F3 New Orleans

Tag: Enron

  • St. Dominic Rosary Ruck – from Smooth Operator

    8/28/24
    St. Dominic Rosary Ruck

    ManEater
    Honeysuckle
    Wet Tap
    Enron
    Safety Valve

    YHC arrived at 5:17 happy to see the Pax waiting with ruck sacks instead of just a bunch of people less vehicles.

    YHC had a rosary ruck planned which entailed showing the Pax one of the few prayerful activities that had stuck in YHC shift working life. The daily rosary podcast has kept me awake many mornings on the ride home from the plant. This morning YHC picked a meditation on St. Dominic which explains the peculiar way the podcast makers prays the rosary. YHC had forgot his speaker this morning so the pax stayed close to listen in and lift up there prayers to the health care workers and patients in the hospital. We ended up making 2 laps around the hospital and an extra bonus double back loop at the end. After the rosary we discussed ways we say the rosary a little and a-lot about the hospital side by side and a Hatfield and McCoy situation down in the south Houma realm of the world.

    The Pax made it back at 0602 having rucked 2.2 miles. We counted off and offered up one last prayer especially for a Pax member and Pax member’s M having contracted Covid. Thanks to Safety Valve for praying us out and Thanks for coming out and rucking around and finding out.
    SYITG
    Smooth Operator

  • Et Tu, 80? – from Honeysuckle

    YHC plus five men gathered at the Lion’s Den on a fine Thursday morning for some side straddle hops. Then Paradox and Safety Valve showed up for the rest of the beatdown.

    Warmarama

    Side straddle hops, imperial walkers, side straggler hop, arm circles, cherry pickers, windmills, willie mays hayes.

    The main thang

    Being within a week of YHC’s birthday, today’s beatdown would be centered around that milestone. Several laminated pieces of printer paper sat gleaming around the greater Municipal Auditorium – Aldi micropolitan area. Each had an exercise and quantity at the top, another exercise in the middle, and a mode of transportation at the bottom. When the PAX reached one of the pages, all members had to do the number and quantity of the top exercise while listening to a Top 40 hit from this week in 1980.

    If the PAX could name the song title, they didn’t have to do the middle exercise. Otherwise they had to do 44 of them. If the PAX could name the artist, they could simply mosey to the next sheet rather than doing the MOT listed.

    The playlist included some enduring hits along with some obscure songs. One thing is for sure: Popeye knew all of the artists and song titles but chose to wait a really long time to release the information to increase the anxiety level of the PAX. In some cases, he refrained from even saying the right answer, because he didn’t show up to skip exercises and MOTs. Unless the extra exercise was monkey humpers, of course.

    Lil Cuz, on the other hand, might as well have been listening to music from Mars. Pope was under the impression that the lyrics were originally written in cuneiform.

    A semi-obscure Paul McCartney song (which no one knew the answers to) landed Enron the award for the easiest question YHC has ever had to answer. “Does this person have any other hits?” Even if you exclude his time as a Beatle, to say “yes” to this is an understatement.

    Goose’s exemplary deduction skills were in full display on several of the songs, figuring out song titles on many of the obscure ones. For example, the McCartney song surely sounded like he was saying “Coming On”, but Goose observed that the line “Like a Flower” was more appropriately describing “Coming Up.”

    We had a few minutes left once back at the circle, so another from that week’s Top 40, “Misunderstanding” by Genesis, was played. YHC immediately regretted this as it opened up some old wounds between Goose and Paradox. We ended with about a minute’s worth of Freddy Mercuries while listening to Boz Scaggs. Not Lido (shuffle), but Jojo.

    Valve was waiting for some Air Supply but we were all out of time.

    Announcements, then Popeye prayed us out.

    Thanks guys as always for showing up and working hard, even if you’re working hard to get out of work, that’s still work.

    I heard it on the Honeysuckle vine: It’s sort of strange when the mode of transportation is a duck walk and there are actual ducks walking across your path. Although as someone observed, to the ducks it’s just a walk.

    SYITG,
    Honeysuckle

  • Strange Things are Afoot at the Circle O’T – from America’s Best

    Warmarama
    SSH, Imperial Walkers, Windmills, WMH, arm circles to and fro, Carolina high knees with slaw, butt kicks, self-love

    The Thang:
    Here’s the deal: The PAX is split into 2 teams, each competing to be the first to bring back 6 historical figures.
    To get them, they must mosey the circuits of time (those new streets) and knock out some reps at each station.
    If you can identify the historical figure by the associated exercise, you mosey back. If not, take the MOT penalty back.
    So roll that die to see which number you get to run to. And if you’ve already been to that number, stay in San Dimas, do some Smurf Jacks or No Surrenders or LBCs with Napoleon and then roll again.

    Station 1: Wood Choppers. For Abe Lincoln, understood by all, no lunge walking.
    Station 2: Colt 45s. Both teams easily got that this was Billy the Kid, so nobody had to Broad-Jump-Burpee back
    Station 3: Nutcrackers. Popeye, drawing strength and wisdom from the tickets, came through for team 2 with Freud. Not sure if Team 1 crabwalked or not.
    Station 4: Gadfly’s. Just regular flys, but who knew Gadfly was Socrates’ nickname?
    Station 5: Curb Alpert. Apparently, no PAX present has ever heard of Herb Alpert, so the music connection was not made to Beethoven. MOT back was caterpillar.
    Station 6: Apollo Ohnos. Although separated by time and space, Goose and Pope each wisely guessed that this was Socrates. And it should be. But, as he said, “The only true wisdom is in knowing that you know nothing.” So stop being so smart and thinking so much. The actual answer took no deep thought, just the superficial (and somewhat racist and offensive) fact that Genghis Khan was also Asian. Sorry, dudes, but history is not woke. So we all Dragon walked.

    With only a minute left, team 1 took the win. Team 2 was most non-triumphant, still moseying back from their final station.

    We’ve had many excellent beatdowns, but none as bodacious as this.

    Circle OT and Goose prayed us out.

    Catch ya in the gloom,

    AB

  • Keep Thibodaux Weird – from Paradox

    YHC has been privileged to play a role in many of the storied F3 Thibodaux Schisms through the years. Sometimes as an ardent supporter, other times, ashamedly, as a lead instigator. As the great Creed Bratton once remarked “…more fun as a follower, but you make more money as a leader”. While his comment may have been referring to cultish behavior, I think the general principle applies here and I’ve now met my weekly quota of Creed quotes. And so, it’s with this schism experience that YHC feels qualified to observe the subtleties present in schism infancy. It starts at an almost undetectable level. Just a slight twitch of the eyelid during Smashmouth Allstars. Then it builds. A facial wince when you hear mainstream 90s classics and you start to avoid people that use the term “Champagne Supernova” for all the things that are great in their life. Followed by audible disdain to your cohorts about one genre/decade being more elite than another. Then, like clockwork there is a “boiling over” event. For example, no one recognizing “Lucas with the Lid Off” followed by GroupMe affirmations for the more recognizable 3rd Bass “Pop goes the Weasel” (complete random example). And just like that we are off to the races. A few laugh emojis don’t go your way and your supper doesn’t taste as sweet. You get backed into a corner and know the only way out is weapons of eardrum destruction you’ve been hiding in the dark for years, ready to lash out at moment’s notice. You dig in, readying your Spotify missiles for a lengthy war and you begin searching through old LimeWire and Napster accounts…

    But not today my brothers.

    Today, just like your optometrically prescribed headband, we will promote healing!

    But how?

    How could we thaw the frozen hearts of 90s genre elitism?

    YHC saw only one way out.

    A single artist.

    His work spanning 4 decades.

    No genre left standing in his wake.

    Today we would utilize him as an instrument of peace.

    Today..we would get WEIRD.

    Duke get your accordion and play that funky bean footage!!

    9 pax warmup of the usuals, highlighted by two late arriving ecofriendly PAX vehicles. Tanas fueled by the hard labor of rural PCPs and ABs running off his own supply of colon-to-tank methane.

    THE CONCERT THANG

    Simple and direct today.
    We would take the top 5 Weird Al hits, modify them a touch and enjoy some of the finest lyrics created in the last 40 years. YHC would sprinkle in trivia between songs.

    Correct 10 curls

    Incorrect 25 Monkey Humpers because with the trivia masterminds present you have to up the ante. These llamas play for keeps plus Pope is now 20/20 on beatdown Star Wars trivia.

    # 1 White and Nerdy
    Holding coupon Scissor Kicks , Swap on White and Nerdy , Coupon presses while holding 6 inches on song

    What famed physicist is in his library? (Hawking)
    In the song He denotes a numeral value referencing a polygon associated with this famed mathematician? (Pascal)

    10 Curls for Correct Hawking, 25 MH’s for lack of Pascal knowledge.

    #2 The Saga Begins
    Trigger on Star Wars characters and planets , and Jedi
    Around the galaxy lunges during song, Jungle Boi squat on triggers

    Which Star Wars movie specifically was Bring parodied in this song? (Phantom Menace)
    Jar Jar Binks species and home planet ? (Gungan, Naboo)
    Meaning youthful and untrained , anakin is referred by this term during his early Jedi training? (Padawan)

    # 3 Eat It
    Big Boys with Coupon , Sitting OHP on Eat It’s

    Beat it 2008 was a poorly received tribute done by this pop group ?
    Black eyed peas- Again, YHC’s error at mis labeling legumes and black eyes but the pax really needed dat lactic acid boost so we did 25 MHs.

    # 4 Amish Paradise —YHC’s personal favorite of the collection.
    Inchworm crawl out to HR Merkin during song
    Thrusters on Paradise

    The song parodied here was the #1 teach featured on the soundtrack of this 1995 movie ? (Dangerous Minds)
    Can’t you just imagine AB in his freshman dorm watching Dangerous Minds in his Jncos and chain wallet, a couple Oasis poster on wall. Life is Good!
    The teacher in this film played by whom and is nicknamed what? WHITEBREAD
    Goose was awarded partial credit for attempts at White Witch and 10 MHs were deducted.

    #5 FAT
    Squat side Kicks , Bonnie Blair’s on fat
    This parodied song was originally planned as a duet with what other royalty of 80s rock ? (Prince)
    **As the day unfolded our local investigative journo Mr. Wilford Montana unearthed an entire Prince vs MJ beef that is quite a rollercoaster including Prince trying to run over MJ in a parking lot followed by MJ calling Prince a “meanie” for the attempted vehicular manslaughter.

    We needed a recovery mosey to really smell the Nirvana and Goose needed to show King Pickleball he still has enough Sprint coverage for all the dead zones.

    Captain D’s bestowed the Animal to Valveline, noted that he rubbed some dirt on a fractured foot and posted all week.

    Valve awarded Jedediah Dawson aka Pope yet another well-deserved Fire Within for pumping out sitting OHPs while telling YHC Weird Al was too weird for his taste..hmmm…must be a Pete Gabriel guy.

    COT and Goose prayed us out

    Thanks for getting Weird with me today fellas

    POSTingSCRIPTs

    You know those safety signs in plants that denote “X number of days since the last safety incident”?

    Well, at F3 Thibodaux the peace of Weird Al led to a combined schism healing of 32 minutes before a recurrent 90s Pax villain threatened to reveal his Offspring and an Ace up his sleeve in the near future. This, in turn, stirred up at least two other delinquents who promptly started calling each other Aswads… and we were back at square one with 45 minutes of hard earned therapy down the toilet. The only course left was an apology…

    To Mr. Weird Alfred Matthew Yankovic:

    I tried your methods and found them useful but we may need a longer treatment plan to Smash these Pumpkins. Its like I’m trying to Reel in a Big Blowfish, not just a Hootie, but I’m keeping a Third Eye Blind to the mid 40’s Dinosaur Jr’s with no respect for the Pax still in the Green River of their youth.

    I’m just trying to save some Collective Souls in this Asylum but the more I fight for the Right to Party the more I realize that some of these Ricks just like to Roll and the rest of these goo goo dolls prefer to troll. Some are happy to see Dave Mathews churn, but some, well some just want strike a Matchbox 20 and watch it Burn.

    Thank you for keeping it Weird Mr. Al

    See you in the Grunge

    Dox

  • From the Bayou to Bosnia – from Maneater

    On a humid June morning at the Coliseum five PAX assembled to set off on a journey across the world. While the environment may have seemed like Thibodaux, the PAX were actually transported to a small village between two craggy mountains in the eastern European country of Bosnia-Herzegovina. The town, Medjugorje, has been host to Catholic Pilgrims from around the world for since June 25th 1981. And on this day after the 43rd anniversary of the first visitation on Podbro (Apparition Hill), the PAX set out on our own spiritual journey.
    The Thang:
    1. Pray the Glorious Mysteries of the Rosary as PAX rucked towards St. Joseph cemetery. PAX provided their own rosaries, YHC added a 4 ft long stone Rosary which weighed around 7 lbs, this one would be held by whomever lead each decade.
    For 20 minutes and about 1 ¼ mile PAX prayed all 5 decades. Making it through the “Hail, Holy Queen” before all of the PAX including YHC had a complete brain fart and forgot the first line of the Final prayer……I blame it on the humidity.
    2. After arriving at St. Joseph PAX took a moment to pray for the Holy Souls in Purgatory with an Our Father, Hail Mary, and a Glory Be.
    3. Ruck to Stock Rock to climb “cross mountain”.
    On our ruck back from St. Joseph Cemetery many conversations ensued including camping trips, and bachelor parties gone wrong. Then in the shadow of the Colosseum a silhouette emerged. The majestic gait, as If floating on a cloud, and smirk of a man who has seen some things, made it abundantly clear who this towering figure, fast approaching, was. None other than Popeye. After explaining to Popeye we still had a mile to go and a mountain to climb, he eagerly joined. In an instant our platoon of pilgrims had grown by one. More conversations about bridge runs (obviously that was a Popeye and Honeysuckle lead convo) and other topics happened. As we summited the Himalaya of Healthcare, that is Stock Rock, a cross came into view. Granted, It wasn’t the 30 ft concrete cross of Medjugorje’s Cross Mountain, but it was good enough. No, this cross was green…..and on the back of an adjacent medical building…..and had the words cancer center written under it. But it was a cross, and it was visible. Beggars can’t be choosers. So YHC made do. YHC then orated a little (big surprise there, I’m sure) about some of the cool things about Medjugorje like cross mountain’s construction, faith in the face of communism, and St. James church.
    PAX had made it to the top of the mountain, and to the foot of the (kind of) cross. Our pilgrimage was coming to an end. At the end of our ruck Pax completed roughly 3.5 miles, and a Rosary. That’s a great way to start a Wednesday if you ask me.

    SYITG,
    Maneater

  • Summer Swolestice – from Paradox

    Summer Swolstice

    Inspiration for a beatdown can come from almost anywhere. The blank slate , fresh canvas you are handed as a Q will always give YHC that “kid at Christmas” feeling. Lose Yourself in some nice Cinema and the the next day you are leading the men in the Inception kick song in a mosey around a municipal building at 520am. Have another pax critique your form? No bother, you can answer with a 45 minute beatdown lecture on Apollo and his OhYes. Earl Dibbles fan? YEEEE YEEE brother! Say no more, that’s a whole hour specialty beatdown!
    Tributes , birthdays , mountain climbing franchises, feast days, holidays, schisms, sandwiches vendettas…all great reasons for a free men’s workout and today YHC wanted to add one more entry to our Pax ever expanding portfolio: the exercise research beatdown. June 20th being the summer solstice and this month being Alzheimer’s awareness month YHC has been reading more about the cutting edge prevention of this state and of neuro cognitive decline, a field that has exploded in just the last decade. YHC saw a recent study placing exercise (mental and physical) very highly on the list of modifiable risk factors. It went further, breaking down the type and duration of cardio and by the time YHC had finished reading the abstract the following beatdown was in the slow cooker just waiting on lab mice…ahemmm…pax.

    Duke! Put the WD40 on the rowing chains ! The pax need some cardio.

    YHC moseyed in with 30 seconds till kickoff after a light setup sesh. AB was found loitering in the midst of the circle and was pulled into a full on haboob he didn’t much care for. Some commented it was Darude of him to decline advances but he must be more of a slow dance kinda guy, I’ll try Peter Gabriel next time.
    Anyhouser, We got right into the usuals and then Sandstormed our way to the Cones of Dunshire.

    According to this metanalysis the following actions are optimal for maintaining our cognitive abilities and stemming decline. (Some liberties were taken so please don’t send this to JAMA , they have enough on their plate working on Valves call schedule complaints )

    Needed:

    -10 minute bursts of cardio
    -Short Term/Long Term Memory work with rapid alternation between the two
    -Execution of a task , especially with spatial awareness
    -learning a new skill
    -Social relationships

    So obviously the challenge here is “could this all be done simultaneously in 45 minutes ?”

    Here’s YHCs swing at it .

    10 station Circuit

    1. Med Ball Slam (no one has time for therapy )
    2. WW3 Sit-ups (cuz they suck)
    3. OHP (make free throws challenging)
    4. Goblet Squats (that suck thing again)
    5. Row (learn something new)
    6. Coupon Curls (for Ronnie)
    7. Pickle #1 with increasing drop burpees (build social relationships)
    8. Pickle #2 (what Goose happens after 5 guys)
    9. Apollo Ohnos (cus YJ loves them )
    10. THE TIMER : dribble run with various free throws (spatial execution)

    While traversing the circuit the lab participants would need to compile a working short term memory bank of seemingly random words while accessing there long term memory to see if there was a common thread. Musical clues and foils would be playing for motivation, rhythmic coordination, and philosophical discussion.

    R1 BEST PICTURE

    Moonlight – Parasite- Crash-Chicago-Gladiatior-Ghandi-Patton-Marty- Rebecca -Spotlight

    R2 Bond Villains

    Trevelyan- Scaramanga- elektra king -le chiffre- Hugo Drax – Dr. Julius No – Mr White – Raoul Silva- Elliot Carver – Mr Big

    R3 NOBEL Prize

    Linus Pauling, MLK, Mother Theresea , Al Gore, Red Cross, Watson and Crick , Al Einstein

    Lab Observations:
    – the OHP and Curls had devastating effecting on FT percentage (that’s what we will blame today)
    – YHC loved listening to the proposed common threads and watch the “AHA” moments as the puzzles clicked. I saw the exact moment during Duran Duran that Goose realized they were all bond villains!
    – ManEater was upset Bloodsport wasn’t in the Best Pic nods and he has his own best picture list, I can’t wait for that beatdown.
    – HS can drain a free throw on command but also wanted everyone in zone 4 cardio so he missed some just to sharpen iron,

    Gear packed in the party wagon and we moseyed back to launch pad.

    Wet Tap graced AB with The Fire Within (TFW), actually the same phrase the GI doc wrote to describe his colonoscopy.

    Invitations to keep those individuals and their families suffering with cognitive decline in your prayers and to offer our own sufferings for Christ to use in their relief.

    COT and Popeye prayed us out

    Post Doc Analysis

    Like any good study YHC had to leave some variables unknown to the subjects so YHC did not inform the Pax that the Lions den court had been converted into a linear functional MRI scanner for observation of brain waves and translation to pax thoughts during the exercise. Here are the results:

    Wet Tap: I’m feeling really extra swole in this tank top, can I award myself the fire within?

    YJ: We’re no strangers to love

    Goose: This may be the dumbest thing dox has ever done, wait is that the row machine! …ok second dumbest and I’ll give him a half point for Lecrae.

    Lil Cuz: Gladiator, Spotlight, Crash..are these all ways to describe my beard ?

    YJ: You know the rules and so do I

    Enron: Gosh I hope he’s got some Cash Money Millionaires on that playlist.

    Americas Best: I should really look for a free men’s workout with harder trivia

    YJ : Never gonna give you up

    Popeye : *smirk intensifies

    ManEater: where is “Dumb and Dumber”, “Die Hard” , and “Point Break”????
    This is clearly not best picture material.

    YJ: Never gonna let you down

    Honeysuckle: This is a great warmup. Hope I hit Zone 2 today.

    YJ : Never gonna run around and desert you !

    A pleasure to lead men
    Thanks for letting me Roll with you.

    SYITG
    Dox

  • Be a Daddy, Not a Diddy – from America’s Best

    The beatdown usually starts with a small idea. YHC wanted to emphasize form today. The dictum “Slow is Smooth, Smooth is Fast” came to mind.
    YHC learned of this phrase from “cool dad” Phil Dunphy. Apparently the phrase subsequently became so prolific I believe the military even adopted it.
    Pre-Father’s Day miracle #1: Didn’t even realize I was creating a (Pre-)Father’s Day Beatdown.
    It’s probably known by now that YHC has an unhealthy compulsion to inject some kind of musical trivia into every beatdown. For this one, each song would have a commonality which the PAX would have to discern at the end of the beatdown.

    But first: Standard-issue Warmarama, with one addition
    SSH
    Windmills
    Imperial Walkers
    Mountain Climbers
    Arm Circles
    Willie Mays Hayes
    Top of the Merkin to Ya (not Blades of Steel) – programmed exclusively to help rehab YHC’s shoulder

    Quick mosey around The Center Formerly Known as The Lion’s Den while we heard “Intro” by The XX – only a 2 minute jam, so some sprinting was necessary.

    Prelude to The Thang:
    Originally planned as a Dora, YHC somehow found “All About the Benjamins” on a page I had saved from the Exicon, so I changed it from Dora to AATB… but I had already formed my playlist, and while Puff Daddy fits into the Father’s Day theme, “All About the Benjamins” would definitely not fit the music theme (and we won’t mention P-Diddy’s recent transgressions). I almost changed the entire musical theme around this song, but ultimately decided to keep the list as planned…

    Pre-Father’s Day Miracle #2: The song I had already chosen as the first song (originally for the Dora), was relatively unknown to me … and it contains the lyric “All About The Benjamins”

    On to the Thang: All About the Benjamins setup as 25 SLOW 6-count Curls, 25 lunge walks, then 25 Arnold Schwartzenager (8-count) Squats. Bear crawl back, rinse and repeat until we have done 100 of each.
    As Yankee Jeaux noted, the bear crawls seemed considerably easier after the super-tempo squats. That extra stretch actually does something. The importance of proper form, boys. Make a note of it.
    Not surprisingly, this part of the beatdown took a good amount of time. Our entertainment was not so much the music itself, but Paradox’s guesses on the music theme, as well as the artists. “Songs ODs smoked weed to in college?” stood out to me. Also of note, Dox may have heard the names Peter Gabriel and Phil Collins somehow associated with the 80s and 90s. Or maybe he is just trying to hurt Goose.

    We finished that up with just enough time for the gamified mosey around The CFKATLD. Except that it wasn’t a mosey, but a sprint with 5 Arnold Merkins at each stop, unless someone could identify the common thread amongst the songs. The catch: first, you have to identify the song/artist to unlock the your chance to guess the theme. We stopped at the first cone while YHC played a clip of Intro by the XX… Popeye correctly ID’d the band, but at that point did not have a guess for the theme. So we sprinted to the next cone and did the merkins while we heard a clip of The End of the Contender by Everything Everything… no one knew this one, so we sprinted/merkined again. This continued through songs by Django Django, JR JR, and Man Man. Somewhere in there Enron voiced the answer to the theme, but no one had yet unlocked any band name in order to make that guess, so on we suffered (YHC may have put the more obscure bands at the beginning by design). Finally Goose saved us, identifying Mr. Mister, and completing the second answer. We got to mosey the rest of the way while skipping past Talk Talk, Duran Duran, and the Ting Tings. Thankfully we did not have to listen to the Go-Gos.
    T-Claps to Enron for remembering to grab the cones.

    We arrived back at the flags for a quick Mary. YHC led us through some Wheezy Jeffersons before passing the baton to Goose, who apparently wanted to showcase YHC’s lack of coordination by ordering Dr. W’s. And there was much flailing.

    COT

    Always an honor and pleasure to lead.

    SYITG,
    America’s Best

    AB Sees: The Hand of God in everything. Even in Everything Everything.
    I mentioned some “miracles” in this blast, which is probably hyperbole, but I think it underlines the fact that God’s hand is truly in everything we experience. So from big miracles (like YHC finally becoming a Father a few years ago) to everyday “God Winks,” it’s important to acknowledge even the smallest things as gifts from God.

  • The Answer to Life, The Universe, and Everything – from Goose

    It’s 42. That’s why this is such an important year, or maybe just an important beatdown. The year was 1982, an important year, maybe not for music, or movies, or culture in general, but certainly for YHC.

    Warmup consisted of the usuals–YHC had no energy for 42 (or 82) of anything, especially given the packed schedule of events to be revealed.

    Top song on June 11, 1982? “Ebony and Ivory” by Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder, the song that fixed the problem of racism in the United States (and Great Britain). While Bose’ Sr. cranked the synth on this one, PAX switched back and forth from Peter Parkers to Parker Peters every time they said the titular “Ebony and Ivory”. It seemed much longer than it was, and not (just) because it’s a boring song.

    What was the top song of the year? “Eye of the Tiger” by Survivor, it’s success fueled by Rocky and every school with a tiger mascot. But, we wouldn’t be doing anything with this one…

    What culturally significant blockbuster movie was released on June 11, 1982? That’s right, it was E.T. And, YHC asked the PAX: in typical Spielberg fashion, a child yells what extremely crude epithet that is completely inappropriate for his age? Both AB and White Meat, in perfect harmony, immediately and loudly answered (correctly): “penis breath!” YHC quickly assured the PAX that this wouldn’t be the theme of our next exercise to the visible (and audible) relief of the group. Jokes were made about YHC taking this opportunity to finally reveal the real nature of F3, ha ha! But, that won’t come for another year or so.

    YHC cued up the E.T. “Flying” theme song, and we flew on our bicycles for the duration: 41 Freddy Mercurys (1:1) and 11 jump squats, on repeat AMRAP.

    Next YHC suggested gloves and led the PAX (surprise, surprise) to the beginning of the new street where there used to be a bumper. YHC explained the cultural and personal significance of the dawn of the Super Mario/Ninteno age in 1985, and then explained that we’d be taking advantage of the well-spaced green pipes along this road. At every green pipe (cluster), which were about 15-20 yards apart, we’d switch between Mario skips (punch those bricks!) and bear crawls, effectively going “up” and “down” the pipes.

    Once we arrived at the end of the street (about 8 pipes long), YHC shared the centrality of basketball, or at least basketball practice for both middle school and high school years. So, just like my Cuban high school coach, Elmo (that was his real name), YHC instructed the PAX in red faced fashion to “Get on the line! We gonna…………(unintelligible syllables)……..JUST GET ON THE LINE!” It was suicide time. (Thank you, Popeye.) From that line, we did suicides to up to the fifth pipe before moseying back to the flag for a couple more thangs. Honeysuckle (and America’s Best) put on a clinic with these, making you wonder if your excuses for slowing down were really grounded in reality, or if they’ve really been doing that much extra running on the side.

    Back at the flag, YHC gathered Bose’ and phone to set up for the next thang and found what looked to be a long handle/stick with a hook at the end. It served well as a prop to keep the speaker and phone from sitting too deep in the wet grass, and inadvertently as a major source of intimidating mystery for the PAX (“what could he possibly have planned for a stick with a hook on it? Is this finally where he reveals the true nature of F3?) Ha! No, not for another year or so.

    YHC’s early 20’s were defined by four years in seminary and a bunch of summers working at a summer camp in the mountains of North Carolina, where Pope and half of his siblings are now. It cannot be overstated how much influence these experiences had on forming YHC into the man he is today. So, we cued up “Church Clap” by KB, Lecrae and “Still Wandering’ by Bronze Radio Return to honor these two, and the PAX started doing stationary 21’s with genuflections (for seminary) and mountain climbers (for camp). But, after doing 20 followed by 19 genuflections, it became clear that this would take way too much time, and we lose a few PAX, so YHC changed it to 11’s. This was plenty.

    After this, we had just enough time to honor the period that followed to the current day–marriage and family. YHC thought I had experience great things, hard things, and had accomplished much…until marriage, and kids. Being a husband and father has brought me to my limitations and blown past them, forcing me to grow so I can give more of me to the people who need it and deserve it. We’ve been married for almost 17 years and have had 10 kids, and the reaction I most hear is “How do you do that?” The answer is, “By not asking that question.” Nobody has what it takes to be the husband and father their wife and children need them to be–it has to be ripped out of us one day, one minute at a time. So, just like with F3, especially with a lot of burpees on the line, we all know that if you ask the question, “How am I gonna do this?”, you’ve already set yourself up to fizzle out early. You just have to choose to start and then not to give yourself an excuse to stop or count the cost or analyze how much you have left in the tank. Your tank will grow with you if you force it to!

    So, 17 years of marriage plus 10 kids = 27 burpees. Don’t ask questions, just start and do one more burpee until you get to 27. And that’s what these guys did, and they keep doing it every time the Q lays out the plan, every time the alarm clock goes off, and every time their body says, “How are you gonna keep going? Is this sensible?” No, but it’s so awesome, and I’m so grateful that you men decided to choose the awesome over the easy this morning and every time you come out!

    COT and Dox prayed us out. Incredible work today, brothers, and it was a great gift to have so many of you out there.

    SYITG,
    Goose, 42

  • Shark Week – from Paradox

    YHC usually has beatdowns loosely formed a few days in advance. But occasionally inspiration will strike so violently that the whole plan needs to be scrapped at the 11th hour. This was the case Monday night when, looking for a “it’s behind me “ hype gif , I came across LLCoolJ from Deep Blue Sea (high on the “influenced my pre teen years movie list” )
    He looked in my eyes through a foggy , heavily cracked IPhone screen and spoke right to me.
    “They need Shark Week Dox , search your heart, they aren’t ready, it’s your job to prepare them”

    All at once, I knew it was true.
    These men are headed to beaches with their families for the next 2-3 months and I can’t send them into battle without conditioning.

    Say no more Mr Cool James, I’ll take care of the rest.

    Duke! Get out of the water and roll the footage!

    9 strong at the Stage.
    We did all the favorite warmers a d YHC was downright scared at the amount of groans coming from attendees of Mondays Wet Tap massacre. Hope they wouldn’t need legs today … headed off to the deep blue sea in an Indian run 3 burp drop.

    Thang 1

    We would stop for 3 rounds of shark related trivia.
    Simple rules.
    Start with 125 reps
    Take 25 off for every correct answer .

    Shark trivia
    1. deep blue sea —-what shark species—-mako
    2. What disease are they trying to cure —-Alzheimer’s
    3. Director of DBS had one previous financial success in 1993. —Cliffhanger
    4. Although he plays the cook , LL cool J character is known as (Blank) and stabs a shark in the eye with a (Blank). —-preacher/crucifix

    Pretty shaky start here when YHC realized know had seen this movie in like 15 years.
    75 merkin fast ball right out the gate.

    General Shark Round
    1.) Smallest shark species—dwarf lantern shark
    2.) The term “jump the shark “ was first used to reference what tv show ? ——Happy Days
    3.) Appearing in the first episode of Saturday night live , this actor played a recurring character , the land shark ——Chevy Chase
    4.) what Hyundai coup got its name from the Spanish word for shark —-Tiburon

    Much better showing here in round 2 as the trivia titans began to stretch their brains. Could have been the acute danger of 125 monkey jumpers signaling a storm of epinephrine but regardless the count was reduced to 25.

    Jaws Category

    1Jaws based on novel of the same name by who ? (Peter Benchley)
    2.) 2 men killed by sharks in this state inspired the book —-NJ
    3.) name the species of shark killed that is mistaken for jaws ? Tiger
    4. The character Quint is a survivor of what famed battleship? USS Indianapolis

    50 Bobbie Hurleys and the legs were primed for Thang 2

    Sharks and Guppies

    Rules
    1 shark starts w 15 burpees – then is free to chase

    Guppies must complete 15 burpees spread out at 3 stations
    If caught before completing the loop they pay 15 merkins

    The shark must pay 5 burpees for every free guppy.

    Round 1 Baby Shark
    Round 2 Grandpa Shark

    YHC made this game specifically with Honeysuckle and Pope in mind. Both with gazelle speed and wolf stamina they were in a good spot to sharpen some iron. Knowing pope would destroy most of us in the first round, the hope was to push near our limits of endurance in round 2.
    This effect was devastating in the Nur round as the quads were screaming and the beekeeper ran most of us down in cold blood, hunting those who had snickered at his coupon crabwalk. Vengeance was his.

    Indian run home looking for Lenny Bruce .

    It wasn’t the end of the world and we didn’t feel fine either.

    Animal from Granpa shark to baby shark.

    Pope had true concerns that he would lose his cardio during summer camp. The collective eye roll from the pax was so severe no eye institute could repair it, not even an advanced one.

    we wished him well in camp and YhC hopes the Animal is the only shirt in his suitcase.

    COT and Goose prayed us out.

    See you in the deep end,

    Dox

  • It’s The Climb – from Paradox

    When the recent news of parish reassignments hit YHC, two things became clear. The first was an inevitable Cardinal tribute beatdown and the second was that I needed some time to think. I needed some distance (about 80miles would do) , some time to reflect …maybe even a nice view…maybe even a lake. And there’s one lake I know of. It’s the one you know too. And as I sat there, parked by that lake, (you know the one), I reflected upon the gift of our own beloved Cardinal to our community. And right there, parked by that very lake, I dedicated this here beatdown to his 5 year ordination anniversary.

    7 men at the Den on a relatively cool Thursday morning for some lake reflection and light calisthenics. The unsuspecting pax to be honored had been lured in with JBL HCs, dreams of chic-fil-a Coffeeteria and mysterious Smooth pressure at the previous nights DC circle. He dutifully fought the fartsack with a spare JBL, a few more regulars rolled in and we were ready to go.

    Duke!! Plug Morgan city in the GPS ! What?! It’s not 80 miles away? Ok ok we’ll edit that in post …roll the footage!!

    Warmup
    The usuals with a warmup mosey for cone deposition and coupon configuration. This is usually where pax are looking for dox booby traps or random garage gym equipment but today all except one had been alerted it was a Cardinal tribute. They trudged onward anyway , into a nest of heavy coupons and gratitude.

    THA THANG

    YHC announced that we would celebrate Cardinals many gifts in circuit and musical form .

    Song

    The Announcement

    When yHC first spoke with Cardinal about his new Morgan City parish we mostly planned an AO for the nearby LakeEnd park. It was amidst these jokes I saw the lake, and the miles, and the parking. Only one song could carry the weight of this kind of announcement

    Dean Summerwind
    “Parked by the Lake
    Merkin – Parked
    Side Reach – Lake
    MC – Santa Fe

    That one never gets old.

    Next the Challenge

    YHC has always been amazed at the sheer volume of Cardinals schedule. Mass, family dinners, meetings, plannimg schizms, whoop surveys, biscuit tastings, coffee roasters fine things club…and that’s just a regular Monday.
    so an attempt was made to recreate and bring the pax along for the challenge.

    Start in front of CC stairs
    25 merkins (wake up)
    Coupon Crab Walk to stairs (walk to coffee pot)
    Confession/Mass/confession –
    – 10 Thrusters – 10 curls- 10 Thrusters
    High knee waves to cone (as a local celebrity
    Run remaining civic center (late for a meeting) High knees waves back
    Then Repeat above …because you have another mass at 10M mass
    Coupon lunge backwards
    25 merkins

    The pax had all accepted various non priest vocations by the second serving of thrusters and Honeysuckle even assisted YHCs theme by pretending to display weakness at Coupon Crabwalks, prompting YHC to extend help to a “struggling parishioner” and swap everyone to coupon lunges walks. It’s ok HS , those Shakira hips don’t lie but they’re just too powerful.

    Next we honored Cardinals uncanny ability to answer trivia with burpees on the line.
    Early in YHCs Q career I selected the Hannah Montana movie album with hopes of cardio torture. Cardinal heard 2 microseconds of the beat, guessed the song, the year released AND the album saving the pax around 30 burpees. F3 Thib scholars still teach it to their students as a historical landmark of leadership.

    Song:

    Its the Climb – Miley Cyrus
    SSH/ Burpees from Mountain to Climb

    Another round of the Mass circuit and them coups were getting heavy.

    Finally, and more sincerely YHC wanted to recognize Cardinals willingness to allow God to direct his life , pour out his grace and provide support for many of his F3 and community brothers through trying times and tribulations.

    Song :
    Lord of Hosts – Shane and Shane
    Ring of Fire – Merkins – Burpees
    We did a lot. The vision was blurry.

    COT
    Rugby to Cardinal
    and Popeye prayed us out

    **special shout out to a few Cardinal partners in crime who provided “Cardinals greatest hits: Seal, Nelly and beyond”

    Words of a Feather:

    In the fall of 2021 YHC walked onto a gloomy stage with a financial advisor and a theologian . Sounds like a bad doctor joke with a bartender punchline right?
    It was actually YHCs first beatdown and I remember impressions of each man well. Goose, responsible for the EH at dinner the night before, had firmly planted himself in YHCs brain as “just my kind of crazy person”but the intensity level was palpable in his gaze so I looked onward. His wife had informed me it was “calisthenics and running” so why did it look more like a Cobra Kai seminar? “ Ok don’t panic” I told myself. , what about the other guy? Oh , Enron? He looked like a man who would crush a beer can between his forearm and bicep first and ask questions later. Clearly he was the enforcer of the bunch and I hoped my 318 cred would last for atleast 45 minutes. I was beginning to unravel this odd corporate structure, simultaneously back peddling to the car and trying to decide which one would ask me for the first monthly installment when a third man appeared. His smile was equal parts kind and welcoming and as he strolled in I felt an overwhelming sense of safety. They both addressed him as Cardinal. He replied with appropriate quips for each and we got started.
    As we celebrate Cardinals 5th year as a priest it’s this very gift that I want to highlight the most, providing hope. For me that day it was just hope to survive chubbawampas hit single. But for the many people in this community he has impacted it’s a much greater Hope.

    Hope restored as he administers sacraments ,Hope reminded in skilled homilies and Hope redeemed in spiritual direction.

    All these, and much more he provides as an instrument of Gods grace and as an example of great trust.

    Cardinal, you are a gift to our F3 brotherhood. We are grateful for you and look forward to supporting you in the next adventure.

    And just know that when you’re ready , we’ll all be parked out there…sitting right by that lake…you know the one.

    SYITG ,
    Dox