F3 New Orleans

Tag: White Meat

  • One Week – from Honeysuckle

    What a difference a week makes. A week ago, Thibodaux was still digging out of the snow and AB revealed that he lives in bushes outside his home, which many of us suspected but had never confirmed. Today, YHC plus 11 HIMs (one of which was downrange from Lake Charles but is becoming an honorary Thibodaux PAX) emerged from the gloom on a warm, humid morning.

    Also a week ago, YHC was downrange with the Colorado Springs PAX on a frigid morning. They typically have daily beatdowns, but unbenownst to YHC, last Thursday was the first day of the week they actually met due to sub zero wind chills. This made YHC feel better about fartsacking earlier in the week.

    Since YHC’s previous replay of a downrange experience continues to cause quite a bit of angst to the status quo, it was not even a question as to whether the Colorado Springs beatdown should be replayed today.

    The PAX started circled up, expecting SSHs, and even Safety Valve was prepared to face his fate. However, warmarama began with a mosey around the civic center. PAX then circled up for some slightly more standard warmarama fare. Last week, Periscope had cold/icy/snowy names for pretty much all of the exercises, but YHC couldn’t remember many. So we did snow ticklers (aka pebble pickers, aka grass grabbers), Willie mays hayes, frozen sprinklers (twist with arms out), arm circles, cherry pickers, imperial walkers, and self love.

    PAX then moseyed to ALDI, still oblivious to what was about to happen, much as YHC was last week, except without the numb feet and hands. In cadence, the following exercises were performed:

    Merkins
    Shoulder tap merkins
    Mountain climbers
    Squats
    Air squats
    Lunges (both legs)
    Arm circles
    Overhead claps
    Air presses

    Then, mosey around the civic center.

    Another unique part of the Colorado Springs PAX was their 29 counts, whereas we typically do 10 counts. White Meat was given the honor to do a 29 count and delivered flawlessly.

    Then, repeat the exercises, working in seal claps in the shoulder work.

    Then, mosey around the civic center.

    Then, repeat the exercises, working in some Freddy Mercuries, Flutter kicks, and leg raises.

    Then, mosey around the civic center.

    One other aspect of the Colorado Springs PAX was their cadence counting not using fancy numbers such as ten, eleven, or twenty-six. Rather, we had one zero, one one, and two six.
    The PAX this morning were challenged to only use those ten numbers (0-9) in counting cadence. This was pretty hit or miss during the course of the four five minutes, with many “tens” and “elevens” being thrown out there and Enron insisting on using “oh” instead of “zero”. YHC threatened to enforce a one burpee per mistake but if so we would still be out there, so we performed five penalty burpees and returned to the flags.

    White Meat gifted Phil The Pain / Face Value to Yankee Joe. Safety Valve prayed us out.

    It was rewarding to share another F3 experience with the PAX today. While YHC didn’t get to hang out with the Colorado Springs PAX too long due to the cold, last Thursday they were having a “2nd F” event at a local brewery that would have allowed that to happen. YHC was unable to make it, but it did seem like a nice part of their culture. The overall experience made YHC appreciate our own culture and PAX even more but it was also a reminder that there is always room to improve.

    SYITG,
    Honeysuckle

  • With Speed – from America’s Best

    Having arrived early for set-up, YHC drove over to where the flags should be to get this thing started.
    Warmarama with the usual stuff.
    Indian Run down the road and back again, to the field.

    First Thing:
    Since the numbers were low today, we would experiment with a little Dora-like exercise that will be used in a future beatdown. Just needed to be tested in a small beatdown laboratory today. Partnering up, Partner1 begins burpee while Partner2 Bear-crawls about 15 yard before turning around and coming back to retrieve partner. Then both partners crab walk to the end and complete 10 burpees each. Finish is when 100 burpees have been completed total. All subjects survived (Maneater had not yet injured his back), so it will be integrated into the future BD as planned.

    Next thing:
    Working on foot eye coordination, PAX will have to attempt a long shot at a small goal. All misses result in 10 of something. The closer you are to the goal, the better the exercise. Within 1st cone, LBCs; within 2nd cone, BBS; within 3rd cone, merkins, within 4th cone, Goosies; outside of any of those, burpees.
    I can’t remember exactly how this played out, but I remember White Meat had one amazing shot and one horrible one, and Lil Cuz scored one. Dox definitely kicked one the farthest for 10 burpees. Maneater had not yet injured his back.

    Final Thing:
    Michigan PE teacher Elmer Mitchell created this sport in 1921 (and it was played one year in middle school PE by YHC in 1987), naming it Speedball to evoke the combined feeling of stimulation and depression that comes with being a PE teacher in 1921 (or of being in a middle school PE class in 1987).
    Speedball is a combination of many other sports. Notably, it can be played on a field of any size or location so it’s perfect for the amorphous unbounded field we typically use. Teams were made. Trash was talked. Feelings were hurt. Maneater injurted his back. The Speedball Transfer Portal was opened. It was a close match, but one of the two teams won.
    Moseyed back to the spot where the flags should be for COT.

    SYITG,

    AB

  • OG Christmas – from Goose

    Though YHC enjoys the feelings produced by Christmas songs this time of year, nothing really compares to what a good Christmas carol does to you. Oh, yes–they’re two different things. Just do a Spotify search, and you’ll find your playlists provide two different experiences. As it turns out, Christmas has been around a lot longer than today’s version of Old St. Nick (only really popularized in his current form by Coca-Cola less than 100 years ago). But, sadly, most people haven’t experienced the deeper depths of the season, which can only be accessed via the old school Christmas carols, the English-language ones that have been around for centuries and can still be heard in the background of movies, commercials, and tasteful stores. You grew up with them, they’ve been around forever, but maybe you’ve never noticed them, or they’ve been drowned out by modern day noise like Bing Crosby, the Beach Boys, and color television. So, this morning, YHC decided to provide a little cultural healing via beautiful, age-old carols and burpees.

    We started with a warmup of the usuals with an eventually solid group of 8 PAX rounding out the circle where the blocks waited ominously.

    This was followed by a long-winded explanation of the above with instructions that a carol would play for about three minutes, during which we’d do 7 reps each of 3 exercises over and over while the PAX tried to guess the title of the carol. If they guessed it, no penalty, but if they didn’t, all would do 10 burpees. It went like this:

    * In the Bleak Midwinter:
    * AMRAP: 7 merkins, 7 squats, 7 BBSU
    -Valve: “Is this English?”

    * Holly and the Ivy:
    * Manmakers, curls, rows
    -Popeye: “Come ye Merry Gentlemen?”

    * Wassail Song:
    * Toe tappers, Appolo ono, WWI sit-ups
    -The only one the PAX got, despite having the three song title magicians (AB, Popeye, Suckle), and a Tana, in the mix; only got it because it says “Wassail” a bunch.

    * Lo, How a Rose E’er Blooming:
    * goblet squats, tricep press, WWIII situps
    -Valve: “I’m pretty sure this is the other one again.”
    -Popeye: “Joy to the Merry Gentlemen?”

    * Wexford Carol:
    * Werkins, lunges, Freddys
    -Tana: “This is Sara McLachlan, isn’t it.”

    * The Boar’s Head:
    * OHP, coupon swings, pull-throughs
    -White Meat: “Lucky Charms Christmas?”
    -Popeye: “Deck the Halls with Merry Gentlemen?”

    * Coventry Carol
    * Staggered merkins, block pooper squats, Afflecks
    -AB: “Yorkshire Carol? London Carol? Burmingham Carol? Shakespeare Carol?
    Stratford upon Avon Carol? Mr. Bean Carol?”

    * Gabriel’s Message:
    * SSH, 8-count bb, Bonnie Blairs
    -Popeye: “Renaissance Fest ye Merry Gentlemen?”

    Truth be told, YHC just wanted an excuse to listen to those songs, and those three-minute, three-exercises routines punctuated by burpees are a great way to get the heart rate cranking and the muscles burning without having to leave your spot.

    So, for homework, find a version you like of each of these (and the other awesome carols you might find on Spotify, like “Bring a Torch, Jeannette Isabella,” “In Dulci Jubilo”, “Once in Royal David’s City”, “Sussex Carol”, or “Ding Dong Merrily on High”) and put them during a long car ride with the fam. Unless, of course, you just want to keep letting Bieber tell you what he got for his girlfriend.

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • They are wet because they are dry – from Honeysuckle

    On a colder than usual day in the gloom, YHC returned from a warm up run to find White Meat holding warm in his truck. Not long after, Lil Cuz and Pikachu pulled up. Not wanting to miss SSHs, Safety Valve arrived shortly after and we began the warmarama.

    SSHs, Imperial Walkers, Willie Mays Hayes, Arm circles, cherry pickers, toy soldiers

    Mosey to the far gate. As is usually the case, some sort of run through the park is used to showcase some prepping. In this case, it was a pile of coupons and some cones spaced too far apart for Valve’s liking. White Meat complained that it was harder for him to see in the cold weather but that no one ever believes him. Valve said that it made perfect sense, because the eyes were dry. Then Meat said that they were wet. Then Zen Master Valve responded that they were wet because they were dry. And then proceeded to describe a feedback loop that detects dry eyes and causes tears to be dispensed (via some sort of valve opening, if you will). This, and White Meat doing his best impersonation of an eye doctor, carried us through the entire mosey and we arrived at the coupons.

    Thang 1:

    YHC then described the main event, which is some variation of Dora that may or may not be in the exicon. The coupon is to be moved incrementally from cone to cone (6 steps in all) and then back to the start line. On the way out, partner one runs to the coupon, lunge walks it to the next cone, then does 15 thrusters. The home partner starts 30 burpees. Then partner 1 runs back and helps partner 2 complete the burpees. When they are complete, partner 2 is released to move the coupon and partner 1 starts the 30 burpee counter again.

    Unrelated to any of this, YHC also admitted that this was not a Drew Carey beatdown, so perhaps it was better that Goose wasn’t there as he probably wouldn’t have been able to contain his disappointment. Rather, YHC asked why does Cleveland Rock? The best the Pax could come up with was that it’s in Ohio. YHC then revealed that Cleveland is the home of the Rock n’ Roll Hall of Fame, and today we would be listening to songs from the 2024 inductees. This included Foreigner, Ozzy Osborne, A Tribe Called Qwest, Jimmy Buffett, and Kool n the Gang.

    After the six coupon steps away from the start line are done, the coupon is moved back towards the starting line. This time, the explorer partner does 25 curls upon reaching the coupon then murder bunnies to the next cone. The home partner is doing 50 big boy situps. Again, the explorer partner helps complete the 50 BBS’s before the swap happens.

    All in all, each PAX did 45 thrusters, 75 curls, and did roughly half of the 180 burpees and 300 BBS’s.

    Somehow, after initially falling behind to team LiL Suckle, team Safety Meat pulled ahead and finished first. They were fast because they were slow?

    Thang 2:

    YHC really had no idea how long this Dora would take, but as everyone pushed through the burn and didn’t take breaks, there was still a fair amount of time left. YHC had sort of prepared for this situation, so we moseyed to the playground. Valve saw right through this and immediately knew that hanging would be involved. The same teams were kept, and the first teammate had to hang while the other did 5 merkins. Then they swapped and the teammate that was just hanging now did 6 merkins while the other teammate had to hang. And so on, adding one merkin each time.

    Given the recent time warps that have been experienced in beatdowns, with both AB and Goose messing with our mental ratios of work-to-time, White Meat realized what time it was and had to leave when this was almost over. So Honey Cuz became Lil Honey Valve and we continued until 20 merkins were reached. This burned because it was cold.

    Thang 3:

    The Pax at this point wanted to do some Mary and go home, but not today. We moseyed back to the coupons and did farmers carrys with double coupons over the 60 yard course a few times (after a few kinks were worked out). It felt like it took so long because we only had a few minutes left.

    Eventally we reached 59:30 and moseyed to the where the flags normally are for namearama, announcements, and intentions.

    Though among the Pax there were at least 3 shirts to exchange, YHC forgot his and Meat had to leave, so no awards were handed out.

    Lil Cuz prayed us out. Thanks men for venturing out in the cold after Thanksgiving, though I am sure you were really hoping for Dox dressed as Mimi.

    SYITG,
    Honeysuckle

  • – from America’s Best

    A few weeks ago, YHC and a couple of other HIMs were discussing why a certain HIM (who shall remain unnamed) has not yet taken a Q. The answer from him the HIM: the bar is too damn high! YHC granted that things were out of hand. It was time to, in the words of Romanian-German new-age worldbeat musical project Enigma, return to innocence.

    But first: Warmarama

    SSH, windmills, Imperial Walkers, WMH, Toy Soldiers, Tie Fighters, Cherry Pickers, High Knees, Butt Kicks, Lafayette Night Clubs.

    Bumper mosey to pick up coupons and return for:

    Tha Thang. Just a Musical Dora.

    Partnered up, then during each song, one partner knocks out the exercise, while the other uses assigned MOT to the far sidewalk, then moseys back. Flapjack, continue. Race to get 200 reps per exercise before the song ends.

    The Songs, the Exercises, the MOT:

    1: First, Merkins, Crab Walk

    2. Seconds, V-Ups, Run a lap

    3: 3rd Stone from the Sun, Curls, Bear Crawl

    4. Positively 4th Street, Tyson Merkins, Lap

    5: A Fifth of Beethoven, American Hammers, Dragon Walk

    6: 6th Avenue Heartache, BBS, Lunge Walk

    7: Seventh Son, Wheezy Jeffersons, Crawl Bear

    8: Henry the VII, Burpees, Sprint

    It was basically impossible to get to 200 on any of these, but I felt we needed an unobtainable goal. Threw that one long Hendrix song in there just to give a glimmer of hope, and to fulfill the prophecy of “that Charlottesville hipster hookah lounge” music.

    Final Thang: Identify the songs from the beatdown. Popeye and Honeysuckle, as usual, took care of the more obscure songs. White Meat ID’d 7th Son, and Yankee Jeaux ID’d Henry VII… man those geezers know their music. (Popeye had been figuring out “Positively 4th Street” for about 2 rounds, but upon returning from his Dragon Walk he had figured it out. The man has the heart of a warrior, and the mind of a Spotify).

    3rd Stone from the Sun was the only song not identified by the PAX, so we only had to do one burpee. It was fairly obvious at this point that the songs all included ordinal numbers.

    Then just 2 minutes of Mary to get us to that sweet Sugar Mill Whistle.

    COT

    FNG became Doubtfire.

    Animal from Honeysuckle to Lil Cuz.

    Blue Tube from Wet Tap to Honeysuckle.

    Wet Tap prayed us out.

    SYITG,

    AB

  • Free Solo Episode VIII: There’s No Hope – from America’s Best

    A Long Time Ago, in an AO not so far away…

    It is a period of civil war.
    Rebel HIMs, feigning ignorance
    of the rules from prior beatdowns, have
    angered for the last time
    the frustrated Q.

    During the beatdown, the
    PAX managed to start by
    pretending to not understand the Q’s
    ultimate weapon, the
    FREE SOLO, a carefully-crafted
    beatdown with enough
    power to destroy an entire
    planet.

    Flummoxed by their lack of musical knowledge
    and self-awareness, Popeye
    stepped in and identified
    most songs, while the others
    were content to plod on
    through the exercises,
    continuing to climb that hill…

    The instructions were simple. The rules were the same. Nobody cared.

    While the PAX knocks out some exercises, the solo from a song is played. The song has some connection to one person in the PAX. One of three things affects the next thang:
    1. The person for whom the song tolls identifies the song during the solo. If this occurs, the PAX simply take a lap around the Civic Center.
    2. Someone else in the PAX identifies the song during the solo. The consequence of this is a MOT up the hill without a coupon, and 3 burpees at the top. Mosey back down.
    3. Nobody identifies the song, and the consequence is MOT with coupon up the hill, and manmakers at the top. Rifle carry back down.

    The exercises:
    1.Mountain Climbers- bear (block)crawl
    2.Jump squats – murder bunnies/bunny hops
    3. Merkins- El Capitan
    4.Curls – carioke/bricklayers
    5.Half WW3 sit-ups – inchworm(blockees)
    6.V-ups – killer Roos/broad jump
    7.Burpees- crab walk (with/without coupon)

    While the instructions were clearly stated, the consensus amongst the PAX was “What is going on?”
    After several rounds, most of the PAX halfway understood. I guess some people are visual learners.

    First song: a cover of Take on Me, by the band Goose. Months ago, YHC added this to a beatdown and made a point to tell Goose directly about the song, the cover, and the band. But Goose had to be Goose, and feigned ignorance so we could do more work.
    Another Song: Safety Dance by Men Without Hats. Safety Valve has been lulled into thinking if it’s not about flying, it’s not about him. And this song was recorded twenty years before he was born.
    Cherub Rock for Honeysuckle was identified by Popeye, and eventually someone knew it was for HS.
    Lawyers, Guns, and Money by Warren Zevon – unknown to everyone somehow.
    Honeysuckle texted me months ago to suggest that “All of My Love” by Led Zeppelin sure does sound a lot like “Olive, My Love.” Genius. It was obviously much too dark in the gloom to see how much everyone loved this Popeye reference. In space, no one can hear you smirk.
    “Once Bitten, Twice Shy” by Great White… Popeye quickly ID’d it, mentioning “This band is fire.” Too soon, Popeye, too soon.
    And so, amidst the confusion, Popeye and Honeysuckle identified a few songs, although nobody identified their own. But really, nobody was expected to.

    Like tic-tac-toe and Global Thermonuclear War, there’s no way to win this game. You’re not supposed to play it. That’s why the reward for actually succeeding is just running a lap. That may be exercise, but not as we know it. In the words of NORAD supercomputer WOPR, “A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.”

    And yet somehow Paradox identified Dr. Feelgood almost immediately. Somebody make him an international incident negotiator… or at least put him on my Applebees Trivia Night team.

    Thang 2: Lighting Round –
    We do burpees during a mountain-themed song until someone names the song (then they change the exercise)

    Song1: Mountain Song (Jane’s addiction)
    Popeye identified it I think; not sure if he changed anything.

    Song 2: Running Up That Hill (a Deal With God). Identified by Honeysuckle (although he didn’t realize it). Changed exercise to Freddy Mercurys , then we El Capitan’ed up the hill for the remainder. When YHC changed the lyric to “ lunging up that hill,” Pope quickly added “Make a deal with quads.”
    Good, Pope. I can feel your schmaltz. Strike me down with all your humor and your journey toward the Dad Jokes will be complete!

    Song 3: There is a Mountain by Donovan. Crowd favorite to end it.

    Mosey to flag for COT

    Thanks for putting up with it, my dudes. Always an honor to lead.

    -AB

    …and don’t worry—nobody will have to try and figure this game out again. For better or for worse, sometimes a trilogy should remain a trilogy.

  • Free Solo, Episode VIII: There’s No Hope – from America’s Best

    A Long Time Ago, in an AO not so far away…

    It is a period of civil war.
    Rebel HIMs, feigning ignorance
    of the rules from prior beatdowns, have
    angered for the last time
    the frustrated Q.

    During the beatdown, the
    PAX managed to start by
    pretending to not understand the Q’s
    ultimate weapon, the
    FREE SOLO, a carefully-crafted
    beatdown with enough
    power to destroy an entire
    planet.

    Flummoxed by their lack of musical knowledge
    and self-awareness, Popeye
    stepped in and identified
    most songs, while the others
    were content to plod on
    through the exercises,
    continuing to climb that hill…

    The instructions were simple. The rules were the same. Nobody cared.
    While the PAX knocks out some exercises, the solo from a song is played. The song has some connection to one person in the PAX. One of three things affects the next thang:
    1. The person for whom the song tolls identifies the song during the solo. If this occurs, the PAX simply take a lap around the Civic Center.
    2. Someone else in the PAX identifies the song during the solo. The consequence of this is a MOT up the hill without a coupon, and 3 burpees at the top. Mosey back down.
    3. Nobody identifies the song, and the consequence is MOT with coupon up the hill, and manmakers at the top. Rifle carry back down.

    The exercises:
    Mountain Climbers- bear (block)crawl
    Jump squats – murder bunnies/bunny hops
    Merkins- El Capitan
    Curls – carioke/bricklayers
    Half WW3 sit-ups – inchworm(blockees)
    V-ups – killer Roos/broad jump
    Burpees- crab walk (c coupon

    While the instructions were clearly stated, the consensus amongst the PAX was “What is going on?”
    After several rounds, most of the PAX halfway understood. I guess some people are visual learners.
    First song: a cover of Take on Me, by the band Goose. Months ago, YHC added this to a beatdown and made a point to tell Goose directly about the song, the cover, and the band. But Goose had to be Goose, and feigned ignorance so we could do more work.
    Another Song: Safety Dance by Men Without Hats. Safety Valve has been lulled into thinking if it’s not about flying, it’s not about him. And this song was recorded twenty years before he was born.
    Cherub Rock for Honeysuckle was identified by Popeye, and eventually someone knew it was for HS.
    Lawyers, Guns, and Money by Warren Zevon – unknown to everyone somehow.
    Honeysuckle texted me months ago to suggest that “All of My Love” by Led Zeppelin sure does sound a lot like “Olive, My Love.” Genius. It was obviously much too dark in the gloom to see how much everyone loved this Popeye reference. In space, no one can hear you smirk.
    “Once Bitten, Twice Shy” by Great White… Popeye quickly ID’d it, mentioning “This band is fire.” Too soon, Popeye, too soon.
    And so, amidst the confusion, Popeye and Honeysuckle identified a few songs, although nobody identified their own. But really, nobody was expected to.

    Like tic-tac-toe and Global Thermonuclear War, there’s no way to win this game. You’re not supposed to play it. That’s why the reward for actually succeeding is just running a lap. That may be exercise, but not as we know it. In the words of NORAD supercomputer WOPR, “A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.”

    And yet somehow Paradox identified Dr. Feelgood almost immediately. Somebody make him an international incident negotiator… or at least put him on my Applebees Trivia Night team.

    Thang 2: Lighting Round –
    We do burpees during a mountain-themed song until someone names the song (then they change the exercise)
    Song1: Mountain Song (Jane’s addiction)
    Popeye identified it I think; not sure if he changed anything.
    Song 2: Running Up That Hill (a Deal With God). Identified by Honeysuckle (although he didn’t realize it). Changed exercise to Freddy Mercurys , then we El Capitan’ed up the hill for the remainder. When YHC changed the lyric to “ lunging up that hill,” Pope quickly and even more wittily added “ make a deal with quads.”
    …Good, Pope. I can feel your schmaltz. I am defenseless. Strike me down with all your humor, and your journey towards the Dad Jokes will be complete!
    Song 3: There is a Mountain by Donovan. Crowd favorite to end it.

    Mosey to flag for COT
    Thanks for putting up with it, my dudes. Always an honor to lead.

    AB

    And don’t worry—nobody will have to try and figure this game out again. For better or worse, sometimes a trilogy should remain a trilogy.

  • Railroaded – from Goose

    YHC was admittedly excited about the idea for this beatdown. It came much earlier than the usual 10pm the night before, and YHC even hyped it two days early hoping to stir some interest. However, with crickets on the GroupMe and excuses flying like flatulence at the Lion’s Den, it looked like there may be no one to enjoy such a highly anticipated feast of chance, strategy, teamwork, and train tracks. But, a strong representation of the PAX (even Dox, who had to leave early to get to clinics) charitably made their way to the Peltch this morning worked up enough interest to make it all feel worthwhile.

    Enough of the pleasantries, this beatdown was a cutthroat competition for European dominance via railway, and it went something like this:

    YHC: Alright, 6:30, let’s get warmed up.

    White Meat: (somewhat obscure quote from early 90’s movie)

    (…this leads to all but Valve discussing said movie, which left YHC and Valve the only ones doing any counting. Some definite foreshadowing here…)

    (All mosey to the Thunderdome where the board game “Ticket to Ride is set up on a cinder block-carboard table)

    YHC: Ok, here are the rules. We’ll split up into three teams of three players each.

    (Counts off–teams are: 1. Dox, AB, YJ 2. Pope, White Meat, Duke 3. Valve, Maneater, YHC)

    YHC: Each team will pick a card, which has a route on it. You’ll need to place your colored train cars on the different colored tracks that will connect all the cities on your route to connect the start and end points in a non-stop chain of trains.

    Dox to AB: Ok, if we start with this one here in Zurich, we can connect to Venezia…

    YHC: Hey, listen to the instructions, you can strategize later.

    Dox: I can do both at the same time.

    YHC: Not so sure. …So, you can claim a track connecting two cities if you do the exercises and the reps that correspond to the color of the track and the number of train cars it indicates you need. So,…

    AB to Dox: I think we should make our way through Duetchland. Did you notice that I said “Deutchland”? That’s because I…

    YHC: You’re gonna want to pay attention to this. So, if a track has three red car spaces, you would look at this board and see that a red car space means 15 merkins, so each member of your team would need to do 45 merkins.

    YJ: (While AB and Dox are whispering and pointing to Amsterdam) Wait, what color are we?

    YHC: And, if there is an engine on a space, that means you need to run to the gate and back.

    Maneater: Nope

    YHC: And, if another team claimed a track you need, you can put one of your stations on the city it connects to and use that track, but a station is earned by your whole team bear crawling around the perimeter of the thunderdome.

    Dox to AB: …and if we cut through Budapest…

    YHC: Oh, and these spaces outlined in black are tunnels. That means the reps are doubled for those spaces. Here are the exercises and reps indicated by each color track/space on the board:

    -Red: 15 Merkins
    -Black: 10 Burpees
    -Blue: 15 Jump Squats
    -White: 15 Bonnie Blairs (2:1)
    -Green: 20 Big Boy Situps
    -Orange: 20 Crunchy Frogs
    -Pink: 20 Toe taps (plank, reach through and touch opposite toe, 2:1)
    -Yellow: Line jumps for 1 min, 20 second break between (two feet jump back and forth over a line)

    White Meat: (somewhat obscure quote from early 90’s movie)

    YHC: Once you’ve completed the route on the card, you can pick another route card, either a short one or a long one, but if you pick it, you’re committed to completing it. For the cards you complete, you get the number of points indicated on the card, but for the ones incompleted, you lose that number of points. You also will get points for each train car on the board, and the longer the track chosen between cities, the more points you get for it.

    AB to Dox: …we should definitely go through Essen. I have a lot of friends there…

    YHC: Any questions? Guys! I said, “Any questions?”

    YJ: Wait, what team am I on?

    YHC: Ok, begin!

    (YHC, Valve, and Maneater immediately start cranking out 60 crunchy frogs apiece, and White Meat, Pope, and Duke are doing what seems to be 10 minutes worth of big boys. Meanwhile, the blue team seems to have claimed three or four full tracks before anyone else gets back to the board.)

    Dox: Alright, now we just need these three and an engine to go up to Kobenhaven…

    Valve: No! Why in the world do you need Kobenhaven?? Goose! We gotta run!

    Maneater: Oh, God

    (Goose and Valve take off in an effort to beat AB, Dox, and YJ to the gate and back, but it doesn’t matter–somehow, they’ve already done the other exercise reps needed to claim that track, so YHC’s team is stuck with a perimeter bear crawl in order to place a station. I mena, you can’t get to Stockholm without going through Kobenhaven!)

    White Meat: (somewhat obscure quote from early 90’s movie)

    Dox: Alright, we’re done with this route, let’s pick another card.

    Pope: (as he finishes his 80th Bonnie Blair) Did he say “done with this route”?

    YHC (internally): I never want to do another crunchy frog for as long as I live.

    Valve to Maneater and YHC: Well, it looks like we could either do 60 burpees or 80 crunchy frogs to get to Pamplona.

    Maneater and YHC: Crunchy frogs it is.

    Pope: No! Blue claimed the track we needed again! I guess those Bonnie Blairs were wasted. Gotta do another perimeter craw.

    AB: We’re running out of blue train cars to put on the board. Let’s just start using the black ones.

    Dox to AB and YJ: Alright, we’ve done seventeen cards, and it’s 7:15, so I’ve got to go. You guys ought to be able to get another ten or twelve, huh?

    AB and YJ: You bet–we’ve got plenty of gas in the tank. This is fun!

    YHC to Valve: (panting heavily) I’m having trouble seeing straight–what color is that?

    Valve: It’s blue–they’re all over the board, like a stage 4 cancer

    White Meat: (somewhat obscure quote from early 90’s movie)

    AB to YJ: So, that’s 60 total big boys. How many have you done so far?

    YHC to AB: Wait, are you guys each doing all the reps, or are you splitting the total amongst your team?

    AB: Don’t worry, we’re splitting them up. We wouldn’t be so crazy as to each do all those reps. That would be ridiculous.

    YHC to White Meat and Pope: Are you guys splitting them up?

    Pope: No, we’re each doing the whole rep total.

    YHC to AB: Exactly! That’s what we’re all supposed to be doing!

    AB: Dox was confident that he heard it was a compilation. And now he’s on his way to work soothing his lemon truck woes with the smug confidence of an inevitable victory.

    Valve to YHC: Injustice happens. Looks like we’re bear crawling another lap.

    (AB and YJ honorably change their rep counts with 10 minutes left to match the actual rules somehow missed in the explanation, knowing that there will be some substantial point docking at the end. The other two teams keep on keeping on, all the while completely avoiding all black tracks. Seriously, not one burpee was done. It’s amazing what lengths we’ll go to to avoid burpees when given any other option.
    7:30 hit and points were tallied with the blue team graciously forfeiting 1/3 of their points. Counted off and three wearables were rewarded: Phil the Pain went to Pope, The Fire Within went to Valve, and Blue Tube went to YHC)

    YJ: (Prayer)

    White Meat: (somewhat obscure quote from early 90’s movie)

  • Stroll in the Park – from Safety Valve

    Saturdays beatdown that YHC Q’d at the Peltch was too fluffy. There was too much downtime and even White Meat didn’t complain about the work load. Was it fun, maybe to some extent. Even that is too much for me. Today we get back to basics.

    Warmaramma
    SSH
    Willy mays hays
    Imperial walkers
    Wind mills
    Arm circles
    Cherry pickers
    Self love

    Thang 1
    7s at out typical stops along the one mile rich man’s loop.
    First stop 7 burpees.
    Second stop 7 burpees, 14 merkins
    Third stop 7 burpees, 14 merkins, 21 jump squats
    Fourth stop 7 burpees, 14 merkins, 21 jump squats, 28 flutter kicks (2:1)

    Thang 2 – Song
    To a random song named “Vote” by an unknown artists, YHC was trying to prepare the PAX for Election Day tomorrow without over doing it. Not sure if it really worked. Either way we held Al Gore for the duration and did burpees on the word “vote”

    Thang 3
    11s with Freak Nasties and star jumps. In between we ran a lap around the stage.

    With 4 minutes left call your Mary ensued – 6 inch hold, LBCs (White Meat was definitely thinking it), wife pleasers (Goose has been calling a lot of these lately. Everything ok buddy?), a single V-up from pope.

    COT, blue tube went from white meat to YHC, tap prayed us out.

    F3 Thibodaux anniversary beatdown on Thursday at the Den.

    #renewyourvalves
    It felt nice getting back to the usual Valve routine today. Wake up, pray, come up with a beatdown that sounds reasonable on the 5 minute car ride to the Stage. Sometimes we feel the need to branch out and try something new- hence the Saturday “fun” beatdown. This is by no means a bad thing. How else will we continue to grow and discover more useless trivia knowledge if we do not branch out? But, there is something nice about being the person you are and being perfectly happy about it.

  • F3 Monopoly – from Safety Valve

    YHC set out to devise a beatdown that incorporated a Paradox level of creativity, with an AB level of confusing instructions, and a dash of competitiveness that would make Goose proud. YHC also needed to figure out a way to get the PAX to fill the 80 pound GORUCK medicine ball that Wet Tap gifted to us. What came of this mix was the first edition of F3 Thibodaux Monopoly.

    Upon arriving at the Peltch, YHC was feeling confident. Got there early enough to set up, but after fiddling with the light at the tennis courts with no luck, time was running low. After choosing the thunderdome and setting up, YHC ran to greet 5 other Hims about 3 minutes late. Enron would be proud. Pope was already back asleep in his bed by the time SSH started since YHC forgot to pick him up on the way. There are some things in life that your friends will never let you forget. Along with showing up late that one time, this might be added to the list.

    Warmaramma
    SSH
    Willy mays hays
    Imperial walkers
    Wind mills
    Arm circles
    Cherry pickers
    Self love

    Indian run mosey through the Peltch with a 5 merkin drop off ensued to warm ourselves up for the game at hand. We eventually ended up at the thunderdome where the board was set-up.

    Game-play:
    Stations/Properties up for grabs:
    1. Wet Tap’s Water Works – Thrusters
    2. Advanced Eye Avenue – Jump Squats
    3. Family Doctor Clinic Way – V-ups
    4. Enron Tax – Curls
    5. Goose’s Place – Bonnie Blairs
    6. Mitchell Family Eye Lane – Merkins
    7. Suckles Railroad – Reverse Flys
    8. White Meat Plantation Road – LBCs

    Each PAX member started on a property and completed as many reps as possible. The timer for the AMRAP was the PAX at the “Pass Go” space completing 20 BBSU. After completing the 20 BBSU, this person rolled a die. If the number rolled was a 1, 2, 3, or 4. That person got to add that many scoops of sand to the 80 pound medicine ball. Rolling a 5 put you in “free parking” where you skipped the next property and held plank for the duration of the following persons turn. Rolling a 6 put you in jail – the only way to get out of jail was to complete 20 burpees. The PAX member who completed the most reps at each property owned that property at the end of the game. By the time the medicine ball was filled, tap owned most of the city. That meant he got to go first for the next thang.

    The medicine ball, henceforth known as “Tiny”, had to make it back to the flag somehow. Each person would get a chance to hold our new baby and take 20 steps toward the flag with her. That person also got to decide the mode of transport for the rest of the PAX. After going through bear crawls, crawl bear, lunges, reverse lunges, broad jumps, bunny hops, etc. we finally made it. Unfortunately, there was still time on the clock and YHC’s truck was parked next to the thunderdome. We brought Tiny back to where we came from. This time with the rest of the PAX doing sprints to the flag and back to the person carrying Tiny.

    COT, prayers lifted up, Tap prayed us out.

    #Renewyourvalves
    Love God and love others. This is all.