F3 New Orleans

Tag: Bolt

  • Cool Hand Grenada – from Hand Grenada

    Conditions: Clear and 60 degrees. Humidity 63%. Wind 7 m/h from the North

    Pax: Belloq, Bolt, Fast Tax, Frac, Hand Grenada, Klinger, PVC, Yankee, Tiny Dancer, Triple, War Eagle, and YHC

    It started when I realized that HG was way over the workout requirement, but didn’t have enough Qs to get his name on the bat. Leading a workout is not a problem for HG. He’s a great leader. His problem is that he never signs up to Q on the website. He just kind of appears each week, coming from somewhere beyond the railroad tracks with a cup of coffee in hand. We assume he lives over there somewhere on the other side of the tracks. We’re not sure if he has a car or even a house for that matter. He clearly has access to coffee and some type of precise instrument for keeping time, as he always appears within 15 seconds of the start of the workout.

    So working off the premise that he doesn’t have a computer, I scheduled five Qs for him so he can get his name on the bat. After the first one, I realized that I would also have to write the backblast. Then he sent me a text (who knew he had a phone?) and said he needed to go to the dentist. I recommended one and then he asked if I could check and see if they had availability on Tuesday at 3:00. Next thing you know I’m receiving calls from people wanting to meet with him on my phone. I reach out to him and he says it might just be easier if he shares his calendar with me online. That way I can just set up the meetings. At this point, I’m starting to think he does have a computer. By the way, he also has a car. I took it in for an oil change last Friday.

    While I was at Target this past weekend, picking out Christmas gifts for his wife’s family, I started to get a little upset about the situation. But that changed at this morning’s workout. I realized that HG is not using me as his personal secretary. He is seeking my guidance in every aspect of his life. He looks to me as a mentor. Every morning he gets up and reads my Back Blasts, the same way one my start their day with the Meditations of Marcus Aurelius. Since starting F3, HG has worked to commit all of my writings to memory. This morning he reflected on the first two F3 workouts at Pontiff.

    The Thang

    • Gather at the track and mosey out near the tennis courts for our Warm-Up – This was executed flawlessly by HG.
    • Warm-up COP: SSH x 30; Low Slow Squats x 20; Merkins x 15; Imperial Walkers x 25; Mountain Climbers x 20; X-fit Push-ups x 10 – Here HG abbreviated some of the exercises. He only did 10 merkins in a two count cadence. At this point Triple Shift pointed out – the back blast had more merkins and if you read the teachings of Hawg, you can infer that they were done using a four count cadence. It please YHC to see that HG is not the only man meditating on my writings.
    • Mosey to the Rock Pile and select your rock, then mosey with your rock to the flag football field for the next COP – Good execution here, although he went to the actual football field.
    • Rock COP: Squat and Press x 12; Cusak Squats x 7, Shoulder Press x 12; Curls x 12, Hot Foot left leg x 12; Hot Foot right leg x 12 – HG went a little of script here. He dropped the Shoulder presses and the Hot foots, opting instead for chest presses and more squats. We did 12 reps of all exercises in the first round, then he added another round of 10 reps each.
    • Mosey Cusak style to the restrooms – watch out for tree roots – The execution here started out well, but I think he got lost at the end of the parking lot and ended up at the pump instead of the bathrooms. This was also out of order.
    • People’s chair with rock in lap x 20 seconds; Stay in People’s Chair and do 5 Chest Presses IC; Rinse and Repeat. Grab your rock and head for some light. – Excellently executed by HG. He actually added an additional 2 rounds to impress the ladies on the track.
    • Lunges with Rock 10 strides; 5 burpees OYO; Lunge back to starting position with rock; 5 more burpees OYO. Pile the rocks. – This was replaced with a pearl from the first Rock City workout. We spider-man crawled 10 yards, did 5 burpees, repeated and sprinted to the other side. We then did the same thing using lunges.
    • Boss Keane’s Rock Pile: Spread out in arms length next to Boss Keane’s rock pile. In cadence, first man picks up a rock and sets it down between him and the next man. Continue until rock pile has been moved to the end of the line. HG brought back one of Amnesty’s favorites here. Only a few pax have done this before and it showed. HG chose not to count it in cadence. The pax were just grabbing rocks and tossing them to the side. PVC and Bolt showed no regard for the shoeless pax among us. Once the rock pile was moved, HG did make us move it back. Although I was disappointed he didn’t count it in cadence, I was impressed by his embodiment of Boss Paul
    • Come to find out, that is not where Boss Keane wanted his rock pile…move it back – We did this, but not impressively.
    • I thought I said to move Boss Keane’s rock pile…Yes Boss – Skipped it.
    • What’s Boss Keane’s rock pile doing over here – I don’t know boss – Move it back. – Skipped it.
    • Mosey to the hill and drop off your rock. Extended Mosey to baseball field for 6 MOM. – We kept our rocks and did mary by the pump.
    • 6 MOM: Crunchy Frog x 15; LBC x 30; Russian Twist x 20; Freddy Mercury x 30; Ran out of time before he got to the Freddy Mercuries. Other wise it was perfect. Given the political climate of 2022 compared to 2014, HG led us in American Hammers as opposed to Russian Twist.
    • Mosey back to the hill (running over it this time) Grab a rock and take it back to the rock pile. Mosey (horse to barn style) back to the shovel flag for COT – Dropped the rocks off at the pile and sprinted to the flag.

    HG lead us in prayer to close it out. He did a great job today. I’m proud to be this young man’s mentor.

  • Like Cakes, Pillsbury Rises—Finally! – from Bolt

    YHC received a Sunday evening text from Pillsbury asking where I was posting in the gloom and a quick review of the Scrum showed a Q-less AO so I quickly signed up and let Pillsbury know. After texting a few PAX I knew were asking about our wayward brother of the gloom, I figured it would b a 2+ PAX beatdown and off to sleep I went. Pulling in just behind the man on the verge of being a Kotter, he admitted it’s been since before Labor Day that he posted—a stretch of time far easier to extend than to break, T-claps Pillsbury! Boo Boo came in hot and we commenced (predictably) with warmorama: RDE and a mosey to the squishy pad for the Thang:
    3 stations, rotating clockwise after 1 min. AMRAP/15 secs of rest for two circuits.
    Round 1:
    Step ups, tricep dips, Australian rows>rinse/repeat
    Round 2:
    Squats, incline merkins, LBCs>rinse/repeat
    Round 3:
    Reverse lunges, decline merkins, American Hammers>rinse/repeat
    Round 4:
    Side lunges, merkins, big Boi sit ups >rinse/repeat

    Based upon the grunting, huffing, gasping, and lack of mumblechatter I’d say each PAX pushed themselves to their personal limit which was YHC’s goal for an almost-Kotter’s return to the gloom, which was punctuated by an acknowledgement from Pillsbury that F3 NOLA really means it when we say, “No man left behind!” as he received several PAX’s outreach over the weeks of his absence—way to lead KennaBrah, PVC, etc.

  • Burpeepalooza – from Bolt

    An empty Q sheet required the site AO to take charge and ensure the PAX got their promised burpee count on this brisk Friday. Disclaimer given and mosey to the field for warmorama, Rapper’s Delight edition. The concept would be simple: musically driven burpees with various exercises between the chorus followed by various modes of movement. The execution, however, was severely hindered by War Eagle incessantly working only his jaw and Bogey—well, being Bogey. Despite the PAX’s best efforts, my iWatch said the beatdown was satisfactory and SOME of us completed 137 burpees.
    Mosey to flag and circle up for “cool down” which according to SOME people was NOT: Al Gore long enough for Bogey to bitch about it followed by one minute of dying cockroaches and finish with a plank for less than a minute because War Eagle “claimed” time was up.
    Proud to b part of this group and appreciate you men!
    “Roxanne” by The Police–“Roxanne”/Imperial Walkers
    Bear crawl 10 yards
    “Red Solo Cup” by Toby Keith–“Cup” and “Up”/Alternating Reverse Lunge
    Crab walk 10 yards
    “This is Who I Am” by Third Day–“This is who I am”/Bunny Hops
    “Black Betty” by Ram Jam–every “Black Betty”/Toy Soldiers
    Bunny hop yards
    “Peaches” by The Presidents of the USA–“Peaches”/Squats
    Broad jump 10 yards
    Flower” by Moby–burpees on every “Down”/SSH

  • Oh Frac, Where Art Thou? – from Bolt

    YHC rolled up prepared for bootcamp or ruck depending on the pax and found only Kenna Brah milling about for his planned ruck—sans ruck. Bootcamp it is: kick off Bolt 3M promise with the usual warmup followed by a quick mosey to the “squish” pad for the Thang. Even though Frac was a no show YHC forged ahead with a mini burpeepalooza:

    “Flower” by Moby–burpees on every “Down”/SSH

    Balance beam forward and backward
    Dips x 20
    RLSU x 25
    Dry Docks x 20
    LLSU x 25
    Dry Docks x 20

    “Black Betty” by Ram Jam–every “Black Betty”/Toy Soldiers

    Australian pull ups under/overhand grips x 15 each

    “Tubthumping” by Chumbawumba–every “I get knocked down…”/Seal Claps

    Mary (AMRAP 1 min each, in cadence):
    LBC
    Oblique crunches
    Dying cockroaches
    American Hammers

  • Musta been the Right Time but the Wrong Name – from Bolt

    YHC grabbed the Q late with the expectation that the FNG I’ve been EH’ing would show after the previous night’s text invite. The gloom came and as there was no text reply, I remained hopeful any pair of headlights might b him…alas Boo Boo, Frac, and Rev joined me as Mahatma was coming in hot at the start of warmup, all sans FNG. Warmarama Rapper’s Delight edition with a call for overheads while actually performing chinooks, causing confusion among the PAX until Frac called it out.

    The Thang: Variations of mosey all the way to the workout equipment, stopping at each bench for burpees. Along the way YHC also called out for “man makers” causing more confusion because it was 8-count bodybuilders which caused Rev to pause and see what the movement would actually be so at nine minutes in you can see how swimmingly it was going. Arriving at the equipment each PAX grabbed a station including the pull up bar and performed AMRAP with a target of 25 minimum over the course of one minute, switching stations and resting 15 seconds. After a full circuit we moseyed back with just a couple stops along the way to perform more man makers, mary, 6 count squat holds (squat/hold/tap toes/heels/rise) and a final stop at the workout pad near the flag for dips and more mary. COT. Grateful for each of you!

  • GNARLY NUTRIA #7 – from Reluctant Yankee

    Well …I found the results from the Gnarly Nutria and I thought it would be a shame to not have the results written for posterity. Sandbar was the q BUT Abandoned ship so he could do something with the family out of town. As always that was the RIGHT decision. I arrived from a 520 mile hike across Spain on Monday 7/18. I posted for my first F3 beatdown post hike in the AM. That evening I decided not to run bc I wasn’t ready yet. I watched on the sidelines with injured Wax on, Wax off. Wax on was kind enough to pick up the beer from Brown Bag which he was kind enough to DONATE! There were at least 4 beers per runner. 2022 WAS the worst attended Gnarly – I mostly blame myself since I was out of town. Then I blame everyone else except Brown Bag because he posted and DONATED the beer. You the man Brown Bag!

    Ok results:
    #1 Beiber- upt , #2 Gump – upt, #3 Couch – upt, #4 El Guapo – Wrd, #5 Tinkles – upt
    #6 So GO – wrd, #7 Rev SOX – wrld, #8 RUDY – wrd, #9 Baldy – World, #10, Pipeline – upt,
    #11 King Kong – – upt, #12 Katy – upt, #13 harry carry – upt, #14 Frac sac – world , #15 Almonaster – upt, #16 Sub prime upt #17 moby dick world

    No runners palced 18-20

    Chiquita, Brynn Johnson, (GUMPS M) #2 (Tinkles M) and Brown Bag both ran 2 laps
    Ruckers were BIG WILLIE +3, Strings, Triple Shift, Satchmo, Gabby, Tube Steak PVC, BOLT, War Eagle.

    Congrats to UPTOWN for another victory on your home turf.
    Forgot all of the mumblechatter since I am writing this in October and the event occured in July

    Peace-RY