F3 New Orleans

Tag: Superfun(d)

  • Battle of the Ages – from Cardinal

    YHC found himself the victim of guerrilla warfare. An unknown PAX threw YHC’s name on the Q sheet unbeknownst to him (there was verbal chatter about taking said Q, admittedly). But always ready to face a challenge, a beatdown was put together. The chatter on the GroupMe focused on the wide age difference between the old fogeys and the young bucks, so a “battle of the ages” was crafted to settle the debate.

    Warmup of the usual fare kicked us off (SSH, WM, IW, FAC/BAC/CP, SL).

    Thang 1 was a celebration of a recent 21st birthday among the PAX (T-claps to French Horn, who was only at “hc” status and thus nowhere to be found). We started with 3 rounds of 21s – first round was high knees, second round was grass grabbers with the clap, and third round was Bobby Hurley’s. YHC had not even thought of a penalty because he was so confident that the PAX could count to 21 with ease. However, that proved not to be the case. EVERY SINGLE ROUND was failed by at least one of the PAX (although the first round may have been intentionally sabotaged by GiGi). A hastily created penalty was a lap around the Civic Center. They say education is bad in Louisiana….and YHC can confirm that.

    Thang 2 was an homage to two of the greatest hits when these 40+ fogeys were in their prime – Thunderstruck and No Scrubs (which was at the top of multiple lists YHC found while researching, despite a near unanimous disdain for the song). Thunderstruck was a simple burpee on “Thunder”, and No Scrubs was holding Al Gore while doing a jump at each “no” (which was a lot).

    Thank 3 closed us out with the triumph of the greatest generation – the Millennial. It involved 10 rounds of 100 reps each, with a 100m mosey in between each round (thus adding up to 2000 total reps/meters). However, due to YHC’s poor time calculations, we only got through 6 rounds before we had to call it – SSH, LBCs, Merkins, Lunges, Oblique Crunches, and Mountain Climbers. YHC noticed the total silence during this entire thang – until Goose started his oblique crunches, which garnered widespread admiration at the form and technique. Comparisons were made to drilling for oil as well as cattle roping. Make of that what you will.

    Dox prayed us out after COT and some announcements about the second annual SV500 – supporting a great charity in the Houma-Thibodaux area next month. Check us out and sign up! https://f3thibodaux.regfox.com/the-st-vincent-500-2023

    Always a blessing gentlemen. Might be some more Cardinal Q’s on the horizon.

    SYITG

    Cardinal

  • Run to the Father – from Paradox

    9 strong at the stage and ya know dat bayou summer is in full swing when it’s a balmy 81 before you even slip on your mudgears. YHC rolled back in (after forgetting JBL on the charger) to a steadily growing group of Pax bolstered by a fresh wave of our seminarian Pax getting back in dat action.
    The promises had been free flowing in the preBlast groupme with commitments of all shapes and sizes. Hopeful commits, repeat HC fartsack offenders, cardinal fanning flames, Even a brand new “FC”. That’s a frog commit, when pickleball says Jump , you say how high?
    Ya really really hate to see it but we pushed forward.

    Duke! run back home and get the footage. Your still a good boy!

    Warmup
    A respectable set of the usuals with extra care for the lower back.
    The newest fad injury in F3 Thib is a tight back (although YJ will say he’s been doing it before it was mainstream) and after getting nuked by the diddle list on Saturday we all needed some careful grass grabbers.

    The Thang

    YHC decided that directly after Fathers day was a good time to cover the parable of the prodigal son. So many perspectives to reflect on from this amazing parable but today YHC wanted to focus on the contrasting emotions and inner turmoil of the father/son. YHC Just needed a good canvas for this medium and during a recent downRange vacation post YHC was introduced to the total brutality of a Jack Webb medley (shout out to HouseCall). It felt like a great way to express the conflicting inner emotions of the parable all while pondering if Thibodaux has any oxygen in the atmosphere.

    First we had to take the inheritance and run away. We formed up in a Indian run with a last man Drop off – 10 Carolina dry docks facing away , see your family getting farther away.
    We jammed to Ghetto Cowboy while we counted our inheritance cash followed by a choice Goose selection of Ford Econoline and all was right in the world…

    Feeling pretty good about ourselves with endless money we stopped for Jack Webb #1
    Merkins and Air Raises up to 10/20
    The son beats his chest while the father prays “why?”

    We moseyed on starting to feel the strain of responsibility but still depending on ourselves we ditched our van and set out on foot looking for love in all the wrong places.
    100ish yard Lunge to DJ Snake/Bieber “Just let me Love You “
    Are you a Beliber now Cardinal ?

    We continued forward in a Jello Mosey
    There is now a famine in the land, times are tough. But the son still depends on himself.
    We headed for the pig pen to get in the slop. (Perfectly placed port o potty)

    Jack Webb #2
    Captain Thor
    BBSU/American Hammers (3 count)
    The son is pulling himself up (BBSU) while the father continues wrestling with his absence (hammers)

    Time to Run Home
    No money
    No love
    No friends
    Deep in the slop just hoping for a bite of the pig food.
    The crucial moment of uncertainty. I will return to be my fathers servant , but will he accept me ?

    Air Squats/Mountain climbers
    1 squat and 2 MC to depict the son running to the Father who was not only waiting but fervently seeking him daily.

    Run Back home w guidance
    Pair up and one pax run while guiding is partner in Nur.

    Back Home
    Song
    – Run to the Father -Matt Maher
    We held Tipper Gores on the song (atleast initially) with jump tuck on Run and Merkins on Again.
    Legs got reallll wobbly.

    Animal shirt awarded to Goldilocks! Back to back posts and this man is in pretty good shape if you are taking notes at home. Stay golden brother.

    COT and Diddle prayed us out

    Great effort across the board and awesome to have Goldilocks and Econoline in the mix. Grateful to be alongside you men today and always a privilege to lead.

    YHC is often reminded of the repetitive nature of the “returning to the Father “ portion of this parable. So easy to get bogged down the moment we return to the ole pig pen especially when you have been there sooo much the pigs know you by name. But there is such deep consolation of knowing that even as we tire in repetitive sin our Fathers endless mercy is always waiting.

    SYITG
    Paradox

  • The Fat Boy Food Adventure – from Smooth Operator

    Participants: paradox, Enron, superfund, FNG (Michelin), Yankee Joe, Paradiddle, Goose, Smooth Operator

    I pulled up to the Lions Den at 0455 to find a FNG sitting in his truck. It looks like he had been there for quite some time and was ready to get his first F3 experience going.

    After that Enron pulled up and started giving us the synopsis of his Mexico City trip. He went on a guys trip and apparently ate at one of the best restaurants in the world, but for some reason either the restaurant or all of Mexico does not do Michelin stars. This brought us to another interesting topic, the Michelin star program is put on by the same people who sell tires. You learn something new everyday.

    At 0515 we had 7 eager adventurers rocking out to YHC’s musical fanny pack, and ready to overcome whatever craziness that YHC had planned for the PAX.

    We started with SSH and Goose gave the F3 disclaimer. After this we did windmills, arm circles cherry pickers, high knees, butt kicks, and mountain climbers. Somewhere in the middle of this Paradiddle snuck in probably saying something about a train or stomach issues or being busy making a list as reasons for his tardiness. Either way this dude is always ready to roll on minimal warm ups.

    The thang

    After this it was time to talk about our adventure. Two things you need to know about YHC. Even though I lost a little bit of weight YHC is still a certified fat boy. It has nothing to do with F3 which has done great things for me but it kind of hard to outwork the fork when you spend most days eating like crap. It’s something I got to work on and I will, but first I figured let’s have fun with it. Secondly through the last couple monthly challenges YHC has learn that I like to ruck and am not a big fan of long distance running which seems to be involved in the majority of our beatdowns. So I figured let’s combine these two things and let’s see what happens. This is how YHC came up with the Fat Boy Food Adventure.

    The Fat Boy Food Adventure basically goes like this, the PAX would carry our coupons in whatever manner possible to various locations visiting some of YHC’s favorite restaurants in the area. The only time we would need to put the coupons down is to perform some manner of exercise that would almost always be more taxing on the body than rucking. Our mode of transport would be an Indian ruck with the last person dropping off to do a couple man makers and hustled to the front of the line. We started with 5 man makers and eventually went down to 3 then 1 as our journey got more difficult and time started to become a factor.

    First things first, we started our journey at the flag with 25 man makers which seemed to be a big hit with the PAX. From here we headed up the reservoir and across the bridge to the parking lot of 5 guys burger joint all the while jamming out to some southern and classic rock complemented by a couple of Spotify ads.

    At 5 guys, we did 25 coupon curls and 25 Chuck Norris merkins and discussed there delicious burgers, cajun fries, and YHC’s personal favorite their bacon flavored milk shake. It was nice to put a-little sweat equity down as payment for the next time YHC goes there to shovel down some more greasy food. After this, we continued our journey across the slightly less deserted parking lot of Rouses to our next work out location. After everyone completed 5 man makers YHC dropped it down to 3 due to the doozy of a work out coming next.

    Our next stop was across the large parking lot of Rouses heading up LA 308 where a car was parked conveniently about 30 to 40 yards away. YHC decided this would be our stopping point for some parking lot suicides.
    Half the PAX would be doing suicides while the other half completed 25 coupon squats and then we switched.
    The suicides were pretty straight forward, touch the closest yellow line and head back to the curb hitting every line until you reached the car.

    After this we headed to another great restaurant Big Mikes BBQ. You could smell the meat smoking as we reached the parking lot for another exercise. The exercise was 25 world war 2 sit ups and some bear crawl suicides. Once we started doing sit-ups YHC realized that we would not be able to complete the entire exercise as planned so YHC started cutting it down to make it back to the flag for 0600. So YHC deferred the bear crawl till Part 2 and we continued our ruck.

    The Pax started rucking down the road passing in front of Anytime fitness, the dog park and hustled up the reservoir levee. We stopped near the bridge intersection and performed 15 coupon swing which may have disrupted a couple of curious reservoir walkers on accident.

    From here we headed to the Civic center HVAC system to do our next exercise. At the Back corner of the Civic center we did 15 tricep curls and headed back to the flag to complete our last leg of the ruck.

    Once at the flag with a couple minutes to spare the PAX completed 25 more world war 2 sit ups, 25 PAX approved star jumps, and Apollo onos AMRAP for a couple minutes as 0600 was approaching quickly.

    We finished up with COT and named our new FNG Michelin due to our pre beatdown conversations and the fact that he is a trained chef. Paradox passed the distinguished ANIMAL shirt to a well deserving Superfund. Enron prayed us out as a muffler-less vehicle decided to make its presence known.

    Thanks to all the PAX who came out and decided to embark on this adventure. Without y’all always pushing YHC to the limit, I would still be a sad clown sitting on the sideline.

    SYITG

    Smooth Operator

    Part 2 coming to the Lion’s Den soon

  • Try Athletes – from Paradox

    Does anyone else have an item on your bucket list that looks wayyyy better on paper and in your head than in reality.
    YHCs has always been the triathlon.
    The conversation goes something like this :

    12 year old YHC brain:
    bruhhhh Conquering multiple elements of human locomotion in a variety of terrains, an ultimate test. You are literally an amphibious machine. Cross that finish line while everyone cheers your name. The ladies will be lined up. This is your life’s greatest work.

    35 year old YHC brain:
    bro , chill, you get the heeby jeebies from swimming in deep water, biking always hurts your back, and your feet cramp after a two mile run. If you keep taking ibuprofen you will get an ulcer. Check yourself before you shipwreck yourself.

    And so on just like that for decades.
    But no more!
    Today we put the triathlon to bed once and for all…as a team!

    Duke put down those electrolyte gummies and roll the footage.

    12 pax beat the gloom on a beautiful summer morning at the Peltch. YHC rolled in a touch early to plant a few seeds and then met up with a growing prethang Saturday crew of Horn, Diddle and Ronnie. With a steady pace we covered topics ranging from Cardinals secret beach workouts to Horns new longboard interest group and melted away a few miles in the process. Please text YJ for all prethang details if you are interested (there’s an application and he needs to know your long term intentions and previous prethang relationship history)

    Several more pax trickled in and we had a rock solid group ready to race.

    Warmup
    Started with a ear splitting cadence of 36 SSH to honor the bday of our resident beast Enron. Full back blast sarcasm aside here, Ronnie is a cornerstone of our pax , always exhibiting a tenacious spirit and has really progressed into a force to be reckoned with physically.
    Enjoy those well earned bday jucifers brother!

    We got back into a steady warmup when YHC heard a verbal altercation brewing.
    At only 2 minutes and 39 seconds into the beatdown Sheriff Deputy of Form Yankee Joseph found his first citation. Does proper form have an age limit? not for this deputy. There is no jurisdiction when someone does a half Side straddle. He is the Law.
    Little did he know the young Coyote is highly skilled in verbal jiuJitsu and in seconds had YJ questioning his entire form police career and presenting badge and gun to Goose.
    The dust settled and a Donnybrook was avoided , Goose threatened to hose us and we moved on.

    Indian run
    Classic Sea Shanty run
    Last man Drop off 5 diamonds merkins
    We ran to tennis court for two songs to set the mood.

    Da Tanggggg

    Part 1 : Swim
    Open Ocean Jam session

    Baby Shark
    YHC set the mood with this dark and foreboding tail.
    Burpee on Shark
    SSH on song
    On about the 3rd burpee we had our first casualty as the baby shark was clearly targeting the elderly blood in the water. Further investigation underway to see if a banana peel from Coyote was the murder weapon. (But seriously rest up Jeaux, the team needs you)

    Under the Sea
    Side shuffle
    Bobby Hurley on Sea
    This one got warm pretty fast and begin to set the stage for further cardio testing.

    Buddy System
    Partner up
    Both complete 20 2 is 1 flutter kicks sprint to tennis ball bucket. Ten merkins at tennis’s ball and sprint back. (About 50 yards away)
    We all ended up with 6 tennis balls per couple but Cuz did some weird Yee Yee math and said 5 so he and partner Frankenbeans took penalty burpees.

    Part 2 : Bike
    Indian Run #2
    We hit the road in search of our bikes.
    As we crossed the ditch Horn kept us entertained with a rendition of I believe I can Fly
    He ate that dirt sandwich with a smile on his face and a song in his heart. You can’t keep a good man down.

    Last man drop off for 5 2 is 1 Freddy mercuries.
    Frankenbeanz succumbed to a leg injury halfway through and YHC deployed Horn on a life raft to check in on the growing IR list.

    Bicycle Song at Tennis court
    Freddy mercuries on bicycle
    Leg raises on other parts
    Superfun(d) began to question the amount of sugar YHC had in his cereal.

    Part 3: Run

    Tennis Ball Suicide relay
    Split into two teams
    Must run full suicide to the bucket , get tennis ball
    Full suicide back to secure tennis ball at home base
    Team with most balls wins

    Back to the flag for a little Mary

    WetTap awarded the GiGi to Coyote for his resistance to the form police. I know Coyote is already busting merkins so he can look jacked in the GiGi next Sat.
    SuperFun(d) sent the Animal back to its originator as Goose continues to pound out 4000 Bonnie Blair’s and big boys per beatdown.

    COT and WetTap prayed us out

    NMM

    YHC is an over-analyzer by nature. If you lay out 20 reps of an exercise in front of me my brain says “ok 5 slowish, 10 regular then just kinda bob around till someone else stops. Full self preservation mode. Yet some of my favorite moments in F3 happen when the beatdown overrides the system. The intensity is cranked, sweat in your eyes, minimal mental processing, just you and your team stuck solidly in the present. One tennis ball at a time till there are no more.

    You can Try for yourself
    Try for individual gains
    Try for self recognition
    And you will feel good temporarily.
    But hidden in the secret sauce of F3 is the Try for others while the “Me” takes a back seat.

    Grateful for the men of F3 as we make each other a little stronger each day.

    SYITG
    Dox

  • Tuesday Tough, Mostly – from Goose

    YHC pulled into a crowded parking lot for a Tuesday after making a quick loop around the new lot across the street, which caused the loitering PAX much consternation and fearful curiosity. But, it was unfounded–YHC was only scouting for a usable stretch of street for the first Thang.

    During the first part of the warmup, YHC was again faced with the weak, quiet cadence counting that tends to characterize the Thibodaux PAX. This weakness in an otherwise perfect PAX rears its ugly head especially when downrangers are with us–the confused outsider counts loud and proud while only about 2 or 3 locals eek out a barely audible, inaccurate count between Paradox and Yankee Joe’s comments about Tana’s hair. So, YHC shared his shame this morning, assuming the Tuesday Tough PAX would receive the blow with rock hard abs, but, alas, it was not so. You would have thought YHC had pulled out a ruler and was coming after their nether regions. All downrangers were immediately condemned and banned from future beatdowns, and warmup counts for the next two weeks are guaranteed to be a combination of both overly loud and overly quiet with side plots to overthrow the count-shamer. Well, so be it. At least we’re not overly schism prone–we should get through this no problem.

    The first Thang was supposed to be a quick Bleep Test over by the bumper area, and as the PAX planked up while YHC and Pope set it up, YHC noticed that it seemed a little farther of a distance than usual. The typical bleep test consists of two lines a set distance apart, and you run from one to the other at the sound of a beep–you have to arrive before the next one because it signals the start of the return trip. So, you’re running across at every beep, and if you don’t make it before the next one, you have one more try before you’re “out”. Originally, YHC thought the distance was 40 meters (34 yards), and set it up that way, but after the first beep, it became very clear that YHC was woefully mistaken. Literally nobody made it. So, thanks to the invention of the internet, YHC was able to double check and saw that the official distance is actually 20 meters. This thew off the idea that we would be driven to finish at least 40 laps to make a full mile, but half a mile or so would have to suffice.
    These men were no less tenacious, though, and YHC found himself challenged by a PAX that hung in there way longer than in previous beatdowns. As the time between beeps continued to shorten, YHC settled into what would clearly be some long-suffering. After about 40 laps, more and more PAX started dropping off, but we made a rule that you could buy your way back in with 20 monkey humpers, so as Paradiddle, Pope, and YHC tried to outlast each other, PAX with refreshed(ish) legs kept jumping back into the mix, pushing us to drive harder. It was quite the mental challenge, but all said and done, we completed about 54 laps, which is by far the highest we’ve done yet. Super impressed and grateful for this crew!

    With about 15 minutes left, YHC had three songs and three core bombs to deliver. The first was “Walking on the Moon” by the Police during which we’d be on our sixes holding feet at six inches, with a big, slow flutter kick at every “walking”. This is a five minute song, so I gave the PAX a chance to end early by guessing the artist–after some work, they got it, and YHC was happy to stop after about three minutes.
    The second song was “Ooh, Baby Baby” by Smokey Robinson. We held static LBC position (crunched up) for the duration, and dropped down and back up with every “baby”. This was a first for YHC, and it really worked–we’ll definitely be seeing this again.
    The third was “Keep on Rockin’ Me Baby” by The Steve Miller Band–held static wife pleaser position (hip bridge up) for the duration, and down and back up for every “rockin’”. This was a killer, too–definitely worth repeating.

    With about 8 minutes left, we finished everyone’s mile by running three laps around the track (thanks, Paradox, for the push!), which left us with about five minutes for Mary. We started with Hello Dolly’s, and YHC’s goal was to keep going until Yankee was no longer able to sustain his high-energy counting. It was a nice distraction, but all distractions ultimately fail against increasing fatigue, so we made it to about 34 (2:1). We filled the last 4 minutes with as many Big Boys as possible. This sparked what YHC deemed the best mumblechatter line of the morning: YJ had brought his new F3 Broga mat and was pulling it out when Paradox commandeered it for group usage the way we’ve been doing with YHC’s for the past week. A mat that big is wasted on just one, so Dox and I assumed the three-man-butt-saver position, leaving a sliver for YJ, which led him to share that he felt “like the kid who brought a new toy to recess only to have the big kids take it away.” Shared suffering, bro. That’s how it goes.

    COT and the Animal shirt went to Superfun(d) (first time recipient) for his silent doggedness through the morning’s grind. Announcements and the typical accusations of exclusivity followed, and Paradiddle prayed us out.

    It was awesome to push through this morning with these guys, especially having Lil’ Cuz and Superfun(d) back in the mix, and Paradiddle posting three morning’s in a row! It’s amazing how the presence of each unique man makes such a huge difference–don’t think you’re not missed when you’re not there! You know how it feels to look around the circle at each guy with gratitude that they’re there–it’s no different when we look at you! So get there!

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • History Lesson, by Coyote – from Goose

    If you think about a specific day, you might think, “It’s this person’s birthday,” or, “Dang it it’s tax day.” If you go on google and look up a day like that, you will then think, “This is the day that everything happened.” That was what YHC thought when YHC looked up April 15th. The Pax and YHC started the warmups, we did the normal exercises, Side straddle hops, Imperial walkers, Windmills, that kind of stuff, then we moseyed to the Titanic (The playground, also today is the day the Titanic sunk) and sailed away while jamming out to “Come Sail Away” while doing Imperial walkers and when we heard “sail away” we instinctively shot the basketball like Bobby Hurly, then we hit the iceberg and we started climbing the ladders like Goofballs, and when we were done doing that, we raced and wrestled to get to the highest part of the ship, then the lifeboats. Sadly, Superfun(d) fell and had to start swimming like Scuba Steve. We did it again and we lost our Paradox. Today is also when the great Notre Dame cathedral caught on fire, so we ran from the sinking Titanic to the Thunderdome where we where surrounded by a ring of fire while doing flying buttresses (merkin and airplane) and laying down making the steeple fall down with six inch holds and leg raises. We ran from the burning cathedral to join the Boston Marathon, (today was the bombing of the Boston Marathon). We saw the bombs, they exploded, so we got in pairs and broke out in BOMBS. One runner ran a hundred meters and back, then the two partners switched places. It went on like this for fifty burpees, one hundred overhead presses, one hundred monkey humpers, one hundred big boy sit-ups, and one hundred side straddle hops. Smooth Operater had his two 2.0s. By the time everybody was done, he was dragging the wagon and doing monkey humpers, so we helped out on the sit-ups, straddle hops, and running. While we were hammering out those, Redfish was lying on the ground resting. With all the help, we finished pretty quickly. I then mentioned that today, ninety-four people died in a soccer stampede, so we ran around the track twice, and at each goal post, we would get trampled and do ten hand-release merkins, trying to get back up but getting knocked back to the ground. We moseyed back to the flag and did some eight minute Mary. YCH let the entire circle choose an exercise to do. After that, it was count off and name off, we congratulated Tractor for his fourth birthday, Cardinal forgot the Animal shirt, and the tank top was given to WetTap, and YHC did the cooldowns alone today. This has been history lessons with Coyote.

  • The Ab Ladder – from Enron

    YHC pulled up to The Stage at 5:05 with nervous anticipation for what was to come on this chilly Tuesday. There were no hard commits on the GroupMe from the night prior, so attendance was an all-out guess. In previous talks with a couple members of the PAX, a discussion had come up that an all core/ab-work beatdown has not been done lately, if ever, with the Thibodaux PAX. Therefore, YHC felt a calling to create something that would address this challenge, and from there the “ab ladder” was born. The waiting game for the remaining PAX to arrive had YHC second guessing if today’s plans may be too Tuff for Tuesday Tuff, but it was too late to make any adjustments. Even though his M, a nurse and previous kinesiology major, confirmed the abdominal intensity may just be a bit much. This came after she rolled her eyes from seeing the kid’s easel being stolen for beatdown creation…. again. Slowly the group started to arrive, not letting the colder than usual morning deter them from their fate of stomach hurting sneezes, laughs, and all-around torso pain. 3 men ready to roll arrived and circled up to start.

    As a great author once wrote. Duke, roll that beautiful bean footage:

    Warmup: SSH, IW, Windmills, Willie Mays Hayes, AC, Cherry Pickers, Self-Love – most with a cadence that was longer than normal due to the attempt to delay the inevitable.

    Thang 1: Just a regular mile run – this was originally going to be a “core work” mile with stops every quarter mile to partake in different forms of ab exercises, but with the prior concern of overexertion on abs, “we just started run-n”. YHC enjoyed the ability to partake in some chatter with the PAX instead of the usual sucking of wind by the second half of the mile.

    Thang 2: The Ab Ladder (all exercises were written on an easel for reference as the thang progressed) each exercise was completed in order, adding the next to the list each round after completing a lap around the stage (about 0.1 of a mile)

    5 – Merkins
    10 – BBSU
    15 – Pickle Pounders
    20- J-Lo’s
    25 – Leg Raises (as Tana and Superfun(d) made clear, these were the beginning to the end of the fun)
    30 – Penguins (1=1)
    35 – Freddie Mercuries (2=1)
    40- LBCs
    45- Flutter Kicks (2=1)
    50 seconds of 6 inch hold (the PAX was just short of getting to this one before time was called)

    COT and Tana prayed us out. It was a great morning in the gloom and YHC is so thankful to be surrounded by such an amazing group of men.

    SYITG,

    Enron

  • Hit ‘Dem Commitments! – from Goose

    A number of the PAX were with their wives on a married couples’ retreat with YHC over the weekend at Lumen Christi, and the rest of the PAX were gracious enough to meet us there at 6am for the official Saturday beatdown. The morning had already started with a number of awesome surprises:
    1. Two of the non-F3 retreatants came out after seemingly no interest shown the day before, one of whom had driven down from St. Louis. YHC happened to pack the trophy F3 St. Louis shirt won during the 2022 Make America Burpee Again CSAUP, and I only remembered that it was in my bag when he showed up that morning. It was an awesome “coincidence”, and the newly minted “Photoshop” will now be properly attired when he posts back home.
    2. A tall, dark, hooded being crept up silently in the cold darkness and refused to answer requests for identification until YHC recognized him when he was only about 10 feet away. Enron was ready to jump the stranger, but his wide smile and goofy laugh revealed the last Cotter we expected to see that morning–it was Cutthroat! After from swearing off F3, hills, and anything non-crossfit, he couldn’t fight that feeling anymore, and he was ready to battle the snakes, ant piles, and elevation that only this AO could deliver.
    3. Ben Naquin, to be later named “Prius”, caved to his brother-in-law, Fence Post’s pressure to get busy livin’, and despite a helluva tough year including some new physical limitations, powered out an incredible first beatdown with tenacity and perseverance matched by few.

    The joy of the 12 PAX at such a great showing was palpable, and the warmup was executed with high energy–a lot of the usuals with no arms; YHC’s shoulder is still needing some rest, so it would be lots of legs and abs today!

    The theme that would carry us through the day was the same as the retreat: Domestic Church–particularly the 7 commitments each couple chooses to improve upon over the course of their journey: individual prayer, prayer with Scripture, couple prayer, family prayer, couple dialogue, rule of life, and an annual retreat.

    Started with a combined individual prayer/prayer with Scripture, which was represented by an Indian run around the campus with the last guy dropping off for three genuflections before sprinting to the front of the line. Just like individual prayer, you gotta break the rhythm of the day to stop what you’re doing and hit your knees–it’s not gonna happen on its own!

    We stopped on top of the hill for couple prayer and partnered up for a lazy Dora. Each “couple” went back and forth offering their “prayers” in the form of splitting duty on 100 wife pleasers (the non-“praying” partner held bridge), 200 squats (other partner held Al Gore), and 300 flutter kicks (other partner held 6 inches). It was only later in the day, once the sun was up, that many of the PAX were able to see just how many ant piles were on that hill–it was truly a miracle no one laid in one or more and got munched. It really looked like we were all clear in the darkness of the gloom.

    Next was family prayer–a ring of fire with all PAX doing constant smurf jacks to represent a bunch of active kids waiting their turn to pray, or in this case, squat jump. We made it to 50 before YHC called it to make time for couple dialogue.

    Any Domestic Church veteran will tell you that couple dialogue, though typically a sleeper, is the secret sauce. This is where the real money is, where the major growth happens for the couples who take advantage of it. A couple dialogue allows a couple to make measurable progress–it takes time an effort, but if you don’t give up early, it’ll change you. It would be no different this morning–the memories and the PTSD would center around this routine: 11’s over the hill. We started on the lake side with 10 Apolo Onos and on the other did 1 gas pump–next time was 9 and 2 and so on until finishing at 1 Ono and 10 gas pumps. Transportation was nurring (running backward) up and running down (both ways). It was the nur. The nur uphill caused YHC to think more than once about calling this one early, and more than once I checked my watch to see if time would give me an excuse, but we were going too fast. Paradiddle and Wet Tap wouldn’t let YHC ease up without it being obvious–we were in it together, all in, or not at all. I’m grateful for those dudes, per usual, and for their tenacity and companionship, cuz there was no place for a tired, self-pitying Goose to hide, so I didn’t miss out on the chance for some solid growth in mental toughness.
    Huge T-claps to the two FNG’s (and Cutthroat, too) for their staying with this one–it was designed assuming we’d have nothing but veterans out there this morning, but these guys never gave up!
    Side-note–a few minutes into this is when another stranger emerged out of the gloom, this time with a bouncing phone flashlight, and tried to just enter the fray unnoticed, but his off-color, plant-worker humor gave him away, as did the 6:40 arrival time–typical Goats in the machine arrival time is 5-10 minutes late, but this time, his Lenten lack of social media usage made him 40 minutes late (didn’t check GroupMe), so he promised to do some Doras at home. Good to have you, Goats, regardless of how long we get you!

    We ended on the far side of the hill for rule of life and the annual retreat. For rule of life, we picked on of YHC’s household rules, no phones on the toilet. This was represented by 15 mountain man poopers, increasing in speed as the reps increased representing how quickly YHC can get in and out of the bathroom now.
    The retreat is a chance for us to pack up our wives and kids and drag them to a far off location in hopes that it will do us some good. So, we grabbed our partners and piggy-backed them up the hill, then dropped them, ran down, and flapjacked. This is where the highlight of the morning happened–Ben (“Prius”) was first carried by Superfun(d), who is not a small man, but when they flapjacked, YHC assumed there would be some modifications, but once Smooth dropped me at the top and I turned around, there was Ben, moving quick up the hill, a determined smile on his face. All our legs were dead at this point, but he wanted to see if he could do it. His digging deep blew the whole PAX away, and they erupted, cheering wildly as he topped the hill with his mustached rider. It was a thing of beauty.

    We moseyed back to the flag for 7 minutes of Mary, 20 IC of the following: crunchy frogs, leg raises, J-Lo’s, pickle pounders (excellent mumblechatter from Cutthroat and Cardinal about potential publicity issues with this), and Jane Fondas to go with Yankee Joe’s Donna Summers comments. Held plank for the last minute, and then called it.
    COT with some FNG naming fun, the Animal shirt going to the indomitable Paradiddle, and then Superfun(d) prayed us out. It was an awesome addition to the retreat, and another great shot in the arm for the F3 Thibodaux crew.

    SYTIG,
    Goose

  • Kill or Be Killed (by Pope) – from Goose

    Some things you never get too old for. On the morning of March 4, YHC showed the PAX that grown men can run around (a lot) and play like the young men they once were. YHC showed up at the Peltch with a bag-o-flags filled with a limited amount of belt flags… the more PAX showed up, the more uncertain YHC became. YHC probably did more head counts in five minutes than he ever did in one day (impressive considering the amount of potential 2.0s at YHC’s home).
    We began with the usual warmup routine (SSH, imperial walkers, windmills, high knees, butt kicks, arm circles, cherry pickers) and headed to the EDW field. There, YHC distributed the belt flags which, thankfully, were distributed among all the PAX (Sonic and FNG each used one). We then split into teams and stationed at opposite goal lines for F3 Braveheart.
    To begin the first round, all PAX bear-crawled to the 20-yard line, then stood up and began the battle. Enemy PAX attempted to pull off their opponent’s flags (PAX had two flags; two lives) until one team is utterly vanquished. When a PAX was slain, he would drop and hold plank until the end of the round. The second round began at the 30-yard line with defeated PAX holding Al Gore. Finally, with the adrenaline of battle pumping through the veins, the third round resolved—every man for himself. YHC and FNG tied for winner because of unclear regulations concerning if someone went out of bounds. (Note: none of the rounds ended with any prize for the winning team, but no one asked…so…)
    The next thang involved a choice made by each PAX individually: 7 burpees at the start and halfway point of the entire track with sprints in between, or 20 Catalina Wine Mixers and a full-track sprint. Preference differed among the PAX. The second round, however, was an easy choice for most: 25 burpees and a full-track “sprint”, or 15 merkins at each corner, with lunge-walks for the straights and jogging on the curves (this obvious choice was YHC’s way of weeding out those who were NOT good candidates for the next ANIMAL). YHC, Goats in the Machine, Smooth Operator, and two of the four 2.0s chose the lunge-walk. Goats and the 2.0s switched choices a quarter of the way through… YHC was determined to finish when, two-thirds of the way through, Goose decided to catch the “ill-choosing” 6. We began to regroup and prepared to mosey, when we noticed Smooth still hammering out his third set of merkins! We picked him up and moseyed to the lower field with a pretty clear idea of our next ANIMAL.
    At the field Goose and YHC set up a small field about 30 yards long and initiated a game of PAX-&-Minnows. Goose started as the voluntary first shark and took his position at one end line while the rest of the PAX lined up on the other end. Throughout the two games played, the sharks began each round with two burpees with the minnows completing four merkins, then the minnows tried to make it safely to the other end line without being devoured (tagged) by a shark. Wounded (tagged) minnows dropped and performed LBCs until the round was over, while successful minnows did 10 star jumps in celebration of their survival. Coyote was the last man (well, person) standing at the end of the first game, and Lil’ Cuz remained after the second game.
    Back at the flag, Mary was performed in potluck fashion, with Coyote initiating box cutters and Lil’ Cuz calling leg lifts. Smooth was eager to lead us in burpees, and YHC reluctantly trumped with crunchy frogs. In COT our FNG, 2.0 of Superfun(d), was dubbed Superfas(t), reflecting his self-proclaimed performance in Braveheart and adding to our list of tee-tiny 2.0s. And of course, Smooth Operator left that morning with the well-deserved title of ANIMAL.
    SYITG, Pope

  • Huff, Puff, and Beatdown – from Goats in the Machine

    Warm-O-Rama

    Sub-contracted to goose due to the Q’s tardiness

    THANG 1: Story of the 3 little pigs

    Once upon a time, three little pigs decided to leave their mother’s house and build their own homes. The first little pig built his house out of straw
    • Pig 1 built a house of straw – 4 bodybuilders. Wind sprint to the parking lot

    the second little pig built his house out of sticks
    • Pig 2 built a house of sticks – 8 bodybuilders. Wind sprints to the last picnic table

    and the third little pig built his house out of bricks.
    • Pig 3 built a house of bricks – 12 bodybuilders. Wind sprints to the opposite sidewalk

    One day, a big, bad wolf came and knocked on the door of the first little pig’s straw house. “Little pig, little pig, let me come in!” said the wolf. But the little pig replied, “Not by the hair on my chinny chin chin!”
    • 20 LBCs (symbolizing the wolf huffing and puffing at the straw house)

    The wolf huffed, puffed, and blew the straw house down. The little pig ran to his brother’s house made of sticks.
    • PAX to run a loop

    But the wolf followed him and knocked on the door. “Little pigs, little pigs, let me come in!” said the wolf. But the two little pigs replied, “Not by the hair on our chinny chin chins!”
    • 20 LBCs (symbolizing the wolf huffing and puffing at the straw house)
    • 20 reps of merkins (symbolizing the wolf trying to break down the stick house)

    The wolf huffed, puffed, and blew the stick house down. The two little pigs ran to their brother’s house made of bricks.
    • PAX to run a loop

    But the wolf followed them and knocked on the door. “Little pigs, little pigs, let me come in!” said the wolf. But the three little pigs replied, “Not by the hair on our chinny chin chins!”
    The wolf huffed and puffed but couldn’t blow the brick house down. So, he climbed onto the roof and tried to come down the chimney. But the clever little pigs had a pot of boiling water waiting for him, and the wolf fell into the pot. The pigs covered the pot with a lid and boiled the wolf alive.
    • 20 LBCs (symbolizing the wolf huffing and puffing at the straw house)
    • 20 reps of merkins (symbolizing the wolf trying to break down the stick house)
    • 20 reps of air squats (symbolizing the wolf climbing the brick house and falling down the chimney)

    From that day on, the three little pigs lived happily ever after in their sturdy brick house, knowing that hard work and determination always pay off in the end.

    THANG 2: a game called “Beat the Wolf”

    The Pax Break into groups of 4. 3 PAX represents each of the pigs. (4 PAX will be pigs for teams of 5). 1 PAX is the Wolf.

    The 3 pigs plank. When the wolf arrives at a pig, the pig then calls an exercise for a 10-rep count. Whoever completes the task the fastest wins and becomes the pig in the plank position. The loser becomes the Wolf and moves on to the next Pig. Rinse and repeat. If a pax is a wolf 3 times in a row, he can do 5 penalty burpees to become a pig or remain the wolf.

    Thang 3
    • Elevens: overhead hand claps & calf raises, transport with bear crawls and walking leg kicks

    Mary
    • Pax Potluck Mary

    • COT • Announcements • Intentions • Smooth Prayed us out

    Moleskin
    YHC was running late, as usual, this morning. T-Claps to Goose for keeping the train on the tracks. YHC is grateful for the PAX transporting themselves to the 19th-century American countryside for a cheese fable-based beatdown. Hopefully, the storyline aided the pax in exerting maximum physical output with a minimal mental load. To be honest, YHC thought it would take longer than it did and wishes we would have taken a victory lap after the last round. In Thang 2 we continued the man-vs-man theme that has been popping up in previous beatdowns. T-claps to Smooth Operator for using a strategy that created an advantage with his short arms and impeccable bear crawling skills. Additionally, Yankee Joe can up with some crazy core-based stuff that exposed YHC’s lack of core strength (again). With this extra time to spare YHC called for Elevens and showed mercy by way of overhead claps and calf raises. Based on the mumble chatter, YHC will not show this type of mercy again.

    Thanks to all for going along with this goofy-themed beatdown and putting up with my tardiness.