F3 New Orleans

Tag: Cardinal

  • 2 Year Manniversary of F3 Thibodaux! A Brief History of F3 Down the Bayou – from Goose

    The highly anticipated day had arrived. Costumes were donned, and the gloom was dark. So dark, in fact, that Paradox, fully decked out in unlicensed Jack Sparrow gear, did a full Helen Keller on an FNG, hands all over his face saying, “Goose, Goose is that you?” just because the guy showed up in a grayish Tundra. The FNG was accomodating, and YHC did show up a little later, overjoyed at the PAX’s costumes and their total disregard for how they’d fare in the rain, the dirt, and through at least 100 burpees. From giant furry vikings to skin tight Moana characters to full size pickles, these dudes were all in. Thankfully, God delayed the rain for a few hours, so the weather was perfect and the morale was super high (made even higher by Head Cheese’s dramatic entrance). We had record numbers at The Peltch, coffeeteria planned for the first time, and 2 years of an unprecedented journey to tromp through–it was an awesome morning!
    Warmup of the usual with last minute costumers trickling in (Picadilly’s pickle balls were amazing, even if they fell off during the first set of mountain climbers). PAX grabbed coupons out the truck, and we were off toward the lower field for the First Era of F3 Thibodaux: Goose-olation

    Era 1: The Genesis of the Beginning, The Dawn of the Origins, Part I
    Goose arrives in Thibodaux from Mandeville with nothing but a list of backblasts from NOLA, Northshore and BR. He couldn’t stop the progress, though, and had high hopes for what might develop. So, the backyard would have to do. For months, what drove him on was knowing that F3 brethren somewhere had already sweat through whatever beatdown he had pulled from the backblast list, so he wasn’t completely “alone”.
    The routine for this era would be The Big Bang:
    All PAX start in a bunch huddled around the coupons. First round, grab a coupon, do 5 OH presses, then mosey 10 steps out from the pack and do 10 burpees (facing outward for max isolation) before returning and plank up for the six.
    2nd round: 5 OH presses, mosey 15 steps out, 15 merkins
    3: 5 OH presses, 20 steps, 20 burpees
    4: 5 OH presses, 25 steps, 25 Hammers
    It’s a reality that pushing alone is way harder than pushing together, and the contrast was felt. Glad to move onto Era 2.

    Era 2: Random pop-ups
    The first to follow the dancing idiot into the madness was technically Cardinal, though he wasn’t seen again for many months (quoted as saying something like “that’s for the birds”). So, Wet Tap gets T-claps for coming out unaccompanied to throw himself into whatever Goose and his Goslings were doing out at Peltier. Then came Gordon, G.I. Joe, and Percolator, though because of work schedules and getting over the initial hump, attendance was random.
    This seemed a great opportunity for the randomness of the Deck of Death, so Wet Tap started us out under the Thunderdome with a random pull followed by three more (Irkins, Bulgarian split squats, and whatever those other two were…). Then, for the sake of time, we moseyed to the baseball field.

    Era 3: Enron
    Goose’s isolation, especially on weekdays, changed unexpectedly with the arrival of Enron. With the dogged determination and willingness to endure pain that only a younger brother could posses, Enron showed up to every beatdown he could and pushed himself hard to keep up with Goose. This quickly led to intense progress and his VQ (alone at The Peltch–for character building). His determination has never slowed, and his Q’s are well thought out (and typed out), usually including some sort of element of chance (for Cardinal).
    PAX partnered up for a grinder as a reminder of all those mornings at The Stage with just Goose and Enron. Split duty on 100 burpees at home plate while partner 2 runs the bases.

    Era 3: Return of the EH (and Crab Walk) King
    Cardinal eventually did return, and not only did he stick with it, even on weekdays, but the PAX quickly began to swell with his FNG’s, and his move to Chackbay has only widened his EH territory.
    The exercise would be Bear Crawl Tag Infection–Cardinal started at the pitchers mound and bear crawled around tagging the PAX, who were crab walking to get away within the confines of the infield. Once someone was tagged, he became part of the cult, switched to bear crawl, and began tagging the rest of the sad clowns (crabwalkers). It took no time for all to be tagged, ironically with Head Cheese being the last…So, we moseyed to The Chimney for Era 4.

    Era 4: Paradox
    As soon as Paradox even heard there was an F3, he had purchased tiny Mudgear shorts and within minutes had memorized the entire Exicon and the last 100 backblasts from the top 5 regions. And, his foot has never let off the gas. This next routine would be a nod to his name (you know, cuz he’s a doctor, and his wife is also a doctor, so they’re a pair-o-docs…), and to a couple of his Peltch Q’s.
    Partner up, both partners do 10 burpees, then one partner body drags another about 20 yards to the chimney, both do 10 more burpees, then flapjack and body drag the other back to start. This is where Paradox’s mustache exploded (the remainder of his facial hair) which made him Orlando Bloom’s character instead (props to Lil’ Cuz for that observation).

    Era 5: Lumen Christi
    Earlier this year Cardinal was able to talk a few of the young men who worked at the chancery with he and YHC to come out to a new beatdown on Tuesday mornings at Lumen Christ, the retreat center behind the chancery (with showers and everything). It was a glorious AO with a great crew, and some of the Thibodaux PAX would show up every now and then, too. Unfortunately, it wouldn’t last as the retreat schedule filled up (I guess it seemed a little less retreat-ish to have a bunch of sweaty dudes bear crawling down the hill to the Top Gun soundtrack or Indian running past the windows with cinder blocks over their heads).
    In a nod to Tighty Whitey (may he never be forgotten) and Enron’s near death experience at Lumen, we did Welsh Dragons up to 7, followed by a mosey to the playground.

    Era 6: SV 500
    The St. Vincent was arguably the best F3 fundraiser in the country (and maybe the world) for 2022 (and maybe for all time, past and future). Thanks to Paradox’s leadership and the buy-in of the rest of the PAX, it went off beautifully, tons of people attended, we had an incredible time, and we surpassed our goal of $10K for prescription meds for people in need. In honor if this incredibly blessed experience, we partnered up again for a quick Dora in honor of the partner race that raised the bar for many years to come.
    Partners would split duty on 100 flutter kicks on the playground side of the “mountain” while partner 2 ran over the “mountain” and did 10 Big Boy Situps on the other side and ran back. Then, moseyed back to the Thunderdome for the final eras.

    Era 7: Jerftember
    Yankee Joe’s arrival came and went like many who get a first taste of F3, puke, and don’t come back. But he did come back after about a month, puked some more, and became hopelessly addicted to growth. The Jerf was born out of this deep desire for more and more growth, and it opened a new era of Thibodaux PAX ownership, comradery, accountability, and WHOOP pressure. It also gave birth to BAPS, who still hasn’t fully proven himself.
    In honor of the Jerf, PAX lined up on the baseline under the Thunderdome for one full round of Jerfing. The sound of 17 PAX dropping cinder blocks onto concrete under an echoing pavillion is truly a glorious thing.

    Era 8: IPC and Burptober
    With one minute remaining, YHC led the PAX in 3 Kraken Burpees in honor of the unprecedented Week 5 of IPC and to finish out the 100 burpees needed for the second to last day of Burptober.

    Moseyed back to the flag, all still in full costume, for an incredible COT and our first ever coffeeteria. Fence Post was named (Welcome!!), Cue Ball was welcomed (originally from F3 Huntsville), and tables, donuts, too much coffee, and raw eggs were laid out under the trees. Conversation was awesome as the PAX rejoiced in the incredible blessing that F3 has been and the unrepeatable gift that each man has been to the whole group. The high from that morning has lasted for multiple days now, and it spilled over into record breaking numbers at The Stage this morning (including Fence Post!). Looking forward to the many years to come!

    See You In The Gloom,
    Goose

  • Hurry Up Wit Them Burpees! – from Goose

    It was YHC’s third Stage beatdown Q this week, and I expected to be out of ideas for how to get 100 burpees into a 45 workout, but I was still excited for the challenge, and the juices were flowing! So, I took up my position on the floor in the bathroom closet so as not to wake the wife and baby and commenced to scribbling.

    After a warmup that was lengthened by Montana’s FNG creeping up tentatively to a group of tall men huddled together doing high knees in the dark. The soon to be named Fire in the Hole made the brave decision we all know well to get out of his car and step into the unknown. So, we added a bumper mosey before firing up ol’ Anker with the F3 Grinder 2 playlist for the following grinder:

    Thang: Burpee Timer
    PAX circled up and one man was the timer–while he cranked out 25 burpees, the rest of the PAX did a named exercise until he was done. The idea was that each PAX in turn would ultimately have completed four sets of burpees to total 100. But, YHC wasn’t planning on six PAX, which was a good problem to have. The need to double up toward the end was inevitable, but it worked out fine; just meant less of a break between burpees.
    Exercises for the non-burpeeing PAX were as follows:
    Plank
    LBC’s
    Side shuffle around the concrete pad
    Bear crawl around…
    Squats
    Air presses
    Side Straddle Hops
    Plank Jacks
    Side Lunges
    6 inch hold (legs)
    High knee skip in place
    Big Boy Situps
    T-merkins
    Carioca around…
    X-Factors
    Heel Raises
    Most of these ended up lasting for about two minutes apiece, some longer, some shorter. The combination of Coolio and Irish drinking songs made the time fly and the burpees easy.
    Not really. I’m not sure I ever want to hear “The Night that Patty Murphy Died” again.

    T-claps to Fire in the Hole for completing his first beatdown, including keeping pace with 100 burpees! I had a feeling that firefighter in him would push him through. Here’s hoping he comes back!

    COT and Enron prayed us out.

    2 Year Manniversary of F3 in Thibodaux will be at this Saturday’s beatdown at Peltier Park! 6:30am, and wear a costume (that you don’t mind getting wet). Rain is likely, and I can’t think of anything more F3 than a costumed beatdown in the rain. Coffeeteria will follow, likely under the Pavillion. Let us know on the GroupMe if you can bring anything!

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • Support Group for JBL – from Goose

    Still on a high from the convergence (and the van ride to and from the convergence) and the promise of a Kilo appearance, a record 8 PAX converged upon The Stage, mostly to console Paradox after what should not be mentioned (again) on record. But, I’ll go ahead and mention it anyway–JBL, in his opportunity of a lifetime performance, came up short. Really short. Thankfully, Coyote was there to make it all worth it and save the Thibodaux PAX’s convergence Q from total disaster, but JBL will never be the same.

    Warmup: the usual plus the pre-burpee mountain climbers, and the feel of 8 men in the circle at The Stage was awesome. YHC allowed some gloves to fall from his pocket instigating questions since there were no coupons in sight. (There was already some suspicion of a potential setup with some deep, devious plan devised by Anker to slowly and methodically break down the competition from within.)

    After the warmup, YHC suggested that all should retrieve gloves from their vehicles, and all were able to do so…blue and white ones…all of them. Burpees in the street was on the menu, and YHC knew that this particular street is a cheese shredder for human flesh.

    The Thang (Part 1) was a mosey around Rich Man’s Loop with 5 burpees EMOM for 10 minutes. Minutes seemed shorter than normal, but all kept up well enough, and 50 burpees were in the books.

    Part 2 consisted of three songs from the F3 Burpeepalooza list created a couple of years back for Make America Burpee Again, and these songs were chosen because they hadn’t yet been used much this year, and because their total burpees added up to 50.

    First: Red Solo Cup–overhead claps for the duration and burpees for every “Cup” and “Up” (total of 25)
    Second: This is Who I Am by Third Day–LBC’s for the duration and burpees for every “This is who I Am” (total of 12)
    Third: Get Back Up Again by Toby Keith (dedicated to JBL)–high knee skips (or “Running Man” skips if you’re Lil’ Cuz, or just trip over yourself if you’re Enron or Montana) for the duration, and burpees for every “Get Back Up Again” (total of 13)

    Part 3 was a 7 of Diamonds/4 Corners–add an exercise at every corner
    1. 7 merkins
    2. 7 merkins, 14 Bonnie Blairs
    3. The above plus 21 Big Boy Situps
    4. The above plus 28 Monkey Humpers
    The legs were done by the second corner, but all powered through with minimal grumbling.

    Part 4: Speed and Agility
    1. Sprint to the sidewalk and Nur back
    2. Carioca there and back (Also known as “Staring into One Another’s Eyes While Dancing”)
    3. Side shuffle there and back
    4. Bunny Hop there and mosey back (YHC was impressed by the effort on this one)

    Mary (IC): Freddy Merc x 31, Leg Raises x 15

    COT and Paradox prayed us out. Thanks for making it 8 STRONG this morning! It was awesome to have Kilo back and to offer prayers and camaraderie for his first day at the new job! And only six more days of burpees!
    SYITG,
    Goose

  • Burpee: A History – from Paradox

    Several days ago one of YHC’s 2.0’s observed what has become a nightly routine: walking the dog in the backyard while attempting 100 burpees. This is for our monthly PAX challenge (ISI: Make America Burpee Again). As 2.0s are known to do, YHCs daughter asked a deeply philosophical question “sooo why’s it called a burpee?”. YHC had no clue and was pushed into a deep rabbit hole dive of how our beloved exercise came to be. 6 wikipedia pages, 4 clickbait articles and 1 ad for headbands later YHC had unearthed an incredible tale. YHC knew the only path forward was to convert this into a beatdown to share with my Thibodaux brethren. If our Thibodaux Pax truly wanted to complete the Burptober challenge, then we needed to know the burpee inside and out. Know its function, feel its form and at the end of a 45 minute beatdown , be able to select burpee variations like fine wines. The lesson plan was set, the classroom prepped, and 5 PAX cut through the gloom of the Stage for a standard issue Paradoxian History lesson.

    Warmup: The usual suspects SSH, Windmill, IW, AC, Self-Love with a little added mumble chatter from Goose about pre cadence variations but this was countered with a bumper mosey.

    Thang 1
    Royal Huddleston Burpee was born in 1897 in NY. He joined the Navy during the beginning of World War 1 and while aboard a navy ship for several months developed a knack for creating challenging body weight exercises one could accomplish in small spaces.

    JBL played Drunken Sailor while PAX held plank with merkins on “Wayyyy Up” and “Drunken Sailor”. Of note: several Pax applauded JBLs ability to transport them mentally and emotionally into the scene of the music. This did not go over well with other bluetooth speaker providers but we wont name names. T-claps to JBL for rising above the chatter, I know you see those haters on every block, put on the Hater shades and don’t look back.

    After his service in the war, Mr. Burpee continued to pursue his passion in exercise physiology, receiving a PHD from Columbia University in 1939. His doctoral thesis focused on several bodyweight exercises that could serve as health indicators for the average person. One of these was the Front Leaning Rest. What we know today as the burpee. Of note his original move did not include a push up or squat.

    Pax completed 4 original burpees (no merkin or jump yet) with a sprint to the sidewalk followed by 19 bobby hurleys , 39 SSH and 4 more original burpees.

    By 1942 the US military needed a fitness test to prepare young men heading into World War II. By this time the burpee had increased in popularity in local gyms and was the perfect fit for this exam. It was used as a marker of physical readiness if a solder could complete between 15-30 original burpees (no pushup or jump) in a 20 second period.
    To honor this benchmark Pax completed amrap burpees in 20 seconds followed by Broad jump burpees , 20 WW2 sit-ups, and a another 20 second amrap burpee.

    After WW2 the burpee cemented itself as the king of bodyweight workouts and the rest is history. The burpee variations flowed freely for decades and although its unknown when the merkin and jump were added, the original “front leaning rest” plus a merkin at the bottom and a jump at the top are the accepted regular burpee we know and love to hate.

    Thang 2

    Next exercise: Deconstructed burpees in 7 of diamonds format
    Pax completed 7 squats, 14 thrusters, 21 merkins and 28 jump squats. This looked slightly easier on paper and YHC could feel the silent hatred as we reached 28 jump squats. Your quads will thank me later.

    A few 10 counts later we commemorated the “millions of burpee variations”. YHC introduced some of the PAX to a little Burpeepalooza jam called Peaches by Presidents of the United States of America. Millions of Peaches…peaches for free. Completed 27 burpees.

    Took the pax on a rich man’s loop mosey hike that involved a different 5 rep set of burpee variations on each light pole. We completed:
    5 double merkin burpees- two merkins at the bottom of the burpee
    5 double thrust burpees- two thrusts at the bottom
    5 Bearpees- burpee and start 4 count bear crawl then finish jump
    5 Bropees – double high five with a partner at the top of a burpee. Lets pause here for a breakdown…

    **YHC took the solo role and watched the synchronized beauty that was Yankee and Cardinal perform a perfect tempo 5 bropees. This could be due to Cardinals priestly ability to meet anyone on there level but also theres an investigation into Yankee Joes weekend breakdancing career. Reports to follow.

    In sharp contrast, Enron and Goose appear to be nearing couples counseling as they could not distinguish who was leading the tango. Was Goose still flustered from the JBL compliments?? Very likely. But YHC is putting this one in the “Enron has a scary lack of rhythm” file…. ….it’s a large file.

    5 star jump burpees- burpee with star jump at the end

    A nice mosey back to the flag for the finisher.

    Only one way to finish this one.
    You knew it was coming.
    At the end of the day, the burpee is about getting knocked down and getting back up again.
    We completed 16 burpees during Chumbawumba’s “ Tubthumping” and YHC called it at 6:15.

    COT and Cardinal Prayed us out.

    Great effort today men, we are well on our way to being fine connoisseurs of all things burpee.

    Thank you to Dr. Royal H. Burpee for your service to our country and your great gift of the Burpee.

    SYITG
    Paradox

  • IPC Week 3: The Backblast – from Goose

    YHC and Coyote rolled up to The Peltch a little early to measure out how far down the road we’d be running this morning. The atmosphere was thick and muggy, which only confirmed that it would be a painful one. But, having surrendered to it, and knowing we were not going to be grinding through it alone, we found ourselves rejoicing at every car that pulled into the parking lot, as if each additional PAX would somehow divide the pain among more of us.
    6:30 came quick, so we were off to the warmups: the usual with some additional mountain climbers to prep for the many burpees and man-makers to come.

    Moseyed with the blocks down the road to the area in the grass off the road exactly 200 meters from the gate. The playlist was a thing of beauty, if I may say so, and the timing of the songs couldn’t have been better (like “Livin’ on a Prayer” coming up at exactly “halfway there”), and Anker performed well. The inspiration of the music added to the inspiration of doing this for a fellow PAX who had lost his wife (accentuated by the heart-wrenching video shared on our GroupMe of the surprise candlelight vigil that his region arranged for him). The exercises were as follows:
    5 Rounds of:
    -20 overhead coupon presses
    -20 burpees
    -20 coupon curls
    -20 V-ups
    -20 goblet squats
    -13 man-makers (burpee with coupon)
    -400 meter run (to the gate and back) with an extra 400m run at the end of the 5th round
    This added up to 571 total reps, the number of days his wife fought pancreatic cancer before passing away.

    YHC didn’t expect that any of us would finish, especially with the longer warmup and the time it took to mosey with the blocks to the beatdown area. So, as we could no longer delay the inevitable, Michael Jackson kicked us off with “Bad”, and like pushing off from the top of a scary waterslide, there was no turning back. The experience of 20 burpees and 13 man-makers was as life-sucking as expected, and YHC found that the decision to just keep going without measuring what was left in the tank had to be made many, many times.

    YHC was buoyed by Montana, Cardinal, and Lil Cuz’s never quit attitude as well as the long-term tenacity of Enron and Yankee Joe. Coyote seemed to be enjoying himself, as usual, his mind in his happy place as he distractedly did what might resemble curls, presses, etc. After three rounds, YHC checked the watch and saw there were about 20 minutes left, and after some fatigue math, figured it might actually be possible to finish close to 7:30 if I pushed, though that wasn’t a very attractive option. Yankee and Enron weren’t far behind, so I knew the decision to finish at all cost wouldn’t just affect me. But, whatever song came on at the time reminded me why we were doing this, so if pride wouldn’t get me across the finish line, a suffering brother would.

    The 7:30 alarm went off, giving all who were on a tight schedule a reason to stop. YHC had four man-makers and 800m to go, so the decision to finish was an easy one. Yankee Joe wasn’t far behind, but it was the decision by the rest of the PAX, especially Montana, to accompany YHC on the final 800m run that was inspiring and greatly appreciated. Enron provided the push for the final sprint, and then we all collapsed like dead bodies scattered on a battlefield. The oxygen that seemed to have been in short supply up to that point tasted as sweet as food to a starving man, and we gulped it hungrily and gratefully.
    Slow moseyed to the flag with blocks on shoulders, COT, and Yank prayed us out.

    Mumblechatter afterward revolved around the unprecedented bio data, which was collected by what is still a variety of devices. This one was definitely a memory maker. YHC is extremely grateful for the men out there today and their willingness to dig deep, which is what it takes to forge true and lasting brotherhood. Honored to be joined with this crew in the trenches!
    SYITG,
    Goose

  • Stupid is is Stupid Does – from Goose

    Armed with his trusty Anker, YHC rolled up to The Stage to a solid crew that included the newly minted Lil’ Cuz and an FNG from Cardinal’s parish in Chackbay (which was somewhat overdue for the king of EH-ing). After a lengthy disclaimer and a warmup of the usual, Anker was fired up, and YHC explained the culture of epic movies back in the day. When a big budget movie came out, everyone saw it dozens of times, quoted it for years, and it defined culture for decades. Though that happens more rarely these days given the glut of video media produced, YHC though it important to dive into one of the greatest epics of the 90’s, Forrest Gump.
    Using highlights from the soundtrack, we took a trip with Tom Hanks through the 50’s, 60’s, and 70’s, with a different exercise for each song (each played to the end, Paradox) as follows:

    * Hound Dog: Mountain climbers for the duration, 2 Carolina Dry Docks on “hound dog”
    * Walk Right in: Imperial Walker’s for the duration, prisoner squats on “sit right down”
    * Land of 1000 dances: Q calls different core exercises (cuz of all the dances), 100’s on “Na-nas”
    * Blowing in the wind: burpees for the duration, rest on refrain (How many burpees must a man throw down, before he can break for oxygen? The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind…)
    * Fortunate Son: Chinooks for the duration, genuflection on “It ain’t me”
    * California Dreaming: SSH for the duration, Bonnie Blairs on “California dreaming” (2:1–you know, cuz she’s a speed skater…on ice…”on such a winter’s day”)
    * For what it’s worth: side plank, Mission Impossible plank for refrain, then switch sides (elbows in, Montana!)
    * Volunteers of America: bear crawl in a circle, switch to crab walk at “revolution” (once per refrain)
    * Let’s get together: Partner 1, back plank, feet on the back of Partner 2 who’s high planking, switch on refrain
    * Turn Turn Turn: wife pleasers, switch to J-Los on “Turn, Turn, Turn”, then back to wife pleasers, etc. (required some Q tweaking to even it out).

    The Pax enjoyed commentary comparing the lack of creativity in lyrics from the 50’s and early 60’s to Lil’ John’s “Turn Down for What” as well as Lil’ Cuz’s rookie realization that songs used in beatdowns are forever ruined and have to henceforth be removed from all playlists. Thankfully, most of these weren’t on any of his playlists.
    Count-off and name-off, including the naming of the FNG, which required an explanation as to how F3 names work, though Paradox wasn’t there for the standard example, so Enron had to suffice.
    Welcome to the crew, Super Fun! Excellent work, especially in having to approach a group of strange, middle-aged men standing in a circle in the dark and letting another man put his beefy, sweaty legs on your back. Looking forward to seeing you out there Saturday!
    COT and Lil’ Cuz prayed us out.
    Thanks for posting, gents! It’s an honor to be joined by you in the gloom!
    SYITG,
    Goose

  • The St. Vincent 500 – from Paradox

    Our tale begins in the spring of 2022 in a small bayou town where a community pharmacy, after taking losses from storm and plague, had great need. After decades of providing vital prescription medicine for those in need, this team of volunteers now searched for the same helping hand. The Pax of F3 Thibodaux heard the call, and a plan was devised. We consulted our sage leader for advice. This HIM had carried the torch of 3Fs from the Mandevillage many moons ago. He knew the way of the pax and was skilled in the smithing of a fine beatdown. He peered into the gloom with a thousand-mile stare and the fate of the fundraiser hung in the balance. “if you build it..they will come” Goose said with a nod and then promptly vanished into a flurry of burpees. With a team formed and a grant secured we dove into the work.
    An event was needed and a place to rally the pax. A race, but not just any race. A challenge of physical and mental strength that would call to the hearts of the Louisiana PAX. A series of pain and cardiovascular torture so intense that no self-respecting HIM of F3 Nola could resist. It was forged in the caves of .word files and hammered through the gmail circuit boards. Welded to perfection one station at a time. A burpee here, a bonnie blair there. Precious metals adorned it at every corner to award prepared pax but many traps lay waiting for poor form. It was written, and it was done and it was beautiful.

    The beacons of aid were lit! Thibodaux called for aid…and our brothers answered.
    39 PAX (including 6 FNGs!) assembled at the stage on a gorgeous bayou morning! They came from northern shores and from western banks. From uptowns and motherships. From Grannies and Lakefronts. They came in calf sleeves, mudgears and some even bare of foot! Namesakes that struck fear like Shooter and Tanked. Some that drew intrigue like Hokie and Hawg. Famed backblasters we had read for years like Steve and Akbar. Even legends of the gloom like Frac and the Reluctant Yankee, who were there when the deep magic was gifted to us from the eastern coast. They followed a lonesome bayou road and mumbled Deliverance jokes along the way. They came as one to help a great cause and lock shields with their brothers in the bayou. The course was set, pleasantries exchanged, and the only thing left to do was make a run at 500. Let’s get to it…

    Warmup

    Goose gave the disclaimer and race details, and pointed out key safety and strategy reminders. Each two-person pax team would start at a numbered station along the course. Once the horn was blown, they would begin at their station and advance. Each station had 3 options: bronze, silver or gold. (Worth 10, 15 and 25 points respectively. So, a perfect score of gold at all 20 stations would reach the mythical 500 points. These corresponded to the number of reps completed by a team combined. They then would grab the token and secure it in an advanced technology carrying case (Ziploc bag). Head for the next station and rinse and repeat until you have finished 20 stations or ran out of time.
    After this was explained he led a thunderous cadence of our usuals stage warmups. This was YHCs first experience with a >20 pax group and the big group energy was powerful

    THE THANG

    Pair up, line up and we were numbered off 1-19 (one team of 3). Each team headed for their station and when GI Joe hit the airhorn it was geaux time. The stations were as follows:

    STATIONS:
    1. Merkins- 40, 80, 120
    2. Bobby Hurleys—30, 60, 90
    3. Freddy Mercuries—50, 100, 200
    4. Coupon Curls—40, 60, 100
    5. SSH: 50, 100, 150
    6. Carolina Dry Docks- 40, 60, 100
    7. Big Boy Sit Ups- Partner does big boys, one partner sprints to next station and back. 100, 150, 200 situps
    8. Side lunges (2 is 1)- 40, 80, 120
    9. Coupon OHP- 40, 60, 100
    10. Burpees- 30, 50, 100
    11. LBC’s- 50, 100, 200
    12. Peter Parker Merkins- 30, 60, 90
    13. Bonnie Blair (2 is 1) 40, 60, 100
    14. Brick Back Flys- 50, 100, 200
    15. Leg Raise Dora – One partner Leg raises, one partner bear crawl to next station and run back. 50, 100 or 200
    16. Mission Impossible Plank- combined time: 1 minute, 2 minutes, 5 minutes
    17. Coupon Swings- 40, 60, 100
    18. Prisoner Squats – 50, 100, 150
    19. Mountain Climber (2:1) 50, 100, 200
    20. Arm Circles while partner crabwalks to next station and runs back. Complete 100, 200, or 400

    After 1 hour of “Pax vs St. Vincent course” the dust settled and everyone returned to the flag. Chatter was high about the difficulty of the layout, the supreme fun had traversing the course and low rumblings of scores north of 400 permeated the air. A few teams completed counting up their coins while we began the count off, and name off. YHC was impressed with the veteran naming experience of NOLA and northshore pax. Their FNG naming skills were unparalled and we left with six newly minted local PAX: Welcome Sir Lawrence, Kodiak (CodyYak), MeatSweats, One Call, Wallflower and Lambchops. Looking forward to getting yall in the mix.

    Now down to serious business. YHC and Goose dramatically unveiled the official St. Vincent 500 dual trophies for the final presentation. Imagine a 12-inch manifestation of the love child between Hulk and Stretch Armstrong, in a full rage pose. Victory is all he has ever known. After appropriate oooohhhhs and ahhhhsss Goose led a suspenseful point count-off to see who the last team was standing. In the end, the combination of Tanked Up and Speedy Gonzalez tallied 470 points and took home the first annual St. Vincent 500 trophy! T- Claps on those numbers gentlemen. Phenomenal effort. We’ll all be gunning for you next year.

    Coffeeteria after provided by our St. Vincent de Paul board and it was great to get a chance to talk shop with all the pax and compare notes on course strategy.

    YHC could not have envisioned the tremendous amount of support we would receive from both our local community and our F3 community for this cause.
    So grateful for each one of you who spent your weekend time and energy for this event.

    At the time of writing this backblast we have raised $10, 451. 51!! This goes directly to purchase of prescription medicine for those individuals in need. Praise God!

    Thank you for the oppurtunity to lead.

    SYITG,
    Paradox

  • Circle of Life by Yankee Joe – from Goose

    The Circle of Life

    Recently, after acquiring his first set of progressive eyeglasses (let’s be honest…they’re trifocals), YHC had been reflecting heavily on his life journey thus far. In keeping with the melodramatic pondering that is called a “mid-life crisis,” YHC called on the wisdom of Mike Tyson.

    While exploring the pivotal issues of his day, Iron Mike once observed, “I don’t understand why people would want to get rid of pigeons. They don’t bother no one.”

    Indeed, Michael, indeed.

    But what does this have to do with the Circle of Life? Just this…when you find yourself at the pinnacle of your life’s AS-cent, you are only moments away from biting ears and solving Scooby-Doo style mysteries on Adult Swim.

    In the depths of this brooding, the miniature Yankee Joe’s discovered “The Lion King” (the original version, of course…because I’m not a monster!) That broke YHC out of his funk and led to a more light-hearted backdrop to an otherwise dark beatdown.

    After doing a practice runthrough of said beatdown, YHC decided that cinder block coupons were not…well…safe. Thus, YHC showed up with 5 gallon jugs of water (albeit useless) handles. Paradox would later point out that there was a “sneaky psychological angle” in wanting desperately to drink the water. He did not, however, voice this concern during the beatdown as that would almost certainly be considered high-country mumblechatter. I digress.

    Notable Mentions:

    – Montana back in action. A drug dealer with tinted windows just makes this better.
    – Cardinal continues to dominate bear crawls in ways that YHC simply cannot understand and can only aspire to achieve.
    – A peace offering in which Paradox (chief lobbyist for JBL) chose to support Bosé in an awkward moment
    – Goose=Beast
    – Enron asked YHC to be his partner for the St. Vincent’s 500. YHC said yes.

    6 PAX at the Stage

    Warm-up:
    The usual suspects with some – apparently very challenging – wrist circles, then mosey around the track.

    Thang 1: Young and Hopeful

    – Absolutions (Groiner, Mahktar N’ Diayes, and Chilly Jack, done on an 8-count cadence); As always, thanks to Goose for maintaining the sanctity of the proper Exicon terminology
    – On the concrete; OYO for the duration of “I Just Can’t Wait to Be King.” (3 min.)
    – Real men should be able to complete 34ish reps. YHC is not a real man.

    Thang 2: You must crawl before you walk…or for that matter, before you do lunges with coupons

    – Army crawl 18 yards to marker; 6 bonnie blairs (1=1); army crawl back to start; 5 big boys
    – Zombie crawl 18 yards to marker; 6 bonnie blairs (1=1); zombie crawl back to start; 5 big boys
    – Bear crawl 18 yards to marker; 6 bonnie blairs (1=1); bear crawl back to start; 5 big boys
    – Lunges, core twist to knee side WITH coupon; 6 bonnie blairs (1=1); lunges back to start; 5 big boys
    – High skips WITH coupon, 6 bonnie blairs (1=1); high skips back to start; 5 big boys
    – Sprint across field and back (approx. 100 yards); 6 bonnie blairs (1=1); 5 big boys

    Thang 3: In Your Prime
    – For the duration of Hakuna Matata (3 min, 33 sec)
    – With coupon, continuing step ups on ledge in stage pavillion, alternating legs
    – With coupon, 5 squats on every Hakuna Matata

    Thang 4: “Remember, man, that thou art dust, and unto dust thou shalt return” Gen 3:19

    Reverse Thang 2
    – Sprint across field and back (approx. 100 yards); 5 calf jumps; 5 superman raises
    – High skips WITH coupon, 5 calf jumps; high skips back to start; 5 superman raises
    – Lunges, core twist to knee side WITH coupon; 5 calf jumps; high skips back to start; 5 superman raises
    – Bear crawl 18 yards to marker; 5 calf jumps; high skips back to start; 5 superman raises
    – Zombie crawl 18 yards to marker; 5 calf jumps; high skips back to start; 5 superman raises
    – Army crawl 18 yards to marker; 5 calf jumps; high skips back to start; 5 superman raises

    Mary’s…kinda sorta

    – WITH coupon; Assortment of what began as four ab exercises for the duration of “Circle of Life” (4 min), alternating randomly at the discretion of the Q.
    – WWII sit-ups, big boys, flutter kicks holding coupon high, obliques
    – At some point, Enron decided to point out that YHC was not transitioning in the order that it was explained. YHC then added superman raises (with coupon) and American hammers. Enron then further rebelled by not doing superman raises because he allegedly had no skin on his left knee from army crawls.

    As YHC continues to learn the ways of the Force, he must become better at explaining thangs and keeping up with Goose.

    Gents, thanks for keeping YHC in his Prime and out of the fart sack.

    SYITG,

    Yankee Joe

  • Scout it Out – from Goose

    YHC knew that in order for this particular beatdown to work, there would have to be more than just a couple of PAX in attendance, and they did not disappoint. Four was the magical number, and after a warmup of the usual, YHC led a mosey to the beginning of Rich Man’s Loop to reveal the rules of the expedition.
    While three PAX stayed put at each street light completing a given exercise AMRAP, a lone scout would sprint to the next light and back to let us know if the coast was clear (thankfully, it always was). Once the path was scouted, all PAX moseyed to the next light, and the next man up scouted while the rest pounded it out. Exercises included (but weren’t limited to: diamond merkins, jump squats, big boys, side lunges, werkins, leg raises, star jumps, gas pumps, burpees, shoulder tap merkins, mountain climbers, and others adding up to about 20 total street lights.
    Upon return, a couple of ten counts were wanted, and then the deck of death was unsheathed and shuffled. Poker was so much fun on Saturday that YHC decided to give it another go. Largest hand wins, and all exercises in that hand are completed. YHC took the first hand with triple two’s, which might sound easy, there are no easy cards in the deck of death. There are some stupid hard ones, though; every time I open the box I say a prayer that the 400m sprint remains untouched.
    Then, it was Deal or No Deal: each PAX pulled a card and could decide if we did that exercise or pulled the next one. If a second was pulled, there was no going back to the first, so it was always a gamble. No 400m sprints were chosen, so all else seemed a merciful gift in comparison (though, monkey humpers plagued us throughout with their sneaky burn).
    COT and updates on the SV500–things are coming together well with some high quality PAX registering from NOLA and the Northshore. T-claps to Paradox for all the work and leadership he’s putting in. Be prepared to play a vital role in the coming days, though–there’s much to be done! And, if you haven’t registered, don’t wait, do it right now.
    Grateful for these fellas for making these mornings so impactful!
    SYITG,
    Goose