F3 New Orleans

Tag: Smooth Operator

  • The Greatest Kickballer Among Us – from Lil Cuz

    YHC found himself following two F3 Thib Legends into the Peltch this humid June Morning. The need for a fun Saturday was felt through all and as I drove up it seemed we finally had enough people on a Saturday to play America’s favorite Past Time, that’s right KICKBALL!!! Who didn’t have dreams of blasting one straight over the outfield and running the bases staring at your middle school crush as you round third hoping for the game winning kick celebration kiss? Just me…alrighty then. Moving on…

    Today is June 24th which is the feast of John the Baptist, who was called by Jesus Himself, “Among those born of women there has not risen anyone greater than John the Baptist”. (Matthew 11:11 for those interested in reading more) So before we played a rousing game of kickball we had to rise to the occasion and chase after the G.O.A.T himself.

    Thang 1:
    Cindy Crawford – this was to get our whole body in the best shape it can be, which of course is bikini body ready. It’s beach vacation time after all.
    AMRAP:
    – 5 Pull Ups
    – 10 Merkins
    – 15 Squats
    – 20 LBC’s
    – 25 Toe Raises
    This lasted 15 minutes and TONS of mumble chatter later everyone realized they can do WAY more pull ups than they thought before we started. T-Claps all around!

    Thang 2:
    Coach Burpee – YHC has been coaching his oldest 2.0’s baseball team and it has taught me more patience and made me realize we are viewed outside of our homes sometimes more than in it and a good coach can get even the most un-motivated player to do things neither thought they could do.

    Pax split into teams of 3 or 4 due to number of Pax at Peltch today.
    – P1 does Burpees
    – P2 yells encouragements to keep going
    – P3 runs ¼ mile
    – P1 switches to P2, P2 switches to P3, P3 switches to P1.

    This originally was supposed to be until all Pax had completed a mile, but due to unfortunate time constraints this was changed to ½ mile and not at all due to everyone being gassed from hitting, by my latest estimate, 275 burpees in 15 minutes. It was awesome to hear yells of encouragement coming from all coaches and I know a bunch of Pax hit numbers of burpees they did not think they would hit prior to starting. T-Claps all around!

    Thang 3:

    KickBall Game:
    Split into 2 teams. Buy in is 5 Squats or 5 LBC’s. No one chose LBC’s which was expected or because no one heard me say this and just kept with squats. The world may never know.
    When kicking, you can kick normally and all defense has to do 2 merkins before they can play the ball.

    Can choose to do a trick kick (ex: kick backwards, kick behind back, left foot), if this is chosen then defense must do 5 merkins before playing the ball.

    When running the bases: normal kick – bear crawl to base. Trick kick – lunge walk to base. This was changed to run after the first inning to get some runs in.

    True colors truly came out in this game. We had quitters whose team never let him live it down and to this day is known as “Quitter-Mcgee”. Strange world we live in when guys who can’t show up on time start pegging 2.0’s with dodgeballs as they run the bases. After the mayhem Team 1 had to show Team 2 a lesson for hitting innocent 2.0’s and loaded up the bases with said 2.0’s. Then threw out the big guns in Smooth who absolutely crushed the ball with his left foot and brought all 2.0’s in for a score with the biggest hit single in kickball history! Truly awe-inspiring stuff!

    There were no cute girls to wink at while rounding third, just Enron dripping sweat and cheering on his team and Dox asking for the ump, who could not be found. I think we made John the Baptist proud despite all of this but he is still the G.O.A.T. Thanks for pushing hard today fellas!

    SYITG,
    Lil Cuz’

  • O Brother, Where Art Thou? – from Goose

    Though this title could refer to a few of the PAX who didn’t show this morning, the crew who did show were of such high quality, YHC was lifted above any yearnings for missing brethren. Goldilocks/Animal was there for his third in a row, revealing later that CrossFit was now dead to him; Econoline returned after a brutal reentry with dimples shining in the moonlight; and Michelin was back and ready for whatever! The ever stalwart Smooth, Enron, and Diddle rounded us out, and though the warmup chatter was low, the spirits were high.

    Every now and then, a line from the movie, “O Brother, Where Art Thou” (Cohen Brothers movie with George Clooney) will jump into YHC’s head and bring with it delightful feelings of nostalgia from the many times it’s graced my screen. There are very few movies YHC can watch more than once or twice, but this is definitely one of them. The dialogue, the characters, the acting, and the ridiculous story-line have yet to get old. So, YHC dragged the rest of the PAX through the plot this morning via physical exertion.

    Warmup of the usuals, including some sharply executed Moroccan Nightclubs, followed by a bumper mosey to wake the legs up and start the process of getting the gallons of lactic acid built up from Saturday and Monday out of the system (it would take almost the full length of the beatdown to complete that process).

    The movie starts with footage of a prison chain-gang busting up rocks somewhere in Mississippi in the 1930’s. Three men, chained to one another, escape by running “stealthily” through a cornfield toward a railroad track with hopes of jumping on a train. So, we lined up along the edge of the grass, linked up with our arms over each other’s shoulder, and the all 7 PAX lunge walked together to the sidewalk. I felt sorry for the short guys, but that’s the way it goes when you’re chained together.

    Next, since we missed the train, we had to flag down an old, blind man cranking one of those manual railway cars. YHC pulled the first song off the soundtrack, “Keep on the Sunny Side”, and we did alternating overhead presses with those gray bricks that the 2.0’s have been using, and upright rows on every “sunny”. But, we only had 5 sets of bricks, so two guys had to use blocks…which was tough. T-claps to Enron and Smooth for taking that one.

    Next, the three escaped convicts made their way through many obstacles and opportunities to get back to the leaders’ wife, who was about to marry an upstanding man, a bonafide suitor, claiming that her convict husband had been hit by a train (“blooey!”). So, we ran through a sort of montage inspired relay race: Partner 1 was stationed a quarter of the way around the track and did Apolo Ono’s until Partner 2 completed 15 merkins and ran past Partner 1 to halfway around the track and took up the Ono’s. Once Partner 2 passed Partner 1, Partner 1 switched to 15 merkins before running past Partner 2, etc. This went on for three laps, and I think the winning team was Enron/Econoline. In case you were wondering, it was the merkins. The merkins were the crux. I love it when a routine ends up revolving around a seemingly harmless piece that no one expected would give them much trouble!

    After this, instead of a ten-count, we went right into another song, which YHC hoped would provide both a breather and a shoulder burner, but it ended up being pretty weak. The song, another from the soundtrack, was “I’ll Fly Away”, and we planned to do shoulder fly’s with the bricks on every “fly”, but there weren’t nearly as many as YHC remembered. (Should have tested this one–overconfident.). Smooth and Diddle ended up with the blocks on this one since YHC promised it would be a little easier–not sure it was. We ended up basically just doing a bunch of fly’s/block curls along with some heel raises till the end of the song, which provided enough of a burn to get us to the next thang.

    The movie’s climax is when the companions jump up on a stage at a campaign rally so Everett can get closer to his wife, who’s seated up front. They play “Man of Constant Sorrows,” (a song they played over the radio earlier in the movie to make a few bucks) and unbeknownst to them, reveal that they are the now wildly popular “Soggy Bottom Boys” that everyone’s been dying to hear. So, we took to the stage and did a continuous series of 10 dips, 10 alternating step-ups (1:1), 10 dips, and 10 box jumps until the song ended (about 4.5 minutes).

    Our performance was so good that we were reunited with our wife with plans to remarry. This led us nicely into some themed Mary, which included lots of Hello Dolly’s, LBC’s, Wife Pleasers, high, slow flutter kicks, slow penguins, and J-Lo’s.

    COT, Animal shirt went to Enron, and Enron prayed us out.

    It’s been an awesome start of the week, but everyone’s looking forward to Cardinal’s birthday Q on Thursday at the Den. Would love to see us break 13 for that one! Rest tomorrow and get there!
    And, watch the movie–we need a collective agreement on whether Paradiddle’s taste in movies is calibrated as poorly as YHC suspects.

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • The Happiest Animal in the World – from Paradiddle

    After getting the initial nerves out of the system from his VQ, YHC was determined to have a bit more fun with his second Q. He was feeling free, and after seeing the hustle of the pax from May’s ISI challenge, he knew everyone could dig a bit deeper than they give themselves credit for.

    YHC has recently been inspired by the mustache’d man from Kansas who found himself coaching the struggling AFC Richmond UK football team. Now, let no one be fooled, YHC knows next to nothing about football (and US football), but Ted Lasso has been a source of inspiration and joy. The “Lasso Way” is a controversial way that Ted coaches the team by seeking to help the players grow both on and off the field. One immediately sees the growth of certain characters, such as Roy Kent and Jamie Tart, who both go from egotistical bad mama jama’s to virtuous men and best friends. It’s not frequent that you see truly good men on television. But Ted Lasso illuminates the goodness in each of these men as they truly are the iron that sharpens each other. This would be YHC’s inspiration for the beatdown.

    YHC woke early, left on time, and even managed to pick up a fun old sorta new guy, Goldlocks, for the beatdown. Arriving ten minutes early, YHC found Smooth awake from his post-work slumber, Enron fishing for hints on what the beatdown might be, and Wet Tap, who came in clutch with the perfect dry erase board needed for the exercises (YHC was going to resort to cardboard and a sharpie). After preparing the board, YHC did his own pre-thang (not by choice) to deliver the goods to the ED White track, which was under construction, but YHC might have completely missed that due to his extra excitement for the morning (the introvert was feeling extroverted this morning).

    Returning to the Pelch, YHC found the rest of the pax assembled, mumble chatter was strong, and debates of who was on “the Diddle List” filled the air. Warmup consisted of the usual SSH, some thing I can’t remember, arm circles, pickers, mtn climbers, and high knees. YHC still has a good bit of learning to do, as every exercise started with a different variation of “Exercise, ready, move, in cadence, exercise…start.” We’ll get the kinks worked out soon.

    The pax moseyed the stadium where one set of stadiums were part of an extended warmup. Goose and Goldilocks were excited for the fresh challenge, while YJ held down the back of the train, his chatter weighing him down (the complaining kept a grin on YHC’s face).

    THANG 1
    YHC gathered the pax on the track where he asked an important question – What is the happiest animal in the world? A goldfish. Why? Well, because they have a 10second memory. (All information comes purely from YHC watching Ted Lasso and not actual research) YHC then, in his own introverted super brief storytelling way, tried to explain to the pax how Roy helps Jamie to grow as a soccer player by consistency showing up at his house everyday at 4am for them to run together. The pax both knew and feared where this was going. YHC revealed the board of doom with thang 1 bulleted.

    AMRAP – 25min
    – 1/4 mile run (1 lap around the track)
    – 15 declined push ups
    – 10 Mountain Climbers (2 is 1)
    – 10 Groiner w/ Flying V
    – 10 Peter Parker’s
    – 10 V Up’s
    – 10 Bonnie Blair’s
    – 10 Step Up’s

    Due to the field being cleared of benches, YHC nixed the step up’s and everyone began. The pax only made it 1.5 times through the list before a real life Colossus XXL (Cars 2, people) made its way on to the track. YHC called an audible and with the help of Goose, relocated inside the Peltch. The pax grinded out what must have been 5-7 laps of the exercise (most of it while being serenaded by MC Hammer’s 2 Legit 2 Quit – DJ Dox must have really liked that one). 25 solid minutes of Zone 4 by every pax. The shirts were off, the sweat was pouring, Dox’s back had more grass stuck to it than a farm growing St. Aug. Smooth’s classic “next” moved us to our next activity.

    THANG 2
    Burpee Sprints
    To keep with tradition, burpee sprints are typically 10 burpees followed by sprinting the length of a football field (100 burps & 10 fields total). If only we had a football field… YHC picked the tree that resided behind the Dawson house for YJ’s Christmas Classic as the end of the field. The pax took off, and soon YHC realized, not for the sake of the pax, but for the sake of time, that a full set of burpee sprints wouldn’t be possible. Audible two was called and we counted down each set (10, 9, 8, etc til 1). A few chirps from Lil’ Cuz during the runs made YHC smile, but otherwise the pax were a silent bunch this morning for some reason. Oh no! What’s that? Is it a rustling in the distance?! No – it’s Yankee, on his six in pain. His back struck again (we really need to get Heath on speed dial – YHC is sorry for your back, and I really hope it gets better soon). The pax finished strong – at least five shirts off, and we finished as a team. The F3 motto “Leave no man behind, but leave no man where you find him” rang true on this hot Saturday morning.

    We moseyed back to the flag and for a 40 second round of Mary we each breathed independently. It was needed. Name-o-rama and Tana prayed us out (I think).

    What a morning. I’m constantly inspired by a group of men that don’t complain, always push harder, and who are growing stronger every beatdown. I know that just the last two months have pushed me harder and made me stronger than I have probably ever been. It is because of the accountability of showing up and walking next to this group of men who pray and play together. You each put in the work. You each push past the point of comfort for the betterment of yourselves and your families. We do this for more than ourselves. The pain is temporary – go one more.

    – Diddle

  • Run to the Father – from Paradox

    9 strong at the stage and ya know dat bayou summer is in full swing when it’s a balmy 81 before you even slip on your mudgears. YHC rolled back in (after forgetting JBL on the charger) to a steadily growing group of Pax bolstered by a fresh wave of our seminarian Pax getting back in dat action.
    The promises had been free flowing in the preBlast groupme with commitments of all shapes and sizes. Hopeful commits, repeat HC fartsack offenders, cardinal fanning flames, Even a brand new “FC”. That’s a frog commit, when pickleball says Jump , you say how high?
    Ya really really hate to see it but we pushed forward.

    Duke! run back home and get the footage. Your still a good boy!

    Warmup
    A respectable set of the usuals with extra care for the lower back.
    The newest fad injury in F3 Thib is a tight back (although YJ will say he’s been doing it before it was mainstream) and after getting nuked by the diddle list on Saturday we all needed some careful grass grabbers.

    The Thang

    YHC decided that directly after Fathers day was a good time to cover the parable of the prodigal son. So many perspectives to reflect on from this amazing parable but today YHC wanted to focus on the contrasting emotions and inner turmoil of the father/son. YHC Just needed a good canvas for this medium and during a recent downRange vacation post YHC was introduced to the total brutality of a Jack Webb medley (shout out to HouseCall). It felt like a great way to express the conflicting inner emotions of the parable all while pondering if Thibodaux has any oxygen in the atmosphere.

    First we had to take the inheritance and run away. We formed up in a Indian run with a last man Drop off – 10 Carolina dry docks facing away , see your family getting farther away.
    We jammed to Ghetto Cowboy while we counted our inheritance cash followed by a choice Goose selection of Ford Econoline and all was right in the world…

    Feeling pretty good about ourselves with endless money we stopped for Jack Webb #1
    Merkins and Air Raises up to 10/20
    The son beats his chest while the father prays “why?”

    We moseyed on starting to feel the strain of responsibility but still depending on ourselves we ditched our van and set out on foot looking for love in all the wrong places.
    100ish yard Lunge to DJ Snake/Bieber “Just let me Love You “
    Are you a Beliber now Cardinal ?

    We continued forward in a Jello Mosey
    There is now a famine in the land, times are tough. But the son still depends on himself.
    We headed for the pig pen to get in the slop. (Perfectly placed port o potty)

    Jack Webb #2
    Captain Thor
    BBSU/American Hammers (3 count)
    The son is pulling himself up (BBSU) while the father continues wrestling with his absence (hammers)

    Time to Run Home
    No money
    No love
    No friends
    Deep in the slop just hoping for a bite of the pig food.
    The crucial moment of uncertainty. I will return to be my fathers servant , but will he accept me ?

    Air Squats/Mountain climbers
    1 squat and 2 MC to depict the son running to the Father who was not only waiting but fervently seeking him daily.

    Run Back home w guidance
    Pair up and one pax run while guiding is partner in Nur.

    Back Home
    Song
    – Run to the Father -Matt Maher
    We held Tipper Gores on the song (atleast initially) with jump tuck on Run and Merkins on Again.
    Legs got reallll wobbly.

    Animal shirt awarded to Goldilocks! Back to back posts and this man is in pretty good shape if you are taking notes at home. Stay golden brother.

    COT and Diddle prayed us out

    Great effort across the board and awesome to have Goldilocks and Econoline in the mix. Grateful to be alongside you men today and always a privilege to lead.

    YHC is often reminded of the repetitive nature of the “returning to the Father “ portion of this parable. So easy to get bogged down the moment we return to the ole pig pen especially when you have been there sooo much the pigs know you by name. But there is such deep consolation of knowing that even as we tire in repetitive sin our Fathers endless mercy is always waiting.

    SYITG
    Paradox

  • The Fat Boy Food Adventure – from Smooth Operator

    Participants: paradox, Enron, superfund, FNG (Michelin), Yankee Joe, Paradiddle, Goose, Smooth Operator

    I pulled up to the Lions Den at 0455 to find a FNG sitting in his truck. It looks like he had been there for quite some time and was ready to get his first F3 experience going.

    After that Enron pulled up and started giving us the synopsis of his Mexico City trip. He went on a guys trip and apparently ate at one of the best restaurants in the world, but for some reason either the restaurant or all of Mexico does not do Michelin stars. This brought us to another interesting topic, the Michelin star program is put on by the same people who sell tires. You learn something new everyday.

    At 0515 we had 7 eager adventurers rocking out to YHC’s musical fanny pack, and ready to overcome whatever craziness that YHC had planned for the PAX.

    We started with SSH and Goose gave the F3 disclaimer. After this we did windmills, arm circles cherry pickers, high knees, butt kicks, and mountain climbers. Somewhere in the middle of this Paradiddle snuck in probably saying something about a train or stomach issues or being busy making a list as reasons for his tardiness. Either way this dude is always ready to roll on minimal warm ups.

    The thang

    After this it was time to talk about our adventure. Two things you need to know about YHC. Even though I lost a little bit of weight YHC is still a certified fat boy. It has nothing to do with F3 which has done great things for me but it kind of hard to outwork the fork when you spend most days eating like crap. It’s something I got to work on and I will, but first I figured let’s have fun with it. Secondly through the last couple monthly challenges YHC has learn that I like to ruck and am not a big fan of long distance running which seems to be involved in the majority of our beatdowns. So I figured let’s combine these two things and let’s see what happens. This is how YHC came up with the Fat Boy Food Adventure.

    The Fat Boy Food Adventure basically goes like this, the PAX would carry our coupons in whatever manner possible to various locations visiting some of YHC’s favorite restaurants in the area. The only time we would need to put the coupons down is to perform some manner of exercise that would almost always be more taxing on the body than rucking. Our mode of transport would be an Indian ruck with the last person dropping off to do a couple man makers and hustled to the front of the line. We started with 5 man makers and eventually went down to 3 then 1 as our journey got more difficult and time started to become a factor.

    First things first, we started our journey at the flag with 25 man makers which seemed to be a big hit with the PAX. From here we headed up the reservoir and across the bridge to the parking lot of 5 guys burger joint all the while jamming out to some southern and classic rock complemented by a couple of Spotify ads.

    At 5 guys, we did 25 coupon curls and 25 Chuck Norris merkins and discussed there delicious burgers, cajun fries, and YHC’s personal favorite their bacon flavored milk shake. It was nice to put a-little sweat equity down as payment for the next time YHC goes there to shovel down some more greasy food. After this, we continued our journey across the slightly less deserted parking lot of Rouses to our next work out location. After everyone completed 5 man makers YHC dropped it down to 3 due to the doozy of a work out coming next.

    Our next stop was across the large parking lot of Rouses heading up LA 308 where a car was parked conveniently about 30 to 40 yards away. YHC decided this would be our stopping point for some parking lot suicides.
    Half the PAX would be doing suicides while the other half completed 25 coupon squats and then we switched.
    The suicides were pretty straight forward, touch the closest yellow line and head back to the curb hitting every line until you reached the car.

    After this we headed to another great restaurant Big Mikes BBQ. You could smell the meat smoking as we reached the parking lot for another exercise. The exercise was 25 world war 2 sit ups and some bear crawl suicides. Once we started doing sit-ups YHC realized that we would not be able to complete the entire exercise as planned so YHC started cutting it down to make it back to the flag for 0600. So YHC deferred the bear crawl till Part 2 and we continued our ruck.

    The Pax started rucking down the road passing in front of Anytime fitness, the dog park and hustled up the reservoir levee. We stopped near the bridge intersection and performed 15 coupon swing which may have disrupted a couple of curious reservoir walkers on accident.

    From here we headed to the Civic center HVAC system to do our next exercise. At the Back corner of the Civic center we did 15 tricep curls and headed back to the flag to complete our last leg of the ruck.

    Once at the flag with a couple minutes to spare the PAX completed 25 more world war 2 sit ups, 25 PAX approved star jumps, and Apollo onos AMRAP for a couple minutes as 0600 was approaching quickly.

    We finished up with COT and named our new FNG Michelin due to our pre beatdown conversations and the fact that he is a trained chef. Paradox passed the distinguished ANIMAL shirt to a well deserving Superfund. Enron prayed us out as a muffler-less vehicle decided to make its presence known.

    Thanks to all the PAX who came out and decided to embark on this adventure. Without y’all always pushing YHC to the limit, I would still be a sad clown sitting on the sideline.

    SYITG

    Smooth Operator

    Part 2 coming to the Lion’s Den soon

  • Life is Hard Sometimes – from Goose

    YHC rolled up in a quiet, lonely truck, happy at least to see a few 2.0’s milling around since Pope and Coyote are still tromping around the mountains of NC for a few more weeks. It was YHC’s birthday Q, and the PAX graciously welcomed me, though with some obvious fear behind their well-wishing eyes. The quiet warmup added to the evidence that these fellas were wary of what was to come–we even had Dox and YJ in the mix, and the chatter was minimal. (Maybe it was the 41 IC SSH, but you had to see that coming.)

    Half the PAX grabbed coupons, and Wet Tap’s patience was tested as he was told to grab one; wait no, don’t; wait we need one more; wait that one’s extra; wait…ok, just run…for now.

    Once we arrived at the lower field, JBL was fired up, and YouTube was required for the first song, Garth Brooks’s “Calling Baton Rouge” since all of his songs are in some kind of digital fortress vault. YHC was born and raised in Baton Rouge. That’s it. That’s why we did it. Plank for the duration and merkins on every “Baton Rouge”. It’s not a long song, so it was pretty much just a warmup for the real Thang since YHC’s pecs haven’t seen much action in the past few months.

    We partnered up for a Dora 1, 2, 3 that reflected YHC’s elementary, high school, and college career. And, this is when we realized we didn’t have enough coupons, so YHC, YJ and Tap argued about who would run back and get one. Tap insisted to the point of being willing to sprint ahead of YHC, but once he was almost there, YJ pointed out that we actually had enough already. So, he was called back. But, then, YHC realized that we actually didn’t have enough because we had a throuple, so I turned to send him back, but thankfully, in his wisdom, Tap had already grabbed it–he was clearly done relying on the collective intelligence of YJ and YHC.

    Goose-life Dora: Partners split duty on 100 kettle bell swings (high school discus champ), 200 Bobby Hurleys (high school basketball non-champ), and 300 coupon rows (LSU rowing team). While Partner 1 cranked on those, Partner 2 gator-merkin crawled (elementary school mascot) 10 yards, did 10 Peter Parkers (original LSU Spiderman–Google it), and ran back. YHC knew this would be tough, that those gator merkins would be ridiculous, and they were. About halfway through, YHC was tempted to switch it to bear crawls or something, but why? Yes, there is a balance the Q must walk between pushing past the PAX’s felt limitations and asking them to do what’s not actually possible or at least practical. YHC felt that tension this morning, but each length, though really hard, was short and ultimately doable. It took everything we had, but the PAX kept going, so no need to modify. We would make memories instead…or maybe cause memory loss.

    After a few 10-counts, we moseyed to the grass next to the Thunderdome for another song reflective of YHC’s time in seminary and working for the Church. These experiences taught YHC that the faith journey doesn’t happen in the world of ideas but in the very real battle and painful mess that is our human experience. And, God is not a senile grandfather living in some far-off heaven whom we have to placate so he might throw us a bone every now and then. He is deeply involved in the mess, and the challenges of life only make sense if we follow His lead, trust in His wisdom, and let him carry us through the battles (interior and exterior). He hasn’t let YHC down, not once, through all the peaks and valleys of his journey.
    The song was “Lord of Hosts” by Shane and Shane, an intense tribute to these truths–Al Gore for the duration (5 minutes) and genuflections on every “God” and “Lord”. Quads were definitely making themselves known at this point.

    Next, YHC shared some details about being led to leave seminary and meet his would be wife, whom he ended up marrying on 9-8-07. In honor of this interesting date, we did The Motivator, counting down from 9. It was interesting to see that the PAX was, at this point, starting to just surrender to what came next–no chatter, just dead eyes and moving into position. Not a bad development.
    YJ mentioned right before this that this was the one-year anniversary of his puke-filled come-back, and YHC wondered if he might be able to force a repeat. He got my hopes up when he peeled off around round 7 and jogged with some urgency to the bathroom, but according to him, it was just for coffee induced urination. Shame.

    Lastly, to honor YHC’s nine kids, each partner did two sets of 35 curls, totaling 70 (the added ages of all 9 kids) honoring the constant picking up of babies. While Partner 1 did curls, Partner 2 did step-ups on the bleachers. 9 kids may seem like a lot, and yes, sometimes it’s beautiful, and sometimes it’s hard; sometimes the time seems to fly, and at other times it seems to creep. But, regardless of how it feels, if we just keep taking one step at a time, just keep showing up and choosing to love these kiddos despite the constantly changing feelings and circumstances, it is an overwhelming, incredible gift that YHC certainly does not deserve.

    We moseyed back to the flag, coupons in tow, and Smooth prayed us out with his simple, yet sincere style.
    Many T-claps and thanks to YJ for bringing a solid birthday coffeeteria, complete with donuts. And, French Horn kept our spirits high with fun facts about his favorite cults.

    YHC is overwhelmed with gratitude for having been blessed with 41 years of a life filled with awesome gifts, and though it’s not been free of challenges, YHC has learned that it’s usually through major challenges that the greatest gifts are made possible. F3 has proven this truth over and over in a very concrete way, and I am extremely grateful that you men have been willing to join me on this journey, especially through this morning’s snot woggle (official F3 term: https://f3nation.com/lexicon/entry/2728/gvid=398600&pagenum=23).

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • Fubar – from Goose

    FUBAR.
    It’s a term you may have heard if you, like me, have spent part of your Memorial Day weekend watching Spielberg’s great film where Captain Miller leads his men behind enemy lines to rescue Private James Ryan. The entire mission is classified as Fubar from the very beginning from the men, but they learn that only with the strength of one another and trusting the lead of their Captain will they successfully complete their mission. Today Being Memorial Day, it was only right that we should suffer a little bit more than usual to pay our respects for the men and women that have served our country so bravely by giving their life. This was the very reason Private Ryan needed to be rescued – because his brothers had given their very lives for the sake of their country.

    _____

    YHC barely arrived on time to find 9 PAX already at the Stage with coupons arranged in the most organized fashion. Warmups consisted of SSH, windmills, and high knees. Before YHC could complete warmups, Cardinal arrived carrying some speed in his Vandebilt blue speed wagon. Warmpus finished with butt kicks, and mountain climbers.

    Thang 1
    – Partner Bropee Mile Indian Run w/ Bonnie Blair’s –
    YHC’s list of strengths might be running and cardio, but giving clear directions definitely did not make the list. The PAX partnered up and completed 5 Bonnie Blair’s before racing to the front of the partner Indian line, stopping every 1/4 mile and completing some Bropees (a burpee completed alongside your parter ending in a high ten at the top of the squat jump). YHC had the Pax breathing hard, and by the time the group reached the half mile mark, the sounds of some old animal filled the quiet of the early morning. The only thing to distract from the animalistic breathing sounds were the welcome butt slaps from those running to the front of the line. In total, 28 bropees were completed.

    Thang 2
    – Ascending Testicles & Coupon Lunges –
    YHC’s thorough reading of the Exicon introduced the PAX to a few new exercises – one of them being Ascending Testicles (a cousin of balls to the wall – declined merkins that progressively have a more extreme angle). The Pax would complete 10 merkins on ground level, 10 declined merkins on the bench part of a picnic table, and 10 declined merkins from the table part of a picnic table, followed by lunging with a coupon to a different picnic bench across the pitch. This would complete one set. Ultimate VQ hype man/DJ extraordinaire POO-X came to the rescue by providing tunes to motivate everyone to push through the rush of blood to their brains. In total three sets were completed, leaving time for the final thang.

    Thang 3
    – Butkus + Lion King + a lil’ jog –
    Heart rates were resting in a steady zone 3, so a ten count was in order (YHC has no recollection of who let two 10 counts, because at this point, his mind was complete fubar). Another jumble of instructions from YHC proved to confuse the Pax. Perhaps it was the terrible instructions, or perhaps it was the mumble chatter coming from the marketing trio of Tana, Horn, and Joe, but YHC had to pipe up, let those furballs descend, and use an “outside” voice to finish explaining butkus (rapid step ups on a curb for at least a minute) and Lion King (low squat into a thruster with a coupon). Much to YHC’s surprise, the pax crushed three sets of 1min Butkus, 1min Lion King, and a lap around the pitch. Smooth was locked in pretending that coupon was one of his rugrats, and Horn couldn’t control his strength and began his streak of crushing coupons with his bare hands.

    The morning ended with two minutes of Mary – Freddie Mercury’s, leg raises, and probably something else – but YHC’s mind was indeed fubar by this point and thus no new memories were able to be made.

    6:00am arrived sooner than YHC anticipated, and it proved to be bittersweet. The nerves from the VQ were gone, and only laughs and sweat were to behold. Hopes of 13.0 strain filled the air, and YHC found himself basking in those good good endorphins that only F3 Thibodaux can produce.

    __________

    So, the Memorial Day beatdown mission turned out not to be fubar, but instead a witness and sacrifice in thanksgiving for the lives of those gone before us by giving their life. I remain humbled, grateful, and surprised but the continual growth of the men that continue to show up, put out, and suffer much to make themselves and those around them better.

    – Paradiddle

  • DAT DAWG – from Paradox

    7 dawgs at the stage today on a relatively cool May morning.

    We had a smooth purebred Pit always ready to roll. A local German shepherd with a huge litter of puppies brought in the coups. A young French bulldog living the summer lyfe and looking for a fight. An aged and scholarly golden retriever who can still retrieve after he gets his paws stretched. A north La bred bull mastiff who showed up purely for raw steak and Merkins. Rounded out by a greyhound who ran all the way from his kennel in Bourg. A variety of breeds from far and wide but today they were all looking to be Dat Dawg ….

    Duke! stop trying to recreate sweat stains and get the footage!!

    YHC recently saw F3 Nola’s Hawgcycle (still a mystery how to pronounce this) post that his daughter would be following in his shoeless footsteps and raising money for the Special Olympics by running 1 mile a day for 2023. If you had asked a 12 year old YHC to run a single mile I would have had a hard time penciling you in my booked schedule of Cheetos and GoldenEye so I was floored by this effort and knew we had to rally our bayou pax to support.

    Thus DAT DAWG was born …

    Warmup

    The usuals with some extra reps after an intense Diddle VQ yesterday.

    Like any veteran Dawg, ole Jeaux could smell the intensity in the air. A prolonged warmup , a call for BAPS, surrounded by Dox cones. I could see him working through his Rolodex of fartsack excuses but it was too late .

    We grabbed coupons and headed to the Junkyard.

    YHC explained todays cause and that we would pledge $ for each lap completed.

    YHC then took the pax through a tour of the rough 1/2 mile long obstacle course:

    10 coupon curls , run to next cone
    10 big boys Nur to next cone
    10 merkins bearcrawl the pylon thingys and then roughly 60 yard stretch then more pylons. If a car passes you gotta bark (Merkin) . 10 more merkins on the other side. Run to stage.
    10 box jumps and karaoke to bumper
    1 suicide then sprint to junkyard
    10 burpees then mark your territory (chalk )

    Format: Most Laps complete OR the pax in the lead at the end of 30 minutes would be declared ..

    DAT DAWG.

    Notes:

    -Merkins , bearcrawl , merkins continues to be a recipe for success and YJ had such an accurate bark impression I had to double check it wasn’t an actual wild dog.
    -Horn broke another Coupon and is 1 away from joining TreeRoot in the bayou. RIP
    -Several pax pushing the limit of cardio exertion , it was beautiful.
    -BAPs brought the absolute thunder.
    -Ole hC Tana got caught in a late Pickle fartsack and one hateth to lay eyes on such a thing.

    When the dust settled at 5:59 to no one’s surprise Goose was charging up 4.5 laps with Ronnie close on his heels.
    Both displaying beastly inner DAWG.

    YHC called it and presented Goose with the first DAT DAWG chain. (Must see pics)

    It will serve as our “break in case of charitable event “ trophy. If the chips are down or a worthy cause is in need then you can call on DAT DAWG for fast support.

    In all we completed 26 laps of DAT DAWG as a PAX and raised a nice chunk for an excellent cause.

    COT and dat ole dawg Yankee Jeaux prayed us out.

    An honor to lead this pack of Dawgs today .

    SYITG

    Dox

  • That’s 200 yards, right? – from Enron

    YHC arrived to the Stage later than normal after dealing with sleepless roaming 2.0s and a lost set of keys; leaving the M at home not very impressed with the noise and light levels at 4:50 am. If I go missing for a few beatdowns (or forever) we will now know why. Quickly upon rounding the curve to park, Smooth and Paradox came trotting by, continuing to accumulate points for the Clevland May Challenge in a beastly way. Smooth, your incredible will and drive continues to push us all. By 5:15 (or shortly thereafter due to miscalculations on BMs) we had a total of 7 PAX ready for some Tuesday Tuffness.

    Warmup: SSH, IW, Windmills, Willie Mays Hayes, AC, Cherry Pickers, the rest of the usual, maybe some mountain climbers in there.

    Thang 1: Mile Mosey – That’s it we just jogged a mile. As you can see, a lot of planning went in todays beatdown.

    Thang 2: Rich Man’s Loop Light Post Choose Your Destiny
    After the mile and a ten count, the PAX gathered their coupons and made way to the beginning of rich man’s loop. This is where the F3 deck of death was presented, and instructions were handed out.
    Each light post one PAX would have the chance to choose their destiny (along with the rest of the PAX) as we made our way from post to post around the loop. The choices were as follows:
    A) Perform the exercise on the card, or
    B) Choose “MAY Challenge” which means that the suit of the card determined the exercise:
    a. Hearts – Merkins
    b. Spades- Coupon Tricep Extensions (Curls) or Coupon Squats
    c. Diamonds – BBSU
    d. Clubs – Coupon Curls

    Paradox drew the first card and chose to take what was on the card. This turned out to be a 200-yard sprint which in turn sparked a quick debate about how far 200 years was. Goose quickly, and loudly, made his position known that one light post was 100 yards away and we would just need to sprint back and forth. Stupidly listening to his seniority, YHC agreed. After returning from what must have been a 75-yard sprint it was agreed that we (he) may have miscalculated.

    For the rest of the loop, each Pax drew a card and chose their destiny, with most choosing the May Challenge rules. This loop took longer than YHC planned for and by the end we had to make a long mosey with coupon to the Stage.

    Upon arrival back at the stage we completed coupon curls AMRAP until time.

    COT and Goose prayed us out.

    SYITG,

    Enron

  • The Goose Option – from Goose

    The Goose Option refers to both the Q-uarterback’s decision to pitch to the running back at the last moment (YJ to Goose), and the modifications YHC has employed during the past couple of months to avoid further injury to the right wing. This morning, we would all endure the Goose Option.
    YHC arrived with Pope to see Smooth already running laps–a good sign for Team Smoothie Kings. Worried that “HC” has further come to mean “fartsack” for many, YHC was carefully watching the clock as we inched dangerously close to 5:15. But, French Horn pulled in (a few minutes early, mind you), followed by a trickle of solid dudes who eventually added up to a Magnificent Seven despite the large number of solid fartsackers (including at least one “HC”). Seriously, it was awesome to see that we can have so many men there on a Monday morning even with so many missing.

    Encouraged by this crew, including two who traveled from Houma and beyond (Paradiddle’s 5th in a row!!), we rolled through the warmup of the usuals, and YHC introduced Goose Option, Part 1.
    During the May challenge, YHC can only score points through situps, tricep curls (which are harder than bicep curls, so it’s not cheating!), and running. So, for the sake of camaraderie, we all did 4 rounds of the following: 3 sets of 15 tricep curls and 15 WWII situps followed by a quarter-mile run (to bumper, then Stop sign, and back). This ultimately added up to 180 curls, 180 situps, and 1 mile run.
    French Horn continued to pour forth unprecedented music and movie knowledge from the 90’s as he kept up with YHC (and ultimately earning the Animal shirt as a result), which made this stage fly by. T-claps to the whole crew for cranking out the tricep curls and big boys–I felt known and loved.

    Part 2 would be a song since more than half of song routines consist of the plank/merkin combo or something like a SSH/burpee combo and YHC has to do some sort of leg destruction to match the intensity. So, we would all destroy our legs using “The General” by Dispatch. We held Al Gore for the duration of the 4 minute song, and during the refrain, we did the following:
    -squat jump on “take a shower”
    -Bonnie Blair on “shine your shoes”
    -Apolo Ono on “young men”
    -genuflection on “forgiven”
    According to Paradiddle, this looked like some sort of dance, and maybe it was. Maybe that’s all I’ve ever really wanted, to dance in sync with a bunch of swole dudes. Either way, the legs were shot long before we finished, but we genuflected our way to the bitter end before lining up at the edge of the concrete for the final 8 minutes.

    Part 3 reflected the common experience YHC has of modifying an arm routine to a leg routine only to have the Q call a killer leg routine next. So, we would do 11’s until time ran out–flutters at the Stage, lunge walk to the sidewalk, leg raises at the sidewalk, and run back. It was basically a few ab exercises to provide a little space between a bunch of ridiculously long lunge walks. (I’ve discovered since then that if I sit down, I should plan to be there for a while.)
    This was a tough one, but these dudes cranked it out without stopping or complaining (too much), though I think Paradiddle did run behind his truck to let out what sounded like enough gas to inflate a weather balloon. Seemed like a waste of steps to me–I would have like to have seen how that affected his lunge walk.

    6:00 mercifully came, and the PAX made their way back to the Stage for the COT. Tana’s hair told the whole story–it looked like it had been through a lot and wasn’t even trying anymore. Frenchy got the Animal shirt, as mentioned, and Paradiddle prayed us out.
    Diddle decided to stay and clock one more mile, and as we were driving out, we saw Smooth go back from his truck to the track to join him so he didn’t have to run alone. That’s what it’s all about!!

    SYITG,
    Goose