F3 New Orleans

Tag: Zoolander

  • No Respect – from Steve

    The other day I yawned and hurt myself. If that sounds like a poor set up to a Rodney Dangerfield joke, it isn’t. More of a morality tale, really – just another true life example of what happens to your body when you stop posting regularly. Things have gotten so bad, my Garmin now congratulates me if I simply cross the 6,000 steps benchmark. To put that in perspective for you non-pedometrists (yeah, not a word, I know), Hawgcycle will knock out more than that at 11pm on his daily 10k. Anyway, point is, YHC realized it was beyond time to dip my toes back in the water and get back in the Q game.

    A lone Jose was the only man present when I arrived, listening, I’m fairly certain, to a comedy routine on his phone. (It wasn’t, unfortunately, Dangerfield.). T-claps to Teach for making it out, as today is his first day back at school and he could’ve easily stayed back in Covington. But no, not this guy. The rest of the gang rolled in – Bypass, Hogsbreath, Zoo – and we got the party started.

    Warmorama: WM, GM, IW, AC, AP, SSH, HK, BK’s (yeah, a bit of decoding to do there); all the slow ones at x10 IC, faster ones up to x20 IC.

    YHC stretched the warm up a bit longer than usual, as I was expecting a late arrival from Cowbell. Was YHC disappointed? Of course not. It’s comforting to know that, in this rapidly evolving world we live in, some things really don’t change.

    The Thang:
    With Cowbell in tow, we kicked things off with 10x Kraken Burpees (3 hand release merkins in each burpee).

    Mosey towards the tunnel, stopping two more times for 10x Kraken burpees at each stop. With the Kraken fully released and the PAX already irritated at my return to Q, onward through the (darker-than-usual) wooded path to the tunnel, where all good things happen.

    Tunnel Partner Routine:
    Keeping things simple here, one partner runs the tunnel out and back, the other performs said exercises: big boys, squats, merkins, chest presses with rocks. That’s right, there are rocks next to the tunnel. It’s kinda like the Gipper’s quarry, just on steroids. Put it this way, YHC had planned on doing curls, but the rocks are just too damn big.

    As they say, time flies when you’re having this much fun, and so it was already time to hustle back to the flag (though we were able to stop and knock out a quick set of 30x IC Freak Nasties at the bus depot).

    Back right on time for COT: countdown, nameorama, announcement (Amnesia’s Tarpon Sprint Triathlon in Houma on Saturday – DM him for details if interested!), and Hogsbreath prayed us out.

    Thanks for the warm welcome back gents, and the opportunity to lead such a great group of men. SYITG.

  • Alvin Kamara LITE – from Waterpik

    Scrounge around the garage for some coupons and emerge with a punching bag, a kettle bell, and some empty large pool chlorine buckets. There are some Alvin Kamara offseason training videos floating around you tube and this was an exceptionally weak attempt at replicating his workout.

    Here’s what happened.
    Strap a rope to the punching bag and drag it to the shaft on the Lakefront and back. Each Pax completed that at least once.

    YHC filled the chlorine buckets with water. Each pax competed step ups on the seawall and well as carrying the buckets the the street and back.

    Use the kettle bell for 50 reps of American hammer.

    Cot and thanks for letting me lead. Thanks to true coat for praying is out.

  • Gnarly Hangover – from Zoolander

    Four veteran pax converged upon the Scramble this Thursday morning. Admittedly, none of us posted at the Gnarley Nutria, so we at least had an excuse to be well rested. We warmed up with 10 IC SSH, Toe touches, windmills, Apollo Ohnos, and 41 merkins OYO. Ran the normal route with minimal disruption from the deluge remnants that plagued Mandeville earlier in the week. Steve and Bushwacker carried the 12, while Shooter and YHC unabashedly represented the 6. Cooled down with a 4-exercise circuit on the playground equipment: pull ups, leg lifts, chest presses, and hyperextensions. Count, name, pray, out.

    Great to be with you fellas early in the morning. SYITG.

  • 1 year anniversary – from Jose10k

    Warm-up: ssh, grass grabbers, arm circles, windmills all reps of 15 in honor of my daughter turning 15 on Tuesday. The thang: moseyed to the courthouse for some dora. 100 merkins, 200 squats, 300 lbcs partner work. While one partner was performing each exercise, the second partner climbed the walkway rails hand over hand. Once finished, moseyed back to the parking garage entrance, then sprint up the inclines up to the top. Once at the top, Moby busted out the chain. We gathered in a line and each man pulled the chain across the parking garage. Last 5 minutes, busted out some mary. Leg raises, crunchy frogs, etc.. COT and Shooter prayed us out. BBQ busted out some birthday brownies along with some party poppers. Thanks to his wife for the tasty treats.
    Thanks for letting me lead, thanks for celebrating 1 year at the A1C, and thanks for the support for creating the AO. Y’all push me to be better.

  • Some things old, some people new – from Russo

    Based on reading backblasts and personal witness, it’s the opinion of YHC that the MVP of summer beatdowns is Jose 10k. But recently, Bypass is giving Jose a run for his money for July. Joining us just over a week ago, not only has he continued to post, but he already EH’ed Deep Six into joining us, even if it’s only temporary.

    The “new” were joined by 4 “old” Pax for one of my favorite standbys. Rainy, humid conditions at Granny’s this morning, where we managed to avoid most of the torrential rain both before and after beatdown. We were able to witness the, ahem, progress, the city is making on the splash pad (hence the need for fence construction). Let’s just say there are a few new holes from broken concrete and some more mud than usual.

    Warmup (10-20x, IC)
    – SSH
    – Arm circles
    – Self Love
    – Toe touches
    – High knees
    – Goof balls
    – Imperial Walkers

    We moseyed all around Granny’s and the warehouse to stretch our legs before….

    Thang
    More math with the return of the Deck of Death/Destruction/Discomfort/Delineation

    Suits from a standard card deck represent an exercise, the number/face the number of reps (Aces high at 15 reps). Flip over the card, perform the exercise, rinse and repeat.

    4 Rounds, 13 cards each round….Math!!!
    Spades – Shoulder Tap Merkins
    Clubs – Crab Cakes
    Diamonds – Jump squats
    Hearts – Circle Ups

    Spades – Merkins
    Clubs – Calf Raises (2x)
    Diamonds – SMCs
    Hearts – Leg raises

    Spades – Carolina Drydocks
    Clubs – Monkey Humpers
    Diamonds – Squats
    Hearts – 6 inch drill (IC)

    Spades – Peter Parker’s (2 is 1)
    Clubs – Plank Jacks (2 is 1)
    Diamonds – High knees (5x)
    Hearts – Gas Pumps

    In between rounds, we moseyed through the columns at Granny’s slalom style. YHC has to note that Jose must have known his MVP status was in jeaopardy, because he absolutely killed the last mosey.. He and Zoolander completely left the rest of the pax in their wake.

    With just a minute or so left, old fashioned merkin wave closed us out, where again Jose outperformed!

    We closed with the COT, name o rama, announcements, and prayer.

    Reminders:
    Gnarly Nutria tomorrow! Meet at 7:45 around the old Winn Dixie

    Friday: A1C one year anniversary – 5:15AM and PickleBall at Pelican Park around 6:30 (I think)

    Thank you again for the opportunity to lead, and I hope if you’re reading this, you’re safe, high, and dry from today’s storms.

    SYITG

  • The (Birthday) “Cake Walk” – from Grundy

    One might ask why someone would willingly hang around a group of guys who without fail would say that they hate them at the end every workout. To continue to endure that type of verbal abuse for 4 and a half years seems insane. But on this specific July 10th, those words would not be obligatorily uttered any more. The word “hate” would be replaced by silence. On this specific day, YHC moved over into the realm of “Those Who Shall Not be Named” (Those Who Shall Not be Named = The age group of 30-49 where you earn no extra “hate” or “respect”).

    I was now free of hate but had strangely grown accustomed to hearing it! So, in order to receive the word I had heard every workout for 4 ½ years, I had to give the PAX another reason to “hate” me. No problem, that would be a “cake walk”.

    Pre-Thang
    Normal warmup sequence commenced In Cadence ranging from 10-30 counts.
    • SSH
    • Windmills
    • Good Mornings
    • Arm Circle Series

    The Q then took the PAX on a longer than typical mosey to Milestone Marsh where the cake walk would begin.

    The Thang
    Credit Zoolander for saying the week previously that it would be funny to create a workout sequence called the “cake walk” that actually was really difficult. Challenge accepted! Since the beatdown would be on the Qs actual 30th birthday, it just made too much sense to create a workout that had the word “cake” in it. After a quick poll via GroupMe from both the Northshore and Southshore, a quick list of most “hated” exercises were gathered. From there, the Q just worked in the number of the day “30” and the (birthday) “cake walk” was born.

    The cake walk goes like this. Start on the baseline of the basketball court, you will begin with 30 lunge pulses on the right side pausing on every fifth rep for a five count hold before continuing the reps. Continue until every rep is complete. Once finished, you crab walk to half court (you can thank Zoolander again for suggesting this one on GroupMe) to do 29 Sister Mary Catherines. Crab walk back to the baseline for 28 Carolina Dry Docks. Crab walk to half court for 27 Bulgarian split squats (right side). Crab walk one more time back to the baseline for 26 manmakers in cadence (a real crowd pleaser). After you finish that, this is where you can insert a ten count or two since there is no crab walk after the manmakers which means you will still be on the baseline of the basketball court.

    You repeat the sequence of descending reps of Lunge Pulses, Sister Mary Catherines, Carolina Dry Docks, Bulgarian Split Squats, and Manmakers starting now on 25. For every sequence of the 5 exercises, you switch which leg you would do for the lunges and Bulgarian split squats. So, in the second sequence you would do your left side. Continue this sequence until you do the last manmaker!

    Finishing this was quite a challenge and the lack of mumblechatter just further evidenced that fact. Although, legend has it that Barely Legal is still out there doing his speedy crab walks! The workout was done, and the time showed 7:29 AM when we finished the last manmaker. We were half a mile from the lakefront flag but the PAX was gracious with their sentimental Q on this day. We decided that despite the time, we would take a nice walk back most of the way to the flag.

    Once we arrived around the flag we were able to officially welcome our newest FNG Pro Bono! After that I was able to express my gratitude to a group of men who quite literally shaped the man I am today. A group who showed me that as we strengthened our bodies we were also strengthening our friendships, leadership capabilities, and character. I wouldn’t trade this group of men and the lessons I’ve learned for anything and am beyond honored to simply be a part of the group. And although I will never hear the required berating of “hate” after my name again, I will never stop feeling the care that I’ve felt from the first day when I showed up one Saturday morning back in February of 2017. A feeling of care that has continued to grow and which actually feels a lot like love.

    Until Next Time,
    Grundy (He Who Must Not be Named)

  • Simple little Mosey – from Shooter

    3 PAX journeyed through the streets of Mandeville this Gloom. At first it appeared to only be Zoolander and YHC until out of the darkness a double flagged what looked like a UFO came rolling in. Amnesia biked in 8 miles from home to join us. I have money 💰 on the fact that he registers more miles between run and bike to the WWII team challenge currently underway..
    Brief warmup 10IC Windmills, Toe Touches, self love, scorpion kicks and Torso twists..
    Changed our direction down to Villere taking a left to Girord to Lakeshore and back up West Beach with a left at Monroe and returning to the AO..
    Time was around 40 mins and with Qs Garmin being a little aggressive at 5 miles I will scale back and say we completed roughly 4 to 4.5..

    Amnesia closed us out in prayer..

    Until the next Gloom 👊🏼👍🏼✌🏼!!

  • Core Crusher and Flickerball – from Zoolander

    from TruCoat…”15 assembled Saturday at the North Shore Lakefront for a multi-phase workout and coffee. Following a short warm-up, the group conquered a 15 minute core toning medley of mountain climbers, V-ups, supermans, squats or jump tucks, and side touches. After a short mosey and 6 rounds of merkins with a soccer ball twist, the group divided and faced off for a 25 minute flickerball match. The Masters, led by Tanked-Up, and the Seniors led by very-soon-to-be-30 Grundy sprinted back and forth the long field trading scores. In the final moments, the Seniors’ secret weapon, 12 year old Baby Yoda, scored with a laser shot to the back of the goal. Bean made the highlight reel with impressive defense and Bird fearlessly recovered balls out of Lake Pontchartrain, proving gators, rough seas, and the possibility of a double dose Z-pak were no match for this aquaman. The game drew a few spectators, possibly to admire the elegant passing among the sides, or more likely, hypnotized by bare-chested Bushwacker wearing a much too small youth pinny. A good time had by all! ”

  • Time to be a Big Boy – from Waterpik

    Crowds have been smaller than usual this summer at the various beatdowns around town with many regulars out of
    Town with family vacations.

    Circle up around the shovel flags to warmup, with SSHs, ACs, squats, imperial walkers.

    Mosey westward almost to the gazebo and the pax got down to business.

    First up were 11s with derkins on the sea wall and burpees at the street. YHC instructed the pax to bear crawl to the walking path, then jog to the street to do the burpees. On the way back the pax back pedaled.

    Only about halfway to the closing bell, YHC made sure everyone was a Big Boy. Partner up and do 3 sets of 20 Big Boy sit ups while partner holds feet down. Switch.

    Circle back up for a set of Al Gores. Sprinkle in some Peter parkers, and one footed and two feet hops. 15 minutes to spare.

    Last on the list for this downpainment was a set of 5s. Same as previous with Derkins and burpees as the exercises.

    With less than 5 minutes to spare, the pax moseyed back to the flags.

    Cot and thanks to Manny for praying us out.

    Thanks for letting me lead

  • We ran!! – from Shooter