F3 New Orleans

Tag: Tuesday Tuff

  • Why not run – from Safety Valve

    We were 5 PAX strong on a beautiful Tuesday Tuff morning. On arrival, my eyes went to one thing. Animal had returned. Buried under multiple piles of theology and philosophy books, it emerged to be donned on someone else. We wait and see who would be worthy…

    Warmaramma
    SSH
    Imperial walkers
    Mountain climbers
    Willie Mays Hayes
    Windmills
    Arm circles – forward and back ward

    This is when it fell to pieces. The groupme message that changed the world. Paradiddle wasn’t going to make it. The wall of smoke on Highway 311 was to great even for the winner of IPC week 2. Props for waking up and driving farther than all of us to better yourself. We never have to look far for inspiration.

    Thang 1
    Battan death March – 1 mile single file Indian style running around Rich mans loop with the last man having to drop and do 5 burpees before sprinting to catch up with the PAX. With just the 5 Amigos it meant most took 2-3 turns on burpees, but this group was up to the challenge.

    Thang 2
    To the dismay of most and the “Okay” of Smooth, the PAX continued with another mile of running rich man’s loop. At every other light pole we stopped for a 90 second AMRAP. First light pole stop was merkins, second were squats, third were flutter kicks. Americas Best enjoyed the latter the most as with every flutter kick came a flutter fart. He seemed swifter after the first round. This continued the entire mile with alternating running and nurring between stops. YHC pushed the PAX to at least match or beat their previous number of excercises completed on the first AMRAP. Enron beasted up and beat his first numbers at every other stop. Finished at the stage with 6 minutes left on the clock.

    Thang 3
    7s – done at the stage with merkins and jump squats.

    Mary involved 1 minute of holding six inches.

    CoT – announcements were made… We confirmed that Pope definitely wasn’t kidnapped and was probably still sleeping in his bed… Animal was given to the swim team prodigy of Shreveport, Enron for pushing to beat his AMRAP number again and again, prayers were raised for all the mommas and babies, cardinal prayed us out for another one in the books. Thank you gentleman, for waking up and showing up with me.

  • A Little Stitious by Safety Valve – from Goose

    It was a cloudy morning, overcast, 76 degrees Fahrenheit, 98% humidity from the rain the day before, when 11 members of the PAX showed up to the Stage to prove once again they are worthy. Bone thugs convinced an FNG to follow him along today and we were blessed to name a new face to the group. The St. John crew continues to impress with the show rate. Turt made a second appearance, even though Dox continues to tout the JBL is waterproof up to 6 ft and in all respects better than any other speaker available.

    Journal log 9/5/2023 – My observation of this group continues, though less intently today as YHC focused on leading these men through his first Q, the VQ they call it. The first few encounters for YHC’s documentary have been odd. They seem to use a completely different language and enjoy the workouts when they are tougher. Who uses cinder blocks (where does coupon even come from?) to workout? Even though odd, these men continue to show up week after week and seem to enjoy themselves. Is it the pain they enjoy? Do they enjoy sitting down on the toilet and getting up grunting because of the soreness? YHC is at his wits end trying to figure it out. Contemplating, YHC is reminded of another documentary-“The Office”. At first with “The Office”, YHC questioned the Michael Scott methods of leadership, the romance within the work place, and how many employees are needed for a small satellite office that sells only paper. But, as observations continued, YHC slowly saw how Michael Scott (who initially seemed unfit to lead an obese cat to a bowl of food) actually was one of the best leaders to get this mangy group of people to work together and actually enjoy selling paper of all things. As Scott said “The only time I set the bar low is for limbo”. Furthermore, the usual bad taste of dating someone in the workplace turned out to be the best love story since Romeo and Juliet. YHC was proved wrong and is determined to find out what makes this group of F3 men tick…

    Warmarama

    Side straddle hops
    Wind mills
    Imperial walkers
    Mountain climbers
    Arm circles forward
    Arm circles back

    The thang
    1 mile run – 0.5 mosey with 0.5 Indian run to finish at the Bumper to grab coupons. During the first part of the mosey, the mind started to wonder. As we lined up for the Indian run at the halfway point, YHC wondered if he would be enough to lead this group of men. How will the PAX make it through workouts today without having the impressive form and determination of Paradiddle to gaze upon. But to my wondering eyes, we saw the brown locks of hair bouncing past us during his run to the front of the line to signify he made it and caught up during the warm up run. We were going to be ok. Diddle was with us.

    After the warm up run and a couple 10 counts The PAX were split into 4 groups of 2 and a single thruple for a continuous AMRAP – 25 minutes total, 5 minutes at each station. Since iron PAX week 0 was still fresh in the mind, the goal for today was to get a full body cardio workout without failing a single particular muscle group. The stations were as follows:

    The love story (who doesn’t love Jim and Pam) – catch me if you can – nur around track, other partner does 5 burpees and sprints to catch

    The warehouse – 15 Bobby Hurleys (squat to touch the ground then jumps up raising arms), 15 overhead presses, 15 deadlifts

    Parkour – leap frog your partner from one picnic table to the other, once there do 10 Jillian Michaels, rinse and repeat.

    The annex (because everyone hates Toby) – 10 man makers, 20 captain Thor’s, 10 thrusters

    The Stanley Hudson – 26 merkins (anything is possible if you want to leave work early for the day), 15 pretzel crunches left, 15 pretzel crunches right (because Stanley loves pretzel day)

    It wasn’t long after starting that we found out that “Parkour” was going to be the tough station, even though Toby in the Annex upset everyone. It’s never a good sign when the super group of Goose and Diddle ask if I’m keeping time because they were ready be done with the Parkour fun. Alas, they still had 1 minute to go as YHC peered at the timer. The chatter otherwise was kept to a minimum while the PAX grinded through each station. America’s Best was unlucky enough to have YHC be his partner again. Once again he continues to proved his name change to America’s beast as he nurred (nar?) around the track at lightening speed. If he was in “The Office” there would be no love story, Pam would have never caught up to him.

    After 25 minutes and each group visiting every station, time was called. We circled up and cloudy vision and foggy minds set in after the beat down as we prepared to name and bring the FNG to the PAX. The absence of Yankee Jeaux was felt as we missed his whimsical naming ability. In the end our FNG was fittingly named Hypotenuse, giving Enron a huge confidence boost as he bagged his first naming. Announcements were made, iron pax week 1 schedule was discussed, prayers were lifted, Dumbledore prayed us out.

    …In the end, I have finally figured out why people keep showing up week after week, day after day, and persuading other people they actually like in their personal lives to join them in the F3 brotherhood (aka cult). Because YHC is not the greatest with words and the poetic form of Yankee Jeaux and Goose was not inherited I’m going to quote one of our own. Cardinal once wrote:

    “Whenever I tell someone about F3, it’s usually something like ‘we exercise early and it usually sucks. But it’s some of the best men I’ve ever met in my life.’”

    The human body can only take so much alone, physically and mentally. It takes other good people around to push us to new heights. YHC will always have huge respect to every person in the PAX for that reason.

    Welcome hypotenuse! The workouts do suck, but you will get to know some great men and be a better person for it.

  • Sandbaggin’ – from Wet Tap

    F3 8/15/2023

    Sandbaggin’

    A gaggle of 14 PAX tricked in on this glorious morning gloom. A Tuesday tough presented itself and YHC was eagerly ready to add a new COUS to the list.

    Warmarama was lit!
    No, literally. Goose revealed a deep secret. The party lights above and around the stage were only an extension cord away. With the help of Enron, Oh My! the stage was Alive! The dismay of Goose made it all the more perfect. Although it was strange to see everyone’s face during SSH, BK, WM, WMH.

    Thang 1.
    Non-typical mosey mile. Each light post changed the mosey. RUN, NUR, Carioca (L), Carioca (R). Hips don’t lie.

    Thang 2.
    With hurricane season upon us, we must be prepared. There is no better way to test our strength and endurance than with sandbagging. A homemade COUS made by YHC and his 2.0 consisted of 3 50 LB duct taped loads and a special 100 pounder.

    Pax partnered up with one performing SSH while the other partner accomplished station exercise. Then switched.

    Station 1 = 20 bear hold squats each (100lb)
    Station 2= 25 curls/25 rows each (50lb)
    Station 3 = 50 mountain climber each (2:1)
    Station 4 = 10 thrusters alt shoulder (50lb)
    Station 5 = 10 man makers each (50lb)
    Station 6 = 50 ct jump rope

    The Pax made it through 1 round and time proved to be on our side. We circled up for some Mary and YHC felt a little dealers choice would put the bile back where it belongs.
    Goose- flying W’s (10ct) or something of that sort. So much for the previous comment about the bile. Slow leg raise (10ct). ARODs I lost count, down under snow angels, and flutter kicks. Whew!

    COT with announcements.
    Gigi to Michelin- ANIMAL bestowed to Honeysuckle. Prayers with Enron.

    We suffered through this one, but it was great to suffer among those who continue to push and make each of us stronger in mind and spirit. T-claps.

  • There and Back Again, and Again, and Again – from Goose

    YHC was happy to pinch hit for Picadilly on this Tuesday Tuff morning–it would give us a chance to put (at least) one more hurtin’ on the legs and abs to steel them up for this weekend, AND YHC could work around the wounded wing without having to modify. The rest of the PAX was delighted, too…

    Ultimately totaling 8 after a couple of late ‘uns, the warmup consisted of much of the usual, but we added some shoulder rolls cuz YHC remembers how the neck felt after Tap’s 1 mile nur a few weeks ago and wanted to avoid that given the amount of nurring that was planned for today. We also focused a bit more on the ol’ hammies with some Tin Soldiers–they’ve been getting quite a beating the past few beatdowns, and this morning would be no exception.

    YHC was happy to introduce a few of the newer guys (who have been extremely impressive in their consistent posting) to some foundational routines today. The first was 11’s. We started on the edge of the pavement with 10 Big Boy Situps, ran to the opposite sidewalk, and completed 1 Goosie (newly minted this morning–it’s the Goose-modified burpee: Bonnie Blair plus a jump squat = 1). Then, Nur back for 9 big boys at the patio, then 2 Goosies, etc. with the number of BBSU decreasing by one and Goosies increasing by one until each had completed 1 BBSU and 10 Goosies.

    Honeysuckle showed his superhuman stamina on the Goosies, for sure, and the dude was just getting started. Everyone else’s legs were certified gelatin, but there was still 25 minutes of beatdown to go, so it was on to Thang 2, starting with a mosey to the beloved first street lamp on Rich Man’s Loop.

    (Seriously, running and stopping at that first street lamp for instructions (and pontification) is like arriving at the waiting room at the dentist–you’re not exactly sure what’s about to happen, but it’s guaranteed to be extremely uncomfortable.)

    Today, the lesson was in mental toughness and our ability to measure progress. We may be constantly working our tails off, but if we’re needing measurable progress through the ups and downs, the backs and forths to give us a reason to keep going, we’re gonna struggle. The truth is, the suffering IS the journey, especially when it’s shared with brothers, and interior progress is the only progress that really matters.

    So, the routine was titled “Two Steps Forward, One Step Back”–it consisted of running two light poles, then nurring one back; then running three light poles, then nurring two back, then running four, then nurring back three, all the way up to running 7 and nurring back six.

    Honeysuckle, Diddle, and Pope began to pull away relatively early, reveling in their running prowess, while the rest of us just tried not to let anyone down. Dox and Enron paired up, as did America’s Best and Safety Valve, leaving YHC to grind it out alone as the pit began to close around him somewhere between the 5th and 6th volley, the will to win having been sucked out in the later rounds of the 11’s. It’s funny, though, how any little hand-hold will do when you’re trying to survive, and YHC found some comfort in watching his shadow start to shrink as each light post approached from behind. Nurring is tough on the legs, but it’s also tough on the mind–you can’t really tell have far you have to go, and you can’t keep your eyes on the prize. All you can see is where you’ve been, the sweat stains and the pain you’ve just poured out. This was good training in mental toughness, and YHC was proud of this crew for stepping up and cranking it out.

    Once all but one team had finished, the run to pick up the six became a necessary Indian Run back to the flag due to time constraints and YHC’s desire to no longer suffer alone.

    Upon arrival, the count-off was complicated due to brain fog and tired math muscles, but all were accounted for and Gigi (the game ball in the absence of Animal) obviously went to Honeysuckle as he easily stayed out front for the entire nasty beatdown. Thanks for keeping the bar high, HS!

    Announcements: get signed up for the SV500 if you haven’t already, and get those jambalaya tickets sold! Incredible work, per usual, on all this Paradox! Let’s keep praying and be prepped to show up early and help make this a successful event.
    Prayer intentions for Smooth’s crew, Diddle’s crew, Cardinal’s transition, and Enron prayed us out.

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • Outlive & the 4 Pillars of Exercise Fitness – from Enron

    YHC has been on a recent journey to learn more about the health secrets to longevity, and more importantly how to live out a longer health span and not just lifespan. Two potentially very different things. After some push from his concierge service PCP, or at least a guy that claims to be a doctor (we all know his M is the actual physician), he picked up a book called Outlive by Dr. Peter Attia. A great read I might add. Although, admittingly only the first 100 pages of over 490 pages have been read so far, YHC thought it would be a good thing to pass some of the preliminary information on to the remainder of the PAX. Therefore the 4 pillars of exercise fitness were created, well more like repeated, and copied from someone much smarter.

    YHC arrived early to write down some lists on an “exercise board”, which was just a piece of construction paper after an unwanted spring-cleaning event removed the dry erase board that was perfect for these things …. But I digress. The PAX quickly started to arrive, and by the time the beatdown started we were 9 strong at the Stage.

    An Introduction to the 5 Tactics of the Longevity Toolkit were quickly listed as follows and a short description of each was given:
    1)Nutation Biochemistry
    2) Exercise Fitness
    3) Sleep
    4) Distress Tolerance
    5) Drugs, Supplements, and Hormones

    Because we aren’t coming to the stage to eat (not this week at least) or sleep (although Tana looked like he might still be halfway there), YHC informed the PAX we would be covering the 4 pillars of exercise fitness as it applies to longevity training. Those four pillars are different types of exercise training that should be completed on a weekly basis and are as follows:

    1) Zone 2 Training – keeping heart rate at 60-70% of your max consistently through an exercise. Another way to judge if you are in zone 2 heart rate is if you can still carry a conversation while performing the level of exercise.
    2) Strength
    3) Stability
    4) V02 Max or Zone 5 Training – This is maximum effort and 90-100% of Max Heart Rate training.
    As a certain “doctor” once said, “Duke, lets get this show on the road.”
    Warmup:
    SSH, Windmills, Arm Circles, Cherry Pickers, IW, Willie Mays Hayes, Self-Love

    ZONE 2 Training:
    Mosied for a mile while keeping conversation for the duration of the jog. This was approximately a 10–11-minute mile pace. We ended up getting going a little fast, and every person will be different from a heart rate standpoint.

    Strength Training:
    Broke out the coupons and did the following exercises in order for 2 rounds.
    5 Man Makers
    10 Overhead Press
    15 Kettle Bell Swings
    20 Coupon Bench Press
    25 Merkins
    30 Goblet Squats
    35 Curls
    40 LBCs

    Stability Training:
    The following were meant to be performed until failure, but due to time constraints and Goose’s ability to do each of these for way too long, we completed a minute of each of the following:
    1) Hold Al Gore
    2) Mission Impossible Plank
    3) 6-inch Hold

    VO2 Max – Zone 5 Training:
    Sprinted to each of 3 picnic tables spread throughout the field about 15 yards apart, completed 1 burpee at the first and Nured back, then back to the second, 2 burpees, and so forth until we had worked our way up to 4 burpees then counted back down.

    Recover called.

    COT and Paradox prayed us out.
    Reminder that next Friday and Saturday is the SV500 and signups need to be completed soon. Can’t wait for that Thursday Cardinal Q!

    SYITG,

    Enron

  • I Ain’t No Hollaback Q! – from Yankee Joe

    For the love of Pete! Kids, turn off that durn radio television thing! I can’t hear myself think. I’m trying to type a summary brief of my exercise regimen I did with some other fellers this morning.

    What? It’s not a TV, it’s a tablet? Are you stupid? Do you see a chisel? I don’t care if you’re bored. Go outside! In my day, we would play outside all day. Hell, we were forced to sleep outside with the dogs. We drank hose water and lit M80’s while holding them in our mouth. We punched each other in the groin to say hello and ate grass for a snack. AND we were damn GRATEFUL for it. Grateful I tell you! We were tough as nails!

    What’s that you say? You didn’t know the tinted glitter sunscreen was for Dad’s perfectly manscaped chest? I guess you expect me to drive a golf cart down 30A with un-coiffed chest hair?

    What? You didn’t know that blood orange Perrier came from a garden hose? Go back to Navarre Beach if you want La Croix. I’m not raising peasants here.

    What do you mean you’re scared of my avocado-cucumber bro-mask? You think this skin tone just HAPPENS? Now shut your cute little pie holes…I’m trying to decide which organic tea to brew before my online Pilates class. Freakin’ kids…the minute I break out my typewriter…

    —————————

    YHC was planning on maybe 5 – 8 PAX for a humid Tuesday Tuff. Paradiddle suggested that it was cute that YHC thought 8 was a big showing. The beatdown was optimistically built for 10. At 5:10, 8 PAX were mulling around…and then they kept coming (some in minivans, some in brand new Mercedes SUV’s). With a minute to spare, we hit 14! YHC quickly started recalculating (while panicking) the beatdown logistics. It was going to be messy. It didn’t help that Paradox was in YHC’s ear singing 8 mile lyrics. Was this my one chance to blow? Then a 15th figure strolling up. Another FNG! YAY, but holy crap!

    That said, WELCOME to Bone Thug! It’s nice to FINALLY have a medical professional in the PAX now. I can’t imagine walking up to 14 strangers in the dark. Thug’s F3 name seems appropriate on many levels.

    Also, it’s really inspiring to see Honeysuckle, A merica’s Best, and Popeye all turning into regulars and providing some much needed maturity. (Shut up, Paradox. You’re a thick candy shell.) Seriously, you guys bring great energy, mumblechatter, and in Suckle’s case, a bunch of cinderblocks. It should be notet that Popeye was a huge part of F3 Thibodaux gaining momentum in the first place. Huge T-Claps. I hope the fruits of your early labor were clear to see this morning (Goose’s pastel crop top notwithstanding).

    ——————————

    CONTEXT

    In the era of “millennial songs,” we were subjected to a never-ending barrage of mind-numbing, soulless, and insipid compositions that represent the epitome of artistic decay. These so-called “songs” epitomize everything that is wrong with the modern music industry, where substance is traded for superficiality, and originality is replaced by generic formulas that appeal to the lowest common denominator.

    Ok, ok…that’s a bit much…especially coming from a 44-year old YHC who at one time in 8th grade thought Young MC, Tone Loc, and Vanilla Ice were prophets; that “She Drives Me Crazy” by the Fine Young Cannibals spoke my truth, and that Z Cavariccis with 75 pleats (and tight rolled around the ankles) was THE fashion here to stay. Fast forward a few years, and we won’t even bring up Oasis, Dave Matthews Band, Counting Crows, or the Black Eyed Peas. Yikes.

    ——————————

    THEME

    ANYWAY, lately, there seems to have been some confusion about those anthems which define generations. Per usual, the Gen Xers and Gen Zers don’t really care. It’s the Millennials, however, who always seem to be BEARing a grudge against their foreBEARers.

    I don’t blame them. If I was coming of age with Avril Lavigne hitting the scene instead of Guns n Roses, or BEARing the brunt of songs like “I kissed a Girl” instead of “Even Flow,” or groups like Blink 182 instead of…well any other group…ever, I’d be harboring some deeply confusing issues too. I’d be BEARing my chest and screaming “WHY oh WHY?” Of course, I’m BEARly scratching the surface here. But seriously, Justin Bieber? Just unBEARable.

    So, as Paradox (fine, he’s a medical “professional”), who is diligent about the PAX wellbeing, would say…”The PAX needed healing.” BUT what kind of bridge could we bring to BEAR that would connect our generations? Could these 30-somethings BEAR to hear the truth? Or would we have to BEAR down and drop reality bombs? BEAR. BEAR. BEAR.

    YHC’s 2.0’s offered the answer as they sang along to ‘We’re Going on a Bear Hunt.” The story was originally introduced in a 1989 book and then remade in a 2015 cartoon, neatly connecting the Gen Xers, Millennials, Gen Zers, and every other group in between and following.

    So to take these important steps in healing, we’re going on a millennial…er I mean a BEAR hunt this morning. F3 style.

    Call it a journey through lyrical crap.

    —————————-

    THE BEATDOWN

    Thang 1: Climbing the Mountain (Stage to Sidewalk)

    We’re goin’ on a millennial hunt,
    We’re going to catch a big one,
    I’m not scared
    What a beautiful gloom!
    Oh look! It’s a scarrrry mountain shaped like a desperate cry for help!

    Can’t go under it,
    Can’t go around it,
    Got to go through it,
    Gotta go over it with a bunch of stupid coupon exercises!

    Burpee penalty – Avril Lavigne – Skatr Boi (penalty averted by Paradiddle)

    10 man makers (45 sec)
    20 overhead presses (40 sec)
    30 curls (20 sec)
    40 merkins (60 sec) /
    30 curls (20 sec)
    20 overhead presses (40 sec)
    10 man makers (45 sec)
    Al Gore cheering on SIX

    —————————–
    Thang 2 – Narrow Pass (Sidewalk to Stage)

    We’re goin’ on a millennial hunt,
    We’re going to catch a big one,
    I’m not scared
    What a beautiful gloom!
    Oh look! It’s a really narrow pass, so narrow, too narrow for north louisiana egoes to pass through!

    Can’t go over it,
    Can’t go under it,
    Can’t go around it,
    Got to go through it – with a crap load of leg exercises and burpees!

    Teams of 8
    First two teams Block and Bears to mid point; other teams chilcutt peter parkers
    – 20 apollo ono’s 2:1 – all (1 min)
    – 20 prisoner squats
    – 20 bonnies 2:1
    Block and Bears to Stage (next group goes when prior team begins last exercise)
    – Chilcutt peter parkers while waiting

    —————————-
    Punishment Song (just because) – LMFAO – I’m Sexy and I Know It
    – SSH on verses
    – Burpee on “look at that body”
    – Star jump on “I, I, I work out”
    – Hillbilly walkers on “I’m sexy and I know it”
    – Fast high knees on “wiggle, wiggle, wiggle”

    Coupon mosey to top track half point of field, roadside

    —————————–
    Thang 3 – Cross the field (Across short field, roadside)

    We’re goin’ on a millennial hunt,
    We’re going to catch a big one,
    I’m not scared
    What a beautiful gloom!
    Oh look! It’s a beautiful field full of the dying culture of 30 somethings!

    Can’t go over it,
    Can’t go under it,
    Can’t go around it,
    Got to murder bunny through it!

    Burpee penalty – Katy Perry – I Kissed a Girl (didn’t get a chance to play, because YHC is old and forgot)

    Murder bunny to halfway
    – 25 coupon LBCs
    – 25 coupon flutters (2:1)
    – 25 freddie mercs (2:1)
    Murder bunny to street

    ———————————
    Thang 4 – Traverse the River (Across street)

    We’re goin’ on a millennial hunt,
    We’re going to catch a big one,
    I’m not scared
    What a beautiful gloom!
    Oh look! It’s a raging river of passive aggressive Chackbay snark!

    Can’t go over it,
    Can’t go under it,
    Can’t go around it,
    Got to rifle carry coupons through it!

    Burpee penalty – Gwen Stefani – Holla Back Girl (didn’t play because of time constraints)

    Rifle carry/Groucho Walk (side to side squat) across street
    Mosey left to corner, leaving Cindies

    Uh, oh! It’s dark in here.
    I feel something,
    It has lots of quaffed hair!
    It’s soft like a douche bag! With two heads!
    AHHHHH It’s Justin Bieber and Sean Kingston!

    Song: Eenie Meenie (aka top five worst songs in history)
    – Plank jacks on intro (you need to read this crap)
    – Mtn Climbers on Mind, Time, Wind
    – Groiners on refrain

    —————————————
    COT, GiGi was passed from Superfun(d) to Paradox (again), we welcomed Bone Thug, and Wet Tap prayed us out.

    One of YHC’s research streams is around market segments and generational trends. Of course, it is helpful to have reference points as styles and fashions come and go. At the end of the day, however, it’s just not that complicated. The good stuff sticks around and the crappy stuff dies. It’s always been about quality. So, no need to continue this generational feud. We just need to be on the same page that high quality music disappeared around 1994.

    Today was a bit of a dumpster fire, but I am genuinely grateful and always humbled to fight the good fight with each of you.

    SYITG,

    Yankee Jeaux

  • The Centenarian Decathlon – from Paradox

    YHC has been in a rather melancholic mood recently and asking the deeper , heavy hitting questions about this life ?

    Am I original? Yeahhhh
    Am I the only one? Yeahhh
    Am I sexual ? Yeahhh
    Am I everything thing you need? You better rock your body now…
    *record scratch***
    ***looks in the mirror and slaps face ***

    (No no no !
    That’s not it !
    That’s YJs Monday beatdown playlist with the Backstreet Boys still plaguing your mind
    Let it go Dox , keep your composure
    Focus , you’re better than this
    Do it for Tana, he’s alone out there in the rep wilderness and needs this blast )

    Ok ok I’m back but seriously the question here is what can I do for the years I’m allowed on this planet to be the most functional
    Can health span truly = lifespan?

    Well, 8 High impact men beat the darkness at the stage Tuesday morning to answer the above.

    This framework YHC picked up from a longevity expert Dr Peter Attia (see links below for more elegant explanations)
    But it boils down to imagining your most important tasks at 100 years old and reverse engineering the training for our own personal decathlon. So YHC polled the pax audience via text the day before and built a list of everyone’s “must be able to do at 100” list.

    But here’s the catch .. sure you can do those things now but we need to be able to compensate for age related decline.
    So for example you can all pick up a 20 lb toddler now and raise them over your head like Simba. But for the next 4 decades you could lose 7-8 percent of your muscle strength/decade (perhaps more if you have a roaring water problem) : so today you need to be able to lift ….let’s say a 40 lb coupon overhead roughly 50 times. Makes sense? You see where this is heading

    Duke get the footage and Medicare part D we got new indications baby !

    Warmup
    Standard issue warmups welcoming back Goose and Pope fresh from NC adventures and extra time to nurse a few tight arms from YJs zombie crawls and Lil cuzs pull-up palooza.

    Bumper mosey

    Da List

    #1 get up from lying down un aided
    #2 climb stairs

    Song : I Don’t Need Your Rocking Chair – George Jones
    Wake up , Climb Stairs

    BBSU into box jump
    Back into bed with 1 Merkin increase each rep
    That bird poop on the stage never smelled better.

    #3 Coordination to play with great grandkids and #4 Driving )
    Indian Run with frisbee
    Last man does 5 gas pumps
    If Frisbee miss , all pax 7 jump squats

    YHC will confess here that I’m very bad at frisbee and expected atleast 5-6 drops. Little did I know smooth and Goldilocks are semi pro frisbee weekend warriors. YHC had so little faith in an overthrown pass that I had halted the run to smugly handout squats. Goldilocks turned on the #jets and the seminarian house will be getting PED testing very soon.

    #5 Pick up great grandchildren and #6 Swim

    WIPE OUT
    Flora
    P1 10 Thrusters to complete 100
    P2 Flutter kicks

    The chatter subsided significantly after opening the thrusters …

    LIVE ON A PRAYER

    Travel – 20 coupon curl each to complete 80 as a partner pair
    P2 – Genuflections

    ITS THE CLIMB #8
    #9 GOLF with my FRIENDS

    100 Apolo Onos (to get the ball out of the hole ) – sets of 10
    Coupon Dance Steps fast as you can go (simulate climbing )

    Fantastic group effort to finish these out and I don’t know if I was motivated more by Goose or Miley Cyrus but we finished real strong.

    …Grand Finale

    GIVE ME SOME LOVING #10

    It was here YHC revealed that Smooth had answered the penultimate question with his usual stunning word efficiency

    What is the single most important activity to still be doing at 100 ??

    Pickle Pounders!

    Song : Give me Some loving
    Plank reaches on Song
    2 Merkins on Glad
    Pickle Pounders on Give and loving
    All I can say here is that somewhere in North Carolina ole Kilmer is smiling and that there could be some HR classes Goose has to attend for being an upstanding HOA member present at this musical debauchery.

    COT and Lox prayed us out

    Animal given to the Pope for carrying YHC through the thrusters and still counting them all.

    The Tanaversary is Thursday
    The hype is building…

    Great morning striving alongside you men keeping our physical and spiritual health sharp.

    Keep it 100

    SYITG

    Dox

    https://peterattiamd.com/how-to-train-for-the-centenarian-decathlon/

  • O Brother, Where Art Thou? – from Goose

    Though this title could refer to a few of the PAX who didn’t show this morning, the crew who did show were of such high quality, YHC was lifted above any yearnings for missing brethren. Goldilocks/Animal was there for his third in a row, revealing later that CrossFit was now dead to him; Econoline returned after a brutal reentry with dimples shining in the moonlight; and Michelin was back and ready for whatever! The ever stalwart Smooth, Enron, and Diddle rounded us out, and though the warmup chatter was low, the spirits were high.

    Every now and then, a line from the movie, “O Brother, Where Art Thou” (Cohen Brothers movie with George Clooney) will jump into YHC’s head and bring with it delightful feelings of nostalgia from the many times it’s graced my screen. There are very few movies YHC can watch more than once or twice, but this is definitely one of them. The dialogue, the characters, the acting, and the ridiculous story-line have yet to get old. So, YHC dragged the rest of the PAX through the plot this morning via physical exertion.

    Warmup of the usuals, including some sharply executed Moroccan Nightclubs, followed by a bumper mosey to wake the legs up and start the process of getting the gallons of lactic acid built up from Saturday and Monday out of the system (it would take almost the full length of the beatdown to complete that process).

    The movie starts with footage of a prison chain-gang busting up rocks somewhere in Mississippi in the 1930’s. Three men, chained to one another, escape by running “stealthily” through a cornfield toward a railroad track with hopes of jumping on a train. So, we lined up along the edge of the grass, linked up with our arms over each other’s shoulder, and the all 7 PAX lunge walked together to the sidewalk. I felt sorry for the short guys, but that’s the way it goes when you’re chained together.

    Next, since we missed the train, we had to flag down an old, blind man cranking one of those manual railway cars. YHC pulled the first song off the soundtrack, “Keep on the Sunny Side”, and we did alternating overhead presses with those gray bricks that the 2.0’s have been using, and upright rows on every “sunny”. But, we only had 5 sets of bricks, so two guys had to use blocks…which was tough. T-claps to Enron and Smooth for taking that one.

    Next, the three escaped convicts made their way through many obstacles and opportunities to get back to the leaders’ wife, who was about to marry an upstanding man, a bonafide suitor, claiming that her convict husband had been hit by a train (“blooey!”). So, we ran through a sort of montage inspired relay race: Partner 1 was stationed a quarter of the way around the track and did Apolo Ono’s until Partner 2 completed 15 merkins and ran past Partner 1 to halfway around the track and took up the Ono’s. Once Partner 2 passed Partner 1, Partner 1 switched to 15 merkins before running past Partner 2, etc. This went on for three laps, and I think the winning team was Enron/Econoline. In case you were wondering, it was the merkins. The merkins were the crux. I love it when a routine ends up revolving around a seemingly harmless piece that no one expected would give them much trouble!

    After this, instead of a ten-count, we went right into another song, which YHC hoped would provide both a breather and a shoulder burner, but it ended up being pretty weak. The song, another from the soundtrack, was “I’ll Fly Away”, and we planned to do shoulder fly’s with the bricks on every “fly”, but there weren’t nearly as many as YHC remembered. (Should have tested this one–overconfident.). Smooth and Diddle ended up with the blocks on this one since YHC promised it would be a little easier–not sure it was. We ended up basically just doing a bunch of fly’s/block curls along with some heel raises till the end of the song, which provided enough of a burn to get us to the next thang.

    The movie’s climax is when the companions jump up on a stage at a campaign rally so Everett can get closer to his wife, who’s seated up front. They play “Man of Constant Sorrows,” (a song they played over the radio earlier in the movie to make a few bucks) and unbeknownst to them, reveal that they are the now wildly popular “Soggy Bottom Boys” that everyone’s been dying to hear. So, we took to the stage and did a continuous series of 10 dips, 10 alternating step-ups (1:1), 10 dips, and 10 box jumps until the song ended (about 4.5 minutes).

    Our performance was so good that we were reunited with our wife with plans to remarry. This led us nicely into some themed Mary, which included lots of Hello Dolly’s, LBC’s, Wife Pleasers, high, slow flutter kicks, slow penguins, and J-Lo’s.

    COT, Animal shirt went to Enron, and Enron prayed us out.

    It’s been an awesome start of the week, but everyone’s looking forward to Cardinal’s birthday Q on Thursday at the Den. Would love to see us break 13 for that one! Rest tomorrow and get there!
    And, watch the movie–we need a collective agreement on whether Paradiddle’s taste in movies is calibrated as poorly as YHC suspects.

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • DAT DAWG – from Paradox

    7 dawgs at the stage today on a relatively cool May morning.

    We had a smooth purebred Pit always ready to roll. A local German shepherd with a huge litter of puppies brought in the coups. A young French bulldog living the summer lyfe and looking for a fight. An aged and scholarly golden retriever who can still retrieve after he gets his paws stretched. A north La bred bull mastiff who showed up purely for raw steak and Merkins. Rounded out by a greyhound who ran all the way from his kennel in Bourg. A variety of breeds from far and wide but today they were all looking to be Dat Dawg ….

    Duke! stop trying to recreate sweat stains and get the footage!!

    YHC recently saw F3 Nola’s Hawgcycle (still a mystery how to pronounce this) post that his daughter would be following in his shoeless footsteps and raising money for the Special Olympics by running 1 mile a day for 2023. If you had asked a 12 year old YHC to run a single mile I would have had a hard time penciling you in my booked schedule of Cheetos and GoldenEye so I was floored by this effort and knew we had to rally our bayou pax to support.

    Thus DAT DAWG was born …

    Warmup

    The usuals with some extra reps after an intense Diddle VQ yesterday.

    Like any veteran Dawg, ole Jeaux could smell the intensity in the air. A prolonged warmup , a call for BAPS, surrounded by Dox cones. I could see him working through his Rolodex of fartsack excuses but it was too late .

    We grabbed coupons and headed to the Junkyard.

    YHC explained todays cause and that we would pledge $ for each lap completed.

    YHC then took the pax through a tour of the rough 1/2 mile long obstacle course:

    10 coupon curls , run to next cone
    10 big boys Nur to next cone
    10 merkins bearcrawl the pylon thingys and then roughly 60 yard stretch then more pylons. If a car passes you gotta bark (Merkin) . 10 more merkins on the other side. Run to stage.
    10 box jumps and karaoke to bumper
    1 suicide then sprint to junkyard
    10 burpees then mark your territory (chalk )

    Format: Most Laps complete OR the pax in the lead at the end of 30 minutes would be declared ..

    DAT DAWG.

    Notes:

    -Merkins , bearcrawl , merkins continues to be a recipe for success and YJ had such an accurate bark impression I had to double check it wasn’t an actual wild dog.
    -Horn broke another Coupon and is 1 away from joining TreeRoot in the bayou. RIP
    -Several pax pushing the limit of cardio exertion , it was beautiful.
    -BAPs brought the absolute thunder.
    -Ole hC Tana got caught in a late Pickle fartsack and one hateth to lay eyes on such a thing.

    When the dust settled at 5:59 to no one’s surprise Goose was charging up 4.5 laps with Ronnie close on his heels.
    Both displaying beastly inner DAWG.

    YHC called it and presented Goose with the first DAT DAWG chain. (Must see pics)

    It will serve as our “break in case of charitable event “ trophy. If the chips are down or a worthy cause is in need then you can call on DAT DAWG for fast support.

    In all we completed 26 laps of DAT DAWG as a PAX and raised a nice chunk for an excellent cause.

    COT and dat ole dawg Yankee Jeaux prayed us out.

    An honor to lead this pack of Dawgs today .

    SYITG

    Dox

  • That’s 200 yards, right? – from Enron

    YHC arrived to the Stage later than normal after dealing with sleepless roaming 2.0s and a lost set of keys; leaving the M at home not very impressed with the noise and light levels at 4:50 am. If I go missing for a few beatdowns (or forever) we will now know why. Quickly upon rounding the curve to park, Smooth and Paradox came trotting by, continuing to accumulate points for the Clevland May Challenge in a beastly way. Smooth, your incredible will and drive continues to push us all. By 5:15 (or shortly thereafter due to miscalculations on BMs) we had a total of 7 PAX ready for some Tuesday Tuffness.

    Warmup: SSH, IW, Windmills, Willie Mays Hayes, AC, Cherry Pickers, the rest of the usual, maybe some mountain climbers in there.

    Thang 1: Mile Mosey – That’s it we just jogged a mile. As you can see, a lot of planning went in todays beatdown.

    Thang 2: Rich Man’s Loop Light Post Choose Your Destiny
    After the mile and a ten count, the PAX gathered their coupons and made way to the beginning of rich man’s loop. This is where the F3 deck of death was presented, and instructions were handed out.
    Each light post one PAX would have the chance to choose their destiny (along with the rest of the PAX) as we made our way from post to post around the loop. The choices were as follows:
    A) Perform the exercise on the card, or
    B) Choose “MAY Challenge” which means that the suit of the card determined the exercise:
    a. Hearts – Merkins
    b. Spades- Coupon Tricep Extensions (Curls) or Coupon Squats
    c. Diamonds – BBSU
    d. Clubs – Coupon Curls

    Paradox drew the first card and chose to take what was on the card. This turned out to be a 200-yard sprint which in turn sparked a quick debate about how far 200 years was. Goose quickly, and loudly, made his position known that one light post was 100 yards away and we would just need to sprint back and forth. Stupidly listening to his seniority, YHC agreed. After returning from what must have been a 75-yard sprint it was agreed that we (he) may have miscalculated.

    For the rest of the loop, each Pax drew a card and chose their destiny, with most choosing the May Challenge rules. This loop took longer than YHC planned for and by the end we had to make a long mosey with coupon to the Stage.

    Upon arrival back at the stage we completed coupon curls AMRAP until time.

    COT and Goose prayed us out.

    SYITG,

    Enron