F3 New Orleans

Tag: MASH

  • Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?

    11 Pax posted for our Saturday beat-down.

    I hate burpees, so we knocked out the big rocks first:

    10 burpees, 9 burpees, 8 burpee,…. etc and on with the pattern continuing down until there was nothing left and then we finished off with another.. 10 burpees.

    Then we did short a short mosey to go warm up.

    • Side straddle hop (20x)
    • arm circles
    • imperial walkers
    • hillbillies
    • peter parkers
    • plank (1 minute)

    Then a short mosey over to an animal planet:

    • bear crawl (approx 15 yards out and then back)
    • crab walk
    • spider-man crawl
    • bear again

    Another short mosey:

    We reflected on a conversation from Alice in Wonderland:

    Alice: `Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?’
    `That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,’ said the Cat.
    `I don’t much care where–‘ said Alice.
    `Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,’ said the Cat.

    We tied this in to our purpose for where we are going with family, community, career, and more relevantly – how we can reflect on our direction in and purpose on this workout to strengthen our bodies to do more of God wants us to do.

    We put this practice with a round of Merkin Tabata

    Then to help us push through limits… we reflected on this recent article from the WSJ: The Mental Tricks of Athletic Endurance

    Another round of Tabata but this time all 4 minutes were mountain climber.

    Short mosey over to do a partner wheelbarrow out and back about 20 yards – 2x

    Mosey back toward the flag. We slowed it down along the way with about 30 yards of Zombie walkers.

    Final COP of abs:

    8 more minutes of tabata with flutter kicks, american hammers and hello dollies mixed in.

     

    And.. we closed out with Roxanne.

     

  • The Mande Monkey-Humpers

    Our regularly scheduled Saturday foreplay became irregular this morning, with both Shooter and Bushwacker respecting the time a little too much, misremembering the start time as 0600 rather than 0610.  A bewildered Tanked Up watched from his car as PAX would randomly show up and take off in different directions.  This “respecting the time” would become a bit of a theme for Bushwacker, who kept an especially strict eye on his watch for the entirety of today’s beatdown.

    Warm-Up:  SSH, Seal Jacks, IC x 25 / 10 8-Count Bodybuilders / Windmills, IW’s, Hillbillies, IC x 15 / 10 8-Count Bodybuilders / Mountain Climbers, IC x50.

    The Thang:

    First stop this morning would be the gazebo for a COP.  Everybody grab your ankles and hold, while each PAX does 10 monkey humpers, rotating around the circle.  x2.  T-Claps to Chewy who, as usual, demonstrated perfect form.  (No one asked if this came from excessive practice.)  Around this time a drone began circling overhead, presumably sent by Captain Sparkles to get some aerial footage of the PAX for F3 Nation’s front page.  What could be better advertisement for F3 than a group of monkey-humping PAX?  Move over, Milkshakers!

    Next up, derkin wave.  Tank, being the indomitable beast that he is, suggested 10 derks per man while PAX holds declined plank, so we got to it.  After one round, YHC felt we still had a little left in the tank, pun intended, so we rotated once more with a single derkin per man.

    Final gazebo wave was an Al Gore hold while each man performed 10 squat jumps.  Quick 10 count and onward to the sloppy field for….

    BOMBS!  Partner up, P1 runs to the previously-coined “headless penis” and back to relieve P2, who began the work of accumulating the following totals: 50x Burpees, 100x Overhead Claps, 150x Merkins, 200x Big-boy Sit-ups, 250x Squats.  At this point, the Wacker, who was a thorn in my side throughout the beatdown, gave his own disclaimer: sit-ups are not good for you, military institutions have abandoned them, yada-yada-yada.  YHC briefly toyed with the idea of increasing the sit-up total, but our resident physical therapist stepped up, explaining how to use slower, more controlled movements to decrease the chances of injury, and so the attempted mutiny was quashed.  Modify if necessary, people.

    This one took a bit longer than expected, with all the running back and forth adding a decent chunk to our RRR totals, and so we didn’t have much time to do the planned third pearl of this morning’s beatdown.  However, despite Bushwacker’s increasingly desperate pleas to turn back, YHC figured we could at least complete part one of that pearl.

    So, keep your partners, and mosey onward to the far side of the bridge.  P1 performs 4×4’s (burpees with 4 merkins, and 4 mountain climbers per leg), while P2 bear crawls forward down and backwards back up the bridge.  Flapjack.

    Finally, pull Bushwacker off the ledge (literally, of the bridge), and mosey back to the flag to find Turtle, looking way too clean in a sparkling white t-shirt.  With Turtle jeering us on: Leg Raises, IC x20, Putins IC x 20, and… “Lob Lollies,” IC x 15.

    Countdown, nameorama, and Manny prayed us out.  Onward to the coffetería, where it should be noted that our faithful barista, who has put up with both the smell and disorderly conduct of the PAX for well over a year of Saturdays, is finally moving on to better things.  We wish him luck (and better tippers).

    Thanks PAX, I had a great time this morning – always appreciate the opportunity to lead you men!

  • Krazy Ivan 2018

    The events depicted in this Backblast are completely stupid and utterly pointless.  Any similarity to events which are neither stupid nor pointless is purely coincidental.  

    No animals were harmed in the running of the Krazy Ivan.

    The Inagural Northshore Krazy Ivan CSAUP went off as planned, sort of.  The Northshore won, the Southshore whined, and it was….warm??!!??  The lack of frigid conditions made for a slightly less stupid but still rather pointless event.  Next year, we will aim higher.  Without further ado…

    Twenty men gathered at the gazebo on the Mandeville lakefront on a beautiful, starry, breezy Saturday evening: 15 Northshore PAX, 1 Northshore Scorekeeper, and 4 Southshore PAX.  Lots of mumble chatter, a bit of trash talk, and some ogling at the Freedom Hammer ensued.  Somewhere around 2100, as the PAX waited for Triple Shift to open the needle valve to bleed some pressure (a little oilfield lingo, there), THE Manny rung the bovine bell.  Some quick instructions from YHC, including a warning of low visibility, potentially questionable footing, an offer of flashlights (offer summarily rejected), and the PAX gathered at the starting line.  Hawg mumbled something about the Gnarly Nutria always beginning on time.  Uh huh.

     

    With another ringing of the bovine bell, THE Manny released the hounds.  Turbo, Backdraft, Steve and all the other skinny dudes went out guns blazing.  Out and back to the west end seawall x 3 was the course.  The easterly breeze made for a nice tailwind on the way out that was as appreciated as was the equal and opposite headwind was loathed on the way back.  That is, unless you were Triple Shift.  You see, Triple Shift had a strategy, folks: get right on the heals of a really good looking, husky PAX and run in his ample slipstream the entire race, save for the last 50 yards when you turn on the reserves and blast past him.  So if you think about it, Triple owes YHC one of his points.  But more on the (contested) scoring later.

     

    The course was dark, sometimes nearly pitch black.  Although Orian’s belt and the waxing crescent were quite visible, the running path was at times not.  As 19 PAX trekked and traversed back and forth, forth and back, we passed those both ahead and behind us, those who lapped and those who got lapped.  This afforded the PAX opportunity to root for, hiss at, tease, encourage, or mock those we were passing.  I can speak for Triple, as he was behind me the entire time benefitting from all my hard work I mean seriously did I mention that already I mean it’s not a big deal that he got one more point than I did but really when you think about it I should at least be added to his Christmas card list but whatever I’m not bitter or anything.  Particular attentiveness and night vision skills were needed to navigate the last two tenths of the west end.  YHC had specifically warned the PAX about this risky, questionable section of the course.  So it’s a good thing that YHC himself did not take a tumble and nearly bust his ass on the exact part of the course on which the warning was issued.  That would be ironic.  Dontcha think.

    At the finish line, the PAX again gathered and coalesced.  Fracsac volunteered for Safety Caboose, finishing up the race and also ensuring that no man was left behind, injured, abducted, or absconded with.  Thanks Frac.  THE Manny tallied up the score and announced a 176-31 Northshore victory; looks of mistrust appeared on a few faces.  Perhaps that was because they were expecting a 177-31 loss.  But, abiding by the only rule of the Krazy Ivan – run the race in a tank top – THE Manny exercised legislative, judicial, and executive powers and stripped Turtle of his single point for finishing the race in a hooded sweatshirt.  Coutoramma, Nameorama, BOM, and off to The Barley Oak for some F2.

    At the BO, drinks were had an all was merry.  Tomatoes tested the neck twisting and head turning capabilities of Captain Sparkles (ok, his were not the only capabilities tested…hellLLOOO black dress).  An impromptu yet formal meeting of the F3 Rules Committee adjudicated on the ability to move an AO once it is established.  Verdict: negative ghost rider, pattern’s full brah.  At this point, Hawg petitioned the Rules Committee for a formal, third party review and calculation of the night’s score.  THE Manny’s honour in question, YHC immediately began the process.  Third party results are in, proving that you should sometimes watch what you ask for.  The final, certified, verified, bonafied count is 190-35.

     

    Excellent CSAUP, PAX.  T-Claps to the Southshore guys who posted.  We will see you at the 2018 Gnarley Nutria.  A pleasure to be amongst you.

     

    EiEi

  • A Mild Morning at the Mothership

    T-Claps to Butt Splice for continuing to bring out the FNG’s – producing not one, but two on this balmy 41° morning.  And in turn, t-claps to FNG The Clap for convincing fellow FNG Phooey that he was attending some sort of outdoor bible study group in workout clothes.  Hey, whatever it takes.

    Now you know that things have warmed up around here when everyone goes back to ordering iced coffees at coffeteria.  The cold front that brought temperatures down to a record 16° at The Gipper on Wednesday have hardened our PAX, and typical winter Louisiana weather now seems downright cozy.  So off with the knit caps and the Driving Miss Daisy gloves (Tanked Up!), and down to business:

    Warm Up: SSH, Seal Jacks, Windmills, IW’s, Good Mornings, Mummy Kicks, High Knees, Butt Kicks. Then mosey East to circle up for…

    COP: Holding plank, the PAX performed: Mountain Climbers, Peter Parkers, MC’s, Shoulder Taps, MC’s, all 20x IC, followed by 10x Merkins OYO.  Quick rest, before:

    Round 2: MC’s, Parker Peters, MC’s, Plank Jacks, 20x IC, followed by 20x Merkins OYO.  Recover and mosey to the Lakefront Playground for….

    Partner Routine 1: P1 does 20x Big Boy Sit-ups followed by 20x Merkins continuously while…

    P2 starts at Pad 1 with 20x LBC’s, then crab walks to Pad 2 for 20x Plank Jacks, bear crawls to Pad 3 for 20x Squat Jumps, then bunny hops to the start.  Partners flapjack until each has done 3 rounds.

    Partner Routine 2: P1 does Lt. Dans down the stretch, sprints back, while P2 does Burpees.  Switcheroo.  If you need instructions on the lunge-to-squat ratio for Lt. Dans, ask Maverick, I think he went to a fancy New Orleans school.  And if you need to know why shots of Cuervo the night before an F3 workout might not be a great idea, ask Phooey.  (Though to his credit, he was unaware of what he was getting into this morning, and was somehow able to finish without splashing merlot.  An impressive feat.)

    Then a Double Applesauce Bataan Death March back to the flag for…

    Mary: Putins 25x IC, Leg Raises 15x IC, Crunchy Frogs 12x IC.

    Countdown, nameorama, naming of the FNG’s, and…. hey, who shows up, but EiEi – just in time for free coffee and to plug his event, The Krazy Ivan.  Tanked Up sent us out to coffeteria with a great prayer.   Thanks gents for a great start to the weekend, it’s always a pleasure to lead this group.  And hey, wash your tank tops, dust off that ushanka, do what you need to do, but whatever you do – show up tonight.  The Ivan is finally here and our honor rests in your hands.