F3 New Orleans

Category: Northshore

  • Dang, I need to turn off my music for this conversation!!!! – from Jose10k

    5 HIMS took the red pill this morning to get out of bed early to push themselves to get better. A cool 76 degrees outside in the gloom was a nice “break” from the heat.
    Warm-ups- the usual
    The Thang: A slight version of Steve’s nickels and dimes. We ran from the marsh to the wall and back, stopping at each intersection to do 5 burpees, 10 leg lifts, and 10 big boy sit-ups. We back peddled, lunge walked, and just jogged from stop sign to stop sign. The conversation centered around this weekends assassination attempt of Trump. I had to turn off my music, yes you heard that right, the music was off. Who done it, why, which party, conspiracies out the wazoo. It all stunk bad, wait, that was Hammer with his usual morning gaseous releases. Finished up at the marsh for 3 minutes of pull ups. COT and Hammer prayed us out with special intentions for our country. In total: 55 burpees, 110 big boys and leg lifts. Hammer and myself added some regular and krakken burpees beforehand. Thanks for letting me lead and/or reading this backblast. SYITG

  • Kicks on Route 66 – from Hogs Breath

    YHC was hopeful that an Fng would show up this am.
    YHC arrived 10 minutes early set up to shovel flag in awaited. Alas, at 5:30 Hogs Breath stood alone. The phone dinged and a message from Royal Ralph saying he was running late. So I got a couple of laps in while I waited. At 5:37 the headlights of Royal Ralph appeared.

    A warm-up of some windmills butt kicks self-love, a few other things.
    The Thang
    We conducted a route 66 using the light poles around the circle perimeter of the 007. Big Boi Sit ups at the start, and Merkins at each light pole. We progressed from 1 merkin/big boi up to 11. We finished with the last set of sit ups at precisely 6:15 AM.

    Ended with the circle of trust with prayers for the nation and each other as HIM in the community. The Fng did text saying he had bloodwork this am, so we will remain hopeful for the future.

  • I just felt like running! – from Jose10k

    A bunch of people ran.

  • NOW that’s what I call Dem Commitments vol 2 – from Paradox

    YHC launched several cafeteria EH campaigns the day after a fruitful July 4 beatdown and had quite a few nibbles working well into the evening until most were derailed by a glorious late night firework show. The two FNGs that did show however, were both whales in their own right. One, a youthful man’s man of only 4 years earthly experience but clearly an old soul. He came on retreat to sleep and do man stuff and he was already full up on rest. The second is more of the Moby Dick FNG. Aged and scarred, he’s dodged EH harpoons for a decade and our own Goose serves as his personal Ahab with so many name producing stories that the list could produce its own beatdown. In the vast sea of emotional headlocks , AnyfisherQ that prepares to land FnGs of this magnitude must also consult the veterans of old for a retreat beatdown battle plan. Ole Ahab was ready and waiting. And that’s how YHC found himself on the HeartRidge lake dam at 5:27a with 2 FNGs (1 legacy plus the aforementioned white whale) 3 regulars (including the newly minted Egon) , a preloaded Goose DC beatdown (if Goose puts “dem” in a title you should be afraid) , a few psalms in his heart , anddddd a list of names for these potential FNGs.

    Duke !!
    Its retreat beatdown round 2
    Roll the footage!

    Warmup
    Standard issue in a deep gloom
    keeping cadence with crickets, bullfrogs and whiporwills.
    We got right to dat action boss.

    The below is an adaptation of Goose’s “Dem Commitments” beatdown circa March ‘23.

    Verbal, written and retinal scanner consent were obtained for copyright use.

    1. ) Individual Prayer
    Indian Run from dam to the big hill loop with drop off jumps squats

    This to represent finding the time during the day to get quiet and converse with God or just maybe to just do some squats.

    2.) Couples Prayer
    Lazy Dora – 10 reps with partner in static hold then flip flop till 100
    100 merkins (plank)
    100 Squats (al gore)
    100 flutter kicks (6 inches)

    3. ) Family prayer
    Ring of Fire taking turn with 3 burpees and IW while Johnny Cash warned us about love being a burning thing.

    4. ) Couples Dialogue
    “11’s “
    Starts with 10 Apollo Onos and 1 leg raise with “The Hill” in between. As Goose alluded this is where the real work in DC begins and it was the same for this beatdown.
    This is where the record scratched and we really got to see what the soon to be named HeMan calls “doing man stuff”.
    The hill was relentless but no match for the tenacity of our multiple surgical jointed FNG. His push through the hill and blasting through his comfort zone will be burned into my memory for a really long time.

    *editors note
    -Thibodaux Rouses reports that after this beatdown “YJ taking to random strangers in the grocery line about his poor ole back ” incidents are now down 78%

    Ya love to see it

    A well earned light mosey back to the dam for COT, prayers of gratitude and some very important naming.

    When I first met our youngest FNG he showed me a fisher price work bench along side a pillow and blanket then explained it was there so he could wake up and do the man stuff. These pure alpha characteristics earned him the moniker of HeMan. Father Royal Deuce approved and it was so.

    Our elder FNG, the aforementioned scarred whale, had a epic but non traditional naming ceremony as YHC knew Goose, who has a lifetime worth of stories with this gentleman, needed to have atleast a swing at a fine surname. So we unveiled the list pre set by his old friend :

    Chainsaw Massacre
    Lead Baloon
    Wiley Coyote
    And finally …
    ..Puzzle Face

    I can’t quite explain the level of snickering that took place during these listings ( fng included ) but when the smoke cleared Puzzle Face was the clear winner and we knew that at that same moment somewhere in La, Goose was doing the Robert Redford meme nod.

    Men, thanks for the effort this week during a jam packed retreat schedule. You are a reminder to YHC that no hill is to high , no barrier to strong when we allow God to supply our source of strength

    It’s a joy to lead ya

    SYITG
    Dox

  • Philosofreedom – from Paradox

    Let me make a close association list for you and see if you can guess this beatodown theme :

    Plato
    Moses
    Justin Beiber
    Aristotle
    Dean Summerwind
    Lil Jon
    Tchaikovsky

    Ringing any freedom bells??

    If your thinking they all had fire flames freestyles (f3?) during their career you ARE right buttt YHCs focus on this July 4th/Retreat beatdown was great philosophical questions that led men to a search for freedom and the above men had some real beard scratchers to consider.

    Let’s dive in

    Duke! Stop chasing Schrodingers cat and Roll the beautiful bean footage!!

    Warmup

    YHC moseyed to the lake dam of the Heart Ridge retreat center in Sunset SC in a gloom so thick and dark YHC had to scrap half the beatdown and reorganize it around a bic he bout at Bucees . No cones , no JBL , no headband, I didn’t even know what AB had for supper the night before!! …YHC felt naked and afraid. Just when the new place “scaries” had me ready to turn back I stumbled upon a wild chackbayan pax and an even wilder Rienzi scholar. As if that wasn’t enough dawg for the fight , we watched a sauntering silhouette of an FNG approach the dam and slide right into to see what the F3 fuss was about.
    Disclaimer and a traditional Goosian warmup followed.

    Thang 1

    “ The measure of a man is what he does with power “ – Plato

    Lake Indian run to the docks while we listened to some select patriotic hits and thought about great leaders who used their power for greater good.

    At the dock YHC revealed the pax would be aiding in yet another F3 bucket list item .
    Ever since the graceful tunes of Dean Summerwind flowed through YHCs ears I knew one day there would be a beatdown with a real lake …one we could park by. It just needed one more element to be special and the day before YHC had realized he was standing on a true Carolina Dry Dock…magic.

    Plato can keep his cave, ole Dean has a lake for us.

    Plank during song:
    Dean Summerwind ‘s
    “Parked Out By the Lake”

    Lake -Carolina dry docks
    Parked – shoulder tap
    Santa Fe – plank Jack

    All the pax struggled to remember which trigger was which and we mostly did all 3 while Dean did the philosophical heavy lifting.

    Mosey to gym Lot for
    THANG 2

    Here we consider what we deep questions we would battle for in our own lives while listening to the 1812 overture.

    The mini Dora was constructed with actions from the Israelite battle vs the Amaleks as our FNG had beautifully described to us the day prior. Originally, YhC planned to arm the pax with a scythe and have us mow a field by hand but was informed by retreat staff that would be “heavily frowned upon”. So just as Dr Evil had to settle for ill tempered sea bass instead of sharks with freaking lazers , YHC settled for a big hill mini Dora.

    There was also a general consensus that Moses had jacked quads and delts we could acquire through repetition.

    Dora 1-2-3
    Transport Nur up hill (** this was a capital H hill boys)
    50 no cheat merkins
    100 jump Squats
    150 air raises

    During our mowing down of the Amaleks we considered what we would turn up for which led to the next logical question by the early 2000 AD philosopher Lil Jonicus :
    “Turn Down for What”
    IW on song and Burpees on TD4W.

    On the way back we listened to an even more modern philosopher , Sir Justin Beibs , lead us in a meditative mosey asking “What do you mean? “
    Yankee Jeaux was moved to lacrimation but blamed a heavy South Carolina pollen count.

    At the Dam Finale we were directed toward ole Glory as our final philosopher Lee Greenwood tasks us to reflect upon Gods blessings to the US of A while we cycled through:

    7 Bonnie Blair’s
    4 burpees
    17 bBSU
    76 LBCs

    Till time

    The naming of Egon was a lengthy affair covering philosophy and seminary but we finally settled into an area that produces many F3 monikers: Early Adolescence. He shared that his worst nickname was as a nerdy looking bespectacled basketball player and his upperclassmen called him Egon. YHC considered that it lined up with our ghosts busting exorcism discussions this week and Egon it was.

    COT and YJ prayed us out

    Always a joy to lead fellas

    SYITG
    Dox

  • “Keep Your Hands to Yourself” – from Einstein

    That’s not a F3 directive, just a song title by Georgia Satellites.

    And we all know how Jose likes to have his music playing, and this song comes on – before you know it – Jose and Fletch are performing a duet, fingers wagging and all. I must say; it was pretty impressive. If only BBQ had shown up I’m sure he would have joined in with his air guitar.

    The A1c started off weird with Moby coming in hot (usually he’s the first one to arrive), claiming his f* dog would not get into the f* truck, that little m*f*er.

    Then Jose tells Moby that Steve will be the Q next Friday, and more f*,f*,f*…
    We’ll cut Moby some slack – he was dehydrated.

    So on with the warmup – numerous exercises interspersed with BBQ-like observation of the surrounding natural beauty – sunrise, clouds, birds, dog turd piles, etc.

    Then on to the main event – the lazy man’s que – Deck of Doom. Each pax choosing a card and calling out the exercise of their choice. I squeezed in my least favorites: crab crawl, smurf jacks, and monkey humpers. all-in-all it was a sweatfest as we went into overtime to finish the deck.

    DarkWingDuck prayed us out.

    Moby brought watermelon for us all. It hit the spot

  • 1776 workout – from Hogs Breath

    Yhc arrive at the 007. Quickly realizing that sometimes you are the soul warrior out on a beat down.

    So I began a self-improvement quest, a quick warm-up, nothing special toy solders, cherry pickers, etc.

    Then a half a mile run. Continuing with the patriotic theme. I began 17 exercises with 21 reps of each exercise (that I stole from Hookie’s beatdown).

    Merkins
    Overhead claps
    LBC
    Dips
    Moroccan Night Clubs
    Leg Scissors
    Step ups
    Squats
    American Hammers
    Mountain Climbers
    Shoulder Taps
    Plank Jacks
    High Knees
    Lunges
    SSH
    Superman with Lat pull downs
    Big Boi Sit ups

    Once I completed that another half mile run.

  • Blame Zoo – from Steve

    That was the refrain of the day after YHC called out, “Let’s get started,” and was met with a collective groan. Look, YHC isn’t even in the top 3 of the toughest Northshore Q’s (think Grundy, Hammer, hell, even Pickaxe/Chainsaw could give me a run for my money). Also, just personal philosophy here, but YHC believes we don’t need to be gutting it out every day during the week. Sometimes a simple four corners with some merkins and squats will suffice. Especially in this heat.

    However…

    There were burpees and Sister Mary’s to contend with if you happen to be a Spartaner participating in Zoo’s ISI challenge. And these gems (which otherwise would never have found their way into today’s beatdown, obviously) would unfortunately have to be passed along to the pax.

    The usual warmorama saw a little excitement when BBQ dared to poke the bear during torso twists, saying, “Now THAT is how you count torso twists. Some guys – not naming names (ahem, Jose 10k), just rush through it.”

    That was all it took – you could see the fire light in Jose’s eyes: “Oh, wait – hold up – you wanna talk cadence counting with me, BBQ?!?” The mocking began and eventually devolved into another gesture of self-love (not the warmorama kind) directed at BBQ. BBQ took his licks before YHC moved it along – nothing to see here.

    20x burpees, OYO. (“Zoo’s fault, not mine.”)

    Mosey over to the back of the Justice Center for some leg work:

    Round 1:
    20x squats
    20x lunge pulse left leg (SMK’s if needed)
    20x lunge pulse right leg (SMK’s if needed)
    20x mountain climbers (2:1)

    High knees run to the stairs, 5x calf raises up each step, mosey perimeter back to start.

    10x burpees to reset round (Again, blame Zoo.)

    Round 2:
    20x alt leg lunges
    20x monkey humpers IC (timed perfectly for a courthouse employee who made a very wide berth around us, though YHC had a hard time reading her side-eye of Moby, which seemed to be a mixture of lewd desire and also revulsion.)
    20x Apollo Ohno’s
    20x plank jacks

    High knees, calf raises, back to start. 10x burpees

    Round 3:
    20x Bobby Hurley’s
    20x star jumps
    20x smurf jacks
    20x Peter Parker’s

    And more high knees, calf raises, burpees.

    Amidst all the leg work we got to hear about Legal’s son’s pilgrimage on the Camino de Santiago, all 700+ km of it over the course of 39 days. Apparently, it was “life changing.” But then again, Legal says that to his son, everything falls into one of three categories: awesome, incredible, life-changing. Ahh the sunny optimism of youth. There was none of that to be found here at the Gipper – sunny optimism or youth – as we listened to Moby grunting and muttering f-bombs (presumably directed at YHC).

    Over to the benches for a quick set of 11’s: Freak Nasties, up to the top of the stairs, to merkins. Halfway thru we modified to Moby-style (no running), which was more brutal but helped with timing.

    Back to the flag in time for a quick one minute plank (again, Zoo’s fault), and then COT where Einstein prayed us out, with thanks and healthy wishes for the Pax’s new grandchildren (congrats BBQ and Einstein!). As always, it was a pleasure to be amongst the fine (and refined) gentlemen of Covington – seriously, you guys are a great crew. Every time I make it out there, it motivates me to come more often.

  • Hold up Steve! I’ve got you! – from Jose10k

    YHC was lucky that his wife reminded him that he had the Q for the beatdown today. I honestly forgot, and I was hoping to take a day off. The alarm was set, but no early morning shenanigans. I knew exactly how to add those awesome “extras” Zoolander has inspired us to do. Absent this morning: Shooter. Where o where is shooter? I arrived to Steve, trying to get his early burpees in before the beatdown. I quickly yelled out to him: I got you bro.
    Warm-up: SSH, torso twists, snap crackle pop( apparently a Covington warm-up), toe touches.
    The thang: In breezy conditions (tropical storm Beryl made things bearable this morning, I crack myself up sometimes) we moseyed to the marsh to utilize the playground equipment. We did a modified mini murph. 10 sets: 5-10-15 of pull-ups, burpees, SMK for the first 3, then squats to round out the remaining sets. Two of us sweated excessively, while Steve made it look effortlessly. Despite the challenging exercises with heavy sweating, Russo and myself surivived, while Steve smiled at us. Mosey back to the street to lunge walk a block. Russo and myself discussed Electrolytes and dehydration. Y’all don’t even know the struggles of hyperhidrosis, but luckily for both him and I, we have great Katie’s in our lives that know when to take care of us. Maybe we need to bring out some Brawndo ( it is afterall, what the plants crave). Once at the stop sign, we planked up for 1 minute. Moseyed back to grandmas for another round of 1 minute plank. 5 minutes remaining which normally means Mary, however, with the chatter on the run back, YHC decided to use those 5 minutes for some well needed deep stretches. COT, Russo prayed us out with intentions of those affected by the hurricane and the sudden death of his coworker. Thanks for letting me lead Gentlemen, and thanks for the read. SYITG

  • Runners….Assemble! A double 100s on double 07 – from Jose10k

    Double pairs of 100 burpees before 5 miles were ran. Most after, one runner prior to the 100.