F3 New Orleans

Tag: Smooth Operator

  • “Sweet Summer Rain…” – from Goose

    As the thunder rolled and the lightning struck starting at about 3am, YHC wondered how many more fartsackers would avoid this morning’s romp than the usual Goose-Q checkouts. But, as it strangely does on F3 mornings, the weather let up at around 5:00am, and this morning it eased to a gentle drizzle and some beautiful lightning in the distant sky. YHC couldn’t have ordered it up better, especially after the streak of stifling sizzlers we’ve been enduring for the past month or so.
    After a warmup of the usuals plus some lower back work, we moseyed to the coupon stack to grab a few. YHC stopped by the truck to grab the beautiful, readable marker board that YHC’s M prepared for this morning’s IPC prep, and we set up the easel facing the parking lot, on purpose, so everyone could read it since exercises would be done on the concrete and the grass.
    YHC is a little wary of all the HR merkins, goblet squats, and kettle bell swings that we’re destined to burn out on this coming Saturday morning, so I figured we’d utilize the opportunity to strengthen the same joints we’ll be straining since we’re five days out, enough time to grow some muscle around them.

    The board said:
    15 of each, 10 burpees, then Stop Sign run
    -HR Merkins
    -BB situps
    -Goblet Squats
    -Dips
    -OH Presses
    -Flutter kicks (4-count)
    -Kettle Bell Swings
    -10 Burpees

    And, the grind began. Lil’ Cuz brought an FNG from the far north (round Homer somewhere–newly named Barney Fife), but in my own wet fog, I didn’t see how he managed. Seemed ok at the end, though. The men were unusual quiet as they slogged through it, though YHC was grateful for Paradox’s verbosity, which served as a distraction during the runs. (It was good to have a reason to push, too–can’t have anybody too far ahead of me, and Dox was feeling froggy this morning.). Dumbledore continues to impress as he kept moving despite foggy glasses, and Cardinal stayed right behind us the entire time looking fit in that Carolina blue.

    YHC was grateful for these dudes and their willingness to grind through this wet morning. It’s an experience that’s hard to match, and it changes everything when you’re sharing it with quality men.

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • The Jurpee: Live and Deconstructed – from Yankee Joe

    Quick Note:

    Gentlemen, this beatdown was just hard. I appreciate and admire how each of you simply took care of business. Though Q-drenaline is real, I can say that when my tank is empty and my brain is lying to me, all I need to do is look around at the PAX to regain momentum. In my experience, there’s no amount of self discipline or mental toughness that can manufacture that last mile push. This is why the gym membership, by itself, will eventually fail.

    If you have not Q’d a beatdown yet, get on the books. I promise you are READY.

    The Blast
    —————————————–

    Wednesday Night – 6:45 pm

    YHC: “Hey Babe…can you come look at this beatdown design real quick?”

    M: “Sure, I can’t think of anything else that would be a better use of our time while trying to get kids ready for bed.”

    YHC: “I totally agree! Ok…do you think 200 burpees is too much?”

    M: “Honey, we talked about this. You don’t make friends by trying to hurt them.”

    YHC: “C’mon…it’s not like that…the guys will love this stuff.”

    M: “Really? Doesn’t half of F3 Thiboduax go to the same chiropractor?”

    YHC: “Umm. Actually, now that you mention it, yes…yes they do. Hey…do me a favor and don’t mention the Chiropractor thing to Paradox. He gets real sensitive about it.”

    ——————————————-

    Thursday Morning – 6:45 am

    2.0: “Daddy, are you in here? I heard noises like a dinosaur. Why are you on the floor next to the potty”

    YHC: “Hey, sweetheart. Yes, I’m fine. Daddy’s tummy is a little upset.”

    2.0: “Why?”

    YHC: “Daddy did a really hard workout this morning with lots of those burpee things I showed you.”

    2.0: “Why?”

    YHC: “I thought it would be fun.”

    2.0: “It’s not fun to hurt your friends. Did you throw up on Mr. Enron again?”

    YHC: “I did NOT throw up on Mr. Enron. How many times do I have to tell you?”

    —————————————–
    The Inspiration

    We are just mere days away from the best time of the year – The Iron Pax Challenge. The F3 Thibodaux draft class of 2023, as mentioned in prior blasts, has reshaped the PAX into a collective of bad, bad men…or bawzzz as it were – Michelin, French Horn, Michelin, Honeysuckle, America’s Best, Bone Thug, Safety Valve, and Dumbledore. This group of monsters have not experienced IPC’s path-altering power. I’m not sure about Popeye and Paradiddle since they are part of the F3 Thibby OG. Yeah, you know me.

    IPC has a way of changing a man, breaking through and shattering the false ceilings of what he thinks he can or can’t do. Lil’ Cuz and Superfund as FNG’s, were (as Dox eloquently noted) “forged” in the IPC fires. Once a week in September, with pre-blast in hand, each man voluntarily embraces a level of such exertion that chatter simply vanishes and is replaced by venomous snark.

    For those less familiar, I offer the following snapshot from various IPC beatdowns last year.

    —————————————–
    After a few minutes, you’re already in pain. You start becoming confused. You can’t understand how any actual human can do this amount of man-makers (burpees with a coupon). You think back on the F3 Greenwood pre-blast video tutorials. Ben Gay, with a smug smirk, describes the week’s torture like it’s directions for making frozen pizza. He has a few jabronies jump into frame to demonstrate like THREE REPS of the various exercises. You hate their perfect Bonnie Blair form with their stupid pumping arms. You’re like, “C’mon… if I only had to do a few reps, I could bring my ass to the ground like a catcher on a coupon thruster too.” The hate starts to consume you.

    You try not to drop your coupon on Enron’s toes after he comments on your inability to tell time (You’ll get your vengeance during the Skinny Runner IPC, watching him desperately try to use a jump rope). You see Montana waving frantically at the “we’re not worthy” station. Your legs are wet noodles, and you stumble across the field to change the song as BAPS very loudly blares that particularly offensive (and REPEATING) lyric in Rage’s “Killing in the Name.” Why? Because there’s a Family Fun Run at the Peltch. Moms are blushing. Kids are crying. Dads are moshing.

    You’re out of breath…there is no side conversation. You see Cardinal toss his coupon 10 yards after each set, disgusted by the very nature of the beatdown design. You think to yourself that there hasn’t been something this awful since the casting tragedy for High King Peter in the Narnia movies. They might as well have cast Jar Jar. At least Jar Jar had a story arc of growth and purpose. King Peter enters the plot as a douche wagon…and well, upgrades to a minivan.

    You look over, marveling at how Goose and Wet Tap can be so far ahead of everyone else…hoping deep down that you’ll catch them executing poor form. You hear ‘Lil Cuz lament that he should have taken the glove recommendation seriously, and yet he’s still plowing through with bloody, blistery hands. You know that Paradox typically takes off his shirt when a beatdown starts getting serious…about half way through. This day, you’re horrified to see him lose the shirt, and we’re only five minutes in. Instead of running between exercises, you’re shuffling like a prisoner with ankle cuffs on. It’s like the opening scene in “Saving Private Ryan.” Everything sounds warped like you’re underwater. You think, “ I can’t keep going…not even one more rep. Not one more step.”

    But you’re wrong. You CAN do more reps. And you do them. Then time is called and it’s over. Suddenly, you love everything and everyone. You praise F3 Greenwood for their misunderstood creativity. You spit out endorphin laced Dad jokes and everyone laughs. It’s an emotional and physical rollercoaster. IPC is where YHC turned the corner in F3. I’ve been waiting so patiently. It really is the best time of the year.
    ————————————-

    So….

    The On Ramp

    14 PAX showed up to the Den on a Thursday morning. Today was forecast to set heat index records. By 5:15 am, the heat index was already 90 degrees. The humidity was hovering around 70%. As French Horn would say, “Bruhhhh…it was nastayyy.” Before getting out of the douche wagon, America’s Best presented YHC with his ‘hot off the press’ prescription glasses. This exceptional customer service wouldn’t save him from the morning’s misery, but I did feel a little guilty if that counts for anything. The only other medical professional I’ve known that offers such unparalleled customer satisfaction is a Chiropractor in Raceland. (That noise you’re hearing? Bad words being yelled in Homerican…)

    The PAX seemed oddly quiet. Was it because YHC’s subtle pre-hype about burpees wasn’t so subtle? Was it because they heard YHC talking to Goose about doing Goosey’s (bonnie blair with squat jump) as a MODIFICATION? Perhaps it was because the SV500 tank top club is super elitist and the rest of us felt left out. Who’s to say? With French Horn posting two days in a row, however, James Hetfield would insist nothing else matters.

    Usual warmarama with some extra arm and hamstring stretches, then off to the lighted tennis/pickleball courts where BAPS awaited us with superior sound quality and epic beats.

    Our rev up song was “Call On Me” by Eric Prydz. The PAX would do Burpees on “Call On Me,” recover in between. There were 51 burpee opportunities. At this point, there was still minimal chatter. The pace was fast between burpee triggers. In fact, “Call On Me” are the only words in the song. The men were beasts. YHC was not.

    ————————————-
    The Thang

    For the main event, we put together a deconstructed burpee with some core. The objective was to mimic the AMRAP nature of many IPC beatdowns. YHC would set the clock for 20 minutes and the PAX would complete as many rounds as possible in that time. Following the lead of Ben Gay, YHC demonstrated the various exercises in three-rep increments. The PAX was not pleased to learn that the actual rep count was 20 for each exercise. YHC did his best to soften the misery with a carefully curated EDM playlist.

    The Deconstructed Jurpee – AMRAP rounds for 20 min. (goal of 5 rounds)

    20 medium slow and low squats
    20 groiners
    20 merkins
    20 groiners
    20 jump squats with arms raised
    20 LBC’s
    20 leg raises

    Per usual, I looked across the circle to see Goose, Wet Tap, and Pope breezing through the rounds. Honeysuckle looked almost bored, but sweating profusely, nonetheless. Smooth was grinding as always, shirt off, and knocking out merkins like it was nothin’. Safety Valve continues to impress and looks similar to Paradiddle with his methodical (and dare I say, perfect) form. Cardinal was straight up working! With a focused, stoic expression, he was not shying away from one of the things he hates most in life…the burpee (a close second to misguided telecommunications consumer choices).

    Heck, even Montana’s form wasn’t criminal. All the more impressive considering that a burpee is not really conducive to being 6’ 7.” Every time YHC looked over at Paradox, he just “happened” to be doing leg raises, but I’m sure that’s just a coincidence. However, he was the biggest cheerleader of the playlist, which I genuinely appreciate considering I spent 45 minutes trying to find the perfect EDM cover of “Wellerman.”

    ————————————–
    YHC called time and with six minutes left in the beatdown, two options were planned…Mary or another longish song with burpee triggers. It was safe to say that the AMRAP deconstructed burpee had served its purpose. Except for Pope, the rest of us were wet toast. I offered ONLY the latter option to the PAX. I have no doubt that internally, each of us thought it was as dumb an idea as remaking Willow. Lucasfilm, that’s enough. Haven’t you hurt society enough? Audibly though, to a man, all chose death over cake.

    So, burpees for every male chorus response. 53 triggers to be exact. With the Pet Shop Boys reinvigorating our souls, the PAX did four minutes of “Go West” before time was called and we moseyed back to a sullen Aslan. No doubt lamenting his choice of High King.

    COT, the ANIMAL and GiGi tanks were nowhere to be seen, and Goose prayed us out.

    ———————————-

    Have a Cup of Jeaux

    I’m going to leave this here…

    Episodes 1 – 3 should be stricken from the record. Completely. Never happened. Do it again. George Lucas can hang out on set, but he gets zero input on the writing.

    If you don’t know what Episodes 1 – 3 refers to, ignorance is literally bliss. If you liked Episodes 1 – 3, you’re probably High King Peter.

    SYITG,

    Jeaux

  • You Got Goose-Diddled! – from Goose

    The GroupMe was eerily silent last night/this morning for two reasons:

    1. French Horn had laid down a stronger than usual commitment post, and though many doubted, and many wrote and then deleted hilarious comments stating such thoughts, nobody wanted to discourage what looked to be an actually possible showing by the long-absent, greatly missed, mop-topped, boat-conceived youngster. Couldn’t risk that.

    2. Paradiddle was on the list to Q, but no hype had been posted by the ‘stached bandit nor any comment acknowledging the inevitable. Many wrote and then deleted requests for hype or temperature checks due to the fear that has now been associated with tank-tops, mouth-brows, and a white-capped abundance of hair.

    YHC thought there might be a small chance that Diddle had forgotten amidst his wild schedule, but wasn’t necessarily prepped with a back-pocket Q. Thoughts between waking and arriving had fluttered around Dilly’s spoken desire to complete grades 7-10 (left incomplete during his back to school Billy Madison Q) and memories from last year’s IPC, specifically the “Death by Skinny Runner” beatdown. So, when 5:15 arrived, and there was no Diddle, the site-Q (YHC) got excited at the opportunity to channel the inner Diddle and combine it with a little Goose-flavor and some IPC prep.

    A long warmup was needed after Smooth’s monster coupon routine yesterday, and this gave YHC some time to put the pieces together. Enron suggested the Deck o’ Death, which put the finishing touch on it, especially since YHC had also just attained some workout dice that were itching for some concrete.

    Warmups: the usual suspects plus Willy Maes Hayes and Toe Touches (bend down, touch toes, then come up and touch waist, then up straight onto toes with hands in the air = 1). Every vehicle that pulled into the neighborhood was taken to be Diddle coming in hot, but the hopes (or fears) never materialized. YHC then led a bumper to Stop sign to flag mosey to get the PAX familiar with the distance, cuz…

    Thang:
    One (or two) exercises followed by a quarter mile run, which happens to be the exact distance of the bumper to stop sign to flag loop. But, this would be a race, and the winner got to pick the next break…er, exercise. The winner could pick an exercise of their choosing or elect to roll the dice (three dice–one with reps/time and two with exercises) or pick two cards.

    Pope won the first one (though Honeysuckle was right behind him) and chose low-slow squats to give the PAX a breather. Smooth made it known that now that he was comfortable with the route, he’d be smoking us all, and though he started strong with a powerful sprint on the next lap (and every one after that), long distances remain his kryptonite.

    YHC won the next, (though Honeysuckle was right behind him) and we rolled the dice landing on 90 seconds of squats and penguins. The three minutes were greatly appreciated, but at this point, it had become clear that any hope of real recovery between laps was unrealistic.

    The next one was won by Honeysuckle (with Pope right behind him) who seemed to be set up to Q the rest of the beatdown, and he chose Freddy’s, which went way too fast.

    Next lap was Pope again (though Honeysuckle was right behind him) and he went with a couple of cards: 16 Bonnies (1:1) and a Joker, which he turned into a 60 second Mission Impossible plank (still better than running).

    Honeysuckle took the next (surprise, surprise) and went for a dice roll in hopes that two exercises would take longer than one (and that burpees wouldn’t come up) and the risk paid off. 30 reps of leg raises and wife pleasers.

    The last lap took off at 5:57, and many of the men must have seen the time, because the performances were impressive. YHC finished first, but Yankee Joe had joined Honeysuckle and Pope right behind him, again revealing that he’s got more gas in the tank than he lets on. PAX planked until the 6 arrived, and it was 6:00.

    All in all, YHC was extremely impressed by this crew’s resilience as they pushed hard each lap. Seriously, though Pope and Honeysuckle put the bar nice and high, the rest of the bunch weren’t too far behind–every time. T-claps to Enron, YJ, and Paradox, for some noticeable pushes, and Smooth for being first off the line every time.

    More T-claps to the impressive level of mumblechatter this morning despite the lung-busting, leg-deadening work. Unfortunately, YHC’s memory has been affected by the post-beatdown brain fog, so the only one that comes to mind was Enron’s comment as we were lining up for lap 4 or 5. YHC’s hand had substantially brushed a particularly sensitive area as we crowded to be first in line, and he immediately came out with, “Man, I goosed AND diddled in one beatdown!” YHC couldn’t breathe, and it almost sabotaged the lap.
    If you remember more gems, please post them in the GroupMe to make up for YHC’s inability to immortalize them here.

    COT and Paradox prayed us out.

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • The 2nd Annual St. Vincent 500 – from Paradox

    THE FELLOWSHIP THANG

    Often times during large events there are pivotal moments that go unnoticed. One minuscule decision where success or failure hinges upon a singular action. Sometimes these remain in the dark. An unsung hero never revealed. Silently knowing the weight of their contribution. But during the 2nd annual St Vincent 500 this very thing occurred and today we shall shed the light.

    Ya see, It was early during the St. Vincent 500 cookout on Friday evening, the music was fine (shoutout Caniacs) and the delicious jambalaya was flowing, courtesy of Headcheese and the Bourgeois Meat Market. Just one small problem,…We …well folks we had a trash issue. In haste YHC had mistakenly grabbed bathroom trash bags to put into 32-gallon trash cans. Ya hate to see it.
    The jambalaya plates were stacking up. The bags stretched thin. Lil Cuz disgusted he could not throw away his plate and immediately eat another and you know how he gets when he’s hungry for JUMBOlaya!
    All seemed lost.

    With the event Teetering on the brink of mass hysteria I heard a low confident voice at my shoulder. A voice molded by years of unheard lectures, it was calm and consoling.
    “Dox, take deep a deep breath, I can fix this”
    I turned and saw it in his eyes, this man was all in.

    “Fly! Fly like the wind Jeaux! You are our only hope!” I yelled as the tires of the douche wagon squealed silently and our knight in the blue Prius faded away on eastbound 308.
    We held our breath ..…

    If you are still with me (and it’s an excused absence if not)
    You may now be asking yourself “What does an eco-friendly sedan and a garbage mishap have to do with the greatest beatdown fundraiser west Lafourche has ever seen?”

    Well…everything

    Duke! Roll that footage it’s time to go racing, and we have a pharmacy in need !!

    26 High impact men assembled at the Stage for the 2nd annual St Vincent 500.
    Our local crew showed up in force early to set the course. Pretty sure Smooth camped out like Woodstock, living on Bourgeois Jambalaya and dat Dawg was STILL hungry for coupon OHPs. Many hands made light work as we counted our pennies and made notes to all our 2.0 investors that their tuppens would be well borrowed. Our brothers from the north and south shores soon arrived. Some early chatter that the noted absences from NOLA were due to late night promo code camp outs for the T-Swift tour. YHC will expect courtesy tickets for …”a friend”

    The Northshore gang rolled in just in time. The legend of Tanked Up had been propelled all year after his awe inspiring performance at the 22 SV. He strolled in trophy in hand with Grundy at his side using the Theragun with precision intimidation to all our pax. Reluctant Yankee and Sandbar came in strong followed by Zoolander with Blue steel good looks even at 6:30a. Just like that it was go time!

    THE FITNESS THANG

    The Stage was set, and Goose was elected as Q for his exemplary public speaking and dashing short shorts. He led us in a thorough race explanation and warmup with side glances at Yankee about to establish a no tolerance policy for shakira shimmy Bonnie Blair’s.

    The race is a 2 man event covering 1 mile with 20 exercise stations interspersed on the course around Richman’s loop. Just a simple fun run ya know.
    You have 1 hour to traverse the course and at each station picking up points as you go.
    There are three levels at each station : gold(25) silver (15) bronze (10) with 500 points available if your dare.

    The stations set by Goose this year and he was in the zoneeee:

    Thrusters: 30, 60, 90
    · Hello Dollys: 50, 100, 150
    · Curls: 50, 150, 250
    · Burpees: 30, 50, 100
    · WWI situps: 40, 100, 150
    · Genuflections: 40, 60, 100
    · Tricep extensions: 50, 150, 250
    · Gas pumps: 40, 80, 120
    · Apolo Onos (2:1): 40, 60, 100
    · Moroccan Night Clubs (2:1): 100, 200, 300
    · Pickle Pounders: 40, 80, 120
    · Monkey humpers (calves to thighs): 40, 100, 200
    · Coupon OHP: 40, 80, 120
    · Leg Raises: 50, 100, 200
    · Bobby Hurleys: 40, 80, 120
    · Chill cut Peter Parkers (2:1): 30, 60, 100
    · Freddy Mercurys (2:1): 50, 150, 250
    · Bonnie Blairs (2:1): 40, 80, 120
    · Partner Dora (bumper)—Suicide, Mission Impossible plank: 2 rounds for each partner (4 rounds total), 4 rounds for each (8 total), 6 rounds for each (12 total); if need to rest on plank, have to tell running partner to pause
    · Partner Dora (grass)—Lunge Walk there, run back; SSH: 200, 300, 400

    We wrapped up the instructions and warmup and there were no more pleasantries to exchange. Time to go racing.
    The horn blew at 7:22a with most functional teams ready to go at their stations and 1-2 dysfunctional relationships lost at sea.

    Team points and observations below (to my best recollection of the points I jotted down and names, if this is incorrect please write your Representative)

    Dox/ Gecko 175
    We came, We saw…We got a lot of pennies.
    Got Gecko on my 1997 Creatine and peanut butter sandwich diet…early favorites for 2033.

    Dumbledore/GIJoe 180
    Classic pairing here of a rookie with untapped potential and the OG of Ogs, veteran GI Joe. Can we talk about Dumbledores first two posts: A Thursday paradiddle followed by the SV500 would make most veterans reconsider their C’s or HC’s but he silently showed up and put in some absolute work! Killer postfolio hes building.
    Also tons of local reports out of 12 Cedars that Joe has ditched the golf clubs and has been black ops prepping on the streets of Thibodaux. Don’t call it a comeback this man is a regular. #GIJOE4LYFE

    Wet Tap/Spec 200
    Unstoppable forces plowing through immovable objects. These men will humbly do goblet squats for weeks before realizing the rest of us were squatting air.
    Team “Don’t Weaken” lived up to the family creed. Great effort.

    Michelin/Percolator 205
    Team shake and bake coming in hot with Percs OG knowledge all the way from BR. Michelin transforming into a coupon OHP machine in front of our eyes. Ya love to see it. Great to catch up with ya Perc!

    Smooth/Suckle 295
    Officially dubbed Thunder and Lightning these men were a true combination of Rottweiler and Greyhound. HS gets to tell all his ultra friends he did a “1 mile fun run” and Smooth lifted a combined 18-wheeler worth of coupons. Well done.

    Safety Valve/ Cardinal 310
    In most prison movies theres a scene where a old inmate teaches a new guy the ropes. Cardinal fell right into his role here teaching valve the “proper” form on coupon avoidance techniques and how to ask extra questions to buy yourself a ten count. Valve continued to display his quiet strength and running prowess.

    Sandbar/Reluctant Yankee 325
    (*this was a ballpark # recorded post-race and if yall had different, chime in)

    Team Southshore, making it look easy! T-claps to you gents for making the drive, especially for RY for making the early haul after taking his 2.0 to college the night before. Southshore was well represented and we always enjoy the Yankee drop-ins during holidays.

    Cuz/Popeye 325
    Nice performance here from Team Yeet ‘Em and Street Em. Popeye already solidified as the comeback performance of the ’23 pax year and even further padding his stats while carrying Cuz. Don’t get me wrong Cuz was putting in the work, just seemed distracted asking YHC why we couldn’t add the Punisher symbol to the SV500 logo. #TundraTough…. It’s a lifestyle.

    Ronnie/YJ 355
    Many high level analyst saying YJ exercised the demons of 2022 with the tremendous ab and leg prep May – August and despite cranking tents and tables all day on Friday both these men laid down game day strains. Ronnie looking jacked Diesel in that tank sonnn.

    Goose/Zoolander 380
    YHC was setup behind the form as impeccable (as expected) but the push to get the next level (silver to gold) was inspiring. Just two great Pax leaders ripping burpees or was it a Calvin Klein commercial.

    Pope/Paradiddle- 425
    For real, For real! When YHC heard earlier in the week this team was pairing up I had them pegged as a dark horse pick. Pope has shown many traits of having dat dawggg this year and its been so awesome watching him grow and having him at weekday beatdowns.
    If you aren’t local and don’t know the maniac formerly known as Diddle let me read you his bio….

    Favorite song: Numb- Linkin Park
    Likes: Cardio
    Dislikes: Ppl who dislike Cardio
    Hometown: Zone 5 and He’s the Mayor

    These men represented the Thib pax to the last rep and YHC couldn’t be prouder. This will be a team to watch for years to come.

    THE CHAMPS….

    When the dust settled we had 3 teams that separated themselves from the pack. In a photo finish Tanked and Grundy retained the SV500 title narrowly escaping the youthful legs of Pope and Paradiddle. Leading the youth division (under 18) Redfish/Coyote with an impressive 500 points. The future is bright for these 2.0 studs.

    Tanked Up/ Grundy 435
    Incredibly impressive, especially with the tweaks Goose built this year. Station 19 and 20 Doras were both physically and psychologically punishing. Tclaps to the gentlemen for continuing to rep the Northshore. See you next year!!!

    After copious amounts of water/ Gatorade and shaking off heat stroke symptoms we wrapped up with COT and Cardinal Prayed us out.

    Coffeeteria with donuts provided by St. Vincent pharmacy staff and volunteers.
    I will pass along the gratitude from the entire St. Vincent pharmacy staff and board in thanking everyone involved in this event and fundraising endeavor. It’s been 2 years since we started discussing ways to help with the pharmacy after the devastation of Hurricane Ida and continued strain from the pandemic and I could have never imagined this level of support from F3 and the community. I’m proud to announce that with our contributions this year ($9517.50) we have raised over $20, 000 in the last 2 years for the pharmacy to continue to provide for people in need of life-saving medications. Looking forward to continuing to find ways to support this great organization.

    Epilogue

    THE FAITH THANG

    The heaping trash continued to tumble out of the micro trash bag and the tension was palpable. No one had seen this much garbage since the Naboo storyline in Episode 1 (RIP Jar Jar). Soon the sheer amount of plastic would overtake our oxygen supply. YHC was grasping at straws. We had to keep our composure. Cardinal was even running diversion tactics by introducing new schisms to the pax. “Hey you guys know how pirogue is pronounced??”
    And just when we had reached our darkest hour there came the return of the silent sedan over the hill like Gandalf into Helms deep. In place of a blazing white staff he proceeded to unveil the largest trash bag ever created on planet earth. We placed the entire events trash inside and it still looked empty. What and why this unit of plastic could be used for, other than oceans of trash, is beyond me. When Jeaux was pressed about it he only mumbled something about his affairs in international waters not being my business. He silently went on about his duty of peddling event t-shirts and correcting form. Not all heroes bring hefty’s.

    So here’s the very thing about the men of F3 Thibodaux. Ask them to grab a trash bag and they bring you TrashZilla Rex, the king of all trash. Need a JUMBolaya pot? Here’s one you can swim in! Need 1-2 ice chests? Ho Hum, here’s 5 Yetis all 30A approved. Ask them to do burpees, why not Kraken Burpees on emom timer. Ask them for stretching and you get a Diddle death march.

    And how about ask them to support a charity pharmacy in 115 heat indices with a back-to-back 2 day event?? One that has been there for so many in need for 2 decades and needed that same support. Well, you already know how that ends. The chips are low, a wolf at the door or a man alone in the darkness and these pax will stand up and serve those less fortunate. I could not be prouder to stand beside them.

    SYITG,

    Paradox

  • MAX mobility – from Paradox

    9 men wobbled in and huddled around the gloom early at the stage today. Just 48 hours since the bodily devastation of the SV500 we needed immediate distraction, and this was provided listening to the latest chapter in the Life and Times of Cardinal.

    “I woke up Sunday and it was the strangest thing, like my whole body wasn’t moving right and everything hurt. ” Cardinal explained while poking his muscles and testing these claims.

    YHC questioned further… “were you …umm…perhaps sore?”

    “Sore? Like a boil on my skin? ” He asked, still perplexed and searching the Cardinal lexicon for this foreign term.

    YHC sighed and got ready to break the news.

    “Well, you see after you turn 30 your body slowly tries to kill you each and every day especially if you exceed your limit of physical exertion. They call this state of being sore.

    Cardinal : ..

    YHC: ..

    Cardinal : well I guess I was sore , I’ll try my best to never feel that ever again.

    And just like that Mobility Monday was born…

    Duke! get the WD40 and K tape it’s time to fix some bo Bo’s
    and roll the footage.

    Warmups

    SSH

    Abe Vigodas

    IW extra slow

    Bat Wings:

    Leave them up gosh darn it !!

    AC , CP, Seal Jacks , OHClaps, seal jacks

    MC

    Mosey to bumper with some concerned side glances that we would unearth the newly minted coupon bunker.

    Not today men, let those Koopas cool down, they still hawt from Saturday.

    We continued our series with Volume 2 of Men of Courage Mondays as today is the feast day of St Max Kolbe. A Polish priest and Franciscan friar who among many other amazing works substituted his life for another man’s during imprisonment at Auschwitz.

    So Todays Acronym was MAX:

    First , the M…the Mobility Mile

    Mosey Richmans loop and we stomped out those spicy ant devils on the way as retribution for Popeyes riddled calves.

    We ran the mile and stopped for 4 mobility stations interspersed with audible groaning, creaking, pops, clicks, sharts, Hoosker dos, hoosker donts and even a few whistling kitty chasers. It was a deep burn and we all felt better for it:

    1. ) 1 minute
    Hold side plank

    Right arm up then through

    Left side

    Right hand on hand and pull through

    Left side

    2. )1 minute: Downward dog, alternate calf stretch and Cat/Cow ( 1 minute )

    3. ) 1 minute: Plank and hip stretch , outside, inside, inside outside

    4. 1 minute Side lunge stretch with sumo squat

    As a humorous interlude YHC shared the story of looking for a St Kolbe book in Barnes and Nobles only to have the clerk think that Kobe Bryant had been canonized.

    Not yet Kobe, not yet. (he had shaq and MJ only had Pippen so….)

    YHC introduced an F3 Thibodaux classic …Basketball Jones.

    We would alternate between all levels of a squat every time we heard the word Basketball.

    I’ll give the men at home a sample :

    “Yes i was a victim of basketball Jones

    In fact I was the baddest dribbler in the whole wide world

    I loved my basketball ball.

    That basketball was like a basketball to me…”

    It went on like that for 4 minutes and YHC pulled the plug early.

    Because sometimes you just have to set a pick when you on the give and go of life.

    Today we were all victims of the basketball Jones.

    On to the ABS (the A of mAx)

    St Max Feast day is Aug 14 (today) The day of his death 8-14-41 and canonized in 1982 so we clearly had to work the COREners and look for cobwebs.

    8 bbsu

    14 crunchy frogs

    41 Freddy Merk

    82 LBCs

    This was completed in 4 corners or “7s “ formatting. Dumbledore was feeling the crunchy frogs and Goose assured him he would gain abs of steel as he advanced in the F3 school of witchcraft and wizardry.

    To finish the MAX we needed an X

    X Wings Flora

    Partner up

    100 merkins , 20 each set while P2 x wings

    200 MC (40 each set while P2 X wings)

    Great push here to ramp up the cardio on the MCs. Paradiddle barely made it out of Zone 1 but his joints will thank me when he’s still mosh pitting at 65. The pax will rest easy tonight knowing that Cardinal discovered soreness and mobility training in the same calendar year!

    COT with special intentions for Bones recovery

    Dumbledore prayed us out.

    Always a great privilege to lead you men.

    “Let us remember that love lives through sacrifice and is nourished by giving…Without sacrifice there is no love.” – St. Maximillian Kolbe

    St Max Kolbe, Pray for us!

    SYITG

    Dox

  • Chlorophyll? More Like Borophyll. – from Paradiddle

    Coming off of a week long hiatus, YHC was excited to be back for a beat down. Not knowing where to turn, but knowing that the SV 500 lay around the corner, YHC consulted with none other than Goose to try and collect some intel on the possible beatdown. YHC was determined to try to prepare the PAX for lay ahead. After turning to the exicon for some inspiration, none other than a childhood favorite of Billy Madison would be the source of inspiration for the punishment that lay ahead.

    YHC was coming in hot this morning from Houma, and he arrived with only a few minutes to spare. The PAX were already assembled upon his arrival. Mumble chatter was low, and as YHC approached, silence fell over the men. DJ DOX would be needed for his duties this morning. Yankee Joe was quick to offer BAPS as the source of sound, even though YHC offered Burrito Supreme who was nestled in the truck. Let a man do his thing. BAPS to the rescue, and rescue us he would. But wait…who is that?! Out of the gloom came G.I. Joe – a legend of sorts in these swamps.

    We began the warmup with the usual SSH, grass grabbers w a clap, windmills, circles, cherry pickers, high knees, and mountain climbers.

    The pax would then mosey with a coupon to the breezeway at E.D. White, where the thang would be explained.

    The Thang
    Taking the advice of Goose (one hour, no breaks), YHC explained the Billy Madison.

    We would work our way through each of the numbered school grades, only to then have to repeat them as Billy does (to prove to his dad he’s not a fool). Each grade would have 12 reps of one exercise, followed by a run to St. Joseph Elementary and back to the breezeway at ED White. Once back to the breezeway, you would repeat all the previous grades, making your way all the way to 12th grade. (1st grade, 1st + 2nd grade, 1st + 2nd + 3rd grade, 1st + 2nd + 3rd + 4th grade, etc.)

    So the grades would go:
    1st – Burpees
    2nd – Bonnie Blairs
    3rd – Declined Merkins
    4th – Grainers
    5th – Kettle bell swings
    6th – Thrusters (do it for Tap)
    7th – goblet squats
    8th – Peter Parkers
    9th – OH Press
    10th – Russian Twists w/ coupon
    11th – Hernia (V-Ups w/ coupon)
    12th – Dips

    The Pax soon discovered that the run to St. Joseph would be their reprieve, a chance to catch your breathe, swallow the puke, and try and salivate to keep from dry heaving (please tell me it wasn’t only me). With a strong start, everyone stayed together through third grade. Coyote set the pace for the 2.0’s, with Pope offering insight into his actual schedule for his upcoming school year. Lil Cuz, YJ, and America’s Best led helped to set the pace for the majority of the pax with a strong and consistent showing. YHC was terrified of the first impression he was leaving on Safety Valve. Smooth, as always, kept the run fun with the boys. YHC is sure that the convo shared between Dox and Gecko is one in reference to “that man”. Goose helped YHC set the pace, but in reality YHC was fighting to keep up through those coupon swings. A high school inspired playlist from some of the pax helped us along, and we needed all the help we could get. Imagine not having MMMBOP to get us through the sixth round of burpees?

    The Pax would make it halfway through 7th grade before time would force us to call it quits. A slow, silent mosey back to the flag and YHC desperately just wanted a cooldown walk. But the PAX pushed back and asked for three minutes of Mary. Freddie Merc’s, flutters, and ABC… (just three letters). The counting of this morning is all the evidence one would need to prove that the PAX desperately needed to repeat their grade. Now the only thing to do is make through the remaining grades at an undetermined date in the future.

    An impressive showing of 16 men this morning who came out, showed up, and put up with the shenanigans of a Saturdiddle. Til next time… or til next Saturday when we kinda have to do something similar again…but at least there will be breakfast.

    SYITG,
    Paradiddle

  • Two-fer One; We Belong Together (by Dox AND Goose) – from Paradox

    Opener: Dox
    2 roads diverged in then den
    And sorry YHCc could not travel both
    And being 2 pax long they stood
    Until 8 more HCs knew they should
    Cardinals claim,  was it right and just?
    The answer is no but the CoQ was a must
    Yet knowing how way leads to way
    We’ll keep his Q for another day
    The CoQs built a beatdown rep by rep
    There’s  a big race coming we still need the prep …

    Duke! Stop ripping off Bob Frost and roll that beautiful footage

    Warmup: Goose
    When the Cardinal-ready PAX heard that YHC and Dox were co-Q-ing, there was an astonished moment of silence. Was this scientifically possible? Two heavy hitters with two very different styles; both frighteningly all-in, tall, and good looking, but was there room in one beatdown for both? What would happen? It was like putting a gorilla in a pen with a walrus, or an alligator with a jaguar, or a bull and a bear, or a shark and Mike Tyson. Could they join forces, or would they just stare at each other wondering what move the other would make?
    Ultimately, it was a mixture of both as YHC told Paradox to come up with his usual warmup mashup ridiculousness, while I went the practical route. But, after the forward arm circle/high knees, it seemed only appropriate to match the Yin with the Yang and do backward arm circle butt kicks. This then led to P-dox leading self-love lunges, which, of course, was followed by YHC’s Moroccan Night Club Windmills. The chemistry had begun, and there was no stopping the fallout.

    Song 1: Paradox
    The coQs had a few jams planned to get the muscles loose. YHCc wanted to started with “Move Along”  by All American Rejects as a tribute to moving along from last years SV500 trauma and to talk about the first time I was dumped. Did I cry in my 02 Chevy blazer with the factory 10s?  (I kept them clean)
    Yes
    Did my now ex girlfriends dad have to jumpstart my car after the battery died in their driveway. Also yes
    But here I am after Moving along and better for it and this was my hope for the pax.
    We released the pain with hand release Merkin burpees on each “move along” and let the pain tears flow on the concrete.
    Popeye is our local burpee variation expert and I could see he appreciated it a lot.

    Song 2: Goose
    One of YHC’s fondest memories from when I was a student at LSU was the time spent in shared suffering with good brothers at the Rec Center gym. We enjoyed quality time together most days, working out before heading to class. This included a refreshing shower surrounded by mostly old men who tended to clear out relatively quickly not long after we arrived. It might have had something to do with the singing, but the jury is still out. We gravitated mostly to 80’s hits, our favorite being “We Belong” by Pat Benitar, which we sung with all the passion we could muster after a tough workout in a strikingly accurate pitch.
    YHC figured we could harness that same energy this morning to bring a sense of belonging to the PAX, especially after Dox’s story of isolation and whoa.
    We split into groups of three (one with four), and laid down with our heads together looking at the stars. The PAX were then directed to hold six inches (Legs, Yankee Joe. Get your “belonging” straight.) for the duration of the song, and execute a leg raise for every “belong”, touching toes together at the top.
    It was good. It was really good.

    First Thang: Dox
    The SV 150
    Mosey to the basketball court and partner up
    Buy in was 1 full suicide to get to the signs at the other end of the court, and after completing the chosen number of sets (given on the sign) frog hop back to get your bling

    Bronze: 10 points
    Silver: 15
    Gold: 25

    Stations for your choosing:
    1 Bobby Hurleys
    2 SSH
    3 freddy mercuries
    4 mountain climbers
    5 leg raise Dora with fence run
    6 Bonnie Blairs

    You cannot repeat a station and
    10 minute timer till we had a winner

    This went along with what YHC planned for a cardio torcher mixed with some core work. As always, it was great to be under the watchful Eye of Yankee “Sauron” Joe for an iron sharpening form critique. Great team efforts across the board. The jello legs set in very quick with frog hops and huge T – claps to Safety Valve his 4th in a row post and for continuing to pretend that being YHC’s partner is a good time.
    In the end Team Ronnie/Jeaux rekindled that old flame from last years fling to take 1st place with 100 points.
    YJ conquered his inner zinc demons and was all about the Climb  with his new found knowledge that Miley Cyrus and Hanna Montana are the same person (not a Finkle/Einhorn situation).

    Second Thang: Goose
    We gathered ALL the gear and headed back to the flag. Again, YHC had to decide between a practical grinder of 11’s, or a fun, yet challenging competition. And, again, the chemistry took over, so the fun spirit of competition continued.
    YHC grabbed some baseballs (actual baseballs, YJ) as the PAX split into new teams of three. Each team got a ball, and YHC introduced Rarajipari, a game in which teams run and kick a ball a given distance. The only rule given this morning were that the ball couldn’t be kicked by the same PAX twice. The starting line was the entrance driveway, and we had to kick it around the civic center to the mouth of the opposite driveway (a little over a quarter mile, I think). And, since it only took five minutes to complete this, we turned around and took it back the other way (to the delight of all).
    Athleticism was helpful, and endurance was a must, but the drive to get to the ball was the ultimate factor in this one. Most ran the loop faster than they otherwise would have–this caused the PAX (minus those who had attended the NOLA convergence a couple of years ago) to be surprised at how physically demanding this game is. Ultimately, though, since this crew was made up of some very driven men, it seemed that the soccer skills of Yankee Joe and Safety Valve were the deciding factor in giving their team the win. (YHC could get to the ball but couldn’t seem to kick it more than three feet, and even then, in an unhelpful direction.)

    COT, Valve got the loaded GiGi, and Pope prayed us out.

    Conclusion: Dox

    I shall be telling this with a sigh
    At some AO ages and ages hence
    The men of F3 take the road less traveled
    And that has made all the difference

  • Outlive & the 4 Pillars of Exercise Fitness – from Enron

    YHC has been on a recent journey to learn more about the health secrets to longevity, and more importantly how to live out a longer health span and not just lifespan. Two potentially very different things. After some push from his concierge service PCP, or at least a guy that claims to be a doctor (we all know his M is the actual physician), he picked up a book called Outlive by Dr. Peter Attia. A great read I might add. Although, admittingly only the first 100 pages of over 490 pages have been read so far, YHC thought it would be a good thing to pass some of the preliminary information on to the remainder of the PAX. Therefore the 4 pillars of exercise fitness were created, well more like repeated, and copied from someone much smarter.

    YHC arrived early to write down some lists on an “exercise board”, which was just a piece of construction paper after an unwanted spring-cleaning event removed the dry erase board that was perfect for these things …. But I digress. The PAX quickly started to arrive, and by the time the beatdown started we were 9 strong at the Stage.

    An Introduction to the 5 Tactics of the Longevity Toolkit were quickly listed as follows and a short description of each was given:
    1)Nutation Biochemistry
    2) Exercise Fitness
    3) Sleep
    4) Distress Tolerance
    5) Drugs, Supplements, and Hormones

    Because we aren’t coming to the stage to eat (not this week at least) or sleep (although Tana looked like he might still be halfway there), YHC informed the PAX we would be covering the 4 pillars of exercise fitness as it applies to longevity training. Those four pillars are different types of exercise training that should be completed on a weekly basis and are as follows:

    1) Zone 2 Training – keeping heart rate at 60-70% of your max consistently through an exercise. Another way to judge if you are in zone 2 heart rate is if you can still carry a conversation while performing the level of exercise.
    2) Strength
    3) Stability
    4) V02 Max or Zone 5 Training – This is maximum effort and 90-100% of Max Heart Rate training.
    As a certain “doctor” once said, “Duke, lets get this show on the road.”
    Warmup:
    SSH, Windmills, Arm Circles, Cherry Pickers, IW, Willie Mays Hayes, Self-Love

    ZONE 2 Training:
    Mosied for a mile while keeping conversation for the duration of the jog. This was approximately a 10–11-minute mile pace. We ended up getting going a little fast, and every person will be different from a heart rate standpoint.

    Strength Training:
    Broke out the coupons and did the following exercises in order for 2 rounds.
    5 Man Makers
    10 Overhead Press
    15 Kettle Bell Swings
    20 Coupon Bench Press
    25 Merkins
    30 Goblet Squats
    35 Curls
    40 LBCs

    Stability Training:
    The following were meant to be performed until failure, but due to time constraints and Goose’s ability to do each of these for way too long, we completed a minute of each of the following:
    1) Hold Al Gore
    2) Mission Impossible Plank
    3) 6-inch Hold

    VO2 Max – Zone 5 Training:
    Sprinted to each of 3 picnic tables spread throughout the field about 15 yards apart, completed 1 burpee at the first and Nured back, then back to the second, 2 burpees, and so forth until we had worked our way up to 4 burpees then counted back down.

    Recover called.

    COT and Paradox prayed us out.
    Reminder that next Friday and Saturday is the SV500 and signups need to be completed soon. Can’t wait for that Thursday Cardinal Q!

    SYITG,

    Enron

  • Endurance – from Paradox

    YHC arrived a touch early to the stage to set out a few cones on the back end of Richmans loop for a light cardio routine (rest and recovery is my thing ya know)
    . All was set, a few minutes to spare when nature called. YHC has become quite a fine purveyor of port o potty’s during my career at the stage. When demand meets supply plus IBS…well..Dr. Maught can tell you the rest of that equation this fall. I took a lovely light mosey to a very new Po’P to reread my bd notes.
    After reviewing the walls and wondering why I should call Terry for a good time (does he know we have a free men’s workout?) I hustled out to make good timing. That’s when I slipped and hit my head on the curb and the lights when out….

    …
    Somewhere in the Wedel Sea
    during “The other expedition”

    Fierce polar winds threatened to rip our tent apart with every breath as we huddled inside for warmth. Captain Goose had called this meeting on our 400th day at sea, floating aimlessly on the pack ice.

    He peered at us through a thick frosted beard
    “I’ll be straight with you men. We’ve got 800 miles to cover in a 20 foot life boat to save the pax we left on Fartsack island.
    There’s 9 of us and only enough provisions for 8.
    There’s also a pistol with 1 bullet left..”
    The tent door rustled open sharply and YJ popped is head in
    “What are y’all doing in here, is this an SLT meeting? Anyway I’m doing my heavy hands routine out here to stay warm if anyone wants to join” …cricket chirps…
    “Nobody?” This time even the Antarctic cricket was silent.
    He went back out and a collective sigh spread through the men.
    YHC shook his head in reply “ I’m sorry, we had to bring him, Rienzi 1 percenters funded the trip ya know “
    Captain Goose cleared his throat to re-establish order “Well it’s going to take every ounce of strength we have to save those men and…”
    YJ pops back in visibly more excited.
    “Hey I created a song called ice ice baby , it’s got a dope beat y’all come listen “ then he strutted back out.
    Across the tent, Tana pulled the last bullet from his shirt pocket, his gaze still stuck on the place YJ stood, he handed it to YHC with a nod. “Save it till we are starving but when the time comes you know what to do. Back of the head and Make sure he knows his backblasts were the best. “
    YHC racked the shell into his pistol as a single tear formed then froze in the artic gloom.
    Silence descended on the tent
    “For the pax” I said as the light faded …
    …

    YHC regained consciousness just in time to walk up and meet 9 sea worthy men at the stage in record setting humidity. They trickled in slowly following an abnormally early Cardinal arrival (61% sleep and fresh roasted grounds works wonders, can’t wait for his Q Thursday ).
    We circled up, all smiles, and only one of us knew what was waiting in the depths of the loop.

    Duke it’s time to cross Antarctica!
    Roll the footage !

    Warmups
    The usuals with 30 IWs by request because some jerk made us coupon lunge on Saturday. Chatter was at a zero but Bone thugz was just getting warmed up! A mosey to the bumper to get started.

    YHC started a series of beatdowns today to honor men throughout history that displayed courage and leadership in the face of great adversity.
    We shall call it Memorable Men Mondays (thanks smooth)

    Today we salute you …
    Sir Ernest Shackleton
    Considered one of the last great Antarctic Explorers. Most famous for his attempt to be the first to cross Antarctica in 1914 and today we would focus on his leadership during that expedition.

    First we needed to go back in time to 1914 and you if you are going to return 109 years the only appropriate travel is Nur. Goose repeated this a few times then seemed to accept it and I fear where his next time travel Q may take us.
    So we ran backwards to the fresh paint lot into the age of exploration.

    August 1 1914 : the ship Endurance sets sail from London to South Georgia Island with 28 men aboard as the Imperial TransAntartic Expedition begins. Their goal is to make landfall on Antarctica , hike across with sled dogs, and meet up with another crew on the other side…simple right?

    28 merkins for the 28 men aboard endurance.

    From South Georgia they left land and unknown to them would not return for 497 days.

    Stuck in pack Ice only 60 miles from their land destination the Endurance began to slowly be crushed by relentless pack ice and they were forced to abandon ship and camp on the drifting ice.

    “Ice Ice Baby “ by Vanilla Ice
    Rock Balboas – Jump Knee Tucks on ice ice baby.
    The pax had trivia which would free them from the Vanilla torture.
    What Year was song released? (1990) 1 minute
    What is vanilla ice real Name- Robert Van Winkle 2 minutes
    What lawsuit did this song create – Queen Under Pressure copyright) 3 minutes
    Two minutes were gained after Goose and YJ had a classic senior moment and went with 1991.

    Indian run to the back of Richmans loop where we found YHCs full arsenal of COUS (coupons of unusual size, thanks Tap) with the coup de grace being a rowing machine YHC plucked from his brother in law several months ago in a blockbuster trade deal for sketchy discount medical care. The concrete schoolyard was ready and the pax were willing.

    At this point Shackletons crew , after watching their beloved ship be crushed by ice and sink, must traverse roughly 100 miles of unruly pack ice all in 3 life boats to the closest land , Elephant Island .

    To honor this YHC put together a circuit with various tasks to represent the varied tasks of the men of Endurance .
    Everyone found a cone and we got to work.

    Voyage 1 Circuit
    45 seconds
    Patience Camp to Elephant Island

    1 rowing – 28s/m
    2 seal jacks
    3 Med ball hammers
    4 med ball v ups
    5. mountain climber
    6. Leg raises
    7. Suicides
    8. Hickory Lunges
    9. Freddy merks

    The pax performed admirably here despite minimal directions from YHC. Bone thugs has progressed into quite a force of mumblechatter and started to find his voice as the reps piled up. Pope continues to be an unstoppable force.

    In a 5 day journey the men make it to Elephant island 1/2 starved, several with frost bite but still fighting.
    Shackleton makes the decision to put 5 men (including himself) in the James Caird, their best life boat and attempt an 800 mile trip to South Georgia Island to get help. They leave with 23 men on the island knowing that if they fail , everyone will perish.

    Voyage 2 Circuit
    60 seconds
    Elephant Island to South Georgia
    800 miles
    1. rowing
    2. SSH
    3. BBSU w ball
    4. Med ball v up
    5. Flutter kicks
    6. Apollo Onos
    7. Nur suicide
    8. KB thrusters
    9. Med ball smash

    800 miles, 17 days and a hurricane in the most feared polar sea on planet earth and the 5 men survive to arrive at South Georgia Island.
    One final task to reach help and rescue their shipmates….
    A 26 mile hike across the island (which is basically a glacier) to civilization.

    Time to hoof it.

    We left everything for a 1/2 mile sprint back to the flag.

    COT and Goose prayed us out

    T- Claps to Safety Valve for his second post after the Catan massacre. Solid work from BT as well.

    SV 500 on Aug 12!
    Jambalaya tickets for sale

    NMM
    I stumbled upon this incredible story this summer and it blew me away. The perseverance through obstacles, the mounting intensity, and the odds looking worse and worse at every turn will have you on the edge of your seat. It has my highest reading recommendation. ( See links below) .
    The ability of Shackleton to have the men buy into giving everything they had to save the man next to them or the ones left behind was simply incredible.

    Clearly we don’t face anything even in this stratosphere on a day to day basis but it did remind me of the men in my own life. The ones ready to empty the tank when the cause is great and the glory not our own.
    Grateful to be surrounded by you gents, nobody id rather be in the boat with.

    https://www.audiobooks.com/audiobook/127307/?refId=40886&detailsLocale=US&refId=41464&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI7-y_mZW6gAMVcwetBh0rIgy7EAQYASABEgL8EPD_BwE

    Epilogue

    “The Other Expedition”

    It was day 497 at sea for the 9 men who had left Fartsack island to find help.
    The provisions gone , the boat held together in tatters, most men with blackened toes and fingers.
    8 souls crumpled into the bottom of the boat clinging to life….

    All but one continued to row.

    The one they had saved the bullet for.

    Scientist would later spend decades trying to explain how this man single-handedly saved his crew. Some say it was years of his heavy hands routines. Others say that the only manuscript of his backblasts were in that boat and he knew the world needed them.
    But only the men of F3 Thibodaux knew
    , it was the chatter , all he ever needed was the chatter.

    “Ice Ice Baby” Joe whispered as he peered into the sky and led the boat to land.
    His pax were safe and the chatter would live on.

    SYITG
    Dox

  • 80 Miles to Sante Fe – from Paradox

    What comes to mind when you think of the absolute cutting edge of human performance? Ultra marathons, Saturdiddles, special ops training, Cardinal crab walking … I’m talking the outer limits of human capabilities here. Well men I have a new challenging feat of strength to add to this pantheon of greatness. A rigorous 5 day crucible that tests the mind, body, spirit, and even Rouses endless supply of 100% juice capri suns.

    Some only live through it to tell the tale…
    That’s how I found myself shoulder to shoulder with Econoline this week at 8:15am on a casual Tuesday in the Chackbay Catholic center, awaiting our first rotation of children.
    There we stood at the game station like 2 young hobbits awaiting 10,000 orcs at Helms deep. (Jk jk your children are all angels )
    It was about to begin…
    The great battle of our time..
    Being group leaders at…
    VACATION BIBLE SCHOOL

    Duke put down that snack pack and roll the footage . It’s VBS week!

    Warmup
    The usuals with spikes of chatter with Tanas gigi arrival and Gooses wearing a crosscut necklace of cloth but mostly silent focus on preserving precious oxygen with furtive glances at YHCs entire cone collection in the big field being guarded by BAPs. Sooooon….

    To kickoff the shenanigans YHC explained the similarities between VBS stations and F3 and that we would train as group leaders today to get a taste of the action.

    Opening ceremony

    Needs to be high energy , get the blood pumping but also you need to run full speed backwards because you forgot your 2.0 shoes and he has not a care in the world of being barefoot in public.

    Indian run around the big loop with Nur to the front to take us to the Chimney.

    Game Station #1
    Hula Hoop Relay race

    Break into 3 teams
    1 team mate does hula hop to and around cone
    Rest of Team does 4 merkins, 4 sqats , 4 SSH , 4 BBSU (4x4x4x4 (tM)
    Until all complete and must slide the hula hoop down the line.
    Enron clearly ignored the PDF and instructional video YHC sent him about the 4x4x4x4 and he still had questions. Ya hate to see that from the self proclaimed smartest man in the room.
    In the end Team Goose took the title and gifted the losers with 25 monkey humpers, in an unrelated note we now cannot go within 100 feet of the St Joe carpool pickup line.

    To the tennis court

    Every great VBS must have catchy songs that get implanted into your brain and this week we talked with the kids a lot about listening to God for your call…

    Music Station #1
    “Call me maybe” by Carly Rae Jepsen
    1 Merkin on “maybe” and “baby “
    Holding plank in a circle of pax and Pass the Hula Hoop with hands and feet.
    if it’s on you during call me maybe then you do 3 merkins.
    The pax got pretty good at passing that hula at lightning speed and WetTap has even adopted this as his on call theme song.

    Arts and Crafts Station #1

    Another vital part of VBS is a crafting station and no craft session is complete without rock paper and scissors. Pax paired up for escalating rounds of Rochamburpee with 2 more burpees for the loser each round till we reached 12. Not sure how everyone faired here but it seemed like burpees were enjoyed by all.

    Mosey to the Thunder dome

    Music Station #2
    Over the past 2 years selecting “F3 songs” has become a cherished pastime at YHCs house. There’s no definitive criteria but you know a really good one when you hear it. YHC recently stumbled upon the #SWT (Ronnie would later figure out this was Songs With Triggers) channel of f3 slack and uncovered an absolute gem.
    I needed a song to represent this weeks teaching of finding a quiet place to pray and it just so happened that Dean Summerwind had provided directions to a quiet lake where we could park just 80 miles from Santa Fe.

    “Parked by the Lake “
    Dean Summerwind
    Hold Al Gore with
    Bonnie Blair’s on “Parked”
    Tin Soldiers on “Santa Fe”
    Squats on “Lake”

    I hope it met Popeyes high expectations. It will be added to my F3 Song Hall of Fame as Diddle proclaimed it both right and just.

    Game Station #2
    Duck- Duck Goose
    Pax plank up in a circle facing outward. One pax selects a “Goose” by running around and tapping them on the head while the pax knock out plank related exercises (Merkin, plank jacks, MCs)
    The real honker himself got us started and we had Some close battles here with the Dawson 2.0s showing some serious evasive maneuvers.

    Arts and craft Station #2
    – color our ABCs
    PAX on our six with legs up to spell out VACATION BIBLE SCHOOOL (those Os are just too fun)

    Mosey to big field and as we turned the corner BAPS was seen and one pax yelled “is Jeaux here?”
    A simple question but it nearly derailed me as I couldn’t shake the image of YJ crouched in his van with binoculars and 1980s spy equipment writing down notes and mumbling “I knew it” .
    I composed myself and we arrived safely at the Grand Finale.

    Every VBS ends with a grand finale Friday where you showcase everything you learned through the week. So YHC unveiled the ultimate VBS obstacle course
    We split into two teams started some SSH and each team let one pax into the race at a time until they got to the minefield.
    BAPS provided “the final countdown” and We raced through..

    1. Dizzy bat
    2. Lunges
    3. Merkin minefield with CrawlBears (5 merkins if you knock down a cone)
    4. Broad jump burpees
    5. Suicide Trifecta (Nur, Run, Carioca)
    We grabbed our ever growing pile of gear and moseyed back to the flag for people’s choice Mary to represent your kids showing you all the stuff they learned during the week.
    Dr Ws, Penguins, Fred Merk, fire hydrants , WW1 sit-ups with Yote till the buzzer.

    Count o Rama, NamoRama
    GiGi found a new home with Ronnie and the Animal went back to the Goose nest with concerns that Crosscut was on his last microfiber.

    COT with continued prayers for the St Pierre family
    Goose prayed us out

    NMM

    YHC has a special place in his heart for VBS. Growing up it was always the mark of deep summer and where the seeds of my faith were first planted. (It’s where I picked up a love for relay races and obstacle courses!)
    It’s also a great reminder to me to search for simple yet profound truths and to strive for a childlike faith. Grateful for the men of F3 as we help each other walk a straighter path.

    PPS (Pickleteria PostScript) sponsored by Joola

    Following the beatdown several Pax gathered at the thunderDome for the first ever Pickleteria . Tana and Dilly graciously provided the pickleGear and all the fixings for Americas fastest growing game. In a thrilling opening match Team Dawson narrowly took down Threat Level Midnight 11-2. Acting manager of TLM Ronnie Lillich was optimistic for the teams growth during the post match interview: “Dox has a floppy wrist, plain and simple,I was carrying him. His mind was boggled about the kitchen and he lost his composure”. Sounds like TLM is going through a “rebuilding year” but a lot of league experts say Dox had a dollar store paddle. Ya hate to pickle with that.
    Well , It’s safe to say that the pickle fever has spread rapidly and the only question left is ..same time next week?

    SYITG
    Dox