F3 New Orleans

Tag: Cardinal

  • Surprise! It’s a Cinder Block! – from Goose

    YHC arrived later than a Q should, and Cardinal and Roughneck were just starting to compose a lament to top the one I wrote last Monday after being jilted at The Stage. So, YHC hurriedly threw open the tailgate and said, “Grab a coupon,” missing the blank look on Roughneck’s face that would have reminded me that he’s never attended a coupon beatdown before. I usually deliver a pitch acknowledging the awkwardness of running, squatting, gripping, adjusting, etc. with a cinder block, and raving about the benefits of all that it entails (both interior and exterior), but in my haste, the pitch wasn’t given, and Roughneck was left trying to figure out the “right way” to do it all. YHC gave some pointers as far as using your legs, saving your back, etc., but the vision for just raw “gettin’ it done” and the benefits of muscle confusion and getting strong in ways you wouldn’t in the gym was left unsaid until the very end. But, again, Roughneck stepped up and powered it out with the help of the ever relatable, always willing Cardinal.

    Warmup of the usual with a mosey to the bumper and back.

    Thang 1: 11’s
    One end was the stop sign closest to the bumper, and the other end was the next light post. Curls at one end and goblet squats at the other; rifle carry there, and random coupon carry back between the two.

    Thang 2: Keep it Movin’!
    Round 1–While Partner 1 did continuous sets of 5 tricep presses, 5 block situps, and 5 block swings (kettlebell style), Partner(s) 2 executed the ol’ block and bear (bear crawl while dragging the block forward from between the legs every couple of steps) to the benches and back.
    Round 2–Partner 1 did the same continuous aforementioned exercises, but Partner(s) 2 traversed the field and back using Murder Bunnies as the mode of transportation.

    Short Mary filled the remaining two minutes with leg raises, and hello dollies.

    COT w/discussion about the relationship between F3 and cinder blocks, and about the awesome growth in popularity of the Tuesday beatdowns in Houma. YHC prayed us out with gratitude for awesome weather and awesome brotherhood.

    Till next gloom,
    Goose

  • The Dawn of Darth Kilo – from Kilo

    As YHC was prepping for his VQ the night before, an all-out manhunt was conducted in search of Lifejacket. The search spanned far and wide from the deserts of Tatooine, to the seas of Kimino, and finishing in the dreaded lava rivers of Mustafar. The treacherous search bore no fruit. YHC concluded the search with the solemn realization that Lifejacket had vanished like a cowardly sidekick when it came time for its dual against the legendary duo, Anker and JBL. YHC made his concessions and altered his plans as necessary.

    YHC pulled up at The Peltch to 6 eager, yet cautious, PAX. They had no idea what was required to properly prepare in advance for Star Wars Day, May the Fourth, but YHC had arrived to show them the way with both a red and a blue lightsaber in hand.

    Warmup: X-Wings (SSH), Darth Mauls (WM), General Grievous (AC), IW, Anakin’s Mom (Self-Love)

    Thang 1:
    Imperial March (High Knee Mosey) to the Thunderdome. Right from the start, this proved to be much more difficult than YHC expected. Worried for what was to come, Paradox made a suggestion to Mos Eisley (Normal Mosey) when it came time to depart the Thunderdome. The merciful YHC took note, but would remember the Imperial March for later use.

    Star Wars Trivia: 15 questions, each with their own exercise. A correct answer decreased that exercise by half.
    • 40 X-Wings
    • 30 Mountain Climbers (2 is 1)
    • 20 Merkins
    • 30 Freak Nastys
    • 30 Jar Jars (flutter kicks)
    • 20 Burpees
    • 30 – second mid plank
    • 40 squats
    • 20 BBS
    • 20 leg raises
    • 60 – second wall sit
    • 30 X-Wings
    • 20 Merkins
    • 30 Freak nastys
    • 30 LBCs
    YHC was generally pleased with the level of Star Wars knowledge held by the PAX, but was thoroughly impressed by Cardinal’s ability to summon the knowledge and wisdom of the Jedi Order when threatened with Burpees.

    Thang 2:
    Mos Eisley (Mosey) to the chimney.

    AT-AT Race (Bear Crawl Race): PAX AT-AT raced back and fourth multiple times between lightsaber markings (about 30 yards apart). This yielded much suffering from the Padawan PAX. Two 10-Counts were necessary to deter mass asphyxiation.

    Thang 3:
    Light Side / Dark Side: (Basically like “Never have I Ever” but begins with “Sith Lords have…”). 10 questions. Sith Lords do full exercise, Jedi do half.
    • Sprint to Chimney
    • 40 X-Wings
    • 20 Burpees
    • 20 BBS
    • 20 Jar Jars
    • 20 Burpees
    • 40 Squats
    • 20 Mountain climbers (2 is 1)
    • 20 BBS
    • 30 – Second MI Plank
    YHC was pleasantly surprised to see that the majority of PAX were on very similar moral ground.

    Mos Eisley through Thunderdome and back to the Flag for a solid 5 minutes of MARY.

    COT and Cardinal prayed us out.

    Thank you for bearing with me on my VQ. I hope it was as enjoyable for all of you as it was for me. Darth Kilo has shown his face…and Darth Kilo will return.

    See You in the Gloom,
    Kilo

  • Holy Saturday and a Visit from a Forefather – from Goose

    As the PAX slowly trickled in at the Peltch on the morning of Holy Saturday, we tried to guess whose car was pulling in as soon as we could see the headlights down the road. But one car mystified us, even as it pulled to a stop in the parking lot–was it another one of Tighty Whitey’s FNG’s showing up nervously without him? Or, was it an overly excited little league coach coming to set up his dugout a few hours early? We were way off. White hair was the first thing to become clear in the gloom, and then a Run Cajun Run shirt–could it be? Yes!! It was Reluctant Yankee! I had the distinct pleasure of directing the following proclamation to the PAX, “Gentlemen, this is the founder of F3 NOLA, and today he has deigned to join us bayou PAX for our humble beatdown at The Peltch.” YHC would have preferred to have some trumpeters, a red carpet, and a scroll to read from, but all we had was Coyote, my 10-year-old 2.0, who rattled off as many F3 terms as he could think of (“fartsack” came up multiple times).
    Ultimately, 12 PAX, including an FNG, were present as we commenced a Holy Saturday themed beatdown.

    Warmup: SSH, WM, AC, Cherry Pickers, IW, high knees, butt kicks

    Thang 1:
    Moseyed to the Thunderdome for a Flora 1, 2, 3 and a couple of songs. The theme was uncomfortable waiting–Jesus is lying dead in a dark, stone tomb, and we’re waiting with him.
    Partnered up for the Flora (waiting in uncomfortable positions while your partner completes his reps):
    1. Partners split 100 dips, each does 10 at a time while the other holds dip position (down).
    2. 200 air presses in people’s chair against the columns, 20 at a time while other holds chair position.
    3. 300 flutter kicks, 30 at a time while other holds legs six inches off the ground.

    Song 1: “While I’m Waiting” by John Waller–held plank for the duration (almost 5 min.) and 3 mountain climbers (2:1) every time he said “Waiting” (90 mountain climbers total). YHC’s calves are still sore.
    Song 2: “The Final Countdown” by Europe–side straddle hops for the duration (over 5 min.) and three Bonnie Blairs (1:1) for every “Final Countdown” (over 50 total).

    Thang 2: Empty Tomb
    When the disciples saw/heard the tomb was empty, the waiting/difficulty wasn’t immediately relieved. There were questions, confusion, running, freaking out, etc. So, the PAX lined up at the first of three cones and completed 20 Chinooks (arm circles over the head) to represent the women freaking out and telling the disciples the tomb was empty, and then sprinted to the second cone to represent to apostles running to the tomb, and then army crawled from there to the third cone (crawling into the tomb to check it out).
    Repeated this 5 times (and gained some souvenir brush burns in the process).
    Then, all PAX ran backward to the last cone and back followed by carioca to the last cone and back.
    Then, partnered up and PAX 1 ran backward from the first cone to the third, and PAX 2 sprinted to try to catch him once he reached the second cone (like Peter trying to catch up with John). Flapjack and then rinse and repeat.

    Indian Run around the park gave YHC a chance to chatter with Yankee a bit about F3 leadership, followed by some substantial Mary at the flag. Tried to include 10 Absolutions, a somewhat complicated 8-count plank exercise, which failed miserably, leading to the obvious lesson that absolution (cleansing from sin) can’t be earned. Other exercises were crunchy frogs, wife pleasers, leg raises, and a couple of other things, I think.

    Count off, name off, and named our FNG Neanderthal–welcome!! Announcements included a push to hop in the clown car headed to the Northshore for the Zoorich Classic this Saturday, and Kilo prayed us out. Thanks, gents, for letting me lead, and huge thanks to Reluctant Yankee for the surprise visit!

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • Lieutenant FNG – from Goose

    YHC pulled up to Lumen Christi this morning to a crowded hill crest–Cardinal brought three FNG’s who were excitedly awaiting the flag planting, and, I think, expecting that they’d probably be able to outperform Cardinal and whatever other old guys who might show up (ha!). The three young’uns are two seminarians and one prospective seminarian, and they certainly showed some interior fortitude this morning by sticking with it the whole time with smiles on their (sweating, dirty) faces.

    Warmup: side straddle hops, windmills, arm circles, cherry pickers, imperial walkers, self-love, and 50 Moroccan Night Clubs IC (waiting for Paradiddle to join–it took a while).

    Thang 1: Lieutentant Dans
    I had to ask the young PAX (only Picadilly is as old as YHC) if they knew who Lt. Dan was. Thankfully, these fellas are cultured, and they were able to pull out the famous quote immediately (“Lt. Dan, you ain’t got no legs.”)
    We moseyed to the bench by the small pond, and starting there, moved toward the last bench on the shore of the big lake using the following mode of transportation: 1 squat to 2 lunge walk steps (2 squats, 4 lunge steps, 3 squats, 6 lunge steps, etc.). It felt successful given the sincere statements of hatred directed toward YHC as we neared the finish line.

    Thang 2: Bench Work
    Gave the legs a break as we squeezed seven medium to large men onto three benches for two sets of 20 freak nasties, 15 irkins, 10 derkins. The form on the dips may have been compromised a bit for the FNG threesome due to the formidable wingspan of the soon to be Uncle Rico.

    Thang 3: F3 Poker
    Figured we’d give the Houma guys a taste of the official F3 Deck of Death–the more we can connect them to the bigger picture of F3, the better! So, YHC dealt 5-card stud, and the winning hand was the workout set for the whole PAX. Got through two hands, and was able to introduce them to Monkey Humpers, Smurf jacks, Chuck Norris merkins, Ranger Merkins, and what 100 side-straddle-hops feel like after doing Lt. Dans.
    For the second of two hands (both won by Picadilly, interestingly), Jokers and Dueces were wild, and the winner included a Joker, which YHC explained should be assigned a ridiculous exercise. So, we ascended the hill via crawl bear (backward bear crawl). The key was to keep the flag in sight between your legs so you don’t veer off, take small steps, and pretend you’re anywhere else but crawling backward up a hill.

    Finished with enough time for some solid Mary: Crunchy Frogs, leg raises, and wife pleasers (since they had been mentioned before as the second most dignified exercise, monkey humpers being number one).

    Count off, name off, and we provided new identities to Donut Day, Econoline, and Uncle Rico–welcome fellas! These guys did a great job pushing themselves for their first beatdown, and we’re looking forward to what God has in store for them!

    See You In the Gloom,
    Goose

  • Am I My Brother’s Keeper? – from Goose

    YHC had an interesting idea that could either be a memorable challenge, chock full of valuable life lessons, or it would be a total cluster, and nothing in between. So, with a record 6 PAX gathered at The Stage in the gloom of a gorgeous morning, we commenced.

    Warmup: SSH, Windmills, Grass Grabbers (deviations from the norm, duly recognized, are always for a reason), Arm Circles, Cherry Pickers, Imperial Walkers, Self-Love

    When YHC requested the assistance of JBL, Paradox informed us that JBL was fartsacking (or “charging”); and this after multiple prompts over the past few weeks to take advantage of JBL: “He’s here for you. He’s always ready to provide deep, booming base, and consistent bluetooth connection. Take advantage of his presence and his audio prowess.” But, alas, the first test of “Am I my brother’s keeper?’ resulted in grave failure. So, the morning’s soundtrack was barely audible on the phone speaker and out of YHC’s control, so there’s no telling what the guys closest to it were subjected to.

    Thang: Total Dependency

    PAX lined up and were instructed to observe the exercise of the man to their right and repeat it. Each man was then responsible for completing and displaying that exercise and communicating the number of reps to the man to their left. YHC was first in line and basically took the PAX through an ascending ladder of exercises (listed below), so there was constant movement and constant need to communicate down the line what exercises came next. Each man could only speak to the man next to him, so one-on-one communication was key.

    At first, there was some confusion as to what each PAX was responsible for communicating. Enron almost let Paradox do 25 burpees instead of 25 mountain climbers because he assumed it was a sort of “telephone” type game where misunderstandings were not corrected, but passed on. (That may have been YHC’s fault for explaining the exercise as “sort of like ‘telephone’”.) But, as the beatdown continued, and reminders to “Take care of your brother!” were repeated, the PAX caught on.

    Exercises were done as an ascending ladder (starting with the first, then the first and second, then the first and second and third, etc.):
    5 Burpees
    10 Merkins
    15 Lunges (2:1)
    20 LBC’s
    25 Mountain Climbers
    30 Second plank (4-count to 30)
    35 American Hammers
    40 Side Straddle Hops
    45 Big Boy Situps
    50 Squats (ran out of time for these)

    After count-off and name-off, YHC explained the lessons learned:

    1. Pain and/or pride typically cause us to focus heavily on ourselves and forget about the men around us. But, here, if we were overly focused on our own rep count or just trying to finish, the man next to us would be completely lost. It required much focus on where he was in the series and when he needed what information to continue. This is immediately applicable to life as a married man and as a father. When we’re overly focused on ourselves, either out of self-pity or pride, the people who depend upon us are left in the dark.

    2. Faith is never truly internalized from an expert to a group. It can be understood intellectually, but for a man to take ownership, he must be accompanied intimately by another who’s in the same boat, who’s been down the same road, and who can give both direction and confidence that it’s doable, it’s real, and it’s worth the struggle. Without this one-on-one accompaniment, faith struggles to escape the world of ideas, and we struggle to escape our own doubts and questions.

    COT, excellent prayer, announcements about the clown car trip to the Northshore beatdown on April 23 (Zoorich Classic) and Percleator having to go back to being a weekend warrior (Nooo!).
    It’s such a privilege to be out there with you, fellas!
    SYITG,
    Goose

  • And, For The Next Round… – from Goose

    Spared once again from forecasted rain, four PAX gathered on another unexpectedly beautiful morning to top the hill and plant the flag at Lumen Christi. YHC had designed this particular beatdown around Paradiddle’s recent comment revealing a desire for more running (and probably less hill crawling). Alas, there was no Paradiddle, but his absence was honored by a beatdown filled with both running and hill crawling.

    Warmup: SSH, Slooooooww Vigodas (after yesterday’s lumberjack trauma), arm circles, cherry pickers, imperial walkers, self-love

    Thang 1: Sticky Ninjas

    YHC had a good time coming up with a new way to move the PAX up and down the hill. With fond memories of those little plastic ninjas with sticky hands and feet that you throw against the wall and watch them crawl/flip down, the PAX made their way down the hill via 180 crawling arcs with one hand or foot fixed in place. Right hand stays put while the rest of the body crawls down in an arc around it; then, left leg, then left hand, etc. Picture bear crawl or plank position, spinning slowly down the hill with one hand stuck in place until a full 180 arc is completed, then switch to the next foot, etc.
    Going down was kind of fun. Going up was a different kind of fun… Definitely keeping that one in the back pocket!

    Thang 2: Round and Round We Go:

    Round 1: While each PAX takes turns running alone around the big lake (about a quarter mile), the rest complete continuous sets of 7 jump squats, 7 merkins, 7 LBC’s. Once all PAX have run…

    Round 2: PAX run two at a time around the big lake, the rest completing continuous sets of 5 burpees, 10 plank jacks, 15 flutter kicks. Once all PAX have run…

    Round 3: Each PAX runs around the lake alone, and the rest complete continuous sets of 15 squats, 10 dying cockroaches, 5 Maktar’s (plank walks). Sent the last two together so we’d have time for the final event.

    Thang 3: Imperial Walker Dance

    For the Duration of “Baba O’Reilly” by The Who, PAX did Imperial Walkers in cadence with the rhythm (some PAX’s rhythm is better than others, especially toward the end). The song lasts exactly 5 minutes, which was enough time for an in-depth lesson on all things CSI from Cardinal. YHC had no idea that all three CSI series used Who songs for the them (Baba O’Reilly was CSI: New York). Cardinal’s favorite is CSI: Miami because the main character is his doppleganger, but with cooler sunglasses.

    COT and prayers for families. It was a great morning! Thanks for being out there, fellas, and for sticking with it!

    See You in the Gloom (SYITG),
    Goose

  • I met a man named Lumber Jack Webb – from Paradox

    “Once I was sad for a PAX who must jog, until I met a PAX who had no log ”
    – Ancient Chinese Proverb

    YHC found inspiration deep in the hardwood bottoms of north La this weekend after a trip to visit parents. A recent storm dropped a fine red oak that needed processing for firewood. While assisting YHCs father in stacking logs the variety of exercises one can accomplish with logs overwhelmed the senses. The PAX need this and they don’t even know it! SUV space was cleared and a 5 hour drive back down south fueled numerous future uses for logarithmic progress. A few hours later….

    A thicker than usual bayou gloom hung over the stage as 5 PAX assembled at the Stage. Glances at the lumber ranged from quizzical (Goose) to pure disgust (Cardinal). Pleasantries were exchanged then we got down to business.

    WARM UP

    SSH, WM, IW, Arm Circles, High Knees, Butt Kicks – Mosey to Bumper Stop Sign to get the juices flowing.

    THANG 1

    YHC instructed everyone to grab a log and circle up . Gave a disclaimer about the lumber discovery and the associated symbolism of a trees strength.

    Song- “Strong Tower” by Kutless. Held Al Gore position during song with Log Jacks (SSH with logs presses) during Chorus.

    Next YHC introduced Lumber Jack Webb….Lets just say Abe Vigoda and Freddy Mercury check under their bed for Lumber Jack Webb. Started with 2 Log raises (OHP w/ logs) and 4 Log Twists (american hammers w/ logs) and advanced by 2/4 every set. Transport in between was via 10 x Log Swap Lunges (held log at chest, swap sides with every lunge). When we got to 16 Raises and 28 twists we descended by 2/4 and circled for home. Respect for Goose and Yankee Joe who selected particularly heavy lumber and kept mumble chatter to a low 7%. Solid effort here.

    THANG 2

    Mini log Dora 123

    1 man has log exercises while 1 man travels to benches and back with Log Tires (high knees while bringing log to same high knee side) and back with Log Flippers (flip log, follow, repeat)

    50 frog log squat presses

    100 Jane Fondas (log up and bring to high knee crunch position)

    150 Lumber Jacks (SSH with log raises)

    Just enough time for Log Mary- Big Boy sit ups with log lifts, Penguins, Log Gas Pumps (nice call Perc!) and Log Wife Pleasers were all completed.

    COT and Cardinal prayed us out.

    Some beatdowns look way better in the caffeine riddled brain of YHC but I think this one came to life as planned. Lumber Jack Webb is now a cajun folk hero and he will return when you least expect him….

    Great discussion post beatdown about not comparing the weight of our burdens with others and instead embracing the suck. A continued theme as we march closer to Holy Week- there is little growth without pain. Continued some excellent discussion about the example of St. Joseph as a family leader during challenging trials.

    Always a joy to lead you out there fellas.

    SYITG

  • TENET – from Percleator

    YHC recently saw the film Tenet. So many questions. How does time inversion work? Who is Neil really? Is Christopher Nolan the greatest director of our time? (Yes). It’s all still unclear. So YHC had the PAX reenact parts of the movie to try and figure it out. Tenet is a palindrome and a theme in the movie is things going forward and going backward.

    Warmup: SSH, AV, AC, CP, BK, HK, Self-Love, IW

    First thang: T.E.N.E.T – Dora style workout but “mirrored”
    50 T – Merkins w/ Run to the Chimney and Nur back
    100 Empirial Walkers (don’t question the spelling) w/ bear crawl then crawl bear
    300 Never Cross Dollies (hello dollies with back off the ground in up crunch position) w/ lunge walk then walk lunge
    100 Empirial Walkers
    50 T- Merkins

    Second Thang: The McGuffin Game – A McGuffin is an object in a movie that exists just to drive the action. Ex: the brief case in Pulp Fiction
    Coupons placed in the middle of field. One member gets the coupon to the other side via murder bunnies. Opposing team member runs to one end of the field, 15 Maktar Njais, run to other end, 15 Freddie Murcurys, then steals the coupon and murder bunnies in the opposite direction. Getting the coupon to your side earns a point, though after enough running, no one had a real count on the points. 2.0’s ran laps around the field w/ 8 count bb’s, then got to make the PAX perform man-makers. Was it a little confusing? Yes, but so was the movie…

    Last Thang: Tunnel of love, in forward, then reverse. PAX held plank to make a tunnel while members army crawled through one at a time. Once everyone had gone through, reverse army crawl backward through the tunnel. Call back to the tunnel at the end of the movie.

    6+ minutes of Mary: American Hammers, Penguins, Lazy Boys, Australian sweat angels, Nolan Ryans, Flutter Kicks

    Always fun when the PAX doesn’t mind being the guinea pigs. Best bit of mumblechatter at the end:
    YHC: “Well hope y’all liked it.”
    Coyote: “I didn’t.”

    COT and Cardinal prayed us out.
    Thanks for the opportunity to lead.
    SYITG

  • Spring Cleaning – from Paradox

    6 PAX cut their path through the gloom this morning to sharpen iron at the stage. YHC gave a short disclaimer to modify with coupons and check your form on coupon swings.

    WarmoRama: SSH, IW, WM, AC, Cherry Pickers, Self Love, High Knees, Butt Kicks- Bumper/Stop Sign Mosey. (Brief investigation of the CIA van turned out to be a gloom walker, carry on )

    Todays Task was training for Spring Cleaning. The LA spring weather is upon us and with it comes copious amounts of grass cutting, gutter cleaning, attic boxing, and car repairs. Never fear YHC is here to make sure your body is ready.

    THANG 1
    Got into the spirit early with some “Here comes the Sun” by the Beatles. Side plank Reach for the sun during the song with Merkins on “Sun”.
    Followed by a Man Maker tutorial by local F3 Lexicon Specialist/Historian Goose. 7 Man makers followed by track mosey then 6, 5,4 etc. Solid burn here with great discussion on the track.

    THANG 2
    Split into partner groups and everyone was assigned a coupon. (5 official F3 emblazoned Coups, and 1 unlicensed Cindy). Lined up and completed partner duo Spring Cleaning practices:
    1. Mow the Lawn: One to cut the grass, One to flip the clippings in your neighbor’s yard: 1 man takes coupon via rifle carry to halfway cone and does 5 coupon rows, benchmark and 5 more rows then rifle carry back. All while 2nd partner is doing coupon swings.
    2. Restock the kitchen: Your M called and wants all the toxin Debbie cakes out of the house for that spring diet. Time for a grocery run. Everyone knows you only need 1 trip. Farmer carry 1 side coupon, switch at bench, farmer carry back. While partner puts those groceries away with Squat jumps.
    3. Get Attic decorations: time to put up the 3 week old mardi gras boxes and look for the easter bunnies in the carnage you left in the attic crawl space after Christmas. 1 man does coupon overhead presses to “lift boxes” while the other lunge walks to the cone and back. Must have balance on that rickety attic ladder.
    4. Time to change the oil. Slide under that 2011 GMC and get a greasy oil pan: 1 man Coupon bench presses while the partner goes to change the inspection sticker at the DMV- sprint to outhouse, mosey back.

    Wrapped this one up with just enough time for Mary- Dolphin Hops and Penguins

    COT – Prayers for Ukraine, those travelling to Archbishop installation
    Perc prayed us out.

    Great to have Wet Tap back in the early group. Yankee Joe is becoming a regular and YHC can see the beatdown fever is setting in. His VQ will be upon us soon.

    Great effort and solid Monday morning posting fellas

    A privilege as always.

    SYITG

  • The Louisiana PureChest: Life, Liberty, and the Trivial Pursuit of Alligator Merkins – from Paradox

    The mindset: After a few months of baptism by fire beatdowns at the Stage YHCs first Peltier Park Q was set with great anticipation. Was the confidence there? Was my cadence on point? Enough props? What if it rains? Will Cardinal ask fine print questions? Will Goose undoubtedly question my form? The questions swirled as I pulled up to the peltch on a lovely spring morning. The JBL was charged. The props were set. Now just add PAX and its gumbeaux time.

    The mission: Take the PAX on a geographical, historical and cultural journey through the time and space of Louisiana history while giving multiple muscle systems two options: Fight or Run.
    The Pax: An impressive display of Gentleman with scattered 2.0s to make up 13.
    The warmup: 18 for all IC- (LA joined the US as the 18th state) SSH, IW, WM, Cherry Pickers, Self Love, High Knees, Butt Kicks
    Disclaimer was given for those recently minted PAX and reminders of modifications and safety were given for all. Lets get to it.

    THANG 1
    Mosey to the Thunder dome for a Cajun classic warm up. Louisiana Saturday Night- Tin Soldiers the entire song, Bonnie Blairs (boths sides) on “Louisiana Saturday Night”. We got down the fiddle, we got down the bow but most of all we danced in the kitchen.

    Next YHC explained that the LA Purchase doubled the size of the US. I could not gift the men land but I did promise a certified Louisiana PureChest after todays beatdown merkin variety (I worked on this dad Joke for months and the laughter was minimal, PAX were lazer focused). We assumed ring of Fire formation and completed 100 incline merkins, 75 Decline merkins, and 50 diamon merkins.

    Capped this off with Calling Baton Rouge just to make sure everyone had the juices flowing. High knees during whole song, Burpee on “Baton Rouge”, “Operator”, and “Louisiana”.

    THANG 2
    Mosey to the Football field for the Main event: Paradox Trivia. 4 cones set up 25 yards apart in a square. Each corner would be a trivia question. If correct we complete the associated exercise (see below). If incorrect we complete the exercise plus the punishment by traveling to the middle gumbo pot. When we arrive at the gumbo pot the PAX make a group decision to take 5 burpees or pick from the pot. (soon to learn the pot had some extra bay leaves). Mode of travel between all corners is 10 alligator merkins followed by bear crawls. Disclaimers: YHC used a childrens LA history website and Wikipedia for all sources and discrepancies were dismissed immediately.

    1. Who is LA named after? King Louis 14- Wide Merkins- Correct!
    2. How long is the causeway bridge? 24 miles. No mercy for 23.6 miles so the PAX had the first incorrect. (YHC wanted to test the gumbo pot). 50 SSH were selected and performed.
    3. How many parishes in LA? Local Theologian Goose came in strong with 64 and saved the PAX. 64 shoulder presses in squat position.
    4. Edwin Edwards # of terms and prison years? 4 terms, 8 prison years. Incorrect so we did 8 prisoner squats and alligatored to the pot for a selection. 10 diamond merkins
    5. How much $ for LA purchase? Pope came in with early correct answer (15 million) BUT was questioned by the PAX. Learned a lesson about listening to the quiet confidence in a group. PAX selected 17 million and paid with a trip to the gumbo pot for 15 carolina dry docks.
    6. NO is how far below sea level? 8 feet: 8 Jump squats. Pax guessed 12 and took another gumbo trip. This time fear of the spice was growing, and PAX accepted the 5 burpee offer.
    7. Highest point in LA? Mount Driskell- 535 ft. PAX got this correct and unlocked a special Paradox challenge. JBL whipped up a tune and the pax were instructed to start mountain climbers. If they can guess the song, artist, AND movie the song was played in they would reduce the pain to 1 minute. In a moment of pure astonishment our beloved parish priest came through with “miley Cyrus, The Climb andddd The Hannah Montana Movie” only 10 seconds into the work. Cardinal is truly gifted at reducing the pain for the PAX at all costs, even embarrassment.
    8. Name the distinguishing characteristics of alligator vs crocodile? Answered correctly and we advanced for the last set of alligator merkins.
    9. This LA animal recently transitioned from Endangered to Threatened list: La black bear. This pax again got this one down and earned bear crawls to the next cone.
    10. Official state song of LA: you are my sunshine. Enron shamed 318 by labeling Jefferson Davis as the artist of the song but quickly corrected to Jimmy Davis. (all is forgiven). YHC showed off some rather shakey sunshines (seated position with hands behind head and touching elbow to the ground) and an even shakier cadence. Promise I will shelf that one for a while
    11. Official boat of LA: Correct- Pirogue- 25 Scuba steves
    12. LA state dog: Correct- Catahoula leopard dog: 13 carolina dry docks
    13. La state fruit: Correct – Strawberry- alternate 25 superman and banana boats

    Circled up for the FINISHER***
    The Cajun Classic “Jumbalaya” with burpees on Bayoooo, calf raises on the rest.

    Mosey back to the flag for COT and Cardinal prayed us out.

    Moleskin: This one produced some great mumble chatter as the PAX worked on communication to get a “final answer”. Learning that correct answers can often come with early confidence from some of the younger or less experienced voices.

    An absolute joy to bring this one together and share it with the PAX.
    The opportunity to lead you men is a blessing.

    SYITG