F3 New Orleans

Tag: Goose

  • Save the coupons – from Safety Valve

    YHC started a campaign earlier in the month to free the coupons. They have been oppressed and beaten on for too long now. They are even starting to revolt. No foot is safe any longer. I thought sandbags were the answer. Well, fast forward two weeks, and the campaign never really caught on. Especially with all the IPC prep the past couple weeks. Today, we merge the best of both worlds. IPC prep and no coupon work.

    Warmaramma
    SSH – started on number 2 since I now have to carry on Enron’s lies at each beatdown about not being there for number 1.
    Mountain climbers
    Windmills
    Willy mays hays
    Arm circles – forward and back
    Self love

    The thang
    Looking back to last year IPC, I recall the BDE mile. Continuous running with burpees and merkins mixed in. We moseyed to Rich mans loop. The instructions were simple. Mosey a lap around the loop, when you get back to the starting point, do 5 burpees. Mosey another lap and when you get back to the starting point, do 5 merkins. Rinse and repeat. Groups formed at the very get go.

    1. Goose, Dox, and YHC had a very in depth discussion about a few topics. We briefly touched upon St Benedict’s writings on The Rule. Dox and YHC was way in over heads on this one with Goose nearby. The two doctors asked for the cliff notes version and that’s where the conversation changed. Goose then opened up and let out something that has probably been weighing him down for some time. He feels betrayed that producers of movies would intentionally lie to us and portray things in unrealistic ways. So innocent is our young Goose. Does Tom Cruise beat up 20 people in a brawl scene in Mission Impossible? Yes. Is this realistic? Nope.
    2. Wet tap and Lil cuz kept just far enough back to not enter into our conversation. Likely on purpose.
    3. White meat and Cousin Eddie were discussing how they ever get mixed up with a bunch of idiots who enjoy running in a circle.

    COT, Cuz prayed us out. Fill up the Q sheet!

    #Renewyourvalves
    Don’t listen to Ricky Bobby – Tom cruise really can’t save you. God puts others in our life to support us during difficult times. F3 is the ultimate example of this. Thanks for all the support in the past and the future.

  • It Was Quite the Palooza – from America’s Best

    30 years ago today: August 10, 1994.
    Do you know where you were? Of course not, you were probably a preteen or a baby. But old man AB does. Lollapalooza, Raleigh, North Carolina. Green Day. The Beastie Boys. A Tribe called Quest. Smashing Pumpkins. George Clinton. The Breeders. Even Shaquille O’Neal.
    Could this PAX even identify the music of these performers?
    Probably not without Honeysuckle, and definitely not without Popeye.

    The warmarama:
    SSH, Abe Vigotas, mountain climbers, slow high knees, regular butt kicks, crazy arms circling whilst picking cherries, maybe something else.

    The First Thang- Left my gas card in El Segundo:

    Begin with a mosey down the road…

    (YHC still clearly remembers casting off his mother’s suggestions to bring extra snacks and drinks for the journey. “Mom- it’s not the Oregon Trail. We can stop at any gas station if we need any of that.”
    Unfortunately, 18-year old AB didn’t think to stop at a gas station for gas… and car no go without the gas.
    It was a different time. It was the 90s.
    No cellphones, no internet. Not a single luxury. So when you run out of gas on the interstate, you just … wait.)
    So we stop on our mosey and just wait.
    And just listen to A Tribe Called Quest (and another yet-to-be-identified band)
    Hold Al Gore until you can’t anymore. Then hold plank until you can’t.

    The 2nd Thang:
    Boulevard of Broken Dreams

    The girls spent too long getting ready, some of the crew wants to stay in the car a while longer, and the guy with IBS has to find a porta-potty immediately. The result of all this nonsense is missing almost all of Green Day’s set.
    Because YHC is still a bit salty about that, the PAX gets to relive some of the frustration of traveling back and forth to the car before finally getting into the show.
    11s
    Start with one Bobby Hurley(at the gates) then run to do 10 no-cheat Merkins (at the car), then bear-crawl back to the start. Continue the process until the physical pain erases the emotional anguish.

    3rd Thang:
    A Brass Kicking

    First song: Brass Monkey
    (Like I said, it was a different time. The 90s were wild with songs normalizing questionable social practices).
    Curls during the song, and monkey-humping goblet squats on each “monkey”

    Followed by “Can I Kick it?”
    Yes you can… flutter kick until you hear that question, then heels to heaven.

    Final Thang: Again, Again, Again
    The best and worst thing about Lollapalooza is all the music and all the stages. Here the PAX got to celebrate and lament moving between the stages.

    4 stages (corners) escalator
    Stage 1: 10 burpees
    Run to
    Stage 2: 10 burpees+20 BBS
    Run to
    Stage 3: 10 burpees+20 BBS+30 merkins
    Run to
    Stage 4: 10 burpees+20 BBS+30 merkins+40 air squats

    About halfway through, the PAX flexed its music chops, as Popeye ID’d Kim Deal’s band The Breeders, then Honeysuckle the Album name, and Cardinal called out the year released (he was 1).
    Then, sometime near the end of the escalator, Popeye made me question my memories, nay, my entire existence, insisting that the Beastie Boys surely didn’t play Sabotage at Lollapalooza ‘94.
    But I SWEAR they closed with it. What was happening? At this point I was somewhere between burpee number 40 and my 112th merkin, so I was beginning to question everything. What if Puddle of Mudd IS my favorite 90s band? Am I actually a fan of Depeche Mode? Maybe I do enjoy omelets?!?!?
    YHC was beyond confused, like Arnold Schwarzenegger at the end of Total Recall, or Joe Biden at the end of breakfast. “Who ate all my toast?”

    Thankfully the beatdown was ending. I pushed Popeye’s ill communications from my mind and stumbled to the flag for COT.

    Super-stoked to have Cardinal out there again, and honored to have him pray us out.

    Always an honor to lead this group (and subject you to some of the Best American music history).

    SYITG,

    AB

  • Et Tu, 80? – from Honeysuckle

    YHC plus five men gathered at the Lion’s Den on a fine Thursday morning for some side straddle hops. Then Paradox and Safety Valve showed up for the rest of the beatdown.

    Warmarama

    Side straddle hops, imperial walkers, side straggler hop, arm circles, cherry pickers, windmills, willie mays hayes.

    The main thang

    Being within a week of YHC’s birthday, today’s beatdown would be centered around that milestone. Several laminated pieces of printer paper sat gleaming around the greater Municipal Auditorium – Aldi micropolitan area. Each had an exercise and quantity at the top, another exercise in the middle, and a mode of transportation at the bottom. When the PAX reached one of the pages, all members had to do the number and quantity of the top exercise while listening to a Top 40 hit from this week in 1980.

    If the PAX could name the song title, they didn’t have to do the middle exercise. Otherwise they had to do 44 of them. If the PAX could name the artist, they could simply mosey to the next sheet rather than doing the MOT listed.

    The playlist included some enduring hits along with some obscure songs. One thing is for sure: Popeye knew all of the artists and song titles but chose to wait a really long time to release the information to increase the anxiety level of the PAX. In some cases, he refrained from even saying the right answer, because he didn’t show up to skip exercises and MOTs. Unless the extra exercise was monkey humpers, of course.

    Lil Cuz, on the other hand, might as well have been listening to music from Mars. Pope was under the impression that the lyrics were originally written in cuneiform.

    A semi-obscure Paul McCartney song (which no one knew the answers to) landed Enron the award for the easiest question YHC has ever had to answer. “Does this person have any other hits?” Even if you exclude his time as a Beatle, to say “yes” to this is an understatement.

    Goose’s exemplary deduction skills were in full display on several of the songs, figuring out song titles on many of the obscure ones. For example, the McCartney song surely sounded like he was saying “Coming On”, but Goose observed that the line “Like a Flower” was more appropriately describing “Coming Up.”

    We had a few minutes left once back at the circle, so another from that week’s Top 40, “Misunderstanding” by Genesis, was played. YHC immediately regretted this as it opened up some old wounds between Goose and Paradox. We ended with about a minute’s worth of Freddy Mercuries while listening to Boz Scaggs. Not Lido (shuffle), but Jojo.

    Valve was waiting for some Air Supply but we were all out of time.

    Announcements, then Popeye prayed us out.

    Thanks guys as always for showing up and working hard, even if you’re working hard to get out of work, that’s still work.

    I heard it on the Honeysuckle vine: It’s sort of strange when the mode of transportation is a duck walk and there are actual ducks walking across your path. Although as someone observed, to the ducks it’s just a walk.

    SYITG,
    Honeysuckle

  • Strange Things are Afoot at the Circle O’T – from America’s Best

    Warmarama
    SSH, Imperial Walkers, Windmills, WMH, arm circles to and fro, Carolina high knees with slaw, butt kicks, self-love

    The Thang:
    Here’s the deal: The PAX is split into 2 teams, each competing to be the first to bring back 6 historical figures.
    To get them, they must mosey the circuits of time (those new streets) and knock out some reps at each station.
    If you can identify the historical figure by the associated exercise, you mosey back. If not, take the MOT penalty back.
    So roll that die to see which number you get to run to. And if you’ve already been to that number, stay in San Dimas, do some Smurf Jacks or No Surrenders or LBCs with Napoleon and then roll again.

    Station 1: Wood Choppers. For Abe Lincoln, understood by all, no lunge walking.
    Station 2: Colt 45s. Both teams easily got that this was Billy the Kid, so nobody had to Broad-Jump-Burpee back
    Station 3: Nutcrackers. Popeye, drawing strength and wisdom from the tickets, came through for team 2 with Freud. Not sure if Team 1 crabwalked or not.
    Station 4: Gadfly’s. Just regular flys, but who knew Gadfly was Socrates’ nickname?
    Station 5: Curb Alpert. Apparently, no PAX present has ever heard of Herb Alpert, so the music connection was not made to Beethoven. MOT back was caterpillar.
    Station 6: Apollo Ohnos. Although separated by time and space, Goose and Pope each wisely guessed that this was Socrates. And it should be. But, as he said, “The only true wisdom is in knowing that you know nothing.” So stop being so smart and thinking so much. The actual answer took no deep thought, just the superficial (and somewhat racist and offensive) fact that Genghis Khan was also Asian. Sorry, dudes, but history is not woke. So we all Dragon walked.

    With only a minute left, team 1 took the win. Team 2 was most non-triumphant, still moseying back from their final station.

    We’ve had many excellent beatdowns, but none as bodacious as this.

    Circle OT and Goose prayed us out.

    Catch ya in the gloom,

    AB

  • Mark it, Dude. – from Honeysuckle

    Seven HIMs who were wise and would never compromise arrived to the Peltch for what was clearly going to involve the track. The only real concern for Daryl Strawberry’s or Popeye’s shoes were the warmarama and COT, so everyone carefully chose a spot and we began.

    Warmarama: SSH, Imperial Walkers, Lafayette Nightclubs, Arm Circles (F/R), Cherry Pickers, Self Love, maybe some other things

    Thang 1:

    Mosey to the track. Since the front gate was open, we entered that way and felt like we weren’t sneaking in. As the speaker wasn’t working for YHC this morning, the PAX did not have the pleasure of hearing the Greta Van Fleet (schism-worthy) playlist that was to be the background motivational music. So the first thang was done in silence, other than the heavy breathing.

    Starting at the goal line, bear crawl to the 5 yd line, run back. Do the same thing for the 10 yd line through 50 yd line. At the 5, 10, 15, … yd line turnarounds, do that number of tempo squats. At the 10, 20, 30, … yd line turnarounds, do that number of merkins. This was done to the 50 yard line. This was a challenging task and YHC thought a few times about being merciful, but ultimately no modifications were made and the PAX completed this eventually.

    Thang 2:

    Now on to something a little more fun. The overall idea for the next two thangs were to make the PAX run, but have tasks to complete to take their minds off it. Everyone received a slip of paper with five colored circles. Each PAX’s circles were in different order. Around the track were seven orange cones, five of which were covering markers. PAX had to run around the track, and checking cones to find the markers. Their circles had to be colored in the order that they appeared on the paper. If the marker was the correct color, PAX would fill in the circle. If the marker was not the correct color (or there was no marker), PAX had to do 5 burpees. Also, after you flip a cone, you had to reverse direction.

    As difficult as these instructions were to understand, they were also difficult to carry out. The 5 burpees seemed cruel so YHC did change this to 1 burpee. Eventually, Coyote and Daryl Strawberry finished, and YHC ended the game right before Goose and Pope finished. Depending on how good or bad you were at this game, you ran quite a bit.

    Thang 3:

    Since the markers were already distributed around the track, the PAX paired up and each went to a different location on the track. At the start time, the pairs would play Paper/Scissors/Rock. The loser had to do Big Boy Situps in place. The winner would use a marker to make a mark on their paper (like a passport stamp) and run to the next location. The person doing BBS would keep going until someone showed up to play them. If the BBS person completed 30 before someone showed up to play them, they could get their mark and leave. YHC does not remember the result, but it was quite a while before YHC was able to leave the initial station. That’s a lot of situps.

    Thang 4:

    Quick try again for some Greta Van Fleet (Black Smoke Rising), now using a different speaker, so we circled up and did SSH during the song and mountain climbers during the refrain. But YHC had trouble identifying the refrain. Then mosey back to the flags for COT.

    Announcements, prayer intentions, Goose prayed us out. No clothing to exchange today.

    Thanks everyone for showing up and grinding through today! It continues to be a blessing to be a part of this group!

    I heard it through the Honeysuckle vine: What’s the deal with that Olympics opening ceremony? Can we just watch sports?

    SYITG,
    Honeysuckle

  • Now Accepting New Schisms! – from Honeysuckle

    YHC arrived to Tuesday Tuff still a little in shock at what happened at the previous day’s beatdown. Because YHC wasn’t there, the goings-on were unclear based on a few cryptic GroupMe messages, but the backblast left very little to the imagination. The mood in general was upbeat, but was Paradox just putting on a brave face? Has he secretly started building a time machine (in a truck, as a Delorean was unavailable), to eventually be used to show up from the future to the 22 July 2024 beatdown to try to stop it from happening (but to ultimately show up too late due to a Go Bears stop)? Too much to process now; lets get down to business.

    Warmarama: SSH, Imperial Walkers, Windmills, Willie Mays Hayes, Arm Circles (F/R), Cherry Pickers, Mountain Climbers

    Thangs 1 & 2:

    An on-the-fly improvement combined the plan to run first and then do the exercises second, so that the run was broken up into segments. The exercises today were to be a schism in
    form. Two teams were created, and within each team half of the participants did some sort of isometric hold while the others did exercises with movement. The reps of the exercises were counted, and the goal was to get to as high of a rep count as possible before the other teammates’ isometric holds failed. Then the same thing
    is done with the roles reversed.

    Rich man’s loop was traversed with several stops covering the following exercises:

    1) Plank (iso), merkin
    2) Al Gore (iso), Bobby Hurley
    3) Boat/canoe (iso), Big Boy Situps
    4) Crab/tabletop (iso), Bonnie Blair

    This took quite a bit of time as the PAX are in pretty good shape and those iso holds lasted a while, especially the tabletop. YHC thinks that the PAX could have held them much longer if they had to, but there was a lot of compassion for the teammates struggling through the Bonnie Blairs and wondering about the grass cultivars.

    Thang 3:

    PAX ran back to the stage. Then YHC discussed a personal schism (it creeps M out) over a song whose subject matter is supernatural beings activities in a European capitol. Goose correctly guessed “Werewolves of London.” There was lots of confusion among “An American in Paris”, “An American Werewolf in London”, and “An American Werewolf in Paris” (the last of which does not exist). Other trivia was, what food is a werewolf looking for (Beef chow mein) and what drink was a werewolf observed drinking (Pina Colada). The PAX did not get these. Ultimately they were to be saved by the bell so they endured no penalty.

    While we listened to the song, PAX could choose to SSH or Hillbilly walk. During
    the howl and chorus, PAX was to do werewolves.

    YHC expected someone to note the similarity in the song with “All Summer Long” by Kid Rock, and Paradox couldn’t put his finger on the song but knew several lyrics. This was going to be part of the post-song trivia: what song was the “Werewolves of London” accused of ripping off the chord progression from (Sweet Home Alabama). And then what later song was a melding of “werewolves in London” and “Sweet Home Alabama” … the answer being “All Summer Long”.

    Announcements included the ANIMAL going from Paradox to Goose, due to Goose answering the bonus question of the line (from WIL) “I’d like to meet his tailor” sometimes being changed to mention what singer/songwriter (A: James Taylor). The Fire Within went from YHC to Popeye for a belated appreciation of forcing YHC to face his fears of doing weighted crabwalks in last week’s beatdown.

    Paradox has been hard at work with planning the Brother’s Keeper 500. Look for details soon.

    Paradox also prayed us out.

    Thank you, gentlemen, for showing up and for your effort today.

    I heard it through the Honeysuckle vine:
    Upon further reflection, “Werewolves in London” seems to capture the relationship between F3T and schisms. On the one hand, there are warnings about them and angst about what they do, but there is a clear undertone of admiration.

    SYITG,
    Honeysuckle

  • Mercy Toward Heretics – from Goose

    There is one among our company who claims to be a healer of rifts, recently those of the musical variety, while simultaneously spouting blasphemies (of the musical variety) on a very consistent basis. Feigning Homerian ignorance, this individual purposefully rubs an already musically chafed goose the wrong way at every opportunity while pretending to lead a Yankovician “Can’t we all just get along” campaign. Yes, there is, of course, a place for playful banter, but one you cross the line into blasphemous heresy, there is only one remedy. The heretic must be reformed, often violently, in order to mercifully save him from the fiery justice that such error duly deserves.

    So, today’s goal would be to straighten the bent mind and heart of the heretic via education and suffering. The topics that would be covered:
    -Who is Peter Gabriel? Are he and Phil Collins the same person?
    -Would Peter Gabriel be listed on the credits of any song on a Bieber or Lil’ John album? What about 3rd Bass?
    -Would Peter Gabriel be involved in any way in country (or western) music?
    -What songs did Peter Gabriel sing, and what impact did they have on life, the universe, and everything?

    After a robust warmup (necessary after Coyote’s flogging), we grabbed coupons and headed to the start of the new area of road, which Popeye has officially dubbed (and shall henceforth be known as) “The Stretch”. The Thang was simple. YHC would ask Paradox a question, and if he got it right, the PAX would mosey to the third set of pipes (50 or so yards away) and back. If he got it wrong, the PAX would sprint a suicide to the first, second, and third set of pipes in under 30 seconds, well…maybe a full minute…if my watch would just…hold on…ok, just friggin’ do it fast.
    After the run, a song appropriate the question would be played with corresponding exercises. As follows:

    1. What band were Peter Gabriel (PG) and Phil Collins (PC) in together before their solo careers?

    -Answer: Genesis. Dox got this one pretty quick, but YHC knew that he had pretty much maxed out his knowledge on the subject at this point, and luck would be the only thing that would save the PAX moving forward.

    Song: “That’s All” by Genesis, post PG exit: The Pax lined up and did standing lunges arm-in-arm, but on every “That’s All” each in turn left the group and did 5 star jumps on their own, solo.

    2. PG and PC went opposite directions when it came to how they approached lyrics: one used lyrics that sound deep but aren’t, while the other used lyrics that sound meaningless but are usually an effort at artistic depth. Which is which?

    -Answer: PG sounds crazy but is going for depth, while PC, ever the drummer, is just using cool sounding words that fit the rhythm. Dox got this one correct, too, which showed progress–he actually cared enough to distinguish and think through what made each musician unique. This was a good sign, but much work was clearly still needed.

    Song: “Sussudio” by PC (pure nonsense, but sounds like the beating heart of the 80’s): plank jacks, merkins on “sussudio”. YHC mercifully stopped this one a little over halfway through.

    3. Best 3/5 lyrics match–which one (PG or PC) is responsible for the following lyrics?
    1. When you told me you were drowning, I would not lend a hand…(PC)
    2. If looks could kill they probably will in games without frontiers, wear without tears (PG)
    3. Don’t you know you’ve got to shock the monkey, shock the monkey tonight (PG)
    4. And the bulge in my big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big (PG)
    5. You could have a steam train, if you just lay down your tracks (PG)

    This is where some retributive purgation took place. Just playing the odds wouldn’t work here (and they didn’t), though Popeye, or the absent AB or Honeysuckle could get these in their sleep. The heretic, though making good progress, needed to see just how far away the goal of true reformation still was. The suicide was long.

    Song: “Big Time” by PG: penguins for the duration, BBSU on “Big”

    5. What was PG’s greatest hit, his most well-known song by far, and which is still rated in top five of music videos of all time?

    Answer: Sledgehammer. YHC thought this might be a gimme, but Dox’s disregard for PG as a person and artist as well as most 80’s music in general had brought him to this lowly state. Another suicide.

    Song: “Sledgehammer” by PG: block calf raises for the duration, curls on “sledge” and for the duration of the bridge

    6. And, last but not least, what was the PG song playing from John Cusack’s famous romantic boombox scene?

    Answer: In Your Eyes. Though Dox had the movie title, “Say Anything”, the song was nowhere on the radar, so the sprinting continued.

    At this point, an elderly man involved in the road project had backed his truck in just behind the barricade, which put him about 10 feet from us. And, there he sat, in his truck with the window down, pretending not to notice 5 men sweating to the 80’s with cinder blocks hovering over their faces.

    Song: “In Your Eyes” by PG: hold blocks in bench press position, skull crusher on every “in your eyes”.

    Time ran short on us, otherwise, our friend would have enjoyed some Shock the Monkey Humpers. Next time.

    COT and Popeye prayed us out.

    Many thanks to Dox for being willing to show up just to be singled out and treated like a leper for 40 minutes, and many thanks Safety Valve and Popeye who were willing to endure his reformation treatment. (Pope didn’t have a choice.) I’d say thanks to Peter Gabriel, but his music is a little outdated.

    SYITG,
    Goose
    1. In Your Eyes: hold block press, skull crusher on in your eyes

  • Keep Thibodaux Weird – from Paradox

    YHC has been privileged to play a role in many of the storied F3 Thibodaux Schisms through the years. Sometimes as an ardent supporter, other times, ashamedly, as a lead instigator. As the great Creed Bratton once remarked “…more fun as a follower, but you make more money as a leader”. While his comment may have been referring to cultish behavior, I think the general principle applies here and I’ve now met my weekly quota of Creed quotes. And so, it’s with this schism experience that YHC feels qualified to observe the subtleties present in schism infancy. It starts at an almost undetectable level. Just a slight twitch of the eyelid during Smashmouth Allstars. Then it builds. A facial wince when you hear mainstream 90s classics and you start to avoid people that use the term “Champagne Supernova” for all the things that are great in their life. Followed by audible disdain to your cohorts about one genre/decade being more elite than another. Then, like clockwork there is a “boiling over” event. For example, no one recognizing “Lucas with the Lid Off” followed by GroupMe affirmations for the more recognizable 3rd Bass “Pop goes the Weasel” (complete random example). And just like that we are off to the races. A few laugh emojis don’t go your way and your supper doesn’t taste as sweet. You get backed into a corner and know the only way out is weapons of eardrum destruction you’ve been hiding in the dark for years, ready to lash out at moment’s notice. You dig in, readying your Spotify missiles for a lengthy war and you begin searching through old LimeWire and Napster accounts…

    But not today my brothers.

    Today, just like your optometrically prescribed headband, we will promote healing!

    But how?

    How could we thaw the frozen hearts of 90s genre elitism?

    YHC saw only one way out.

    A single artist.

    His work spanning 4 decades.

    No genre left standing in his wake.

    Today we would utilize him as an instrument of peace.

    Today..we would get WEIRD.

    Duke get your accordion and play that funky bean footage!!

    9 pax warmup of the usuals, highlighted by two late arriving ecofriendly PAX vehicles. Tanas fueled by the hard labor of rural PCPs and ABs running off his own supply of colon-to-tank methane.

    THE CONCERT THANG

    Simple and direct today.
    We would take the top 5 Weird Al hits, modify them a touch and enjoy some of the finest lyrics created in the last 40 years. YHC would sprinkle in trivia between songs.

    Correct 10 curls

    Incorrect 25 Monkey Humpers because with the trivia masterminds present you have to up the ante. These llamas play for keeps plus Pope is now 20/20 on beatdown Star Wars trivia.

    # 1 White and Nerdy
    Holding coupon Scissor Kicks , Swap on White and Nerdy , Coupon presses while holding 6 inches on song

    What famed physicist is in his library? (Hawking)
    In the song He denotes a numeral value referencing a polygon associated with this famed mathematician? (Pascal)

    10 Curls for Correct Hawking, 25 MH’s for lack of Pascal knowledge.

    #2 The Saga Begins
    Trigger on Star Wars characters and planets , and Jedi
    Around the galaxy lunges during song, Jungle Boi squat on triggers

    Which Star Wars movie specifically was Bring parodied in this song? (Phantom Menace)
    Jar Jar Binks species and home planet ? (Gungan, Naboo)
    Meaning youthful and untrained , anakin is referred by this term during his early Jedi training? (Padawan)

    # 3 Eat It
    Big Boys with Coupon , Sitting OHP on Eat It’s

    Beat it 2008 was a poorly received tribute done by this pop group ?
    Black eyed peas- Again, YHC’s error at mis labeling legumes and black eyes but the pax really needed dat lactic acid boost so we did 25 MHs.

    # 4 Amish Paradise —YHC’s personal favorite of the collection.
    Inchworm crawl out to HR Merkin during song
    Thrusters on Paradise

    The song parodied here was the #1 teach featured on the soundtrack of this 1995 movie ? (Dangerous Minds)
    Can’t you just imagine AB in his freshman dorm watching Dangerous Minds in his Jncos and chain wallet, a couple Oasis poster on wall. Life is Good!
    The teacher in this film played by whom and is nicknamed what? WHITEBREAD
    Goose was awarded partial credit for attempts at White Witch and 10 MHs were deducted.

    #5 FAT
    Squat side Kicks , Bonnie Blair’s on fat
    This parodied song was originally planned as a duet with what other royalty of 80s rock ? (Prince)
    **As the day unfolded our local investigative journo Mr. Wilford Montana unearthed an entire Prince vs MJ beef that is quite a rollercoaster including Prince trying to run over MJ in a parking lot followed by MJ calling Prince a “meanie” for the attempted vehicular manslaughter.

    We needed a recovery mosey to really smell the Nirvana and Goose needed to show King Pickleball he still has enough Sprint coverage for all the dead zones.

    Captain D’s bestowed the Animal to Valveline, noted that he rubbed some dirt on a fractured foot and posted all week.

    Valve awarded Jedediah Dawson aka Pope yet another well-deserved Fire Within for pumping out sitting OHPs while telling YHC Weird Al was too weird for his taste..hmmm…must be a Pete Gabriel guy.

    COT and Goose prayed us out

    Thanks for getting Weird with me today fellas

    POSTingSCRIPTs

    You know those safety signs in plants that denote “X number of days since the last safety incident”?

    Well, at F3 Thibodaux the peace of Weird Al led to a combined schism healing of 32 minutes before a recurrent 90s Pax villain threatened to reveal his Offspring and an Ace up his sleeve in the near future. This, in turn, stirred up at least two other delinquents who promptly started calling each other Aswads… and we were back at square one with 45 minutes of hard earned therapy down the toilet. The only course left was an apology…

    To Mr. Weird Alfred Matthew Yankovic:

    I tried your methods and found them useful but we may need a longer treatment plan to Smash these Pumpkins. Its like I’m trying to Reel in a Big Blowfish, not just a Hootie, but I’m keeping a Third Eye Blind to the mid 40’s Dinosaur Jr’s with no respect for the Pax still in the Green River of their youth.

    I’m just trying to save some Collective Souls in this Asylum but the more I fight for the Right to Party the more I realize that some of these Ricks just like to Roll and the rest of these goo goo dolls prefer to troll. Some are happy to see Dave Mathews churn, but some, well some just want strike a Matchbox 20 and watch it Burn.

    Thank you for keeping it Weird Mr. Al

    See you in the Grunge

    Dox

  • A Stroll Down Lack-of-Memory Lane (Minus the Stroll) – from Goose

    The presence of good ol’ Safety Valve has become synonymous with the F3 Thibodaux beatdown experience for months now since he decided to show up for just about everything. And, when that kind of thing happens, long-term absence of said individual has major affects not only on the the morale of the one absent but on that of the whole PAX (i.e., Y.J.). So, after hearing that Valve’s broken foot hadn’t improved much over the two-week rest period, YHC knew it was time to take matters into his own hands.

    It was time to build a beatdown that would kill four birds with one coupon:
    1. Allow Valve to fully participate without having to worry about the foot (hard to modify a mosey).
    2. Allow YJ to participate a little more fully knowing we wouldn’t be doing any major leg stuff.
    3. Come through on my vow to bring more 90’s hits that those who were in their prime during that awful decade may have erased (or claim to have erased) from their memory.
    4. Still bring the kind of challenge that these PAX show up for.

    Warmup: started with arm circles, which bent a few brains, and focused heavily on upper body and lower back (not one, but TWO Lafayette exercises).

    Thang 1: “I bet you don’t remember this one…or wish you didn’t.”

    1. “Scat Man” by Scatman John: Flutters for duration, but LBC’s during any scatting (the musical variety).
    A few remembered this one, and YHC remembered in the moment that this one may have been used at a beatdown before. Lots more LBC’s than flutters, and we were all a little dumber afterward, but nowhere near the low point of dumbness that would be achieved.

    2. “Pop Goes the Weasel” by 3rd Bass: Plank for duration, Kneel Diamonds on every “pop goes the weasel”.
    It seemed only Popeye remembered this one, and that it was an entire rap song about (bashing) one individual, Vanilla Ice, and that it also sampled a song by none other than Peter Gabriel. And, Dox wasn’t there to guess it.

    3. “Ninja Rap” by (none other than) Vanilla Ice: Bird dogs for duration, kneeling curls on “ninja”.
    Vanilla’s only other (vaguely) known hit featured in the old Ninja Turtles movie sequal, wherein rubber suited turtle dancers lit up the club with a choreographed dance to this jam. The bird dogs were similar, but different.

    4. “Hell” by Squirrel Nut Zippers: Penguins for duration, heels to heaven for the refrain.
    These guys signaled the start of the ska movement in the 90’s, which was an important movement that had lasting cultural significance. And, that many penguins is rough.

    5. “Gypsy Woman” by Crystal Waters and The Basement Boys: alternating side planks for the duration, toe-tap merkins during the droning refrain.
    This one is a remarkable 7.5 minutes of brain-numbing repetitivity. Don’t pull it up–you’ll remember it and regret it. You did it, didn’t you.

    Thang 2: Flora 1, 2, 3

    100 WW3 situps, 10 at a time, while partner does 6-in hold
    200 skull crushers (modified to 100 for time) 20 at a time while partner does X-factors
    300 shoulder shrugs (mostly didn’t get to it) 30 at a time while partner holds Al Gore
    PAX requested more ska, so Reel Big Fish was called upon followed by the man of the hour, Vanilla Ice.

    YHC wishes he’d have made more time for this one–lots of variety, and a solid muscle burner. Gypsy Woman should have probably been skipped, and been lost to the ANNALS of time (I’m sure there’s some connection to the anals of time, but I’ll let Maneater work that out along with his comfy pillow and Fire Within jammies).

    COT and Smooth prayed us out.

    It was great to have Valve back in the mix, and it’s been inspiring to see YJ work through what’s clearly a lot of pain to stay in it. Much respect to you both! And, thanks to the rest of the PAX for muscling through the playlist.

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • NOW that’s what I call Dem Commitments vol 2 – from Paradox

    YHC launched several cafeteria EH campaigns the day after a fruitful July 4 beatdown and had quite a few nibbles working well into the evening until most were derailed by a glorious late night firework show. The two FNGs that did show however, were both whales in their own right. One, a youthful man’s man of only 4 years earthly experience but clearly an old soul. He came on retreat to sleep and do man stuff and he was already full up on rest. The second is more of the Moby Dick FNG. Aged and scarred, he’s dodged EH harpoons for a decade and our own Goose serves as his personal Ahab with so many name producing stories that the list could produce its own beatdown. In the vast sea of emotional headlocks , AnyfisherQ that prepares to land FnGs of this magnitude must also consult the veterans of old for a retreat beatdown battle plan. Ole Ahab was ready and waiting. And that’s how YHC found himself on the HeartRidge lake dam at 5:27a with 2 FNGs (1 legacy plus the aforementioned white whale) 3 regulars (including the newly minted Egon) , a preloaded Goose DC beatdown (if Goose puts “dem” in a title you should be afraid) , a few psalms in his heart , anddddd a list of names for these potential FNGs.

    Duke !!
    Its retreat beatdown round 2
    Roll the footage!

    Warmup
    Standard issue in a deep gloom
    keeping cadence with crickets, bullfrogs and whiporwills.
    We got right to dat action boss.

    The below is an adaptation of Goose’s “Dem Commitments” beatdown circa March ‘23.

    Verbal, written and retinal scanner consent were obtained for copyright use.

    1. ) Individual Prayer
    Indian Run from dam to the big hill loop with drop off jumps squats

    This to represent finding the time during the day to get quiet and converse with God or just maybe to just do some squats.

    2.) Couples Prayer
    Lazy Dora – 10 reps with partner in static hold then flip flop till 100
    100 merkins (plank)
    100 Squats (al gore)
    100 flutter kicks (6 inches)

    3. ) Family prayer
    Ring of Fire taking turn with 3 burpees and IW while Johnny Cash warned us about love being a burning thing.

    4. ) Couples Dialogue
    “11’s “
    Starts with 10 Apollo Onos and 1 leg raise with “The Hill” in between. As Goose alluded this is where the real work in DC begins and it was the same for this beatdown.
    This is where the record scratched and we really got to see what the soon to be named HeMan calls “doing man stuff”.
    The hill was relentless but no match for the tenacity of our multiple surgical jointed FNG. His push through the hill and blasting through his comfort zone will be burned into my memory for a really long time.

    *editors note
    -Thibodaux Rouses reports that after this beatdown “YJ taking to random strangers in the grocery line about his poor ole back ” incidents are now down 78%

    Ya love to see it

    A well earned light mosey back to the dam for COT, prayers of gratitude and some very important naming.

    When I first met our youngest FNG he showed me a fisher price work bench along side a pillow and blanket then explained it was there so he could wake up and do the man stuff. These pure alpha characteristics earned him the moniker of HeMan. Father Royal Deuce approved and it was so.

    Our elder FNG, the aforementioned scarred whale, had a epic but non traditional naming ceremony as YHC knew Goose, who has a lifetime worth of stories with this gentleman, needed to have atleast a swing at a fine surname. So we unveiled the list pre set by his old friend :

    Chainsaw Massacre
    Lead Baloon
    Wiley Coyote
    And finally …
    ..Puzzle Face

    I can’t quite explain the level of snickering that took place during these listings ( fng included ) but when the smoke cleared Puzzle Face was the clear winner and we knew that at that same moment somewhere in La, Goose was doing the Robert Redford meme nod.

    Men, thanks for the effort this week during a jam packed retreat schedule. You are a reminder to YHC that no hill is to high , no barrier to strong when we allow God to supply our source of strength

    It’s a joy to lead ya

    SYITG
    Dox