F3 New Orleans

Tag: Jingle Vader

  • Crips Don’t Drive Volvos

    I have to admit that I anticipated a light and groggy pax this morning following a beautiful Easter weekend here in NOLA.  I know I afforded myself an extra beer or two between the Crescent City Classic and family festivities over the weekend.  Yankee perhaps anticipated the same when he texted last night to make sure I had the Q on my radar.  Too tired to orchestrate a plan last night I figured I’d hash one out on the fly this morning.  All was going perfectly while I walked towards the park this morning thinking about the best beatdown possible.  All of sudden I see a car creeping down Magazine without its lights on.  My heart rate ticked up a bit thinking that maybe this was it.  Then as it came closer I noticed it was white Volvo SUV and I remembered that old adage that Crips (or Bloods for that matter) don’t ride in Volvos.  That’s just when G-spot came in to focus and I knew that I wasn’t the only one that was groggy!  I went back to my resting heart rate.  But not for long as I walked up to the virtual flag and saw we had a guest pax in our midst- no other then F3 co-founder OBT.  Thanks Yankee for the heads up!  At least it will be an authentic beatdown.

    The Thang:

    Disclaimer and we’re off a traditional Skinny lap.

    Mosey counter clockwise around the track to a grassy spot for a warm up:

    • SSH IC x 30
    • Smurf Jacks IC x 20
    • Plank Jacks IC x 30

    Mosey to the row bars for 4 groups of 4:

    • Rows
    • Mountain Climbers
    • Jump Squats
    • Burpees for the count x 15

    Two columns for Indian Run all the way to the benches at the St. Charles entrance fountain:

    • Dips IC x 20
    • R Leg Power Ups x 20
    • L Leg Power Ups x 20
    • Derkins => Shoulder Taps => Derkins IC x 10,10,10

    Back to the track for some running intervals:

    • Mosey
    • R karaoke
    • L karaoke
    • Backwards run
    • Mosey
    • POW run until halt

    Green space by the green for some Mary:

    • 10 Burpees OYO (just to mix it up)
    • Dying Cockroach IC x 20
    • LBT IC x 20
    • Hello Dolly IC x 20
    • Invitation to Douille to pick the next classic ab exercise, Pickle Pounders (go figure!) IC X 10

    Two column Indian Run to the pull up bars.

    • 4 groups of 4: each guy doing 10 pull ups while the others Al Gore.  When all four are done mosey together back to the flag.

    Count off to 16 and namorama.  Announcements: Blue Ridge Relay, thanks to OBT for telling his experience with this team building opportunity!  Intentions:  for a Holy Name dad undergoing cancer treatment MD Anderson and for all the dad’s of new babies including Landing Strip.  Thanks for the opportunity to lead!

    Post Script:  So authentic was the beatdown OBT congratulated me on a good VQ!  Here’s hoping perhaps he was little groggy too!

  • Good Friday

    Good Friday.  I didn’t plan anything special.  I get a big fail for not including anything Good Friday related.  Mid-workout Sandbar had an idea for a Stations of the Cross workout!  I hope that happens next year.

    A very cool 60 degrees – wet ground but no rain.

    I brought back the CLassic Tinkles Blimps on the Avenue.  Here we did Burpees-Lunges-Imperial Walkers – Merks – Plank Jacks – Squats  – increasing by 5 at each intersection.  A very visible advertisement for F3 NOLA.

    From the Avenue we rain straight to the top of Wolfpack Mtn.  Once I realized how wet it was up top – we came back down to the 6th floor which we used as a base.  Here we did SSH x 20, Mtn Climbers x 20.

    From here – we ran down the stairs and up the far stairs.  Once back at the top we did  Dying Roach x 20, Dying Bug x 20.

    Another LAP.  We did Peter Parkers, and Parker Peters.

    Another LAP.  (3.5 total laps)  Back on the 6th floor we did Hip Dips x 12 each side, Bird Dogs x 20, and Monkey Humpers x 20.

    After that 3rd lap we ran back down to the bottom – and did Merks around the clock.  Each pax grab a concrete barrier for cars, DO 10 Merks facing 12 o clcok, 10 merks facing 3 oclock, 10 merks facing 3 oclock hand on the concrete barrier for a staggered effect, 10 merks facing 6 oclock decline effect, and 10 merks facing 9 oclock .

    A quick scramble over to the alley of benches.  Here we did 40 dips OYO.  Then we decline planked and waited for the 6.

    Finally we hustled back to the FLAG for COT.  A Good Friday prayer .

    Peace and See You in the Gloom.

    Always a pleasure to lead.  Reluctant Yankee

  • The House of Pain

    4 of us gathered around an invisible site flag awaiting that 0530 start time when out of nowhere we hear screeching tires and a revved up engine coming in hot to the parking lot, blinker included.
    Who could it be? none other than our very own (or uptown’s own, we’ll never know) Jingle Vader!

    With 5 strong, a brief disclaimer was said, and we were off.

    Mosey to the lakefront for:

    COP #1 – WARM UP:
    5 min of SSH (ISI) in cadence X 160 #crowdpleaser
    20 X Imp Walkers
    20 X Hillbillies
    20 X J Lo’s

    Mosey to the top of the levee and Canal blvd.
    Running east on top of the levee: Butt Kicks, High Knees, Karaoke L, Karaoke R.

    House of Pain Circuit:
    Round 1:
    Timer- Bear crawl to top of levee, 5 burpees, run down
    Dips
    Merkins
    WWII Sit Ups
    Pull Ups

    Round 2:
    Timer- Bear Crawl up levee, Bear crawl down levee (face first)
    Step Ups
    Merkins
    Russian Twists
    90 Degree hang

    Round 3:
    Timer- 50 X Squats
    Box Jumps
    Elbow Plank
    Dying Cockroach
    90 Degree hang

    Mosey back to the lakefront.
    COP #2 – MARY- DJ Style:
    Two Yutes – 15 X LBC
    Rudy – 20 X Box Cutters (10 each dir.)
    JV – 20 X Crunchy Frog (RIP Shorty)
    Surge – 20 X Flutter kicks
    Cowbell – 10 X Hello Dolly, 10 X Rosalita, 20 X Tin Snips

    Mosey back to the VSF for COT.
    Looking forward to a strong F3 showing at CCC!

    Thanks for letting me lead.

    -Cowbell

  • Eyes on the Road! Ya Merkin Maniac!

    So on a beautiful Monday morning, YHC moseyed up to the AO and noticed no water anywhere around!  It’s been awhile since we haven’t had the sweet aroma of ducks@#t surrounding us in our beatdowns.  Maybe this is a good sign…  After disclaimer we moseyed to open field on the Calhoun side of the park for:

    Warm Up

    • Forward Arm Circles X 20 IC
    • Imperial Walkers X 20 IC
    • Reverse Arm Circles X 20 IC
    • Hillbillies X 20 IC

    Next we moseyed to Row Fitness Area

    Split into 5 Groups

    • Group 1 Catalina Wine-Mixers X 10 as the Count
    • Peter Parkers
    • Lunges
    • Parker Peters
    • Rows

    Next we…Double-backed, WHAT?, surely we were going to make the Audubon loop it’s a Monday after all.  Those PAX don’t know YHC and his general distaste of running; body-weight exercises is my JAM.  So back to the Shelter!  Through the normal shortcut route hugging the lagoon which apparently is now a construction area.  Careful running through this Men at Work zone PAX.  Can I interest anyone in a Vegamite sandwich?  Maybe after the beat down.  Think about it…

    Anyway, we finally hit our destination after much ducking and diving, but no diving ducks too dry for them.  Did I mention I like body-weight exercises?  Specifically merkins, so MERKIN MANIA it is:

    8 different merkins all done 5 count OYO as fast as you can.  On the menu:

    • Diamond Merkins
    • Merkins (the classic, it never goes out of style)
    • Staggered Merks Right
    • Staggered Merks Left
    • Wide-Arm Merks
    • Crucible Merks (these were fun)
    • Hand-Release Merks
    • Tempo Merks (why did I save these for last?)

    Next up at the Shelter, let’s get some leg work in PAX:

    • Right Leg Power Ups X15 IC
    • Dips X15 IC (Wait Dips aren’t leg work, just go with it)
    • Left Leg Power Ups X15 IC
    • Dips X 15 IC (Again?)
    • Right Leg Bulgarian Split Squats X 15 IC
    • Left Leg Bulgarian Split Squats X15 IC

    Now we’re feeling good, so let’s mosey to…the Bandstand.  That was quick!  Let’s do some 11’s.  Grab a wall, step, another PAX’s shoulders for Mike Tyson’s on the lagoon side of the bandstand starting at 10 count then up and over the bandstand and run to the first light for 1 Monkey Humper.  Run back to the lagoon side for it all to start again decreasing/increasing.  You know the drill PAX!  For those who might be wondering, a Mike Tyson is you start in a merkin position with feet against a wall or step, you squat back as first move of exercise back to merkin position and then complete a merkin.  That’s one.  Those were fun, are we seeing a merkin theme here?

    Surely we’re done, we can see the Flag (or where the Flag should be) from here?  Well, we have 3 minutes left so let’s mosey to an open field, which used to be an open pond not that long ago, for one last CoP.  Let’s do Febreze!  A new one for me, here’s how it works.  Kinda like an AB version of Jack Webb with way more Air Presses.  PAX starts with 1 Big Boy Situp and then at the top of that sit up, hold feet up six inches and do 10 Air presses.  Back down for 2 Big Boy Situps and 20 Air Presses holding those feet up the whole time.  PAX made it up to 4 Big Boy Situps and 40 Air Presses until our time was up.  Great job PAX!

    Mosey back to Flag for:

    Seaman and his new dog!  We missed you at the beat down Seaman, but happy to see you and meet your new friend.

    Count-Off

    Name-O-Rama, we had one FNG who is an artist that paints scenes of live music shows.  Think Frenchy.  What a cool gig!  After much mumblechatter, Splatter is the name.  Welcome to the PAX, Splatter!  And thanks to Brown Bag for EHing.

    Announcements

    Intentions

    Prayer

    Thanks to all the PAX for letting me lead today.  It’s truly an honor!

  • 86 Don’t Count

    Balmy spring morning at Audubon park, birds were singing and squirrels were chirping….

    Start off with the disclaimer of me not being any kind of professional and that I don’t count.  Then a mosey to the right on the track to the first running man, painted on the track, then we preformed the following:

    1-5 running men 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 burpees

    6-10 running men 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 low slow jumping squats

    11-15 running men 50, 40, 30, 20, 10 lbcs

    16-20 running men jack webs 10, 8, 6, 4, 2

    21-25 running men Nolan Ryans 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 (each side)

    Then mosey to the benches dividing into 4 groups of 5:

    Group 1 20 count derkins (the count)

    Group 2 alternating step ups

    Group 3 dips

    Group 4 decline shoulder taps

    Prisoner run to the water fountain then performed:

    Global warming holding a squat position as the circle does 5 burpees

    Indian run to the pull up bars and divided into 4 groups of 5:

    Group 1 10 pull ups (the count)

    Group 2 jumping lunges

    Group 3 crossfit merkins

    Group 4 lbts

    Fast mosey to the flag and 5 additional burpees for RY, who requested them.

    Count off, name-o-rama and prayer.

     

    Thank you for letting me Q and putting up with my inability to count,

     

    86

     

     

  • Minute Merkins are Harder Than I Thought

    A Pax of 6 arrived at the Uptowner for a morning of exercise without running. The usual disclaimer and off we go. The plan for today was Tabata with 60 seconds of exercise, and 10 seconds of rest. As it turns out, 60 seconds of exercise is harder than I thought.

    Warm-up COP:
    SSH x 20 IC
    Imperial Walkers x 20 IC
    Peter Parkers x 20 IC
    Low Slow Squats x 20 IC
    Windmills x 10 IC
    Arm Circles 20 Forward, 20 Backward
    Mountain Climbers x 20 IC

    We mosey 20 feet for the first Tabata:
    Merkins for 60 seconds, focus on form
    WWII Sit Ups for 60 seconds
    Planks for 60 seconds
    Squats for 60 seconds
    3 rounds total

    Grab a rock, a big rock
    Chest press for 60 seconds. At this point, I conceded that 60 seconds is a long time. So we went back to In Cadence.
    Curls x 10 IC
    Rows x 10 IC
    Repeat for 3 rounds.

    Circle up for some Mary.
    LBC’s x 20 IC
    Flutter Kicks x 20 IC
    American Hammer x 20 IC
    Crunchy Frogs x 20 IC
    Dying Cockroach x 20 IC
    Box Cutters x 20 IC

    We returned our rocks, and had just enough time for more exercise with a smaller rock.
    Biceps curls into shoulder press x 20 IC.

    Final circle for count-off, name-o-rama, announcements, intentions, and a prayer. Thank you for letting me lead.

    Walleye

  • A CSAUP Convergence in the Mud

    Well, the day was finally upon us. With a 50% chance of rain it was anybody’s guess what the weather would do. But when it’s called Tough Mudder, either way is good. The clown cars converged at NOLA Motor Park and the clowns met up just inside the official Tough Mudder grounds. The southshore boys called a last minute audible.With Fracsac having to pull out, Cowbell, was and easy EH to grab his spot. Speaking of last minute, YHC pulled up to the meeting spot to see that none other than the elusively nomadic Butt Splice had joined the party, having bought his ticket yesterday.

    Due to the race being 12 mud-filled miles long, not to mention this guy’s exhausted brain, I won’t list all the obstacles, but give a greatest hits and honorable mentions overview.

    Like ripping off a band aid, the 1st obstacle thrown at us was Kiss of Mud 2.o, involving an army crawl under barbed wire through the soupy mud. Butt Splice was fully submerged and in heaven!

    The Hero Carry obstacle (which was much easier the 1st time around) found us carrying our partner about 50 or so yards, then switching for the next 50. Strategically speaking we tried to match up size-wise with Steve/Tanked Up, Butt Splice/Gabrielle, Shooter/Walleye, Bushwacker/Ocho (had I only known this deceptively sized man was actually heavier than the solid Shooter, I might have chosen more wisely), and Reluctant Yankee/Cowbell. Jingle Vader paired up with a random to complete the obstacle.

    Much better acquainted, the fun continued.

    Somewhere along the way, we chanced on a solo mudder who by some stoke of good fortune joined our  regal ranks on this muddy mission. This bald bruiser (sorry the alliteration is addictive) was visiting Nawlins with his lovely wife (who was a loyal spectator) from Chattanooga, TN. An easy Eh and a great F3 fit to round the crew out at 12.

    There were more muddy water-filled pits, walls, hay bales, nets and unpredictable terrain in store for our daring band of F3 brothers. The course lent itself to some quality mumble chatter that added to the intrinsic appreciation of the experience. Speaking of mumble chatter, between Gabrielle and Ocho’s slew of  salacious interactions with random members of the fairer sex, I’m surprised we didn’t walk away from the course with our own fan club. Or better yet, a new cadre of FIA recruits!

    Not that we didn’t all have an appreciation for the females we ran into. A bunch of us made a new friend in a medical assistant at the Trench Warfare obstacle when we gave her a big F3 group hug, sharing all the muddy goodness we had to offer…especially Ocho.

    There were back busting back flips and reverse swan dives at the Shawshank obstacle. This one was quite refreshing!

    At Everest 2.0 we joined the waiting crowd in an attempt to scale the slick quarter pipe and, with the assistance of the previous victors, to mount the 15′ summit. In an attempt to get up quickly and help some folks, F3 and otherwise, YHC skirted the waiting onlookers and made a few unsuccessful shots at the top. In between tries, many, especially the tall gents, were making it look like child’s play. I returned to the fold to find Ocho back on the ground after having already made the ascent. Butt Splice had inadvertently pulled him back down as he tried, in vain, to make it up. With the brilliant Walleye extending his lengthy arms towards the next contestants, the guys one by one made it up. After an embarrassingly  high number of failed tries, this now bruised and battered Q joined his comrades in victory.

    Anyone who knows anything about the tough mudder knows that that one of the most anticipated , and feared, obstacles is the Electroshock! While most of us caught a shock or 2, poor Shooter, who had almost made it through with only 1 zap, took a shot that rung his bell. Being St.Patty’s day, the luck of the Irish must have been shining on Steve, Reluctant Yankee and Jingle Vader (hope I got that right), because they got through scott free. We were all entertained as we prepared to move on by a bald, hardcore ranter who got tagged in the face and many other places as he worked his way through – SON OF A BITCH!

    At the last obstacle, Happy Ending, we ran into fellow F3 Saxon who, along with Jesse from Chattanooga, Ocho, and Butt Splice, formed the base and extension of our human ladder that helped a lot of recently rinsed fools get to the top. Eventually we retrieved our magnanimous brothers and slid down the other side to cross the finish line, arms locked.

    As we gathered post-race with out victory beers (and recovery drinks) in hand to close out with a COT, we were in a unique and enviable position to name an out-of-state FNG. Welcome Big Easy to the F3 Nation! We hope he returns to Chattanooga and hits up one of the 5 area posts up that way. Thanks to Butt Splice for his emotionally aroused prayer to take us out.

    Gentlemen, despite some bumps and bruises this was an extraordinary adventure, and I am blessed to have taken the journey with each of you. Many thanks for following my lead to the starting line today.

  • Oops, it’s me again.

    It’s been gloomy this week.  A good resbit before the Turkish steam bath that is soon to arrive.  QHC sees a lonely silhouette of a PAX ready to go.  It’s Hand-Grenada, our FNG from Monday gratis Walleye.  He’s nervously peering into the chasm for the pumping station into Pontiff.  It’s scary business.  But not nearly as scary as when QHC asked who’s today’s Q and was told he was!  Actually, that doesn’t frighten QHC any more.  I just hope my on-the-cuff DownPainMents aren’t too dull, whiskey-dick-ish (TClaps to Tool for the vocab drills) or repetitive.  So with an opportunity for a real Disclaimer (because a professional trainer would know he’s up), the PAX is off–for a distance of about twelve feet.

    COP1:

    • SSHs ICx20
    • Inchworm (gratis YSR at the Birdcage this week) ICx10
    • Moroccan Casbah (gratis The Rev from about a year ago or so) [squat while twisting arms] ICx20
    • Mountain Climbers ICx20

    The PAX gets two rocks: big and bigger for COP2:

    • Overhead press ICx20
    • Curls ICx20
    • Nape scratchers (tricep lifts) ICx20
    • Rows ICx20
    • Bench press on our 6s ICx20
    • Low slow squats ICx20

    Rinse and repeat, but with ICx15 (and regular squats instead of LSS); rinse and repeat again, but with ICx10 (again regular squats instead of LLS); then rinse and repeat again–kinda:

    • Overhead press ICx5 (but real slow, 20 count, for #5)
    • Curls ICx5
    • Nape scratchers ICxG (but real slow, 20 count, for #5)
    • Rows ICx5
    • Bench press ICx5 (hold last for 20 count)
    • Low slow squats (for a total of 25 LLS and 25 regular squats) ICx5

    Time for some relaxing at the wall:

    • People’s chair for a long-ass time, with overheads ICx10 and curls ICx10 and sitting some more
    • Rest oh so briefly
    • People’s chair again for not at long: overheads ICx10, curls ICx10, hold rock out 30 seconds.

    Mosey back (10 feet) for Circle of Mary:

    • Flutter kicks with rocks ICx20
    • LBTs ICx20
    • Hello Dollys with rocks ICx20
    • Penguins ICx20
    • Rosalitas with rocks ICx20
    • WWII situps ICx20
    • Russian twists with rocks ICx20
    • LCBs with rocks ICx20

    And it’s 6:15.  Countoff, Name-o-Rama, Shout Outs and closing prayer from HVAC.  Tclaps to Hand-Grenada for two posts in his first week.  Jingle Vader

  • The 40, Part 4

    Its Okwata Time. That means its Levee time. 40 times.

    11 PAX gathered around the shovel flag this morning in the dark gloom. Alas, no glorious sunrise over the waters of Okwata. The PAX will have to wait several weeks for the morning light to appear during the workouts again. Until then, just gloomy gloom. The PAX welcomed the visitor – Schottenheimer from Cleveland. Thanks for coming out to join us!

    At 5:30, YHC pronounced the disclaimer and so we began.

    First, Mosey 10 yards to the flag (from all the way across the sidewalk). Circle up for warmup, sprinkled with mumble chatter.

    • SSH x25
    • Abe Vigoda x10
    • IW x25

    Then off to the base of the Levee.

    By now, the PAX know the drill.  10 exercises.  4 Sets of each exercise.  10 reps per set.  Back and forth over the Levee for each set.  That equals (do the math….) 40 trips over the levee.

    1. Cross Fit Merkins: Oh, the grass is cold.  And wet.
    2. Box Cutters: Out-Up-In-Down half the time, Up-Out-Down-In the other half.  Shorty finally realizes there’s a difference.
    3. 4-Count Lunges: Triple Shift appears to have mixed signals and went for the 20 reps of 4 count lunges.
    4. Derkins: a new wrinkle – stop half-way down the levee for the exercise.  Slip and Slide trying to stop
    5. Dying Cockroach: Frac rightly points out that Roaches crawl, forcing a clarification from YHC that we were doing the Dying variety.  On our backs.
    6. Bobby Hurley: OK, YHC certainly felt this when running up the hill.
    7. Irkins: stop half-way up the levee for the exercise.
    8. Monkey Humpers: I thought the Bobby Hurley burned….
    9. Hello Dolly: I think that just maybe I saw Mahatma break a sweat.
    10. Burpees: The crowning glory, as Tool was lamenting the lack of burpees in the workout.

    Finished up at 6:08.  We are getting better at this.  That meant we had time for more!  Quadrophelia!  Up to the top of the levee, so we can run forwards-down and backwards-up (i.e., always look to the lake) for 4 minutes.

    Back to the flag with a minute to spare.  Time for LBC x40.

    Finish up with Count-off and Name-o-rama.  Intentions, then close with prayers.  Psalm 40, a song of praise.

    I waited patiently for the Lord;
        he turned to me and heard my cry.
    He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
        out of the mud and mire;
    he set my feet on a rock
        and gave me a firm place to stand.
    He put a new song in my mouth,
        a hymn of praise to our God.
    Many will see and fear the Lord
        and put their trust in him.

    Thanks for letting me lead!

  • The Q needs a flashlight and directions

    The only thing worse than posting at 5:30am to workout is posting at 5:30am on the Monday after Daylight Savings Time. I should have checked on that before asking Hawg to let me Q for the first time. Hawg did make my morning by arriving with the flag just before we started to get going. I think this was the 3rd or 4th time I’ve seen the elusive F3 flag.

    Disclaimer and then mosey to the rocks.

    The cadence was shaky but we did:

    – SSH x 20

    – Peter Parkers x 30

    – Imperial Walkers x 20

    – Propellers x 22 (11 each direction)

    -Hillbillies x 20

    We grabbed our rocks for some classic rock city exercises with more of my shaky cadence:

    Shoulder Press x 15

    Curls for the Girls x 15

    Rows x 20

    Low, Slow Squats x 30

    We moseyed over to the playground equipment for a 4 part rotation exercise. I needed a little help along the way to locate both the swings and later to the hill. It turns out that working out in the dark doesn’t help me know how Pontiff Park is laid out.

    Our rotation workout:

    Elf on the Shelf with a rock for a 10 count while we rotated between elf, underdogs, dips, and mercins.

    After playing around under the swings, we took our rocks to the hill for elevens. It was 10 bench presses with the rock on one side of the hill and 1 burpee on the other to start.

    We ended with Mary:

    American Hammer x 15

    Penguin x 20

    Dying Cockroach x 15

    LBC x 15

    We dropped off our rocks and moseyed back to the flag. I got us there one minute early and was threatened to put shame upon my family name for finishing at 6:14, so we did Freddie Mercury for one minute.

    Count off, namerama, announcements, and a prayer.

    I led. I survived. I am now a man.