F3 New Orleans

Tag: Slots

  • The First(and Probably Last) F3 Presidential Fitness Test – from French Horn

    Four Score and 7 years ago, the founders of our nation based the core values of our nation on brotherhood, democracy, equality(eventually we got there), and most importantly; athletics. The first presidential fitness test was started by the legendary Dwight D. Eisenhower, the GOAT of World War Generals. The test was discontinued in 2013 because the new generation of liberal snowflakes couldn’t take the sheer dexterity and tenacity required for such a task. I was the last of a dying breed, the last breed of young men who attempted this test, and the impact it left on me is incermountable. As so, I thought there was nothing better to begin my Qing career than this test of sheer manliness.

    It wouldn’t be a Horn Q if YHC was fashionably late. I shot in at a crisp 6:34 as the PAX were deep into a warmup led by Goose, the man with the golden bloodline. Awaiting me in the parking lot is a highly touted FNG Andrew, someone who I warned beforehand how different this is from the weight room; he was hard headed enough to scoff at me, he will see what is to come soon. As disciples of the great marketing professor Yankee Joseph the 2nd, we know a thing or two about highly thought provoking ideas. I thought the PAX would be excited and enthusiastic about this workout when they knew about the prize I had. The F3 world championship belt. Here we go:

    The Thang:
    A good beat down includes a song, and what better song to start a hot muggy summer than some good ole Pearl Jam.
    Song: Alive with air squats through the song until the chorus when therefore we burpee.

    The Test.
    Merkins
    Big Boys
    Coupons Curls
    Shuttle Run
    Augmented Mile Run
    Montana’s Choice(I gave tana man the choice of workout as he was the reason I’m here with you fine gentlemen, and I will be forever grateful for this unit of a human)
    Pull ups
    Mosey Back

    A nice session of mary concluded with Pope becoming the champion and Coyote as 2.0 champion. As I said before, Goose has thoroughbreds as children. Slots from Katy came in 2nd, a performance for the ages, massive respect for him as he came in and out in 110% effort and was a beast for all 60 minutes. I’m also rocking the Katy F3 sticker on ole Bessie as we speak(it’s fire). 3rd place was Dox, you can always expect Dox to compete and show off his grit and wherewithal. FNG Andrew did a little better than I expected, he was a fish out of water without his pre workout and creatine, but it meant a lot to me that my brother from another mother made the trip to come to my VQ, as well as being given maybe the best name in history, Frankenbeanz(already legendary). Special mention to Wet Tap, as the F3 version of Hulk Hogan(always winning brother) suffered a weird off day, which was escpially weird as the ole taking off the shoes trick didn’t go in his favor. The animal recipient was Paradiddle, the first time I saw him at a beat down and I was extremely impressed, T-Claps to my guy. Gigi recipient was Wet Tap, it really essintiates his biceps. All things considered the beast will continue to conquer. Prayer intentions and then Wet Tap with a strong prayer out.

    I wanted to end this blast off by getting a little personal. Growing up I was a chubby kid. I was always athletic and always wanting to be active, but I was always heavyset no matter what I did. When Covid-19 hit, I was encouraged by my friends to start being active again. And so I started running(Forrest Gump voice). By the time 2021 rolled around I was chilling at 190, down from 265 in May, a massive drop. I was encouraged and happy, until I wasn’t. My dad dropped dead offshore from an aortic dissection. It was the darkest point in my life. I started making bad life choices, not having a clear path or clear sight of where life would take me. Down to 165 pounds, I was literally close to my body shutting down from lack of food. Then I had that moment where I realized I had to change. I started going to the gym and bulking up, continuing to try my best to make my dad proud along the way. The last year has still been difficult, as my mom and I’s relationship has been very shaky at best. I really have no guidance or adult prescense in my life at this point, so I was trying my best to stay afloat, at this point worse than before. One day during that roughy time while working at CC’s, I saw the great drug dealer from Napoleonville BJ Antill sipping his cup of hot coffee in visible pain. I asked him what’s up? He replied,”Cinderblocks man.” I was instantly intrigued. Then the sultan of stocks Adrien Maught realized our mutual connection to BJ. It was then they both began recruiting me, and I can say, F3 has been a blessing. It has gotten me involved with a group of amazing guys and i’m in a setting where I can be myself and do things that I love. I love and appreciate all of you gentlemen, and I hope to continue to grow and improve myself as time goes on within F3. Thank you gentlemen for everything.

    French Horn

  • The First(and Probably Last) F3 Presidential Fitness Challenge – from French Horn

    https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-8zgfUK4szaMrEe3Cm7g8Stc-9dystwj6decwRhL8lY/edit

  • The Lions Share – from Akbar

    14 strong at the Lakefront today in bitter conditions. Einstein down range from F3 Houston – who brought an FNG, and 2 other FNG’s related to the first FNG. A family affair. Slots joined us mid-way appearing from nowhere. Did I say it was cold? We got warmed up fast.

    Conditions: 30 degrees and breezy

    Warm Up
    50 SSH, 5 Burpees, 40 SSH, 5 Burpees, Self-Love, Toe Touches, Grass Grabbers, 30 SSH, 5 Burpees, 20 SSH, 5 Burpees

    Thang – Ladder from 100-10 with some runs in between

    100 Squats
    90 Crunchy Frogs

    Mosey to Rips

    80 Rocky Balboa’s (2-1) with a squat jumps after every 10 reps
    70 Wall Plank Jacks – Feet up on wall

    Mosey up Noah’s Ark to Claiborne
    60 Around the World Lunges – front, side, reverse each leg = 6 reps x 10

    Mosey down Claiborne to the old Varsity Sports
    50 Bird Dog Crunches 25 each side

    Mosey back to the Flag
    40 Merkins
    30 Supermans

    Mosey to Noah’s Ark
    20 frog leaps – Hands behind head

    Mosey back to the Flags
    10 Navy Seal Burpees- courtesy of Einstein – Merkin, right leg to right arm, Merkin, left leg to left arm, Merkin, Jump with Clap at top = 1

    Wall Freak Nasty IC x 10

    Mary IC x 10

    LBC, Mountain Climbers, Peter Parker, Jane Fonda, Monkey Humpers, Flutter Kicks, 100’s, Gas Pumps (BBQ led IC)

    Count-o-rama, Name-o-rama
    Welcome FNG’s Parcheezi, Mahoney, and Baggins

    Announcements: Run Cajun Run, Endurathon, City Pork (City Park F3 family event with 5 5k’s) tentatively Feb 25th.

    Circle up, Paw Paw prayed us out

  • Split Q (IronPax and Cakewalk) – from Russo

    78 degrees to start today, and looking for any reason for positive weather news, (1) there was no rain and (2) it was slightly less humid than it has been. Really good start to the morning for a split Q of IPC week 0 and a birthday cakewalk.

    Warmup (between 10x and 14x, all IC)

    -Toe touches
    -Arm circles
    -Self love
    -Cherry pickers
    -Grass grabbers

    Thang: while Zoolander took half the pax to the west for IPC, YHC led a cakewalk (trademark to either Grundy or Zoolander), your basic descending ladder of exercises and reps, starting at YHC’s age (in this case, 44) and work your way to 1, with some moseying in between around Old Mandeville/Lakefront.

    The order:

    44 High knees (2 is 1, which YHC forgot right off the bat and thought “count by 2”, so thanks to Jose for keeping me honest. Math is hard)
    43 SSHs
    42 Plank Jacks
    41 goof balls
    40 squats
    39 Hello Dollies
    38 Calf raises
    37 Apollo Ohno’s
    36 Freak Nastys (correctly guessed by JV Raider Pride!)
    35 step ups (also correctly guessed by the Pax)
    34 flutter kicks
    33 butt kicks (2 is 1) (lead IC by the entire pax rotating, very nice job, gents!)
    32 Peter Parker’s (2 is 1)
    31 imperial walkers
    30 Shoulder taps (2 is 1)
    29 American hammers
    28 Monkey Humpers (Happy Birthday JV!)
    27 Merkins
    26 Smurf jacks (where we were joined by Ms. Cute Young Jogger, who either (1) felt bad for the old guys struggling to mosey and catch their breath, (2) knew it was JV’s birthday and wanted to give him an early birthday present, (3) was on a runner’s high and wanted to be friendly on a Saturday morning, or (4) some combo of all of the above)
    25 leg raises
    24 Rosalitas
    23 crab jacks (crab position – think reverse plank jacks, which Moby was having none of)
    22 groiners
    21 Bear crawls (counting your right hand as a rep)
    20 murder bunnies
    19 Wide merkins
    18 Bobby Hurley’s
    17 crab cakes
    16 circle ups
    15 Bulgarian split squats
    14 durkins
    13 big boy sit-ups
    12 LMCs IC
    11 diamond merkins
    10 star jumps
    9 donkey kicks (an ode to Shooter)
    8 wife pleasers
    7 merkins
    6 6 inch drills
    5 Carolina dry docks
    4 SMCs (2 is 1)
    3 jump squats
    2 burpees
    1 minute plank

    COT, name-o-rama, announcements, and prayer closed us out.

    Thank you, gents, for either joining me or pushing yourself hard with IronPax. And a larger thanks to each of you for not only pushing me harder, making me better through your example, and providing friendship for 4 of my 44 years, but for being a light in your families, work, and communities.

    SYITG

  • On Your Mark. Get Set. Go! – from Bird

    Cool morning at the Lakefront with 14 PAX posting. Looked to be a slim crowd at first as QIC was greeted by Moby Dick and Sonny (aka Turbo Dog) after returning from coupon delivery to Milestone Marsh. Welcome to everyone, glad to see Cathy returning following the previous week’s Merkin Madness, now let’s get to it.
    Warmarama consisted of SSH (20 IC), Good Mornings (10 IC), High Knees (20 IC), what’s that exercise called where you touch your elbow to your knees? Oh year, Imperial Walkers, thanks Russo (10 IC). Hillbillies, the alter ego of Imperial Walkers (10IC), Windwills (10IC). QIC directed to plank position to complete Mountain Climbers (10IC), Peter Parkers (10IC), Parker Peters (10IC), Groiners (10IC), and Merkins (10OYO). As PAX would come to find out, we would end the day in similar fashion… Upon completing the warm up, PAX mosied to Noah’s Ark.

    QIC divided PAX into two teams by counting off and groups separated on each side of the neutral ground (do we call it that on the Northshore?). QIC attempted to explain the workout, although some clarification and tweaking was required as we moved through. The theory was for each team to sprint one block (app. 0.1 mile – 200 meters-ish) for the five blocks from Lakeshore to Livingston (five round). As each person arrived, they would immediately commence prescribed exercise doing AMRAP until final member of team arrived. Cumulative reps of the team were counted when all members arrived and the team with the most reps was declared the winner. Losing team was then assigned double the number of reps to complete for a core exercise to be prescribed by winning team. Losing team, in turn, prescribed core exercise to winning team. I know, confusing right, thus the required tweaking.

    On Your Mark. Get Set. Go.

    Round 1. After impressive sprints by all PAX, round 1 exercise was jump squats. Team 1 proved victorious with 48ish cumulative total compared with Team 2 40ish. Team 2 was assigned 96 hello dollies and Team 1 was assigned 40ish American Hammers. “How does this work again, cause that’s a lot of reps!”

    Round 2. One Legged Burpees. Team 1 victorious again. Team 2 assigned double reps of leg raises (don’t remember, but it was a lot of reps – 40-50). Team 1 assigned Crunchy Frogs (Q didn’t feel number of reps was beneath the victorious Team 1 sprinters, so he assigned Crunch Frogs (IC).

    Round 3. Merkins. At this point, the number of reps was getting ridiculous (in the 100s and double that would have crippled the rest of the workout), so QIC audibled and assigned the same exercise to each team (LBCs) with no doubling. Team cumulative reps assigned to opposing teams were retained.

    Round 4. Sister Mary Katherines. Core exercise that now alludes me.

    Round 5. Burpees. 100s
    After first phase of workout complete, PAX recovery walked to Milestone Marsh and removed coupons from back of QIC’s truck. Three rounds of four exercise (10 reps each OYO) consisting of thrusters, kettle bell swings, pullups, and hanging knee raises. QIC directed to hold plank until the six completed each round before beginning the next.
    With three rounds complete, PAX loaded back coupons, short recovery walk, and then mosy (app. 0.5 mile) back to the flag. A few of the PAX held a brief interlude at the seawall to complete 25 freak nasties (IC).

    Back at the flag, QIC demonstrated Absolution as the final exercise of the day, an eight count routine consisting of (from plank), groiner (1, 2), low plank (3, 4), plank jack (5, 6), high plank (7, 8). PAX did five IC and then directed to complete OYO until 0730. With PAX waning, QIC called for five more and then time.

    COT. Announcements (don’t forget the Nehemiah Project – Hammer, Grundy – on starting on March 18th). QIC prayed us out.

  • Deck of Death Part IV: A New Hope – from Russo

    36 degrees greeted a Pax of 6 at Granny’s for the return of the deck of death: version 2022.1. This upgrade featured the “Animal activity pack”, with crowd favorites Monkey Humpers (you’re welcome Hogs Breath), Crab Cakes (just for you Jose!), Donkey Kicks, and Crunchy Frogs.

    Warmup (all IC, varying reps, like a locker combination: to your RIGHT!)

    -Seal jacks
    -Cherry pickers
    -Imperial walkers
    -Grass grabbers
    -Self love
    -High knees

    Thang

    Bench work with 20 freak nastys and 20 step ups, followed by 10 of both, and then 5 more.

    After a quick mosey, Pax knocked out the Deck of Death (exercise and count based on value and suit of the card turned over from a standard deck of playing cards). YHC likes to split the deck into 4 groups to vary up the exercises, with some moseying before, during, and after.

    Hearts – Monkey Humpers, Jump squats, SMCs, Nut Crackers
    Diamonds – Diamond Merkins, Merkins, Peter Parkers, Shoulder Tap Merkins
    Clubs – LBCs, Leg Raises, Crunchy Frogs, American Hammers
    Spades – Crab Cakes, Donkey Kicks, Gas Pumps, Angels in the Outfield

    Mary
    With about 5 minutes left, Pax completed some calf raises up the pilot house, 2 each step, a minute of plank, and a final 10 merkins.

    COT, Name-o-Rama, announcements, and prayer closed us out.

    Note the Crazy Ivan is coming up on 2/3 and HogsBreath and Pass interference are working on a Slidell AO. Keep checking Slack for more info.

    Thank you all again for joining, letting me lead you all. As always, really enjoyed the mumble chatter.

    And finally, the vote count, subject to independent verification next week, was 11 A’s and 7 T’s. And in case you’re wondering, I vote T.

    SYITG

  • Nothing but THANKS – from Russo

    YHC is a big fan of finding little things to be thankful for every day. Something new or different. Something unexpected. Something unique. Anything to keep me plugged into how blessed we are.

    Blessings like a bathroom at Grandma’s house. Like a cool, crisp 43 degree morning. Like lunch dates with potential love interests. Like 7 HIM sharing a common experience and making themselves better. Like Zoolander’s encyclopedic knowledge of early-to-mid 90s Halloween and witchcraft movies.

    Giving thanks was the name of the game today at granny’s.

    Warmup (all 10 to 20 IC)
    – Seal jacks
    – Grass grabbers
    – Torso twists
    – Imperial walkers
    – Arm circles
    – Cherry pickers

    Thang

    Mosey around the lakefront, where we stopped intermittently to give THANKS: each exercise starting with the proper letter. T claps to Cowbell for picking up on the pattern quickest (I think).

    T. T merkins (10)
    H. Hallelujah squats (15)
    A. Apollo ohno’s (10: 2 is 1)
    N. Not-so-lazy boys (10)
    K. Knuckle merkins (10)
    S. SMC’s (10)

    T. Traveler merkins (10 in a clockwise pattern)
    H. Hip slappers (20: 1 is 1)
    A. American Hammers (25: 2 is1)
    N. Freak Nastys (15)
    K. Kraken Burpee (5) – T claps to Steve for correctly guessing what was coming.
    S. Step ups (20: 1 is 1)

    T. Twinkle toes (20: 2 is 1)
    H. Hand release merkins (10)
    A. Alligator merkins (10)
    N. Nutcrackers (10 IC)
    K. Knuckle merkins (10) – Respect to JV and Slots (and maybe others) knocking them out on the concrete without gloves
    S. Scissor kicks (20: 2 is 1) – or maybe it was flutter kicks, I can’t keep them straight.

    The mosey back ended with one minute to spare, so Pax planked until the clock hit 0.

    COT, Name-o-Rama, announcements, and prayer closed us out.

    Here’s where I give thanks, not only this week, but every day for this group of (and all) HIM. Getting up before 5 to push harder with the vague goal of making ourselves better, however we want to define it, is never an easy decision, but it’s often the right one. I hope we continue to be able to take some time to give thanks for what God has blessed us with.

    Like breath in our lungs to do Hallelujah squats in a circle in the middle of Girod street, like a cult worship, without getting hauled away to jail to “sleep it off.”

    SYITG

  • The (Birthday) “Cake Walk” – from Grundy

    One might ask why someone would willingly hang around a group of guys who without fail would say that they hate them at the end every workout. To continue to endure that type of verbal abuse for 4 and a half years seems insane. But on this specific July 10th, those words would not be obligatorily uttered any more. The word “hate” would be replaced by silence. On this specific day, YHC moved over into the realm of “Those Who Shall Not be Named” (Those Who Shall Not be Named = The age group of 30-49 where you earn no extra “hate” or “respect”).

    I was now free of hate but had strangely grown accustomed to hearing it! So, in order to receive the word I had heard every workout for 4 ½ years, I had to give the PAX another reason to “hate” me. No problem, that would be a “cake walk”.

    Pre-Thang
    Normal warmup sequence commenced In Cadence ranging from 10-30 counts.
    • SSH
    • Windmills
    • Good Mornings
    • Arm Circle Series

    The Q then took the PAX on a longer than typical mosey to Milestone Marsh where the cake walk would begin.

    The Thang
    Credit Zoolander for saying the week previously that it would be funny to create a workout sequence called the “cake walk” that actually was really difficult. Challenge accepted! Since the beatdown would be on the Qs actual 30th birthday, it just made too much sense to create a workout that had the word “cake” in it. After a quick poll via GroupMe from both the Northshore and Southshore, a quick list of most “hated” exercises were gathered. From there, the Q just worked in the number of the day “30” and the (birthday) “cake walk” was born.

    The cake walk goes like this. Start on the baseline of the basketball court, you will begin with 30 lunge pulses on the right side pausing on every fifth rep for a five count hold before continuing the reps. Continue until every rep is complete. Once finished, you crab walk to half court (you can thank Zoolander again for suggesting this one on GroupMe) to do 29 Sister Mary Catherines. Crab walk back to the baseline for 28 Carolina Dry Docks. Crab walk to half court for 27 Bulgarian split squats (right side). Crab walk one more time back to the baseline for 26 manmakers in cadence (a real crowd pleaser). After you finish that, this is where you can insert a ten count or two since there is no crab walk after the manmakers which means you will still be on the baseline of the basketball court.

    You repeat the sequence of descending reps of Lunge Pulses, Sister Mary Catherines, Carolina Dry Docks, Bulgarian Split Squats, and Manmakers starting now on 25. For every sequence of the 5 exercises, you switch which leg you would do for the lunges and Bulgarian split squats. So, in the second sequence you would do your left side. Continue this sequence until you do the last manmaker!

    Finishing this was quite a challenge and the lack of mumblechatter just further evidenced that fact. Although, legend has it that Barely Legal is still out there doing his speedy crab walks! The workout was done, and the time showed 7:29 AM when we finished the last manmaker. We were half a mile from the lakefront flag but the PAX was gracious with their sentimental Q on this day. We decided that despite the time, we would take a nice walk back most of the way to the flag.

    Once we arrived around the flag we were able to officially welcome our newest FNG Pro Bono! After that I was able to express my gratitude to a group of men who quite literally shaped the man I am today. A group who showed me that as we strengthened our bodies we were also strengthening our friendships, leadership capabilities, and character. I wouldn’t trade this group of men and the lessons I’ve learned for anything and am beyond honored to simply be a part of the group. And although I will never hear the required berating of “hate” after my name again, I will never stop feeling the care that I’ve felt from the first day when I showed up one Saturday morning back in February of 2017. A feeling of care that has continued to grow and which actually feels a lot like love.

    Until Next Time,
    Grundy (He Who Must Not be Named)

  • There’s an outdoor shower at the Gipper – from Jose10k

    I need more Cowbell, wait, I any Cowbell. Cowbell was supposed to have the Q, yet he called an audible. Have no fear Jose is here to step up, and step up he did. Since I am now sounding like Bushwhacker, referring to myself in third person, I will get on to the workout. I was tossing around a few different ideas, but when there arrived only 6 participants I went with tabata: 45 seconds of an exercise, 15 seconds rest. I started us off, and then went around the group with each participant calling out a different exercise. Peacock, Waves, Slots, Blue Note, BBQ, and YHC were rolling when a very peculiar young man rode up on his bike. He was a mixture of a homeless man mixed with a meth head, crossbred with Joe Dirt. He was shirtless, tatted up (yet the tats made no sense whatsoever), and clearing on something. He proceeded to shower at the Gipper, brushing his long locks, while talking to himself. As a group we were all amazed that an outdoor shower existed at the Gipper. To which Joe Dirt’s distant inbred nephew replied “It feels so good, and that we should definitely each try it when we finished” Never a dull moment at a FIA/F3 beatdown. COT and BBQ prayed us out.

  • Need more 10 counts – from Waterpik

    We definitely should have had more 10 counts at the beatdown. Since there were none, we hammered through 16 sets of Tabata (30 seconds with 10 seconds rest) and about 40 minutes with the cinder block coupon. Alternate cinder block reps with an assortment of other reps (mostly pull ups). At the concluding bell, YHC was thoroughly tired. Until next time!