F3 New Orleans

Tag: Enron

  • “Brick killed a guy” – from Enron

    Better late than never a backblast from Monday, 7/18/22.

    YHC rolled up to the stage in the dark to prepare for the morning’s beatdown. After some prior recalling from Paradox that it has been a while since the bricks have been seen, a theme popped up. 12 bricks were unloaded and prepared for the PAX. (Fortunately, 2 extra bricks were unveiled as Paradox found that they are more fragile than previously believed).
    Shortly thereafter the following started rolling in:

    PAX: Enron, Goose, Paradox, Wilford Montana, Yankee Joe

    Warmup: the usual plus a couple with a mosey, bricks in hand, to the stop sign afterwards – SSH, WM, AC, Cherry Pickers, Grass Grabbers, IW

    After gathering at the stop sign, YHC informed the PAX that the bricks were now a part of them. “There are many bricks like this, but these bricks are mine”. Instructing that the bricks would not be placed on the ground for the remainder of the time.

    Thang 1: Rich Man’s Row Run/Nur
    Rotating Run and Nur between each light pole along the way, the following exercises were completed at each pole with bricks.
    5 x Hand Release Brick Merkins
    10 x Flys with Bricks (The clapping/showing-off of the bricks during this is what broke two bricks for Paradox, resulting in having to carry 4 pieces for the remainder of the run)
    15 x Arms out Squats
    20 x Shoulder Taps
    25 x Moroccan Night Clubs
    Rinse and Repeat – completed 3 rounds of these before making it back to the front of the Stage

    Thang 2: A song – “Brick House” – The Commodores
    After some banter about difficulties of connecting to JBL and the ongoing discussion/argument of which portable speaker is best, the song was started. Thanks to Wilford Montana for the correct guess on the year “Brick House” was released – 1977.
    The following was performed:
    Curls for the duration of the song
    Overhead clap on “Brick”
    Seal Clap on “House”

    Thang 3: 7-18-22s
    Chose a triangle using the picnic tables that the PAX are praying are still around for the St. Vincent 500, the following exercises were completed at each one, still with bricks:
    7- Moroccan Night Clubs
    Bear Crawl to Table
    18 – V ups
    Crab Walk
    22 – Curls
    Mosey

    Next Round:
    7 – Tricep Extensions
    Bear Crawl
    18- Floyd Mayweather’s
    Crab Walk
    22 – Nolan Ryan’s (11 on Each side)
    Mosey back

    Finished with some brick included Mary.

    COT and prayed us out. It was a great experience this morning with these guys, thanks to all that made it.

    Till next time in the Gloom,
    Enron

  • The Life of St. Vincent de Paul – from Paradox

    Bright morning sun, fresh cut grass and a few buried treasures met 10 PAX Saturday at the Peltch. The hype for the St. Vincent 500 is steadily building so YHC decided to give the PAX a history beatdown and honor the life of this great Saint.

    Standard issue warmup with some added flare. What/who is a Nancy Kerrigan? Still a mystery. During a recent beatdown intervention YHC was confronted by none other than Enron (Et tu, Brute?) about doing backwards arm circles during the time that is not clearly designated for either forward or backward arm circles. Strong opinions were laid on the table. An entire life’s work of beatdown warmups were questioned. Lines were drawn in the sand. In the end YHC acknowledged the error in his ways and gave into the authorities. Henceforth Q designates forward or backward AC. So let it be written.

    Enough Tom Foolery, to the beatdown..

    THANG 1 -The Early Life

    St. Vincent de Paul was born in a peasant village in rural France on 4/24/1581.
    PAX partnered up to get some monkey bar hang time while the partner knocked out 4 burpees, flap jack, followed by 24 LBCs, flap jack ,followed by 81 SSH. Flap jack. Tons of mumblechatter about the health attributes of a dead hang. Yankee Joe assured us his shoulder joints had actual cob webbs and Cardinal hung bravely from the short bar with worldclass form. We were all better for it. Coyote could still be hanging if he wanted to. The joint laxity is strong with 2.0s.

    A short mosey to the ball field where we continued to contemplate the hard work that St. Vincent learned while helping his family tend farm animals and plow fields. Staying in partner groups in wheelbarrow format we worked a small plot of land then had to flip the equipment for partner leg raises. Partners then swapped and one was the plow while the other provided the manpower. This was completed during the length of the classic from Jason Aldean “Amarillo Sky”. Team Goose with an impressive display of teamwork here as the 2.0s took a leg each to help Pops plow his field. Tclaps

    Mosey to the cornhole zone for a musical interlude. St. Vincent’s parents noticed his intelligence, and after many sacrifices were able to send him to study for the priesthood. After excelling in school, he was ordained as a priest at the age of 19. Due to the law at the time, he could not perform duties as a parish priest until 24 so he decided to pursue degrees in canon law and theology. Becoming a theology Rockstar was his goal but this was also a time of great spiritual turmoil for the young priest.

    PAX listened to “Party Rock” and performed Imperial walkers during the intro, seal claps on “claps” and then a cluster of
    Bonnie Blairs during the chorus. Earmuffs were applied as YHC could not find the nonexplicit version.

    Thang 2 -Seven Seas and “The Mission”

    After completing his education St. Vincent was eager to serve as a priest and put his years of learning into practice. God had other plans. He was captured by pirates and eventually sold into slavery. Through a span of 2 years he was traded from ship to ship. Instead of despair, St. Vincent used this time to learn alchemy, navigations, and continue the discernment process to find what God truly had planned for him.

    JBL played “Around the World” by Daft Punk while PAX completed around the world lunges and Moroccan night clubs during the short breaks.

    Next we headed for the seven seas. A preset course of cones directed us into stations of “treasure” on the crest of each wave. PAX started with 4x4x4 (merkins, mountain climbers SSH) as a single pax was fed into the ocean at a time. Crest stations included kettlebell OHP x10, heavy bar OHP x10 and dumbbell flies x10 while trough stations involved 5 merkins. Run between cones.

    St. Vincent eventually converted his own slave master to Christianity and won his release returning to France where he began the Congregation of the Mission and Daughters of Charity. Above all else his mission was to “be Christ among the poor “and to “see Christ among the poor”. He spent the next 30 plus years serving the poor and “left behind” population of France and allocating resources to provide for organizations to continue this work.

    We used these same 7 stations for “St. Vincent Webb’s” which consisted of increasing merkins x1 and air presses x2 until 7 merkins and 14 air presses were achieved. On the way back we did LBC x2 and American Hammers x4 in increasing fashion until 14 lbcs and 28 American hammers were complete.
    A mosey back to flag to complete the last segment of St. Vincent’s life. While afflicted with painful sores on his lower extremities St. Vincent was bound to a chair or bed until his death. He did not let this hamper his mission. He completed thousands of letters to the aristocracy of France and utilized these resources to provide for the poor and needy.

    Special round of Mary where we completed no leg movement core exercises. Penguins, big boy situps, Nolan Ryans, scuba steves and Australian sweat angels.
    COT and Prayer

    **Post Beatdown extra curriculars: encore version of “Party Rock” was completed while picking up cones and YHC accessories. Some say Enrons dance moves changed the course of Thibodaux history. Others were less enthused.

    Thanks for letting me lead fellas. As always I had a ball creating and attempting to execute this one. Excited to serve this community and continue the mission of St. Vincent de Paul through our upcoming fundraiser.

    Sign up your team for the SV500 and lets get those sponsorships locked down.

    SYITG
    Paradox

  • Humility is a Moving Target – from Goose

    Storm clouds threatened as 6 PAX gathered in the muggly gloom for YHC’s third and somewhat wonky attempt at a beatdown. Nevertheless, the theme was true and the PAX was hungry. Said theme revolved around gratitude and humility.

    Warmup:
    The norm with an added deep hip flexor pulses (thing yoga crescent lunch with a hint of wife pleasers)

    Thang 1: Psalm 30:6-7
    We all too often, during the good times, can become complacent and thus tempted to push Him aside and “take over the reins.” Even in the tougher times, we are eager to “do it ourselves.” This is self-will run riot. To remind us of this awesome show of humility on the part of King David…
    PAX completed a set of worst worst merkins (6 ct each in slow cadence) with an additional 6 ct of full extended push-ups to fire up the core. (30 total); Lunged 15 yards; Round of mucho leg-o, 5 ct each of narrow squats, normal squats, wide squats, jump squats, and bonnie blair’s (30 total); Bear crawl 15 yards back to starting marker (15 + 15 = 30)

    Thang 2: Highway to Hell
    YHC spoke of a time when he took matters into his own hands, ignored all of the signs (literal and otherwise), and…well…destroyed a minivan and his pride. It was a powerful moment in humility (and certainly gratitude). With free will, we certainly must “drive,” but we also must pay attention to the signs and guideposts.

    PAX was treated to BOSÉ and an effortless demonstration of musical elysium to the tune of “Highway to Hell” by AC/DC. PAX did J-Lo’s throughout, dropping down for scuba steve’s during the chorus.

    Thang 3: Matthew the Egyptian (Matt 18:20)
    Part of YHC’s immense gratitude for the Thibodaux PAX could not be better summarized than Matt 18:20, “For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.”

    PAX lined up and completed a long series of “walk like an egyptian,” in which the entire PAX low lunged and held, while twisting core to the side of the front knee. The last PAX completed 5 LBC’s, bolted to the front of the line; the entire PAX then lunged to the opposite leg with opposite core twist. PAX completed 18 held lunges for a duration of 5 1/2 minutes. (In retrospect, the thang would work better with a larger PAX and clearer instructions from YHC)

    Thang 4: Illusion of Control
    To really break through our need for control in this life, we have to push through to a place where it (control) ceases to exist. In this case, muscle failure.
    PAX did merkins (OYO) until failure. Enron, Goose, and Paradox scorched YHC’s failure point of 32

    Next, PAX did squats until failure. Cardinal and Montana showed off some impressive stamina and eventually YHC had to call it for sake of time (next time, it will be bonnie blairs!).

    Next, freddie mercury’s and finally back to regular merkins under cadence; when YHC failed, Goose picked up the count with Goose and Paradox putting on a showcase of Dad strength.

    PAX finished with a strong session of Mary, big boy sit-ups, zombie crunches, supermans, scuba steve’s, etc. – all 30 ct. For the final exercise, yet to be named (our research team is madly combing through the Exicon literature), PAX got into superman position, but with hands behind head and toes grounded. Then lifted entire torso up to the left; returned to start position, still hovering, then lifted the torso up to right; returned to hover. PAX completed 10 count with a low country chorus of Gollum-like mumble(grunting).

    COT and Montana prayed us out. Grateful for the opportunity to serve. Will sharpen up transitions for next time.

    The storm never materialized.

    SYITG,

    Yankee Joe

  • DJ DOD – from Paradox

    Deep in the depths of the Paradox iPhone lives a playlist that has no name. It feeds on the souls of poor burpee form. It has daily injections of AC/DC and Led Zeppelin. It never stops looking for repetitive songs to link with even more repetitive exercises. It delights at the thought of mumblechatter. It has one singular purpose: smoke the PAX. It has grown for months in darkness waiting to be unleashed on unsuspecting individuals at the Stage when the moment was right…
    YHCc (your humble co-coordinator) rolled into a pitch-black stage after an early morning power outage. After questionable attendance and busy schedules abound a pre planned CoQ beatdown was ready to roll with Enron. A simple mixture of 1 deck of death plus a playlist was proposed and when the whistle blew 5:30 am the Stage lights flashed on and the monster was unleashed.

    Warmup
    Enron lead us through some favorites (SSH, WM, IW, grass grabbers ) and YHCc led a shoulder stretch series capped by a bumper Mosey with a beautiful sunrise where we weighed the pros and cons of an on site bathroom for the SV500 . (it was voted neigh x3)

    THANG
    Justin Timberlake got us started with “Cant stop the feeling” One pax ran the track , high knees on bench straight away while 2 pax got jiggy with some Morrocans. Cant stop the feeling indeed.
    DOD round 1: 20 merkins, 12 burpees, 17 LBCs
    Eminem led us to the picnic tables where we completed incline merkin types in ring of fire format during “Till I collapse”. Yankee Joe came up with an ingenious variation of staggered picnic table merkins. We alternated merkins sets with ring of fire step up. Well played slim shady.
    DOD round 2: 20 incline merkins, 400m sprint, 15 RosaLitas. Some confusion here on difference between Rosalita and Hello Dollie and Gooses deep exicon knowledge was sorely missed. (he had an appropriate excused absence)

    We once again fell into a burning Ring of Fire during Bear crawls around the picnic table while Johnny Cash informed us that love was a burning thing born of wild desire. Merkins for every “fire” and continuous bearcrawls the rest. We felt the love Johnny.

    DOD round 3- 100 SSH, Bear crawl, Karaoke to sidewalk and back

    YHCc gave the pax a disclaimer that things were about to get weird as JBL pulled a favorite from YHCc’s high school techno phase. Benny Benassi’/Skrillex led us through Cinema with Bicycles during all the beat drops and a variety of core for the rest (penguins, lbcs, big boys, leg raises). Enron got lost in a techno haze as the bicycle pace picked up and only a timely “recover” saved him from a strobe light seizure.

    2 minutes left for Lil Jon to ask us a deep philosophical question: Turn Down for What???
    Burpees on this phrase and IW on the rest. A fine finisher. Is there really anything We should turn down for? We are still searching for the answer.

    Announcements: Tuesdays at 6am for the new AO @ Shriever park. Continued preparations for the SV 500.
    Congrats to the Dawsons on the new 2.0 baby Joseph! There are reports his lil baby crunches are already surpassing his fathers form.
    COT and Enron prayed us out.

    Thanks to Enron for the co-Q . DJ DOD had a nice tempo and will be a Stage mainstay.
    Beautiful morning with a lot of Gods blessings to celebrate. Thanks for the opportunity fellas.

    SYITG

    DJ Pdox

  • A New AO? What the BLEEP?? – from Goose

    After Lumen Christi told us their retreat schedule was getting too packed to let a bunch of rowdy, burpeeing, snake biting, HIMs run around the otherwise quiet and reflective property every Tuesday morning, YHC made a quick hunt for a solution. The first choice was Schriever Park, and after making a visit on the way home from work, it was clear that it had great potential: playground equipment, benches galore, bleachers, baseball field, large fields of grass, and tennis courts. So, at 6am, 5 PAX hesitatingly made their way through the gate and into a new frontier. It doesn’t have an F3 name yet, but it certainly delivered this morning, and all were in agreement that we’d be back next Tuesday. (A little PTSD always keeps you coming back!)

    Warmup: When YHC didn’t start with SSH, the PAX had to pick their brains up off the grass, but it was premeditated; it was necessary. After starting with windmills and going through the rest of the usual routines, this time including high knees and butt kicks, YHC revealed that we’d be finishing with 29’s. It’s like 21’s, but today is Cardinal’s last day to be 29, so the theme was set.

    29’s: PAX do 29 SSH in cadence, but only the first 7 are counted out loud. Then, the rest are completed in silence, but if all the PAX didn’t stop exactly on 29, there would be a 10 burpee penalty. With 5 PAX, YHC was sure there would be burpees, especially with Enron’s tendencies with numbers. But, in one of the cleanest, most dramatic endings YHC has ever seen, all PAX stopped dead at exactly the same time. It was beautiful. It was inspiring. And we felt really good about ourselves for the last time that morning.

    Bleacher crawl merkins:
    Moseyed over to the baseball bleachers where all PAX crawled up one bleacher at a time completing three merkins (irkins) on each. Then, turned around and did the same thing coming down (headfirst, so three derkins on each).

    “29 Ways”:
    Moseyed to the Thunderdome 2.0 (smaller covered pavilion, but reminiscent of the large one at The Peltch). Played the song “29 Ways” by Marc Cohn, a favorite of YHC’s growing up and perfect for the day’s theme: 6 inch hold for the duration, leg raises on every “29”, and Hello Dollies for every “door” and “more”. This definitely ranks in the top 5 hardest songs this crew has done.

    BLEEP Test:
    YHC hadn’t heard of this until digging through the Exicon last night, but it seems like it’s a generally well known fitness routine/performance test. Using a Bleep Test app that beeps at shorter and shorter intervals over time, the PAX lined up on the tennis court and ran to a line 20 meters away at every beep. Anyone who couldn’t make it to the line before the next beep was “out” and had to complete continuous rounds of 29 squats, 29 air presses, and 29 toe touches until there was only one PAX remaining.
    The first few beeps were easy enough and gave the PAX plenty of time for a quick breath between runs, but that didn’t last long. It became clear pretty quickly that speed wasn’t what was needed for victory–it was oxygen. So, after one round, YHC reset the timer and lined us up for a second–there’s only one way to get better at this!
    We discussed future plans for all PAX to PR, then test again a few weeks/months later to mark improvement. Ought to be fun!

    29 burnout:
    Moseyed back to the Thunderdome 2.0, and in cadence, completed the following on the picnic tables: 29 L Leg stepups, 29 Freak Nasties, 29 R Leg stepups, 29 Irkins, 29 alternating stepups, and 29 Derkins.

    Moseyed to the flag for some Mary: 29 LBC’s IC, 29 Penguins IC, and 29 Big Boy Situps OYO (because Cardinal will be a big boy tomorrow!).

    COT and prayer with gratitude for a cool new AO, and on our way out, a walking couple stopped us to ask who we were. The guy was a Marine and law enforcement vet, and he was fired up to see us out there. Turns out, he’s also a pastor at a local Baptist church, and the likelihood is high that he’ll be FNG-ing soon, hopefully with some of his congregation to follow!

    Thanks for following my lead, guys, and for grinding it out today!
    SYITG,
    Goose

  • FLAG day – from Paradox

    A mixture of humidity and patriotism hung heavy in the air as 4 pax accumulated on the big hill at Lumen Christi this am. Enron came early to battle his Welsh dragon PTSD and seemed ready to face the moccasin within. He was greeted by a back-to-back Goose/YHC combo coming in hot after a train full of sad clowns and CrossFit equipment tried to stymie our punctuality. Coupons were dispersed and the flag was planted. Elmers added his quiet strength after some SSHs and our group of 4 was ready.

    WarmOrama: Standard Goose warmup (ssh, IW, AC, WM, HK, BK) with emphasis that any new creations or “attempts” at creative genius will be met with severe disdain.
    RIP Moroccan self loves…we’ll see you again.

    After a mosey to the long pond YHC announced that June 14th is FLAG day and we would be honoring this symbol of our freedom with todays beatdown.

    THANG 1 – Brought to you by JBL, the AO leader in sound quality and consistency

    The legendary Lee Greenwood got us started with “God Bless the USA”. Our nations flag was officially approved on June 14, 1777 so we did 7 burpees, 7 LBCs, 7merkins in continuous cycle during this masterpiece.
    Next up we honored Betsy Ross who we learned did not actually create the first flag but has a place in our history for her service and dedication. Lenny Kravitz informed us several times that she was an “American Woman” but that for some reason he had to go. We completed a coupon chest hold during the entirety of the song with coupon chest presses on every “woman”.

    THANG 2
    Partnered up for some coupon/hill work
    One pax Nur to the top of the hill then complete 13 star jumps for the 13 colonies, while his counterpart completed coupon curls. FlapJack
    One pax coupon rifle carry to the top followed by 26 coupon calf raises to commemorate the 26 different versions of the American flag. His partner completed coupon chest presses until relieved. Flapjack
    One pax completed 10 coupon flips then swapped his partner who was working on either diamond merkins or freak nasties. Continue until the coupon has advanced to the other side of the hill.

    Just enough time for a finisher …YHC dialed up “The Battle Hymn of the Republic” and tried to stuff both his phone and his beloved wifi device in smedium shorts. We then began a march spelling FLAG with Forearms (coupon rifle carry x7) Legs (Coupon Lunges x7), Arms- (OHP x7), and Glutes(coupon squats x7). This is where JBL truly makes the difference. Some PAX may claim their wifi speaker is “obedient to its master”, but YHC and JBL work in tandem. JBL saw that we needed another song to fire up the PAX and through some magic of overstuffed pockets began to play “Grand Ole Flag” followed by a perfectly timed encore of “God Bless the USA”. With this extra musical push we made it to the hill for a few rounds of Mary. Penguins, Dolphin Hops, LBCs, and bicycled it out to Toby Keiths “Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue”. Solid effort fellas.

    Announcements: Looks like our run at LC as an AO has ended but we appreciate being allowed to use the facility. Looking for other options in the 311 hwy region if anyone knows a cool spot.
    The St. Vincent 500 fundraiser link is live. Keep on working on securing some station donations. Hit me up with questions, comments, concerns, observations.

    COT and Elmers prayed us out

    Appreciation to all our service men and women who give this flag its meaning.

    Thanks for the opportunity to lead,
    SYITG

    Paradox

  • “A Friggin’ Long Time” – from Goose

    The number 40 is clearly a big deal–it shows up in some of the most important events in Scripture, and it’s a turning point in the lives of most people. So, this day being that turning point for YHC, I decided to take a dive into some of those important events and make at least one of the PAX puke in the process.
    If you translate the number 40 from the original Hebrew, it technically means “a friggin’ long time,” as in, “It rained for a friggin’ long time,” or, “The Israelites were in the desert for a friggin’ long time.” Hence, the theme of the following routines (after a warmup of the usual, including suggestions of a more efficient combination of some of the favorite exercises, such as “Moroccan Self-Love,” the image of which continues to make YHC laugh out loud at inopportune times, like in church the next day):

    Noah’s Ark:
    YHC decided to honor a few of the animals who took that famous ride, and the PAX lined up in the outfield to do 40 steps forward and 40 steps backward of the following:
    bear crawls, crab walks, duck walks, and inchworm merkins.
    Backward duck walks burned, and backward inchworm merkins required more coordination than most of the PAX could muster, but they will definitely be used again in the future.

    Exodus:
    After being freed from Egypt, crossing the Red Sea on dry land, their enemies being completely destroyed, being fed miraculously every morning and evening, led by a pillar of fire by night and cloud by day, the Israelites struggled to have faith that God could lead them to inhabit the land He promised. After sending a group of spies to reconnoiter the land, they came back with a report, that despite the land being amazing, it would be impossible to take because of the large race of people living there. Because of their lack of faith and obstinance, they then had to take a roundabout route that took them 40 years to complete before faithful men finally led them to conquer and inhabit the land.
    Moseyed to the lower field, and after an explanation of the meaning and origins of the word “reconnoiter” and a challenge from Paradox to Enron to read a book every now and then, the PAX partnered up for the following:
    Partner 1–run to the outfield fence (from the outside) and do 20 squat jumps (squatting behind the city walls and leaping up to take a peek at what’s inside).
    Partner 2–chilly jacks until partner returns with news from all the reconnoitering.
    Once both partners have completed the squat jumps, it was an Indian Run to the Thunderdome, which was right behind us, but, of course, we had to take a roundabout route to the street and around the front entrance of the park first.

    Temptation of Jesus in the Desert:
    After eating nothing for 40 days and 40 nights (“a friggin’ long time”), Jesus was very hungry, and after this exercise, the PAX would be very winded. 10 burpees EMOM for 4 minutes = 40 quick burpees. YHC had originally considered more, but was grateful for only 40 after the previous exercises and in the thick humidity. Yankee Joe took this opportunity to “boot” for the first time that day (literal translation = “reconnoiter the inside of a toilet bowl”), which reminded him of his college days, and after which he jumped right back in with renewed vigor.

    40 Days between Easter and Ascension:
    During the time period after the Resurrection and before the Ascension, a few of the apostles went fishing, caught nothing, and after being directed by a mysterious person on shore (Jesus) to throw their nets on the other side of the boat, they hauled in 153 large fish. So, after moseying to the chimney, we used the letters in the word FISH, to complete 40 reps of the following:
    Frogs (Crunchy variety): OYO, 1 is 1
    Imperial Walkers: IC, 2:1
    Squats: OYO
    Hand-release Merkins: OYO (x33 to add up to 153)

    Barnabas:
    June 11 is also the feast day of the Apostle Barnabas. Though not one of the original 12, he was Paul’s main companion for most of his journeys, many of which ended in some rough treatment. So, the PAX partnered up again for three rounds of partner carries, 20 yards out, flapjack, and 20 yards back (40):
    1. Fireman’s Carry (over the shoulders)
    2. Wheelbarrow
    3. Partner Drag (wrap around from behind, heels dragging)
    Paradox claims to have a clear path to heaven now that he’s carried a priest (Cardinal) on his shoulders.

    40 Finisher:
    YHC took it right up to the limit with nine rounds of Tabata, 40 seconds work, 20 seconds rest:
    flutter kicks, squats, merkins, LBC’s, lunges (front to back), shoulder tap merkins, hello dollies, side lunges, and Maktars.
    Time got away from YHC, and we started the run back to the flag at 7:30. The PAX assumed the 40 theme was being taken to the extreme with a 7:40 finish, but despite YHC’s birthday priveleges, breaking protocol (on purpose) is prohibited.

    COT and Cardinal prayed us out.
    YHC was surprised by a gift from the PAX presented by Paradox: a gift-wrapped, monogrammed coupon! I’m not sure whether to mount it over the mantle or to use it exclusively at all following beatdowns, but I was deeply touched and continue to be grateful that these men are willing to stay the path of hard growth with me week after week. The brotherhood is deep and much appreciated, gents!
    P.S. Heck of a job, Yankee Joe! He may have “booted” multiple times, but in returning today after having been out for months, he pushed through and finished strong, and YHC is honored to now be a member of the 40-and-over club with him.

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • We saw the sign – from Percleator

    Warmuparama
    SSH, AV, AC FW/BW, CP, High knees butt kicks, IW, grass grabbers

    First thang: catch me if you can
    One lap around green at the chimney, partner performed 15 Freddie Mercurys while other partner bear crawled, catch up to partner and switch places. Second lap was lunge walk paired with 5 burpees

    Mosey to thunderdome for thang 2:
    YHC has noticed a lack of a certain genre of music for beatdowns. It’s hard to name this category but the closest thing might be “meme songs” or a “torture track”. Its the kind of song that is fun at first (in a slightly ironic sense) but will wear on you with time.
    Song 1: What’s up by Four Non Blondes
    Squats for the duration of the song. YHC called out tempo. Started out with slow 4 count squats (4 counts down 4 counts up) at different points in song YHC called out 2 and 2 count, 3 and 1, then into singles. YHC got excited and called out jump squats before the song hit its climax.
    Song 2: The sign by Ace of Base
    Start with crunchy frogs. When song changes to verse do mountain climbers, chorus do Australian sweat angels, for breakdown section back to crunchy frogs and repeat until end of song.
    YHC is of the belief that an hour of this song on repeat qualifies as cruel and unusual. No man could retain his sanity in that scenario.

    Last thang: BOMBS
    Team up 50 burpees
    75 Overhead claps from people’s chair
    100 Mercans
    150 Big Boys
    200 Squats
    The PAX pushed hard and almost finished but YHC called it and got back to flag a couple minutes late.

    Sadly no time for Mary.
    COT and Kilo sprayed us out

    Thank you for the opportunity to lead, always a pleasure with you guys
    SYITG

  • Speed Checked By Radar – from Goose

    When YHC was driving home last night, I noticed a large speed checking radar display set up in the neighborhood, and this morning’s beatdown materialized around it. It was only a matter of coming up with how to make it work with only one man sprinting and the rest not just standing and watching, like on The Office: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4OYKsYJY3cw.
    Here’s how it went down:

    Warmup: the usual suspects, but added Peter Parker Peters to warm up the groin, hip flexors, abs, etc. to prep for multiple sprints at max speed.

    Moseyed about a quarter mile in a brand new direction. Enron and Paradox knew better than to ask questions, but all became clear once the radar picked us up from afar and started flashing single digit numbers. Office quotes flowed forth (“31! You saw it! It said 31!”), and shoes were tied a little tighter.
    As one man sprinted past the sign (75 yards or so) and ran backwards back to start, the other two did AMRAP (as many reps as possible) of one of the following exercises: Carolina Dry Docks, toe touches, shoulder/toe taps, windmills, side squats, Freddy Mercurys, Moroccan Night Clubs, air presses, and big boy situps. Each man sprinted three times.
    The highest clocked speed was 18mph, though all three were close. The radar gave the PAX a reason to push to the max, multiple times, which was an awesome experience. The long mosey back to the flag was a much appreciated chance to breathe, especially since sufficient oxygen would be hard to come by for the remainder of the beatdown.

    Arrived back at the flag, and YHC asked for two 10-counts so as to prep for what YHC knew would be a wind-sucker: Burpee Jackass Webbs on the bandstand followed by 11’s on the field.
    Burpee Jackass Webbs consists of a building ratio of 1 burpee to 2 donkey kicks up against the columns. Starting at 1 burpee and 2 donkey kicks, we stopped the brutality at 5 and 10. There are a small number of routines where burpees are the break, and this is very much one of them.
    11’s: Merkins on one end of the field, step-ups on the other (2 is 1), running in between. After sprints and donkey burps, this one was rough. YHC was glad to see the manly combination of competitiveness and camaraderie keeping all three of us at about the same grueling pace.
    Finished with about four minutes left for Mary: 20 flutter kicks, 15 wife pleasers, 15 Aus. sweat angels, 20 Scuba Steves.

    It was a tough one, but it provided for a memorable experience of deep accompaniment in the midst of pushing limits. It was an honor to do this one with these HIMs, though the rest of you guys were missed! Hope to see more of you in the gloom this week!

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • I Will Survive – from Paradox

    9 PAX met up at the airport of Peltier park to depart on an Alaskan moose hunt. Things started off safe enough with some casual warmup by the ball field: SSH, IW, WM, AC, cherry pickers, grass grabbers, high knees, butt kicks.
    We boarded our small engine plane and headed for the monkey bars. After a short layover to pick up Tighty Whitey (the red truck signals we are exactly 5 minutes into a beatdown) we settled in a for a nap with dreams of moose steaks dancing in our heads. That’s when all hell broke loose…

    THANG 1 STAMINA
    Your pilot had a massive MI and you have crash landed in a ravine in the middle of northern Canada. You find your friend hanging on a limb over the ravine and you must run back to the plane for supplies.
    Round1 : Partner 1 dead hang on monkey bars, Partner 2 sprint to thunder dome, 5 merkins, sprint back Flapjack
    (*Considering these dead hangs step 1/600 on our murph training journey)
    Once out of the ravine you come face to face with a pacific northwest rattlesnake and must wait while your partner runs through the jungle to get a machete.
    Round2: Partner 1 hold plank, Partner 2 10 jump squats traverse monkey bars, 10 jump squats
    Flapjack
    Your adrenaline is now torched so you stop by a stream for a sip of water andddd…..immediate dysentery. Your partner must go in search for the largest and softest leaf he can find. (shout out to Oregon Trail)
    Round 3: Partner 1 hold Al Gore, Partner 2 run to thunder dome for 10 freak nasties run back.
    Flapjack

    THANG 2 SPEED
    After recovering from dysentery you bump into a hive of Killer Bs (Canadian bees are different, its science)
    Canadian Killer B’s equal 5 Burpees, 5 BBSU, 5 Bonnie Blairs (2 is 1)
    During the duration of the song “I will survive” Gloria Gaynor

    All of this Killer bee commotion caught the attention of a grizzly bear and now the chase is on.
    Cones in Triangle formation at the Chimney
    Sprint to chimney, Nur to next cone. Bear Crawl back while Partner does R1 hillbilles, R2 MNC, R3 LBCs
    Several PAX wanted it known for the record that they would just take their chances with the bear instead of sprinting.

    Thang 3 STRENGTH
    You have successfully evaded the bear but your partner twisted his ankle and you need to get to the chopper evac zone.
    10 cones 10 yards apart
    Partner drag to cone. 5 power merkins, swap partner drag

    Care package Drop
    Another few miles and we’ll be home free.
    Indian Run, Last man drops off for 5 BBSU (care package) then catch up to front

    CHOPPER EVAC FINISHER
    While waiting on the chopper you and your partner decided to try out ice fishing and your partner fell in the lake. You have 5 minutes till the chopper arrives but you have to keep his heart rate up….

    Destinys Child- Survivor- SSH with Burpees on the word survivor. Finished very strong with the last 30 seconds of holding plank and merkins on the word survivor.

    Took the rescue chopper back to the Flag for some Mary: dolphin hops, BBSU, LBCS, penguins, Aus sweat angels, scuba steve. ALL IC X15-20

    Announcements: Continued preparations for our fundraiser the St. Vincent 500.
    Mudgear pre order coming soon.

    COT and Wet Tap prayed us out.

    I loved every minute of creating this one fellas. The effort for the JBL sponsored Survivor finisher was phenomenal. Congratulations! You all passed the Paradox survival camp and made it home to your families.

    Thanks for the opportunity to create and lead
    Till the next gloom
    Paradox