F3 New Orleans

Tag: Lil’ Cuz

  • – from America’s Best

    A few weeks ago, YHC and a couple of other HIMs were discussing why a certain HIM (who shall remain unnamed) has not yet taken a Q. The answer from him the HIM: the bar is too damn high! YHC granted that things were out of hand. It was time to, in the words of Romanian-German new-age worldbeat musical project Enigma, return to innocence.

    But first: Warmarama

    SSH, windmills, Imperial Walkers, WMH, Toy Soldiers, Tie Fighters, Cherry Pickers, High Knees, Butt Kicks, Lafayette Night Clubs.

    Bumper mosey to pick up coupons and return for:

    Tha Thang. Just a Musical Dora.

    Partnered up, then during each song, one partner knocks out the exercise, while the other uses assigned MOT to the far sidewalk, then moseys back. Flapjack, continue. Race to get 200 reps per exercise before the song ends.

    The Songs, the Exercises, the MOT:

    1: First, Merkins, Crab Walk

    2. Seconds, V-Ups, Run a lap

    3: 3rd Stone from the Sun, Curls, Bear Crawl

    4. Positively 4th Street, Tyson Merkins, Lap

    5: A Fifth of Beethoven, American Hammers, Dragon Walk

    6: 6th Avenue Heartache, BBS, Lunge Walk

    7: Seventh Son, Wheezy Jeffersons, Crawl Bear

    8: Henry the VII, Burpees, Sprint

    It was basically impossible to get to 200 on any of these, but I felt we needed an unobtainable goal. Threw that one long Hendrix song in there just to give a glimmer of hope, and to fulfill the prophecy of “that Charlottesville hipster hookah lounge” music.

    Final Thang: Identify the songs from the beatdown. Popeye and Honeysuckle, as usual, took care of the more obscure songs. White Meat ID’d 7th Son, and Yankee Jeaux ID’d Henry VII… man those geezers know their music. (Popeye had been figuring out “Positively 4th Street” for about 2 rounds, but upon returning from his Dragon Walk he had figured it out. The man has the heart of a warrior, and the mind of a Spotify).

    3rd Stone from the Sun was the only song not identified by the PAX, so we only had to do one burpee. It was fairly obvious at this point that the songs all included ordinal numbers.

    Then just 2 minutes of Mary to get us to that sweet Sugar Mill Whistle.

    COT

    FNG became Doubtfire.

    Animal from Honeysuckle to Lil Cuz.

    Blue Tube from Wet Tap to Honeysuckle.

    Wet Tap prayed us out.

    SYITG,

    AB

  • Bs and Cs – from Safety Valve

    After yesterday’s Merkin Mania Monday by Pope, YHC felt obligated to add some solid back, bicep, and core work today. Nothing special. Just a slightly different style than usual.

    Warmaramma
    SSH
    Imperial Walkers
    Willy mays hats
    Wind mills
    Arm circles – forward and backward
    Cherry pickers
    self love

    Thang
    Partner up – AB questioned the use of partners today. Sometimes we just need people by us when we are suffering AB. I’ll be sure to get with his M on how to answer this appropriately next time.

    Buy in for each person at the stage.
    50 LBCs
    50 Hello Dolly
    50 Freddie Mercury
    50 second one inch hold

    Mosey to yonder parking lot. Each team did two stations below:

    Four stations – sand bag at each
    Bent over low rows – 60lb x 15 reps
    Lawn mower rows, single arm -35lb x 15 reps
    Curls – 40lb x15 reps
    Curls – single arm, 18 lb 3 ways – 10 full, 10 bottom to half way, 10 half way to top.

    Mosey back to stage. By this time, Creed rocking in the background was bringing Goose back to a simpler time, while AB was crying on the inside and maybe the outside. To the parking lot and back to the stage was probably close to 1/4 mile. This was true if you didn’t cheat yourself and took the proper sidewalk route… IYKYK. We ended by picking up the 6 (team Goose and Enron – maybe they did an extra set, maybe not) and sprinting back to the flag.

    COT, Fire within was given to Suckle by Pope, prayers continue for Coyote, Lil Cuz prayed us out.

  • BurpJack Horseman – from America’s Best

    YHC had a Jones. A Basketball Jones.
    But today, I would not need someone to set a pick for me at the free-throw line of life, nor someone I can pass to. No, I would not even need someone to hit the open man on the give-and-go (and not end up in the popcorn machine).
    Because today we would not really play basketball…
    Bur first… let’s go look at the new giant flagpole. And then race back. First 3 back get the first three guesses at song lyrics. Goose, Pope and Honeysuckle won Gold, Silver, and Bronze, and thus would get to try and identify a song by the lyrics. If Goose identified it on the first stanza, we would just take a lap around the CC, if Pope guessed after hearing the 2nd stanza, we would hold Al Gore and Jump Squat on each song title; if Honeysuckle got it after hearing the final stanza, we would hold plank and merkin each song title. However, since nobody identified it, we ran in place and did a Burpee every time we heard “Mmm-Bop.” And sometimes when we heard “doo-wop” or “shebop” or whatever.

    Then on past the playground to the highest court in the land. . .
    It occurred to YHC that as many times as the PAX graced the Den’s basketball arena, we had yet to play HORSE. It didn’t occur to YHC until mid-beatdown that we likely only had the time (and skill) to play PIG.
    And the rules would be: SSH while waiting for your shot. Add one burpee on a miss (upon review of my original rules, this was to be 5 merkins). After Pope filled-up (is that the opposite of “drained”?) several 3’s, it was augmented to 3-burpees if you missed a 3-pointer. Then sprint to opposite baseline and back after your shot.
    Once you were out, you stood on the sideline and did a burpee with each shot taken by anyone.
    And the action ensued! … evoking zero inspiration and even less respect.
    But we finished our pig.
    And like a porcine character from our childhood, it was some PIG.
    “Some” being vague enough that you can take it to mean “glorious” if you are optimistic, or “interesting” if you are realistic. At least It was dark.
    There were just about 10 minutes left, so YHC called an audio-daily-double audible. The only music trivia that was in my brain at the time is something I heard long ago… that a certain song was originally “You died in Vietnam” (the actual story is much longer and convoluted… see me later for a dissertation).
    Same format as the first thang, but instead of a sprint, first 3 of the PAX to hit a free-throw would guess. Getting 3/8 to hit a free-throw should be easy…
    Several minutes later we had our men. Honeysuckle, Paradox, and Popeye. None guessed correctly (although Dox’s guess of Fortunate Son wins the best educated guess), so we ran back to the flag, stopping for burpees for every “Born in the USA.”
    Back in just enough time for 1 minute of Mary, the honors were given to Goose with the disclaimer “NO DR W’s.” One minute of wife pleasers seemed just about right.
    COT
    Animal went to Pope for his prized PIG performance. 10-Year Convergence this Saturday in NOLA.
    Lil Cuz prayed us out.

  • Turn it up to 13 (by Coyote) – from Goose

      YHC hopped out of the truck on this dark and refreshingly chilly morning, the Q adrenalin pumping through my body as YHC got ready to unleash the teenage beatdown. “No more fun and games,” YHC thought. “I’m going to give them a real beatdown.” The morning started well, YHC noticing that the number of men present was the biggest that YHC had ever seen at a Coyote beatdown. Suddenly, YHC saw a large white truck roll into the rocky parking lot, and a man I had never seen at a beatdown hop out. “Dumpster Fire?!” YHC guessed. No, an FNG had come to join us! 6:30 came, and suddenly, both 
Paradox and Goose revealed the game balls, Paradox wearing the Fire Within, and Goose with the Blue-tube. We started with the classic Side-straddle-hops, Safety Valve driving in right as we stopped. The warmups ended shortly after, and YHC introduced what we were going to be doing. “For this beatdown,” YHC started, “I thought I might do everything that I hate, and one of those things is coupons!” The Pax grabbed one for each brave soul, and we moseyed over to the long-forgotten hill by the park. YHC announced, “Another thing that I hate is Dora!” We partnered up, and YHC introduced the exercises, 100 Thrusters, 150 WWIII Sit-ups, and 200 Curls, and the mode of transportation being bear-crawl over the hill, and crawl-bear back. Partners were picked, YHC partnering up with Pope, and Goose started the well-thought-out “F3 Weird Al grinder” playlist.
    The Thang commenced, Pope cranking out WWIII’s like nobody was watching. The music was very attention-getting, and when the eleven-minute song “Albuquerque” came up, all ears went to the crazy song. When the Dora was done, we dragged ourselves and the coupons over to the field by Bayou Road, and YHC presented Thang 2. Since YHC is turning 13 on Tuesday, YHC said that we would do 13’s instead of 11’s, one side starting with one 4-count Nolan Ryan, and the other side 12 Inchworm Merkins, all the while listening to Weird Al crank out his parodies. This turned out be way harder than YHC planned, the Nolan Ryans hard to count, and the Inchworm Merkins almost impossible to complete without a little modification.
    After the 13’s, YHC presented the final Thang. As much as we could, the Pax and I would try to accomplish a “Tunnel of Love” across the entire field. It failed miserably, the 2.0’s all getting launched into the air by Man-Eater. Exhausted, YHC called out for us to go back to the flag. We lugged our coupons back to the flag, and commenced with the count off, numbering an impressive 16. When the time came to name our victim, we were ready for some weird stuff. The name came out to be “Blue,” or “My boy Blue,” coming from the facts that he was in the navy for 24 years, and he felt like he had to go back to college. I owe him an apology, not meaning for this to be his first beatdown. (Hopefully we’ll see him again…) When shirts came up, Paradox gave the Fire within to YHC for an IPC level workout. (Get ready to see it hanging off my shoulders next week.) Next, Goose passed the Blue-tube to White Meat for showing us the proper way to count Nolan Ryans. Man-Eater prayed us out, and we ended with a characteristic Paradox Pic.
    Happy Birthday to all those other birthday boys, Popeye tomorrow, Jackknife, Monday, Wet tap and I Tuesday, and any others not mentioned. Until next time, God bless!
                                                                         Coyote

  • “It was a Concept Beatdown” – The AB 20th Anniversary Rolling Stone Interview – from America’s Best

    Rolling Stone: So, AB, tell us about this beatdown you just wrapped up. What was the vibe at the AO?

    America’s Best: I was equally surprised by the wealth of knowledge out there and the lack of flatulence. . . Some mornings are just magical, I guess. We started with a warmarama that felt like an opening act—like you know when you’re going to see STP but The Offspring is there first? Just trying to get through it. Safely Valve tried to be the guy who knew better but we waited for him. Some were feeding off the energy of the hype, you know? After seeing the hype, Enron knew immediately that Arcade Fire was involved, but it was unclear if he was excited, concerned, or indifferent about it. The man is a riddle in a mystery inside an enigma wrapped in a cotton Phil Collins tank-ini.

    RS: So there was at least some anticipation of what was in store for the PAX?

    AB: At least some preparation. I think Paradox was running on pure adrenaline following his all-nighter of searching the Japanese internet.

    RS : For what was he searching?

    AB: I dunno. . . Answers? All I know is by morning he had figured out the album artwork for The Funeral. And he spoke fluent Japanese. Oh, sorry, Dox: “Nihongo.”

    RS: So do you enjoy the Q spotlight?

    AB: No. It’s too much for my ADHD brain. I do enjoy the creativity– trying to make something engaging and hopefully exciting. But most times it’s more fun to be in the trenches hammering away at something ridiculous and mumblechattering about someone else’s horrific music choices.

    RS: So do you ever think about stepping away and just producing?

    AB: I feel like I have more to give. I still feel young, you know? I mean, I’ve seen some greats like Yankee Jeaux step away for awhile and come back stronger than ever. Have you ever completed a Danny Go beatdown?

    RS: No I can’t say that I have. In fact, I can’t even remotely comprehend what you’re talking about.

    AB: It makes jurpin’ to “Give It Up” feel like crab-walking to the Halo theme.

    RS: That is zero percent helpful.

    AB: I feel like you’re getting a little disrespectful. Don’t be surprised if this interview goes sideways later.

    RS: Oooookay….noted. Anyway, what was your plan for this beatdown?

    AB: It was a concept beatdown. I wanted to capture the feeling of 2004. You know, I’d just graduated, gotten married, bought a house, begun a real job. I was getting realllllly boring. I mean, we were The Incredibles for Halloween that year.

    RS: You make is sound like 2004 was the beginning of the end.

    AB: It’s the year Facebook started.

    RS: Touche.

    AB: But getting back to the concept: It was simple. Put together a playlist of hits (Yes, they were hits, Lil Cuz) from 2004 that would be our soundtrack for a two mile run. At designated times, we would stop for an exercise. 20 reps would be the starting number, and we could deduct 5 reps each for the artist, title, and album identification.

    RS: And how did that go?

    AB: Let’s just say these guys were lucky Popeye was there.

    RS: So did he carry the PAX on music knowledge?

    AB: Oh there were definitely strong contributions by Honeysuckle and Goose too. But here’s the thing about Popeye: He has never forgotten. Anything.

    RS: Anything else of note during the run?

    AB: I’m glad you asked, Chumley. Is it ok if I call you Chumley? The thing is, I thought I threw a softball out there for our manmaker station. I figured half of theses guys at least knew Eminem’s “Just Lose It.” They knew it was him, but that was it. While I did hear a few of the PAX mumbling random facts about him, nobody could identify the album or title.

    RS: After all that intensity, how did you wrap it up? And no, please don’t call me that. That’s not my name or anything. Does that mean something?

    AB: No. Anyway, we moseyed back to the flag to finish up the last of the songs lighting-round style.

    RS: And how did that go?

    AB: No idea, Chumley. At that point I was running on fumes. But I assume it was pure magic.

    RS: Ok, why did you even ask permission if you are going to keep calling me that anyway? What does it even mean? Is it like “champ” or “boss” or something? Is that from something?

    AB: Don’t worry about it.

    RS: Ok, after all that intensity, how did you wrap it up?

    AB: COT. Phil the Pain (aka Face Value) went to Popeye. Blue Tube went to Enron. Lil Cuz prayed us out.

  • Burpee, a History Volume 2: To Burpfinity and Beyond – from Paradox

    YHC has always loved a good origin story.
    Forged in radioactive slime or some gamma rays gone wrong? Sign me up. But there’s also a lot of really interesting beauty to be discovered in the story behind the routine and mundane we take for granted. Microwaves , penicillin, Velcro, HoneySuckles 2003 Garmin watch.
    All have unique backgrounds and lessons to learn. So YHC wanted to reach back into the F3 history lessons and attempt to give the pax some appreciation for our old friend …the burpee.

    3 objectives today for 8 pax at the Lions Dirt Patch.

    Objective 1:
    A safety PSA for the burpee.

    One of YHCs annual duties as assistant to the regional manager of beatdown safety is a yearly PSA on burpee form. Especially pertinent during IPC.

    See works cited volume 1:

    Burpee: A History – from Paradox

    Okay, for the Yankee Jeauxs out there just sit back down and sip your Ensure …I know you smell the hypocrisy here that the leader in poor form can’t lead a beatdown about proper form but hey F3 is all about improvement ok.

    Objective 2.)
    Honor Mr Burpee and share his story.

    Objective 3.)
    Explore the millions of burpee variations and honor other accidental inventions and origin mishaps along the way .
    We want to be safe but we also want to push the boundaries of our physical limits so that maybe one day our children can say “oh the kraken burpee, my dad used to do those while his friends talked about omelette PTSD”

    Duke !
    Get the footage and Crank the fan servicing.
    It’s a franchise remake !

    Warmup
    Started with the Valve Challenge : SSH until he shows up. Today we made it till about 45. Must have been a slow call night. Plan was to go till 100 or till Lil cuz asked for Goose to distract us with LOTR voices,

    Indian Run w Dropoff for 3 Bobby Hurley with a nod to National pirate day and well I really don’t need an excuse to blare sea shanties.(one of the few musical masterpieces Goose and YHC agree on)
    AB took this time to invent the portmanteau “pirish” and spent the remaining beatdown trying to make it happen and securing ground floor investors.

    Thang 1
    First , the safety.

    Royal Huddleston Burpee was born in 1897 in NY. He joined the Navy during the beginning of World War 1 and while aboard a navy ship for several months developed a knack for creating challenging body weight exercises one could accomplish in small spaces.
    He loved efficiency , good form and pushing his body to its limits.

    To fully commemorate Royals Naval service we enjoyed
    “Drunken Sailor”
    With plank and merks on “Way Up “and “drunken sailor”

    We were left with a warm feeling in our chest and many non OSHA approved options on how to handle a drunken sailor.

    After his service Mr Burpee became Dr Burpee by attaining his PhD in exercise physiology at Columbia University. His particular field of focus was utilizing simple body movements in a sequence to help the military improve its physical fitness screening.

    So we deconstructed his original fitness test in 7s to help bring home the safe execution of the standard burp.

    7 hand to ground Squats
    14 Groiners
    21 Merk
    28 squat jumps

    With the safety and the history covered we segued into the future of the burpee and its millions of variations with “Peaches” by the Goosey Burpapalooza headliners : Presidents of the US of A.

    *YHC took this intermission to unveil Blue Tube 2.0, the newly modified wearable to make that special conversation with your M a little less awkward.

    Final Thang

    So despite beginning as a simple fitness test, the burpee was now a universally known, highly efficient, highly effective way to improve your cardio and with that super stardom came many variations.
    We would scratch the surface of a few F3 favorites while honoring other non intentional invention’s.

    Burp Trivia
    Correct 4 Reps
    Incorrect 8 reps

    1.) double merkins burpee

    1930 – Ruth Wakefield ran out of bakers chocalate and needed to use Nestle chips for her guests in her Inn, thereby inventing chocolate chip cookies .
    What was the name of the inn?
    (Tollhouse)

    Bearpee

    2.) late 19th century two brothers preparing food for a health spa accidentally left dough out , after its fermentation they sent it through rollers creating large crispy flakes .
    What are the brothers last name?
    (Kellog)

    Double Jump Burpee

    3.) 1943 attending to create a rubber substitute, General Electric engineer James Wright dropped boric acid into silicone oil. What did he create?
    (Silly putty)

    BroPees

    4.) 3M scientist Art Fry
    , frustrated by loose papers in his hymnals at choir practice met white other chemist ti produce what product.

    (Post it notes)

    Kraken Burpee

    5.) created to fill a need for cleaning soot from wallpaper this colored combination of salt, flour and water became what?
    (Play Doh)

    Notes:

    – Switching it up mid burpees and calling Honeysuckle “honey” felt like being in elementary school when you called the teacher “mom” on accident and had to talk to your parents about witness protection.
    – YHC thought these were atleast mildly difficult trivia and the pax gobbled them up like Kobyashi at the Nathan’s. Studs.
    – Several questions were answered almost in unison with Goose and White Meat sprinkling in early confidence. AB waiting in the bullpen like Rivera in the 9th but we never even had to call for the sandman to enter. Oh well , not everyone appreciates Nirvana.

    A few min left at the flag and as always any Burpee history lesson ends with a good tub thumping with Ole Danny Boy !!! We got knocked down , got back up and all were better for it.

    Honeysuckle bequeathed TFW to White Meat for his consistent meatiness this week.

    YHC awarded Blue Tube to Lil Cuz for his timely cardiovascular queries.

    COT
    -Sign up for the BK500 – September 28th
    -Culture Fest 5k – Oct 5
    -Prayers, support for Valve 2.0
    -Barney Fife surgery

    Uncle Ronnie Prayed us out

    Thanks for your effort men
    It’s a joy to lead ya.

    Dox Thumping

    We sing the songs that remind us of the good times (Taco Bell and Pizza Hut?)

    We sing the songs that remind us of the better times (Sandstorm?)

    We drink a whiskey drink
    We drink a vodka drink
    We eat Jimmy John
    We eat a Jersey Mike

    At the end of the day, the truth is I thought music mattered .

    heck I even thought burpees mattered..

    But does it?

    Bollocks!

    Good form or not

    We get knocked down
    We get back up again

    SYITG

    Dox

  • The (probably not historically accurate) Last Indiana Jones Movie you should Watch – from America’s Best

    YHC arrived (almost) last, just in time for
    Warmarama:
    SSH
    And of course, having finished SSH, here comes the straggler… wait… Honeysuckle?
    Apparently Safety Valve inspires us all in some way or another.
    On to the rest: Windmills,
    The arm bundle: Lafayette Night Clubs, arm circles both ways, cherry pickers
    Mountain Climbers
    Then YHC handed the PAX off to Pope to lead a quick mosey while I grabbed my props.

    Thang One: The Breath of God
    “Only the penitent man shall pass”
    The penitent man is humble, kneels before God. As Indy knelt when the breeze blew through the cave, so would we.
    The theoretical plan: Lunge walk back and forth across the field, and each time there is a breeze, we would do one genuflection.
    The modified plan: Because we live in the doldrums here with no breezes, something else would have to substitute. Taking a page from Smooth Operator, each vehicle that passed would qualify as our breeze.
    That made sense when YHC came up with it last week, as there was no hurricane coming. The coming storm actually gave a bit of a breeze this morning. More importantly, it brought lots more traffic.
    Perfect.
    Oh, also “Listen Like Thieves” by Inxs on the W-King. Also genuflect when you hear “knees.”

    Thang Two: The Name of God. But not really the Name of God. More Like Kinda Like a Name that Got Made into a Name that Some People Might Consider a Moniker of God?
    Ok get ready. Please be patient as your blast goes off on a historical and semantic tangent. . .
    In the film, “the name of God” is said to be “Jehovah” (spelled with an I instead of a J), but apparently this is only an artificial Latinized rendering of the name of God. Some Christians in the Middle Ages combined the consonants in YHWH and the vowels of Adonai (“My Lord”) and somehow came up with Jehovah. Thanks to Goosapedia for this and don’t forget to donate now.
    Sooooo… although technically not correct, this name was created by Christians in the Middle Ages, which according to the film is when the Knights Templar set up this whole thing… I don’t know, but anyway it starts with an “I” also and let’s get back to the Thang here…
    We did 50 Jackhammers to get the letter J out of our system, then ran a Dora-mod for the rest of “Iehova” which at face value was the word Indiana Jones spelled out on the path in the movie.
    I = 100 Imperial Squat Walkers, 100
    E= 150 “El Valvinos” which I decided were SSH. Much less controversial name change here.
    H= 200 Hand Release Merkins
    O= 150 Oh nos (changed to 1=1 mid-stream due to time)
    V= 100 V-ups
    A= 50 Absolutions, but time was called on this first, so that we could get to

    Thang Three: “Only in the leap from the Lion’s Head will he prove his worth.”
    It’s a leap of faith. Something we’ve all taken at some point. It typically results in a stronger faith when you are done. So we took several leaps, having faith that we could do what our bodies said we couldn’t. Which was Broad Jump Burpees to the opposite sidewalk and back. Right about the time Goose and Pope got there, a gracious Q called “recover” and we headed to

    The Final Thang: The Grail Room
    Upon the stage were set several items we associate with F3: A coupon, a ticket, a cone, a pair of gloves, and a coffee thermos. Under each was written an exercise.
    The instructions: Choose one. The first chosen, we will do 40 of whatever is written under it. For the second chosen, we will do 30, then 20, 10, 5.
    Safety Valve volunteered to choose first. And he chose… poorly. But it was perfect. Choosing the false grail, aka the coffee thermos, he gave us Burpees, and 40 would be the number… unless someone could identify the theme of the songs today, in which case I would cut the numbers in half.
    No one could, so we set to burpin’ while YHC prodded the PAX to think, think! (I didn’t want to do 40 burpees). The PAX recounted the songs… Listen Like Thieves… Electric Feel… Brown Sugar… Smells like Teen Spirit… Double Vision…
    Suddenly it clicked (I think with a few, but I heard Goose first) and we reduced our number to 20. Next pick was the ticket, so we did 15 BBS, then several questioned whether the speaker was in play, to which YHC only said “choose wisely.” Of course no one chose the speaker, since it was in the middle of the circle, but that was the final test. Of course under The Wu of Kings it simply said, “You have chosen… wisely.” And that would have been the end.
    But it was time, so it was the end anyway.

    COT
    YHC was humbled as both The Fire within and the BluTube were bestowed upon him. Enron prayed us out.

    Thanks for coming out men. Always an honor to lead.

    SYITG,

    AB

  • Neuron Expanding Recreational Fun – from Paradox

    YHC has always been fascinated by what the human body can do under extreme pressure. YHC recently listened to a podcast interview of Cole Hocker, and he described basically blacking out on the last leg of his crazy gold medal 1500m finish. WILD right? But it got me to thanking. What could our “slightly less than gold medal track athlete” pax perform when given the right pressure.

    Early this year, AB introduced a paradigm shifting beatdown based on the fact that everyone knows an unhealthy amount of information about at least 1 or 2 topics. Sometimes, ashamedly so. It hooked several pax into the Learned Llama multiverse you see today plus introduced a new wrinkle to an already strong group of exercise/trivia pioneers. YHC has been tinkering with alternate versions of it since and below is the result.

    So here’s how the game works.
    YHC names an exercise for each round then Pax will Hold Al Gore around an ominous coupon pile.

    YHC will then name a list of words one by one with a few seconds in between for thanking.

    Your goal is to name the common factor of the list as fast as possible.
    You will get one shot per pax , if you are incorrect you will start SSH (later ti be converted to burps) until the round is over.
    If correct then we will stop on that round and do the corresponding reps (after 1 -10 reps , 2-20 etc)

    Example

    Brown (10) ….Black(20) …paddington (30) Polar (40) … Grizzly (50) … all bears and you have an increasing chance at getting the correct association but as options increase so do the reps.

    Duke!
    Glove up, summers over and we got some iron to sharpen!

    Standard warmup with that big Pax energy when several cars roll up at once that makes YHC all warm and fuzzy inside.

    We started where the Bible begins and most friendships end…with the members of Genesis.

    1.) Tony Banks
    2.) Mike Rutherford
    3.) Phil Collins
    4.) Peter Gabriel

    Early guesses at drummers but we went 30 Reps and there were grumbles that sounded an a lot like Sussidio.

    National Parks (Star Jumps)
    1. Teddy Roosevelt
    2. Glacier
    3. Arches
    4. Grand Canyon
    5. Yosemite

    AB flashing his generational trivia talent and we took 20 reps.

    Army Bases w “Fort” at the beginning (HR Merkins)

    1.) Campbell
    2.) Carson
    3.) Detrick
    4.) Bragg
    5.) Hood

    Had this loaded for Pop and he didn’t dissapoint with the early answer for 20 reps.

    Speed Skaters (Bonnie Blair’s )
    1.) johan olav Koss
    2.) Eric Heiden
    3.) JR Celski
    4.) Apollo Ohno
    5.) Bonnie Blair

    This one went deep for 40

    Pokémon (Coupon Curls )

    1.) Spearow
    2.) Pidgey
    3.) Weedle
    4.) Charizard
    5.) Pikachu

    Lil Cuz with the performance of the day. He blamed his 2.0 toy pile but we all know he’s got dat Arcanine in him.

    Satellites (Goblet Squats )
    1.) Terra
    2.) Aqua
    3.) LandSat8
    4.) Explorer 1
    5.) Sputnik

    40 Reps
    Not a peep from our resident beekeeper.
    The man just likes others to improve I guess.

    GI Joe (Ranger Merkins)
    1.) Roadblock
    2.) Shipwreck
    3.) Zartan
    4.) Duke
    5.) Snake Eyes

    30 reps
    Knowing is half the battle.
    Ranger Merkins are the rest.

    Members of *NSYNC (Apollo Ohnos)
    1.) Chris
    2.) Joey
    3.) JC
    4.) Lance
    5.) Justin

    TANA!!!!
    From the rafters the Peoples Rep saved the pax from atleast 20 extra Ohnos until we got to JT.

    Vice Presidents (box jumps)
    1.) James S Sherman
    2.) Levi P Morton
    3.) elbridge Gerry
    4.) John C Calhoun
    5.) dick Cheney

    40 box jumps were contended by pope who reported a whispered correct answer so we split the difference and did 25. Complex numbers are my thing.

    Triple Crown Winners (Carolina Dry Dox)

    1.) Omaha
    2.) Gallant Fox
    3.) Seattle Slew
    4.) American Pharoah
    5.) Secretariat

    30 Reps as Maneater started to heat up.

    CMM (Thrusters)
    1.) Birdman
    2.) Turk
    3.) BG
    4.) Manny Fresh
    5.) Lil Wayne

    Maneater again
    He’s On Fire!

    Heisman trophy winners ( Merkins )
    1.) Jay Berwanger
    2.) Billy Sims
    3.) Steve Spurrier
    4.) Desmond Howard
    5.) Tim Tebow

    A few chuckles at Wanger but then HS got down to business and ID’d spurrier as a champion.
    30 reps.

    Bankrupt Companies
    (Decline Merkins)

    1.) pacific gas and electric company
    2.) Washington mutual
    3.) Silicon Valley Bank
    4.) Lehman brothers
    5.) Enron

    30 reps as mutiple pax supplied this one.

    DDay Beaches – WW3 sit-ups

    1.) Sword
    2.) Gold
    3.) Juno
    4.) Utah
    5.) Omaha

    Pope/Pop are a force of military history to be reckoned with.

    Van Gohg paintings (Thrusters)
    1.) The potato eaters
    2.) almond blossoms
    3.) cafe terrace at night
    4.) self portrait w bandaged ear
    5.) starry night

    40 Reps to finish us out but these larks were saved by the bell.

    COT and Prayer intentions
    HS prayed us out

    Amazing seeing the collective pax mind under pressure. The hidden talents of this group never cease to amaze YHC.

    Thanks for the privilege to lead.

    -A Dox of Chocolates

    Imagine you are one of 86 billion brain cells. All with important tasks for sending and receiving messages at 100 meters/second. The capability to solve complex formulas, write ballads , or serve your fellow man awaits at a moments notice. Butttt instead you only get one assignment. Just once in 40 years you will be asked to associate the memory of two random NSYNC band members and It will save many men from coupon thruster destruction.

    “Bye, bye, bye” you whisper when the job is complete, then you return to brain cell retirement singing Kokomo at random intervals.

    No Neuron left behind.
    But leave no Neuron where you found him.

    SYITG
    Dox

  • Bringing Force to the Balance – from America’s Best

    YHC almost fell into the shower the other day. The strength and balance to not fall on my face was attributed to F3, and so YHC decided to focus on balance for this beatdown.

    Warmarama preceded by a half-fast disclaimer for the FNG.
    SSH, Windmills, Imperial Walkers, arm circles, mountain climbers, cherry pickers, self love, not in this order.

    Thang Number One: Modified Dora

    150 coupon curls while partner bear-crawls out and moseys back. Each time a partner begins the curls, however, he must first do 4 standing on the left leg, then 4 on the right leg.

    150 Prime-Time Merkins, as the partner murder-bunnies out and rifle carries back. All of the merkins should have been alternating feet, but some of the PAX proved themselves Not-Ready-for-Prime-Time Players and only did the first 8 as such.

    250 Air Squats, again with the first 8 on one leg only. Partner takes a lap.

    As punishment for merkin malfeasance, the PAX took a quick mosey/nur before:

    Thang Number Two: Balancing Bedlam–>Joe Cocker–>Wreck it Ralph

    PAX circles two bricks. One man balances one foot on a brick in the center, leaning over to pick up a second brick, then puts it back. During this, the remaining PAX in the circle are holding Mission Impossible. Every time the man on the brick touches the ground, all do a Ranger Merkin.
    (Change the middle man each time, alternating in Al Gore with Bobby Hurleys, and standard plank with standard merkins. Repeato.)

    During each round, about one minute of a song plays, and once that minute is up, the PAX guess the year it was released. The difference between their guess and the actual year is the number of Burpees we all get to do. [EDIT: In an effort to further game-ify (confuse), YHC decided that we would also subtract the number of times the man in the middle picked up the brick, then use the absolute value of that for our number of Burpees. This led to absolutely no strategic changes, as everyone still tried to pick up the brick as many times as possible. These guys are competitive!]
    A second trivia element was also woven in, as all the songs had a common theme. Guess that theme, and we would cut the number of Burpees in half (wrong answers would double them). Maneater provided the correct answer (bands have color in the name) around round 4, but since it was AFTER we had done the burpees for that round, YHC ignored it until the next round.
    Takeaways: As expected, Honeysuckle’s internal gyroscope was activated and he demonstrated the greatest balance. Enron kept his balance surprisingly well, and provided an uncanny Joe Cocker impression when he did fall. The PAX in general did very well on guessing year, but it didn’t matter, because math.
    YHC was undisputedly the worst at balancing, going full Mario and breaking the brick, signifying the end of the beatdown.

    COT
    In spite of avoiding eye contact with Goose, Wet Tap earned the Blue Tube.
    FNG became ShamWow.
    Safety Valve Prayed us out.

    SYITG,

    AB

  • Life to the MAX – from Paradox

    Facts only:

    It would be super duper to have an FNG visit from Poland.

    And if that FNG posted every day on his vacation, pretty Rad as well.

    Could we name him after a nerd scientist with big BIG ideas .
    For certain.

    But What if I told you (switch to Morpheus voice )
    What If I told you, that an FNG from Poland closely connected to one of our own posted all week long through ridiculous IPC preps with a huge smile on his face ?

    And I hope now that you are nice and lathered up and your Garmin is recording …because what if one of those same days was actually a feast day for one of the greatest Polish Saints in history ?!

    These were the facts in Aug 15 2024 and 10 pax were present at the Den to share the labor.

    Grab that red pill and come on in!

    Duke! Get the Coups
    It’s IPC prepppp

    FACTS:
    St Max Kolbe was a Catholic polish priest who lived from 1894 to 1941.
    Known as the Saint of Aushwitz
    He died on August 14 1941 volunteering to exchange his life for another prisoner.

    Those are the facts for this beatdown men.
    I’ll spare the usual dox fluff (just this once) and encourage you to dig more on this Saints incredible life of sacrifice.

    Each round :
    Reps : 10, 9, 8 …etc to 1
    MOT in between varies

    We kept it simple
    Each round for a rule of life for St Kolbe.

    1. Devotion to our lady at an early age

    Purity – no cheat merkins
    MOT bearcrawl

    2.) Take care of your body in order for our body’s to better be able to glorify and serve God and others.

    **As a Friar- he founded one of the largest Franciscan orders of his age
    Devoted to exercise he was diligent about starting the day with mutiple rounds of jumping jacks. Seems like a man who loved SSHs and being in time. YHC wishes he had more neighbors like this …

    SSH and Karaoke

    3.) Worked hard to spread the gospel by all means necessary
    Radio, magazine , theater etc

    Coupon Squats and coupon Lunges

    All of a sudden you could hear every cricket at the Den

    4.) We need strong men trained in the faith.
    Militia Immaculate
    Rifle Carry and Overhead Press

    5.) We have a mission to Carry Faith Abroad-
    Setup community in Nagasaki
    Burpees and Broad Jumps

    6.) Growth toward Ultimate Sacrifice

    53 merkins for 53 years that Franciszek Gawoniczek lived after St Kolbe gave up his life for him.

    COT and tremendous gratitude to Copernicus for showing up all week. Thank you for sharing your story and the suffering with us. We hope you made it through customs with all that F3 swag.

    St Kolbe , pray for us !

    SYITG
    Dox