F3 New Orleans

Tag: Smooth Operator

  • Exicon Top Cover – from Honeysuckle

    YHQ arrived early to test out the “mintron” speaker’s ability to broadcast from the Lion to the trees and was disappointed. Fortunately, several PAX arrived at that moment at the same time. YJ continues to impress with his parking skills. Significant amounts of calf stretching ensued. Valve arrived just in time for warmarama.

    Warmarama:
    SSH, Windmills, Willie Mays Hayes, Imperial Walkers, Toy Soldiers, High Knees, Butt Kickers

    Thang 1:
    As this beatdown was coming together, the theme seemed to be YHC making slight modifications to some other beatdown or Thang that someone else did. So the theme today would be covers. A lot of time, the band doing the cover tries to get as close to the original as possible. But sometimes they make it their own, and this latter approach would guide our exercises today.

    First, since we do 6 minutes of Mary quite a bit, this was changed to be 15 minutes of Joseph. The Joseph in this case is Joseph Pilates, who put a lot of focus into the brain-muscle connection. For the exercises we’re used to, this is no big deal. But some movements, especially fine movements or new movements, we aren’t used to them and they can be a challenge.

    America’s Best previously mentioned that the “Hundred” was in the exicon, so YHC scrubbed the exicon to find other “official” F3 exercises that were similar to pilates exercises. Here is YHC’s mapping, which is the set of exercises done today:

    Exicon -> Pilates

    Hundred -> Hundred. On your six, pump arms up and down 100 times. Feet on the ground, abs engaged.

    WWI Situps -> Roll up

    Alphabet -> Leg circles. The first 13 letters done on the right leg, unless you are left handed. The second 13 letters done on the other leg. It was good to brush up on the alphabet also.

    Boat/Canoe -> Double leg stretch

    Bay city scissors -> Scissors (w/o side scissor)

    Criss-cross -> Freddy Mercurys

    Superman -> Superman

    Ab stretch -> Bottom of pickle pounder

    Cooler -> Side lying leg raises (w/o knee to chest). These were extra rough.

    ? -> Figure 4 stretch

    At this point it was noted by Yankee Joe that we really don’t do much stretching. Goose’s opinion was that stretching was supposed to be done on your own time, and that was that.

    Thang 2:
    YHC still regrets missing the Iron PAX challenge done at the track this year. So to sort of replicate it, the PAX were to do a Route 66 around the civic center. Exercises were to be done at the front and rear of the building. Starting at the front, one burpee, one squat, and one merkin were to be performed, then run to the back and do two of each exercise. Then run around to the front and do 3 of each exercise, and so on, until at the last stop 11 of each exercise are completed.

    We often wonder, how many [fill in exercise] did we do? With route 66, there are multiple ways to get this number.

    1+2+3+4+5+6+7+8+9+10+11 = 66

    Or

    (1+11) + (2+10) + (3+9) + (4+8) + (5+7) + 6 =
    12+12+12+12+12+6
    = 60 +6 = 66

    Or

    Sum of 1 to N is N*(N+1)/2, so for N=11 we have 11*12/2 = 11*6 = 66.

    Or

    Just make an inference as to why the exercise is named Route 66.

    During this exercise, we listened to several covers and also an original song that possibly has a more famous cover.

    Rolling Stones covering Route 66 (orig: Nat King Cole)

    Rascall Flatts covering Life is a Highway (orig: Tom Cochrane. Nod to Smooth’s Disney beatdown)

    Lenny Kravitz covering American Woman (orig: Guess Who)

    Bruce Springsteen singing Blinded By the Light (covered by Manfred Mann. Wrapped up like a douche?)

    Van Halen covering You Really Got Me (orig: the Kinks)

    Thang 3
    Just 3-4 minutes left, which was the perfect amount of time for some VO2 max work. Enron several months ago had a sequence that worked on this, so we were going to burn it out today. The exicon word is “Ciabatta” (hence the bread), known to everyone else as Tabata, which is a specific type of high intensity interval training (HIIT) in which you work for 20 seconds and rest for only 10 seconds. It provides most of the fitness benefits of cardio, without having to spend all that time doing cardio. According to google, the only negative of Tabata is that it isn’t much fun.

    PAX would sprint back and forth between the lion and the trees during the work period, and do whatever they felt like during the 10 seconds rest. Since minitron would not be loud enough for the PAX to hear the start/stop from everywhere on the course, YHC brought a whistle as a backup and this is what was used to demarcate start and stop. The PAX completed let’s call it 5 rounds of work before it was time to recover.

    As Goose and Pope had to leave early this morning, we counted 6 PAX. Yankee Joe prayed us out.

    YHC appreciates the PAX diving deep into the exicon today and dealing with YHC’s strange cadences at times. But we made it through. And YJ was not only able to pull into his parking spot, he was also able to pull out of his parking spot. No reverse required. No other PAX who drove today could say the same.

    SYITG,
    Honeysuckle

  • Disney Zumba – from Smooth Operator

    11/21/23

    Attendance
    Pope
    safety valve
    Wet tap
    Americas best
    Goose
    Enron
    Lil cuz
    Honeysuckle

    YHC slept through 2 alarms this morning and woke up at 4:50 which pretty much set the tone for the beatdown. At 5:10 YHC showed up and didn’t see the Turt wielding Safety Valve, which caused YHC to send Goose to his house for a music box. 2 minutes later Safety Valve showed up and Goose showed back up at 5:16 on SSH 18.

    YHC recently had the privilege to take his family to Disney World. With all the stuff my family had been through in the last 4 months, I figured it was worth a shot to try and capture a little bit of happiness from the happiest place on earth. YHC has a love hate relationship with Disney. I don’t mind the drinks and food that they sell there even though it is more than double what a meal should cost, but YHC’s family loves going and I’m not going to stop them if I can help it. YHC needed a couple weeks to let the idea of this beatdown mature before I was ready to bring this joy to the PAX. Alright let’s get after it.

    Warmarama
    SSH
    Wind mills
    Arm circles
    Cherry pickers
    Mosey to coupon corner for some 35 lb dance partners.

    Thang 1-10
    A few weeks into YHC’s F3 experience, Goose shared a beatdown with the PAX which involves nothing but music exercises and burpees. We did over 200 burpees that day and I thought that was the coolest idea and I developed a love for the burpees that day. Well due to YHC’s experience at Disney and this very fond memorable beatdown, I decided to stick these two in a blender and YHC’s version of Disney Zumba was what came out. Alright let’s get after it.

    The 1st song was meant to be an additional warm up due to a relatively short warmarama. The song was Poco Loco from the Pixar movie Coco. The Pax did mountain climbers for the duration and A-rods (J-lo and pickle pounder) on the trigger words Poco Loco and Mi amor. The Pax knocked this out with relative ease and looked to be hungry for more.

    The next song on the agenda was from Mulan named Make a man out of you. Naturally the duration workout was Manmakers and the trigger exercise was goblet squats. Our trigger words for this song were Huns, son, boy, Mr. and man.

    Song 3 was surface pressure from Encanto. For this song the Pax switched from high, middle, and low Al gore squats each time there was a lyrical break in the song. Our trigger exercise was Bobby Hurleys each time the words pressure or surface came about which happened to be a good bit.

    Our next song I started feeling the Pax giving me some icy stares. The song name was Frozen heart from the hot movie Frozen. The duration exercise was Side straddle hops although there was not many SSH due to the amount of trigger exercises completed. The trigger exercises was goose’s and our trigger words were frozen, cold, icy, basically anything that the Pax determined to represent cold. I’m pretty sure everybody thought this one was cool.

    Next we stayed on theme and did another song from Frozen 2 named Lost in the woods. Our duration exercise was holding 6” and our trigger exercise would be leg raises. Our trigger words were go, gone, lost, catch, chasing.

    The next song , Zero to Hero, comes from Hercules. Each time there was a lyrical break we would switch from high plank to low plank.

    YHC is a big fan of this next movie, if I had to pick a favorite princess movie it would be Moana and Shiny our featured song is a good one. Our duration exercise was Apollo onos and we did burpees for our trigger exercise. The trigger words were shiny, glam, treasure, sparkle, glitter basically anything to do with a shiny. We basically did 3 minutes of burpees once this one was finished.

    The next one is not as well known as the rest on this list. It’s all right from the movie Soul is another good song. Our duration exercise was coupon crunches and our trigger exercise was WW3 sit ups. The triggers were it’s all right and soul. We did a lot of ww3 sit ups.

    YHC couldn’t pass up the Jungle Book Bare necessities since Wet Tap was really looking forward to it. We did Bonnie Blair’s for duration and burpees for a trigger. Our trigger words were Bare, Bear, Bees, Honey, and Paw. We didn’t do many Bonnie Blair’s.

    Our last song which was supposed to be engrained in the Pax’s brains was It’s a small world. We did penguins for duration and WW2 sit ups whenever we heard the worlds it’s a small world in all languages. This seemed to baffle the Pax but we ended up getting whistle bit on 0600 before we left the English language.

    After this we circled up and did COT and prayed out
    Thanks to the Pax who stuck with me. I half expected people to walk out on this one. All in all those who came, put in work, and were probably sore the next morning. Mission accomplished.
    SYITG
    Smooth Operator

  • Diamonds are forever – from Safety Valve

    November tends to signify the start of the holidays for many. For others, it is the start of engagement season. A recent engagement had YHC reminiscing of his own 13 years ago. Most couples get engaged between November and February statistically. Today, we are celebrating the recent and upcoming engagements of our friends and family

    Warmaramma

    SSH
    Imperial walkers
    Willie mays Hayes
    High knees
    Butt kicks
    Arm circles forward
    Arm circles back
    Cherry pickers

    Thang 1
    The engagement starts with the awkward conversation with your future in laws. YHC recalls this time vividly in his own life. It was 2010. As YHC built up the courage to to discuss the engagement with the future in laws, he remembers getting a cramp in the gluteus maximus from the constant clinching of the cheeks. All YHC could do is sit down and try to not make a grimace while we discussed how their daughter pushes me to be a better person every day. In remembrance of that moment, leg day commenced.

    7 of diamonds – at each corner of the Diamond (basketball nets) the previous exercise was completed and the new one added. Once the four corners were completed we then went backwards and subtracted 7 reps from each exercise at each corner.
    7 burpees, then add
    14 jump squats, then add
    21 Bonnie Blair’s, then add
    28 American hammers

    Thang 2
    The next part of the engagement is the proposal and the ring. The rings exchanged signifies eternal love and never ending commitment. To remember this commitment we run circles around the civic center.
    4 laps around the civic center – after each lap, we stop and complete 15 Diamond merkins.

    Thang 3
    The last part of the engagement prior to tying the knot includes waiting for your bride to be to make every decision about wedding planning. So, we waited for each other to do burpees. Using the same Diamond formation from thang 1, the Pax completed the field of dreams on the basketball court. There were four groups – 15 burpees, amrap merkins, amrap LBCs, amrap squats. After the burpee group finishes, each group rotates to the next station.

    Made it back to the flag, CoT, announcements, and Popeye prayed us out.

    Thanks for waking up and showing up. Honor to lead this group today

  • Just One More – from Paradox

    Misty rain, mysterious gif riddles, and relentless cane trucks were no match for the 8 high impact men at the stage today. YHC has been itching to get back out on a Monday as there is no better way to start the week. Tuesday Tuff may have the glitz and glamour but I knew the real fun was secretly being had on Momentum Mondays. That’s where the pax were really asking the hard hitting questions. Like todays…just why is flatulence so funny?
    Have you ever pondered it.
    We have a multitude of other audible bodily functions right? But no one even bats an eye at a really loud sneeze, in fact we offer them blessings! A burp? First, you have to excuse yourself, then you have to go home and change the snapping turla soup recipe. Crack your knuckles and you just mean business. Even a loud tummy rumble and we feel empathy for ones hunger. But what about ole tail feathers…yes, the fart transcends time AND space. Consider the following scenarios. At the bedside of a passing loved one and they rip one.. laughter (from all parties). In the delivery room of a new life and a seconds old baby writes their first backblast..hilarious! (and cute!) Stranger in line at the post office rattles your cage..I’m reporting it to my wife with cry emojis before I even check out! At face value its trapped gas escaping your gastrointestinal tract but I’ll bet your at a low giggle just now even thinking about it. Just one of Gods great mysteries.
    Why did we ask it today…Lots to unpack here. Let’s climb in.

    Duke! Stop tasting your own brand and roll the footage!

    Warmup

    Standard issue with low chatter about soreness from the Architects Veterans Day beatdown and Partner Carrie’s on Saturday. (YHC nixed todays partner carry’s on the fly, listening is one of my hobbies ya know)
    Chillier than expected with intermittent rain gusts, might have been a Ronnie long sleeve day. YHC was ready to get the party started just to raise the body temps.

    Mosey to the Coupons and Dilly and Diddle joined the fray cursing the schmukity schmucking cane trucks in unison.

    Da Thang a Lang

    Memorable Men Monday

    Volume 3: Desmond Doss

    Previously on MMM (working on trademark rights so we can compete with Tuesday Tuff (TM) all rights reserved.) We have covered Sir Ernest Shackleton and St. Max Kolbe so the bar is pretty high and today called for a spotlight on veterans.

    Desmond Doss was a US Army corporal who received the Medal of Honor as a conscientious objector. Refusing use of weapons or violence due to his beliefs he was assigned as a combat medic. During the WWII Battle of Okinawa his company was assigned the task of taking a steep plateau amidst the rock formations known as Hacksaw Ridge, due to its intimidating terrain and being riddled with enemy caves.

    In a 12 hour period he saved 75 men , carrying them or hauling a stretcher up and down the ridge. Unimaginable courage under unthinkable conditions.

    **The PreHype Gif Riddle was a picture of Desmond Doss scaling Hacksaw Ridge, later played by Andrew Garfield (spiderman) in the movie directed by Mel Gibson (Braveheart) who was ever so appropriately yelling freedom which Corporal Doss and his combat were serving to protect for us. **

    Circle of Pain Thrusters

    We did 75 as a group to honor the 75 men that were saved and to prime the quads for what was to come . YHC took a moment here to reflect that in a previous beatdown maybe 1.5 ish years ago YHC dialed this up and it was a near death experience. There was moaning, four letter words and several pax (YHC included) updated their Last Will and testaments. But today it was considered a light warmup for the coupon elite. Ho Hum just a few thrusters while we have tea and wait for the real work. Mannn ! The fire and flames of IPCs, JurpTobers, hoosker dos, hoosker donts and high level beatdowns has the iron of F3 Thib looking sharp as ever. T-Claps.

    Left coupons in Stonehenge mode with Mosey to the starting line of Richmans loop.

    Introduced a Swedish dish called Fartlek a La Merkin

    YHC needed a running thang to encompass covering long distances and sprinting to simulate avoiding bullets. Until late yesterday evening it was a gap in the beatdown construction that left YHC befuddled. Little did I know Goose was standing at his sink , elbow deep in dishes, using the telepathic communications gained with shared suffering of countless beatdowns. Standing at my own sink of dishes I could sense it…Like a scratch I couldn’t itch ..or a fart I couldn’t quite taste…wait a minute!!! Duke get the ancient scrolls..

    Fartlek: It’s a Swedish Word, You Juveniles – from Goose

    The introduction of the Fartlek is at atleast top 5 on my list for Goosies greatest hits and it worked well for todays theme. We moseyed 3 light poles then sprinted the 4th with scattered merkins to complete 75. The pax performed well and with the power vested in my by the State of Louisiana Medical Board I pronounce you certified Fartlekkers.

    Merkin Variations:

    Werkins

    Ranger

    Diamond

    Staggered

    Regular

    Slow merkins

    RaRaJaBurpee back to da Couponz

    One of the many stories of Corporal Doss’s bravery involved him kicking a live grenade away from his company. This received one of his many injuries and several pieces of shrapnel.
    To honor this we paired up for RaRaJaBurpee from Richmans straight away to the coupon pile.

    I’ll take this time to formally apologize to Valve for his pairing today. We started in a great position to win and He was putting his Futbol skills to use with monster well placed kicks. YHC was all over the place, too much mustard..then not enough! yielding us a dreaded loss to the formidable Dawson duo.

    To be honest YHC lost track of the other couples in the heat of competition but no ankles were broken and much fun was had.

    Next up to honor the wounded carry techniques that Corporal Doss used up and down Hacksaw Ridge we had 1 pax Bar Lunge to cone and back while Rest of Pax did AMRAP :

    Curls

    OHP

    Squats

    SSH

    Leg Raises

    Freddy Merks

    Lastly we did burpees without knowing the time or the reps.
    “Just One More” – AMRAP Burpees till 6am

    Counting , Naming, and shenanigans

    COT and Diddle prayed us out

    Dox of Chocolates:

    Its very easy for YHC to get swept away in distraction. And a lot of days its the currents of anxiety that can be the swiftest. What’s ahead? What’s behind? Am I prepared for this? How long will this last? Why does xyz happen only to me etc. etc.
    So it makes me even more grateful for stories like todays about Corporal Doss, where we see dependence on God immediately followed by His provisions. A reminder that when all is said and done whether its the next crisis, the next family drama, the next appointment, the next day or even the next hour… we can say “Lord help me through one more”.

    Grateful for the opportunity to lead and to stand beside you men and ask for one more.

    SYITG,
    Dox

  • In The Beginning, There Was Only The Gloom – from Yankee Joe

    Excerpt taken from the recently discovered “Dead Peltch Scrolls”

    1 In the beginning, Goose created the Gloom. 2 Now the Gloom was formless and in his backyard, darkness was over the Settlement at Live Oak, and the annoyance of Kate was hovering over the mudgear.

    3 And Goose said, “Let there be suffering,” and there was suffering. 4 Goose saw that the suffering was good, and he separated the suffering from the misery. 5 Goose called the suffering “growth,” and the misery he called “being a bitch.”

    And there was posting, and there was COT—the first beatdown.

    6 And Goose said, “Let there be an AO to separate PAX from PAX.” 7 So Goose made the AO and separated the PAX from the NOLA AO from the PAX down the bayou. And it was so. 8 Goose called the AO “F3 Thibodaux.”

    And there was posting, and there was COT—the second beatdown.

    9 And Goose said, “Let the AO under F3 Thibodaux be gathered to one place, and let a real AO – that’s not my backyard – be found.” And it was so. 10 Goose called the dry ground “The Stage,” and the gathered PAX he called “HIMS.” And Goose saw that it was good.

    11 Then Goose said, “Let The Stage produce pain: picnic tables, wet grass, and moseying routes according to their various kinds.” And it was so. 12 And Goose saw that it was good.

    13 And there was posting, and there was COT—the third beatdown

    14 And Goose said, “Let there be music to separate the pain from the pain, and let the music serve as signs to mark sacred songs such as Thunderstruck, various sea shanties, and Peaches.” And it was so.

    16 Goose made the music come from a magic box—the greater magic box he called Anker and the lesser magic box he called JBL. He also made many farts. 17 Goose played the music to force others to do hundreds of burpees. And Goose saw that it was good.

    19 And there was posting, and there was COT—the fourth beatdown.

    20 And Goose said, “Let the beatdowns teem with mumblechatter, and let the smack talk ring out across the vault of the sky.” 21 So Goose created the GroupMe and showed the PAX how to use GIFs to communicate directly and passive aggressively. And Goose saw that it was good.

    22 Goose blessed the Chatter, “Be relentless with each other. Write about the beatdowns in prose in order to leave delicious easter eggs about the shortcomings of your brethren.”

    23 And there was posting, and there was COT—the fifth beatdown.

    24 And Goose said, “Let the land produce living creatures according to their kinds: the stray dogs, the red ants that move along the ground, and the wild woman carrying laundry baskets, each according to its kind.” And it was so. 25 And Goose saw that it was good.

    26 Then Goose said to Pope, “Let us find more crazy people like us, so that they may post in the heat and in the cold, and find ways to do LBC’s in ant piles.” 27 So Goose cast out looking for men like him; men as shit can crazy as he was, he looked for them. Laymen and men of the cloth, he searched for them.

    28 When Goose found them, he said “Make sure to EH and increase in number; convince your wives this is not a cult. Wear short sleeves when it is 30 degrees, dedicate old running shoes to be F3 shoes, buy overpriced F3 gear to fit in more easily.

    29 Then Goose said, “I give you authority to design any beatdown with any theme, any type of exercises, anything that will create suffering. Remember that you were not created for comfort. You don’t deserve to be comfortable. 30 And I give you GroupMe and Backblasts in order to destroy each other, while celebrating your brothers.” And it was so.

    31 Goose saw all that he had made, and it was goosetastic. And there was posting, and there was COT—the sixth beatdown.

    Thus F3 Thiboduax was founded, all of its glory stretching from Bourg to Houma to the St. John HOA in its vast array.

    2 By the seventh beatdown, Goose had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh beatdown he did man makers. 3 Then Goose recruited Cardinal, and in one of the first beatdowns that posted more pax than just goslings the location wasn’t even Thibodaux.

    ————————————

    YHC had planned to create an award ceremony beatown for the BYITG Challenge. However, as the three year manniversary came a few days earlier and in the midst of the PAX dropping their favorite memories, it seemed appropriate to continue the mosey down memory lane. Butttt…as I think about it, I’m now realizing that Goose on a few occasions, knowing my intent, made subtle comments about the three year manniversary. I changed the theme the night before to be a continuation of celebrating F3 memories. How does he do it? I swear it’s Jedi mind tricks. I’m Toydarian…what is this power?

    So…F3 memories. I asked Goose for some old beatdowns and thangs. He sent me the famed Grand Isle beatdown that had roped Cardinal into his FNG appearance. More on that in a bit. There were some hilarious stories, including how YHC argued with Enron about his own last name. He said it was pronounced “Lillick” – no ch sound. I said, “noooo…that’s not right…” Enron said it was of German heritage. I said it was most likely Spanish. Even now, I cringe when I think about it.

    The debate went on for a few minutes, everyone that was present, absolutely dumbfounded by the fact that I would tell a 35 year old man he didn’t know how to pronounce his own last name. To publicly show my acquiescence and humble myself in ridiculous fashion, YHC wore his authentic lederhosen to the Q. It would turn out to be a very bad move for a beatdown. Like running 10 miles with a nutcracker attached to the front of your shorts.

    —————————————–

    Thang 1: The Solo Goose

    Throughout the day on the manniversary, several PAX mentioned their experience with a solo Goose. YHC also shared this experience. It was awful. I almost never came back. It was amazing. In most cases, save the occasional Ace and Gary Q, a Goose favorite was a Lazy Dora. That said, not all PAX have had this once in a lifetime journey into the depths of coupon hell. It’s like swimming with Jar Jar in a small pond that somehow turns into a vast ocean.

    To share the love, PAX partnered up for a quasi Lazy Dora with 50 thrusters, 50 man makers, and 100 OHP’s. Partner 1 did the coupon work, while Partner 2 bear crawled to marker (12 yards) and crab walked back. Flapjack. The kicker was that Goose, in a 10-minute window, had to spend roughly 30 seconds one on one with each PAX, either doing coupon work or joining a PAX in a bear crawl/crab walk. Everyone got a solo Goose. Most of us are now far more informed about form. Did you know there was a narrow and wide edge on a coupon?

    ——————————–

    Thang 2: Seven Memories

    Memory 1: “This is for the birds”

    After taking Cardinal through the beatdown, which that day was the 14 Stations of the Cross (We only had time for 7), Cardinal, in his unparalleled bedside manner (when it comes to sweating and technology), kindly remarked to Goose, “This is for the birds.”

    To commemorate this moment, the PAX did 90 seconds of brick butterfly squats. Here, they flapped their extended wings up as they squatted down, flapped their wings down as they stood up out of the squat, while holding bricks. One minute in, the first rumblings of awareness began to emerge…a 90 second exercise sprint seemed to last longer than expected.

    We sprinted 200 yards, bricks in hand…

    ————————————-

    Memory 2: Here’s to Treeroot

    As F3 Thibodaux began to approach the Open Era, the second and arguably most pivotal draft class exploded onto the scene. PAX such as Popeye, Enron, CuttThroat, Elmer’s, GI Joe, Paradiddle, and others, there were a lot of FNGs who posted…and then quicly faded into the trees. One such PAX was named Treeroot. During a run last year, Enron inquired about whatever happened to Treeroot. This became the descriptor for the phenomenon of ‘showing then ghosting’ from then on.

    90 seconds of tempo squat BOTH ways and arms extended straight up with bricks…you know like a tree growing slowly, branches out. However, it was clear that the PAX were more like crepe myrtles, “growing” quite fast and essentially voiding every single Jurp completed during the BYITG challenge. As such, Horn may have actually been a top scorer.

    Sprint 200 yards, bricks in hand…
    ————————–

    Memory 3: You get a hernia, you get a hernia, EVERYBODY gets a hernia

    One of the OG’s, Popeye, by all accounts started his F3 tenure strong, regularly posting and raising the bar. However, due to a series of burpee laded Goose beatdowns, he got himself a nice hernia, which required surgery. He was on injured reserve for over a year, before staging what the critics are calling the greatest comeback in F3 Nation history. Of course, he would tell you not to call it a comeback. Yes, yes…you got it. He’s been here for years.

    To honor this achievement, we did 90 seconds of hernia inducing V-Ups with bricks in hand. Again, it became very clear, very quickly, that of the total 8,799 V-Ups completed during the BYITG, most likely only 392 actually counted…all belonging to Pope.

    Sprint 200 yards, bricks in hand…
    ————————————-

    Memory 4: The dumbest thing I’ve ever seen…

    Paradox likes to tell a story that while Goose was away on retreat, and having just returned from 30A himself (Paradox), he introduced combo warm-ups such as front arm circle stationary lunges. Upon return from the retreat, Goose reportedly said, “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen…in my life.

    YHC disagrees. The dumbest thing I’ve ever seen was introduced to the PAX by Goose last year, in which one would do a burpee, complete three merkins, and finish the burpee into three jump squats. It’s a real doozy, Clark.

    90 seconds of Goose Burpees with three merkin and three jump squats…these were too hard for YHC to observe anything else going on except how his soldier boi’s were being squat jumped in his tight lederhosen.

    Sprint 200 yards with no bricks…
    ———————————–

    Memory 5: The Inner Circle

    When a man begins F3, he goes through a honeymoon phase, connecting deeply with the other PAX, pushing harder than probably ever in his life, noticing that his body is going through some changes, and realizing that he can make adult friends after all…maybe.

    As such, you let your guard down and let yourself get close. You believe you are progressing through layers of hierarchy, ever inching toward the real inner circle. However, the minute you feel like you’ve made it, you get punched in the crotch and informed that your green texts aren’t welcomed here. Some call you Cactus Jack for almost a month, while your Spanish proficiency is questioned. It’s an emotional roller coaster…one day you’re basking in the warmth of friendship, the next, you’re being kicked out of iMessage groups.

    Like interpretive dance, YHC can best explain the phenomenon by the following:

    For 90 seconds, PAX starts in the outer circle, then bear crawl in/alligator merkin toward the inner circle. Once you get there, crawl bear back out to despair and scorn.

    Sprint 200 yards with no bricks…
    ————————————-

    Memory 6: Diddle Giggle Farts

    Recently, YHC had to go out of town and America’s Best graciously agreed to step into his first Peltch Q. It is safe to say that of the two, AB brought the A. Already ensconced in F3 Thibodaux lore, the German bards will sing of the “brewpons” beatdown for years to come. In one of the exercises, PAX doing WW3 sit ups (BBS with Coupon OHP at top) to some German music, Diddle ripped one right on Goose’s head. As would be expected, the giggling began, and like Sir Didymus and Ambrosius running across the Bog of Eternal Stench, the mini farts came with every sit up/giggle.

    In hopes of replicating this experience, the PAX did 90 seconds of WW3 sit-ups with brick OHP’s. What the PAX didn’t know was that YHC had queued up wet fart sounds on the Spotify playlist…easily BAPS’ greatest moment in his life.What happened over the next 90 seconds will go down as YHC’s best memories of all time. Once the wet fart sounds began, 16 grown men, nearly half of which were over 40, could barely complete the situps because they were giggling so hard. YHC quite literally couldn’t catch his breath.

    Sprint 200 yards, bricks in hand…

    ————————————-

    Memory 7: Kilmer

    One of YHC’s fondest Q memories was when Kilmer DRing from Winston Salem, joined the PAX at The Stage. He was a character to say the least, a gentleman in his late 50’s. He talked a special brand of trash that he was more than welcome to take back to Winston Salem. Toward the end of the beatdown, the PAX was doing a ton of pickle pounders.

    Now, don’t get me wrong…pounders are conducive to melodramatic grunting from even the strongest core, but Kilmer…mannn…it was downright unnerving. It was like the sound you would hear from a mating walrus mixed with…I dunno…yodeling. It was loud. It was weird. It was a bit nasty.

    Smooth, who was pounding next to him and perhaps in his first few weeks of F3 showed no signs of distress, but you could see him slowly inching away with each pickle pounder rep, looking like he had been scandalized. Fortunately for us, Smooth came back and is now ingrained into the very fabric of F3 Thib.

    The PAX did 90 seconds of pickle pounders with instructions to gunt loudly, but appropriately considering the presence of 2.0’s.

    Sprint 200 yards, no bricks…

    —————————————

    With two minutes left, YHC offered up another great F3 moment with Coyote as the protagonist. About 12 PAX attended the NOLA convergence last year. With nearly 100 men in a circle, F3 Thibodaux dropped a Thunderstruck burpee exercise. UNFORTUNATELY, JBL did not get the memo. The volume couldn’t carry, men were getting restless. Then out of the foggy shadows, Coyote sprinted to the middle of the circle and put on what is surely the greatest air guitar performance of all time. 100 men LOVED every second of it. Coyote is legend.

    We did two minutes of burpee Thunderstruck and moseyed back to the flag.

    COT and Cardinal prayed us out.

    Cafeteria followed, and the PAX were treated to Safety Valve’s nitrous oxide cold brew. It. Was. DELICIOUS!

    Just another great memory in a list of great memories. I loved every minute of this beatdown because we got to celebrate each other with humor, chatter, and flatulence.

    SYITG,

    Yankee Jeaux

  • Don’t Fear the Reaper – from Paradox

    YHC rolled in a touch early to the Peltch to lay out a few stations for our trick or treaters. Greeting Ronnie and Fresh Gi on the way I made a few cone deposits, worked up a lather and visited the haunted ghost toilet for an early backblast. Jeaux had been correct previously noting the eeriness of a densely fogged peltch morning and YHC planned to weave it into todays theme.

    On return Ronnie and Gi had been joined by a stout group of 12 more pax. It was another true gloom and YHC had trouble distinguishing everyone but found early inspiration in a returned Fire in the Hole and a sweaty HoneySuckle, already 7 miles deep on the day. (Campaign to rename him RunnySuckle?)

    Slowly noting my error in a late groupme invite to wear a costume YHC was ready to be “that guy”’when the Old Testament Tundra rolled in and out stepped Malachi Obadiah Dawson the IV , the great Shepard/Prophet/Early Church Father( his story is in one of those apocryphal books so don’t sweat it ).
    It was a clear sign the cardio strain was about to get biblical.
    Let’s get it !

    Duke! Get the candy corn
    It’s F3 Thib Halloween!

    Warmup
    SSH
    IW
    Frankensteins (shout out to America’s FrankenBeast )
    Bat Wings (10 AC, 10 CP, MNCs, Self Love )
    HIgh Knees, Butt Kicks

    Indian run to ThunderDome with last man dropping off for 3 Peter Parker Merkins as a shoutout to Gooses lifelong love of the spidey suit.
    Because if a full grown man can’t be spiderMan every year till he’s 99 then what are we even doing with all this freedom ?!

    We had a fine Indian run with some Halloween selected jamz leading us back to the Tdome for jurps and treats.

    As this backblast goes to print we are 28 days into what the critics are calling the greatest ISI of our age. Jurptober has had it all. Feats of strength, bonding, betrayal, ghost poops, Merkin miles, berkin miles (hushtones), ageless wonders, Google sheets meltdowns..all under the careful eye of the Architect. So it was difficult for YHC to refresh the jurpee but if there’s one thing that always moves the needle in F3 Thib it’s the feared emom timer…
    YHC dialed up 2 minutes with 3 kraken burpees as the kicker.
    All finished in fine form and Smooth beat the clock on round two of the Kraken by atleast 14 seconds.

    **Trick or Treat**
    Roll first dye – Take standard 15 reps (treat) OR add the trick and roll the second die with lower or higher. (Die have 5-10-15-20-25-30)
    We rolled every time we change locations or as a ten count.
    Along the way we did Burpees , BBSU, LBCs and Most Pax chose the conservative 15 rep approach. (Lame!)

    Mosey to the Chimney to start the Monster Mash

    The Main Thang was all about releasing dat Monster within.
    We trained in each of the 4 traditional Halloween monster disciplines. Listed below with their correlating groupme hype actors. Name image and likeness were taken from these men with no consent and they will have little help with litigation as my legal team is busy battling no less than 17 active Jurp citations this month.

    Da Monsters:

    I.) The Werewolf (Yankee Jeaux Jackson before turning full werewolf in the Thriller video)

    7 Werewolf’s (Carolina dry dock into upward dog yoga pose )
    Run to the chimney , Nur back
    1 BBSU
    Increase the BBS and decrease werewolves until complete.
    This had several pax booking early Monday chiropractic appointments for shoulder evals.

    2.) The Zombie
    Pax split into equal teams
    Hold plank in a line with enough room to frog hop in between. The last pax hop to the front and do 5 merkins. Repeat until your entire team crossed the cone. The return race would be a team arm linked lunge. Epic graveyard race and YHCs vision was too blurry to call it anything but a photo finish.

    Mosey to monkey bars

    3.) The Vampire (Count Goosula)
    Hanging in the Cave
    P1 hanging leg raises AMRAP
    P2 10 burpees
    2 rounds each to complete 40 burpees as a pair.

    4.) The Mummy (our Knights in shining Armor Ronnie and Tana)

    Pyramid Scheme of Burpees

    Bearcrawl to cones
    Increasing burpees , then crawl bear during descending burpees
    1-2-3-4-5-4-3-2-1

    YHC set the course up for some intended gang clashes and was not disappointed when I hit a smooth wrecking ball and was almost shanked by a an optometrist. Ya love to see the competition.

    Back to the flag for name off count off

    Jurpee numbers (adjust if you see fit)
    1 jurp
    67 burpees
    Merkins depending on graveyard race cycles
    50 BBSU

    Intentions
    Announcements:

    AB house party upcoming Nov 11

    Goose Leaving the Nest party on Nov 12
    (I’m still in denial, it’s just a prank…sigh)

    More deets on these in the GroupMe

    Ronnie Prayed us out

    Had a blast getting better and finding some monsters today men.
    Great work
    Enjoy a feast on your 2.0s candy
    It was well earned.

    Here’s a Dox of Chocolates:

    Ever found yourself curious as to what a psychedelic experience would feel like? No?…
    No one? Okay okay then, play it coy, your secrets safe with me *wink *wink
    Buttttt if you had, and didn’t want all the baggage, (health risk, weird shaman named Marley, unhealthy fear of leprechauns) then yesterday morning at Peltier park at approximately 6:39am you had a perfect opportunity. You could have sat right in the Thunderdome, on a bleacher, sober as a church mouse and witnessed quite a trip:

    A light fog sizzling off the hard pan spicy grass, backlit by a tremendous blazing full moon. A shadowy hearse standing ominously at center stage. Street light splotches of hazy orange along the pavement. Fluorescent greens and purples from a blow up haunted house add to the dizzying effect. And then you hear the growing foot falls of 11 men, 3 children and a well worn wagon. Led by a desert prophet they jog by single file maniacally tossing dice to and fro. Anchored by a ghostbuster, occasionally one loses all function, drops to the ground and pretends to be spiderMan. They continue in this manner until reaching a pre arranged destination surrounding the hearse. That’s when the shrooms really kick in. They start a synchronous series of exercises while the Blue Oyster Cult reminds them to not fear the reaper. Not satisfied with this they disappear into the gloom looking for more monsters to mash with.

    Ya know
    Maybe my 6th grade DARE teacher was right
    Maybe you can get high on life.

    I’ll need a few more beatdown to be sure…

    SYITG
    Dox

  • Looked Better on Paper – from Goose

    YHC felt pretty proud of the continued creativity necessary to keep jurps and points rolling after almost three full weeks of beatdowns. And this morning was a particular point of pride because YHC was going to introduce the PAX to a classic routine that was a huge part of YHC’s F3 foundation while also racking up an obscene amount of points. At least, that was the plan.
    Warmup brought a welcomed razzing from YJ (the now-usual absence of he and Dox have made for some unusually quiet warmups). Then, we grabbed coupons out of the truck and made a ring around Enron (at the second sidewalk). He declined to be the center of attention, saying something about his tempo squat form, and we commenced three rounds of jurps. But, since YHC was Q-ing, the whole group had to nurse a rotator cuff injury, so we replaced the 10 groiners with 10 Bonnie Blairs (2:1). It was tough, and it definitely took longer than 10 minutes; a good bit longer.
    YHC took the opportunity to fit in a quarter-mile lap around the building while the anchors finsihed the last round to Pat Benatar’s “We Belong” cranking out of the impeccable sounds of the Oontz. And, we needed to keep half the PAX from building up points while they waited for the rest to finish–especially the ones not on YHC’s team.
    The time had come to share the foundational gift of the Classic Deck of Death. With the dawn of the newer F3 cards with a different exercise on each, the classic routine has fallen deep into the dark middle range of the Exicon. Well, not today! Today each suit represented an exercise, and it would remain that way for the duration–so, only four exercises, and the number on the card drawn would be the number of reps. But, the face cards are bad news–they mean high reps and a harder version of the exercise of their suit. The suits were assigned as follows:

    Hearts: Merkins; Face cards: 20 shoulder-tap merkins
    Clubs: V-ups; Face cards: 20 X-factors (lying spread eagle, hand goes up to meet opposite foot, like a half v-up)
    Spades: Bonnie Blairs; Face cards: 20 Goosies
    Diamonds: Curls (but 2x the rep numbers); Face cards: 40 curls
    All Aces: lap around the building

    You can imagine why YHC would have figured on racking up points, especially since YHC remembers getting almost through an entire deck during beatdowns on the Northshore. But, they didn’t do three rounds of Bonnie Blair Jurpees and a quarter-mile lap before starting. And, somehow it took an average of 30 seconds for each PAX to turn over a card, stare at it like it they were having to decipher some sort of ancient language, read it out to the group, and then half the PAX ask for him repeat it loudly because they couldn’t hear it over Chicago’s “25 or 6 to 4”. So, we only got through about a third of the deck and one other Ace, which brought the total up to a measly half mile.
    Total numbers of reps were:
    -3 jurps
    -71 Merkins
    -59 Bonnie Blairs
    -55 V-ups (2:1 x-factors counted as 1)
    -78 Curls
    And, for those who ran a couple more laps after COT, 1 mile.

    YHC appreciated the PAX’s willingness to push through, especially the Bonnies and Goosies, despite the supposed promise of some fun games of chance. (Instead, they got “Just turn over the next card and we’ll do one of four things.”) Honestly, it’s more interesting when you know you’re gonna get through the whole deck, so the torturous cards are comin’…it’s only a matter of time before your luck runs out.

    Announcements, Animal shirt went to the well-deserving Hypotenuse, whose quiet perseverance is admirable, though YHC looks forward to when he starts slinging witty mud at YJ like the rest of us. America’s Best prayed us out.
    Lastly, it was awesome as YHC was driving out to see more than one of the men accompanying the still recovering Smooth around the civic center as he refused to not complete his mile. Proud to be a part of such an awesome crew!

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • “But Wait, There’s More!” by America’s Best – from Yankee Joe

    There was once a time, before all of this handheld, on-demand streaming gluten-free wifi entertainment, a time when men were men, and Boyz II Men, and ABC, BBD (East Coast Family). In these grueling times, if one were to lie sleepless at night, the only solace was whatever happened to be on the TV… which was almost always the Infomercial. A late night beacon through the (brain) fog, the Infomercial beckons: “Give me your clumsy, your stupid, your flummoxed masses…”

    Smooth Operator was already on site as YHC pulled up this morning; this dude never fails to impress with his punctuality, commitment, and demeanor after working 12 hours. Also, in spite of being here first, he doesn’t steal anyone else’s parking spot. The brief parking spot controversy this morning was broken by a shadowy figure emerging from the gloom, cloaked both in darkness and a red hoodie. This was the signal- it was time to begin.

    Warmarama:
    SSH
    Windmills
    Arm circles
    Cherry pickers
    Now, as the chatter rose, a confidential informant (we’ll just call him “Elliot”) murmurs an aside to YHC: when the PAX ups the chatter, it’s time to drop the hammer.

    And so began Warmarama++(AKA ”The Jurp Store Called and They’re Running out of You”):
    23 Tempo squats
    18 or so mtn climbers
    20 tempo merkins
    15 mtn climbers
    Then the rest of the Jurp on your own. (Somewhere around this time Hypotenuse appears, and YHC could go off on a tangent about that here… but we all know tangents never reference Hypotenuses.)

    With the first Jurp completed, it was time to mosey.

    The Thang:
    While actually planning a Thang of completely different proportions for this morning, YHC began to notice that certain Jurpaple exercises were actually contained within other more complicated maneuvers.
    And so, much like the hapless characters in the first half of most “how many times has this happened to you” infomercials, we would go about getting our Jurp points the hard way.

    Let me explain. No, there is too much… let me sum up:

    First, the Jurps. The Jurpee is the OG Granddaddy Longlegs of overdoing it. To this point, there was some sort of objection that “you actually get more points from Jurping than by just doing Burpees,” but luckily, YHC had the mental toughness to block that kind of positivity out. And the PAX completed the buy-in.

    21s (Curls): the bottom half of a curl 7 times, the top half of a curl 7 times, then 7 full curls. Lots of extraneous work for 7 curls. There was a bit of debate over whether ½ curl + ½ curl =1 curl. Ultimately, YHC used his executive “boat captain” power to declare only full curls are full curls. And thus, while a total of 56 additive curls were done, only 28 were scored. And there was much groaning (but not as much as there likely was after that hypotenuse joke).

    NUR one lap

    Breakdancer Merkins: “How many times has this happened to you? You’re trying to Merkin, then one arm shoots up in the air, while the opposite leg flails out in front of you?”
    Dox feigned ignorance, then took it to another level, breakdancing with Merkins in-between. YHC is pretty sure there was even a headspin in there. (Which may be why he blacked out during his performance and has no memory of it).

    Dying Cockroaches: Almost a V-up? Maybe half a V-up, and then another half? Also confusing because no two people do this exercise the same way. In fact, YHC (very awkwardly) demonstrated it, then performed it in a totally different fashion. Either way, you get zero points for whatever bastard child of a V-up this is.

    NUR! Another lap

    WWIII Situps: If you don’t hate these yet, you haven’t done enough of them. Please let YHC know.

    Goosies: Like the old saying goes: “If you wanna get some Bonnie Blair, sometimes you gotta cop a Squat for free.”

    —-End black-and-white portion of the infomercial—

    Thang 1.5 —Welcome to Oz— (the Colorized portion of the infomercial)

    Now it is time to do things the “Easy Way.” YHC offered a brief respite to recount a story… years ago, a friend, frustrated at the supermarket, was cursing at some avocados when suddenly she was approached by a strange woman. “Oh deary, calm yourself…. don’t you know about the ‘Easy Way’?”
    This was one of those seemingly innocuous statements that also sounds a lot like an invitation to join a cult. Other examples include “Come, Sit at the Welcome Table,” and “Free Men’s Workout.”

    For the remainder of the Thang, we will do only what is necessary to garner Jurp points (AKA the Easy Way)

    Now Run! Like normal human persons!

    Burpees! (some far-off mumbling again about total Burpee vs Jurpee efficiency, probably)
    Coupon Curls! YHC has to give credit to Enron for inspiring all the curls in this beatdown… he has done them in such large quantities YHC figured they might be a welcome break. YHC was wrong.

    RUN Again!

    Merkins! Regular ones, where you get points for exactly what you are doing.
    V-ups! Same!

    And, I’m sorry we are out of time.

    Animal was bestowed upon Yankee Joe.

    Dox prayed us out.

    Afterword: “High Impact Men” only begins to describe the members of this PAX. Hope you guys are as motivated by YHC as YHC is by you all. Honored to be a part of the PAX, and so thankful for those who said to YHC that fateful day, “Come, Sit at the Welcome Table”

    SYITG,
    AB

  • Gameday Training – from Enron

    It has been quite a while since YHC has been able to make it to a Saturday beatdown and even longer since having the opportunity to Q one. Therefore, YHC rolled up a little early to the Peltch to an empty parking lot scattered with shot-gunned Twisted Tea cans from what looked like a wild Friday night. 9 PAX of men pulled in shortly thereafter waiting for training camp to get started. Flag planted, let’s get this thing rolling.
    Warmarama: SSH, IW, Windmills, Self-Love, AC, Cherry Pickers, High Knees, Butt Kicks
    YHC noticed it was eerily silent during the warmup and didn’t know if it was due to the lack of Dox and Tana’s normal chatter, or the fear that was placed on the PAX from Yankee Jeaux’s description of the last “Game of Games” Q in the GroupMe.
    Thang 1: Strength Training
    To be game day ready, YHC described that there are many different forms of preparation that you must put your mind and body through. We would be working our way through each of them to make sure that the PAX was prepared for the main event at the end of today. This started off with some strength training.
    Who doesn’t like medium-roasted Jeaux in the morning? YHC explained the breakdown of what the exercises in the Jurp were for YJ since he has seemingly forgotten the movements since he wrote them down 3 weeks ago.

    20 Tempo Squats
    10 Groiners
    20 Merkins
    10 Groiners
    20 Jump Squats
    20 LBCs
    20 Leg Raises

    Rinse and Repeat

    Thang 2: Endurance Training

    After a quick debate on the best route to get a mile in, and quickly shutting down Wet Tap’s idea, the PAX began a 1-mile Indian run with the last man dropping off for 3 merkins before running to the front to choose his pace.

    Thang 3: Coordination Training
    Moseyed to the previously unused Bocce ball court for a quick game. Thanks to Goose, Pope, and Duke for allowing the use of their family game night set of Bocce Ball.

    Split into teams 1 and 2
    Rules:
    Thow out the “jack”
    Each member throws their Bocce Ball to attempt to get closest to the jack. If that ball ends up closer, the opposing team does 2 Burpees. Alternated teams until each player had thrown their ball. The team with the closest ball at the end was “rewarded” with 5 Merkins, while the losing team did 10 burpees.

    Team 2 had a commanding lead through the entire game and thought we would easily walk away with a victory. Smooth had other plans. On the last shot, he went with the perfectly placed hail Mary of a throw and knocked the Jack, and his ball, out of the cluster of other balls to take the W. Well played sir.

    Thang 4: Mental Training
    Each team lined up facing one another for a quick round of Rock paper scissors.
    The Rules:
    One game of RPS vs. each of the opposing team members
    Round one loser 1, 2=1 Bonnie Blair
    Round 2 loser 2 Bonnie Blairs
    Round 3 loser 3 and so on until all teammates have played each member of the opposing team.

    Thang 5: The main event, Gameday – Frisburpee
    Ultimate Frisbee but on every turnover the team that turned over the frisbee would drop for 2 burpees while the opposing team would do 1 merkin. In the second half this was changed to 2 Bonnie Blairs with 1 squat. Losing team did 5 Burpees per touchdown in the first half and 5 Bonnie Blairs in the second.

    This is what the PAX has been training all day for, the main event. The teams seemed relatively even though YHC was very pleased to see that both the 2.0s were on his team. 2.0 energy has been known to be a large advantage in any endurance, and running, game. This was quickly proved to be correct. After scoring the opening 6 touchdowns, team 2 was dominating the opposition. Jeaux, learned that he had to “sell out” for the frisbee, and with reckless abandon he was quickly diving all over the pitch. Pope was showing off his impressive ups and long arms for grabbing the frisbee. Duke even looked over to YHC and said “ Enron, I really like this game”. With that kind of lead, what is there not to like.
    Not so fast my friend… Team 1 quickly scored a couple TDs towards the end to even the score out (kind of). Time was called and we moseyed to the flag.

    Announcements and Goose Prayed us out. Animal was rewarded to Smooth for his ever continuing strength and drive.

    This was an awesome start to “gameday” and YHC is truly honored to be a part of this PAX and this group of High impact men. Happy to see Goldilox back in the rotation again as well. Thanks to all for making it out.

    SYITG,

    Enron

  • Glory Hogs – from Goose

    It was Day 2 of finding creative ways to rack up a ton of points in the Jurptober By-You Spreadsheet Challenge, so before it gets old, YHC decided to fill this beatdown with valuable exercises.

    As YHC and Pope parked in a relatively empty parking lot, we wondered if it’d be slim pickins for what YHC hoped would be an exciting challenge. But, AB quickly pulled up, and then Hypotenuse emerged from a truck that has not yet imprinted itself on YHC’s PAX radar. Then, thankfully, six more dudes flowed in, Honeysuckle wearing a new shirt that embodies the spirit of F3–it says “Honeysuckle” below a graphic from what looks to be an album cover from the early 70’s. Upon questioning, he revealed that Honeysuckle was/is in fact a band, but that no further details are known. By anyone.

    YHC was struck by the fact that, besides Smooth and Pope, this group was a totally different group than the one that posted yesterday morning. It’s awesome to see that we’re up to enough guys to have solid numbers despite the fact that people don’t typically post every day. But, it also meant that only the three of us would benefit from multiple days this week of jacked up beatdown points. So be it.

    After a warmup of the usuals, up to the full 20 reps since YHC is getting old, we moseyed to get coupons. Upon returning, the coupons were placed in the middle of the field so as to outline a square, about 10 yards across. After the needed two rounds of Jurps OYO, the square became a professional wrestling ring and the PAX partnered up for a Tag Team Royal Rumble. Here’s the rules:
    While Partner 1 cranked out a given exercise in the ring until he needed a break, Partner 2 ran around the track waiting to be tagged in. Exercises changed every five minutes. Men in the ring weren’t allowed to take breaks or rest–if you needed to stop/take a break, you had to run to your partner and tag him in. The Partner 2 got the chance to earn points while the timer ticked and famous “tag team” musical duos rocked the field via the power of Oontz (he did pretty well sitting up on top of a coupons).

    The exercises were: burpees, V-ups, merkins, Bonnie Blairs, Big Boi Situps, and curls. And, just like in professional wrestling, the glory only goes to the one in the ring, and though the Q clearly stated that there was to be no resting in the ring, there were still some glory hogs who seemed to be bent on intentionally robbing their partners of the opportunity to shine. This may have been because partners weren’t on the same Jurpee teams, or because of Oontz’s ability to drive men’s hearts with clarity and bass. it may have also been the quality of YHC’s Tag Team playlist, which expertly combined songs like “Whoomp, There it Is” by Tag Team, “Mrs. Robinson” by Simon and Garfunkel, and “Think About It” by Flight of the Conchords specifically to invoke the greatest possible interior response and enhance the brain’s capacity to log multiple numbers while continuing to count new reps and laps around the track (8 times = a mile). Nothing syncs the neurons like Kriss Kross followed immediately by the Dooby Brothers.

    When the sugar plant whistle blew at 6:00 (that’ll be a nice way to keep time for a few months), every man did his best to repeat his numbers in his foggy mind so they didn’t float away with the cool breeze. Circled up, counted off, Animal went to Cardinal (where it will likely hibernate for the winter), and Honeysuckle prayed us out.
    After prayer, a number of the PAX ran a few more laps to get finish out the second mile, and then we trickled out of the parking lot. Awesome work this morning, fellas! Y’all make it worth the effort!

    SYITG,
    Goose