F3 New Orleans

Category: Northshore

  • Name change?

    That was the question of the morning at the Milestone Marsh.  YHC told the Pax to mosey on over to the”Workout”Equipment and Bushwacker, who pretty much does a play-by-play broadcast during every beatdown, opined that it was really “children’s play” equipment.  And, truthfully, he is probably correct.  But, I have a better question to ponder…Is it too late to rename Bushwacker, “Jim Henderson”, the F3 play-by-play announcer????  I think it would suit him well.

    Warmup

    20 SSH, BK, HK, WM, GM all IC

    Thang:

    we broke into two groups and alternated excercises across basketball court.

    group 1: plank, reverse plank, plankjack, burpees, hand release merkins, squats

    group 2: run the length of basketball court, line drills, lunge walks, bear crawls, run backwards, shuffle sideways.

    mosey to “workout equipment”

    pullups, hand release merkins, freak nasties.

    reverse “australian” pullups.

    Mary:

    FK, HD, Rosalitas, putins, feet to heaven, leg raises, LBCs, more FK, more putin.

    countarama, nameorama, thanks to the Bushhhhwacker for praying us out

    Thanks guys for making me a better man and getting off the the great start to the week.

     

     

  • Mastering the 8-Count

    Warm Up: Toe Touches, Good Mornings, Windmills, SSH’s, Toy Soldiers, Seal Jacks, Sister MK’s, all IC at or around 20x.

    The Thang:

    Mosey East towards the Lakefront playground, hitting a series of 8-count exercises at each cross street:

    1st 20x 8-Count Bodybuilders

    2nd 15x 8-Count Absolutions

    3rd 10x 8-Count Bodybuilders, 10x 8-Count Absolution

    So the F3 Nation website or – the more frequently visited – Grundy Audited Database (GAD for short) says that a wise Q will introduce the 8-count cadence for the exercise known as Absolution, but then “instruct the PAX to do the exercise OYO, lest he give the impression of weakness.”  Well, YHC has never been accused of being wise and this group of men has certainly already seen me act weak (ahem… the high-pitched squeal as Captain Sparkles emerges from the bushes), so… time to forget one’s pride and school the Q in mastering the 8-count!

    The thing is, the 8-count isn’t actually that difficult.  So really, this was more of an excuse to wreck the PAX early on, which seemed to have worked.  (At the very least, it wrecked this here Q.)

    A few 10-counts later, we arrived at the playground and split into partners for a little routine up the tallest “hill” in Old Mandeville.  These sort of rigorous elevation changes would be good training for those running the Blue Ridge Relay this fall.  Here’s what we did:

    P1 does squats, P2 run-walks (aka, lunge walks) up to the swingset pad and back.  Flapjack.

    P1 does merkins, P2 bear crawls up and back.  A little slippery this morning.

    P1 does lunges, P2 frog jumps up and back.

    And finally, P1 does Freak Nasties, P2 does an 80% sprint around the perimeter.

    A few more 10-counts sprinkled throughout, and we’re onward to the back of the baseball field, which had a lot of action for 0700.  Gearing up for an early morning game, the PAX got to watch some kids practice their swings, and also witness the slowest-ever flag raise while we planked up and one by one (or two by two, I suppose) hit the pull-up bars for 8 pull-ups.  The 2nd round was 4 pull ups, and the flag had still only made it to half mast.  Did a round of 25x IC Mountain Climbers, but still didn’t get to see that flag hit the top.  Oh well, can’t plank forever.  Time for an Indian Run back to the flag.

    T-Claps to Low Nays who overcame the strong urge to splash some merlot and made it back to the flag for some Mary: (all IC) Flutter Kicks x20, Leg Raises x 15, Putins x20, Jane Fondas/QuickPulses/Heel-to-Knees x20 each leg.

    Countdown, nameorama, announcements (Sign up for the Classic!  Sign up to Q!), and The Manny led us out in prayer.  Thank you guys for the push to be a better man, and for a truly great start to the weekend.

  • Solo I Roll-O

    I came

    I saw (no other PAX)

    I rolled

    On my own, I did the half route of 3.2 miles. Without the obscenely slow Shooter or Steve weighing me down, I was able to keep a respectable 8.17/minute mile pace. Crescent City Classic immortality, here I come!

    Ben Todd

    37

    Bush WACKA!

  • “Hello Dolly!” or is it “Rosalita!”

    YHC arrived with the return of Waterpik awaiting in the Gloom. Fresh off a trip to NY. We started some chatter about his experience while away. It appears there is a play named “Hello Dolly” that the pik and his M took in on there trip. All along one might think F3 had created the term or redefined its meaning of sorts, which the latter must certainly be correct. Simply put, I don’t think the play in NY was based on grown men laying on their backs and swinging out there legs in cadence. Although that may be appealing and theatrical in a place like NY. After all it is a big city with many different walks of life and one would never know what to expect or SWING into in such a place.. Maybe her name was “Rosalita!” Who really knows? Either way with Steve rolling up right on time, we get after it starting with a little warmup before our journey on this cool below 50 degree Gloom. 20 IC SSH, 10 IC GM, 20IC WM and 10IC Ws (chewy), which amount to what seems to be a reverse shrug compressing the upper back muscles. With headlights approaching the PAX is soon joined by the Choppa right before our departure.

    thang

    QIC explains to the PAX that we will be incorporating intervals of 30 second burst starting at 20 percent, 30 percent, etc. etc. increasing through the run till the final burst. We went after it at 100 percent completing the last as a sprint to the finish.  Now it did feel fitting to skip the 90 percent since we started with the 20 instead of 10. So in all when complete we totaled 8 intervals. YHC quickly realized on the last interval that Waterpik runs similar to the shifting of a CVT transmission.  His pace just continued to climb with no shift point and no chance of getting passed with a passing gear applied by the Q.

    Nice finish Waterpik!!

    Arriving with 15 to spare we head to the playground to tackle the ISI challenge of the day (1 min pull-ups) Upon completion we hit the deck for Spider man Merkins each leg totaling 10 in all. Then we take to our six for Mary. First we do hip raise hold better known as wife pleasers. Q implemented a 3 count hold at the top to 15. Next we did 15IC FK, 15IC Hello Dollies and closed with 15IC Rosalitas..

    count off, announcements, COT

    Appreciate Choppa for taking us out in prayer!!

    Always enjoy the lead gentleman!

  • Another day at the Office

    Another beautiful morning at The Gipper and another beat down in the books.

    Warmup of lateral lunges, airplanes, seal jacks, squats and forward lunges.  All 20x IC.

    Mosey to the Justice Center for some 11s.  Merkin/Shoulder Taps combo at the bottom of the stairs, In and Out Squat Jumps at the top.

    Recovery walk to the Justice Center benches.  Lateral shuffle between two bookend benches with a lateral step up at each bench.  5 trips OYO.  Then back to lateral steps ups 7x IC, cross over lateral step ups 15x IC, then regular lateral step ups again 8x IC.

    Back to the Justice Center entrance for our ISI AMRAP Challenge of the day:  how many Merkins can you do in one minute?  So simple, yet not so easy.

    Circuitous mosey up and down the Justice Center parking garages ramps and stairs before heading back to the shovel flag, the PAX hitting some short accelerations along the way on the command of “sprint” and some soccer headers on the command of “jump.”

    Mary of windshield wipers 20x IC, Nolan Ryans 20x IC each side, Jane Fondas 10x IC each side, and 45 degree leg raises 10x IC.

    Moby Dick, still on IR but almost ready to get back in the game, joined the PAX for our countorama, nameorama, and Einstein’s prayer.

    Thanks for letting me lead, guys.  I always look forward to Wednesday morning at The Gipper with you.

     

  • I got a fever……

    T-Claps to the south shore and north shore pax who completed the Tough Mudder. The mumble chatter is that no obstacles were skipped and major injuries were avoided.  The mothership at the Lakefront was 5 strong including Rev Socks and Hog Sickle from the south shore. Honorable mention the Hog Sickle’s dad who took the ride to the north sore. He got in over 5000 steps during the beatdown!!!

    Warm-Up

    20 SSHs IC, 20 Windmills IC, 20 Toe Touches IC, 20 IWs IC, 20 Butt Kicks IC, 20 High Knees IC, 10 forward arm rolls IC (baseball) – rinse and repeat in reverse, 10 forward arm rolls IC (basketball) – rinse and repeat in reverse, 20 Overhead Claps IC

    COWBELL DISCLAIMER

    Those of you who made it to Ei’s Crazy Ivan on the North Shore saw the debut of the cowbell. It made it to the beatdown this past Saturday. Every time you hear the cowbell ring, all paxs drop and do ten burpees. After you ring the cowbell, you bestow the cowbell to another pac and they ring it at their discretion. The goal was to complete 100 burpees by the end of the beatdown. Mission Accomplished!!!!!

    Mosey…

    Indian Bear Crawl

    All paxs line up in a single file line in the planc position. The pac at the front of the line starts doing merkins IC while the pac at the end of the line bear crawls to the front. Rinse and repeat until you get to pre-designated destination.

    Indian Lunge Walk

    Once you get to the pre-designated destination from the Indian Bear Crawl, all paxs turn around and stay in the single file line. Pac at the front of the line starst doing squats IC while the pac at the end of the line lunge walks to the front. Rinse and repeat until you get to the original starting point.

    Mosey…..

    Heavy Bag Pull and Carry

    All paxs line up facing “The Shaft” holding the Al Gore. First pac, sits on ground and pulls a 75 foot rope that is attachd to a 45lb heavy bag. Once the heavy bag gets to pac, pac picks it up and runs with it  it back to the starting position next to “The Shaft.”  Drop it and assume the planc position until all pacs are finished.

    Mary

    25 LBCs IC, 25 Puttins IC, 25 Leg Lifts IC, 25 Flutter Kicks IC

    Mosey to Cazebo

    Freak Nasty Step Up Super Set

    10 Freak Nasties IC, 10 left leg step ups IC, 10 right leg step ups IC- Rinse and repeat three times adding 5 reps to each exercise every set

    On the final mosey to the flag, we were left with 10 burpees to get reach our goal. I thought that Rev Socks was going to sabotage the mission, but he did not dissapoint. Turbo did not dissapoint either by changing his last 10 burpees into slurpees by doing them in a large puddle left by the torrential rain from Friday. Way to embrace the suck Turbo.

     

    COT – Prayed out by THE Manny – Coffetteria afterwards

     

     

     

     

  • A CSAUP Convergence in the Mud

    Well, the day was finally upon us. With a 50% chance of rain it was anybody’s guess what the weather would do. But when it’s called Tough Mudder, either way is good. The clown cars converged at NOLA Motor Park and the clowns met up just inside the official Tough Mudder grounds. The southshore boys called a last minute audible.With Fracsac having to pull out, Cowbell, was and easy EH to grab his spot. Speaking of last minute, YHC pulled up to the meeting spot to see that none other than the elusively nomadic Butt Splice had joined the party, having bought his ticket yesterday.

    Due to the race being 12 mud-filled miles long, not to mention this guy’s exhausted brain, I won’t list all the obstacles, but give a greatest hits and honorable mentions overview.

    Like ripping off a band aid, the 1st obstacle thrown at us was Kiss of Mud 2.o, involving an army crawl under barbed wire through the soupy mud. Butt Splice was fully submerged and in heaven!

    The Hero Carry obstacle (which was much easier the 1st time around) found us carrying our partner about 50 or so yards, then switching for the next 50. Strategically speaking we tried to match up size-wise with Steve/Tanked Up, Butt Splice/Gabrielle, Shooter/Walleye, Bushwacker/Ocho (had I only known this deceptively sized man was actually heavier than the solid Shooter, I might have chosen more wisely), and Reluctant Yankee/Cowbell. Jingle Vader paired up with a random to complete the obstacle.

    Much better acquainted, the fun continued.

    Somewhere along the way, we chanced on a solo mudder who by some stoke of good fortune joined our  regal ranks on this muddy mission. This bald bruiser (sorry the alliteration is addictive) was visiting Nawlins with his lovely wife (who was a loyal spectator) from Chattanooga, TN. An easy Eh and a great F3 fit to round the crew out at 12.

    There were more muddy water-filled pits, walls, hay bales, nets and unpredictable terrain in store for our daring band of F3 brothers. The course lent itself to some quality mumble chatter that added to the intrinsic appreciation of the experience. Speaking of mumble chatter, between Gabrielle and Ocho’s slew of  salacious interactions with random members of the fairer sex, I’m surprised we didn’t walk away from the course with our own fan club. Or better yet, a new cadre of FIA recruits!

    Not that we didn’t all have an appreciation for the females we ran into. A bunch of us made a new friend in a medical assistant at the Trench Warfare obstacle when we gave her a big F3 group hug, sharing all the muddy goodness we had to offer…especially Ocho.

    There were back busting back flips and reverse swan dives at the Shawshank obstacle. This one was quite refreshing!

    At Everest 2.0 we joined the waiting crowd in an attempt to scale the slick quarter pipe and, with the assistance of the previous victors, to mount the 15′ summit. In an attempt to get up quickly and help some folks, F3 and otherwise, YHC skirted the waiting onlookers and made a few unsuccessful shots at the top. In between tries, many, especially the tall gents, were making it look like child’s play. I returned to the fold to find Ocho back on the ground after having already made the ascent. Butt Splice had inadvertently pulled him back down as he tried, in vain, to make it up. With the brilliant Walleye extending his lengthy arms towards the next contestants, the guys one by one made it up. After an embarrassingly  high number of failed tries, this now bruised and battered Q joined his comrades in victory.

    Anyone who knows anything about the tough mudder knows that that one of the most anticipated , and feared, obstacles is the Electroshock! While most of us caught a shock or 2, poor Shooter, who had almost made it through with only 1 zap, took a shot that rung his bell. Being St.Patty’s day, the luck of the Irish must have been shining on Steve, Reluctant Yankee and Jingle Vader (hope I got that right), because they got through scott free. We were all entertained as we prepared to move on by a bald, hardcore ranter who got tagged in the face and many other places as he worked his way through – SON OF A BITCH!

    At the last obstacle, Happy Ending, we ran into fellow F3 Saxon who, along with Jesse from Chattanooga, Ocho, and Butt Splice, formed the base and extension of our human ladder that helped a lot of recently rinsed fools get to the top. Eventually we retrieved our magnanimous brothers and slid down the other side to cross the finish line, arms locked.

    As we gathered post-race with out victory beers (and recovery drinks) in hand to close out with a COT, we were in a unique and enviable position to name an out-of-state FNG. Welcome Big Easy to the F3 Nation! We hope he returns to Chattanooga and hits up one of the 5 area posts up that way. Thanks to Butt Splice for his emotionally aroused prayer to take us out.

    Gentlemen, despite some bumps and bruises this was an extraordinary adventure, and I am blessed to have taken the journey with each of you. Many thanks for following my lead to the starting line today.

  • The Almighty EH

    With a 12 mile, obstacle-filled mud fest of a CSAUP awaiting the men of F3 saturday morning, this particular man knew a 4:45am 10k would not be high on his priorities. However, a simple “maybe-ish” text to one half of “The Northshore Core”, Shooter, was enough to stoke the irrepressible flames of the EH. Somehow, after just brief digital exchange, YHC found himself roped in as though he had signed up to Q himself rather than offering to cover for Captain Sparkles (Captain Sparkles =EiEi, but that’s a different backblast).

    With a chance groupme comment by the long lost Pelican offering similar intentions as I, YHC felt compelled to sic the EH master on him. SUCCESS! 3 sets of headlights ended up simultaneously rolling down Jackson St. to converge at the Cove.

    Today’s 10k was, indeed, and educational experience. So to recap, what did we learn?

    1. There’s no readily apparent excessive benefit to a Disney cruise over a non-Disney cruise.

    2. LBCs are a great way to break up the monotony of a long run.

    3. Though a man may keep mum about your over exaggeration of accomplishment, NEVER misrepresent that your HALF beat his WHOLE.

    4. Self-employment tax sucks!

    5. Shooter wins the gold medal for EH.

    6.Garfield can put the best of us to secret running shame.

    7. The Pelican is Japanese!

    8. Bushwacker suffers from Foot-In-Mouth disease.

    9. Small grown men drive small grown cars (but they sure are fun!)

    Class dismissed

  • Long Lost Pelican and the Ubiquitous Captain

    As the latest CSAUP is nigh upon us, 3 of the bold participants gathered in the frigid gloom to do what we do here in F3, for ourselves and for our brothers -get the heart rates up and micro-tear a little muscle. You see, the thing about obstacle races is that there’s a lot of running, but its broken up intermittently by various physical challenges. And so, in a mildly similar fashion we proceeded to scramble.

    After seeing the important-yet-forgotten dimension of fitness that Chewy has brought back with his recent Qs, I decided to start things off with some intentional ballistic stretching. Once we got going, the idea was that at random moments YHC would say STOP! and call out an OYO exercise for the PAX to knock out. The 1st instance was 25 merkins within the 1st block of our run. A couple of blocks later came 25 squats. Next was 10 burpees. With the power of the pied piper, I reversed the usual route, taking us to sunset point 1st. At the end of the pier we jumped on the benches for 25 calf raises. Our boisterous activity spooked a pelican perched on the rail, who found another section of rail closer to shore. The pelican may have gone away, but we knew he couldn’t STAY away (Where you at Pelican?)

    Now, YHC finds, and the PAX would certainly concur, that our F3 runs are enjoyable spans of time based , especially, on the the company of our F3 brothers. This morning that could not have been more true for the sudden and abruptly unexpected appearance of Captain Sparkles, who, dressed in his fisherman’s finest, jumped out from behind a bush with a loud AAAAGGGHH! as we cleared the end of the pier. While Shooter and I were certainly given a bit of a shock, poor Steve, who was closest to the perp,  barely escaped the experience with clean drawz LOL. A life-long fireman, Sparkles had to  flex his pranking muscles before he shoved of with Turtle and a group of guys making for an off-shore fishing trip.

    Having recovered our sensibilities, we stopped for 50 LBCs (DISCLAIMER: events may or may not have happened in the exact order YHC currently recalls). Upon exiting the sunset point gates, we took advantage of a 2 foot tall section of concrete to grab 25 incline merkins. Along the subdivision loop we knocked out 25 toes touches to stay at our peak of nimbleness. At some point Shooter’s off hand comment having something to do with “core” and “back” inspired 25 supermans. And finally, at Florida (Hwy 190) we dropped to the invitingly soft grass for 25 heal pulses (heals to heaven).

    After proper consideration, we decided to shut things down officially before moving on to anything else with COT: count-o-rama, name-o-rama, announce-o-ramma, and prayer-o-ramma (thank you Steve). I always enjoy my F3 beat downs, but there’s something appreciably special when I get to experience it with, what could arguably be considered the true core of the northshore, Steve and Shooter. Thank you gentlemen for following this pied piper’s little ditty in this star-filled gloom – the honor is all mine.

    AND THEN…

    LAGNIAPPE: 3 ISI participants can’t walk away without knocking out the challenge of the day. Specifically, 1 minute decline plank followed immediately by 1 minute of derkins….followed immediately by 3 strong, proud, adult fathers collapsed in heaps on the pine needle-covered ground. good times!

  • Mid-Month AMRAP Recap

    At a cool 38° and with the Ides of March approaching, it wasn’t a Shakespearean betrayal that had YHC worried – it was what miserable AMRAP challenge would Turbo come up with next?  So 14 days in, I figured we’d sprinkle a few of the past challenge exercises (italicized below) throughout today’s beatdown as a reminder of this month’s short but effective doses of pain.

    Warm-Up: Good Mornings x15, IW’s x20, Windmills x15, SSHs x25, 8-Count Bodybuilders x15, Shoulder Taps x25, all IC.

    The Thang: First and foremost, mosey to the back of the Justice Center to knock out today’s challenge before our legs were jello (gotta keep those numbers up!): 90 seconds of one-legged curb hops (45 secs each leg).  Kevin Costner and Woody Harrelson were somewhere around the block in downtown Covington this morning, starring as two Texas Rangers on the hunt for Bonnie and Clyde.  Had they seen Turbo perform his one-legged curb hops with his usual sense of ease, he surely would’ve merited a part as a Ranger alongside the two (though, probably one who gets shot down early on in the film).  Is there enough room on the Northshore for two stars of the silver screen?

    Onward to the Veteran Memorial for a COP:  Burp n’ Groin, Burpees with ascending groiners after the merkin, up to 10x. As the PAX has noticed, groiners have become my new go-to.  Out with the old (Sayonara Bulgarians!), in with the new.

    Animal Walk on the grass back to the rear of the Justice Center: Bear Crawl, Monkey Humpers x20 IC, Duck Walk, Monkey Humpers x20 IC, Crab Walk, Frog Jumps x10 (forward and back)

    Next up, an AMRAP run up the rear justice center walkway: 10x Hand Release Merkins at the starting line, 10x derkins at first set of benches, alternating one-legged Freak Nasties x10 at second set, and up the stairs for 10x Butt Kick Jumps.  Reverse, hitting those same stations until reaching the starting point.  Rinse and repeat for approx. 8 mins.  (Hitting the derkins station for the 3rd time and facing a slab of concrete with weakened arms was a good reminder that YHC had forgotten the disclaimer.)

    Finally, plank up and wait while each man takes a turn sprinting the corridor, up the stairs and back.

    YHC wanted to return to the flag for and get in a few minutes of Mary, but alas, out of time.  Greeted at the flag by a nearly fully-recovered Moby, who is looking rested and slim!  Countdown, nameorama, and Shooter prayed us out.  T-claps to Turbo for reminding us to sign up to Q – if you haven’t already, please do.  Let’s get this next month all locked up.  Thanks for the opportunity to lead guys!