F3 New Orleans

Tag: Zoolander

  • Excuse Me While I Kiss the Ground

    So there we were…how every great story starts…today was the commencement of what will hopefully become an annual CSAUP, Uncle Hammer’s 1000 Burpee Beatdown.

    First: Special Shoutouts —

    Jose 10k –DJ Jose had the best possible music, with songs individualized for members of the PAX

    Moby Dick –Dude’s 71, that’s right, 71, and he is out there making us middle agers look bad.

    Hawgcycle — Did this CSAUP on the Southshore by himself in just over 2 hours…no idea how he accomplished that. Awesome work!

    Now onto the beatdown:

    0610: Knowing this would likely be an all day affair, we skipped the normal 2 mile pre-thang, instead moseying from the flags towards the beach, stopping at each fire hydrant for a set of 10 burpees (6 sets out, 6 sets back =120). DJ 10k had Brother Angus lead us off, picking the axe (See what I did there) like lightning, but sounding like thunder. Then, while most of us may be partial to Southern Belles, Mr. David Lee Roth, with help from Steve Vai, pined for a young lass named Yankee Rose. As if the blood wasn’t pumping hard enough by 0615, Vince Neil kickstarted our hearts even further. Before we knew it, we were 1/8 the way to our goal. We returned with the remaining PAX awaiting to begin.

    0630– No warmup necessary. Jump right into the EMOM of 6 burpees. Doing this mitigates the overwhelming thought of 1000, as well as helping with the physically challenging nature of the CSAUP. As the Zen philosopher Basho once said, or maybe it was Bushwhacker, “A journey of 1000 miles begins with a single burpee.” How true.

    Mentally, the wash rinse and repeat of doing this for an hour can be quite taxing. This is where DJ Jose was so great. Always thinking of other, he picked out songs for most of the PAX. Some included were:

    The Bird (Morris Day and the Time) –Bird

    U Can’t Touch This (MC Hammer) –Hammer

    Some Moby Song —Moby Dick

    Relax (Frankie Goes to Hollywood) –Zoolander

    The Best Around (From Karate Kid) –Russo

    To be honest, the hour was over before we knew it. Most PAX were asking to continue for another hour, and Hammer could easily have been elected mayor of CSAUPtown but for all the mail in ballots. However, they all missed their wives so much, they could not bear to continue for another minute. That was the right choice, guys, as hard as it was to make.

    So, by 0730: 120+365 (5 minutes were sets of 7)+ 15 (a burpee for each PAX during COT) = 500

    Halfway home by coffeeteria!

    PHASE 2: Do 250 OYO throughout the day before reconvening at 6 pm at Grandmother’s House. Some went more traditional –Hammer did 25 sets of 10 throughout the day (looked weird doing it outside the Pelican Park gym before 2.0’s basketball game). DJ 10k did his while his M worked out. Of course, he overachieved, doing another 350 before lunch. Russo knocked the rest of his out before I got home, it seemed. Hawg’s Breath did a few with his adorable daughter on his back, like the true bad ass he is. However we decided to get it done, we finished 750 before twilight.

    PHASE 3: Final 250 at Grandma’s

    6 skrong at Grandma’s at 1800. Turbo, Bird, Jose, Hammer, Hawg’s Breath, Akbar. Knocked out the last quarter in just over 30 minutes. Having an eclectic mix to inspire us: CCR, NIN, and Billy Idol (twice, in fact. No really.)

    …And done! We then enjoyed some F2 at Old Rail, then home to bed.

    Thank you all for joining in this venture. Each of you inspired me along the way, and I am indebted to you all for the kindness, generosity, friendship, and leadership you all display.

    For those that “missed” it, there will always be next year!

  • Nothing Good Ever Happens at the Tunnel

    At least that’s what Zoolander says. Or, perhaps it was first said by Jose 10k. Who knows? But, after a brief warmup consisting of SSHs, GMs, HKs, BKs, ACs, and Self Love, YHC led the Pax on a Mosey to the tunnel for:

    THE THANG

    Partner up. P1 jogs through the tunnel and back, sprinting up the inclines on the both sides. P2 does 10 merkins, 10 smurf jacks, and 10 rower situps. Switch. Set the timer for 10 minutes and off we go.

    SLOW Mosey back to bus stop for 2 sets of 10: Derkins, box jumps.

    Mosey back to flag for bunny hops (2 columns), bear crawls (2 more columns), and back pedals (the rest of the covered area), then jog back, R and R (5 minutes).

    Mary: Cowbell’s crunchy frogs, flutter kicks, hello dollies, Freddy merc’s.

    COT and YHC prayed us out.

    It’s always an honor, men, to be a part of such an inspirational group. And, I am definitely a better man because of your positive vibes over the past 3 years. The positive habits that F3 engenders are definitely life changing.

  • Cool Runnings

    With a majority of the PAX still reeling from Week 3 of the IPC, YHC knew the turnout would be relatively light for today’s Scramble. With a light breeze making for some “relatively cool temperatures”, the minor break from the heat and humidity gave the PAX a September reprieve.

    The Rules of the Gloom were each PAX had to do 100 merkins and 100 squats along the traditional Scramble route. The only other wrinkle was that each man was to pick up the pace along the long straight road to Sunset Point, both coming and going.

    Five minutes of Mary and thanks to Bushwacker for praying us out.

  • Main Event Was Not a Work Out

    Yes, you guessed it! The main event surrounded Jose’s pride and joy–his sweat jug! You remember… the one that some of his teacher friends reportedly spotted in the back seat of his car during a recent, quick trip for lunch. Mickey D’s, anyone? Just imagine the ‘splainin that must have taken place on that ride. Oh, to have been a fly on the windshield that day. To the amazement of the Northshore PAX, Jose 10k, in typical F3 fashion, rose to the, ahem, “challenge” and filled his sweat jug in a measley 16 DAYS! I’m sure in Zoo’s wildest dreams he did not figure he’d be getting doused on the Lakefront on September 12th. If I were a betting man, Halloween would be where I placed my moolah. And I’d imagine that’s what Zoo was counting on, too. But, not Jose. He “squeezed” in about 4 T-shirts a day! Let’s count em. 1) The beatdown in the gloom. 57 straight, but who’s counting? 2) ISI 3) mowing the lawn (everyday???) 4) moving Goose out of his house (lagniappe). 5) Who knows what else? It’s Jose. The man never stops!

    So there we were. Zoolander. Jose 10k. The entire F3 Northshore PAX. And the Smelly Bucket of Sweat with that BROWN STUFF at the bottom. Does anyone know what that stuff was? I was afraid to ask. Anyway, back to the moment. It was time for Jose to do the honors. And that he did, launching the Lowe’s bucket full of brown, rancid, baked / aged sweat at Zoolander, blasting him squarely in the chest. Zoo, then did the best thing he could to quickly cleanse the body, jumped in the Lake. But, hey, I give Zoolander credit; he took it like a man. The anticipation was palpable, Jose was giddy, and Zoo, a man of his word, was brave. And the PAX? We were nauseated, looking at the rife liquid in the bucket. The Hammer said he turned around so he didn’t barf. And poor Zoo, I don’t think he would have ever heard the end of it if he tried to get out of it. So T-Claps to him, for coming up with the challenge and taking it like and man, and to Jose, for filling the bucket so quickly, so we all could get a good laugh.

    Did I mention there were 2 beatdowns today?

    Well, there was, and the toughest one is part of a nationwide F3 challenge sponsored by F3 Greenwood, South Carolina. It’s called the Iron Pax Challenge, and it’s not for the faint of heart. After a brief warmup of Seal Jacks, Arm Circles, Cherry Pickers, Mountain Climbers, and Imperial Walkers, Steve led the Iron Paxers to the west on the Lakefront for a grueling 43 minute circuit beatdown, where the PAX moves from one station to the next, carrying a cinder block coupon, doing exercises along the way try in AMRAP fashion.

    Of course, it should come as no surprise that the Iron PAXers acquitted themselves admirably with the following rep counts:

    TankedUp – 651

    The Hammer – 545

    Butt Splice – 528

    Zoolander – 490

    Jose 10k – 486

    Toto – 450

    T-Claps to all PAX willing to endure Iron PAX. It definitely is a DOWNPAINMENT!

    Meanwhile, YHC led the rest of the PAX Eastward for a series of Tabata sets. Clock set for 30 second sets, with 30 secs of rest between. Exercises were merkins, plank Jacks, jump squats, smurf jacks, flutter kicks, Apollo Ono’s, monkey humpers, and leg raises.

    Mosey to playground equipment at East end of Lakefront for 4 rounds of the following exercise:

    19 Merkins (commemoration of 19 yr anny of 9-11-01)

    Bear Crawl 20 yards

    Pop up and Run around perimeter of entire fence at east end of lakefront, back to starting line.

    Rinse and Repeat 4 times.

    Mosey back to Flag.

    Thanks for the entertainment today, Zoolander and Jose 10k! We enjoyed it!

    Prayers for our nation and for those families affected by the 9-11 Terrorist Attacks. May we always REMEMBER. STAY VIGILANT. STAY STRONG

    Thanks for following my lead today, guys.

    COT and thanks to Russo for praying us out!

  • Jose’s Pride and Joy

    Yep, you guessed it! It’s his sweat jug! (Zoo is starting to get nervous, folks). It’s not that he has his very own AO, the prized, smartly named, A1C (reminds me of Vanilla Ice). Nor is it his nickname, which he re-branded himself from Jose Mourinho to Jose 10k, more recently to Grumble Grumble (and who knows what else).

    We came here to exercise didnt we, Pik? Oh, yeah, here we go…

    YHC broke out and old standby today at the A1C, the Tabata workout. Every 30 seconds, the PAX did an AMRAP exercise with 30 seconds of rest in between. The exercises were: big boy sit-ups, merkins, derkins, flutter kicks, Hello dollies, more merkins, jump squats, bobby hurleys, apollo ohnos, leg raises, stone mountains.

    Thanks for hard work this gloom my brothers! Until next time, SYITG

    Pik

  • Walking on Sunshine

    To commerorate the 15th anniversary of Katrina, as well as the recent tragedy of Hurricane Laura, YHC crafted a beatdown that was not designed to be finished within the allotted time. The indomitable human spirit, however, persevered, and several beasts completed the task.

    We began by saying the Pledge of Allegiance, which will always begin any beatdown Q’d by YHC, and I would encourage all of us to, when Q’ing, take the 30 seconds to unite our hearts as Americans. Regardless of our views, when we can unite as Americans, we can overcome anything.

    Warm-o-rama:

    SSH x 20

    IW x 20

    Windmills x 10

    Way Backs x 10 (Intensified versions of toe touches, with a fully extended reach back upon returning to an upright position — suggested by none other than our newest PAX, my beloved son Pickaxe.

    We then moseyed to Noah’s Ark (a fitting venue for the date). Upon arrival, we paired up, with one partner running approximately halfway down Noah’s Ark while the other did burpees. Each partner took a turn, and once Partner 2 returned, they each completed 50 burpees, starting from the lowest number completed by a partner (i.e. Partner 1 does 15, and Partner 2 does 13, then they each do 37 more to get to 50 apiece. Thus Partner 1 does a little bit more). This initial exercise was designed not to be fair, but to emphasize we give our best even when things are not, and we always pick up our brothers.

    We then broke into a series of high repetition exercises with our partners:

    Cumulative:

    250 Bulgarian Split Squats

    Partner 1: BSS on the seawall

    Partner 2: Run Noah’s Ark

    500 Shoulder Taps

    Partner 1: STs

    Partner 2: Lunge Walk to/from street

    750 LBCs

    Partner 1: LBC

    Partner 2: Crab Walk to street ( I meant Bear Walk, but was told I said Crab Walk –subconciously wanting to intensify), run backwards from street

    1000 SSHs

    Partner 1: SSH

    Partner 2: Run around Noah’s Ark

    A couple of things: ANY exercise, no matter how simple, is HARD after 400 reps. Two, I’m so proud of our young PAX, ranging in age from 9-16 for hanging w/ the old folks. They manifest far greater maturity and composure than I did at that age (or now). One of the great things about F3 is that, when you show up, you are treated as an equal, regardless of age or ability. No one is above, and no one is beneath. We require not equal gifts, but equal sacrifice. Keep up the great work, gentleman, you inspire YHC!

    As stated earlier, a couple of teams finished the beatdown as Rx’d. Amazing.

    We moseyed back to the flag for COT, and welcomed 9 year old Pickaxe to the group. I have on good sourcing that as soon as he got home, he jumped into his parents’ bed and started telling his mother all about the “beatdown”. When Mrs. Hammer asked if he liked it, he responded, “Mom, nobody likes a beatdown, but you push through it.” Pickaxe also wants to make every beatdown every day of the week, even before school, and he is ready for next Saturday. I am so proud of him for coming, and I am humbled by the way each of you inspired him.

    Lastly, as I was running on the lakefront Friday evening, after the rain (intentional nod to the Nelson song), I saw a beautiful rainbow in its full arch. Such ugly weather produced something so profoundly beautiful. I was reminded that is also true in our own lives. In Katrina, we saw the worst of nature, but after, we also saw and experienced some of the best of humanity. People serving other people. We will see that with Laura as well. I am seeing that in my own life, and I hope, when the storms come, you all see it in yours as well. You just have to look.

    Except Jose’s Gallon Sweat Jug. There’s nothing beautiful about that.

  • Windows Up / Heat On

    5 strong at the Scramble this morning as Hurricane Laura pummeled Lake Charles and many of the Thursday regulars prepared for their Gulf Coast CSAUP.

    QIC checked the regular route prior to arriving at the double shovel flag. No barricades or pier closures in sight, so after a quick warmup of 10 Good Mornings, 10 Abe Vigodas, 10 Imperial Squat Walkers, and 1-legged chair stretches, the scramblers scrambled with a few stops along the way for Merkins.

    Wrapped up with 50 LBCs, 50 flutter kicks and 15 Burpees. Jose prayed us out.

    YHC was looking forward to Jose’s daily deposit into the sweat jug, but he left it in the garage! So windows up and heat on for the car ride home to squeeze out every last drop. SYITG!

  • Sayonara Fujiwhara

    Granny’s House was supposed to be a wash out this morning.  70% when I checked last night.  And as much as YHC appreciates a good wet beatdown, after the Marsh’s Week Zero IPC beatdown yesterday, it seemed like maybe some shelter was in order.

    Of course, there was no rain. But we remained sheltered regardless!

    Warmorama: Good mornings, windmills, torso twists, seal jacks, IWs, and SSHs.

    Thang:

    Starting at the trailhead stairs, we’d bear crawl to every 4th column in the corridor and then perform an exercise.  (The guys were probably dismayed to discover these columns just kept going and going…) 

    Exercises were:

    • 60 Squats
    • 50 LBC’s
    • 40 Merkins
    • 30 Flutter Kicks IC
    • 20 Donkey Kicks
    • 10 Burpees

    And then, of course, head back to the start:

    • 60 Dollies
    • 50 Scorpion Kicks
    • 40 Staggered Merks (20 ea. side)
    • 30 Jump Squats
    • 20 Groiners

    What, no 10 burpees? Well…

    Coconuts was on the brain after talking about him at coffee Monday, so I thought we should bring back one Coconut classics, The Dab:

    10 burpees EMOM for 5 minutes, followed by a 300 yard run.  Rinse and repeat! (This seemed brutal, but then I just kept thinking about the time that Maverick began a beatdown with 100 straight burpees.)

    Normally YHC would search for a GIF to insert here and make the Coconuts tribute complete, but I gotta get to bed for Goose’s final Q tomorrow.

    Mary: Dying cockroaches, leg raises, Freddie Mercs, Rosalitas, something else? 

    Countdown, nameorama, Chewy prayed us out, and Jose filled the sweat jug.  Thank you guys for the push this morning, it was one of those mornings that I really was not feeling, I definitely needed you men out there to get ‘er done! 👊

  • Audibles at Granny’s (I’m not a Professional)

    As YHC pulled up to Granny’s, there was an unusually large group of F3 men ready to start the day off right. With the incessant soreness from Cowbell’s ISI pull-up challenge and Bushwacker’s consistent weekly prodding for some yoga infused workouts, we got started with some power flow, sun salutation, warrior 1, 2, 3, 4, half moon, whatever, whatever…I’m not a professional!

    Mosey to the bus stop. Not a lot of mumble chatter here, and Cowbell even kept his shirt on.

    – Bulgarian split squats (IC),

    – Box Jumps (OYO)

    – Burpee Box Jumps (OYO)

    – Irkins (IC)

    – Dirkins (IC)

    – Freak Nasties (IC)

    – Balls to the Wall Burpees aka Decline Burpees (Durpees?) OYO.

    Mosey to the tunnel, where, according to Jose, nothing good ever happens (including QIC’s cadence counting).

    – Top of the tunnel – 10 Jump Squats IC

    – ½ way down the incline – Merkins, I think

    – ½ way through the tunnel – 12 count body building, mounting climbing, shoulder tapping, squat jumping, burpees (IC). QIC was just calling audibles at this point. I’m not a professional!

    – Sprint to the top of the tunnel for some cool down Imperial Walkers

    – ½ way down the incline – hand rail dirkins, I think

    – ½ way through the tunnel – We did something. It’s a blur after the earlier 12 counts.

    – ½ way up the incline – slow Peter Parker/Parker Peter (there’s a yoga term for this, I’m sure…Bird said we were “flying”…I guess that’s what birds do.)

    – Top of the tunnel – 20 Sister Mary Katherines

    Mosey back to the trailhead, bunny hop up the stairs and reconvene at the shovel flags. Jose, did you notice we had two this morning?

    Closed out with Cowbell Crunchy Frogs and Goose-led Nolan Ryan’s.

    QIC prayed us out into the day. Thanks for posting in numbers today and following my lead, men. SYITG.

  • ROOTS

    Over the past 6 months since since the quarantine, there have been many different routes / variations / themes (speedy’s sprints come to mind) taken for the weekly F3 5K. Today, YHC decided to take the 5k Scramble back to it’s roots, which is around the loop, then all the way to the end of the pier at Sunset Point. Back at the flag, we hit the workout equipment for 10 minutes of circuit training (bear crawls, freak nasties, hanging leg tucks).

    COT and thanks to Akbar for praying us out!

    SYITG

    Pik