F3 New Orleans

Tag: Ocho

  • Rollin’ Dice in da Rain (Gambleholics Anonymous)

    So Much for the ch4 forecast last night saying that the rain would be out of here by 5am and we would only get about 1/2 an inch! Fortunately, it settled to a light drizzle by the stroke of 6:30am. (not so much for our southshore bretheren)

    But the 1st rule of Gambleholics Anonymous is to show up…I suppose. And so 4 brave PAX indeed did just that. Calling a rain-induced audible to the planned strategy for YHC’s clandestine beatdown, we opened with a little warm-o-rama consisting of 20x each:

    Toe Touches

    Windmills

    SSH

    Imperial Walkers

    High Knees

    After an unusually brief mosey we commenced with a dice-rolling, knowledge-testing, beatdown of fun, ass-whoopin dimensions! And speaking of brief, for those who did not claim victory over the dry fart sack and the torrential weather that southern Louisiana was presented with this gloom, this is all of this sure-to-reappear beatdown  you have access to at this point.

    After returning from whence we came, we closed out with Mary consisting of 20x:

    Freddy Flutters

    Crunchy Frogs

    100s

    Count, Name , Prayer

    2 year convergence next saturday, sure to be an adventure not to be missed. Bring your bike if you can/have one

    Many thanks to the PAX who posted and endured the beta test if YHCs lead today. For those who didn’t…you’ll get your chance soon – I pinky promise!

  • THE RISE OF THE REAL AQUAMAN

    Yes it’s true, Turtle fartsacked his Q…
    Not that YHC wants to call attention to him or shame him or remind him of it in any way; YHC is too compassionate…

    Once the PAX stopped looking for every pair of headlights to turn in and just accepted the fact that the Q had forsaken them, the arrangement of Red Robin responsibility was designated to the 3 senior most PAX members; excluding the FNG there. SHOOTER started off the warmup:

    Side Straddle Hops IC x25
    Windmills IC x25
    Mummy Kicks IC x25
    Arm Circles IC x25 (both directions first pair small circles, then a pair of big circles)

    Then the PAX mozied (sp?) to the all-too-familiar tunnel that always ends up turning into a mausoleum where the drained souls go.

    PELICAN then led the Elevenses workout:

    11 rounds, merkins start at 10 and run through the tunnel to the other side to start with 1 squat.
    work the rounds: decreasing merkins by 1 count each round and increasing the squats by 1 count until end.

    In order to “respect the time” (as the awol Q did not) we halved the distance of the run midway through the rounds to make it back to the start on time. OCHO (YHC) then led the “core-down” exercises which consisted of the following:

    Flutter Kicks IC x36
    Hello Darlings IC x26
    Peter Parkers IC x21
    Parker Peters IC x16

    Closed out with Countarama, Nameorama, Name-the-FNG-orama, then COT.

    FNG was duly sworn in as AQUAMAN after regaling the PAX with his most epic tale of jumping off of the Twinspan bridge to save his very life. It can be neither confirmed nor denied that AQUAMAN’s story made YHC, and the other PAX members, recall another very similar story of a fellow F3 member that might have wanted this name but failed to earn it…YHC is too compassionate…

  • A CSAUP Convergence in the Mud

    Well, the day was finally upon us. With a 50% chance of rain it was anybody’s guess what the weather would do. But when it’s called Tough Mudder, either way is good. The clown cars converged at NOLA Motor Park and the clowns met up just inside the official Tough Mudder grounds. The southshore boys called a last minute audible.With Fracsac having to pull out, Cowbell, was and easy EH to grab his spot. Speaking of last minute, YHC pulled up to the meeting spot to see that none other than the elusively nomadic Butt Splice had joined the party, having bought his ticket yesterday.

    Due to the race being 12 mud-filled miles long, not to mention this guy’s exhausted brain, I won’t list all the obstacles, but give a greatest hits and honorable mentions overview.

    Like ripping off a band aid, the 1st obstacle thrown at us was Kiss of Mud 2.o, involving an army crawl under barbed wire through the soupy mud. Butt Splice was fully submerged and in heaven!

    The Hero Carry obstacle (which was much easier the 1st time around) found us carrying our partner about 50 or so yards, then switching for the next 50. Strategically speaking we tried to match up size-wise with Steve/Tanked Up, Butt Splice/Gabrielle, Shooter/Walleye, Bushwacker/Ocho (had I only known this deceptively sized man was actually heavier than the solid Shooter, I might have chosen more wisely), and Reluctant Yankee/Cowbell. Jingle Vader paired up with a random to complete the obstacle.

    Much better acquainted, the fun continued.

    Somewhere along the way, we chanced on a solo mudder who by some stoke of good fortune joined our  regal ranks on this muddy mission. This bald bruiser (sorry the alliteration is addictive) was visiting Nawlins with his lovely wife (who was a loyal spectator) from Chattanooga, TN. An easy Eh and a great F3 fit to round the crew out at 12.

    There were more muddy water-filled pits, walls, hay bales, nets and unpredictable terrain in store for our daring band of F3 brothers. The course lent itself to some quality mumble chatter that added to the intrinsic appreciation of the experience. Speaking of mumble chatter, between Gabrielle and Ocho’s slew of  salacious interactions with random members of the fairer sex, I’m surprised we didn’t walk away from the course with our own fan club. Or better yet, a new cadre of FIA recruits!

    Not that we didn’t all have an appreciation for the females we ran into. A bunch of us made a new friend in a medical assistant at the Trench Warfare obstacle when we gave her a big F3 group hug, sharing all the muddy goodness we had to offer…especially Ocho.

    There were back busting back flips and reverse swan dives at the Shawshank obstacle. This one was quite refreshing!

    At Everest 2.0 we joined the waiting crowd in an attempt to scale the slick quarter pipe and, with the assistance of the previous victors, to mount the 15′ summit. In an attempt to get up quickly and help some folks, F3 and otherwise, YHC skirted the waiting onlookers and made a few unsuccessful shots at the top. In between tries, many, especially the tall gents, were making it look like child’s play. I returned to the fold to find Ocho back on the ground after having already made the ascent. Butt Splice had inadvertently pulled him back down as he tried, in vain, to make it up. With the brilliant Walleye extending his lengthy arms towards the next contestants, the guys one by one made it up. After an embarrassingly  high number of failed tries, this now bruised and battered Q joined his comrades in victory.

    Anyone who knows anything about the tough mudder knows that that one of the most anticipated , and feared, obstacles is the Electroshock! While most of us caught a shock or 2, poor Shooter, who had almost made it through with only 1 zap, took a shot that rung his bell. Being St.Patty’s day, the luck of the Irish must have been shining on Steve, Reluctant Yankee and Jingle Vader (hope I got that right), because they got through scott free. We were all entertained as we prepared to move on by a bald, hardcore ranter who got tagged in the face and many other places as he worked his way through – SON OF A BITCH!

    At the last obstacle, Happy Ending, we ran into fellow F3 Saxon who, along with Jesse from Chattanooga, Ocho, and Butt Splice, formed the base and extension of our human ladder that helped a lot of recently rinsed fools get to the top. Eventually we retrieved our magnanimous brothers and slid down the other side to cross the finish line, arms locked.

    As we gathered post-race with out victory beers (and recovery drinks) in hand to close out with a COT, we were in a unique and enviable position to name an out-of-state FNG. Welcome Big Easy to the F3 Nation! We hope he returns to Chattanooga and hits up one of the 5 area posts up that way. Thanks to Butt Splice for his emotionally aroused prayer to take us out.

    Gentlemen, despite some bumps and bruises this was an extraordinary adventure, and I am blessed to have taken the journey with each of you. Many thanks for following my lead to the starting line today.

  • Some are twice the men of others at the Gipper!

    QIC arrived at the AO with the welcoming of 2 PAX. Turbo and Einstein who are just as loyal as the Ronald Reagan statue, which stands at attention welcoming all who journey to the home we call the Gipper on Wednesday gloom’s.. The sound of gravel and the closing of doors soon produce 3 more men. Low and behold it’s the Ocho arriving with an (FNG), soon to be named twice the man of his own stature. Welcome to the PAX Sweet Sixteen. Not sure how the Maverick times it out so perfectly, maybe he has an app for the timing of the row of lights on 190 that always seem to slow the QIC for his arrival. The high humidity would soon be assisting on this beatdown with perspiration to make the QIC look like a fitness guru.. Enough rambling, quick disclaimer so let’s get after it..

    warmarama

    15 IC GM, 5 Burpees, 15 IC WM, 5 Burpees, 15 IC Overhead hand claps, 5 Burpees, 15 IC Armcircles F/B, 5 Burpees, 15 IC IW, 5 Burpees.

    The thang

    Moseyed to the Taj Mahal, the PAX breaks into 3 teams. Partner 1 wall sits while Partner 2 Moseys around the building to back for a slalom shuffle through the parking post and upon return partner 2 duplicates. Next up Sumo Squats while partner journeys and repeats the slalom. Final alternating leg lunges and closing with the slalom. Indian run to the parking garage for our next missio. PAX line up at the bottom partner 1 back sprints halfway up turns and sprints while partner 2 does plank jacks. Arrival at the top partner 1 does plank jacks awaiting the arrival of partner 2. R/R backdown and up again. After completion needing some O2 the QIC request (2) 10 counts. Thanks for the proper count Ocho and Maverick. Next we sprint up as a PAX to the first ramp and Caricoa across the flats sprint up the second and Caricoa across the top flat rotating legs of course for a balance of sorts. Arriving at the top we use the parking strips 7 total for bear crawl partner 1 and Merkins partner 2 and then partner 2 proceeds to bear crawl while partner 1 does Merkins R/R. Mosey down to the courthouse corridor of sorts for a little obstacle course. Partner 1 doing FKs while partner 2 sprints to steps catching each step to the top, drop for 5 Burpees, down the right steps to the bench for 5 box jumps, back to relieve your partner. Next partner 1 does LBCs while partner 2 sprints and up the steps, drops for 5 Burpees, down the left handicap ramp and slaloms trough parking curbs. With 4 mins remaining we Mosey back to the flag for 3 mins of Mary.

    25IC MC, 15IC Parker Peters and 15Peter Parker’s..

    count off, naming of (FNG)Sweet Sixteen, Announcements, COT

    Big thanks to Ocho for taking us out in prayer!!

    Welcome Sweet Sixteen glad to have you!

    Appreciate the men of the Gipper for indulging me on this Humid Gloom!! 👍👊

  • The Mande Monkey-Humpers

    Our regularly scheduled Saturday foreplay became irregular this morning, with both Shooter and Bushwacker respecting the time a little too much, misremembering the start time as 0600 rather than 0610.  A bewildered Tanked Up watched from his car as PAX would randomly show up and take off in different directions.  This “respecting the time” would become a bit of a theme for Bushwacker, who kept an especially strict eye on his watch for the entirety of today’s beatdown.

    Warm-Up:  SSH, Seal Jacks, IC x 25 / 10 8-Count Bodybuilders / Windmills, IW’s, Hillbillies, IC x 15 / 10 8-Count Bodybuilders / Mountain Climbers, IC x50.

    The Thang:

    First stop this morning would be the gazebo for a COP.  Everybody grab your ankles and hold, while each PAX does 10 monkey humpers, rotating around the circle.  x2.  T-Claps to Chewy who, as usual, demonstrated perfect form.  (No one asked if this came from excessive practice.)  Around this time a drone began circling overhead, presumably sent by Captain Sparkles to get some aerial footage of the PAX for F3 Nation’s front page.  What could be better advertisement for F3 than a group of monkey-humping PAX?  Move over, Milkshakers!

    Next up, derkin wave.  Tank, being the indomitable beast that he is, suggested 10 derks per man while PAX holds declined plank, so we got to it.  After one round, YHC felt we still had a little left in the tank, pun intended, so we rotated once more with a single derkin per man.

    Final gazebo wave was an Al Gore hold while each man performed 10 squat jumps.  Quick 10 count and onward to the sloppy field for….

    BOMBS!  Partner up, P1 runs to the previously-coined “headless penis” and back to relieve P2, who began the work of accumulating the following totals: 50x Burpees, 100x Overhead Claps, 150x Merkins, 200x Big-boy Sit-ups, 250x Squats.  At this point, the Wacker, who was a thorn in my side throughout the beatdown, gave his own disclaimer: sit-ups are not good for you, military institutions have abandoned them, yada-yada-yada.  YHC briefly toyed with the idea of increasing the sit-up total, but our resident physical therapist stepped up, explaining how to use slower, more controlled movements to decrease the chances of injury, and so the attempted mutiny was quashed.  Modify if necessary, people.

    This one took a bit longer than expected, with all the running back and forth adding a decent chunk to our RRR totals, and so we didn’t have much time to do the planned third pearl of this morning’s beatdown.  However, despite Bushwacker’s increasingly desperate pleas to turn back, YHC figured we could at least complete part one of that pearl.

    So, keep your partners, and mosey onward to the far side of the bridge.  P1 performs 4×4’s (burpees with 4 merkins, and 4 mountain climbers per leg), while P2 bear crawls forward down and backwards back up the bridge.  Flapjack.

    Finally, pull Bushwacker off the ledge (literally, of the bridge), and mosey back to the flag to find Turtle, looking way too clean in a sparkling white t-shirt.  With Turtle jeering us on: Leg Raises, IC x20, Putins IC x 20, and… “Lob Lollies,” IC x 15.

    Countdown, nameorama, and Manny prayed us out.  Onward to the coffetería, where it should be noted that our faithful barista, who has put up with both the smell and disorderly conduct of the PAX for well over a year of Saturdays, is finally moving on to better things.  We wish him luck (and better tippers).

    Thanks PAX, I had a great time this morning – always appreciate the opportunity to lead you men!

  • Celebrity Q

    Much like POTUS’ final season of Celebrity Apprentice which starred the likes of Geraldo Rivera and Ian Ziering, this morning’s Celebrity Q brought the biggest names of the Northshore PAX out of retirement.  Along with the return of Turtle came the long-awaited return of founding-father Nacho, as well as Ocho and Choppa.  It was also Tanked Up’s first foray into Grandmother’s House.  Had this beatdown been broadcast, it surely would’ve been a ratings bonanza. Like, totally huge.

    In keeping with Turtle’s dislike of rules and regulations (see Krazy Ivan disqualification for reference), the Q had us skip the warm-up portion of the beatdown and head straight into some shoulder work.  (Spoiler: there would be a lot of shoulder work.  In fact, that was the only thing Turtle had planned for us this morning.)

    The Thang: 40 merkins OYO, followed by shoulder taps 25x IC, arm circles forward 20x IC, reverse 20xIC, and air presses 40x IC.  Not sure at all about those numbers, even though YHC was the one doing the counting.  (Another Turtle thing, he has yet to conquer counting in cadence…)

    Round 2: After YHC deliberately disregarded the Q’s request for only 15x IC Shoulder Taps, the Q wrested back control of the beatdown and finally tried counting in cadence for himself.  Air presses 20x IC, arm circles forward and reverse 15x IC, and finally, 15x merkins OYO.

    Then a mosey through the woods to the tunnel, where the PAX circled up for… merkins, shoulder taps, air presses, and arm circles!  Then Turtle turned the Q over to YHC, who attempted to show the PAX a new 8-count exercise that consisted of a groiner (1-2), down into an elbow plank (3-4), plank jack (5-6), and back up to normal plank (or “F3 Plank,” as the Q today would call it).  This was semi-successful, as Tanked Up seemed to have it down.  So it’d be a partner routine, with P1 doing the 8-count exercise described above, and P2 sprinting have the tunnel, back-pedaling the rest, and doing 10 jump squats before returning in the same manner he came.  YHC had planned a few rounds with various exercises, but again, Turtle did not like the way things were proceeding and decided it was time to head to the bus stop for some leg work.

    Knee Ups, each leg 15x IC, Freak Nasties 15x IC, Bulgarian Splits, each leg 15x IC, Freaks, 15x IC.

    And the grand finale – turning the Q over to Choppa for 5 minutes of Mary: Crunchy Frogs, Flutter Kicks, Hello Dollies, Jane Fondas (L&R), and some merkins to bring it back full circle.  All to some intense music that I’m pretty sure is used for action movie trailers.

    Nameorama, countdown, and Turtle closed it down with a thoughtful prayer.  T-claps to all the men who made it back after such a long hiatus, it really was a lot of fun seeing you guys again.

  • Foundations

    Performing fundamentals is necessary for mastery. We’re not trying to do it until we do it right, we do it until we can’t get it wrong. Furthermore, you will perform how you train and we want to train to win. Building from this, the routine the PAX performed today is a simple one: no warm up mozy from start to finish straight through no stopping – going from town hall to sunset point and back again, with front runners circling back for their brothers behind until we arrived back at the start. Once back at the start, PAX performed a series of sprint races as follows:

    RACE 1: free for all – sprint to 20 yds then about face and back peddle sprint another 20 yds. mozy to the next location

    RACE 2: paired up team relay race – sprint 30 yds and return to slap team mate’s hand who repeated the run. mozy to next location

    RACE 3: paired up team relay race – runner 1 sprints 15 yds, runner 2 runs the same to meet runner 1, then runner 1 sprints 15 more yds and returns to slap runner 2’s hand and runner 2 runs the same and returns to slap runner 1’s hand, then runner 1 sprints back to start line which signals runner 2 to sprint back to start line.

    Cool down was leg stretches in a squatted crouch pushing knees out with elbows, straight leg streches left and right, straddle leg stretch in the middle, lunge step stretch right and left, neck rolls 3x each direction slowly, shoulder rotations big and small backwards and forwards.

    countarama, nameorama, ball of man

     

    “He who ignores discipline despises himself, but whoever heeds correction gains understanding.”
    Proverbs 15:32 (NIV)