Conditions: Clear and 60 degrees. Humidity 63%. Wind 7 m/h from the North
Pax: Belloq, Bolt, Fast Tax, Frac, Hand Grenada, Klinger, PVC, Yankee, Tiny Dancer, Triple, War Eagle, and YHC
It started when I realized that HG was way over the workout requirement, but didn’t have enough Qs to get his name on the bat. Leading a workout is not a problem for HG. He’s a great leader. His problem is that he never signs up to Q on the website. He just kind of appears each week, coming from somewhere beyond the railroad tracks with a cup of coffee in hand. We assume he lives over there somewhere on the other side of the tracks. We’re not sure if he has a car or even a house for that matter. He clearly has access to coffee and some type of precise instrument for keeping time, as he always appears within 15 seconds of the start of the workout.
So working off the premise that he doesn’t have a computer, I scheduled five Qs for him so he can get his name on the bat. After the first one, I realized that I would also have to write the backblast. Then he sent me a text (who knew he had a phone?) and said he needed to go to the dentist. I recommended one and then he asked if I could check and see if they had availability on Tuesday at 3:00. Next thing you know I’m receiving calls from people wanting to meet with him on my phone. I reach out to him and he says it might just be easier if he shares his calendar with me online. That way I can just set up the meetings. At this point, I’m starting to think he does have a computer. By the way, he also has a car. I took it in for an oil change last Friday.
While I was at Target this past weekend, picking out Christmas gifts for his wife’s family, I started to get a little upset about the situation. But that changed at this morning’s workout. I realized that HG is not using me as his personal secretary. He is seeking my guidance in every aspect of his life. He looks to me as a mentor. Every morning he gets up and reads my Back Blasts, the same way one my start their day with the Meditations of Marcus Aurelius. Since starting F3, HG has worked to commit all of my writings to memory. This morning he reflected on the first two F3 workouts at Pontiff.
The Thang
• Gather at the track and mosey out near the tennis courts for our Warm-Up – This was executed flawlessly by HG.
• Warm-up COP: SSH x 30; Low Slow Squats x 20; Merkins x 15; Imperial Walkers x 25; Mountain Climbers x 20; X-fit Push-ups x 10 – Here HG abbreviated some of the exercises. He only did 10 merkins in a two count cadence. At this point Triple Shift pointed out – the back blast had more merkins and if you read the teachings of Hawg, you can infer that they were done using a four count cadence. It please YHC to see that HG is not the only man meditating on my writings.
• Mosey to the Rock Pile and select your rock, then mosey with your rock to the flag football field for the next COP – Good execution here, although he went to the actual football field.
• Rock COP: Squat and Press x 12; Cusak Squats x 7, Shoulder Press x 12; Curls x 12, Hot Foot left leg x 12; Hot Foot right leg x 12 – HG went a little of script here. He dropped the Shoulder presses and the Hot foots, opting instead for chest presses and more squats. We did 12 reps of all exercises in the first round, then he added another round of 10 reps each.
• Mosey Cusak style to the restrooms – watch out for tree roots – The execution here started out well, but I think he got lost at the end of the parking lot and ended up at the pump instead of the bathrooms. This was also out of order.
• People’s chair with rock in lap x 20 seconds; Stay in People’s Chair and do 5 Chest Presses IC; Rinse and Repeat. Grab your rock and head for some light. – Excellently executed by HG. He actually added an additional 2 rounds to impress the ladies on the track.
• Lunges with Rock 10 strides; 5 burpees OYO; Lunge back to starting position with rock; 5 more burpees OYO. Pile the rocks. – This was replaced with a pearl from the first Rock City workout. We spider-man crawled 10 yards, did 5 burpees, repeated and sprinted to the other side. We then did the same thing using lunges.
• Boss Keane’s Rock Pile: Spread out in arms length next to Boss Keane’s rock pile. In cadence, first man picks up a rock and sets it down between him and the next man. Continue until rock pile has been moved to the end of the line. HG brought back one of Amnesty’s favorites here. Only a few pax have done this before and it showed. HG chose not to count it in cadence. The pax were just grabbing rocks and tossing them to the side. PVC and Bolt showed no regard for the shoeless pax among us. Once the rock pile was moved, HG did make us move it back. Although I was disappointed he didn’t count it in cadence, I was impressed by his embodiment of Boss Paul
• Come to find out, that is not where Boss Keane wanted his rock pile…move it back – We did this, but not impressively.
• I thought I said to move Boss Keane’s rock pile…Yes Boss – Skipped it.
• What’s Boss Keane’s rock pile doing over here – I don’t know boss – Move it back. – Skipped it.
• Mosey to the hill and drop off your rock. Extended Mosey to baseball field for 6 MOM. – We kept our rocks and did mary by the pump.
• 6 MOM: Crunchy Frog x 15; LBC x 30; Russian Twist x 20; Freddy Mercury x 30; Ran out of time before he got to the Freddy Mercuries. Other wise it was perfect. Given the political climate of 2022 compared to 2014, HG led us in American Hammers as opposed to Russian Twist.
• Mosey back to the hill (running over it this time) Grab a rock and take it back to the rock pile. Mosey (horse to barn style) back to the shovel flag for COT – Dropped the rocks off at the pile and sprinted to the flag.
HG lead us in prayer to close it out. He did a great job today. I’m proud to be this young man’s mentor.
