F3 New Orleans

Tag: End Time

  • The Thrillabon in the Audubon

    Being an F3 Nation member for only 10 months (last race I was nothin but a gleam in a Hawg’s eye), the Gnarly Nutria was the stuff of legend. A back and forth sporting event like the world has not witnessed since Ali vs. Frazier. Two heavyweights going toe to toe for 5.4 miles with the Uptowners dominating Gnarly Nutria I and The World squeaking by with a narrow victory in Gnarly Nutria II.

    This year The World looked to overwhelm the smug Uptowners with numbers, and we have been recruiting. I was even dreaming of running the first race of my life but fell to the wayside with a calf injury on Friday. Although The World would now be missing their best runner, they still persevered and began the race with a distinct advantage in numbers.

    Following an epic lightning storm, the race began at 9:10pm. Our first finishers were a family group, and hat’s off to Sandbar who brought two of his 2.0s who finished the first lap in solid time.

    I knew the Uptowners were going to be in trouble when the first runners to not complete all three laps were Uptowners. Then the top two finishers of all three laps were both from the World and the landslide began. Like an over-the-hill Frazier against Ali, the Uptowners were no match for The World in Gnarly Nutria III.

    The final score was 446 The World and 354 Uptowners. The World is so fast, we turned off the lights in our bedrooms when we got home last night and we were in bed before the room was dark.

    We welcomed 4 FNGs into our numbers in the largest sweaty ball of man I have ever seen. I got to hand it to the runners, the names for our new members were great. We welcome Tubbs, Tramp Stamp, Right Cheek and his brother Left Cheek to F3. May we forget your real names and always refer to you by your F3 names in public.

    Here are your Gnarly Nutria top finishers:

    1. Smooth – The World

    2. Turbo Tax – The World

    3. Pony Boy – Uptowner

    4. El Guapo – The World

    5. Mulligan – Uptowner

    6. End Time – The World

    7. YSR – Uptowner

    8. Swampcock – Uptowner

    9. Cavalier – Uptowner

    10. Mahatma-Ice – The World

    11. Right Cheek – The World

    12. Nip/Tuck – Uptowner

    13. Jadaveon – Uptowner

    14. Cowbell – The World

    15. Hawgcycle – The World

    16. Thighs – The World

    17. Freedo – Uptowner

    18. Cornbread – The World

    19. El Wire – Uptowner

    20. Mariah – Uptowner

    21. Rudy – The World

    22. Rocket – The World

    23. Peppa – Uptowner

    24. Saban – Uptowner

    25. Tubba – The World

    26. Tramp stamp – The World

    27. Bubba – The World

    28. Shorty – The World

    29. Brownbag – Uptowner

    30. Landing Strip – Uptowner

    Left cheek, Bad Moon, Two Yutes, Shooter, Bushwacker, Einstein, 86, Pi, Walleye, King Kong, Triple Shift, Reluctant Yankee, and Roots fell just outside the top 30 in this order. I couldn’t keep up with the names after Roots. Congrats to all who finished and all who completed 1 or 2 laps. Thank you for helping us all be better men as we do stupid, pointless things like run for no reason in the middle of a lightning storm while chased by Jaguars.

    I’m inviting you to our next AO at “the Boxing Match” sculpture in Kenner’s Rivertown. The first Wednesday of September will be the launch of the F3 NOLA “Fight Club.”

    Your Humble Scorekeeper (I don’t plan on doing this next year, so someone else better get hurt right before the race in 2019),

    RevSox

  • 8ball Qball

    YHC’s first Saturday Q:

    BACKSTORY: YHC stayed out late the night before and still hadn’t formed the plan…but it was done by about 02:00 when YHC finished his festivities. As a precaution not to fartsack the Q YHC drove to the location and, after attaching a note to the window that said “WAKE THE Q”, turned down the seat and went to sleep until the morning. But the note wasn’t necessary as YHC just shot up awake at 06:00. Fortunately YHC awoke early because, like every morning, there was a sycamore down under if you catch my driftwood…err drift. After running behind a dumpster behind a building to fix the situation, YHC returned to start the thang.

    YHC skipped the foreplay and awaited the rest of the PAX that would show.

     

    Warmup:

    Monkey Humpers, imperial walkers, windmills, monkey humpers

    The Thang:

    1.) partnered up, one person does sit-ups while the other is lunging with twist approx. 30yds and return back with side shimmy to switch with partner until 200 sit-ups reached.

    2.) partnered up, one planks while other sprints same distance back and forth. 10 rounds.

    3.) partnered up, “Bad Dog” one bear crawls while other is in front of them back peddling 30 yds. Then switch roles back to start line. 5 rounds.

    4.) duck duck goose abs circle – PAX in a circle doing flutter kicks until everyone takes a turn sprinting around the circle. Second round was same thing but with Freddy Mercuries.

    COOL DOWN

    ran back to flag, monkey humpers

    COT, BOM – jul 4th event announced by Turbo

    new FNG = ZOOLANDER