Mother’s Day Hangover

    Never has the PAX been greeted by a larger amount of refuse at the Marsh. Obviously, it was a raucous affair for mother’s day at the park. As YHC was going about the all too routine affair of picking up the AO, Shooter pulled up and slowly ambled from is sleek ans sporty Honda Fit. Waterpik trundled up in his reliable SUV shortly thereafter. And just when we thought the roster had settled at three, the n0w-familiar truck of Cowbell illuminated the court with its headlights. Having just signed up the previous day, QIC navigated his way through the mist of hesitation that lay at the foot of the unpropitious beat down his slightly demented imagination had conjured up. (It was worse than it sounds…)

    WARM

    x15 IC:

    Toe Touches

    Cherry Pickers

    Air Presses

    Arm Circles (10 F, 10 R)

    High Knees

    Butt Kicks

    THANG

    At the corner of Lamarque and Livingston, the PAX dropped for 10 Merkins IC. Then we did another 10 Merkins IC. We followed that up with yet another 10 Merkins IC. That abuse continued until 5 sets were complete, at which time we mosied southbound to the corner of Lamarque and Monroe. There, we did the same set count with Squats. Upon completion, the jolly band of brothers skipped back to the previous corner, and proceeded to rinse and repeat. Heeding Cowbell’s mention of Q’s core prowess, it was off to center court for:

    MARY

    50 LBCs

    40 Freddy Mercury’s

    30 Putins

    20 Hello Dolly’s

    10 LMCs

    20 Heal Pulses

    30 Flutter Kicks

    40 100s

    50 Heal Taps (or Penguins)

    COT

    Waterpik prayed us us out, and Shooter welcomed Cowbell to his 1st visit to the Marsh and surprised us all with a new batch of hid very own beef jerky! Eat your heart out Steve and Captain Sparkles!!!!

  • Running With Scissors

    I had been looking forward to this (1 day after) Birthday Q. Since I am a Physical Therapist I wanted to introduce a few exercises that I have my patients perform in the clinic or suped-up modifications of those exercises. I had considered using the great lawn for a portion of the beatdown but due to the amount of rain we had received and the lack of any animal crawls I opted to stay dry (of water, not sweat) which I hope the PAX appreciated. 8 men gathered in the humid, muggy, but sunny morning, the disclaimer was given, and off we moseyed to the pavilion by the Festival Grounds as everyone carried their soon to be announced coupons while I carried the scissors so said coupons could be distributed.

    Warm Up:

    • Side straddle hops x 25
    • Windmills x 10
    • Self love x 10
    • Hillbillies x 20
    • Mountain climbers x 20

    Thang #1:

    I was inspired by 2 recent beatdowns by Mr. Awesome and Kuch that included Tabata. So I performed a dry run the night before with a free app I downloaded and chose a 90s grunge playlist on Amazon Prime for 20 sec of exercise and 10 sec of rest for a group of arm exercises all using Theraband. We performed 2 rounds, with some questionable grunge selections by Amazon (Goo Goo Dolls and Dave Matthews Band are not 90s grunge).

    • Shoulder flexion (forward straight arm raise)
    • T’s/airplanes (separate arms apart while maintaining arms at shoulder level)
    • External rotation (elbows by your side and swing open arms like a gate)
    • Shoulder abduction (lateral straight arm raise)
    • Biceps curls
    • Triceps extension

    Thang #2:

    With everyone’s shoulders burning it was time to work on some legs. After shifting the picnic tables out of the way, PAX lined up on one end of the pavilion and performed a series of exercises back and forth across the pavilion

    • Lunge with twist, there and back
    • Toe walks, there
    • Heel walks, back
    • Monster walks with Theraband around ankles, forward there and retro back
    • Lateral monster walks with Theraband around ankles, alternate direction after a lap

    Thang #3:

    Everyone’s quads and gluts seemed to be burning after those so PAX circled back up for a some merkin and plank variations all performed in cadence

    • Merkin plus x 15
    • Merkin into side plank x 10
    • Plank on elbows into a birddog position (lifting alternate arm and leg) x 10

    At this point my arms were getting worn out and I was slipping from my sweat on the pavilion concrete so I made slight change in my exercise order. Time for some People’s Chair x 30 sec each, with modifications of course to target different muscle groups.

    • Feet flat on ground
    • Shift weight towards heels to fire the gluts
    • Shift weight towards balls of the feet to fire the quads
    • Single leg with right leg in air
    • Single leg with left leg in air

    Following this I went back and completed by merkin/plank exercise group with side planks into a straight leg raise x 10 each side.

    Thang #4:

    Following our pavilion portion of the beatdown we moseyed over to the deck in front of Big Lake while carrying coupons (and scissors of course). All exercises done in cadence.

    • Prone T’s/airplanes (Theraband optional) x 15 ; my apologies to the tall people/people with long arms
    • Prone W’s x 15
    • Dips x 15
    • Step ups x 15; 1 set leading with right then 1 set leading with left leg
    • High rises x 15

    Yeah, I named an exercise after myself. I have a lot of patients at the clinic perform wife pleasers. However, I do not call them wife pleasers. They are called bridges. Wife pleasers/bridges seemed too simple for this group of men so I modified it into something different. Starting position is in a crab walk, then lift your hips/butt into the air while also lifting 1 leg in the air. So it’s a suped-up single leg wife pleaser. Hope this makes sense to anyone reading this nonsense.

    Mosey back to the Muscleship shovelflag for some static hamstring, butterfly, and figure-4 piriformis stretching x 15 sec hold for each. Count off, name-o-rama, annoucements, intentions, and sweaty ball of man prayer. Thanks to all PAX for showing up. Hope everyone was as sore and fatigued as I was.

  • 5 Stud Poker

    5 Stud Poker

    5 Studs showed up for some F3 Poker this morning. But first the disclaimer…”If you or someone you know has a gambling problem….”

    Warm-up

    A standard Hawgcycle warm-up, start with SSH to 31 then loosen the hips with some Imperial Walkers. Next, stretch the Hammies with some Abe Vigodas. Then make everyone get down on the ground for some Peter Parkers and back up for some grass grabbers to continue to stretch the hammies. (Note to Amnesty: I would have taken care of you) Then grab a rock and mosey to the tree-line by the outer track.

    The Thang
    Round 1: Five Card Stud

    My newly arrived F3 Deck of Death was sitting on a bench 50+ yards away. Bear crawl to the deck and draw a card. Jog back. Repeat until you have 5 cards. You can fold your hand or play. Folding earns you 10 penalty burpees. If you play and lose you get 15 penalty burpees. If you win, you get to return the cards to the bench at your leisure, shuffle them and return to the pax after doing zero burpees.

    Boo Boo and Left Eye folded. Darkwing Duck won the first hand with a pair of Kings. We went ahead and did all of the exercises in Darkwings Hand

    • King of Clubs – 25 American Hammers
    • King of Hearts – 25 Mountain Climbers
    • 4 of Diamonds – 14 Carolina Dry Docks
    • 7 of Hearts – Bear Crawl – 40 yards
    • 5 of Clubs – 15 Oblique Crunches (Both Sides)

    We then did our penalty burpees as Darkwing returned the deck to the bench.

    Round 2: Five Card Draw

    Sprint to the deck (50+ yards) and draw a card. Jog back to the start. Repeat until you have a hand of 5 cards. Same penalty rules apply, but this time you can draw extra cards at a cost of 5 burpees per card. Left Eye and Darkwing folded, taking their 10 penalty burpees. Boo Boo drew one card at a cost of 5 burpees. YHC and Tool, flying in the face of pure logic and common sense, each drew 3 cards at a cost of 15 burpees. While YHC, Tool, and Boo Boo sprinted to the deck and paid our burpee cost for drawing cards, Darkwing Duck led Left Eye in a round of LBCs. Boo Boo was drawing for a straight and ended with a 10 high, so he took 10 burpees and folded. YHC put up my Ace high against Tools pair of Aces – 15 burpees for me.

    Round 3: Five Card Stud (Fives are wild)

    The last round was dealer’s choice. We sprinted to the deck and Tool dealt us each five cards calling the fives as wild. We sprinted back to the start and commenced the round. Darkwing, Tool, and YHC all folded, taking the 10 burpee penalty. Left Eye Lopez had a wild five and beat Boo Boo with a pair of Aces. Before we did the penalty burpees we did a couple of exercises from Left Eye’s hand.

    • 6 of Clubs – Mission Impossible (60 seconds)
    • 7 of Hearts – Bear Crawl (40 yards)

    We finished our penalty burpees while Left Eye moseyed back to gather the cards and various things I left on the bench. Then it was back to the flag.

    The Skinny
    • Ridiculously low numbers to day, circa 2018. Was it the ISI or the fact that I was the Q. I’m telling myself it was the ISI. I’m sure the Lakeview Clown Cars were piling up the points at WPM, but where was the Old Metairie Krewe?
    • Tool, being the HIM that he is, went to Amnesty’s house to pick him up for the workout. Amnesty, being the fartsacker that he is, didn’t show.
    • I got the feeling that I should not play real poker with Darkwing Duck.
    • If nothing else, we got better at bear crawls today.
    • Lefty Eye was not pleased with the 75 yard rock mosey we started with to get to the playing field. Mr. Lopez, I am now deeming you the official Uptowner Compliance Officer. Your job is to make sure the Q adheres to the spirit of the Uptowner. Any violations should bring public chastisement and humiliation. I can tell you that Mambi will be a problem when he comes back. Start chastising him now.

  • Raise Your Hand if You’re Steve

    YHC walked up to a healthy group of scramblers with words of salutation dripping from his already blustering pie hole. Never mind the fact that the thus-far gathered PAX were in the middle of a round of mumble chatter that caused looks of contemplative concern on most of their countenances. But more on that later…

    WARM O RAMA

    With a recent BB trend in mind, QIC lead the Pax in a random smattering Air Presses (my bad), High Knees, Butt Kicks, Torso Twists, Calf Raises and Slow Squats before High Skipping about 10 yards. Then away we went!

    THANG

    So, apparently, Steve has been battling a muscle receptor issue which was hindering his ability to straighten his arms. YHC has dealt with something similar in the past so he can empathize. However, this particular handicap made for a multiple-comment worthy running form as the scramblers scrambled along their scramble-licious route.

    T claps to the scramblers as a group, who have increased their average pace from around 9:30/mile last year to 8:30/mile now.

    MARY

    With our war torn compatriot in mind, Q wrapped things up with exercises modified to either lay flat on the back or tummy, including such bastardized favorites as Armless Freddy Mercurys, Hello Dollys, Rosalitas, Pumping Leg Presses, Circle O Superman, and Scorpion Kicks.

    COT

    Chewy prayed us out….

    Once again, F3’s resident physical therapist super hero, and the REAL reason we all post at the Scramble, Chewy was on the job. He got to polkin’ and prodin’ the Hobester, and after tricking a few of those muscle receptors, the arms were as straight as an arrow (though a bit sore).

    Guys, thanks for waking up at the butt crack of dawn and scrambling through the edge of Hades’ humidity to push yourselves and your F3 brothers.

  • Bridges & Burpees in lieu of Bars & Beers

    Strong showing of fourteen runners and four cyclists posted at the Stomp in City Park to get their usual Tuesday fix.  With the annual Bar-a-thon just 10 days away, YHC figured the PAX could use some training to make sure the legs and lungs will be up to par for the pinnacle of F3 CSAUP events….liver training will be OYO in evenings.  Since it wouldn’t be practical to squeeze in 6 miles, 6 bars, and 6 beers in the gloom, we opted for a “Bridge-a-thon” instead to include 6 kilometers, 6 bridges, and 6 rounds of burpees.  Goal was 40 minutes, F2 encouraged, and awards to follow for various categories TBD.  As the clock neared launch time, we recapped the 6K route w/burpees x10 at each of the 6 bridges:  Start with normal run down Roosevelt Mall, across bayou, left on Moss St., left on Desaix Bridge, right onto Wisner overpass, run down paved path along bayou, hit Harrison bridge, turn around, pass in front of Pan Am Stadium down Zach Taylor Dr, left at underpass, then Henry Thomas Dr to Roosevelt Mall back to the flag, then sweep the six or start some Mary. 

    The PAX all completed the mission, some modified up or down, most with extra time for additional running and/or Mary.  The guys on bikes embarked on a longer route and met us back at the flag, just in time for the “awards ceremony“.  In true Barathon fashion, koozies were awarded for the following random categories, with the entire PAX coming to a 2-3 second consensus for each award:

    Fastest Runner – El Guapo took home the chic Nyx koozie, since he was the manliest guy that morning and can best pull off using a girly koozie

    Most Sophisticated/Best Dressed – Chips was unanimous winner with his tank top and bright orange shoes…he left with the fancy zip-up longneck koozie

    Most Ordinary/Average PAX – After a breif debate, War Eagle took this title for the morning and left with the most average, used koozie that YHC could find in his garage. 

    Best Cyclist – Amnesia was awarded this by his fellow biking peers, I think for his speedy use of the Blue Bike.  

    Sweatiest Guy – This was to be the most coveted award since it meant you probably worked the hardest….went to Screw Top, who took home a custom, one-of-a-kind vintage F3 puffy foam koozie. T-claps for pushing hard!

    T-claps to all, and sorry that everyone didn’t get a trophy.    

    COT included usual announcements, GiveNola details, and a reminder that while many of us might joke about beer drinking being a “sport”, YHC suggested we strive to do it in moderation and not let it get the best of us….and to be a help to others around us who may be slipping down that slope.  We lifted up several intentions for those battling illness as we closed with a prayer.

    Great to see lots of new faces lately consistently out in the gloom.  And lots of good F2 as always.  I was able to chat with a few guys along the run, which is always a good way to start the day. Also shout out to Dirty Dell who used his doctor skills to asses a downed PAX. Fortunately all was well.  

    Hope to see everyone at the Tchoupitoulas Barathon on May 17.  It’s always a blast, even if you’re not a beer drinker.  Details here:  https://www.eventbrite.com/e/2019-tchoupitoulas-social-aid-athletic-club-bar-a-thon-the-38th-registration-46260502408

    Tool       

  • Relay Race – 8.5 Teams Got Stronger Today

    17 PAX managed to meet up on a humid, sunny Wednesday morning. Summer is coming since the Knight King was handled by a teenager. PAX will miss the cool, dry air for the next 6 months. Welcome back – PaceCar from F3 Houston and Hand Grenade from San Antonio. At 6:30, YHC gave his standard disclaimer and off went the PAX.

    Warm-ups

    Short mosey to the Band Stand and did the following in cadence:

    SSHs x 20

    Windmills x 10

    Grass Grabber x 10

    Self Love x 10

    Hill Billies x 20

    MC x 20

    PAX did BLIMPS down the Oak Alley. Stopped at each light post and did the following:

    5 Burpees

    10 Lunges (2 is 1)

    15 Imperial Walkers (2 is 1)

    20 Merkins

    25 Plank Jacks

    30 Squats

    Got back on the running track of Audubon Park and ran to the front of Audubon Zoo where the PAX normally do DORA.

    Relay Race

    Partnered up. YHC stressed this is a team race. While one PAX was resting and waiting in front of the Zoo, the other PAX was sprinting to the first light post, did 3 Hand-Release Burpees (Hurpees), and sprint back. Tag his partner and flap jack where the 2nd PAX ran to the same first post and did 3 hurpees. This is the sequence of the Relay Race:

    to the first light post with 3 hurpees

    to the 2nd light post with 30 LBCs

    to the 3rd light post with 3 hurpees

    to the 4th light post with 30 shoulder taps (2 is 1)

    to the first light post with 2 hurpees

    to the 2nd light post with 20 LBCs

    to the 3rd light post with 2 hurpees

    to the 4th light post with 20 shoulder taps (2 is 1)

    to the first light post with 1 hurpees

    to the 2nd light post with 10 LBCs

    to the 3rd light post with 1 hurpees

    to the 4th light post with 10 shoulder taps (2 is 1)

    YHC stressed to each PAX to give it all on their sprint because each will get a chance to rest in between and there will be a prize for the first, second, and third place teams – more burpees 🙂 T-claps to Bartman & King Kong, G-Spot & Yankee, and Tinkles & 86 for finishing 1st, 2nd, and 3rd, respectively.

    Round of Mary with the help of the PAX

    King Kong – Dying Cockroach x 20 IC

    Yankee – O Dolly

    PaceCar – Monkey Humpers x 25 IC

    Quarter Pipe – Willie Wrecker x 15 IC (Willie Wrecker is BACK!!!)

    G-Spot – Real Freddy x 20 IC

    Moseyed back to the flag at 6:15 a.m.

    COT

    Count-O-Rama 17 PAX, Name-O-Rama, announcements, intentions. Thank You all again for the opportunity to lead. I am always grateful to be able to workout with the PAX. SYITG

    King Kong

    PaceCar needs to take a better pic.