YHC got a little too comfortable with all these muggy December mornings and today’s below-40º temps really snuck up on me. I even had some new Christmas gloves I could’ve tested out had I realized before bolting out the door!
Alas, it wasn’t to be. Upon arriving to Granny’s empty home, YHC realized that this was the final beatdown of 2019. Had I known beforehand, I would’ve tried to make it a bit more special… close out the era with a bang. I’ll just have to double my efforts next Q.
Happily, though, it wasn’t a sad clown beatdown as the men pulled a Cowbell and rolled in right as the bell rang.
Warmorama:
Arm Circles (forward and back): IC x20
Merkins OYO x19
SSH, IC x20
Torso Twists, IC x19
Seal Jacks, IC x20
Mountain Climbers, IC x19
We kept the x19’s going for the next round, which was just a short mosey over to the bus depot benches for:
Step Ups (each leg) IC x19
Derkins OYO x19
Bulgarians (each leg) IC x19
Freak Nasties IC x19
Lateral Jump-Overs IC x19
Box Jumps OYO x19
Then onward to the tunnel, for a routine that took up the remainder of our time. Performed the following exercises, with a run to the other side and back between each set:
40 Merkins
30 BB sit-ups
20 Jump Squats
10 Burpees
20 Sister Mary’s
30 T-Merkins
40 4-count Flutter Kicks
Back at the flag for a quick COT, where Zoo prayed us out with blessings for a safe and happy new year. Thank you men for posting this morning and for the opportunity to lead. I look forward to another year of grinding it out with you guys – couldn’t ask for a better group. Happy New Year gents!
YHC ate way too much over his Christmas break and so was quick to respond to Steve’s call to Q this morning. After joining Legal, Hammer and Zoolander for a little Foreplay in the Gloom, YHC circled up the PAX, partnered up with Grover and got down to business with a warmup.
YHC and Grover rotated warmup exercises of Imperial Walkers, SSHs, Hillbillys, Seal Jacks, Butt Kicks and High Knees, all 20x IC. Good job Grover in leading for the first time.
The PAX then headed down the Lakefront for a set of Dora 1-2-3s with a partner: 100 hand release Merkins, 200 45 degree lunges, and 300 SSHs with bear crawls and crab walks in between.
After a brief recovery walk and a short mosey a little further eastward down the Lakefront, YHC set up a few cones for a version of Catch Me if You Can. Partner 1 backpedals about 10 yards from cone 1 to cone 2 while Partner 2 holds at cone 1. As soon as Partner 1 hits cone 2, Partner 2 sprints to try to beat his backpedaling partner to cone 3 about 30 yards away. Recovery walk back with the partners switching spots and then repeating.
Three more sets with three different partners and it was time to dig into the bag of tricks to retrieve a ball for the next stage of our beat down.
The PAX divided into three teams, each with a ball, for a race to the Harbor playground. Despite HanDcock, Esquire’s attempt to confuse matters with lawyerly questions, the rules were very simple for the race: PAX cannot run when holding the ball and each time the ball hits the ground the entire team has to do one burpee before getting underway again. Serious high jinx ensued, and YHC cannot even remember who won except that it wasn’t his team.
The PAX then hit some staggered Merkins and took a brief reprieve and then it was a race back to the starting point, this time using only your non-dominant hand to catch and throw.
Mosey to the virtual shovel flag for some Mary with dynamic back and front planks.
Countorama, nameorama and Goose led us out in prayer on our way to the coffeeteria.
Moleskin
If you are old and grumpy like YHC and think that our youth should be doing something other than spending all of their time glued to their phones, then you need to meet 9 year old Bear and 17 year old Grover. Bear can bear crawl like, well, a bear and singlehandedly kept his team in contention for the ball games this morning and his dad honest on the hand release Merkins. Grover quickly accepted YHC’s invitation to lead this morning’s warmup and cheerfully executed like a seasoned veteran. It is absolutely fabulous to see these two young men join their dads in the Gloom. Mathlete and Akbar should be very proud of their 2.0s.
The Krazy Ivan is coming up, Comrades. All Northshore PAX need to clear their calendars for the evening of January 18th. It is imperative that we have maximum participation. The Southshore PAX have been gloating over last year’s victory and posting pictures of themselves with the Freedom Hammer all year. It’s enough to make you sick.
You’d think with Cowbell returning from the Virgin Islands and YHC returning from a beach trip in Panama City this weekend, that we wouldn’t need all the hats/gloves/tights today. And yet most of us – precluding Shooter, of course – did arrive to this morning’s 34º gloom with the above-mentioned winter accessories.
But of course we warmed up quickly and began shedding the layers. Started things off with: good mornings, windmills, arm circles forward, arm circles backwards, air presses, SSHs, seal jacks, IWs, and hillbillies. (Ranging from 10x for the slowish ones to 20x for the faster ones.)
Then, because YHC was having second thoughts about certain sections of my planned beatdown, we took a mosey around the perimeter of the trailhead to give me time to think. Once back, we finally dove in:
Partner up at the head of the corridor: P1 will do burpee broad jumps while P2 runs the stairs and back to relieve P1. Journey across the courtyard and all the way back to the start.
Second Partner Corridor Exercise: P1 does 4x lunges, 8x squats across, while P2 runs up stairs and back to relieve. Across and back again.
Next, recovery walk over to the stage for some Balls To The Wall. YHC has probably only done BTTW once before, and had originally planned to do 60 seconds of it sprinkled a few times throughout the beatdown. That got shut down real quick after we recovered from our first minute.
Stayed with that same section of the stage wall, this time for a People’s Chair with overhead air presses, increased the time to 75 seconds.
After that, grab a partner for some Lazy Doras. Cowbell introduced this one to the Northshore PAX during his first F2 event, and it was no bueno. So YHC figured why not inflict it on the unsuspecting men this morning?
P1 10 merkins while P2 planks, swap until you’ve reached 100
P1 15 squats while P2 Al Gores, up to cumulative 150
P1 20 LBC’s, while P2 holds legs 6″ off ground, up to 200
A slowesy back to the corridor for the combo sprints/peter parkers/parker peters that I’m so fond of, and then it was time for Mary: flutter kicks, Hello Dolly’s, and Rosalie’s to wrap it up.
COT and Zoo prayed us out, with special intentions for his sister and her family, who lost their house to a fire last weekend. Lift them up this week as they deal with the loss.
Thanks men for the spur to get out of bed on cold mornings like this one, and the opportunity to lead and get sharper!
10 men braved the Olga aftermath to see what was on the No Power Menu this past Saturday. YHC may not be able to remember much of what was actually on the menu, but I can tell you what was not on the menu: a fun game of mud football wasn’t (or, really, any “fun” in general); a beatdown with a clear vision wasn’t; and a fast cup of strong coffee at coffeeteria wasn’t either. But more on that later.
First, there was much mumblechatter and confusion as to what exactly happened to Wacker. He had posted on the GroupMe that Olga had “slipped in last night and screwed things up.” But many men hadn’t heard that the tropical storm had been named and so, naturally, thought a Russian woman had slipped into Bush’s bed. Obviously, there was a lot of concern and alarm until it was revealed Olga was “not the Russian lady he did that run with a few weeks ago.”
Now, the beatdown. Nevermind that YHC can’t remember the specifics of the warmorama (it’s pretty much the same 15 or so exercises anyway, right?), more of note was that it had to be the darkest warmorama on record. With the power out in the entire neighborhood, it really couldn’t be any darker (unless, of course, we lost the light coming from Hammer and Pik’s phones). YHC kept thinking, how can we do anything in this darkness? No bear crawls, no suicides – what are we gonna just sit in a circle and do side straddle hops all morning??
So… after some SSH’s, we carefully tread over to the playground equipment for a round of 7’s: pull-ups to merkins. Then over to the benches for a second set of 7’s: Freak Nasties to Bulgarians (admittedly, Bulgarians were a bit ill-conceived due to the awkwardness of having to do each leg).
Then carefully back to center court for a set of 1 minute AMRAPs, dealer’s choice: we went around the circle and each man picked an exercise. I can’t remember the exercises: there were merkins, there were jump squats, there were burpees, oh, and then Maverick showed up about this time and made us do Merkins again.
After that, Tank mercifully took the Q for a moment, just as light was starting to peek through. He had us do runs across the court, with a merkin at each end. About 5 laps here to get the heart rate going.
YHC took the Q back for what I thought could be an interesting one: partner up for the slowest Catch Me If You Can ever. P1 will inchworm down the block, P2 will perform 10 merkins, 10 squats, and 10 LBCs, before bear crawling to catch and replace P1. YHC thought it would be fun to go sightseeing down the block (now that there was light) where there were downed power lines, fallen trees, frantic cars, and all sorts of other fun stuff to dodge. But the wise Hammer pulled us back to the safety of the court. This exercise turned out to be not so fun in the end anyway.
Then we split into two teams of 5 and did a relay race across the court. Jose ran so fast that I think he ran straight outta the court and into the home across the street, but he did seal the tie for his team. So, 20 burpees for all.
And… what else? Ah, we finished with a round of Mary: again, a 1 minute AMRAP, dealer’s choice, around the circle. And again, YHC cannot recall the exact exercises, but does remember that Pik had us do calf raises, because I remember thinking, “this isn’t core,” but hey, fair game nonetheless. And Turbo had us do Scuba Steves. And Jose pulled out his fave – Jane Fondas, 1 minute each leg to close it all out.
COT where Tank took center stage to announce the Hundo, which is gaining some traction despite its utter insanity. You gotta love these guys. Akbar prayed us out and then we were on our way in search of coffee. Despite the citywide outage, this group of stragglers wouldn’t take no for an answer and found the local Waffle House to be incredibly accommodating despite the lack of power. T-claps to our cheery waitress, who put up with Hammer’s constant tea refills and a bunch of sweaty guys that had no intention of eating. In the company of these men, that weak, slow-drip coffee was some of the best I’ve ever had.
So while we may never know if those eighteen year olds were able to pull their truck out with bungee cords, like much in life, some things are just better left to the imagination. Gents, thanks for the opportunity to co-lead with Tank, I believe I can speak for both of us when I say that it’s a privilege and honor that we don’t take for granted.
Like the men of F3, Waffle House plans for the expected, but is prepared for the unexpected.
Let’s just acknowledge that there was an actual “crowd” to please in the first place – Grandma’s was a-hoppin’ this morning. Aside from the regulars, there was Zoo, who has started to become a regular. There was Hammer, who not only posted today, but yesterday at the Marsh as well. And then there was Captain, the Chief, the Sparkliest of firefighters and most notable of actors in the Hollywood South, who made a rare guest appearance. Sounds like he may soon bump himself up to a series regular if we continue to EH him (hint, hint). There was also a very vocal owl that greeted the Hammer and I with eerily childlike rantings (YHC was reminded of the Hammer’s demonic, discarded doll), but he didn’t stick around long enough to make the cut. Anyhow, for Granny, it was a packed house.
Warmorama: IWs, torso twists, toe touches, SSHs, and probably something else. Finished with 20x merkins OYO.
As the fall weather settles in, YHC sometimes worries that the PAX just won’t sweat enough. This is the kind of stuff that keeps me up at night. I mean, if Shooter doesn’t sweat during a beatdown, then really what was the point? Luckily temperatures hadn’t dropped too much, but YHC decided to start with a quick mosey around the block to get the blood flowing.
Next up was the “crowd pleaser,” a term YHC takes at face value, rather the ironic one that seems to be intended. In front of the stage (which was well illuminated for some reason this morning), we spread out to four imaginary corners. The routine would be to travel clockwise to each corner, and perform the same exercise x10 until you’ve returned to your original corner. So:
Bear crawl, x10 merkins at each corner Lunge walk, x10 squats at each corner Crab walk, 10x big boys at each corner Frog jumps, 10x burpees at each corner
Recovery walk over to the corridor for partner sprints: P1 holds a people’s chair while doing air presses, P2 sprints half the corridor and back, then the full thing (including the stairs but mindful of our friendly stair-climbing couple) and back to flapjack.
The Grand Finale was a last minute call – seeing that stage so well-lilt, and having an actor in our presence, it seemed necessary to get up there in the spotlight. So we hopped up to center stage for a little game of Rochamburpees. Same partners, rock/paper/scissors with the winner doing 1 merkin and the loser, 1 burpee. Redos for ties, and an ascending count each round, up to 10x. As the odd man out, YHC unfortunately hitched his wagon to the wrong horse, with Captain defying the odds and losing the first 8 straight. Out of sympathy, Cowbell even tried purposefully losing, which failed as well. Such was the bad luck of Cap. In the end, though, he came through when it mattered and secured the final two wins.
Back to the flag for a some Mary: Crunchy Frogs, LBC’s, Putins, Flutters, and 100’s, all x20 IC. COT and Shooter prayed us out. Thank you men for getting out of the sack this morning and helping me become a stronger and better man.
We arrived at Grandma’s House to find we were barricaded out! As if that would stop the PAX…T-Claps to Steve for moving them so we could park.
Warm o Rama: Good Mornings, Toe touches, Imp Walkers, Hill Billies, SS Hops.
First up, a mosey on over to the tunnel. Along the way some friendly chatter about the past weekend…Topics that stood out were Shooter with a hunting kill(T-Claps), and Cowbell’s less than stellar sales experience when he went boat shopping.
The Thang:
Arrived at the tunnel. Bear Crawls 25 paces, then jog then sprint to the other side of the tunnel and repeat back. Rinse and repeat for 2 rounds.
Next PAX moseyed over to the bus stop. PAX did 10 each: Decline Merkins, Step-Ups, Incline Merkins, Box Jumps, and Freak Nasties. Rinse and repeat for 2 rounds. YHC almost splashing merlot after those box jumps!
Next we moseyed over to the Market area where PAX completed Dora 1,2,3. Teams of 2. Pax 1 Ran at 80% to end of Market Hall, and sprinted back, while Pax 2 were doing cumulative reps of 100 Merkins, 200 LBC’s, and 300 Squats. Pax 1 and 2 flap-jacked runs/exercises until cumulative exercises were completed.
The Killer B’s ended with a bang Saturday morning, with Grundy taking the Northshore lead by mere seconds. Sure, we could debate the fairness of doing it on the lakefront’s luxurious grass vs. the Marsh’s unyielding concrete, or the legality of the proctor himself taking home first place, but when it comes down to it, we must (begrudgingly) give Grundy due credit (and hate!) – it was a pretty inspirational effort. In fact, Tank was nipping at his heels the entire time and it seems the two were feeding off one another’s energy to push each other to their record times.
So t-claps to those two men for giving it their all and, while we’re t-clapping, we might as well toss another one out to Zoo and his miraculous self-healing leg, for taking the opportunity to hit the challenge for a second time and improve upon his score. Alright, the rundown:
Usual pre-thang 2 miler featured guest appearances by both Bushwacker and Garfield, and then we went right into the warmorama: Arm circles (forward/back), IW’s, copperhead squats, toe touches, hillbillies, SSHs, mountain climbers, all x20 IC.
Thang: Half the PAX followed Grundy to complete the IP challenge, while those that had already had their fill followed YHC.
First stop on our tour of the lakefront was an old favorite that can be difficult to use with a large pax: Rips. Instead of the traditional stair run/Rocky Balboa’s, though, we simply grabbed a handrail and did one legged negative calf raises, at a slow cadence: x15 per leg.
Then, eastward towards the baseball field, stopping for a quick COP of high knees and a burpee wave. About 6 rounds, and then onward…
To the pull-up bars behind the baseball field. Circled up on our six for flutter kicks, while 2 men got up to do 5x pull-ups. Around the circle again and again and again, until each man had 25 pull-ups. We maxed out on flutters and at some point switched to Freddie Mercs, which did not really help all that much.
Next up, flip over to a plank for plank jacks, while 2 men got up to do hanging knee tucks x10. Round the circle a few times, switching about halfway to shoulder taps, until each man had 30 tucks.
Mosey back towards the boat launch to split into two teams for a 100-yard sprint relay race. Losing team gets hit with 25 burpees, winning team gets 25 merkins. (YHC has learned that, in the realm of F3, the winning team never takes the easy way and sits out on the work so why even bother pretending there’s a reward.) With Bean pulling double duty for Team 2 to secure the win, they performed their merkins and then jumped in to help Team 1 finish up with their burpees. And then everyone took a page from Pik, who’s been keeping Old Mandeville clean for the better part of two years, and did a quick sweep of beer bottles before heading over to the playground for a quick partner routine.
P1 holds people’s chair while doing air presses, P2 bear crawls up the small hill to the swingset pad for 10 merkins and then bunny hops back down to flapjack with P1.
Just enough time to Indian Run back to Rips, get in one more set of calf raises (x10 each leg this time), and back at the flag for a round of boxcutters, x20 IC. The rest of the gang joined us at this point, looking thoroughly destroyed, and we circled up for COT. Zoo encouraged all to share the gift of F3 and bring out some new brothers, and Maverick took us out with a prayer, encouraging us to be men of strength. Then off to coffeeteria. Thank you men for the opportunity not only to lead, but to get stronger and sharper alongside you.
Everyone can finish the saying, “When life gives you lemons…”. But not everyone knows how to complete the saying, “When life gives you cinderblocks….” So let YHC help everyone out; “when life gives you cinderblocks, you use them in your workouts!!!”
The PAX learned the truth of this saying this morning in a more than intellectual level. And even though this workout was very difficult, I would argue that all the blame should be placed on TurboTax. For he’s the one who lent me his cinderblocks. I take no responsibility, Turbo should have known better.
So after a disclaimer was given, the fun began.
Warmup
Side straddle hop In cadence to 52! I wanted the pax to remember Dredd’s saying when he came down for our GrowRuck, “Be prepared for the expected, but be ready for the unexpected.” Doing side straddle hops to 52 definitely drove that idea home.
Then we did:
Windmills in cadence, and a shoulder series warmup in cadence.
The Thang
Moseyed to the opening before the bridge where the Grundymobile was parked with the aforementioned cinderblocks. But first we did something called the welsh dragons.
Welsh Dragons: Remain in plank position the whole time. Bear crawl forward 4 steps, do 1 merkin, 1 plank jack, and tap the BACK of each shoulder 1 time. Repeat adding 1 rep to each exercise each time – bear crawl forward 4 steps, do 2 merkins, 2 plank jacks, 2 sets of back of shoulder taps… etc. We went until We reached 10 reps each and covered 30-50 feet.
Then the Q realized he had left the keys to his car back at the flag… So the Pax got a 5 minute plank/rest while the Q ran back to grab them. I’m sure everyone held a plank the whole time…
Upon returning, the grundymobile was opened and the cinderblocks were distributed. It was time for the main event. Everyone partnered up (some teams had 3 people), and we did a Dora 1, 2, 3 with cinderblocks. Round 1 (100 step ups on to the sea wall with the cinderblock) partner 2 ran to the walkway and did 3 burpees and returned to take over the rep count. Round 2 (200 kettlebell swings), and round 3 (300 overhead presses).
There was much pain involved but kudos to all of the pax for pushing through! We returned the cinderblocks and moseyed/walked back to the flag for some Mary.
Like the beginning of the workout, be ready for anything. Like Little Manny crunches in cadence to 53!!!
Circled it up and Manny closed us out wonderfully.
19 pax showed up to the Lakefront on Saturday Morning, for a beatdown known as the Green Mile.
Pre-thang; 2 miles Tanked up, Bushwacker, Barely Legal and a late arriving YHC.
The thang:
Warm up: SSH, IW, Mt climbers, Slow skwaats, and dippy birds all IC x 20
The Green Mile: 1/2 mile from shovel flag to eastern playground with 7 fire hydrants along the way. The pax were instructed to perform 5 merkins and 10 squats at each hydrant on the way down and 10 merkins and 20 squat on the way back. The pax returned to the shovel flag with 30 min to spare, just enough time for a second round. Only this time it was 10 merks/20 squats on the way down and 5 merks/10 squats on the way back.
Cooldown: SSH, IW, Mt climbers, Slow skwaats, and dippy birds all IC x 20
It seems that the pax has some superhumans among them: with Zoolander only weeks out of surgery for a lower leg fracture, leading the front of the pax…unreal. And Tanked-up despite finding a 7th gear to end the workout up front, well done guys.
