Offerings of Smoked Quads and Abs – from Yankee Joe
Offerings of Smoked Quads and Abs – from Yankee Joe

Offerings of Smoked Quads and Abs – from Yankee Joe

Date:2023-04-13
QIC:Yankee Joe
PAX:Goose, Enron, Paradox, Smooth Operator, Montana, Cardinal, Yankee Joe

Warm-up

Side straddle hops
Windmills
Arm circles forward
Arm circles backward
Cherry pickers
Self love
Blast-offs
Mountain climbers
Mosey lap

The Thang – 4 rounds for time (more if time permits)

50 lbcs
40 jump squats
30 big boy sit ups
20 Bonnie Blairs 2:1
10 v-ups
Lap around civic center (approx. 1/4 mile)

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Exodus 14:5-7
– 7 He took – six hundred – of the best chariots, along with all the other chariots of Egypt, with officers over all of them.

2 Chronicles 29:31-33
– 33 And the consecrated things were – six hundred – oxen and three thousand sheep.

Judges 3:31
– 31 And after him was Shamgar the son of Anath, which slew of the Philistines – six hundred – men with an ox goad: and he also delivered Israel.

F3Thibodaux 4:13
– And….in the land of Thibodaux, near the banks of Bayou Lafourche (Bayou Side), SEVEN lost PAX of F3 Thibodaux set out to complete four rounds of 150 reps, numbering 600 reps in total in a beatdown offering at the Lion’s Den. However, some of the PAX brought more offerings by doing five or more rounds. Paradox and Enron, during a founders’ meeting (Ya hateth to see such elitism), did runneth two miles before the beatdown.

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Paradox, who came from Homeria, who was the husband of a real doctor, and who sends forth gas into the face of his brethren, he did cruncheth 200 lbcs. In total, he did completith 750 reps of all offerings and a 1.25-mile run.

And Goose, son of Emu, son of Ostrich, who was fruitful and exponentially multiplied across the earth, he did jumpeth 160 times in the air. In total, he did completith 880 reps of all offerings and a 1.25-mile run.

And Montana, son of Cotter, who was lost in the wilderness of pro shops, but had foundeth his way home, he did sitteth up 120 times. In total, he did completith 750 reps of all offerings and a 1.25-mile run.

And Smooth Operator, from the mighty tribe of fence builders, and who did rucketh miles with wrenches on his back, did completith 750 reps of all offerings and a 1.25-mile run.

And Enron, son of Bernie, and who advised others on how to worshipith silver shekels, and was a chief violator of form, repented and did lungeth with a chaste woman named Bonnie Blair 80 times the hard way. In total, he did completith 880 reps of all offerings and a 1.25-mile run.

And Cardinal, who had favor with the Lord, but continued to farteth in his sack, and expert on leavened breakfast sandwiches from petroleum markets, he did sitteth up in a V forty times. In total, he did completith 750 reps of all offerings and a 1.25-mile run.

For all of these offerings, the tribe of F3 Thibodaux did bring to the Den. In five or more rounds, the reps numbered more than 600. Final offerings were made with 95 reps of Mary.

COT and the sleeveless finery of both the ANIMAL and EURO TRASH varieties were bestowed upon Father Cardinal and Paradox respectively. Our long lost brother, Montana, prayed us out.

And behold, Yankee Jeaux, provider of coffee from Abraham’s bosom, and oldest of the tribe, with thirty and one hundred years, this day victoriously beat down the dark (and annoying) shadows of mumblechatter and thus humbly (and with immense gratitude) served the PAX.

SYITG,

YJ