F3 New Orleans

Tag: Fast Tax

  • Twas an Epic Battle – from Fast Tax

    ‘Twas an Epic Battle
    The morning dawned bright and clear at El Diablo as 10 PAX made their way to the flag, having made the wise choice to avoid the pot-hole ridden millennial Frisbee game Uptown. You could feel the wonder and anticipation permeating in the crisp November air as questions swirled in the minds of the PAX present; what did Fast Tax have in store for us? Would there be chocolate as promised? Did I leave the iron on?

    After a quick disclaimer, we moseyed to our usual warm-up area by the rocks accompanied by Fracsac’s and Bogie’s moaning about it being a sprint instead of a mosey.
    Just for Hokie, YHC modified his regimented game plan to begin with Hillbillies, for a reason that I can no longer remember…something to do with some team winning something…

    Remaining warmups consisted of:
    o Arm Circles (fwd and bwd)
    o Seal Claps
    o Skydiving Australian Snow Angels

    Right as warmups completed, we were joined by Stripes, (Fast Tax 2.0) having returned from deployment.

    Unwilling to jump right into the main event, YHC selected the Ascending Testicles to kick things off: 10 Merkins OYO at 15 degrees (hold for PAX), 10 Merkins at 45 degrees, and hold at 90 degrees (aka balls to the wall).

    The next exercise, the Bruce Lee, would test the bounds of the concentration or understanding of many of the PAX (apparently), since the difficulty evident in following directions was paramount.

    The Bruce Lee was supposed to consist of 3 sets of 15 reps of each the following: Hammer, Leg Lifts, Dying Cockroach, LBCs, Heel Touch, and Crunchy Frog, with a 30 sec rest b/t sets.

    However, with time and comprehension both limited, YHC wisely decided to push on to the next event, the Flip-Flop.

    The Flip-Flop is a 2-PAX team exercise that begins on a starting line with PAX 1 flipping a pallet end over end to a designated finish line while PAX 2 lunges to the same line holding a 35-40lb rock. PAX switch at the line and race back. Admittedly, YHC could have engineered more creative uses for the pallets (thanks to Hokie for the pallet loaner) but, I didn’t want to take too much time away from the main event.

    After returning rocks and pallets, we moseyed to the field for the big reveal…BATTLE FRISBURPEE.

    To the wonder and delight of those in attendance, YHC explained the concept and the rules.

    Battle Frisburpee – The Concept:
    A blend of ultimate Frisbee and dodgeball, with an emphasis on individual burpee punishment, played running the width of a football field as the length and the 5 and 20 yard lines as the left and right boundaries. Each sides goal began 5 yards in from the corresponding end. This equates to a field 160 yds from end to end, including a 5 yd end zone on each side, and a width of 15 yards (or more if more than 10 players).

    Battle Frisburpee – The Rules:
    To score, a PAX must catch the Frisbee in the opposing team’s end zone (duh).
    When a team scores, the entire opposing team must do 4 burpees.
    If the Frisbee is dropped, i.e. thrown but not caught, the last person it touches (usually the one throwing it or the one who muffed the catch) must immediately drop and do 4 burpees. The Frisbee is still “live” and is treated as a fumble, any nearby PAX from either team can pick it up and resume play.

    If the Frisbee goes out of bounds, the last person it touches (usually the one throwing it or whoever it hits on the way out) must immediately drop and do 4 burpees. The Frisbee is “dead” and is treated like a soccer ball that went out of bounds, i.e. the opposing team now stands at the spot it went out and immediately resumes play (without waiting for burpees to be completed).

    If either of the player’s feet or any part of the Frisbee itself crosses the boundary, it is deemed out of bounds (clarification provided for Frac’s sake).
    Each team must appoint a “Baller” to act as a goalie of sorts. The Baller stays in the end zone and can throw the dodgeball at any approaching opposing team member, whether they are holding a Frisbee or not. A player hit with the ball, must immediately drop the Frisbee, if carrying one, and do 4 burpees. The Frisbee is still “live” and can be picked up by anyone else.

    The Baller is the only one who can throw the ball at an opposing player and the Baller must throw only from the end zone.
    The player is only “hit” if the ball doesn’t touch the ground first.

    With that out of the way YHC will finish the tale…
    Team 1: Fast Tax, Stripes, Bolt, Shooter, and Triple Shift
    Team 2: Boo-Boo, Hokie, Bogie, Frac Sac, Hawg, and Rudy

    The battle was close and hard fought…not really. It was close for the first 2 points, then admittedly, Team 2 pulled ahead, clearly due to their height advantage over Team 1. After several close calls and numerous burpees, Team 2 walked away with bragging rights, with a final score of 4-1.

    With game over we headed to COT for name-o-rama, announcements, intentions, and prayer.
    Followed by Coffeteria at PJs.

    Thanks for the fellowship!
    SYITG

  • Look Mom! I’m 4! – from Rev Sox

    Everyone is born once. Many have been born twice. A select few have been born thrice. Today YHC celebrates the 4th anniversary of my third birth.
    On January 27, 1983 on a cold, wintry morning in Binghamton, NY, Shawn Willson was born to David and Becky Willson at Wilson General Hospital.
    At some point in the late 80s, YHC has no clue to the precise date, he had his second and most important birth. YHC believed and trusted in Jesus to save him and give him His life. At that moment, YHC was born again through the power and saving work of Jesus to now live with eternal life.
    On Veterans Day weekend in 2017, Hawgcycle and Channel Mullet heaped unending piles of guilt on YHC’s two scrawny shoulders and convinced YHC to join them for his first F3 workout. The following morning through sweat, tears, and much complaint, YHC was born a third time as Rev Sox. Hater of Red Sox and hater of step ups. The Pax celebrates that day, today.
    Circle Up for the Warm Up
    No mosey to the Rock Pile or some dark corner of Pontiff Park, the Pax starts this one hot with the warm-up right at the flag.
    SSH – 20
    Hillbillies (in honor of the hillbilly standing next to YHC who introduced him to this stupid group) – 20
    Smurfjacks – 20
    Low Slow Squat – 12
    Bat wings (don’t put your arms down until we’re done) – 10 forward arm circles, 10 reverse, 10 seal claps, 10 overhead claps, 10 Moroccan night clubs
    The Thang
    Mosey to the first pavilion, it’s occupied, mosey to the second pavilion to commence the memory of YHC’s first F3 – this means step ups
    Dips – 15
    Right leg step ups – 15
    Dips – 15
    Left leg step ups – 15
    Mosey to the bleachers
    Tooth fairy
    Seven merkins on the first bench of the bleachers, six on the second bench, and so on until you hit one at the top
    Alternating step ups – 20
    Mosey to the playground
    Alternating step ups – 20
    Mosey to the Rock Pile and Grab a Rock
    In Cadence, 6 curls and 1 shoulder press, 5 curls and 1 shoulder press, 4 and 1, 3 and 1, 2 and 1, 1 and 1
    Now with 6 shoulder press and 1 triceps extension
    Now with 6 chest press and 1 big boy sit up
    Now with 6 squats and 1 curl
    Return your rock and Mosey to the football field. At this point, Mop began to trash talk that he was feeling perfect and maybe the Q needed to step things up and make it more difficult. That kid is such a punk. Who lets a 9-year-old come to F3 anyway?
    Circle Up for Some Climate Change
    In honor of COP26, F3 NOLA did our part this morning by hugging our imaginary trees and putting our faces in the grass in remorse over all the noxious gases that have been released into the atmosphere during F3 workouts. The Pax held Al Gore while the first Pax went down and did 6 merkins, the second began his after 3 were completed. Two rounds around the circle.
    The Celebrating Fun
    It’s not a Rev birthday without Ultimate Frisbee and some guys running around without a shirt on in the cold so Boo Boo and War Eagle can complain about it on end for the next couple of years.
    The Pax split up in two teams – shirts and skins. The shirts won because they are a bunch of jerks who don’t let the Q win on his birthday celebration. Thankfully, since there were no Lakeview players present, cheating was at a minimum with everyone hitting the ground for their merkins after every turnover. Final score: shirts 5, skins 4.
    The End
    Short mosey back to the flag as the Pax counts off, name-o-rama, announcements, and prayer. Thank you all from the depths of my heart for what you have each meant to me over the past 4 years. Your presence is everything. Working out alone is the worst. May F3 endure from now until the end of Christ’s rule on earth. I hope to do F3 into eternity.

  • BETTER LATE THAN NEVER! – from Fast Tax

    Okay…so it’s been a few days since YHC Q’ed Rock City but a late backblast is better than no backblast.
    Twas the morning after All Hallows Eve as six brave souls ventured forth to work off their treats from the night before.

    After disclaimer, we headed near the rock pile for warmups.
    Warmups consisted of:
    o Grass Grabbers IC 10
    o Abe Vigodas X 12 IC
    o Happy Jacks X 4 Sets IC
    o Forward and Reverse Arm Circles
    o Swan Dives

    Sufficiently warmed, we headed to the rock pile, grabbed large rocks (most of us) and headed to the field.

    The first event was Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum – of course. We lined up and, trying not to hit each other and incur 20 burpees, we threw our rocks as far as we could, broad jumped then lunged the remaining distance to the rock. Rinse and repeat until we hit the fence.

    Next, we traversed to the track for a lap or two of Catch Me If You Can. Dragon walk was the third exercise beginning at the 50yd line and ending at the goalpost.

    Having dispensed with the preliminaries, it was time to head to the darkened tennis courts for the main event.

    Blind Man’s Dodgeball:
    The original setup, which I must admit was mostly taken from Rev Sox’s Q, went something like this:
    Two Pax were on opposite sides of a half-court with rest in between. When a Pax got hit, he would step off and do the exercise following the one the previous PAX did from the following list: 8 Pull-ups, 8 Burpees, 8 Bodybuilders, 8 BBS. Then he would return and take over as a ball thrower.

    Admittedly, the rules evolved somewhat as YHC learned that one half court was waaayyyy too small, but using half of two courts with throwers on each end was too boring due to it still being relatively dark and hard to see. The best configuration was keeping the throwers restricted to the green area of the court while rest of Pax had to stay on the red areas (partial credit to Rudy).

    At 6:15 it was back to the rock pile and a quick mosey to the flag for COT.
    Coffeteria at PJs followed.
    Thanks for the fellowship!
    SYITG

  • The Rocky Run – from Baywatch

    Conditions were cool and excellent for an early morning Friday beatdown. With pleasantries exchanged and a disclaimer given, we moseyed over to the rock pile for a warmup.

    Warmup (IC):

    SSH 20x
    Hillbillies 20x
    Stormtroopers 20x
    Peter Parkers 15x
    Parker Peters 15x
    Arm Circles F/B 15x

    Now the fun part…everyone grabbed a rock (well, except for Rougarou. He grabbed a pebble.) and we headed over to the track.

    The name of the game was 4-corners. We did 4 laps around the track, carrying our rocks, and stopping at each corner for some fun.

    Corner 1–25 curls & 25 flutter kicks (FK)
    Corner 2–25 overhead presses & 25 FK
    Corner 3–25 bent over rows & 25 FK
    Corner 4–25 squats & 25 FK

    After 4 laps we all finished right at the buzzer with Bogey and Vagabond leading the way. We dropped our rocks off (and one pebble) and headed back to the flag to close it out.

  • Back to Burpees by Popular Demand – from Fracsac

    12 pax at The Uptowner looking to put some work in to improve and get stronger. Weather was a bit humid, but cooler awesome weather is on the horizon! Bogey, Hand Grenada, Left Coast, War Eagle, Mahatma, Hokie, Hobbs, Boo Boo, Triple Shift, Fast Tax, Pass Interference (DR from Atlanta) and YHC got after it at 0530 sharp.

    Disclaimer given, then mosey to the well marked and groomed field.

    Warmup was typical with some bat wings to get the arms ready! Yes, Moroccan Night Club dancing happened!

    The Thang

    Shock and Awe!

    5 SSH IC and 10 burpees OYO
    5 SSH IC and 9 burpees OYO
    Yada yada yada….
    5 SSH IC and 3 burpees OYO
    5 SSH IC and 2 burpees OYO
    5 SSH IC and….duh! 10 burpees OYO!

    Mosey to the goal line
    Bear crawl 20 yards at a time, SSH waiting for the six

    Bear crawl to 20 yard line, Catalina Wine Mixers x 10
    Bear crawl to 40 yard line, LBC x 20
    Bear crawl past midfield to 40 yard line, Merkins x 10
    Bear crawl to 20 yard line, some core exercise
    Bear crawl to goal line, 8 count Body builders x 10
    That’s 100 yards of bear crawls, not too shabby!

    Dirty Mac Duece

    We did 4 rounds of 12 reps of a leg, an arm and a core. Ran a full lap between sets on first, modified to half lap on other 3 to ensure we would finish.

    One minute left, so some West Bank Lazy Boyz!

    Mosey back to the flag

    COT

    NMM

    -War Eagle was upset with YHCs lack of burpees recently. This beat down provided resolution.
    -The Uptowner is sort of a non running AO, but that’s just a guideline and is flexible. The pax didn’t mind. Maybe running meant less burpees, so will have to address that next time. Less running, more burpees….
    -Coffeteria was awesome as always.
    -Pass Interference visiting from Atlanta was great, we always enjoy visitors down range!
    Convergence is tomorrow 0630 City Park to celebrate 7 years in Nola!

    SYITG

  • Copycat – from Rudy

    YHC was devoid of inspiration late Sunday night. The Q was his in the am. He’d just fallen back on his usual (Rock 11s) very recently, and couldn’t risk disappointing RevSox again. Fortunately, Mr. Arkansas unintentionally came to the rescue as he posted his pre-BB. It looked brutal. So… Sounds about right for Rock City.

    Call me a Copycat. I’m ok with that. After clarifying what an “alpo” was, and realizing that would only cause problems at Rock City, YHC modified slightly, and had a game plan. Alas, despite having promised it to a few other Pax (looking at you Frac – thanks for coming anyway), the Yippee Bag was still in the closet waiting to be filled up with treats for another future workout.

    At 5:30, YHC issued the disclaimer, tried to give our FNG some fair warning (thanks, Vagabond, for bringing him out!) and we were off to the rock pile.

    Quick WarmUp. YHC fumbled through the explanations of Peter Parker and Imperial Walker, falling back on “uh, just move this thingy towards that thingy.” I think I actually used the words “appendage”. Scantron seemed to offer necessary clarity to our FNG.

    Grab a Rock. Feel free to go big – once we get to the Tree Field, we won’t be moving.

    The Thang: Rock Pyramid. Once again, YHC struggled mightily with his “words” during the explanation of this. The PAX were not bashful at calling out my multiple verbal fumbles. Thanks for keeping me honest – I can only imagine how I might have responded as a PAX to this kind of mumbo-jumbo I was spouting. But anyway…

    Manmakers, Overhead Presses, Curls, Squats, Rows, BB Situps, Bench Presses were the exercises. Do the pyramid. The one catch: YHC was the timer – x5, then x5/x10, then x5/x10/x15 etc. etc. etc. Everyone else: push yourselves and do as many as you can in the same interval. So we stay together in time, but everyone is going OYO. Makes about as much sense here as I write it as it did while I tried to say it.

    Ample resting to try and recover, intermingled with a few penalty laps for PAX heckling. But we got through it. Must have pushed the PAX because things DEFINITELY got quieter after about 15 mins.

    Bring the rocks back (Rifle Carry as much as possible). Head back for some LBCs, a few burpees. And welcome Triple Shift, who seemed to be joining us after a leisurely walk around the park.

    COT, including naming of our new guy “Water Pistol” (last name was Cannon – Thanks Hand Gernada, for what might go down as the fastest naming ever….) Welcome back Bagpipes – may we see you again soon!

  • SLT 2.0 – Summary – from Reluctant Yankee

    This is a no frills backblast summary of our organizational meeting on Tuesday 8/18/21 7pm at the PJS on Magazine St. I am sure if Hawgcycle wrote this – it would be witty and clever but I am neither of those things. I assigned it to the Birdcage AO but this really belongs to ALL AOs.

    The rain tried to keep us away, but we would NOT be deterred. Even non-beatdowns happen rain or shine. During the meeting the PAX enjoyed bourbon produced by a PAX member and beer brewed by a PAX member. Seaman brought his own stuff.

    The PAX – assembled…Tool, Roots, Catfish, Triple Shift, Mahatma-Ice, Cowbell, Fast Tax, Kuch, Seaman, Vagabond, Sandbar, FracSac, Rudy, Rev Sox and Baywatch. We were missing Hawg and Gabby due to RONA, several PAX out of town, several PAX had other obligations.

    Tclaps to Aubry Miller – owner of PJS magazine for reserving the space for us!

    The outline of the meeting was…
    1. The History of SLT 1.0
    -Here I explained how I landed the sweet job of Nantan for the last 7 years-(not really 7 but since we became a region). How Hawgcycle became Weasel Shaker and how Tool, Roots, and Rudy(Comz) ended up becoming part of the SLT 1.0 although we never truly embraced this idea. Instead, we focused on the Starfish and all of us equally stepping up and in when and where needed-along with many other PAX of F3 NOLA over the years. Side Fx, Woz, Amnesty and some other PAX have been part of the “undefined” SLT in the past.

    2. Leadership Roles in F3 Nation (typically)
    Nantan – Q of the Region “the guy”
    Weasel Shaker – Support for Nantan but also the guy that keeps people from weaseling out of things. Q school guru. Finger on the pulse of our region guy.
    1st F Q -Fitness: Checks and makes sure we have site Qs, Q schools, checks to see if all Aos are viable,etc. **This is just the surface but you get the idea
    2nd F Q Fellowship– Mr Party Pants “the glue” CSAUPS, etc
    3rd F Q Faith – Dr Dynamite. This is Qsource, Bible Studies, Shield Locks, Outreach, Service opportunities, etc (This model isn’t compulsory- just what is typically done)
    And Comz.
    NOT part of SLT but part of the regional leadership are the Site/AO Qs.
    Each AO has a site Q – we will start to push for yearly leadership change at each AO.
    Site Q duties are:
    a.) Manage Q schedule for AO, headlocks Qs.
    b.) Welcomes Fngs – gets their information to COMZ
    c.) Sells AO, and the mission. Qs when Q fartsacks.
    d.) Harass Qs to write BBs. 1 year term.

    3. The plan for SLT 2.0 — We spent a chunk of time debating selection of the SLT members outside of Nantan and Weasel. Hawg’s wacky lottery idea and my more normal idea that comes from almost all of the other F3 regions concerning selection of SLT by Nantan and Weasel. The end result merged both ideas.
    -Term will start at the CONVERGENCE 10/16/2021
    -SLT 1.0 will not be permitted to serve on SLT 2.0
    -2 year terms (maybe first two appointees only serve one year so that we can change the rotation of leadership to every year we have 2 new leaders every year)
    –New Nantan and Weasel Shaker will be selected by SLT 1.0
    –New SLT breakdown will be 2 selections by the new Nantan/Weasel. 2 selections by self selected lottery. If you agree to be in the lottery – you agree to also be selected by new Nantan/Weasel for the two positions of their choice.
    –Rudy will be COMZ until we find a suitable replacement – that change can happen as soon as we find “the guy” otherwise our leadership is stuck with him
    –SLT 2.0 will need to have meetings (don’t commit to this if you don’t have time)
    –I will reach out to the PAX via the weekly email to volunteer to be in the lottery this weekend.

    4. The plan for future growth (for the SLT 2.0)
    a.) 501c – Tool and the $$, Gaby and Moana
    b.) Slack vs Groupme
    c.) Growth of AOs in the region (Northshore region plan, Thibodaux, West Bank,etc)
    d.) EH Outside our demo

    5. CSAUP calendar
    a.) IRON PAX – Sept – start getting Pax registered now
    b.) 10 yr anniversary in Wilmington, NC aka CAPE FEAR Oct 9/10
    c.) Roast to Coast – first weekend in NOV
    d.) Go Ruck Vets beatdown in NOV
    e.) Christmas Party – Almonaster has the Q

    I am looking forward to pushing forward with SLT 2.0. I can’t wait for some explosive growth in 2022. I hope that we can keep our own regional identity and stay true to the starfish and really insist that we are all the F3 NOLA leadership. Also – NO Otisbombs. If you have a great idea for F3 NOLA – you step up and you Q it!
    SYITG –
    Reluctant Yankee

  • Rush and the Giant – from Fast Tax

    It was a pleasantly coolish morning as eight Pax manned-up to start the week appropriately at Rock City, eagerly anticipating what YHC had in store.
    After disclaimer, we headed to the rock pile.

    Warmups consisted of:
    o Abe Bagodas X 10 IC
    o Matt Biondis X 20 IC
    o Seal Jacks X25 IC
    o Mountain Man Poopers X10 IC
    o Swan Dives X 10 IC

    After med-heavy rock selections, we headed to the field.
    The first exercise was Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum, starting on the line with your rock.
    Each Pax performed the following sequence OYO: Squat, double arm shotput rock, broad jump toward rock, lunge the remaining distance, pick up and overhead press rock, and repeat the sequence for 40ish yards, then, turn around and repeat back to the starting point.

    Colt 45s (basically a broken down curl) were next, with rock IC: 15 reps go from the bottom of the movement up to the halfway point (with your arms at a 90 degree angle and hands at elbow level). 15 reps go from the halfway point up to the top of the bicep curl (hands up near shoulder level). 15 reps Start at the bottom of the movement and complete a full range of movement all the way up.

    Captain Thor followed, a 1:4 ratio of BBS to American Hammer, performed OYO, increasing by 1:4 each rep (i.e. ending with 10 BBS and 40 Amer Hammer).

    The Red Barchetta was the next event (should have been done to the musical accompaniment of Rush’s 1981 hit – Red Barchetta if YHC had remembered to bring his phone).
    Sequence OYO but plank after each sequence until last Pax completes:
    o 100 yard dash, 100 SSH, run back to goal line
    o 75 yard dash, 75 mountain climbers (2 is 1), run back to goal line
    o 50 yard dash, 50 BBS, run back to goal line
    o 25 yard dash, 25 merkins, run back to goal line
    o 10 yard dash, 10 Burpees, run back to goal line

    Then it was back to the rock pile.

    With a little time to spare, YHC thought a little absolution would be good for everybody…make that 15 Absolutions OYO followed by 5 burpees (for Fracsac) and a mosey back to the flag for COT.

    Thanks for the fellowship!
    SYITG