F3 New Orleans

Tag: Enron

  • Crack a Cold One and Tip it on Back to ‘Merica – from Lil Cuz

    That’s right Merica, U S and A
    We invented mud tires, aluminum cans, and freedom
    I’m from Merica, how ’bout you?
    Got that right
    In 1776, Uncle Sam and this bald eagle found Lady Liberty and her rocky mountains
    They knocked boots and yelled Yee Yee
    And boom, there it was, just like that
    Merica was born

    I’m Earl Dibbles Jr and I approve this message
    Yee yee!

    Today we honored an American Legend, Earl Dibbles Jr., he’s a country boy. He wakes up, straps on his overalls and puts a good dip in. His heroes include Chuck Norris and Uncle Sam, and his hobbies include breakin’ out the cooler with a 12 pack and breakin’ line fishin’ on a creekside. YEE YEE!

    Old Fashioned Warm up with all the usuals and a little added request from the previous night’s group chat of Hillbilly Imperial Walkers. Your Welcome Yank! I hope I didn’t mess you up too much with my sporadic cadence counts.

    Thang 1: ‘Merica by Earl Dibbles Jr
    Hold Plank for duration with a slow burn Merkin for every ‘Merica. We would also do a Merkin for every “Yee Yee!” heard today.

    This was a slow burn to prepare the Pax for what was in store near the end of today’s beatdown. Everyone faired well with comedic stylings of Mr. Earl Dibbles Jr. himself paying respect to the #1 country in the whole universe. U, S of A baby! Back to Back Undefeated World War Champs!

    Thang 2: Mini IPC – Single Shot
    25 Curls for the Gurls,
    Farmer Carry Coupon across field
    25 Goblet Squats
    Farmer Carry Coupon back to Starting Point
    25 Overhead Press
    Farmer Carry Coupon across field
    25 Coupon LBC’s
    Farmer Carry back to starting point.

    This warmed the muscles of all Pax as they started to notice some signs behind us creating a little mumble chatter as to what they may be starting to recognize form last year.

    Thang 3: Workaholic by Earl Dibbles Jr.
    Hold squat at different levels (High, Mid and Low) changing level for every workin’, workaholic, and breakin’.

    After this song, YHC gave a little background on Mr. Earl Dibbles Jr, AKA Granger Smith. Granger and his wife lost their youngest son a few years back and Granger has spoken about the struggles he has dealt with this and being finally able to accept the loss of his youngest child. I cannot imagine what Granger was going through in this time and I prayed for him and prayed that I never experience this great loss. This also got me thinking about the hardest thing I have had to do in F3 since joining and of course IPC comes quickly to mind. I jumped into the middle of IPC at only my second beatdown and struggled very heavily through the entire thing. I accomplished it and still to this day I am not sure how. I’ve grown a lot since then, and so too has Granger Smith it seems. Recently, he has decided to end his music career to focus on ministry and aid other people struggling through losing a child. I cannot commend this man enough for wanting to share what God has done for him and his own healing and how he has been able to turn such a loss into a way to do God’s work here on Earth.

    Thang 4: IPC 2022 Week 4 Re-do
    Center Station of 5 Man-Makers to start and moving to each station to complete the exercise posted there and coming back to center for 5 man-makers between each station.
    1st Station: 15 Coupon Swings
    2nd Station: 10 We’re Not Worthies
    3rd Station: 20 Overhead Tricep Extensions
    4th Station: 15 Goblet Squats

    This was continued for the duration of the beatdown and lasted around 30 minutes.
    I am solidly impressed by the work the Pax put in today through this IPC re-do. All Pax took the challenge in stride, never blinked and got to work. Pouring sweat and pushing through the pain moving to the next station. I am looking forward to IPC this year and the work this group can put in to show the rest of F3 what the Thibodaux Pax are made of.

    6 Minutes of Mary, Potluck Style

    Moments to Note:
    Never Give Goose a chance to potluck Mary because Dr.W’s are coming, I promise.

    French Horn got to practice his cadence before his VQ and honestly he is already leaps and bounds better than Tana. Great Job!

    ANIMAL shirt bestowed to the Animal himself, Smooth Operator! What a beast this guy is! Always ready to work harder than anyone else around! Congrats brother!

    COT and Yankee Jeaux prayed us out. Looking forward to seeing the slo-mo video Yank! If you know, you know.

    SYITG,
    Lil’ Cuz
    YEE YEE!

  • Tennis Balls, Basketballs, and Duck Poop – from Goose

    YHC rolled in two minutes late to a patiently waiting threesome of Enron, Yankee Joe, and a Picadilly surprise (good to have you back in it, bro!). YJ had brought the requested basketball, and YHC had fished a few raggedy tennis balls from out of the ball bin in the garage for a TurboTax inspired thang at the Den.

    After warmups of the usuals, minus cherry-pickers cuz we weren’t gonna be using the shoulders (big surprise), YHC explained who TurboTax is (the previous leader of the Northshore PAX and crusher of cardio and legs) and shared that as an F3 noob a few years back, the team tennis ball relay was in just about 100% of all Turbo beatdowns. It stuck in the memory because it never failed to both stoke the competitive fire in a special way and suck the wind out YHC’s lungs in a special way. Basically, teams traverse a distance by throwing a tennis ball to one another ultimate frisbee style: the one with the ball can’t move but must throw it to a teammate further up the trail. Today, we partnered up, YHC with Dilly and Enron with YJ–the starting line was the lion, and the finish line was the lion after traversing up to the lake, around the whole track, and back.
    It didn’t take long for our hands to get used to catching the ball, and though there weren’t many drops, the ones that happened were the key to failure/success. When a ball was dropped, both partners had to complete 5 stationary lunges (2:1, knee all the way to the ground, in the duck poop) before continuing. YHC and Dilly employed the many short throws strategy, while Enron and YJ opted for the fewer long throws strategy. Though YHC and Dilly seemed to drop one or two more times, it was the last drop that mattered most. Enron and YJ stayed just ahead through the whole race, and YHC expected to have to utilize a long Hail Mary pass at the very end to squeak out a victory, but at the very end, Enron and YJ choked on the the emotional excitement of their impending win and dropped the ball allowing YHC and Dilly to pass them like a Ricky Bobby slingshot and grasp victory by the…tail. (You know, like a lion’s tail.) The losers’ penalty was 15 celebratory star jumps congratulating the tenacity and steadfastness of the winning team.

    Thang 2 was a partner Dora of 100 Big Boys, 200 Flutters (2:1), and 300 LBC’s. Partner 2 ran to the lake, nurred up the levee, and ran back to flapjack. Gotta keep bustin’ dem abs for when we rip off our shirts at the Firemen’s 5K for the finish line photo!

    Ended a little early so we could have plenty of time for the last thang: 2-on-1 fast break drill on the basketball court. With four PAX we had enough for two men on offense to try to head down the court and score against one man on defense while the remaining man stood under the opposite goal counting down from 10. If the two-man team either turned the ball over or couldn’t score within ten seconds, they incurred a 10 squat-jump penalty. Then, one of the men on offense stayed back while the defender joined the other, and it was 2-on-one going toward the other side. We continued rotating with one man left behind to count down from 10 and (most of the time) complete his quickly cumulating jump-squats.
    YHC expected the puddles to be a factor, but they weren’t. The fact that we all suck at basketball, however, was a major factor. (We could probably also blame about 5% of it on the dark, too.). Either way, it was a fun, challenging way to keep the heart rate high and the reflexes working for about 15 minutes before heading back to the flag.

    Announcements with some gratitude for answered prayers, and the Animal shirt was finally bequeathed to Yankee Joe out of a combination of pity and partner bias (just kidding–it’s always great to watch–and hear–YJ put his all into a routine, especially for a partner). Dilly prayed us out well, and we’re both looking forward to and dreading Saturday with Cuz.

    SYTIG,
    Goose

  • “Does that thing have a hemi-peeen in it? – from Wiford Montana

    A Tuesday in the light gloom began, YHC arrived a few minutes early and all the pax arrived before or at that time. We had a few moments prior to warmups so p Dox had to fill the void. Thus the hemi-peen topic surfaced. Googling this not recommended for most work devices but it only science so the entire pax in attendance was educated. Somehow after this we recovered to begin some semblance of a workout routine. I was both shocked and astounded that I learned something this riveting prior to 5:15, t claps for winning the Thibby for oddest image of you injecting a gecko with anti-inflammatory medicine in the bicep and using sugar to reduce local swelling symptoms. The sheer life experiences second to none. I somehow press on…..

    Warm up
    Usual stuff with a clear concise instruction set of I do say so myself.

    The thang. This was inspired by yankee joe due to the fact this man assembled a word document with all IPC routines from 2018 till present day with instructions and links to the corresponding YouTube video. Wow can you say living it! He provided multi horrifying workout in this doc so well done sir.

    4×8 minutes IPC modified
    Round 1: 8 minutes of burpees after 20 reps run the field
    Round 2: 8 min big boyz after 20 nur field
    Round 3: 8 min merkins after 20 karaoke field
    Round 4: 8 min v ups after 20 sprint

    Great work gentleman I really enjoyed your hard work and commitment just to put out and workout start to finish.
    Viva La jean!!!!!

  • Partner up for a wild ride – from Wet Tap

    Partner up for a wild ride.
    5 PAX showed up to the stage for a close encounters beatdown.
    After a normal warmup and a loss of concentration (YJ looking from across the gloom in a
    stunning turquoise tank top), the PAX answered in unison what happens if you step on a crack!
    A 1600 meter run around the loop. Can’t step on a crack or a 1burpee penalty. The PAX took
    this is stride and not one penalty occurred! Decent warmup.
    Thang 1
    Partner laid on his 6 15 yards out, the other sprinted out the blocks trying to overtake him. 50
    yds in total. Rinse and repeat from 10 yards with a partner flip. Looser gets a 20 lunge penalty
    2:1 Simple yet satisfying. Although is it… 3,2,1 or 3,2,1,go! It’s up for debate of course.
    Thang 2
    Close and personal! Mixing things up a little and making sure you know your partner, YHC
    thought an inverted row being held by your partner in Al Gore 10 count. Flip this after by the Al
    Gore turning into a partner deadlift 10count.
    This was a one and done. Eye contact was at an all time minimal, and it made monkey humper
    and wife pleasers a G rated kindergarten exercise. Next…
    Bear crawl carry your partner 25yd switch and a wedding carry return. The bear crawl was
    fun. The urge to put one hand in the air and slap YJ was heavy. I hope he doesn’t feel the
    same.
    Thang3
    Another partner move.
    Back to back drive. One partner locked arms with the other and drove a backpedal NUR with
    partner giving resistance.
    Shoulder to shoulder drive- same but with a lateral shuffle.
    Legs are burning and it still not time!
    Ring of fire.. everyone on their knees!
    Count off with a knees to feet jump. No hands buddy! A 50 count
    A little mary time.
    Partner is the name of the game.
    I had to join Goose and Dox on this one for a thripple. Everyone on their 6. Arms locked- a 30
    count of heels to heaven. Gently tapping toes with leg lifts. This is when all hell broke loose.
    What started as a gentle hum of a fainting song quickly lead to an all out 150 decimal Ballard of
    power rangers. Why? Why not?
    Finishing up with dead bugs and bird dogs the core was nice and warm. A few laps around
    the track and it was time!
    COT and prayers
    Another great workout with a PAX who pushes you to be better. Thanks to all!
    #Goose # paradox # Enron # Yankee Joe
    # wet tap

  • Oops, I Hit it Again…History of Baseball, Vol. 1.4 – from Yankee Joe

    Disclaimer:

    The following is a modified replay of a beatdown and blast from October 22. Thangs have been changed to protect the innocent. Butttt…since nobody is innocent, Duke can go ‘head and roll that bean footage like he’s Randall Floyd en route to buy Aerosmith tickets.

    In reality, YHC’s 2.3 got in and out of his crib 7,348 times, so yeah…modified re-run. Deal with it.
    —————————-

    Key Takeaways from The Morning:

    – This was a baseball themed beatdown and based on the throwing warm-up, we have a lot of work to do before we start riding up on our BMX’s and accuse folks of bobbing for apples in the toilet. Coyote and Pope were the only exceptions here. Our B-Rods as it were.

    – I think Dilly pointed out that Cardinal’s otherworldly crab walk talent apparently transfers to nurring. Seriously…the guy literally moon sprinted around the bases like his hair was on fire. Sha mon, hee heee!

    – While we’re on Cardinal, he was rocking the ANIMAL tank today. When I say rocking, I mean dang. This dude is ripped. I challenge you to find another man in the cloth with this brand of guns. Seriously…Contarini, Law, Richelieu…these Cardinals were fartsacking Crossfit workouts two weeks in.

    – Backward lunge walks are unnervingly difficult. Unless of course, you do them Picadilly style, then it’s more of a klaw. Yeahh…you get it.

    – A combined 800 reps of ab exercises was something. That said, Wet Tap’s grin seemed to grow with each rep, no doubt due to the turquoise euro trash tank showcasing his 12-pack mural of abdominals.

    – Speaking of tank tops, only Paradiddle could pull off wearing a Kenner dress shirt and Fidel Castro’s field cap…and still look cool. ¡Viva la Revolución!

    – Apparently, the best way to shut down Enron chatter is to talk about baseball. I assume this is because he’d rather play with his own stick, cradling it, swinging it, all to keep the ball in the head and then whack at other men’s sticks to get at their balls. (Lacrosse, people. Enron played lacrosse…sheesh.)

    – Ragnar Montana switched from man bun to a pony tail. It’s pretty impressive. Looks like an eternal flame over his head like the Presence at Pentecost.

    – Goose.
    ————————————-

    Warmarama

    Mosey to baseball field for pre game warmarama
    Side straddle hops
    Windmills
    Arm circles forward
    Arm circles backward
    Cherry pickers
    High knees 15 yards, back
    Butt kick 15 yards, back
    Carioca 15 yards, back
    Extended nur 15 yards, back
    Warmup throw & catch with partner (In cadence)
    — Wild throw = 1 burpee
    — Dropped ball = 2 burpees

    ——————————————

    Chapter 1: 1830 – 1845

    How many perfect games have been thrown? 23

    There are many references that seem to allude to a crude predecessor of baseball as far back as the late 1700’s. In 1845, Alexander Cartwright, considered the true father of modern baseball and a member of the original New York Knickerbockers, wrote baseball’s first code of rules. These rules made up the core foundation of the sport we know today. Of note, you could no longer throw the object or ball at the opposing player to “put them out.” A shame, really.

    To celebrate Mr. Cartwright’s contribution in 1845:

    Pre-Thang 1: 1845’s
    – Bear crawl to first, 18 burpees;
    – Bear crawl to second 45 leg lifts;
    – Bear crawl to third, 18 Bonnie Blair’s (the hard way);
    – Bear crawl to home, 45 lbc’s

    ——————————————

    Batter Theme Song #1: Centerfield

    – Hillbilly squat walkers during verses
    – Bobby Hurley’s on refrain

    —————————————–

    Chapter 2: 1845 – 1903

    What is the distance between home plate and the pitcher’s mound? 60 feet, 6 in.

    In 1876, the National League was created. By 1901, the rules as we know it were instituted. In that same year, the American League was formed. In 1903, the first world series was played between the Boston Americans and the Pittsburgh Pirates. The Red Sox won. They won 91 games that season.

    In honor of that achievement:

    Thang 2: 91’s

    Lunge walk to first, 91 SSHs
    Lunge walk to second, 91 freddie mercuries 1:1
    Lunge walk to third, 91 LBC’s
    Lunge walk to home, 91 flutter kicks (2:1)

    —————————————–

    Batter Theme Song #2: Glory Days

    – Leg lifts during verses
    – LBC’s on refrains – try of 25 each refrain

    ——————————————

    Chapter 3: 1905 – 1945

    Who was the first team Babe Ruth played for? Red Sox

    By 1905, as baseball was being recognized as the national pastime, a commission was formed to investigate the true origin of the game. Was it based on the English game of “rounders” or the American game of “Old Cat?” It is during this investigation that Abner Doubleday mistakenly found his way into baseball founding history lore. His involvement has been firmly debunked over the past decades. Omaha missed the memo.

    Thang 3:

    Sprint relay race around bases; two teams; sprint in oppo direction (one pax toward first base and the other toward third.

    – Round 1: Normal Sprint – non runners are doing SSHs, winning team does 15 groiners; losing team does 15 burpees

    – Round 2: Nur – winning team does 25 leg raises; losing team does 100 LBC’s

    – Round 3: Backward lunge walk/frog hops – winning team does 15 bobby hurleys; losing team does 25 prisoner squats

    ———————————————–

    COT, Cardinal bestowed the ANIMAL tank upon Pope…very well deserved. Tap passed the Euro Trash (I recommend calling her Gigi moving forward) to YHC. Fortunately, turquoise works perfectly with my complexion and sporadic back hair.

    Paradiddle prayed us out.

    Even though this morning was not a true original, I had a blast. YHC’s themes are a bit of stretch, and I appreciate the PAX playing along. You never know how it’s going to turn out, so you just jump in. As Yogi Bera once said, “The future ain’t what it used to be.” Respect and Gratitude for each of you.

    SYITG,

    Boston Joe out.

  • There Goes My Hero – from Paradox

    On a gloomy spring morning on April, 20 2023 7 pax loaded into the back of big brother Yankees Time wagon (it’s kinda like the DeLorean but it runs on veggie juice and compliments) and headed to the Lions Den cinemaPlex circa 1985. YJ successfully posed as our dad to get our R rated tickets at the counter then Tana grabbed us some 64 ounce colas and we headed in after removing Enron from the stuffed animal claw game …”I was on a heater!”
    The cheap orange lights began to dim as Goose unpacked the Big league chew he smuggled in just for YHCs bday. We settled into creaky back row seats. You can smell it now can’t you? A fine mix of popcorn, cigarettes and regret. Cardinal assured us the place was lacking on Holy water. Nothing like a movie theater in the 80s. We covered Young Horns eyes through the atrocities of the first two trailers then came the last….

    A deep baritone voice describes the big screen …

    “This Summer….(screen flashes man loading grenades as ominous music plays) …
    In a world full of corruption (screen flashes man strapping on bazooka ) one man will Q a beatdown to single-handedly save the pax
    (Screen flashes tightening vest ) …
    His mission , relentless cardio (screen flashes JBL ) …
    His enemy …mumblechatter
    (Screen flashes boots lacing up )
    His help…there is none (screen flashes war paint ) …

    POOX Films brings you ….
    A Prestige Worldwide production …
    “Every 80s Action Hero”
    (Ominous music reaches crescendo )

    Duke! Put down those Mike and Ike’s and roll the footage!

    Warm Up

    The usuals with 35 reps of SSH to get the PAX in the right state of mind. Cardinal immediately regretted waking up after the 21st straddle hop.

    YHC gave the disclaimer that today we would honor two great gifts from the 80s. YHC andddd the great 80s action hero. Take a look at this list :

    Terminator
    Predator
    RoboCop
    Bloodsport
    Die Hard
    Lethal Weapon

    That’s just the tip of the iceberg.
    What a time to be born !
    Before CGI and remakes, no stunt doubles needed. Just a bazooka and a one liner and the lone hero saves the world. So we set out to honor the 80s action hero.
    But first some training.

    Bazooka Indian Run to the ball park. Last man does 3 bazooka squats with Ole hickory (30 lb bar) and runs the bazooka to the last man then sprint to the front. (I love the word bazooka , it just rolls off the tongue …bazooka)

    Arrived at the ball park where we learned lesson 2, shooting a million nameless henchmen.
    YHC dialed up that ole nurturing lullaby from Drowning Pool.

    “Let the Bodies Hit Floor “
    Bobby Hurley on Floor
    IW on song
    Air raises on 1..2…etc
    And there’s still nothing wrong with us !

    The Main Thang

    Jacked and Tan Circuit

    The 3rd and most important lesson of the 80s action hero is to always look good. So we needed a full body circuit.

    Setup: 7 stations , 1 central cone for the Hero who would serve as our timer while surrounded by goons with different weapons.

    Monkey Humper Trivia before each round

    Our first paradox hero was John Matrix , who YHC dressed as today
    He was the star of this 1985 action movie about a retired army colonel who must track down his kidnapped daughter ?

    COMMANDO

    What actor played John Matrix?
    ARNOLD

    I’ll stop here to note that watching 21 yo French Horn nail every single 80s trivia question when he wouldn’t be born for another 15 years is astounding. Like seeing Beethoven with his first piano. The kid has a gift. Keep shining Horn. T claps.

    Round 1 John Matrix Commando
    Center Cone – 35 big bar boy sit-ups

    1. KB swings
    2. Jump rope
    3. Coupon curls
    4. Brick flys
    5. Med ball Slams
    6. LBCs

    Round 2 John Rambo (1982)
    This 80s action movie launched an entire franchise
    About a Vietnam vet who wanders into a small town looking for a friend.
    Sly Stallone -Rambo-82
    15 monkey Humpers

    Central Cone – 20 squats

    Round 3 John McClane (1988)
    This 80s action movie is about a grizzled veteran cop who only wants to get home to his family but must batted 12 terrorists instead.
    Bruce Willis

    10 monkey humpers

    10 Peter Parker’s at central Cone

    The muscle fatigue was so intense that the distractions ranged from open air 5 year Thibodaux hard commits to YJ calculating how shredded he will be at 65. The pax (YHC included) continue to struggle with jump rope and it seems Enrons lack of rhythm is infectious.

    We ended with an all out “it’s gonna blow “ sprint to the flag where Goose let us know his shoulder may be injured but nothings wrong with the quads fellas. The old man is pure smoke in those new brooks!

    Some Mary where YJ melded animal noises with a cadence that created the time vortex to bring us back to present day Thibodaux.

    COT and the Goose prayed us out.

    NMM

    Has there ever been a more stupid phrase than “single handedly”? What has any human ever done completely by themselves? We are created by an all knowing , all powerful God , then birthed by our mothers and cannot provide a single bit of support for ourselves for roughly the first half decade of life. Yet here I am , time and time again, and with that special brand of pride. I can do it, I can pull it together, I can do this, just put it on my shoulders. And while that trope sells all the Hollywood tickets for action heroes, it’s only a path to destruction in the real world.
    For what did our real Savior look like. A bazooka? Nope just a legion of angels he left uncalled for. Surrounded by his enemies? Absolutely. So he went for nunchucks right? Nope, he took the relentless suffering then while nailed to a cross , forgave them instantly. And with his dying breath he must have nuked the place in a slow mo sprint ? Although it’s what I would have done it’s a nope again. Instead he poured out an ocean of Divine mercy and single handedly Saved the whole world.

    ….There goes my Hero

    SYITG
    Dox

  • History Lesson, by Coyote – from Goose

    If you think about a specific day, you might think, “It’s this person’s birthday,” or, “Dang it it’s tax day.” If you go on google and look up a day like that, you will then think, “This is the day that everything happened.” That was what YHC thought when YHC looked up April 15th. The Pax and YHC started the warmups, we did the normal exercises, Side straddle hops, Imperial walkers, Windmills, that kind of stuff, then we moseyed to the Titanic (The playground, also today is the day the Titanic sunk) and sailed away while jamming out to “Come Sail Away” while doing Imperial walkers and when we heard “sail away” we instinctively shot the basketball like Bobby Hurly, then we hit the iceberg and we started climbing the ladders like Goofballs, and when we were done doing that, we raced and wrestled to get to the highest part of the ship, then the lifeboats. Sadly, Superfun(d) fell and had to start swimming like Scuba Steve. We did it again and we lost our Paradox. Today is also when the great Notre Dame cathedral caught on fire, so we ran from the sinking Titanic to the Thunderdome where we where surrounded by a ring of fire while doing flying buttresses (merkin and airplane) and laying down making the steeple fall down with six inch holds and leg raises. We ran from the burning cathedral to join the Boston Marathon, (today was the bombing of the Boston Marathon). We saw the bombs, they exploded, so we got in pairs and broke out in BOMBS. One runner ran a hundred meters and back, then the two partners switched places. It went on like this for fifty burpees, one hundred overhead presses, one hundred monkey humpers, one hundred big boy sit-ups, and one hundred side straddle hops. Smooth Operater had his two 2.0s. By the time everybody was done, he was dragging the wagon and doing monkey humpers, so we helped out on the sit-ups, straddle hops, and running. While we were hammering out those, Redfish was lying on the ground resting. With all the help, we finished pretty quickly. I then mentioned that today, ninety-four people died in a soccer stampede, so we ran around the track twice, and at each goal post, we would get trampled and do ten hand-release merkins, trying to get back up but getting knocked back to the ground. We moseyed back to the flag and did some eight minute Mary. YCH let the entire circle choose an exercise to do. After that, it was count off and name off, we congratulated Tractor for his fourth birthday, Cardinal forgot the Animal shirt, and the tank top was given to WetTap, and YHC did the cooldowns alone today. This has been history lessons with Coyote.

  • Offerings of Smoked Quads and Abs – from Yankee Joe

    Warm-up

    Side straddle hops
    Windmills
    Arm circles forward
    Arm circles backward
    Cherry pickers
    Self love
    Blast-offs
    Mountain climbers
    Mosey lap

    The Thang – 4 rounds for time (more if time permits)

    50 lbcs
    40 jump squats
    30 big boy sit ups
    20 Bonnie Blairs 2:1
    10 v-ups
    Lap around civic center (approx. 1/4 mile)

    ————————–
    Exodus 14:5-7
    – 7 He took – six hundred – of the best chariots, along with all the other chariots of Egypt, with officers over all of them.

    2 Chronicles 29:31-33
    – 33 And the consecrated things were – six hundred – oxen and three thousand sheep.

    Judges 3:31
    – 31 And after him was Shamgar the son of Anath, which slew of the Philistines – six hundred – men with an ox goad: and he also delivered Israel.

    F3Thibodaux 4:13
    – And….in the land of Thibodaux, near the banks of Bayou Lafourche (Bayou Side), SEVEN lost PAX of F3 Thibodaux set out to complete four rounds of 150 reps, numbering 600 reps in total in a beatdown offering at the Lion’s Den. However, some of the PAX brought more offerings by doing five or more rounds. Paradox and Enron, during a founders’ meeting (Ya hateth to see such elitism), did runneth two miles before the beatdown.

    —————————-
    Paradox, who came from Homeria, who was the husband of a real doctor, and who sends forth gas into the face of his brethren, he did cruncheth 200 lbcs. In total, he did completith 750 reps of all offerings and a 1.25-mile run.

    And Goose, son of Emu, son of Ostrich, who was fruitful and exponentially multiplied across the earth, he did jumpeth 160 times in the air. In total, he did completith 880 reps of all offerings and a 1.25-mile run.

    And Montana, son of Cotter, who was lost in the wilderness of pro shops, but had foundeth his way home, he did sitteth up 120 times. In total, he did completith 750 reps of all offerings and a 1.25-mile run.

    And Smooth Operator, from the mighty tribe of fence builders, and who did rucketh miles with wrenches on his back, did completith 750 reps of all offerings and a 1.25-mile run.

    And Enron, son of Bernie, and who advised others on how to worshipith silver shekels, and was a chief violator of form, repented and did lungeth with a chaste woman named Bonnie Blair 80 times the hard way. In total, he did completith 880 reps of all offerings and a 1.25-mile run.

    And Cardinal, who had favor with the Lord, but continued to farteth in his sack, and expert on leavened breakfast sandwiches from petroleum markets, he did sitteth up in a V forty times. In total, he did completith 750 reps of all offerings and a 1.25-mile run.

    For all of these offerings, the tribe of F3 Thibodaux did bring to the Den. In five or more rounds, the reps numbered more than 600. Final offerings were made with 95 reps of Mary.

    COT and the sleeveless finery of both the ANIMAL and EURO TRASH varieties were bestowed upon Father Cardinal and Paradox respectively. Our long lost brother, Montana, prayed us out.

    And behold, Yankee Jeaux, provider of coffee from Abraham’s bosom, and oldest of the tribe, with thirty and one hundred years, this day victoriously beat down the dark (and annoying) shadows of mumblechatter and thus humbly (and with immense gratitude) served the PAX.

    SYITG,

    YJ

  • On the Road Again – from Paradox

    Well Im running down the road trying to loosen my load , I got 7 Pax on my mind. 4 that wanna own me, 2 that wanna stone me and one says he’s a friend of mine!

    Come on Yankeeeeee, don’t say maybe!

    I gotta know if His sweet love is gonna Save me!

    We may lose and we may win
    But we will never be here again
    So let’s warm up , mountain climbin in and take it easy…

    Duke! Get the footage and plug Bucees into the gps
    It’s time to hit the road. (Jack)

    Today YHC wanted to kickoff the Easter season through one of my favorite resurrection stories : The Road to Emmaus
    It gives such a different perspective from two disciples heading home from Jerusalem and highlights many of YHCs struggles like expectations and contentment.

    7 strong at the stage with really fine cool spring weather, perfect for making music with my friends.

    Warmup
    The usuals and a bumper mosey with mild to moderate chatter including Tana (welcome back Kotter) in full blown insubordination and Kilo wasting no time tweaking the Qs transitions after missing roughly the last 97 beat downs. The man has clearly been keeping his knives sharp during the layoff. Even a seasoned Q questioner like Goose could respect the effort. T-claps. Most other notable chatter surrounding the incredible confirmation cookout for two of our pax last night and the unbridled power of 50 plus kids.

    To set the stage and mindset of these disciples we got started with a little F3 classic Flowers by Moby
    They brought Christ up and then down and they thought he left them to weap and moan….
    Alternate squats and Leg Raise.
    Always a joy Moby.

    Mosey to the yet to be named Finance Office lot where we tested out the fresh pavement with our first Gospel trivia.

    How many miles from Jerusalem to Emmaus?
    The pax overshot at 14 and paid with 10 oyo burpees

    A little trivia interlude with “On the Road Again “ by Willie Nelson.
    Rocky Balboas on parking bumper during song , burpee on Road . Ronnie with a JBL sponsored BreakOut Performance hitting some groovy rhythm looking like a young Travolta out there. Must have been a few drops of Jucifer left in the tank.

    Second trivia round where pax correctly guessed the Gospel of Luke and reduced the reps to 5 burpees .

    Mosey To Corner of Richmans loop

    Trivia 3 where YJ quickly answered Cleopas as the named disciple and not to be confused with YHCs uncle Clofas who always lets you know that “he knows his rights “

    For the remainder of the beatdown we ran the “big track “ with intermittent excerpts from the Road to Emmaus as our ten counts.
    We completed dry docks, Australian angels , and SSH in increasing fashion on the corners.

    Lastly, hopefully inspired by the disciples revelation, we made an all out push for the flag in running fashion as we left our own beatdown expectations behind. Great effort to push through the pain together here.

    Goose handed down the coveted Animal shirt and YHC is already doing hallway merkins to make sure the threads are peak strain on Thursday.

    COT and Kilo prayed us out.

    Tremendous gratitude for all God is providing in this community .

    NMM

    Sometimes YHC really pumps up my own expectations and discontent leading to further chaos and an endless search for the “greener pasture “. The story of the road to Emmaus always reminds me of how we can look back and see what God placed all around us even when we were too busy to see it unfold.

    With our own plans the sounds of our own wheels can drive us crazy! So lighten up while you still can. Don’t even try to understand. Just find a place to make a stand and take it easyyyyy!

    That’s all I have to say about that

    See y’all on that gloomy Road

    Dox

  • You Don’t Got This, Bro – from Goose

    As six PAX gathered at the Lion’s Den, and Smooth revealed his beastly self, which was straining against the turqoise spandex of the Euro-tank, YHC was putting the last second finishing touches on a Holy Thursday themed beatdown.

    We started with a warmup of the usuals after which Paradox, with much pomp and circumstance, formally shared his conclusion (after much research) that high knees and butt kicks usually go together. Thank you, Paradox, for your contribution to the scientific F3 community.

    We moseyed to the basketball courts where YHC meticulously set up cones 20 meters (not feet, not yards) apart while Paradox meticulously connected YHC’s phone to JBL. We would be completing a bleep test, wherein an app gives beeps at intervals a few seconds apart, and those intervals get shorter and shorter as time goes by. At each beep, those being tested have to run the 20 meters from one cone line to the next before the next beep is sounded. At the next beep, they run back. If you can’t reach the cones before the next beep, you’re out and have to plank up off to the side.
    The focus this morning was on not leaving your brother to suffer alone–that was the challenge given. F3 is all about shared suffering, so don’t let the guy next to you down by leaving him to suffer alone. This worked surprisingly well as all PAX blew through the previous performances at Schreiver Park. Once the first and then second guy dropped, though, it was like dominos. Cardinal and Lil’ Cuz showed some serious tenacity, though, by holding strong for multiple laps after that initial wave had crashed. Ultimately, though, everyone eventually called it quits, which gave YHC the chance to unpack some Holy Thursday content:

    When Jesus told is apostles that they’d all abandon him, they thought they wouldn’t, that they could hang, especially Peter who swore to stay with him to the end. None of them knew their limitations like God did. And, when he asked Peter, James, and John to stay awake and watch and pray with him, they couldn’t, even after multiple chances were given. They were weak, and they all ran away, and Peter even denied him, not once, but three times. God didn’t call them and entrust his mission to them because they were strong and brave, but because of what He could do through them. But, they had to experience their limitations first before they could learn to rely on His mercy and His strength.

    Next, we moseyed back to the front of the civic center and partnered up for a classic Dora 1, 2, 3. This would bring us into the chaotic experience of the apostles running every which way to try to survive–cuz that’s what happens when you try to measure how much you have to offer, or how much more you can take. You end up just trying to survive.
    While Partner 1 chipped away at 100 merkins, 200 squats, and 300 LBC’s, Partner 2 bunny hopped up the stairs during the first 100, nurred up and down during the 200 (pretty chaotic), and ran two steps at a time up and down for the last 300 before coming back and switching with their partner.

    So, now that we understood a little better the fruitlessness of trying to measure what we have to offer, we turned our attention to what Jesus wants to offer. We gathered at the lion for the song “Remembrance” by Matt Maher. Imperial Walkers for the duration (legs got pretty darn heavy) and burpees on remember/remembrance and worship.

    3 minutes of Mary, and COT with some solid prayer intentions. Smooth needed the help of two men to remove the Euro-tank, and he lobbed the sweaty mess at Lil’ Cuz. Looking forward to seeing it on you Saturday, Cuz!

    SYITG,
    Goose