F3 New Orleans

Tag: Cardinal

  • Be the Rock! – from Goldilocks

    Goldilocks showed up to the Lion’s Den fifteen minutes early to a bit of a drizzle. No one was there which made Lox’s heart thump a little bit. Did he come to the place? However, Goose and Pope showed up which made his little heart calm down. The rest of the Pax showed up to Goldilocks’ VQ and we were ready to roll.

    The warmups were the normal: SSH, Wind Mills, Imperial Walkers, arm circles, cherry pickers, and some self love. Lox was excited and his cadence may have been quicker then the Pax was accustomed too, but it got the job done!

    Thang #1

    Lox then revealed the theme: St. Peter, the Rock of the Church. The Pax would follow in his footsteps as seen in the last chapter of the Gospel of John. This would begin with an Indian Run with the last person doing five merkins before sprinting to the front. St. Peter was running away from his vocation, and was a little proud so the Pax needed to get their chest big like him. He was also a fisherman so DJ Dox and his faithful sidekick JBL played some drunken sailor tunes for us. Members like Smooth and Michelin kicked into high gear and sprinted faster than the eye can see, but Cardinal still slowed down the pace (guess he didn’t wanna run too far from our Lord).

    Thang #2

    Bear crawl into 14 Bonnie Blair’s and 15 Diamond Merkins followed by crab walk into 14 J Lo’s and 15 squat jumps (x3) 29 reps on each side. June 29th is St. Peter’s Feast Day.

    Lox then brought us to the next part of the Pax’s journey with St. Peter. The Lord had asked Peter, “Do you love me more than these?”. Peter responded, “Yes, Lord you know that I love you.” Jesus then told him to feed his sheep. So the Pax would get at feeding dem lambs! This would entail a bear crawl to chase after the lost sheep catching them with some lunges and merks, but then the Pax had to bring the sheep back home with a bear crawl and the celebrate the return of lost sheep with some J Lo’s and squat jumps. DJ Dox gave us some Bieber to inspire us to work admit not knowing what the Lord was up to.
    The Pax felt good after only doing this once (Econdoline hadn’t even given us a grunt yet!) Lox then crushed their spirits reminding the Pax that the Lord asked the same question a second time. So the Pax got after it again for round 2. DJ Dox hit us up with some Queen and Econdoline gave us his famous grunts. Meanwhile Cardinal was still smoking all of us in crab walking, and Smooth was showing us his hips don’t lie with those sets of J Lo’s which would inevitably win him GiGi.
    The Pax crawled in after round 2 only to get hit again with the same thang. The Lord had asked Peter a third time, leading Peter to frustration. Lox hit the Pax with round 3, which led to the same response. Round 3 showed us what was really happening. Dox was tired of Cardinal smoking the Pax in crab walks, so he played some defense and sacrificed himself to get in the way of the flaming Cardinal, only slowing him down a bit. What a courageous solider that Dox is! Michelin showed some real heart as Lox yelled at the Pax to BE THE ROCK! This would win him Animal! Goose still finished first as always.

    Thang #3

    The Pax ended with some Mary, knowing that it is only with her help that we can follow the Lord admits trial and tribulation.

    Lox is super grateful for these F3 brothers, and is inspired everyday by their unwavering commitment to each other and to their own health. Keep going strong and be that rock! COT and pray led by Michelin closed us out.

  • It’s Gonna Be a Good Day – from Paradiddle

    YHC has recently felt the fire within and has been trying to recruit new pax to join this lovely cult that we call a club (both F3 and WHOOOPgang). You see, today was supposed to be a big day for one of our own. After a Friday evening prethang with Goldilocks, as we prepared our bodies (and thighs) to be sculpted into the most beautiful figures mankind could ever lay eyes on – thanks to YankeeJoe, Goldilocks, after a little peer pressure from YHC, agreed to VQ today. After a small but strong showing on Saturday, YankeeJoe had me convinced that all of the pax were out of town on the beach, pina-colada with tiny umbrella in hand. YHC was merely looking out for Goldilocks (locks, or is it lox?) by wanting a strong showing at his VQ. Locks agreed, even seeming excited to have a bit more time to prepare for the chaos he wishes to unleash upon us all this coming Thursday.

    YHC arrived with two minutes to spare (impressive, right?) to find a full showing of pax, coupons already unloaded, cheeks clenched, and mumble chatter strong. YHC was happy, and with a big smile, we began.

    Warmups were the usual not knowing how to count off anything in cadence and consisted of:
    – SSH
    – Imperial Walkers
    – Grass Grabbers (w/ the clap)
    – Open the Gates (bringing something new)

    Mumble chatter was strong and YHC was so distracted that he nearly just got right in to the beatdown. Thanks to Lil’ Cuz piping up, we actually stretched our arms (and we needed to):
    – Arm circles
    – Cherry pickers

    THANG ONE
    – Indian run w/ 3 caboose burpees
    DJ DOX was quick to be ready with ever faithful JBL, and YHC just about put him in the grave when the decision to run in silence was announced to the pax. Sometimes you just have to be alone with those inner demons and face them head on. The pace was set and kept for the run with the exception of the ever popular Cardinal-pace. We stopped midway back to the stage for a group circle of 30 Bonnie Blair’s so that we could get a bonus burn in the thighs.

    THANG TWO
    – Step Up’s & LBC’s w/ Coupons
    YHC’s current favorite tv character, Mr. Ted Lasso, has a way with people. His positivity is contagious, and many of his colleagues are often annoyed with his upbeat nature and attitude. I feel similar to Ted here. Some of the pax like to acknowledge my smile when running the Diddle Death March and other popular exercises. After my dear Ted got put down in GroupMe last night (not gonna name names *honk*), I was inspired with this routine.

    The song was “Good Day” by Nappy Roots – a real bop , frfr. We would do lbc’s with coupons on the verses and step up’s on the chorus for the duration of the song. This was sure to get the pax in a great mood this morning! We can make the decision to make it a good day from the moment we sit up in bed (lbc’s) and take our first steps of the day (step up’s).

    Mumble chatter and grunts were at a minimum, but Cuz did set the record for the most amount of bird poop anyone has laid in.

    THANG THREE
    – Merkin Mountain
    After Yankee Joe’s inspirational sharty beatdown on Saturday, YHC might have a new favorite exercise – the Merkin Mountain. YHC adapted this gem into what I’m now calling the Merkin Flatlands (which might just be tougher than the mountain – Dox I repent of saying this would be easier, I was wrong).

    We would begin with one merkin, take one step(?) in a bear crawl, two merkins, two steps in bear crawl , three merkins, three steps in bear crawl, etc until we reached 18 merkins (thanks to Cuz who remembered how many the mountain had, but im pretty sure he remembered because he got to the top right behind shari’ah and stomped the rest of us).

    This…proved to be difficult. After hearing Econoline’s thunderous grunts from afar, YHc had to pivot and reduce the mountain to 15 merkins. Those 51 pushups really would have ate our lunch.

    THANG FOUR
    – Dora
    – 100 overhead press w/ coupon
    – Partner runs a lap
    – 200 Bonnie Blair’s
    – Partner Murder Bunny’s to the second picnic table & back
    – 300 Squats
    – Partner does mountain climber’s til he tags out and swaps

    The pax plowed through the over head press and running portion, and YHC was downright inspired by Smooth making that coupon look like he was lifting a box of Kleenex above his head.

    Goose, to no surprise after May’s ISI challenge, set the pace with the Bonnie Blair’s. This is where things got challenging. Murder Bunnies are rightly named, and the pairing with Bonnie Blair’s should have had them named something even more sinister. YHC was grateful for Pope absolutely destroying the majority of our 200.

    We timed out during the 300 squats so that we could get 60sec of Mary in.

    Leg raises and flutter kicks took us out.

    *I remain ever grateful for men that continue to push one another in their fitness and their virtue. It is not lost on me that most beatdowns go by and no one complains, no one grumbles, no one brings the spirit down. This is one of the first things that made me stick around F3. I know it is a part of our culture here in F3 Thib, and we would make Ted proud.*

    “Futbol (F3) is life!” – Dani Rojas

    SYITG,
    Paradiddle

  • Gonna Have a Good Day – from Paradiddle

    YHC has recently felt the fire within and has been trying to recruit new pax to join this lovely cult that we call a club (both F3 and WHOOOPgang). You see, today was supposed to be a big day for one of our own. After a Friday evening prethang with Goldilocks, as we prepared our bodies (and thighs) to be sculpted into the most beautiful figures mankind could ever lay eyes on – thanks to YankeeJoe, Goldilocks, after a little peer pressure from YHC, agreed to VQ today. After a small but strong showing on Saturday, YankeeJoe had me convinced that all of the pax were out of town on the beach, pina-colada with tiny umbrella in hand. YHC was merely looking out for Goldilocks (locks, or is it lox?) by wanting a strong showing at his VQ. Locks agreed, even seeming excited to have a bit more time to prepare for the chaos he wishes to unleash upon us all this coming Thursday.

    YHC arrived with two minutes to spare (impressive, right?) to find a full showing of pax, coupons already unloaded, cheeks clenched, and mumble chatter strong. YHC was happy, and with a big smile, we began.

    Warmups were the usual not knowing how to count off anything in cadence and consisted of:
    – SSH
    – Imperial Walkers
    – Grass Grabbers (w/ the clap)
    – Open the Gates (bringing something new)

    Mumble chatter was strong and YHC was so distracted that he nearly just got right in to the beatdown. Thanks to Lil’ Cuz piping up, we actually stretched our arms (and we needed to):
    – Arm circles
    – Cherry pickers

    THANG ONE
    – Indian run w/ 3 caboose burpees
    DJ DOX was quick to be ready with ever faithful JBL, and YHC just about put him in the grave when the decision to run in silence was announced to the pax. Sometimes you just have to be alone with those inner demons and face them head on. The pace was set and kept for the run with the exception of the ever popular Cardinal-pace. We stopped midway back to the stage for a group circle of 30 Bonnie Blair’s so that we could get a bonus burn in the thighs.

    THANG TWO
    – Step Up’s & LBC’s w/ Coupons
    YHC’s current favorite tv character, Mr. Ted Lasso, has a way with people. His positivity is contagious, and many of his colleagues are often annoyed with his upbeat nature and attitude. I feel similar to Ted here. Some of the pax like to acknowledge my smile when running the Diddle Death March and other popular exercises. After my dear Ted got put down in GroupMe last night (not gonna name names *honk*), I was inspired with this routine.

    The song was “Good Day” by Nappy Roots – a real bop , frfr. We would do lbc’s with coupons on the verses and step up’s on the chorus for the duration of the song. This was sure to get the pax in a great mood this morning! We can make the decision to make it a good day from the moment we sit up in bed (lbc’s) and take our first steps of the day (step up’s).

    Mumble chatter and grunts were at a minimum, but Cuz did set the record for the most amount of bird poop anyone has laid in.

    THANG THREE
    – Merkin Mountain
    After Yankee Joe’s inspirational sharty beatdown on Saturday, YHC might have a new favorite exercise – the Merkin Mountain. YHC adapted this gem into what I’m now calling the Merkin Flatlands (which might just be tougher than the mountain – Dox I repent of saying this would be easier, I was wrong).

    We would begin with one merkin, take one step(?) in a bear crawl, two merkins, two steps in bear crawl , three merkins, three steps in bear crawl, etc until we reached 18 merkins (thanks to Cuz who remembered how many the mountain had, but im pretty sure he remembered because he got to the top right behind shari’ah and stomped the rest of us).

    This…proved to be difficult. After hearing Econoline’s thunderous grunts from afar, YHc had to pivot and reduce the mountain to 15 merkins. Those 51 pushups really would have ate our lunch.

    THANG FOUR
    – Dora
    – 100 overhead press w/ coupon
    – Partner runs a lap
    – 200 Bonnie Blair’s
    – Partner Murder Bunny’s to the second picnic table & back
    – 300 Squats
    – Partner does mountain climber’s til he tags out and swaps

    The pax plowed through the over head press and running portion, and YHC was downright inspired by Smooth making that coupon look like he was lifting a box of Kleenex above his head.

    Goose, to no surprise after May’s ISI challenge, set the pace with the Bonnie Blair’s. This is where things got challenging. Murder Bunnies are rightly named, and the pairing with Bonnie Blair’s should have had them named something even more sinister. YHC was grateful for Pope absolutely destroying the majority of our 200.

    We timed out during the 300 squats so that we could get 60sec of Mary in.

    Leg raises and flutter kicks took us out.

    *I remain ever grateful for men that continue to push one another in their fitness and their virtue. It is not lost on me that most beatdowns go by and no one complains, no one grumbles, no one brings the spirit down. This is one of the first things that made me stick around F3. I know it is a part of our culture here in F3 Thib, and we would make Ted proud.*

    “Futbol (F3) is life!” – Dani Rojas

    SYITG,
    Paradiddle

  • The death of pro shop Barry – from Wiford Montana

    This morning rolled up with much anticipation. 1yr ago was YHC first que and it happened to be the VQ of the infamous, ISI loving, jerf spitting, Yankee Josephine. That day was one to remember but this day was about showing appreciation, an appreciation of a group of like minded men that go far beyond some short one liners. Yes, we laugh and are still in utter shock at the length of goose’s shorts(I wouldn’t let my daughters out in that length inseam) but it’s beyond that. I made the decision to stick with F3 and the friendships made even in short 12 months are game changing. Keep showing up and also keep “heat checking” ur pax all u can it means something! So I will explain what we did but know what u so goes beyond the struggle.

    Warm up Tana style:
    A mix of permissible mumble chatter, backwards 1st arm circles, and bricked up Moroccan lunge nightclubs (shown by Enron,explained in great detail by Dox)

    Thang 1:
    Run the reservoir Indian run style with bricks then after the lap do 64 reps (1 for ever lb lost since Jan 1)

    Thang 2: “if you can read this ur in trouble”
    An ode to the YJ vq and his wrestling dayz
    30 alarm clocks
    30 lbc
    30 Turkish alarm clocks
    30 big boyz

    Thang 3: Diddle Death March
    Paradiddle had the pax needing more a couple weeks back when he ran us into the ground so I wanted to bring this back as part of the top Tana awards
    Burpee 10,8,7,6……1 but a long transfer jog in between

    We finished with a final lap around the building.

    Cot and Diddle prayed us out!

    SYITG
    Tana

  • Just Make Sure You Remember to Forget – from Yankee Joe

    It’s 1996 in Omaha for the 50th anniversary of the College World Series. It’s the Championship game between LSU and Miami. Warren Morris, who has been inactive most of the season due to a wrist injury, convinces the Skipper before the game to put him in the line-up.

    It’s the bottom of the 9th. LSU is down 8-7 against a prolific Miami Nine. Morris strolls to the plate with a man on third. There are two outs. The first pitch is a hard curve low and away. Morris swings with everything his wrist can handle…and it’s all over. Gone. The Walk-Off has been called by some the greatest moment in college baseball history. Morris certainly couldn’t know as he rounded second base that the Miami shortstop crying and pounding his fists in the dirt would end up being a three-time World Series champion – Alex Cora. Go Sox.

    So, if you’re LSU, you should remember 1996. Also, if you’re LSU, you should thoroughly absorb and then forget the Game 2 debacle yesterday as Florida hung 24 runs on ya. As Paradiddle reminded us about the quote from the great Ted Lasso. “Be a goldfish.”

    We would use ’96 and 24 for rep counts throughout. Just to keep us in balance.

    YHC arrived at The Stage about 20 minutes early to make sure that my burner phone would successfully hook up to BAPS. Smooth Operator was right on my tail, followed by Goldilocks, Cardinal, and Econoline. YHC had yet to meet Econoline, so this was an added bonus after a week hiatus due to being on the IR.

    Paradox rolled in with the shovel flag. He was followed by Montana and French Horn…wait no…they ballsacked again? I just assumed they would show up when prewriting my blast because they…you know…HC’d. Oh wait. They came up with their own version of “hopeful commit?” Is that a thing? Does F3 recognize that garbage? Regardless, Sans the Captain and the Pusher, the PAX finally closed ranks with the standard late arrival of Paradiddle. I’m running out of excuses to make for this guy.

    —————————-
    Thang 1: Skipping through the daisy fields – gotta be humbled.

    – (Mario punches) to sidewalk, 96 LBCs at sidewalk; then Mario punches back to stage, 24 J-Lo’s

    If you thought Cardinal was fast as a crab, you should see him tear up the pitch as a 1992 Nintendo character. I swear it looked like his feet never touched the ground.

    —————————–
    Thang 2: Humility and the Mumblechatter killer

    – Flying Nuns (lunge walk with baby arm circles) to sidewalk; 96 leg raises; Reverse Flying Nuns return to stage, 24 J-Los (2:1)

    It was during the reverse nuns that Paradox offered up his only real bit of chatter. Something to the effect of my fresh legs after a month off. If you want to keep chatter at a minimum, make YHC take the Q and don’t let Paradox get near Goose, Tana, or Enron. Take away his primary voter base, and his platform starts getting creaky.

    —————————–
    Thang 3: An American in Paris

    – Frog jump to sidewalk; 96 American hammers (1:1); Frog jump back to stage; 24 J-Los (2:1)

    This was impressive on all fronts. Smooth, Paradox, and Goldilocks traded the lead several times. I swear Goldilocks was clearing 6 feet with every jump. He and Econoline have added to what is becoming the stoic caricature of F3 Thibodaux. Like Smooth, Lil’ Cuz, and Superfun(d), these two maintain the same facial expression and just plain GRINDDD. No complaints, no chatter, no shortcuts. It’s pretty durn awesome. Also, did you know that Smooth is a J-Lo machine? His hips not only don’t lie, they’re straight up insulting your family and calling out your darkest fears. Kilmer would be proud.

    ——————————
    Thang 4: The Jake Sully

    – Zombie crawl to sidewalk; 96 Superman’s; Zombie crawl back to the stage; 24 J-Los (2:1)

    YHC believes that the zombie crawl is the single most effective (and awful) core exercise in F3. The correct form means your knees never touch the ground as you essentially elbow plank crawl with J-Lo’s. It’s brutal and it puts your lower core and obliques on full blast. It’s one of those barometer exercises that can clearly demonstrate your progress. Last March, YHC couldn’t go five yards. It’s a little better now. BUT Holy Dang, Paradiddle!!! His core strength is just stooopid.

    ——————————–
    Thang 5: Run Toward the Fire, Full Speed Ahead

    – Ongoing sprints to sidewalk, nur back until time (last 6 minutes) – goal of 24.

    I wish YHC could make some sort of commentary about the PAX performance at this point. However, my only memory between blackouts and Paradox simply flying was me yelling, “Do you want to be Morris or Cora?” I expected Goldilocks to give me a knowing nod. He admitted he had no idea what the hell I was talking about. Then it hit me that when Morris rounded the bases in that epic 1996 moment, Goldilocks wasn’t even born. I then looked around for my walker, but couldn’t find it because I couldn’t see without my glasses and was tripping over my balls…I mean dentures.

    COT and Econoline prayed us out.

    Good to be back in the swing of things. Geaux Tigahs!

    SYITG,

    YJ

  • The Greatest Kickballer Among Us – from Lil Cuz

    YHC found himself following two F3 Thib Legends into the Peltch this humid June Morning. The need for a fun Saturday was felt through all and as I drove up it seemed we finally had enough people on a Saturday to play America’s favorite Past Time, that’s right KICKBALL!!! Who didn’t have dreams of blasting one straight over the outfield and running the bases staring at your middle school crush as you round third hoping for the game winning kick celebration kiss? Just me…alrighty then. Moving on…

    Today is June 24th which is the feast of John the Baptist, who was called by Jesus Himself, “Among those born of women there has not risen anyone greater than John the Baptist”. (Matthew 11:11 for those interested in reading more) So before we played a rousing game of kickball we had to rise to the occasion and chase after the G.O.A.T himself.

    Thang 1:
    Cindy Crawford – this was to get our whole body in the best shape it can be, which of course is bikini body ready. It’s beach vacation time after all.
    AMRAP:
    – 5 Pull Ups
    – 10 Merkins
    – 15 Squats
    – 20 LBC’s
    – 25 Toe Raises
    This lasted 15 minutes and TONS of mumble chatter later everyone realized they can do WAY more pull ups than they thought before we started. T-Claps all around!

    Thang 2:
    Coach Burpee – YHC has been coaching his oldest 2.0’s baseball team and it has taught me more patience and made me realize we are viewed outside of our homes sometimes more than in it and a good coach can get even the most un-motivated player to do things neither thought they could do.

    Pax split into teams of 3 or 4 due to number of Pax at Peltch today.
    – P1 does Burpees
    – P2 yells encouragements to keep going
    – P3 runs ¼ mile
    – P1 switches to P2, P2 switches to P3, P3 switches to P1.

    This originally was supposed to be until all Pax had completed a mile, but due to unfortunate time constraints this was changed to ½ mile and not at all due to everyone being gassed from hitting, by my latest estimate, 275 burpees in 15 minutes. It was awesome to hear yells of encouragement coming from all coaches and I know a bunch of Pax hit numbers of burpees they did not think they would hit prior to starting. T-Claps all around!

    Thang 3:

    KickBall Game:
    Split into 2 teams. Buy in is 5 Squats or 5 LBC’s. No one chose LBC’s which was expected or because no one heard me say this and just kept with squats. The world may never know.
    When kicking, you can kick normally and all defense has to do 2 merkins before they can play the ball.

    Can choose to do a trick kick (ex: kick backwards, kick behind back, left foot), if this is chosen then defense must do 5 merkins before playing the ball.

    When running the bases: normal kick – bear crawl to base. Trick kick – lunge walk to base. This was changed to run after the first inning to get some runs in.

    True colors truly came out in this game. We had quitters whose team never let him live it down and to this day is known as “Quitter-Mcgee”. Strange world we live in when guys who can’t show up on time start pegging 2.0’s with dodgeballs as they run the bases. After the mayhem Team 1 had to show Team 2 a lesson for hitting innocent 2.0’s and loaded up the bases with said 2.0’s. Then threw out the big guns in Smooth who absolutely crushed the ball with his left foot and brought all 2.0’s in for a score with the biggest hit single in kickball history! Truly awe-inspiring stuff!

    There were no cute girls to wink at while rounding third, just Enron dripping sweat and cheering on his team and Dox asking for the ump, who could not be found. I think we made John the Baptist proud despite all of this but he is still the G.O.A.T. Thanks for pushing hard today fellas!

    SYITG,
    Lil Cuz’

  • Run to the Father – from Paradox

    9 strong at the stage and ya know dat bayou summer is in full swing when it’s a balmy 81 before you even slip on your mudgears. YHC rolled back in (after forgetting JBL on the charger) to a steadily growing group of Pax bolstered by a fresh wave of our seminarian Pax getting back in dat action.
    The promises had been free flowing in the preBlast groupme with commitments of all shapes and sizes. Hopeful commits, repeat HC fartsack offenders, cardinal fanning flames, Even a brand new “FC”. That’s a frog commit, when pickleball says Jump , you say how high?
    Ya really really hate to see it but we pushed forward.

    Duke! run back home and get the footage. Your still a good boy!

    Warmup
    A respectable set of the usuals with extra care for the lower back.
    The newest fad injury in F3 Thib is a tight back (although YJ will say he’s been doing it before it was mainstream) and after getting nuked by the diddle list on Saturday we all needed some careful grass grabbers.

    The Thang

    YHC decided that directly after Fathers day was a good time to cover the parable of the prodigal son. So many perspectives to reflect on from this amazing parable but today YHC wanted to focus on the contrasting emotions and inner turmoil of the father/son. YHC Just needed a good canvas for this medium and during a recent downRange vacation post YHC was introduced to the total brutality of a Jack Webb medley (shout out to HouseCall). It felt like a great way to express the conflicting inner emotions of the parable all while pondering if Thibodaux has any oxygen in the atmosphere.

    First we had to take the inheritance and run away. We formed up in a Indian run with a last man Drop off – 10 Carolina dry docks facing away , see your family getting farther away.
    We jammed to Ghetto Cowboy while we counted our inheritance cash followed by a choice Goose selection of Ford Econoline and all was right in the world…

    Feeling pretty good about ourselves with endless money we stopped for Jack Webb #1
    Merkins and Air Raises up to 10/20
    The son beats his chest while the father prays “why?”

    We moseyed on starting to feel the strain of responsibility but still depending on ourselves we ditched our van and set out on foot looking for love in all the wrong places.
    100ish yard Lunge to DJ Snake/Bieber “Just let me Love You “
    Are you a Beliber now Cardinal ?

    We continued forward in a Jello Mosey
    There is now a famine in the land, times are tough. But the son still depends on himself.
    We headed for the pig pen to get in the slop. (Perfectly placed port o potty)

    Jack Webb #2
    Captain Thor
    BBSU/American Hammers (3 count)
    The son is pulling himself up (BBSU) while the father continues wrestling with his absence (hammers)

    Time to Run Home
    No money
    No love
    No friends
    Deep in the slop just hoping for a bite of the pig food.
    The crucial moment of uncertainty. I will return to be my fathers servant , but will he accept me ?

    Air Squats/Mountain climbers
    1 squat and 2 MC to depict the son running to the Father who was not only waiting but fervently seeking him daily.

    Run Back home w guidance
    Pair up and one pax run while guiding is partner in Nur.

    Back Home
    Song
    – Run to the Father -Matt Maher
    We held Tipper Gores on the song (atleast initially) with jump tuck on Run and Merkins on Again.
    Legs got reallll wobbly.

    Animal shirt awarded to Goldilocks! Back to back posts and this man is in pretty good shape if you are taking notes at home. Stay golden brother.

    COT and Diddle prayed us out

    Great effort across the board and awesome to have Goldilocks and Econoline in the mix. Grateful to be alongside you men today and always a privilege to lead.

    YHC is often reminded of the repetitive nature of the “returning to the Father “ portion of this parable. So easy to get bogged down the moment we return to the ole pig pen especially when you have been there sooo much the pigs know you by name. But there is such deep consolation of knowing that even as we tire in repetitive sin our Fathers endless mercy is always waiting.

    SYITG
    Paradox

  • Death is Temporary – from Goose

    YHC thought it appropriate to capitalize on the cardio boost most of the PAX have experienced as a result of participating in the May Challenge as well as the increase in tenacity and mental toughness. And, stepping down the intensity could be a slippery slope. Only one way to go! DEATH!!
    It is YHC’s understanding that in the earliest days of Christianity, when they would baptize someone, they would bring them to a river, put them all the way under water, and then hold them there until they started to panic and fight before bringing them up. This was to give the baptizee a real, felt experience of the reality of death in the process of receiving the gift of new life. Any taste of the reality of your own mortality changes you, grounds you, and shines new, clearer light on all the other aspects of your life.
    So, what better day than a day in which we’re proud of what we’ve accomplished, what we’ve built over the month of May, to feel our own mortality.

    We started with a warmup of the usuals along with some Willie Mays Hayes before Indian running (regular type) up the levee, around half the lake, and onto the tennis courts. In a nod to Dox, YHC brought along Oontz and a sea shanty about the death of an honored general (“General Taylor” by Great Big Sea). This was where YHC realized that Oontz hadn’t somehow gained strength by resting him for a few months. This didn’t bode well for what was to come.

    On the tennis courts, the PAX waited patiently while YHC and Pope set up yet another Bleep Test, once again measuring wrongly, too short this time (that first lap felt way too easy), though after the beatdown looking back, I’m sure many were grateful for the rest.
    Once we finally got it right, Oontz was fired up–he already seemed nervous during the Indian Run, and without JBL or BAPS available, I could tell he also felt like the benchwarmer who had been called up after everyone else caught the stomach bug or something. His bleeps were barely audible despite multiple threats and ridicule, but the game went on, and the PAX performed exceedingly well.
    The first few times we did this, most PAX didn’t make it out of the 30’s (number of lengths run, not official Bleep Test scoring, which is weird). Last time, at The Stage, most didn’t start falling away until the 40’s and some into the 50’s. Today, though, there was not one PAX who dropped off until around 60. No joke. Once out, the rules were you had to plank up or complete 25 merkins (or Big Boys) to buy your way back in, which they did. We ultimately finished at 70, blowing our numbers from two weeks ago (or so) out of the water. I think it was because of the hype speech YHC was giving while measuring (and remeasuring): men who fought in battles, who sprinted across fields toward enemies who were sprinting at them, who rode into hand to hand combat with no fear of death or knowledge of the outcome, who still bust down doors with no certainty of what’s behind them, at some point stopped trying to calculate their odds of survival. They didn’t self-evaluate to see how tired they were or wonder how much longer they could endure; they just moved. And, today, we grew in our ability to let go of wondering how much more we can do, in our ability to push off the temptation to say, “Ok, but only 3 or 2 or 1 more of these.” We still, of course, have a long way to go, which is why the 2nd thang was what it was.

    After multiple 10-counts, we moseyed back to the Lion, picked up our blocks, and moved to the sidewalk. We lined up and YHC explained that we would be doing 11’s: bicep curls on this end and tricep curls at the next (20-25 yards). Transportation would be lunge walks (with coupon) there and rifle carry back. YHC heard a couple of groans, saw some mouths drop open, and in a couple of faces, just blank surrender–the decision to just enter into the pain without trying to measure it, cuz, hey, who of us actually deserves ease and comfort?
    The first few laps were hard, which YHC expected–muscles gotta wake up and get with the program. After 5 or 6, YHC could feel the temptation to modify it to 7’s instead of 11’s, but then I remembered the many times I just kept pushing, grinding one more lap, then another, without wondering how many more I could take, not giving myself the choice to stop, and it’s amazing how much further you can go when you stop giving yourself a way out. We had the time, so we just kept going. And the rest of the PAX did, too. It was a beautiful thing to see.

    We finished right at 6:00, but the pride and gratitude of what we had just accomplished together (and over the past month) didn’t hit until after about 4 or 5 minutes (after the heart rate dropped back down to normal). There was no Animal shirt (or GiGi), but the each man’s performances could’ve easily earned it. (YHC was waiting for French to crush another coupon, and was a little disappointed that he didn’t. Three in a row would’ve been epic.)

    COT and French Horn prayed us out–safe travels for the many out this weekend and gratitude for what we’ve been given. YHC is certainly grateful for the men who posted this morning and shared a healthy little taste of death. Nothing binds you together as brothers better than that!

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • Fubar – from Goose

    FUBAR.
    It’s a term you may have heard if you, like me, have spent part of your Memorial Day weekend watching Spielberg’s great film where Captain Miller leads his men behind enemy lines to rescue Private James Ryan. The entire mission is classified as Fubar from the very beginning from the men, but they learn that only with the strength of one another and trusting the lead of their Captain will they successfully complete their mission. Today Being Memorial Day, it was only right that we should suffer a little bit more than usual to pay our respects for the men and women that have served our country so bravely by giving their life. This was the very reason Private Ryan needed to be rescued – because his brothers had given their very lives for the sake of their country.

    _____

    YHC barely arrived on time to find 9 PAX already at the Stage with coupons arranged in the most organized fashion. Warmups consisted of SSH, windmills, and high knees. Before YHC could complete warmups, Cardinal arrived carrying some speed in his Vandebilt blue speed wagon. Warmpus finished with butt kicks, and mountain climbers.

    Thang 1
    – Partner Bropee Mile Indian Run w/ Bonnie Blair’s –
    YHC’s list of strengths might be running and cardio, but giving clear directions definitely did not make the list. The PAX partnered up and completed 5 Bonnie Blair’s before racing to the front of the partner Indian line, stopping every 1/4 mile and completing some Bropees (a burpee completed alongside your parter ending in a high ten at the top of the squat jump). YHC had the Pax breathing hard, and by the time the group reached the half mile mark, the sounds of some old animal filled the quiet of the early morning. The only thing to distract from the animalistic breathing sounds were the welcome butt slaps from those running to the front of the line. In total, 28 bropees were completed.

    Thang 2
    – Ascending Testicles & Coupon Lunges –
    YHC’s thorough reading of the Exicon introduced the PAX to a few new exercises – one of them being Ascending Testicles (a cousin of balls to the wall – declined merkins that progressively have a more extreme angle). The Pax would complete 10 merkins on ground level, 10 declined merkins on the bench part of a picnic table, and 10 declined merkins from the table part of a picnic table, followed by lunging with a coupon to a different picnic bench across the pitch. This would complete one set. Ultimate VQ hype man/DJ extraordinaire POO-X came to the rescue by providing tunes to motivate everyone to push through the rush of blood to their brains. In total three sets were completed, leaving time for the final thang.

    Thang 3
    – Butkus + Lion King + a lil’ jog –
    Heart rates were resting in a steady zone 3, so a ten count was in order (YHC has no recollection of who let two 10 counts, because at this point, his mind was complete fubar). Another jumble of instructions from YHC proved to confuse the Pax. Perhaps it was the terrible instructions, or perhaps it was the mumble chatter coming from the marketing trio of Tana, Horn, and Joe, but YHC had to pipe up, let those furballs descend, and use an “outside” voice to finish explaining butkus (rapid step ups on a curb for at least a minute) and Lion King (low squat into a thruster with a coupon). Much to YHC’s surprise, the pax crushed three sets of 1min Butkus, 1min Lion King, and a lap around the pitch. Smooth was locked in pretending that coupon was one of his rugrats, and Horn couldn’t control his strength and began his streak of crushing coupons with his bare hands.

    The morning ended with two minutes of Mary – Freddie Mercury’s, leg raises, and probably something else – but YHC’s mind was indeed fubar by this point and thus no new memories were able to be made.

    6:00am arrived sooner than YHC anticipated, and it proved to be bittersweet. The nerves from the VQ were gone, and only laughs and sweat were to behold. Hopes of 13.0 strain filled the air, and YHC found himself basking in those good good endorphins that only F3 Thibodaux can produce.

    __________

    So, the Memorial Day beatdown mission turned out not to be fubar, but instead a witness and sacrifice in thanksgiving for the lives of those gone before us by giving their life. I remain humbled, grateful, and surprised but the continual growth of the men that continue to show up, put out, and suffer much to make themselves and those around them better.

    – Paradiddle

  • F4 by Pope – from Goose

    If YHC learned anything today, it is that improv is an essential skill in many different scenarios in life; F3 is certainly no exception.
    First, there were the signs… very oddly placed STADIUM CLOSED signs contradicting the wide-open gates from which they hung. And the padlock on the gates behind the goalpost, also open.
    YHC began to worry, since a major part of the thang consisted of material requiring hash marks, then relaxed a bit when Cardinal showed up.
    Then Cardinal dropped the bomb on YHC that the stadium was actually closed this time.
    Not only that, but the field beside Bayou Road was dominated by peewee baseball fence.
    YHC also learned (and please store this in your memory—could come in handy if you get into a similar pickle) that the Chimney is a very versatile backup location.
    YHC began the beatdown revolving around the sport that Yankee Joe had yet to theme—not futbol, not America’s mere pastime of baseball, but America’s sport—with the usual warmups (SSH, windmills, SL, etc.) and debuted A-skips to the warmup arsenal.
    After completing windmills, the gloom was pierced by Paradox’s cry of “Keep it midnight!” and on that somewhat foreboding cue, Dox, Lil Cuz, Piccadilly and Enron pulled off their shirts and blinded the bewildered PAX with neon shirts with the sleeves apparently cut and/or torn off, decorated by the stenciled abbreviation TLM along with the wearer’s name on the back. Dox outdid himself when he and his neon minions donned similarly colored headbands stenciled with #KIP. YHC overcame the shock with great struggle and continued warmups…
    The PAX moseyed to the Chimney and very easily separated into teams: the Midnight Owls (and Enron’s 2.0 FNG Harrison) against all—YHC, Goose, Cardinal, French Horn and Coyote. YHC determined the boundaries and initiated a game of football—football according to Tom Cruise and the Top Gun: Maverick crew. This version of the game (first of all, was originally planned for the Bayou Rd. field) consisted of two footballs, two quarterbacks on the field at one time, and all PAX playing offense and defense at the same time.
    The balls were placed after each play on the spot where the ballcarrier who had gained more yards was stopped, and according to which side of the field in which the line of scrimmage was, the team defending it did 5 8-ct body-builders while the opposing team performed 5 big boys (YHC thinks he should have stressed the need to keep track of May Challenge exercises a good bit more; if you haven’t already calculated that, have fun). If a team scored, they were assigned 10 star-jumps, with the defeated, shamed defense doing 10 burpees. In the case of both teams scoring, all PAX did 25 merkins.
    Ultimately, the neon-green dark of midnight was overcome by Team Morning Light by a score of 6-4. Highlight of the game: YHC dropped back to pass and noticed Piccadilly sprinting up the field with their ball. YHC rolled to the right and tagged Dilly with his left hand and the ball, then turned on the jets and ran beyond the line of scrimmage. YHC planted his foot and cut right to avoid Paradox, then lateralled to Goose—a pass that fell far behind Goose, who couldn’t even touch it as it fell to the ground and was recovered by Enron. YHC then decided to be a jerk and call the game. Hey, it was five minutes past the previously determined end time anyway!
    Knowing that most of the PAX hadn’t thrown a ball yet today and had untested throwing arms, YHC circled up the PAX and began a game of throw-&-catch, during which one would catch the oncoming ball, pass it to another PAX, then drop for a couple of burpees—three if he dropped the pass and picked it up to throw it.
    Next Goose and Coyote fell back from the PAX and waited for the first two contestants of the longest-throw elimination-style contest. Two PAX attempted to throw the football farther than the other, the winner choosing a May Challenge exercise and the number of reps to do while the loser did 15 merkins and 15 big boys (yet another accidental complication in the tracking of reps). YHC was victorious in the cannon-arm contest. Next the PAX competed for the longest punt, the contest consisting of the same mechanics. However, having witnessed Goose’s thunderous punts while returning thrown balls to the PAX, the competition was really for second place, a title won by Piccadilly.
    Returning to the flag with the rest of the PAX, YHC observed the unfortunate fact that most of the time spent at the Chimney was spent standing around, either in the huddle or waiting for one’s turn to throw/punt. With that in mind, YHC was determined to add the initially aimed-for grind of the beatdown via Mary. After leading the PAX in the previously debuted Down for the Count, Mary consisted of penguins, WWI sit-ups (which were apparently new to the long-absent Cardinal), Dr. Ws and Freddy Mercuries.
    YHC had the original draft of the beatdown written out in early May and figured that all would go according to the anticipated plan. However, much was overturned, and YHC is just glad that rules are made to be broken and that YHC didn’t focus very hard on the beatdown’s every detail, as he usually does.
    SYITG,
    Pope