F3 New Orleans

Tag: Cardinal

  • “If you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything” – from America’s Best

    Disclaimer: Those who have admitted to not seeing “Back to the Future” may some may experience significant shade during this backblast. Reader discretion advised.

    YHC loves time travel. Whether it melts your brain (Primer), or rots your brain (Hot Tub Time Machine), YHC will watch it. And in most of these tropes, there are plenty of numbers, pseudoscience, and doing something, going back (Jack) and doing it again– much like an F3 beatdown.
    And so today, just after the 68th anniversary of the day Doc Brown hit his head on his toilet and devised the Flux Capacitor, the PAX joined the ranks of Bill and Ted, and time travelled.
    The pioneer, at least in YHC’s mind, was Marty McFly, so this beatdown was themed on his first foray into the past.
    We start in present day (1985), will travel to 1955, and then hopefully, back to the present again. As everyone (except Enron) knows, we need two things in order to travel: 88 MPH, and 1.21 Gigawatts.

    Thang 1: Time travel from 1985 to 1955
    M= 0.88 miles
    P= 88 Peter Parkers
    H= 88 Hillbilly Squats

    This was knocked out as we ran/nar, answering random time travel/BTTF trivia (including BTTF music trivia). Montana impressed with his knowledge of the future (2015).
    Upon returning to the flag area, the PAX quickly knocked out a round of 21s (curls) which represented the necessary 1.21 gigawatts of power. And like that, we were in 1955.

    Thang 2: Time travel from 1955 back to 1985
    This is obviously going to be more difficult, as plutonium cannot be purchased at every corner store in 1955.
    88 MPH this time:
    88 Merkins
    88 Parker-Peters
    88 Hydraulic Squats

    This proved to be more time consuming than YHC had planned, so we aborted early and moved to the 1.21 gigawatt portion of 1955. What other way would one achieve 1.21? Blackjack.
    Start on the sideline between picnic tables. Perform 20 coupon curls – run to other tables, perform 1 V-up. Nur back and do 20 coupon curls. Run back for 2 V-ups. Repeat until you do 1 CC and 20 v-ups, running between the sidelines. Always adds up to 21.
    (“ Black Jack” officially calls for Merkins and LBCs, but more Merkins seemed too extreme*, and LBCs seemed to easy. And… I’ll say it… we don’t do enough curls).

    The required effort was great, but the motivation to return to the present was even greater—don’t forget, in 1955 your mother is trying to get in your pants (YHC recently re-watched the film, and this theme is much more disturbing than remembered).

    In the end, ironically, we ran out of time.

    We headed back to the flag for the final trivia question:
    At precisely what time was the clock tower struck by lighting? (and not by a tornado, Enron)
    YHC reminded everyone, that just as in the prior song trivia section, where no answer resulted in 10 merkins, and incorrect answers resulted in 4, this time an incorrect answer (or no answer) will result in 10 merkins, a correct answer, only 4.

    And so we all did 10 Merkins. The correct answer is right there. Right… there.

    Thanks for playing, everyone.

    To be continued . . .

    – Goodbye Goose Get-together Nov 12th at the Enron property
    (undercard event at AB’s house the day before, weather permitting)

    COT and Dox prayed us out.

    …Coda (the end is the beginning is the end):
    YHC ran out of time, but we got it right. We finally got it right. The first 17 times YHC ran this beatdown, tragedy befell the PAX. Once, blinded by poor parking protocol rage, Dox smashed the Prius with such force that it ripped the space-time continuum. *Another time, YHC had programmed merkins for Blackjack, and Enron’s shoulders finally exploded. And then there was the iteration where Tree Root showed up. Luckily, YHC had upgraded his Turo rental DeLorean with the Mr. Fusion attachment, and was able to keep going back and doing it over until we got it (mostly) right.

    “So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.”
    …

  • The Twerkin Merkin – from Safety Valve

    It was another foggy and smoky Monday morning as YHC arrived earlier than usual at The Stage to set up for the beat down. After the last few Monday’s, YHC did not have much hope for a large showing. That seemed to be true as I stand there… all alone… at 5:10am. There was a back-up beat down planned as well just in case of low numbers. Then, as if Moses parted the sea and the Thudercats united from every which way, 5 of the PAX joined and the original beat down could be enjoyed.

    Warmaramma
    SSH
    Imperial walkers
    Willy Mayes Hayes
    Mountain climbers
    Cherry pickers
    Arm circles

    Thang 1
    1 mile run
    That is all. Just a run. For a mile. No motives. No ridiculous mumblechatter. No burpees. Just running with a group of guys and our own thoughts.

    Just as we were starting to enjoy the quiet calm run, a dark figure appeared from a dark alley and at first YHC thought we were about to be mugged. All that could be seen from a distance was a silhouette of the perfection of pectorals, biceps, thighs and calfs. Then YHC thought there was only one person in the world with that physique. Tap sprinted rich man’s loop to catch up with us and joined in the alley between houses. And then there were seven. This odd number eventually led to one of the greatest things YHC has witnessed as an F3 thibodaux member… [insert catching phrase to captivate audience and grab attention]

    Thang 2
    YHC likes to experiment in all things of life , so after going through the depths of the exicon, a few things we have not done yet caught the eye. The PAX was a split into two doubles with one thruple group.

    AMRAP – 20 minutes, switch stations every 2 minutes for 2 rounds at each station
    Station 1: Ascending testicles on picnic tables – 3 levels of merkins (ground, feet on seat, feet on table top), 5 reps at each level. Continue until time called.
    Station 2: Captain thors – BBSU + American hammer (1:4), adding to the number with every rep. Goal was to get to 10 BBSU with 40 American hammers.
    Station 3: doracides – 1 partner sprints while the other completes LBCs to a total of 100
    Station 4: CPRs (curl to overhead press to tricep extension)
    Station 5: Squerkin (partner one does merkin while partner two holds partner 1s feet, partner 2 then does a squat, alternating every 10 reps)

    Observations:
    1. Ascending testicles will show up in additional beatdowns. Not only for the name but for how tough this was. With every level, it felt like adding an extra 20 pounds to the merkin.
    2. Captain thors. The American hammers were more difficult than previously thought. YHC was only able to make it through round seven (7BBSU followed by 28 American Hammers). Need more of these in beatdowns to build up goose level stamina.
    3. Two minutes was the perfect time to complete these. Somehow the distances between the cones seemed longer than YHC initially placed them at. Maybe it was the lack of oxygen that caused my confusion. Maybe it was Goose low key adding a few feet between them every suicide. The world will never know.
    4. CPR – coupon curl to Overhead press to tricep extension. YHC thought this through prior to the beatdown and it seemed like it would be difficult to go from the tricep extension back to the curl in an easy/safe way. So, the tricep extensions were left out for just the curl to OHP. This also proved to be a difficult transition unless you had the grip strength of a gorilla. Recommend against these in further beatdowns.
    5. … the squerkin. YHC and Cardinal have gone through our bromance at exponential pace for meeting really just 3 months ago. Most take a relationship slow. Get to know each other first prior to squerking together. Not this couple. First, hitting it off over coffee memorabilia, second being partners for SV500, thirdly squerkins. Seeing a man in this way can never be forgotten. On our last set, as YHC was awkwardly trying to curl and overhead press, my eye was drawn to a magnificent site. YHC has never seen three men move in such harmony than Goose, dilly and Tap did this morning. Dilly doing merkins, Wet tap with one leg, Goose with the other moving in perfect synchrony while doing squats and merkins. Seeing it in real time YHC would like to name this off shoot of the squerkin the Twerkin Merkin. After calling time, Goose mentioned that if the squats were done at the same time as the person doing the merkin it adds extra weight to the squat. Leave it up to goose to critique an exercise and find a way to make it harder. It is a gift for him and a curse for everyone else.

    Time was called on the AMRAP, 4 minutes of Mary commenced (flutter kicks, penguins, Nolan Ryan’s), COT, finished with announcements and goose prayed us out.

    Always a pleasure to lead. Thanks for waking up, showing up, and joining me in the gloom.

  • In The Beginning, There Was Only The Gloom – from Yankee Joe

    Excerpt taken from the recently discovered “Dead Peltch Scrolls”

    1 In the beginning, Goose created the Gloom. 2 Now the Gloom was formless and in his backyard, darkness was over the Settlement at Live Oak, and the annoyance of Kate was hovering over the mudgear.

    3 And Goose said, “Let there be suffering,” and there was suffering. 4 Goose saw that the suffering was good, and he separated the suffering from the misery. 5 Goose called the suffering “growth,” and the misery he called “being a bitch.”

    And there was posting, and there was COT—the first beatdown.

    6 And Goose said, “Let there be an AO to separate PAX from PAX.” 7 So Goose made the AO and separated the PAX from the NOLA AO from the PAX down the bayou. And it was so. 8 Goose called the AO “F3 Thibodaux.”

    And there was posting, and there was COT—the second beatdown.

    9 And Goose said, “Let the AO under F3 Thibodaux be gathered to one place, and let a real AO – that’s not my backyard – be found.” And it was so. 10 Goose called the dry ground “The Stage,” and the gathered PAX he called “HIMS.” And Goose saw that it was good.

    11 Then Goose said, “Let The Stage produce pain: picnic tables, wet grass, and moseying routes according to their various kinds.” And it was so. 12 And Goose saw that it was good.

    13 And there was posting, and there was COT—the third beatdown

    14 And Goose said, “Let there be music to separate the pain from the pain, and let the music serve as signs to mark sacred songs such as Thunderstruck, various sea shanties, and Peaches.” And it was so.

    16 Goose made the music come from a magic box—the greater magic box he called Anker and the lesser magic box he called JBL. He also made many farts. 17 Goose played the music to force others to do hundreds of burpees. And Goose saw that it was good.

    19 And there was posting, and there was COT—the fourth beatdown.

    20 And Goose said, “Let the beatdowns teem with mumblechatter, and let the smack talk ring out across the vault of the sky.” 21 So Goose created the GroupMe and showed the PAX how to use GIFs to communicate directly and passive aggressively. And Goose saw that it was good.

    22 Goose blessed the Chatter, “Be relentless with each other. Write about the beatdowns in prose in order to leave delicious easter eggs about the shortcomings of your brethren.”

    23 And there was posting, and there was COT—the fifth beatdown.

    24 And Goose said, “Let the land produce living creatures according to their kinds: the stray dogs, the red ants that move along the ground, and the wild woman carrying laundry baskets, each according to its kind.” And it was so. 25 And Goose saw that it was good.

    26 Then Goose said to Pope, “Let us find more crazy people like us, so that they may post in the heat and in the cold, and find ways to do LBC’s in ant piles.” 27 So Goose cast out looking for men like him; men as shit can crazy as he was, he looked for them. Laymen and men of the cloth, he searched for them.

    28 When Goose found them, he said “Make sure to EH and increase in number; convince your wives this is not a cult. Wear short sleeves when it is 30 degrees, dedicate old running shoes to be F3 shoes, buy overpriced F3 gear to fit in more easily.

    29 Then Goose said, “I give you authority to design any beatdown with any theme, any type of exercises, anything that will create suffering. Remember that you were not created for comfort. You don’t deserve to be comfortable. 30 And I give you GroupMe and Backblasts in order to destroy each other, while celebrating your brothers.” And it was so.

    31 Goose saw all that he had made, and it was goosetastic. And there was posting, and there was COT—the sixth beatdown.

    Thus F3 Thiboduax was founded, all of its glory stretching from Bourg to Houma to the St. John HOA in its vast array.

    2 By the seventh beatdown, Goose had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh beatdown he did man makers. 3 Then Goose recruited Cardinal, and in one of the first beatdowns that posted more pax than just goslings the location wasn’t even Thibodaux.

    ————————————

    YHC had planned to create an award ceremony beatown for the BYITG Challenge. However, as the three year manniversary came a few days earlier and in the midst of the PAX dropping their favorite memories, it seemed appropriate to continue the mosey down memory lane. Butttt…as I think about it, I’m now realizing that Goose on a few occasions, knowing my intent, made subtle comments about the three year manniversary. I changed the theme the night before to be a continuation of celebrating F3 memories. How does he do it? I swear it’s Jedi mind tricks. I’m Toydarian…what is this power?

    So…F3 memories. I asked Goose for some old beatdowns and thangs. He sent me the famed Grand Isle beatdown that had roped Cardinal into his FNG appearance. More on that in a bit. There were some hilarious stories, including how YHC argued with Enron about his own last name. He said it was pronounced “Lillick” – no ch sound. I said, “noooo…that’s not right…” Enron said it was of German heritage. I said it was most likely Spanish. Even now, I cringe when I think about it.

    The debate went on for a few minutes, everyone that was present, absolutely dumbfounded by the fact that I would tell a 35 year old man he didn’t know how to pronounce his own last name. To publicly show my acquiescence and humble myself in ridiculous fashion, YHC wore his authentic lederhosen to the Q. It would turn out to be a very bad move for a beatdown. Like running 10 miles with a nutcracker attached to the front of your shorts.

    —————————————–

    Thang 1: The Solo Goose

    Throughout the day on the manniversary, several PAX mentioned their experience with a solo Goose. YHC also shared this experience. It was awful. I almost never came back. It was amazing. In most cases, save the occasional Ace and Gary Q, a Goose favorite was a Lazy Dora. That said, not all PAX have had this once in a lifetime journey into the depths of coupon hell. It’s like swimming with Jar Jar in a small pond that somehow turns into a vast ocean.

    To share the love, PAX partnered up for a quasi Lazy Dora with 50 thrusters, 50 man makers, and 100 OHP’s. Partner 1 did the coupon work, while Partner 2 bear crawled to marker (12 yards) and crab walked back. Flapjack. The kicker was that Goose, in a 10-minute window, had to spend roughly 30 seconds one on one with each PAX, either doing coupon work or joining a PAX in a bear crawl/crab walk. Everyone got a solo Goose. Most of us are now far more informed about form. Did you know there was a narrow and wide edge on a coupon?

    ——————————–

    Thang 2: Seven Memories

    Memory 1: “This is for the birds”

    After taking Cardinal through the beatdown, which that day was the 14 Stations of the Cross (We only had time for 7), Cardinal, in his unparalleled bedside manner (when it comes to sweating and technology), kindly remarked to Goose, “This is for the birds.”

    To commemorate this moment, the PAX did 90 seconds of brick butterfly squats. Here, they flapped their extended wings up as they squatted down, flapped their wings down as they stood up out of the squat, while holding bricks. One minute in, the first rumblings of awareness began to emerge…a 90 second exercise sprint seemed to last longer than expected.

    We sprinted 200 yards, bricks in hand…

    ————————————-

    Memory 2: Here’s to Treeroot

    As F3 Thibodaux began to approach the Open Era, the second and arguably most pivotal draft class exploded onto the scene. PAX such as Popeye, Enron, CuttThroat, Elmer’s, GI Joe, Paradiddle, and others, there were a lot of FNGs who posted…and then quicly faded into the trees. One such PAX was named Treeroot. During a run last year, Enron inquired about whatever happened to Treeroot. This became the descriptor for the phenomenon of ‘showing then ghosting’ from then on.

    90 seconds of tempo squat BOTH ways and arms extended straight up with bricks…you know like a tree growing slowly, branches out. However, it was clear that the PAX were more like crepe myrtles, “growing” quite fast and essentially voiding every single Jurp completed during the BYITG challenge. As such, Horn may have actually been a top scorer.

    Sprint 200 yards, bricks in hand…
    ————————–

    Memory 3: You get a hernia, you get a hernia, EVERYBODY gets a hernia

    One of the OG’s, Popeye, by all accounts started his F3 tenure strong, regularly posting and raising the bar. However, due to a series of burpee laded Goose beatdowns, he got himself a nice hernia, which required surgery. He was on injured reserve for over a year, before staging what the critics are calling the greatest comeback in F3 Nation history. Of course, he would tell you not to call it a comeback. Yes, yes…you got it. He’s been here for years.

    To honor this achievement, we did 90 seconds of hernia inducing V-Ups with bricks in hand. Again, it became very clear, very quickly, that of the total 8,799 V-Ups completed during the BYITG, most likely only 392 actually counted…all belonging to Pope.

    Sprint 200 yards, bricks in hand…
    ————————————-

    Memory 4: The dumbest thing I’ve ever seen…

    Paradox likes to tell a story that while Goose was away on retreat, and having just returned from 30A himself (Paradox), he introduced combo warm-ups such as front arm circle stationary lunges. Upon return from the retreat, Goose reportedly said, “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen…in my life.

    YHC disagrees. The dumbest thing I’ve ever seen was introduced to the PAX by Goose last year, in which one would do a burpee, complete three merkins, and finish the burpee into three jump squats. It’s a real doozy, Clark.

    90 seconds of Goose Burpees with three merkin and three jump squats…these were too hard for YHC to observe anything else going on except how his soldier boi’s were being squat jumped in his tight lederhosen.

    Sprint 200 yards with no bricks…
    ———————————–

    Memory 5: The Inner Circle

    When a man begins F3, he goes through a honeymoon phase, connecting deeply with the other PAX, pushing harder than probably ever in his life, noticing that his body is going through some changes, and realizing that he can make adult friends after all…maybe.

    As such, you let your guard down and let yourself get close. You believe you are progressing through layers of hierarchy, ever inching toward the real inner circle. However, the minute you feel like you’ve made it, you get punched in the crotch and informed that your green texts aren’t welcomed here. Some call you Cactus Jack for almost a month, while your Spanish proficiency is questioned. It’s an emotional roller coaster…one day you’re basking in the warmth of friendship, the next, you’re being kicked out of iMessage groups.

    Like interpretive dance, YHC can best explain the phenomenon by the following:

    For 90 seconds, PAX starts in the outer circle, then bear crawl in/alligator merkin toward the inner circle. Once you get there, crawl bear back out to despair and scorn.

    Sprint 200 yards with no bricks…
    ————————————-

    Memory 6: Diddle Giggle Farts

    Recently, YHC had to go out of town and America’s Best graciously agreed to step into his first Peltch Q. It is safe to say that of the two, AB brought the A. Already ensconced in F3 Thibodaux lore, the German bards will sing of the “brewpons” beatdown for years to come. In one of the exercises, PAX doing WW3 sit ups (BBS with Coupon OHP at top) to some German music, Diddle ripped one right on Goose’s head. As would be expected, the giggling began, and like Sir Didymus and Ambrosius running across the Bog of Eternal Stench, the mini farts came with every sit up/giggle.

    In hopes of replicating this experience, the PAX did 90 seconds of WW3 sit-ups with brick OHP’s. What the PAX didn’t know was that YHC had queued up wet fart sounds on the Spotify playlist…easily BAPS’ greatest moment in his life.What happened over the next 90 seconds will go down as YHC’s best memories of all time. Once the wet fart sounds began, 16 grown men, nearly half of which were over 40, could barely complete the situps because they were giggling so hard. YHC quite literally couldn’t catch his breath.

    Sprint 200 yards, bricks in hand…

    ————————————-

    Memory 7: Kilmer

    One of YHC’s fondest Q memories was when Kilmer DRing from Winston Salem, joined the PAX at The Stage. He was a character to say the least, a gentleman in his late 50’s. He talked a special brand of trash that he was more than welcome to take back to Winston Salem. Toward the end of the beatdown, the PAX was doing a ton of pickle pounders.

    Now, don’t get me wrong…pounders are conducive to melodramatic grunting from even the strongest core, but Kilmer…mannn…it was downright unnerving. It was like the sound you would hear from a mating walrus mixed with…I dunno…yodeling. It was loud. It was weird. It was a bit nasty.

    Smooth, who was pounding next to him and perhaps in his first few weeks of F3 showed no signs of distress, but you could see him slowly inching away with each pickle pounder rep, looking like he had been scandalized. Fortunately for us, Smooth came back and is now ingrained into the very fabric of F3 Thib.

    The PAX did 90 seconds of pickle pounders with instructions to gunt loudly, but appropriately considering the presence of 2.0’s.

    Sprint 200 yards, no bricks…

    —————————————

    With two minutes left, YHC offered up another great F3 moment with Coyote as the protagonist. About 12 PAX attended the NOLA convergence last year. With nearly 100 men in a circle, F3 Thibodaux dropped a Thunderstruck burpee exercise. UNFORTUNATELY, JBL did not get the memo. The volume couldn’t carry, men were getting restless. Then out of the foggy shadows, Coyote sprinted to the middle of the circle and put on what is surely the greatest air guitar performance of all time. 100 men LOVED every second of it. Coyote is legend.

    We did two minutes of burpee Thunderstruck and moseyed back to the flag.

    COT and Cardinal prayed us out.

    Cafeteria followed, and the PAX were treated to Safety Valve’s nitrous oxide cold brew. It. Was. DELICIOUS!

    Just another great memory in a list of great memories. I loved every minute of this beatdown because we got to celebrate each other with humor, chatter, and flatulence.

    SYITG,

    Yankee Jeaux

  • Three Years of F3 Thibodaux – from Goose

    Three years may not seem that long, but we’ve stacked up some serious growth, some incredible memories, and an incomparable brotherhood. YHC is not only celebrating three unexpectedly amazing years of F3 Thibodaux, but also a personal four year manniversary. So, this was a special morning. It’s been quite a journey.

    After the typical warmups with 11 cold men, YHC decided to run the crew through some of the most important lessons we’ve learned through over these short/long years while giving them a chance to bring back to the surface some of the highlghts.

    Lesson 1: We almost always slow down, take breaks, and give up not because we can’t actually do any more, but because we don’t think we deserve to endure difficulty. We think we deserve comfort, and though some difficulty is exhilarating, we deserve to avoid the really hard stuff. But, we know better. We don’t get up before 5 and come to literally be punished in unknown ways by a random member of the gang becauae we think we deserve comfort. We know we’re made for more, so we keep showing up; we keep letting the Q push us farther than we’d ever push ourselves, and we hate to miss.
    Thang: Lt. Dan’s (1 to 2 ratio of squats to lunge walk steps, adding one squat and two steps each time) from the sidewalk around the building to the fence around the AC unit in the back. That served as plenty of discomfort to get us all to that point and past it. The chatter only lasted a couple of minutes, and then it got pretty quiet, which was saying a lot for this crew. After picking up the six we moseyed to the pickleball courts.

    Lesson 2: Our form suffers because we feel sorry for ourselves. Good form keeps our joints safe and makes us stronger. Our pride and self-pity puts our joints in danger in an effort to save our muscles, and though me might finish faster, we don’t get stronger. Humility acknowledges where we are and works from there, pushing all the way through, slowly if need be, and maybe not finishing first; and this is how we get stronger. And, just like in life, if we look to preserve ourselves, all the connecting tissue/people suffer. We only grow and take care of the people connected to us if we stay strong, focused, and humble.
    By this point, the PAX was done with the preaching and just wanted to know what pain lie ahead.
    Thang: bear crawl suicides. Bear crawl across one court to the end of the double lines and back, then to the beginning of the next court and back, then to the end of the next court and back. Every time at the baseline was three burpees (with solid form), and every time at the far line was five HR merkins (can’t cheat on that form).

    At this point, Tana reminded YHC that we had some memories to to share (which is probably why YHC thought he went first), so a few PAX were called and shared some doozies. This helped distract considerably from the pain, and it went by relatively quickly. Moseyed to the basketball court.

    Lesson 3: God knows our true limits, and He expands them, providing strength beyond what grit and determination could ever muster on its own. When YHC has been able to trust in and depend upon His help, the pain and difficulty don’t go away, but I can keep pushing much further than I ever expected. He doesn’t take away difficulty, He give us the strength to power through it if we choose to accept it instead of trying to escape it or measure what we’ve got left in the tank by our own figuring. And, for those willing to believe it, YHC shared that all YHC’s beatdowns are actually God’s ideas, and YHC is more of a co-pilot, putting the pieces together that He gives me. So, yes, they’re hard, but they’re amazing sources of growth, both physically and mentally. And, YHC knows that they will actually be doable, no matter how tough they look on paper.
    Thang: Let God decide–we rolled a die, and if it came up 1-3, it meant 15 LBC’s. If it came up 4-6, it meant sprinting half-court and back and then full-court and back. We rolled exactly 15 times, and though YHC didn’t count exactly, it seemed to be almost half and half. We were given breaks when we needed breaks and challenged just beyond the point of wanting to give up, to self-preserve. God is good. And, Honseysuckle and Pope are in great shape.

    With two minutes left, we moseyed back to the flag for the remainder of the memories to be aired. Most, interestingly, had to to do with first beatdowns and how they were both horrific and fulfilling some deep desire we didn’t know we had. So, we kept coming back, even if it was after a few months and/or a hernia. Tana went last because YHC forgot about him (I guess he blended in behind Honeysuckle or Valve), and promised to flim his top five and post them on the GroupMe. This sounded amazing and gave YHC the idea to ask everyone to film their top memories and post them from then till Saturday morning. It’s been unbelievably successful, an incredible way to celebrate the indescribable gift these last three years have been.

    And, YHC will keep posting at every beatdown for as long as God keeps us here. And, when it’s time to go, YHC trusts that God knows what He’s doing, though it’s hard to picture how we’ll push past that difficulty. But, I guess we’ll have the strength we need for it when we get there. Till then, we’ll keep making memories, pushing through limits, and suffering together with this incredible band of brothers. Here’s to F3 Thibodaux and all that is yet to come!

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • Country For Old Men – from Honeysuckle

    Jason Aldean was the flame. Boot Scootin Goosie was the fuse. It was only a matter of time until the country beatdown would occur. And friend-o, that day was today.
    On a dew-filled morning at the stage, fourteen men gathered eventually and the fun began.

    Warmarama
    20 Side straddle hops (YHC would have made it 40 if Tana had been there on time)
    Windmills
    Arm circles forward and back’ard
    No cherry pickers
    Willie Mays Hayes
    High Knees
    Butt Kicks

    As all required Jurps no longer need to take place prior to doing anything else, yet realizing that leaving a full four Jurps for the PAX to have to do OYO after a beatdown is a little too much, we split the difference and did two Jurps as part of the beatdown. As to not waste time, the country music started with “I think I’ll just stay here and jurp” by Merle Haggard. Piccadilly jumped in after the first round started but so smoothly it was as though he just appeared out of thin air. Despite the excessively long instrumental outro, a second song was needed so that the second jurp could be completed by the PAX so that was [this is taking a very long] “Tulsa Time” by Don Williams.
    Then, a coupon mosey to get the hard stuff.

    The first thang
    The next part was a small homage to what played no small part in putting country music into pop culture (and eventually into a cult with popeye), which was the movie Urban Cowboy. (That movie also put mechanical bulls into every honky tonk bar.) Both songs are by Jerry Lee, with the first being “Cherokee Fiddle.” We did V-ups during the song, but during the chorus (“When he smelled the smoke and the cinders…”), we grabbed our own cinders and did manmakers.

    The second song was “Looking for love in all the wrong places.” YHC looked at points total per Jurptoberfest exercise and found the two exercises with the fewest points. These at that time were big boy situps and curls, so by doing these we would be looking for points in all the wrong places. So similar to the previous song, BBS’s during the song and curls during the chorus. Enron had been preparing for this moment his whole life and really shone during those curls. As did Cuz.

    YHC after the fact proposed the equivalent of a “standard deduction” for points earned during the first thang. This is because there were no sheets to write down the number of each exercise the PAX did, so many PAX did not really know how many points they earned. Inadvertently, in doing so, YHC perhaps initiated a bout of points inflation that a future hawkish Q will have to clean up. The overall jurptober impact remains to be seen. Analysts are saying that the biggest impact is likely to be in the manmaker category as they represent the largest number of points per exercise.

    The second thang
    The second thang was going to take longer and finish out the workout. The song “Redneck Girl” has always been a favorite, next to “Queen of my double wide trailer”. But in “Redneck Girl”, the Bellamy Brothers highlight all of the desirable qualities of these types of women. One of these is that a redneck girl has her name on the back of her belt. In honor of that line, we did a conveyor belt exercise.

    There were 5 stations where these five activities were done, with bear crawls in between.
    Station 1: V-ups (20)
    Station 2: Merkins (20)
    Station 3: Bonnie Blairs (20, I think we all know by now it’s 2:1)
    Station 4: Big Boy Situps (20)
    Station 5: Burpees (10)

    Four stations were populated with PAX leaving one open station for at least a little freedom of movement for one group. All PAX in a group were supposed to stay together and couldn’t go to the next station until the group at that station left. But I’m sure Yankee Joe could spend multiple lectures covering case studies highlighting what PAX are “supposed to do” versus what they actually do. And I just completed an internship.

    Now, if you liked the loitering and waiting in Saturday’s beatdown, you would LOVE the conveyor belt. There was ample opportunity to trash talk teams taking too long, and those opportunities were seized. However, the waiting was sort of a feature because otherwise there were no real breaks. Just like in a honky tonk bar, there were even PAX getting up on the tables doing their thing. In the end, everyone made it through two rounds, in most/all cases also finishing a third set of the exercise where the respective PAX began.

    During this time, we got to additionally hear “John Deere Green” by Joe Diffie, “Hard Workin’ Man” by Brooks and Dunn, and most of “L. A. Freeway” by Jerry Jeff Walker. The soundtrack was well received overall, though one PAX couldn’t take it and left. And I expect to continue to not hear country music during my next eye exam.

    We circled up, counted off, named off, did announcements, intentions, and Pope prayed us out. Dox pictured us out.

    After the coupon return and general cleanup, around 10 PAX stayed and finished up the Jurps. Gotta love and admire the dedication of this group. Smooth, showing next level determination and grit, grinded out his last Jurp with everyone just sort of standing around him and Goose holding the shovel.

    Much appreciation to the PAX for being hard workin’ men today and even feeling comfortable enough to share that they enjoy listening to country music only if chipmunks are singing it. It is great to celebrate the recent birthdays, and while some of these songs remind us that the world and our lives keep changing as we get older, many fundamental things don’t change, and for myself at least, F3 continues to provide a way to improve physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual strength to stay in the fight now and hopefully for many years to come.

  • Down With Disease – from Yankee Joe

    Prologue

    YHC arrived at the Peltch at 5:30 am on Saturday morning. We often say it was in “The Gloom,” but this morning took it to a new place. As he rolled out the tractor trailer truck tire onto the little league infield, he couldn’t help but notice how dark…and still it was. No sound of birds, no cars, no breeze in the pines. Now, YHC isn’t one to get all spooked out, but it was still a bit eerie.

    As he started hammering in the staked signs with various exercises, a heavy fog started to roll in. Not a light misting, but legit fog…and it was legit rolling, he looked around and realized that the signs I had just put in all looked like graveyard markers. Now, YHC isn’t one to get all skittish, but man it was getting weird.

    After one last trip to the awesome, cool, masculine minivan to get BAPS, YHC started walking back to the field. It was then that he looked up and through the haze, saw a hearse sitting in the thunder dome. How had he not noticed it before? Now YHC isn’t one to get all freaked out, but damn this was all starting to get…well…something.

    YHC shook it off and with 20 minutes left before the beatdown, decided to hit the men’s room. As YHC entered the bathroom to see about a fudge pop, the lights flickered. C’mon Yankee…stop being so dramatic. While sitting on the silver torpedo shell, and coming to the realization that this would be an underwhelming dumpelstiltskin, the lights turned off…completely. No sound of the door which had squealing hinges. The lights were off, YHC in the dark, quarter loaf barely pinched.

    And then, out of the darkness, as if radiating inward from the walls, the still air cold as ice, I heard the breathy, chilling voice…it said…“BEWAREEEEEEE….He’s a cheater…doing three merkins at the bottom of a buuuurpeeeeeee doesn’t count as a burpee aaaaand threeeeeee merkinssssss.”

    Now YHC isn’t one to hammer a prairie dog back in the hole, but at this, I screamed like a pickleballer and ran out into the darkness to find the PAX.

    —————————–
    YHC was both thrilled and concerned to see what would eventually make up 19 PAX at the Peltch. The beatdown had been designed for 8 to 10 PAX based on recent attendance rates. Considering all of the whining, wailing, and gnashing of teeth about doing hard things, YHC just assumed Houma-Thibodaux would be flush in dutch ovens that morning. YHC was wrong. Real wrong. 14 of 20 BYITG participants showed with the Hunt for Red Jurptober repping 100% attendance. However, I’m sure if you look back at the records for Arthur Anderson, those folks showed up to work on a regular basis too. Apparently, immorality requires solidarity.

    With six 2.0’s including a Honeysuckle duo – WELCOME Yelnats and Ewok, YHC started getting excited about how the chaos would play out over the next hour.

    —————————-

    Warmarama
    Side straddle hops
    Windmills 15 ct
    Arm circles forward 15 ct
    Arm circles backward 15 ct
    Cherry pickers 15 ct
    Self love
    High knees 15 ct
    Willy Mays Hayes
    High Knees
    Butt Kicks

    The men headed to the first field by the Apparatus to knock out the three required Jurps. The crowd was so big that the grumbling sounded like if you packed 50 constipated walruses in a locker room shower playing Adele in the background. But we got through it. During the jump squat portion, I saw some very interesting form emerge. Also during that time, it came to light that Tana had betrayed YHC to Paradox during an ongoing investigation. Did you ever see What Lies Beneath? Well, it has nothing to do with this scenario.

    We moseyed over to the baseball field and for the remaining 30 minutes, jumped into the fray.

    ——————————
    The Setup

    *Field set up with six stations around center point.
    *Two stations set 15 yards from center.
    *Two stations set 20 yards from center.
    *Two stations set 30 yards from center.
    *Each station represents a different BYITG exercise.

    All PAX start in center, do 5 burpees then tire flip (tractor trailer size) or zombie crawl to 15 yard station, 5 burpees then bear crawl to 20 yard station, or 5 burpees and bear crawl to 30 yard station. For any station, do 20 reps of exercise associated with that station. Run back, do 5 burpees, then head to the next station of your choice. AMRAP until time.

    Rules:
    1) there cannot be more than TWO Pax at any given station at one time. If there are already two pax at your desired station after you finish your 5 burpees, you MUST immediately choose another station and bear crawl to it. NO loitering.

    2) You cannot do the same station twice in a row unless you are forced to go there for lack of options…see Rule 1.

    Stations (20 reps each):
    BBS (12 yards)
    V-up (12 yds)
    Merkins (20 yards)
    Bonnie’s (20 yds)
    Coupon curls (30 yds)
    Man makers (30 yds)
    —————————————
    Strategy (if you can call it that):

    The 12-yard stations were tempting because you could get to them quickly, knock out the relatively quick rep exercise and get back. That said, the tire flip or zombie crawl transport was hard and time consuming. The 20 yard stations were the money makers. Merkins, each worth a point, were quick reps and not excruciatingly far for a bear crawl. Bonnie’s on the other hand were far more time consuming IF you had good form. At 30 yards, the coupon curl was a trap. First, a 30 yard bear crawl straight up sucks, but to reward yourself with half-point curls for a station total of 10 points didn’t justify the time. The biggest ROI was from the man maker station at three points per rep.

    It was here that Montana outdid himself. WIth three men at the man maker station, Tana should have chosen another station. He didn’t, he began lunge walking slowly toward the man maker station with YHC loudly chastising him to turn around. Instead, he lunge walked all the way to the man-makers then headed to the coupon curl station and proceeded to do…MAN MAKERS. By this time, YHC was losing his mind. Like Bob Knight, YHC tossed his man making coupon, yelling in a high pitched voice that Tana wasn’t playing fair and calling him a doo doo head.

    COT and Goose prayed us out. We welcomed Yelnats and Ewok. The PAX got a real treat in seeing Dumbledore and family walk up. He got damn near a standing ovation. It was cool. Dumbledore, you are missed.

    All in all, the PAX earned a total of 10,000+ points. It was a wonky set up, but due to being in close proximity, the chatter was epic. I had a lot of fun. Thank you for the opportunity to lead.

    BYITG,

    Yankee Jerk

    And…stay from that Peltch bathroom. Here, there be monsters.

  • Looked Better on Paper – from Goose

    YHC felt pretty proud of the continued creativity necessary to keep jurps and points rolling after almost three full weeks of beatdowns. And this morning was a particular point of pride because YHC was going to introduce the PAX to a classic routine that was a huge part of YHC’s F3 foundation while also racking up an obscene amount of points. At least, that was the plan.
    Warmup brought a welcomed razzing from YJ (the now-usual absence of he and Dox have made for some unusually quiet warmups). Then, we grabbed coupons out of the truck and made a ring around Enron (at the second sidewalk). He declined to be the center of attention, saying something about his tempo squat form, and we commenced three rounds of jurps. But, since YHC was Q-ing, the whole group had to nurse a rotator cuff injury, so we replaced the 10 groiners with 10 Bonnie Blairs (2:1). It was tough, and it definitely took longer than 10 minutes; a good bit longer.
    YHC took the opportunity to fit in a quarter-mile lap around the building while the anchors finsihed the last round to Pat Benatar’s “We Belong” cranking out of the impeccable sounds of the Oontz. And, we needed to keep half the PAX from building up points while they waited for the rest to finish–especially the ones not on YHC’s team.
    The time had come to share the foundational gift of the Classic Deck of Death. With the dawn of the newer F3 cards with a different exercise on each, the classic routine has fallen deep into the dark middle range of the Exicon. Well, not today! Today each suit represented an exercise, and it would remain that way for the duration–so, only four exercises, and the number on the card drawn would be the number of reps. But, the face cards are bad news–they mean high reps and a harder version of the exercise of their suit. The suits were assigned as follows:

    Hearts: Merkins; Face cards: 20 shoulder-tap merkins
    Clubs: V-ups; Face cards: 20 X-factors (lying spread eagle, hand goes up to meet opposite foot, like a half v-up)
    Spades: Bonnie Blairs; Face cards: 20 Goosies
    Diamonds: Curls (but 2x the rep numbers); Face cards: 40 curls
    All Aces: lap around the building

    You can imagine why YHC would have figured on racking up points, especially since YHC remembers getting almost through an entire deck during beatdowns on the Northshore. But, they didn’t do three rounds of Bonnie Blair Jurpees and a quarter-mile lap before starting. And, somehow it took an average of 30 seconds for each PAX to turn over a card, stare at it like it they were having to decipher some sort of ancient language, read it out to the group, and then half the PAX ask for him repeat it loudly because they couldn’t hear it over Chicago’s “25 or 6 to 4”. So, we only got through about a third of the deck and one other Ace, which brought the total up to a measly half mile.
    Total numbers of reps were:
    -3 jurps
    -71 Merkins
    -59 Bonnie Blairs
    -55 V-ups (2:1 x-factors counted as 1)
    -78 Curls
    And, for those who ran a couple more laps after COT, 1 mile.

    YHC appreciated the PAX’s willingness to push through, especially the Bonnies and Goosies, despite the supposed promise of some fun games of chance. (Instead, they got “Just turn over the next card and we’ll do one of four things.”) Honestly, it’s more interesting when you know you’re gonna get through the whole deck, so the torturous cards are comin’…it’s only a matter of time before your luck runs out.

    Announcements, Animal shirt went to the well-deserving Hypotenuse, whose quiet perseverance is admirable, though YHC looks forward to when he starts slinging witty mud at YJ like the rest of us. America’s Best prayed us out.
    Lastly, it was awesome as YHC was driving out to see more than one of the men accompanying the still recovering Smooth around the civic center as he refused to not complete his mile. Proud to be a part of such an awesome crew!

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • Gameday Training – from Enron

    It has been quite a while since YHC has been able to make it to a Saturday beatdown and even longer since having the opportunity to Q one. Therefore, YHC rolled up a little early to the Peltch to an empty parking lot scattered with shot-gunned Twisted Tea cans from what looked like a wild Friday night. 9 PAX of men pulled in shortly thereafter waiting for training camp to get started. Flag planted, let’s get this thing rolling.
    Warmarama: SSH, IW, Windmills, Self-Love, AC, Cherry Pickers, High Knees, Butt Kicks
    YHC noticed it was eerily silent during the warmup and didn’t know if it was due to the lack of Dox and Tana’s normal chatter, or the fear that was placed on the PAX from Yankee Jeaux’s description of the last “Game of Games” Q in the GroupMe.
    Thang 1: Strength Training
    To be game day ready, YHC described that there are many different forms of preparation that you must put your mind and body through. We would be working our way through each of them to make sure that the PAX was prepared for the main event at the end of today. This started off with some strength training.
    Who doesn’t like medium-roasted Jeaux in the morning? YHC explained the breakdown of what the exercises in the Jurp were for YJ since he has seemingly forgotten the movements since he wrote them down 3 weeks ago.

    20 Tempo Squats
    10 Groiners
    20 Merkins
    10 Groiners
    20 Jump Squats
    20 LBCs
    20 Leg Raises

    Rinse and Repeat

    Thang 2: Endurance Training

    After a quick debate on the best route to get a mile in, and quickly shutting down Wet Tap’s idea, the PAX began a 1-mile Indian run with the last man dropping off for 3 merkins before running to the front to choose his pace.

    Thang 3: Coordination Training
    Moseyed to the previously unused Bocce ball court for a quick game. Thanks to Goose, Pope, and Duke for allowing the use of their family game night set of Bocce Ball.

    Split into teams 1 and 2
    Rules:
    Thow out the “jack”
    Each member throws their Bocce Ball to attempt to get closest to the jack. If that ball ends up closer, the opposing team does 2 Burpees. Alternated teams until each player had thrown their ball. The team with the closest ball at the end was “rewarded” with 5 Merkins, while the losing team did 10 burpees.

    Team 2 had a commanding lead through the entire game and thought we would easily walk away with a victory. Smooth had other plans. On the last shot, he went with the perfectly placed hail Mary of a throw and knocked the Jack, and his ball, out of the cluster of other balls to take the W. Well played sir.

    Thang 4: Mental Training
    Each team lined up facing one another for a quick round of Rock paper scissors.
    The Rules:
    One game of RPS vs. each of the opposing team members
    Round one loser 1, 2=1 Bonnie Blair
    Round 2 loser 2 Bonnie Blairs
    Round 3 loser 3 and so on until all teammates have played each member of the opposing team.

    Thang 5: The main event, Gameday – Frisburpee
    Ultimate Frisbee but on every turnover the team that turned over the frisbee would drop for 2 burpees while the opposing team would do 1 merkin. In the second half this was changed to 2 Bonnie Blairs with 1 squat. Losing team did 5 Burpees per touchdown in the first half and 5 Bonnie Blairs in the second.

    This is what the PAX has been training all day for, the main event. The teams seemed relatively even though YHC was very pleased to see that both the 2.0s were on his team. 2.0 energy has been known to be a large advantage in any endurance, and running, game. This was quickly proved to be correct. After scoring the opening 6 touchdowns, team 2 was dominating the opposition. Jeaux, learned that he had to “sell out” for the frisbee, and with reckless abandon he was quickly diving all over the pitch. Pope was showing off his impressive ups and long arms for grabbing the frisbee. Duke even looked over to YHC and said “ Enron, I really like this game”. With that kind of lead, what is there not to like.
    Not so fast my friend… Team 1 quickly scored a couple TDs towards the end to even the score out (kind of). Time was called and we moseyed to the flag.

    Announcements and Goose Prayed us out. Animal was rewarded to Smooth for his ever continuing strength and drive.

    This was an awesome start to “gameday” and YHC is truly honored to be a part of this PAX and this group of High impact men. Happy to see Goldilox back in the rotation again as well. Thanks to all for making it out.

    SYITG,

    Enron

  • Glory Hogs – from Goose

    It was Day 2 of finding creative ways to rack up a ton of points in the Jurptober By-You Spreadsheet Challenge, so before it gets old, YHC decided to fill this beatdown with valuable exercises.

    As YHC and Pope parked in a relatively empty parking lot, we wondered if it’d be slim pickins for what YHC hoped would be an exciting challenge. But, AB quickly pulled up, and then Hypotenuse emerged from a truck that has not yet imprinted itself on YHC’s PAX radar. Then, thankfully, six more dudes flowed in, Honeysuckle wearing a new shirt that embodies the spirit of F3–it says “Honeysuckle” below a graphic from what looks to be an album cover from the early 70’s. Upon questioning, he revealed that Honeysuckle was/is in fact a band, but that no further details are known. By anyone.

    YHC was struck by the fact that, besides Smooth and Pope, this group was a totally different group than the one that posted yesterday morning. It’s awesome to see that we’re up to enough guys to have solid numbers despite the fact that people don’t typically post every day. But, it also meant that only the three of us would benefit from multiple days this week of jacked up beatdown points. So be it.

    After a warmup of the usuals, up to the full 20 reps since YHC is getting old, we moseyed to get coupons. Upon returning, the coupons were placed in the middle of the field so as to outline a square, about 10 yards across. After the needed two rounds of Jurps OYO, the square became a professional wrestling ring and the PAX partnered up for a Tag Team Royal Rumble. Here’s the rules:
    While Partner 1 cranked out a given exercise in the ring until he needed a break, Partner 2 ran around the track waiting to be tagged in. Exercises changed every five minutes. Men in the ring weren’t allowed to take breaks or rest–if you needed to stop/take a break, you had to run to your partner and tag him in. The Partner 2 got the chance to earn points while the timer ticked and famous “tag team” musical duos rocked the field via the power of Oontz (he did pretty well sitting up on top of a coupons).

    The exercises were: burpees, V-ups, merkins, Bonnie Blairs, Big Boi Situps, and curls. And, just like in professional wrestling, the glory only goes to the one in the ring, and though the Q clearly stated that there was to be no resting in the ring, there were still some glory hogs who seemed to be bent on intentionally robbing their partners of the opportunity to shine. This may have been because partners weren’t on the same Jurpee teams, or because of Oontz’s ability to drive men’s hearts with clarity and bass. it may have also been the quality of YHC’s Tag Team playlist, which expertly combined songs like “Whoomp, There it Is” by Tag Team, “Mrs. Robinson” by Simon and Garfunkel, and “Think About It” by Flight of the Conchords specifically to invoke the greatest possible interior response and enhance the brain’s capacity to log multiple numbers while continuing to count new reps and laps around the track (8 times = a mile). Nothing syncs the neurons like Kriss Kross followed immediately by the Dooby Brothers.

    When the sugar plant whistle blew at 6:00 (that’ll be a nice way to keep time for a few months), every man did his best to repeat his numbers in his foggy mind so they didn’t float away with the cool breeze. Circled up, counted off, Animal went to Cardinal (where it will likely hibernate for the winter), and Honeysuckle prayed us out.
    After prayer, a number of the PAX ran a few more laps to get finish out the second mile, and then we trickled out of the parking lot. Awesome work this morning, fellas! Y’all make it worth the effort!

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • The Great British Beatdown – from Paradox

    “Everyone has a plan, till you get punched in the face by the iron fist of a 3 week old” YHC thought as he sent the mayday text to Goose at 5:10a “start the warm up then Jurp them boys and jurp them good!”
    Apparently newborn vomitus waits for no man and after some mischief was managed I put the Dox mobile into a hi 5th, ya hate to be late to a bake-off !!

    When the great creator of the Jurp (some circles only whisper his name as “the architect”) unveiled the Jurpee extra curriculars YHC thought they looked like a recipe’s ingredient list. I knew that could be used, but it sat in the “save for beatdown file” waiting for a spark. Stephen King says the creation of any good story starts with a cup (the content) and you just need to add a handle (the conflict/action) to carry it. When YHCs M reminded me of a fresh season of the Great British Baking Show I had just the Handle I needed. Ya see unlike more productive pandemic hobbies (Cardinal’s coffee roasting and Jeaux’s Peleton) YHC picked up this ultra addictive baking show. It had all the fine qualities YHC loves in a tV show. No plot, no characters to remember. Comedians hired to stir the pot. PLUS you can fall asleep in season 2 , wake up in season 7 and they are baking the same bread with the same quippy satire. No spoilers, no recap. Just pastry’s and focaccia and zero stress.
    Bliss

    In review : Cup plus handle plus prime time gloom= a bake off themed beatdown

    Duke! Get the bean footage!
    On your mark , get set , bake!

    Warmup –
    Completed by Goose as YHC performed burp cloth windmills and imperial wet diapers.

    The Signature Bake

    Dish : 2 pots of oven baked JurpeeLaya- Just add pax
    Serve fresh with a late Q.

    YHC rolled in hot after an agonizingly long ride behind a cane truck and picked up about 1.25 jurps in. This segwayed nicely into the explanation of the Jurpee as a classic signature bake. It’s familiar, repeatable, and you can present it with confidence even if Paul Hollywood says your jump sqats look stodgy and your leg raises are still raw in the center.

    The Technical Bake:

    Dish : The Paul HollyWebb

    Usually difficult with very little instructions involving complex ingredient ratios.
    Our bakers had to attempt a Paul Holliwebb bake that included a 1 mile run and some mixed Jack Webbs
    First at the port a jon for Bonnie Blair’s and Merkins.
    Increases by 1 and 2 till we finished with 6 Bonnie’s and 12 merkins
    (Total : 16 Bonnie’s , 30 merkins)

    There were zero complaints about the OctoberBest Merkin fest on Saturday
    German engineering at its best.

    Round 2
    V/ups / BBSU
    1 BBSU/2 BBSU till we got till 6 BBSU and 12
    (Total : 24 v ups ish
    (Memory is hazy here so please modify your numbers if that’s the truth in your heart)

    **at the time of this writing leg raises outside of a jurp will be put on trial by the Rienzi Inquisition.
    Goodness gracious , this ISI has more asterisks than the McGuire/Sosa homerun race ***

    Took it to Coupon Alley with a 3 burpee Indian Run on the way

    The ShowStopper

    The last bake of the show
    This one is everything you got
    All out , hammer down, no brakes.
    Which logically lead us to …

    The Diddle Death March ManMaker Mile brought to you by Betty Crocker

    Inspired by Diddles personal touch to close out a bd with nothing left but a puddle of pax.

    10 Manmakers
    Run to stage
    1 Burpees
    In Elevens format we decreases the manmakers and increased the burpees till time or death do us part.
    The plan was to make enough rounds to generate a mile but the pax were saved by the bell.
    In the great white tent of the British bake contestants are always up against the clock and todays bake was no different.
    Goose and Pope went pretty deep into the man makers and got Dox Hollywood handshakes.

    Smooth gets Star Baker for gutting out a heavy run Q and I think we hit 2.5 “Okays”

    Announcements
    Invigor8 Grant FB live event tomm 7pm

    Link will be on groupme

    COT and Popeye prayed us out

    Bulletin Board Material:
    Jurptown USA has formally changed its name to SmugVille City led by Mayor Goose.
    They sit on a mountain of points and dare a challenger to come and take the trophy.
    Do not let them go gently into the night !

    Here’s a Dox of Chocolates :

    Have you ever seen someone and just for a split second it wasnt how you usually see them. I know you are thinking “dox put the shrooms down “ but hear me out. Like in a crowded airport when you unexpectedly see a family member or as you pass a loved one in traffic. Sometimes just for a microsecond your brain sees them as any other stranger would. Then almost instantaneously your brain catches up and the recognition kicks in. And in that microsecond window of time you go from “complete unknown variable” to filling in all the experiences you have had with the subject in question. Then you have special moment of grace realizing the connection.
    Well this morning while rocketing down 308 behind the aforementioned cane truck I was too absorbed to realize I was already parallel with the stage. The opposite lane was full of another 2 cane trucks (Tis the season) and then suddenly cleared. There in the gloom were 7 men suspended in perfect jurp squat unison. Pushing past their own pain to help sharpen the one next to them. I’d never seen it like that , from the outside. It was glorious. For just that blink of time I didn’t know what it was. Then I smiled, pulled in and jumped into the fray, filled with gratitude for these high impact fellows.

    A privilege to lead men

    SYITG
    Dox