We definitely should have had more 10 counts at the beatdown. Since there were none, we hammered through 16 sets of Tabata (30 seconds with 10 seconds rest) and about 40 minutes with the cinder block coupon. Alternate cinder block reps with an assortment of other reps (mostly pull ups). At the concluding bell, YHC was thoroughly tired. Until next time!
Tag: pea shooter
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Marsh Madness 2021 – from Zoolander
Welcome to Marsh Madness 2021. Twenty-four Pax converged upon the Milestone Marsh for this second-time event1
In the presence of the Pick Axe-entrusted Freedom Hammer, we started with a quick disclaimer, Warmorama, Bushwacker-style2 instructions, and then the THANG.
The Pax counted off in 4’s and formed 4 x 6ish-man teams at each corner of the court with a basketball. While 1 member of each team backpedaled with their ball to half court, performed a Bobby Hurley, and drove to goal for a shot of his choosing:
– Layup (1 point),
– Free Throw (2 points), or
– Three point shot (3 points)
Zero points for missed shotsthe rest of each team completed the following series of exercises in cadence led by a rotating corner Q.
• Burpees
• Air Presses
• Shoulder Tap Merkins
• Copperhead Jump Squats
• LBCs
• Plank Jacks
• Monkey Humpers
• Flutter Kicks
Each man – including FNGs, 2nd timers, and celebrity guests – had multiple chances to lead the cadence.Shooters marked their points with sidewalk chalk and fell in line to call the cadence for the next exercise. It took a few rounds before each team found its own rhythm, but after that it was like watching a philharmonic orchestra playing Mary had a little lamb.
After “40 minutes of hell,” team member points were tallied, and the highest scoring individual from each of the 4 teams were down-bracketed to a 5-shot “Around-the-World” shoot out on their respective side of the court. The rest of the Pax performed Goofballs and Side Straddle Hops to distract the Final Four shooters.
Grundy, with accountant like focus, out-calculated Speedy;
Ocho outdanced Whip.Grundy and Ocho were then down-bracketed to compete in a best-of-10 shootout from the free throw line. As luck would have it, they tied, and we went to Sudden Death from the Three Point line. Despite Ocho’s shenanigans, Grundy stomped the Stomper and emerged as the 2021 Marsh Madness champion!
– Trophy
– Count-orama
– Name-orama – Welcome FNGs Sonar (EH’d by Turbo Tax) and Gomer Pyle (EH’d by Sparky).
– Announcements
o Northshore 5-year convergence led by Waterpik at the Lakefront on April 10.
o Next F3/FiA mixer is 4/29. Thank you Jose10k, some of us do have to plan ahead for weeknight workouts.
o ZOORICH CLASSIC at the Lakefront on April 24. (See how I slipped that in there Cowbell?…never too early!)QIC prayed us out and group photo followed. Great job by all. We’ll see if Grundy can defend his title in 2022. Thanks for playing along men. See you in the next Gloom.
Footnotes:
1Seriously, footnotes in a Backblast? Why not? The first Marsh Madness was in 2019 with a small, dare I say Elite, group of 8. Bird was an FNG and drained 16 x 3-point shots. The B-ball gods did not favor him today though. And well, Corona (as it was called back then) had other plans in ‘20.2Bushwacker-style instructions typically include circumlocutory, sesquipedalian musings about man’s ultimate life purpose with some semblance of what the Pax should be doing for the next 40-50 minutes. They are often accompanied by Mumble Chatter and confusion by all within earshot. Bushwacker-style instructions are the exact opposite of Turbo-style instructions, which are direct, concise, and never to be interrupted without penalty.
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Main Event Was Not a Work Out
Yes, you guessed it! The main event surrounded Jose’s pride and joy–his sweat jug! You remember… the one that some of his teacher friends reportedly spotted in the back seat of his car during a recent, quick trip for lunch. Mickey D’s, anyone? Just imagine the ‘splainin that must have taken place on that ride. Oh, to have been a fly on the windshield that day. To the amazement of the Northshore PAX, Jose 10k, in typical F3 fashion, rose to the, ahem, “challenge” and filled his sweat jug in a measley 16 DAYS! I’m sure in Zoo’s wildest dreams he did not figure he’d be getting doused on the Lakefront on September 12th. If I were a betting man, Halloween would be where I placed my moolah. And I’d imagine that’s what Zoo was counting on, too. But, not Jose. He “squeezed” in about 4 T-shirts a day! Let’s count em. 1) The beatdown in the gloom. 57 straight, but who’s counting? 2) ISI 3) mowing the lawn (everyday???) 4) moving Goose out of his house (lagniappe). 5) Who knows what else? It’s Jose. The man never stops!
So there we were. Zoolander. Jose 10k. The entire F3 Northshore PAX. And the Smelly Bucket of Sweat with that BROWN STUFF at the bottom. Does anyone know what that stuff was? I was afraid to ask. Anyway, back to the moment. It was time for Jose to do the honors. And that he did, launching the Lowe’s bucket full of brown, rancid, baked / aged sweat at Zoolander, blasting him squarely in the chest. Zoo, then did the best thing he could to quickly cleanse the body, jumped in the Lake. But, hey, I give Zoolander credit; he took it like a man. The anticipation was palpable, Jose was giddy, and Zoo, a man of his word, was brave. And the PAX? We were nauseated, looking at the rife liquid in the bucket. The Hammer said he turned around so he didn’t barf. And poor Zoo, I don’t think he would have ever heard the end of it if he tried to get out of it. So T-Claps to him, for coming up with the challenge and taking it like and man, and to Jose, for filling the bucket so quickly, so we all could get a good laugh.
Did I mention there were 2 beatdowns today?
Well, there was, and the toughest one is part of a nationwide F3 challenge sponsored by F3 Greenwood, South Carolina. It’s called the Iron Pax Challenge, and it’s not for the faint of heart. After a brief warmup of Seal Jacks, Arm Circles, Cherry Pickers, Mountain Climbers, and Imperial Walkers, Steve led the Iron Paxers to the west on the Lakefront for a grueling 43 minute circuit beatdown, where the PAX moves from one station to the next, carrying a cinder block coupon, doing exercises along the way try in AMRAP fashion.
Of course, it should come as no surprise that the Iron PAXers acquitted themselves admirably with the following rep counts:
TankedUp – 651
The Hammer – 545
Butt Splice – 528
Zoolander – 490
Jose 10k – 486
Toto – 450
T-Claps to all PAX willing to endure Iron PAX. It definitely is a DOWNPAINMENT!
Meanwhile, YHC led the rest of the PAX Eastward for a series of Tabata sets. Clock set for 30 second sets, with 30 secs of rest between. Exercises were merkins, plank Jacks, jump squats, smurf jacks, flutter kicks, Apollo Ono’s, monkey humpers, and leg raises.
Mosey to playground equipment at East end of Lakefront for 4 rounds of the following exercise:
19 Merkins (commemoration of 19 yr anny of 9-11-01)
Bear Crawl 20 yards
Pop up and Run around perimeter of entire fence at east end of lakefront, back to starting line.
Rinse and Repeat 4 times.
Mosey back to Flag.
Thanks for the entertainment today, Zoolander and Jose 10k! We enjoyed it!
Prayers for our nation and for those families affected by the 9-11 Terrorist Attacks. May we always REMEMBER. STAY VIGILANT. STAY STRONG
Thanks for following my lead today, guys.
COT and thanks to Russo for praying us out!
