F3 New Orleans

Tag: Enron

  • 35s and 5/19s – Birthday Beatdown – from Enron

    YHC rolled up to the stage only to be greeted with 35th Birthday wishes from Percleator, Cardinal, and Paradox. I instructed them that we would need to unload not only bricks, but hoping that Goose would arrive soon, coupons as well. As Goose arrived, dangerously close to 5:30, the work began. YHC instructed the PAX that todays beatdown would be inspired by his newly acquired age, 35, or birthdate 05/19/87.

    PAX: Enron, Cardinal, Goose, Paradox, Perclator

    Warmup: the usual plus a couple with a mosey to the bumper then to the stop sign afterwards – SSH, WM, AC, Cherry Pickers, Grass Grabbers, IW

    Thang 1 and only 1: Grab bag 35s or 5/19/87s
    YHC picked up the “birthday” gift bag after quickly informing the PAX that he took some ridicule from his wife for using a Christmas decorated bag in the Birthday Beatdown. Appealing to Cardinals love of chance games, the following exercises were placed on strips of paper and placed in the bag. PAX took turns pulling the “gifts”, reading aloud, and then the group performing that gift. Most of the exercises were done on your own rep timing. This took the entire rest of the beatdown.
    35 Merkins
    5 Burpees 19 Squats 87 Night Clubs
    35 Yard Bear Crawl
    35 Yard Sprint
    35 Yard Crab Walk
    35 Yard Mosey
    35 Second Break
    35 Second Break
    35 Brick Shoulder Tap
    35 Dying Brick Roaches
    35 Coupon Curls
    35 Bonnie Blairs
    35 Squat Jumps
    5 Squat Jumps & 19 Coupon Curls 87 Self Love
    35 SSH
    35 Brick Butterflies
    35 Floyd Mayweathers with Bricks
    35 Big Boy Situps
    5 Blockies 19 Freak Nastys
    35 Coupon Presses
    35 Imperial Walkers
    35 Grass Grabbers
    5 Merkins 19 Freddie Mercuries 2=1
    35 Burpees
    35 Yard Coupon Carry
    35 Brick Moroccan Night Clubs
    5 Box Jumps 19 Incline Merkins
    5 Step Ups 2=1 19 Box Jumps
    35 Skull Crushers
    35 Curls
    35 Butt Kicks
    35 High Knees
    35 Wind Mills
    5 – 8 Ct Body Builders 19 Big Boy Situps
    35 Monkey Humpers
    35 Yard Mosey
    5 Squat Jumps – 19 Overhead Presses
    35 Wife Pleasers
    35 second Plank
    35 Second Al Gore
    35 Apolo Ohno’s 1=1
    35 Penguins 2=1
    35 LBCs
    35 Leg Raises
    35 Flutter Kicks =1
    Dealers Choice
    Dealers Choice
    Dealers Choice
    Dealers Choice

    COT and Goose prayed us out. It was a great experience getting to celebrate with these guys today. Thanks for the birthday wishes.

    Till next time in the Gloom,

    Enron

  • Intense Morning at The Stage – from Goose

    YHC lost power early this morning, and as I rolled up to The Stage, it became immediately clear why –an electrical pole was down across the highway, and it had caught the fence in front of the neighborhood on fire. Enron and Kilo had to fight hard to find a way around all the road blockages and emergency vehicles and arrived in time to see the firemen hosing it all down. This set the tone for what would be a bit of an intense coupon beatdown. It just didn’t feel like the time for songs or games or anything, so after a warmup of the usual (with eyes fixed on the highway project), we set about to initiate Kilo into a new level of coupon pain.

    It started with a coupon mosey to the start of Rich Man’s Loop and the usual question from the initiate, “Is there an un-awkward way to run with this thing?” Nope. There’s not. And, if there is, YHC has not yet reached that level of F3 prowess.

    The plan was to rifle carry the block for 1 light pole (about 50 yards), then drop the block and nur back 1 pole, then sprint back to the block and plank for the six; and we’d do this five times. But, we ended up rifle carrying for the first three light poles since traffic was having to turn around in the neighborhood, and many drivers, already confused by the strange occurrence on the highway, were having to also encounter three tall men carrying cinder blocks over their heads in the dark. So, once we were past the traffic, we commenced the nurring, sprinting, etc., and slowly made progress via rifle carry to the end of the back straightaway, after which we moseyed with coupons in various holds back to the flag.

    Next, we lined up with coupons at the edge of the field for 5 rounds of the following: 5 squat thrusters, 10 curls, 15 rows. After 5 rounds, bear crawled to the other side of the field and ran back. This was admittedly harder than it looked on paper, but it filled enough of the remaining time so that we needed to move onto some block inclusive Mary so YHC could expose the PAX to yet more Exicon depth (always a goal).
    This included (all 4-count, IC): 20 block high flutter kicks, 20 block LBC’s, 15 bench press/skull crusher combos, 15 American Hammers w/block, and 20 wife pleasers w/block. That last one brought about some gratitude that the flow of traffic had resumed, otherwise what was recently a line of cars might be wondering why three men were lying on the concrete humping cinder blocks. In honor of this good fortune, we finished out the last minute or so with 15 monkey humpers.

    COT and Enron prayed us out. Kilo and Enron compared shoulder scrapes on the way back to the vehicles, grateful for the souvenirs and the pumped upper bodies.
    Much to put into God’s hands this morning, and gratitude for these HIMs fighting to get out there and push hard. Thanks for letting me lead!

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • The Dawn of Darth Kilo – from Kilo

    As YHC was prepping for his VQ the night before, an all-out manhunt was conducted in search of Lifejacket. The search spanned far and wide from the deserts of Tatooine, to the seas of Kimino, and finishing in the dreaded lava rivers of Mustafar. The treacherous search bore no fruit. YHC concluded the search with the solemn realization that Lifejacket had vanished like a cowardly sidekick when it came time for its dual against the legendary duo, Anker and JBL. YHC made his concessions and altered his plans as necessary.

    YHC pulled up at The Peltch to 6 eager, yet cautious, PAX. They had no idea what was required to properly prepare in advance for Star Wars Day, May the Fourth, but YHC had arrived to show them the way with both a red and a blue lightsaber in hand.

    Warmup: X-Wings (SSH), Darth Mauls (WM), General Grievous (AC), IW, Anakin’s Mom (Self-Love)

    Thang 1:
    Imperial March (High Knee Mosey) to the Thunderdome. Right from the start, this proved to be much more difficult than YHC expected. Worried for what was to come, Paradox made a suggestion to Mos Eisley (Normal Mosey) when it came time to depart the Thunderdome. The merciful YHC took note, but would remember the Imperial March for later use.

    Star Wars Trivia: 15 questions, each with their own exercise. A correct answer decreased that exercise by half.
    • 40 X-Wings
    • 30 Mountain Climbers (2 is 1)
    • 20 Merkins
    • 30 Freak Nastys
    • 30 Jar Jars (flutter kicks)
    • 20 Burpees
    • 30 – second mid plank
    • 40 squats
    • 20 BBS
    • 20 leg raises
    • 60 – second wall sit
    • 30 X-Wings
    • 20 Merkins
    • 30 Freak nastys
    • 30 LBCs
    YHC was generally pleased with the level of Star Wars knowledge held by the PAX, but was thoroughly impressed by Cardinal’s ability to summon the knowledge and wisdom of the Jedi Order when threatened with Burpees.

    Thang 2:
    Mos Eisley (Mosey) to the chimney.

    AT-AT Race (Bear Crawl Race): PAX AT-AT raced back and fourth multiple times between lightsaber markings (about 30 yards apart). This yielded much suffering from the Padawan PAX. Two 10-Counts were necessary to deter mass asphyxiation.

    Thang 3:
    Light Side / Dark Side: (Basically like “Never have I Ever” but begins with “Sith Lords have…”). 10 questions. Sith Lords do full exercise, Jedi do half.
    • Sprint to Chimney
    • 40 X-Wings
    • 20 Burpees
    • 20 BBS
    • 20 Jar Jars
    • 20 Burpees
    • 40 Squats
    • 20 Mountain climbers (2 is 1)
    • 20 BBS
    • 30 – Second MI Plank
    YHC was pleasantly surprised to see that the majority of PAX were on very similar moral ground.

    Mos Eisley through Thunderdome and back to the Flag for a solid 5 minutes of MARY.

    COT and Cardinal prayed us out.

    Thank you for bearing with me on my VQ. I hope it was as enjoyable for all of you as it was for me. Darth Kilo has shown his face…and Darth Kilo will return.

    See You in the Gloom,
    Kilo

  • Run, Float, Sink, Climb – from Paradox

    YHC has a love/hate relationship with sprints. I’ll blame it on deep seated psychological trauma from high school football conditioning. YHC’s ancestors likely invented the spear to avoid sprinting from the sabertooth. Like “oh well , lets takes our chances with this stick cus running fast sucks”. Recently YHC has felt the need to address these ancestral deficiencies with tailormade beatdowns.
    When beginning my Q journey a few months back, Goose handed down some deep wisdom nuggets about beatdown architecture: Always return to the classics. Shakespeare and Thoureau you say?? No sir, “try Steve and Akbar, those guys write a solid backblast”. I dove into the Northshore archives and after surveying several gems I selected a recent sprint work piece (run, float run) created by Northshore legend Akbar. Some of his initial work like the “the Merkin Trap” changed the way I Q so I knew I was in good hands.
    Arrived to the Stage with a lonely black SUV and a single PAX in heavy stretch mode. Could it be?! ENRON! Returning from IR to get back into the mix. Great to have ya back brother. The newly minted Roughneck rolled in shortly after followed by Kilo and we got started

    WarmOrama: SSH, IW, WM, AC, Cherry Pickers, high knees, butt kicks. Bumper/Stop Sign Mosey

    JBL official warm-up
    *I must pause here and recognize that JBL remains the alpha Bluetooth speaker in this pack. There may be contenders and challengers (lifejacket and Anker) that come and go but when the chips are down, and you need soul jarring thunderous rock there is only one Bluetooth speaker king.

    Song: “Aint no mountain high enough”- High knees on whole song. Trigger words were the following: high enough=jump squat, low enough=2 deep squats, wide enough =3 merkins

    THANG 1
    Mosey to Rich Mans loop for sprint work.

    Mosey, Sprint, Float, Sink (thanks Akbar)
    Each light pole had a different gear. Started with standard mosey, then increased to sprint followed by down shift into float (which I’m learning is kinda a feel thing) followed by planking for the 6 and repeato. The key to the float is a “fast relax” with very little straining. Realizing as I type this sounds like my medical advice on not producing hemorrhoids. Our best effort was attempted. Completed 7 rounds.

    THANG 2
    Introduced the PAX to yet another cousin of Jack Webb. Today we meet his seldom seen uncle Mountain Jack Webb. Starting at the straight away with 2 Squat Chinooks then 4 mountain climbers (1 is 1) followed by lunge walks to the next cement line (roughly ten yards) and repeato. Increased increments by 2/4 reps respectively. Thanks to some quick Enron excel spreadsheet math we topped out at 28 squat chinooks and 40 MCs with a 60 MC burnout.
    Headed back to the virtual flag (we miss ya goose!) in Indian run style.
    Enough time for 20 Freak nasties and 10 Box Jumps and some mixed Mary
    15 LBCs, 15 Penguins, 15 Wife pleasers, 20 Dolphin Hops
    Count off, NameORama and Prayer intentions.
    Come out to the peltch Saturday for Kilos VQ! (Star Wars theme has been promised)

    Apologies to Enron for 45 minutes of sprints and mountain climbers on a bum knee. If it holds up after today, you can toss that Brett Favre copper sleeve in the can. Great to have you back, your premium grade mumble chatter has been missed.

    T Claps for Roughneck coming back for more after Monday. Keep pushing brother.

    Solid Effort fellas, thanks for letting me lead

    Until the next gloom

    Paradox

  • Holy Thursday–Plenty of Material to Work With – from Goose

    4 PAX gathered in the gloom of an ominous Holy Thursday morning. Lightning flashed and rain threatened throughout, but off in the distance, there were breaks in the clouds that promised a hopeful future. But, until then, there was much to endure:
    Warmup: SSH, AC, Cherry Pickers, Chinooks (gonna be using those shoulders today), IW, SL

    Thang 1: Passover Prep and Darkness Prowling
    Partner 1 prepped for Passover while Partner 2 prowled in the darkness for three rounds.

    -Round 1: Partner 1–Colt 45’s with coupon (15 curls from waist to chest, 15 curls from thighs to waist, and 15 curls from thighs to chest); Partner 2–Block and bear across the field and back (bear crawl while dragging block forward from between legs/arms).

    -Round 2: Partner 1–Bolt 45’s (15 squats with coupon from upright to halfway down, 15 from halfway down to all the way down, and 15 from all the way down to all the way up); Parter 2–Murder Bunnies w/coupon across the field and back.

    -Round 3: Partner 1–Kettle bell swings until partner 2 returns; Partner 2–rifle carry (overhead) across the field, 10 squat thrusters, and rifle carry back.

    Thang 2: 4 Corners = 4 stages of Holy Thursday night–2 rounds of each

    Washing of the Feet–“If I do not wash you, you have no part in me.” (Jn 13:8)
    15 Absolutions (8-count ab killer; look it up). Round 1 was called in cadence; round 2 was not, because YHC needed to breathe.

    Last Supper–“And he took a chalice, and when he had given thanks he gave it to them, and they all drank of it.” (Mk 14: 23).
    15 Goblet squats (squats with coupon held vertically under the chin).

    Judas’s Betrayal–” ‘It is he to whom I shall give this morsel when I have dipped it.’….So, after receiving the morsel, he immediately went out; and it was night.” (Jn 13: 26, 30)
    15 Dips, 15 right leg step-ups, 15 dips, 15 left leg step-ups

    Agony in the Garden of Gethsemane–“Father, if you are willing, remove this chalice from me; nevertheless not my will, but yours, be done.”
    Mission Impossible plank (hold one inch off the ground)–PAX counted around in a circle up to 50.

    After Round 1 of this, it was about 6:15, which is our 45 minute stop time, but for some reason, YHC had 6:30 locked in, so after Round 2 began, Enron and Paradox began to mumble on their bench: “Is he going over time? Is there some deeper meaning to this? Did we do something wrong? Did he secretly tell our wives we’d be later than usual?” Then, as we moved into round 2 of the Agony planks, YHC made a joke about “keeping watch for one hour”, which sealed the deal in the PAX’s mind that it we were purposefully going the whole hour, though YHC meant it only as a joke that we’d be planking for an hour if we really loved Jesus. And, just like Peter at the last supper, they were afraid to ask the Q directly, and hoped Kilo, who shared a bench with YHC, would ask. But, Kilo was blissfully without a watch and had no idea he would be late for work today.
    So, we ended with a long sprint, a long carioca, and a long nur, to connect us to the apostles who all fled. And, we completed 6 minutes of Mary.
    Just FYI, going over time, especially 15 minutes over, when the agreed time is 45 minutes is disrespectful to the PAX, and YHC would never purposefully surprise the men with such a move. My deepest apologies! And, thanks for your patience this morning, gents!
    SYITG,
    Goose

  • Am I My Brother’s Keeper? – from Goose

    YHC had an interesting idea that could either be a memorable challenge, chock full of valuable life lessons, or it would be a total cluster, and nothing in between. So, with a record 6 PAX gathered at The Stage in the gloom of a gorgeous morning, we commenced.

    Warmup: SSH, Windmills, Grass Grabbers (deviations from the norm, duly recognized, are always for a reason), Arm Circles, Cherry Pickers, Imperial Walkers, Self-Love

    When YHC requested the assistance of JBL, Paradox informed us that JBL was fartsacking (or “charging”); and this after multiple prompts over the past few weeks to take advantage of JBL: “He’s here for you. He’s always ready to provide deep, booming base, and consistent bluetooth connection. Take advantage of his presence and his audio prowess.” But, alas, the first test of “Am I my brother’s keeper?’ resulted in grave failure. So, the morning’s soundtrack was barely audible on the phone speaker and out of YHC’s control, so there’s no telling what the guys closest to it were subjected to.

    Thang: Total Dependency

    PAX lined up and were instructed to observe the exercise of the man to their right and repeat it. Each man was then responsible for completing and displaying that exercise and communicating the number of reps to the man to their left. YHC was first in line and basically took the PAX through an ascending ladder of exercises (listed below), so there was constant movement and constant need to communicate down the line what exercises came next. Each man could only speak to the man next to him, so one-on-one communication was key.

    At first, there was some confusion as to what each PAX was responsible for communicating. Enron almost let Paradox do 25 burpees instead of 25 mountain climbers because he assumed it was a sort of “telephone” type game where misunderstandings were not corrected, but passed on. (That may have been YHC’s fault for explaining the exercise as “sort of like ‘telephone’”.) But, as the beatdown continued, and reminders to “Take care of your brother!” were repeated, the PAX caught on.

    Exercises were done as an ascending ladder (starting with the first, then the first and second, then the first and second and third, etc.):
    5 Burpees
    10 Merkins
    15 Lunges (2:1)
    20 LBC’s
    25 Mountain Climbers
    30 Second plank (4-count to 30)
    35 American Hammers
    40 Side Straddle Hops
    45 Big Boy Situps
    50 Squats (ran out of time for these)

    After count-off and name-off, YHC explained the lessons learned:

    1. Pain and/or pride typically cause us to focus heavily on ourselves and forget about the men around us. But, here, if we were overly focused on our own rep count or just trying to finish, the man next to us would be completely lost. It required much focus on where he was in the series and when he needed what information to continue. This is immediately applicable to life as a married man and as a father. When we’re overly focused on ourselves, either out of self-pity or pride, the people who depend upon us are left in the dark.

    2. Faith is never truly internalized from an expert to a group. It can be understood intellectually, but for a man to take ownership, he must be accompanied intimately by another who’s in the same boat, who’s been down the same road, and who can give both direction and confidence that it’s doable, it’s real, and it’s worth the struggle. Without this one-on-one accompaniment, faith struggles to escape the world of ideas, and we struggle to escape our own doubts and questions.

    COT, excellent prayer, announcements about the clown car trip to the Northshore beatdown on April 23 (Zoorich Classic) and Percleator having to go back to being a weekend warrior (Nooo!).
    It’s such a privilege to be out there with you, fellas!
    SYITG,
    Goose

  • The Louisiana PureChest: Life, Liberty, and the Trivial Pursuit of Alligator Merkins – from Paradox

    The mindset: After a few months of baptism by fire beatdowns at the Stage YHCs first Peltier Park Q was set with great anticipation. Was the confidence there? Was my cadence on point? Enough props? What if it rains? Will Cardinal ask fine print questions? Will Goose undoubtedly question my form? The questions swirled as I pulled up to the peltch on a lovely spring morning. The JBL was charged. The props were set. Now just add PAX and its gumbeaux time.

    The mission: Take the PAX on a geographical, historical and cultural journey through the time and space of Louisiana history while giving multiple muscle systems two options: Fight or Run.
    The Pax: An impressive display of Gentleman with scattered 2.0s to make up 13.
    The warmup: 18 for all IC- (LA joined the US as the 18th state) SSH, IW, WM, Cherry Pickers, Self Love, High Knees, Butt Kicks
    Disclaimer was given for those recently minted PAX and reminders of modifications and safety were given for all. Lets get to it.

    THANG 1
    Mosey to the Thunder dome for a Cajun classic warm up. Louisiana Saturday Night- Tin Soldiers the entire song, Bonnie Blairs (boths sides) on “Louisiana Saturday Night”. We got down the fiddle, we got down the bow but most of all we danced in the kitchen.

    Next YHC explained that the LA Purchase doubled the size of the US. I could not gift the men land but I did promise a certified Louisiana PureChest after todays beatdown merkin variety (I worked on this dad Joke for months and the laughter was minimal, PAX were lazer focused). We assumed ring of Fire formation and completed 100 incline merkins, 75 Decline merkins, and 50 diamon merkins.

    Capped this off with Calling Baton Rouge just to make sure everyone had the juices flowing. High knees during whole song, Burpee on “Baton Rouge”, “Operator”, and “Louisiana”.

    THANG 2
    Mosey to the Football field for the Main event: Paradox Trivia. 4 cones set up 25 yards apart in a square. Each corner would be a trivia question. If correct we complete the associated exercise (see below). If incorrect we complete the exercise plus the punishment by traveling to the middle gumbo pot. When we arrive at the gumbo pot the PAX make a group decision to take 5 burpees or pick from the pot. (soon to learn the pot had some extra bay leaves). Mode of travel between all corners is 10 alligator merkins followed by bear crawls. Disclaimers: YHC used a childrens LA history website and Wikipedia for all sources and discrepancies were dismissed immediately.

    1. Who is LA named after? King Louis 14- Wide Merkins- Correct!
    2. How long is the causeway bridge? 24 miles. No mercy for 23.6 miles so the PAX had the first incorrect. (YHC wanted to test the gumbo pot). 50 SSH were selected and performed.
    3. How many parishes in LA? Local Theologian Goose came in strong with 64 and saved the PAX. 64 shoulder presses in squat position.
    4. Edwin Edwards # of terms and prison years? 4 terms, 8 prison years. Incorrect so we did 8 prisoner squats and alligatored to the pot for a selection. 10 diamond merkins
    5. How much $ for LA purchase? Pope came in with early correct answer (15 million) BUT was questioned by the PAX. Learned a lesson about listening to the quiet confidence in a group. PAX selected 17 million and paid with a trip to the gumbo pot for 15 carolina dry docks.
    6. NO is how far below sea level? 8 feet: 8 Jump squats. Pax guessed 12 and took another gumbo trip. This time fear of the spice was growing, and PAX accepted the 5 burpee offer.
    7. Highest point in LA? Mount Driskell- 535 ft. PAX got this correct and unlocked a special Paradox challenge. JBL whipped up a tune and the pax were instructed to start mountain climbers. If they can guess the song, artist, AND movie the song was played in they would reduce the pain to 1 minute. In a moment of pure astonishment our beloved parish priest came through with “miley Cyrus, The Climb andddd The Hannah Montana Movie” only 10 seconds into the work. Cardinal is truly gifted at reducing the pain for the PAX at all costs, even embarrassment.
    8. Name the distinguishing characteristics of alligator vs crocodile? Answered correctly and we advanced for the last set of alligator merkins.
    9. This LA animal recently transitioned from Endangered to Threatened list: La black bear. This pax again got this one down and earned bear crawls to the next cone.
    10. Official state song of LA: you are my sunshine. Enron shamed 318 by labeling Jefferson Davis as the artist of the song but quickly corrected to Jimmy Davis. (all is forgiven). YHC showed off some rather shakey sunshines (seated position with hands behind head and touching elbow to the ground) and an even shakier cadence. Promise I will shelf that one for a while
    11. Official boat of LA: Correct- Pirogue- 25 Scuba steves
    12. LA state dog: Correct- Catahoula leopard dog: 13 carolina dry docks
    13. La state fruit: Correct – Strawberry- alternate 25 superman and banana boats

    Circled up for the FINISHER***
    The Cajun Classic “Jumbalaya” with burpees on Bayoooo, calf raises on the rest.

    Mosey back to the flag for COT and Cardinal prayed us out.

    Moleskin: This one produced some great mumble chatter as the PAX worked on communication to get a “final answer”. Learning that correct answers can often come with early confidence from some of the younger or less experienced voices.

    An absolute joy to bring this one together and share it with the PAX.
    The opportunity to lead you men is a blessing.

    SYITG

  • Burpeepalooza 2022! – from Goose

    Everything had come together. It was time. Late night event meant YHC didn’t have much time to plan for the next morning’s beatdown, and the newer guys were dropping like flies with excuses as to why they weren’t gonna make it. So, knowing that there would just be three to four warriors in the gloom ready for a challenge, the time had come for YHC to pull out the Burpeepalooza.
    In January, 2021, YHC participated in the Make America Burpeee Again challenge (100 burpees a day for the month), and came across an all-song, all burpee beatdown from the guys in St. Louis. After some tweaks (improvements), it’s now a fun/painful way to trick the PAX into completing over 200 burpees in 45 minutes without complaining (too much). It’s amazing what the body can do when the mind is distracted!

    After a quick, but thorough warmup of the usuals–SSH, WM, IW, AC, SL, high knees, and butt kicks, the playlist began.
    Here’s a link to it on Spotify with the following instructions: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1lix6fRtQYiLIfOwT0QuXg?si=lB1LqA5UQVmu9hDlhwIE7w

    “Flower” by Moby–burpees on every “Down”
    “Tubthumping” by Chumbawumba–every “I get knocked down…”
    “Black Betty” by Ram Jam–every “Black Betty”
    “Peaches” by The Presidents of the USA–“Peaches”
    “Roxanne” by The Police–“Roxanne”
    “Get Back Up” by Toby Mac–“Get back up again”
    “This is Who I Am” by Third Day–“This is who I am”
    “Thunderstruck” by AC/DC–“Thunder” (includes “Thunderstruck”)
    “I Got You Babe” by Sonny and Cher–“Babe”
    “Up Down” by Morgan Wallen–“Up Down” (keep count–they come quick!)
    “Ring of Fire” by Johnny Cash–“Ring”
    “Red Solo Cup” by Toby Keith–“Cup” and “Up” (didn’t get to this one–warmup lasted too long, I guess; probably would substitute “Black Betty” with it if I did it again)

    The variety and the need to pay attention to the lyrics took the PAX’s mind off much of the pain and repetitiveness of the burpees–that and the reminders to keep good form to avoid straining knees, back or wrists.
    It was a joy to share this experience with these awesome guys, and I’m grateful the stars aligned to make it the perfect morning for it! Thanks, for letting me lead, fellas!

    See You in the Gloom,
    Goose

  • Providence and Classics for the New Guys – from Goose

    YHC was excited about the potential for record breaking numbers at the Houma location, Lumen Christi, including a unique FNG: priest #2 for the Bayou PAX! (Fr. J.D. Matherne, pastor of St. Hilary in Raceland will heretofore be known as Cutthroat!). However, at 5:45am, with what sounded like a Category 3 outside the house, YHC was scheming hard about how to boost morale in the howling wind, the pounding deluge of rain, and lightning popping all around. I knew that with this relatively new crew, we couldn’t break one of the major principles of F3 this early in the game, so gear was donned and prayers were said as YHC prepped to walk out into this mother of a storm.
    Thankfully, things changed quickly, and not only did the rain let up, but the sky cleared and revealed a gorgeous sky (and eventually a full rainbow!). Even the ground was relatively dry (besides some slick patches of clover, which left some PAX eating turf when bear crawling down the hill). Morale was extremely high with little to no effort as the PAX continued pouring in for this young location. Ultimately, there were 8, a record, and the warmup commenced:

    Warmup: all IC–20 Side Straddle Hops, 20 WindMills, 15 Arm Circles (each way), 15 Moroccan Night Clubs (shimmy included), 20 Self-Love, 20 Imperial Walkers, 10 High Knees, 10 Butt Kicks

    Thang 1: Dora 1, 2, 3
    YHC wanted to make sure these guys get some solid experience of the classics, so we started with a standard partner Dora wherein partners split 100 Hand Release Merkins, 200 Apolo Ohno’s, and 300 American Hammers. For the first 100, partner 2 ran backward up the hill (Nur) and forward back down. For the second, it was run up and bear crawl down (clover is slick!); and for the third, crab walk up and run down.
    At first, YHC inadvertently looked pretty smart to Enron and a few others knowing Ohno’s middle name, but then Cutthroat ruined it by revealing that for a decade, everyone only ever heard all three names (Apolo Anton Ohno). But, YHC turned the tables in the next Thang (Cutthroat, you don’t know NOTHIN’!!)

    Thang 2: Double Song Power!
    Moseyed to the hill with the cross and pulled out “Flower” by Moby–hold Al Gore for every “Sally down,” and only come up for every “Sally up”. It’s a thigh burner, and a favorite of YHC, especially for new guys–an added element is that if they can guess the lyrics, we stop. They never do. FNG hopes are dashed on the rocks of ignorance, and it’s nobody’s fault but their own.

    Song 2: Chumbaburpee! Another favorite since it’s one of the rare times that burpees are a yearned for break from something unexpectedly worse. Side straddle hops for the duration of the song, and burpees for every “I get knocked down, but I get up again.” Side straddle hops for that long are pretty torturous at the end of a long workout, so flopping down to the ground almost feels good. Except at the end (20 burpees in a row).

    Classic Indian Run back to the flag for some Mary: in an effort to continue to grow the PAX’s knowledge of the Exicon, everything with a ridiculous name gets priority. All IC x15: Crunchy Frogs, LBC’s, Wife Pleasers, J-Lo’s.

    COT and Elmer’s prayed us out. Welcome, Cutthroat, and thanks be to God for a gorgeous morning and a great group of men!

    See You in the Gloom,
    Goose

  • Cornhole Gras – from Cardinal

    A beatdown on the Saturday of Mardi Gras weekend couldn’t leave the PAX unprepared for the festivities that awaited them. So out of charity for the brothers, YHC couldn’t let them down for his first Q.

    The indisputable best way to pass the time as you’re tailgating waiting for the next parade is a rousing game of cornhole, so the PAX assembled at the Peltch for a cornhole beatdown like no other to ensure that they’d be pros by the time we finished.

    First, the basic warmups of the usuals: SSH, IW, AC and CP, WM, and SL.

    After that, we moseyed on over to the chimney for a more focused set of strength-training exercises. Even the most basic cornhole player knows that it’s all about the stance, the slight squat, the balancing arm (with or without a beverage in the other hand) (but definitely with). So we did some one-legged squats, nice and slow in cadence, 10 per leg, to get the balance of the throwing arm. To strengthen your core stability to ensure a clean throw, 20 big boy sit-ups followed. And to make sure you wouldn’t land a bag 3 feet in front of the board, a nice long stretch of air presses (35 in cadence).

    But because we didn’t want to just be average cornhole players, but legendary, we went into round 2: A set of 15 genuflections in cadence to really get the legs pumping, 20 American hammers in cadence to solidify the core, and 30 Moroccan night clubs to get that power throw down.

    To close out the preparatory exercises, and to get our minds in the right place, we listened to the hit single by Rhett and Link called none other than “Cornhole Song.” Truly an experience to listen to as a pump up before an intense game. The PAX held Al Gore position and dropped for a burpee every time “cornhole” was said. Sufficiently prepared, and thinking of themselves as “Don Cornholio,” we moseyed to our final destination – a set of cement cornhole boards that the PAX had never known was actually there the whole time.

    Now, YHC had high expectations after such expert training. Each PAX got 5 throws (1 warm up and 4 throws) to try to score 7 points. If they succeeded, they were gifted with a slightly easier reward. And if they didn’t, the whole group paid for it.

    Round 1: 6 or below: bear crawl around a nearby square court, with 5 diamond ‘mericans at each corner. 7 or above: run around with 5 regular mericans.
    Round 2: success got them a Carioca around the field with 10 smurf jacks at each corner, while failure got them an attempted murder bunny around the field, with 7 jump squats at each corner
    Round 3: if they were good, nur around the field with 10 LBC’s at the corners, and if they weren’t, crab walking around the field with 7 leg lifts at each corner.

    Each PAX got the chance to throw, cycling through each round, and YHC was sorely disappointed by the general performance (including his own). The threshold of success was quickly lowered to 5, and then to 3. Sometimes we succeeded, mostly we didn’t, but fun was surely had by all.

    To close us out, and to show that all he needed was a solid warm up round, Enron nailed a very respectable 7 points, and at that we moseyed back to the flag (which, I have to confess, was shamefully left in my car during the workout – forgive me, Father, for I have sinned).

    Closed out with a little bit of Mary: penguins and crunchy frogs. COT and Paradox prayed us out, and welcome to Piccadilly – a unquestionably Spirit-given name to our new FNG.

    Looking forward to hearing about all the cornhole games won by the PAX in the coming days.

    SYITG,
    Cardinal