F3 New Orleans

Tag: Wet Tap

  • Share the Load, get some points. – from Maneater

    On the heels of a powerful ACTS retreat weekend, YHC decided to put aside sarcasm, and snark, and blast a little bitta Gospel up in heeya. This beatdown was inspire by Galatians 6:2, in which St. Paul instructs PAX to “Bear each other’s burdens, and you will fulfill the law of Christ.”

    PAX often carry emotional burdens akin to a heavy rucksack on a demanding march. Just as a rucksack can weigh down a soldier, the societal expectations, pressures, and stereotypes surrounding masculinity can burden men. These expectations include things like suppressing emotions, shouldering responsibilities “alone”, and adhering to traditional notions of strength and stoicism. Like a rucksack, these burdens can become exhausting, straining both mental and emotional well-being.

    Yet, just as a soldier finds respite when they can finally set down their pack, or hand them off, PAX can find respite through the support and understanding of peers. This Ruck was an exercise in sharing our burdens. In the dark and with fog so think you could float a horseshoe on it, six PAX ambled to The Coliseum. Each PAX showed up with his own rucksack, the contents and weight unknown to the other PAX. As we gathered, the simple rules for the ruck were explained. At random intervals, the PAX would switch rucksacks, ensuring that no PAX carried his burden alone. All of the burden was to be shared with all of the PAX. Some Pax packs were heavy, some PAX packs just right. Together, however, our yolk was too easy, and our burden was light.

    The Thang:
    The course consisted of two miles traveled at a little more than a shuffle. Many topics were covered, but YHC does not remember what they were because YHC has the short-term memory of a Koala (look up koala intelligence, it isn’t very impressive). Hopefully, Through this shared experience, the PAX discovered the power of community and vulnerability, realizing that it’s okay to lean on others and share the weight of their burdens. In the same way, Catholic teaching emphasizes the importance of community and bearing one another’s burdens, recognizing that together, we can find strength and support to navigate life’s challenges…..

    Or at the least, got a good workout and a few points to take back to their respective May Challenge teams. Regardless of what PAX took home, YHC is grateful to have share this beatdown, and every beatdown, with such great men.

    The Ruck was followed by a COT and Cardinal Prayed us out.

    SYITG,
    Maneater

  • F3-GPT – from Cardinal

    YHC had concocted an idea for a beatdown that had been percolating for a few months now, just waiting for the perfect time to reveal itself. With the explosion of AI chatbots this year, the seed was planted – could ChatGPT craft a killer beatdown?? I mean, it’s got an internet archive treasure trove of backblasts to read. YHC would never have to be creative, or panic at 11pm the night before, again!

    Before committing to the idea, though, YHC had to make a promise to himself – whatever ChatGPT gave would be the beatdown, no edits. So below you’ll find for your reading pleasure the full, unedited response to YHC’s prompt, “Create a 45 minute F3 beatdown.”
    —————
    Certainly! Here’s a **45-minute F3 beatdown** that you can use for your workout. This routine is designed to challenge you and work your entire body. Feel free to modify or adjust it as needed:

    1. **Warm-Up** (5 minutes):
    – **SSH (Side Straddle Hops)**: 20 reps
    – **Good Mornings**: 15 reps
    – **Arm Burners**: 10 reps
    – **High Knees**: 20 seconds
    – **Butt Kickers**: 20 seconds
    – **Merkins**: 10 reps

    2. **4 Corners Circuit** (15 minutes):
    – Set up four markers in a square or rectangular shape (e.g., tennis courts).
    – Complete the following exercises at each corner, then run to the next corner:
    – **Round 1**:
    – 10 Merkins
    – 15 Squats
    – 20 Plank Jacks
    – 6 Burpees
    – **Round 2**:
    – 15 Merkins
    – 20 Squats
    – 25 Plank Jacks
    – 8 Burpees
    – **Round 3**:
    – 20 Merkins
    – 25 Squats
    – 30 Plank Jacks
    – 10 Burpees

    3. **Parking Space 11’s** (10 minutes):
    – Start on one side of the parking lot.
    – Perform 10 Merkins, then run to the other side.
    – Perform 1 Charles Shackleford (burpee with a basketball shot).
    – Repeat, decreasing Merkins by 1 and increasing Charles Shacklefords by 1 until you reach 1 Merkin and 10 Charles Shacklefords.

    4. **6 Minutes of Mary** (6 minutes):
    – Rotate through the following core exercises:
    – **The Dolly**
    – **The High Dolly**
    – **LBC (Little Baby Crunches)**
    – **The Dying Cockroach**
    – **Flutter Kick**
    – **Row The Boat**
    – **Freddie Mercury**

    5. **Circle of Trust (COT)** (4 minutes):
    – Share prayer requests and intentions with the group.
    – Consider praying for:
    – Flat Head’s daughter (upcoming test at Chapel Hill)
    – Brother Landlord’s sister (recovering from surgery)
    – Scrappy’s friend (job loss)
    – CPR’s job test
    – Everyone dealing with COVID

    Remember to push yourself but also listen to your body. Modify any exercise as needed, and encourage others during the beatdown! 🏋️‍♂️💪
    ———

    A few observations: ChatGPT didn’t do a bad job overall. It started the Warmorama with SSH’s, as it should. It nailed some classic F3 exercises flawlessly.

    It clearly can’t take into account human fatigue – we ended up scrapping round 3 of the circuit in the interest of time. And if you didn’t recognize some of those exercises, that’s because they don’t exist, but we made our best educated guess where it left us without an explanation. The general consensus was that AI’s plan was to end us all there in its effort to take over the world, but the PAX valiantly pushed through some really hard stuff. It was a sight to behold. We finished out right on time (excluding that 3rd round of the circuit) and Valve prayed us out (including the presumably real intentions offered by PAX in the past).

    Who knows, maybe YHC will pull this tactic again in a pinch.

    SYITG,

    Cardinal

  • Basketball Jones 2: Popeye Wanted Coupons – from Paradox

    “I’ve seen this disease process before” YHC sighed as he looked through the window at the man across his street. He was shooting free throw after free throw in his driveway , darting to get rebounds and boxing out his young children. They never stood a chance. Had he left cataracts on the table to come home and work on his game? The world may never know. YHC wasn’t sure how advanced the affliction was and emergent consult was needed.

    “Yup, seen this one hundreds of times , You have to treat it before it progresses“ YHCs M (who finished much higher in her respective med school class than YHC ) reported, as we watched him miss layup after layup while the sun faded over St Johns Place.

    She looked at YHC with concern and understanding …

    “You know there’s only one cure for the Basketball Jones…”

    Duke!! Stop practicing your sky hook and roll the beautiful footage!

    8 ballers strong at the Den today. YHC put out the late bat signal for a few bballs and these guys never disappoint. The Den has previously produced some deep magic (shoes/no shoes) and two separate light up basketballs from two distinct houses on a day when the lights are out on the court?! The amazingness only added to the divine mystique of the Den providing what the pax need for that days beatdown.

    Standard Warmup with Ronnie reminding YHC of his flag duties , midway through and a seamless transition setting them up. Further contributing to YHC’s theory that it will take 7-8 of us to accomplish what Goose has done alone for years. ( Dont worry , We’ll edit this out for Gooses ego later)

    Coupon Indian Run with 3 OHP drop off.

    Continues to be a crowd pleaser and chatter killer.

    At the court we confirmed we would play in the dark and I set my mind to work on investigating which eye care provider sabotaged the lights for more referrals. YHC is slowly learning the Thibodaux Eye Mafia is nothing to mess with.

    We accepted the darkness would mold us and The BBJ veterans knew there’s only one proper way to start this party…

    SONG : Basketball Jones

    Cheech and Chong version

    Hold coupon OHP with high knees

    “Basketball” is a Thruster

    OR

    Al Gore with Bobby Hurley on “basketball “.

    YHC had planned to give the pax an option of a made free throw that would save us from thrusters.

    AB got off to a hot start in his sandbagging by pretending to have never seen a basketball in his entire 48 years. Unfortunately EnValve followed suit and ya know what …why don’t we just enjoy the song. It’s a lovely , politically correct song after all.

    Next up :

    “Around the World”

    Increasing Bobby Hurleys on corners. 1-11 (in honor of our favorite Duke Alum, Mr Bobby Hurley. He was #11)
    At corner 4/ Thruster Station (reps #4, 8, 10, 6, 2)

    You can do regular scheduled reps OR go double or nothing.

    Make your free throw and you can skip your thrusters , miss your free throw and do double reps.

    Transport:

    Run -side shuffle -Nur

    This is where AB took off his Scooby Doo villain mask and revealed he was actually there to teach a dadgum free throw seminar. Honeysuckle gave him a good run but AB edged him out to win the race and listen to a few seconds of planked up Hit Team while the less fortunate pax finished. The “Cardinal phenomenon” continues to amaze me. When a man is placed between thrusters or relative comfort his body will produce unimaginable athleticism. (Or in cardinals case , Star Wars trivia)

    Da Main Event

    Putout/Gotcha/Lightning

    Standard rules

    One time only Buy back in 20 thrusters

    When out -mosey around the court perimeter

    SSH in line

    YHC continues to get a D minus in the “game explanation” category of beatdown construction and some pax thought they had multiple buy ins. When the confusion cleared and the riff raff took the penalty run it was Ronnie, AB and YHC to duke it out. Ronnie was only a few thrusters away from return when AB ended it with a timely layup. When the History books of F3 Thibodaux are written please make sure AB is in the top rankings for Sandbag Performance of 2024.

    Space Jam Finisher

    Suicides on song and None other than Bobby Hurleys on Jam.

    A wobbly legged Coupon Indian Run back to Flags.

    Push-up Pimp awarded to the Best of America for honoring the vocation with his good form and his sly dog tactics.

    Announcements: Saturday is open? May challenge is upon us.

    Prayer Intentions for retreatants, travelers.

    COT and Suckle prayed us out

    Epilogue :

    They met that evening again at the Basketball Jones Recovery Center to observe their patient through the window.

    Did the treatment take ? Was the cardio dose high enough? We would know shortly.

    Across the street, Right on cue , the patient stepped out of the Platinum Falcon and picked up a basketball .

    He held it for a few seconds remembering the scars then lined up a deep 3.

    Nothing but net.

    He left the ball to roll in the street and joined his kids on a bike ride.

    “Another case cured “ my wife whispered.

    I nodded and wiped a single tear.

    “Some men just need the space ya know ….the Space to Jam”

    SYITG

  • Don’t Bleepin’ Test Me Bro – from Piccadilly

    YHC feels a change is on the horizon and thought he would cash in on a long overdue Q session. As I arrived 5 minutes early for a change, Enron had beat me to the starting area due to what I’d assume a bad night sleep.

    The rest of the pax arrived and we began…

    Warm O Rama: ssh, Willie’s, mountain climbers, imperial walkers, self love…suddenly America’s Best appears, arm circles, cherry pickers…

    Warm up Indian run mosey around the track until everyone ran to the front one time then off to …

    THANG1

    The Bleep Test

    2 cones were set apart approximately 65 feet and the bleeps began. On first bleep, run to the next cone before the second bleep. Every so many rounds the window between bleeps gets shorter. If you don’t make it to second cone before second bleep, you fail, bye bye. After 2 fails based on the honor system, you’re out.
    Do ssh or air squats while watching rest of pax run and gasp for air…
    It was hard and highlighted my lack of fitness.
    Somehow the age before youth outlasted the lad and Honeysuckle prevailed over pope.

    THANG2

    7s

    Classic 7s starting with 6 burpees at first cone. Run to second cone and do 1 BBS. Complete til 1 burpee and 6 BBS.

    THANG3

    The Bleep Test

    It wasn’t any easier but maybe a bit harder. We, well not me but they, may have made it to round 7 in thang 1, but in thang 2 suckle and pope got to round 5 or 6. Honeysuckle prevails again. This dudes an animal.

    THANG 4

    7s : start with 6 ssh and 1 Bobby Hurley, complete til 1 ssh and 6 Bobby’s
    Then complete 50 merkins and 25 BBS on your own.

    With about 10 mins to 6 AM, we moseyed back to the flag and completed a casual Indian run around the big loop reminiscing about buttermilk biscuits and sir mix a lot.

    Maybe next time gents…we’ll cook up some pancakes.

    COT and Wet Tap prayed us out.

    Thanks fellas for digging deep with me this morning. Always a blessing and a privilege to sweat amongst you PAX.

    -Dilly

  • The Killian – from Smooth Operator

    4/22/24 the Killian
    Popeye
    Safety Valve
    Wet Tap

    Warmarama
    Nothing out of the ordinary

    Last year YHC led a beatdown titles the Samson. Samson was the name of one of the twins YHC and my M lost last year. Well YHC figured today was as good as any to honor his twin brother with his own beatdown called the Killian. Killian’s name comes from a character on the TV show Once Upon a Time. His character was basically a bad guy turned good pirate type. Therefore I felt a little Ruch man loop 4 corners are in order in remembrance of him.
    Therefore we moseyed over to the far corner of rich man’s loop to start thang1

    Thang 1

    Corner one would be a 30 yard bear crawl down the dead end street and lunge walk back to the first street light. From here the PAX would mosey in a clockwise manner to each streetlight and do 1 genuflection a piece throughout the whole loop. At corner 2 the pax would do 25 shoulder tap merkins before resuming our genuflection mosey.
    Corner 3 was 25 goosee and corner 4 was 25 2 is 1 Jlos. After this the fast Pax had a choice to make, they could either complete more Bearcrawl a and lunge walks till the slower pax caught up or pick the 6 up and get everyone to the finish line. The Pax kicked this thangs butt therefore YHC felt compelled to do this one again. The only difference is the PAX only had to complete 2 of the 4 corners of there own choosing. We did a burpee by each light pole instead of a genuflection. Once this was completed the PAX moseyed on back to the flag for thing 2

    Thang 2
    Traffic burpees.
    This is YHC favorite exercise with less than 10 minutes left in the beatdown, but we changed it up a little bit. For this version the PAX was in the plank position and when a car passed the PAX would d a merkin followed by a grounder and a jump squat and fall back into the plank position. The PAX watched 15 cars before the someone had planted the idea to hold 6” and do heels to heaven for the last 3 or 4 minutes.

    0600 arrived and The PAX hustled back to the flag. We counted off and Popeye prayed us out. Thanks for letting me lead fellas.

  • 4/10/24 Wednesday Warrior Tired but still Rolling along – from Smooth Operator

    4/10/24 Wednesday Warrior Tired but still Rolling along

    Pulled up with honey suckle waiting on me
    At 0515 Wet Tap showed up ready to put in work. YHC decided to add a little weight on top of our ruck sacks and pulled out a old trailer tire to accompany the PAX on our walk. The rules for today as follows

    The PAX walked in Indian ruck fashion. The last person is carrying the tire and does 3 goblet squats before fast walking to the front of the line. The PAX would continue to do this throughout the whole walk.

    At every fire hydrant the PAX would do 5 merkins with their ruck sacks on.

    At cardinals crib the PAX did 10 genuflections.

    At Yankee Jeaux’s building the Pax did 10 mountain climbers.

    At the campus police station We stopped and did 10 monkey humpers.

    We finished our ruck at 0601 and counted off and did COT. Honeysuckle prayed us out.

    Topics discussed
    -Wellness center controversy
    -Adoration chapel by St. Thomas ‘s code is 1225 for anyone wanting to spend some time in the presence of the Lord.
    -Wet Taps bathroom renovation update
    -The need to be perfect on all our home projects especially woodworking project
    -The rain

    If you wanna know more come see us for next week’s version of Wednesday Warrior
    SYITG,
    Smooth Operator

  • 4/3/24 Wednesday warrior at the colonel colosseum – from Smooth Operator

    Honeysuckle
    Wet Tap
    ManEater
    Jack knife
    Smooth Operator
    4 highly motivated ruckers met up with YHC at our new designated meet up spot.
    We started off with a lite warmarama due to mostly everyone being there and us having to cover a lot of ground this morning. We ended up doing a 5 count or so of self love before we headed north on Audubon Ave.
    The rules were explained on the way, we would be doing 10 burpees each time we crossed paths with a fire hydrant and 10 squats each time we came up on red and white street sign. The first leg of our journey heading North past John L Guidry stadium had a couple streets signs but we did not hit the first fire hydrant till we hit a double near Chick-fil-A and the student union. YHC quickly learned that 10 burpees with a ruck sack on takes more time than we would have therefore YHC graciously dropped the count from 10 to 5 burpees. The Pax was moving at a pretty good clip until we hit another hydrant located between the chapel and St. Thomas Aquinas which we did 5 genuflections along with our 5 burpees. The Pax continued on our journey and headed east on Glenwood drive where we found 3 more hydrants and we headed south down N Acadia Drive for the second half of our ruck. Around Yankee Jeaux’s building YHC looked at his watch which revealed 0545 and YHC pretty much nixed the rest of the burpees. We past between Swanner field and campus police station and headed toward the path behind the outfield of Ray E. Didier field. Once we hit the path behind the outfield it was a mad dash of a walk back to the metaphorical flag. We made it back for 0605 and did COT and named the new AO the colosseum and ManEater prayed us out. All in all the Pax knocked a little over 2 miles and did 40 burpees, 80 or so squats and 5 weighted genuflections. Not to bad for a day off.

  • Hybrids, Donkeys, and Facial Nuts: My Life in Vegan Tights – from Yankee Joe

    YHC enjoys a good prank. As such, April Fool’s Day is like Christmas. Last year, YHC revealed to the PAX that he and his family were moving to the Seattle area. The M would be taking a job with Amazon, while YHC would follow his new found passion of farming to work for a local, kumquat farm. It specialized in organic kumquat-based mineral oils and lotions – all available through an affordable monthly subscription.

    The name of the farm? “Kumquat May.”

    ——————-

    This year, the “prank” part was too wonky and to be honest, after a grueling Saturday beatdown, a little recovery was needed. YHC still got in his jokes about switching over to CrossFit and trying to recruit F3 PAX to the good side of the force. However, instead of additional pranks, YHC set out to create a unique beatdown experience. A few fellers were asked for two true statements and one ‘not so true’ statement about themselves. The PAX could then guess which was which. One’s guess about what was fact or quasi fiction would dictate the type of exercise completed.

    However, before those shenanigans, YHC had other good stuff up his singlet. In the vein of CrossFit, YHC has always wanted to include a truck tire or heavy object rope pull. Wet Tap, who may or may not have been joking, suggested the Prius on GroupMe the night before. That’s all it took.

    “Duke, stop chewing on your ass.”

    ———————

    10 PAX and one FNG pulled up to the Stage on a comfortable 70 degree mernin’. The FNG, who was recruited by Popeye, was a good ‘ol Texas boy from his hometown of Austin. In his FNG naming, we would find out that he had once been pepper sprayed by the cops outside of the Cotton Bowl, WHILE on horseback because he was mother f-ing Justin Timberlake about being a shitty mouseketeer.

    His eventual name selection of Face Nutz was based on a story not appropriate for this backblast, but suffice it to say, Nutz has a special place in Toby Keith’s heart…rest in peace.

    Anyway, YHC had gotten to the Stage about 45 minutes early to test out how the Prius would respond to being pushed in neutral. Even solo, YHC was able to get some traction for about 10 yards. There was a Plan B, but this thang was just crazy enough to work.

    After a wonky Warmarama, in which the PAX did side straddle hops…that’s it. We only did side straddle hops. 410 side straddle hops…you get it…4/1. A few pranks had to be thrown in there, after all.

    Ok, so after that, we did the first ever F3 Prius indigenous peoples push.

    ———————

    The Thang:

    PAX in two teams

    – One team pushing the Prius – one PAX in the driver seat, the other teammates pushing.

    – Second team drops off and completes 10 triple merkin burpees (burpee with three merkins at bottom before jumping up).

    – Second team then runs to relieve the Prius team

    – Continue in that way around Rich Man’s Loop (approx. ½ mile)

    ——————–

    A few observations:

    It is possible that the Live Oak HOA will finally come together and ban F3. There was no shortage of neighbors peering out their windows. Pushing a car is one thing. White Meat yelling at anyone who would listen that it gets “85 miles to the freakin’ gallon” is something entirely different. However, YHC does appreciate the solidarity. Good lookin’ out, Bro.

    Paradox could not count the triple merkins at the bottom of the burpee. This is especially interesting since he perfected the triple merkin in order to cheat during Jurptober. His entire team’s points should have been thrown out.

    Wet Tap and Smooth could have simply carried the Prius around RML by themselves. Seriously, I’m not sure they broke a sweat. Smooth simply said, “ain’t this cute.”

    YHC still can’t believe how well this worked. Pushing the Prius, even with 4 to 5 people, got REAL hard, REAL quick. Steering without power was also a great arm workout. Except for the almost collision with the port-o-potty…because Face Nutz can’t drive (or maybe he couldn’t see because you know…the nutz…in the face), the PAX successfully pushed the Prius around RML and headed back to the Stage.

    ———————-

    Upon return to the Stage, the PAX completed

    – 41 burpees
    – 41 leg lifts
    – 41 J-Lo’s
    – 41 jump squats
    – 41 thrusters.

    It was during the jump squats that we heard the familiar retching of an FNG. We all looked over to see Face Nutz bent over and yakking his nutz off. However, he hadn’t moved his coupon before doing so and thus coated it with a creamy yellow bile…a color and consistency only found in Safety Valve’s Kenyan cool brew froth.

    Once the PAX finished up and the exercise circle moved upwind from Nutz’ vomit, facts were revealed. As mentioned, PAX would choose what they believed to be true versus a lie. Their choice dictated the exercises to come.

    Fact or (Quasi) Fiction

    *The first set of “facts” came from Paradox.

    1) At a birthday in middle school, a donkey kicked out his front teeth. For the next several years, through undergrad, his nickname was “Donkey Teef.”

    2) As the center for the Homer High School football team, he once sharted during a game and the quarterback, at first under center, took every subsequent snap in shotgun formation even though the head coach was threatening to bench him.

    3) He graduated from medical school

    I’ll let you, dear reader decide which of the three is false (and yes…almost everyone chose #3).

    —————————

    In the interest of time, YHC will only include the others’ most obscure, but true fact that blew the PAX’ collective mind.

    *Wet Tap “Fact”

    One of Wet Tap’s favorite songs is, “Everybody Hurts” by R.E.M. He said he loves singing this under his breath every time he gives epidurals to women in labor. One time, as he was preparing to administer the epidural, the woman heard him and burst out singing the song at the top of her lungs. Together, they sang so enthusiastically, that she prematurely went into labor and ended up having a natural birth.

    Moral of the story? Don’t ever let Wet Tap sing to your wives, boys.

    ————————-

    *Popeye “Fact”

    Popeye loves soup. His favorite soup, we found out this morning, is Cream of Asparagus. He said he literally buys the 24-can case from Costco every few weeks. I didn’t even know there was such a thing as Cream of Asparagus. What’s more, is that he likes to chill it in the fridge overnight and then sip on it like a vichyssoise on a hot summer afternoon.

    I tell you what…Popeye sure does keep you on your toes.

    ———————-

    *America’s Best “Fact”

    One time, while still living in Virginia, AB went to a fundraiser in Washington D.C. While there, he got – in his own words – tore up from the floor up, and went to the men’s room to relieve himself. While at the urinal, Peyton Manning came in and started using the next urinal over. AB was so excited that he turned to him and said, “What’s up?”

    Unfortunately, AB hadn’t finished relieving himself and pissed all over Manning’s shoes. Apparently Manning looked down in disbelief, then looked back up to AB. In his drunken stupor, AB simply paused, zipped up, and yelled, “Omaha, Omaha!” and ran out of the bathroom.

    ———————

    *Goose “Fact”

    In high school, Goose joined a choreographed choir group that toured around and performed show tunes. He joined because he had a crush on a girl who was in the troupe. However, after about six months, the girl quit the group, but Goose, by this point, loved every bit of it.

    In fact, he was apparently, really good. He started branching out with other groups. Due to his height as well as athletic coordination, he was offered a full ride scholarship to the Academie d’ Chaussettes Sales in Paris…wait for it…Kentucky. Paris, Kentucky.

    However, as we all know, at that point, he had turned it down to follow God’s call to join the seminary.

    ———————-

    After all songs were played and penalty exercises were completed, YHC had one more treat in store for the PAX! In fact, YHC had been working on this thang for months. The logistics to carry it out were a bit over the top and may or may not have impacted YHC’s marriage.

    Looking back over the morning, however, it may have been YHC’s finest hour.

    COT and Pope prayed us out.

    SYITG,

    Yankee Jeaux

  • Our Consolation Is Abundant – from Yankee Joe

    First and foremost, welcome to @ZZ Leggs and @Elton. The joy of watching Goose and Reluctant Yankee (DRing from NOLA) go Beautiful Mind on us during FNG naming was a gift in itself. Both names are classic. Elton may be YHC’s favorite since the naming of Honeysuckle.

    YHC has several grumpy old man pet peeves. One of them is the abundant and obnoxious misuse of the word, “awesome.” That said, YHC should admit he uses the work WAY too much himself. It’s harder to stop saying it than, for example, crossing through the eye of a needle…or perhaps catching the eye of a German optometrist.

    To be awesome invokes the fullness of awe. Awe is typically invoked by events such as universe creation, miracles, defeating death, etc. So, when I hear certain PAX who are in their early 20’s and hail from LaRose say, “Bruhhh, those hot wings were AWESOME,” it makes one stop and ponder life in some confusion (and maybe sadness).

    Recently, YHC just reached his two-year Manniversary with F3. As many can relate, the F3 experience has been nothing short of a miracle. Sound melodramatic? Well, you be the judge. When YHC moved his family to Thibodaux, he had a few good acquaintances and some old “friends” from previous life chapters. His physical health was right in line with an early 40’s bro who often thought about the glory days. From time to time, he would run for a week or two after seeing a picture in which he saw the gut sticking out. YHC had no faith practice to speak of. Prayers happened when the S#&@ was hitting the fan or he was getting his teeth kicked in by life, in general.

    Blessed as he was to have a beautiful and growing family, along with a solid-ish career track, there was always something missing. “Something missing” is a dangerous place for a man to hang out…in between his ears…looking at deceivingly greener pastures elsewhere.

    So…with F3 came:

    1) meaningful friendships;

    2) the best physical/emotional shape in his life…since 1997;

    3) an awakening toward a faith life, leading ultimately to a full conversion to Catholicism;

    4) everything rich fruit that bountifully follows as a result of the previous three points.

    Still sound melodramatic? Deal with it, Pop.

    Coming up on his first year since confirmation in the Catholic Church, YHC is certainly not on the ballot for any ‘rookie of the year’ awards. That said, his faith has deepened in ways he never knew possible. Having never walked the Stations of the Cross before, it is these types of faith engagement of which YHC is just starting to now scratch the surface. And dang, bro…it’s some powerful stuff.

    After some thought and clumsy prayer, YHC settled on a ‘Stations of the Cross’ beatdown for Holy Saturday. The night before, YHC had a vision for how this could play out: 14 cones (or cawhns in North Louisiana). At 11 pm that night, the cones were no longer dramatic enough. YHC needed more.

    12 cinders and 12 cedar fence boards later, seven (7) crosses were hastily built. The PAX would go seven stations out (20 yards in between) and seven stations back. We would treat it as closely as time would permit to actually walking the Stations.

    However, in our version, we would lunge-walk with coupons in between stations (aka…walking genuflections) to symbolize bearing our own crosses. For each station, YHC read the leader’s prayer, the PAX responded, selected scripture was read aloud, followed by three (for the Triduum) exercises for the station. The third exercise was designed to consistently be six (6) man makers. Why? God made man on the sixth day.

    We would not have time to complete all exercises for all stations, but the PAX arrived at the 14th Station with two minutes to spare, picked up their coupons and sprinted back to the flag. The lunge-walks were brutal, the man makers were nauseating, and the side by side partner squats were disturbing…but not as awkward as the Suzanne Somers goblet squats.

    YHC will refrain from further narration. It’s not about him or the PAX…or the external validation derived from a quality backblast. On Saturday, seventeen men and soon to be men entered into Christ’s Passion.

    It was actually…

    Awesome.

    ————————————–

    Stations

    I. Jesus Is Condemned to Death
    20 Prisoner squats
    20 Nolan Ryans – both sides
    6 man makers

    II. Jesus Carries His Cross
    20 Goblet squats
    20 WWI sit-ups (no block)
    6 man makers

    III. Jesus Falls the First Time
    20 Burpees
    20 Mountain climbers (2:1)
    6 man makers

    IV. Jesus Meets His Mother
    20 flutter kicks w block
    20 WW2 Sit-ups with block/ or modify without
    6 man makers

    V. Jesus Is Helped by Simon of Cyrene
    20 partner air squats (side by side)
    20 Alternating partner shoulder tap merkins
    6 man makers

    VI. Jesus Is Comforted by Veronica, Who Wipes His Face
    20 apolo ohno’s (1:1)
    20 chilcutt jacks
    6 man makers

    VII. Jesus Falls Again Beneath the Weight of the Cross
    20 burpees, hand release merkins at bottom
    20 LBCs w/ block
    6 man makers

    VIII. Jesus Comforts the Women of Jerusalem
    20 Suzanne Somers (squats, toes pointed out)
    20 J-Lo’s (2:1)
    6 man makers

    IX. Jesus Falls for 3rd Time
    20 Bonnie Blair’s (2:1)
    6 man makers

    X. Jesus Stripped of His Clothes
    20 Thrusters
    6 man makers

    XI. Jesus Nailed to the Cross
    20 Star jumps
    6 man makers

    XII. Jesus Dies, Commending Himself to the Father
    20 genuflections
    20 V-ups
    6 man makers

    XIII. Jesus is Taken Down from the Cross and Placed in the Arms of Mary
    20 WW3 sit ups w/ block or modify to WW2 sit ups
    20 Leg lifts holding block straight up
    6 man makers

    XIV. Jesus is Placed in the Tomb of Joseph of Arimathea

    Coupon run back to flag
    6 man makers

  • Questionable Records – from Honeysuckle

    Nine men emerged from the gloom to join YHC at the stage on a wet Tuesday Tuff morning.
    They had been promised trivia and records, but first a few things had to be taken care of.  

    Warmarama: SSH, Imperial Walkers, Willie Mays Hayes,Windmills, Arm Circles (F/R), Cherry Pickers, Carolina High Knees, Carolina Butt Kicks, Mountain Climbers 

    Thang 1

    Mosey toward Rich Man’s Loop and stop at The Point.  PAX were divided into two teams.  These teams would be together for the duration of the beatdown.  Team 1 would nur to the next light pole, then run to the following light pole, and then do 5 burpees.  The team could not proceed until all members did their 5 burpees.  Then they would begin again with a nur.  Team 2 would do the same thing, but start with a run and do a nur second.   

    YHC was asked, “Is this a race?”  It was not a race in the sense that who the “winner” was didn’t affect anything in the rest of the beatdown.  The de facto result of being the winner was that you got to the coupons first.  Which was something that would matter (a little) today.

    After some initial jockeying for the lead of the non-race, the two teams became staggered so that Team 1 was finishing burpees as Team 2 arrived to begin theirs.  From a congestion management perspective, this was a nice result.  

    The teams were to not visit Financially Stable Man’s Alley today but instead head straight for the coupons.  Around the same time that Team 1 was arriving to the coupons, which would have also been a convenient time to use the bathroom due to the Port-o-Let there, a mysterious white truck also arrived to the area.  As YHC was with Team 2, it is only hearsay that the Team 1 PAX attempted an EH at which point only the sound of electronic door locks being engaged could be heard.  In reality, the truck was from Lowe’s, trying to track down a pallet load of cinder blocks that a man in alpaca fur stole from them Ocean’s Eleven style. 

    Team 1 graciously grabbed extra coupons for Team 2 so that a full Port-o-Let visit wasn’t required.   

    Thang 2

    After returning to the stage area, the second thang was revealed.  YHC would announce an exercise for the PAX to begin, and play a song from the classic rock era (all well etched in YHC’s memory due to decades of listening to Eagle 98.1), and the team in control (control would alternate between teams 1 and 2) had roughly 30 seconds to name the artist and song title.  If both weren’t named, then the other team would be allowed to guess for 30 seconds.  At the end of this time, a team would have either 0, 1, or 2 correct guesses, corresponding to some exercises.

    0=10 thrusters
    1 = 5 thrusters
    2 = 2 thrusters

    But that’s not all!  The song would continue, and the exercise would continue, long enough for YHC to ask some additional trivia questions tangentially related to the song.  Each correct answer here would subtract one thruster.  YHC forgot the list of exercises at home so we did the best we could.  As you will see, YHC forgot a lot of the results of the day but you will get the gist of it.   

    Song 1 exercise: Crab dip

    YHC continues to try to champion this move but there is little traction so far.  The song wasPurple Haze by Jimi Hendrix.  Team 1 got both these.  YHC asked what brewery makes Purple Haze (Abita), what style beer is it (Lager).  What two types of particles can cause a haze (smoke, dust), and dust from what area sometimes causes a haze in the southeast US during the summer (Sahara desert) 

    Song 2 exercise: Tempo squats

    The song was Slow Ride by Foghat.  I believe this one was split?  Other trivia questions: Slowest mammal (sloth), slowest sea creature (seahorse), name of an air mass over a body of water that can produce fog/clouds (marine layer).  Marine layer was one of the few times the PAX was stumped.   

    Song 3 exercise: Hold Al Gore?

    The song was Won’t Get Fooled Again by the Who.  By this point, it was starting to become clear that America’s Best knew all the answers and was just waiting until time was almost up to sneak in his guesses. Trivia dealt with famous April Fools jokes according to Google, such as what number with non-repeating digits did the Alabama legislature try to change (pi), what did they want to change the value to (3)?  Taco Bell announced it purchased this US Landmark to help pay down the national debt (Liberty Bell).  The last line of the song may be its most famous; what is it? (Meet the new boss, the same as the old boss.) 

    Song 4 exercise: Merkins?

    Radar Love by Golden Earring.  This was split, with AB coming up with the band name in the follow up round.  The trivia dealt with the words making up the acronym radar (Radio detection and ranging).  This took a while, and the PAX didn’t get “ranging”.  But then after we stopped YHC remembered the other questions.  RADAR is spelled the same forward and backward, what is the name for that (Palindrome).  Fill in the blank of this palindrome: A man. A plan. A canal. _____ (Panama).  PAX were on top of all this.   

    Song 5 exercise: Apollo ohnos ?

    FM by Steely Dan.  Did I mention Team 1 wasn’t doing many thrusters today?  Trivia: What does FM mean (Frequency modulation).  The line from the song “no static at all” is a comparative reference to what (AM radio).  What does AM mean (amplitude modulation).  Several PAX knew all these but Goose notably ate these questions up. YHC avoided asking any questions related to the origin of Steely Dan’s name.  

    Song 6 exercise: LBCs?

    LA woman by the Doors.  YHC shouldn’t have even asked Team 1 to get coupons today.  Trivia: YHC is thinking of 10 men’s professional sports teams in the LA area.  Name them.  Credit only starts after 6 are named.  (Rams, Chargers, Angels, Dodgers, Lakers, Clippers, LA Galaxy were all guessed. Others are Ducks, Kings, LA Football Club).  Then, name two women’s professional teams (Sparks (guessed), Angel City Football Club not guessed). 

    Song 7: WWI sit ups?

    Surrender by Cheap Trick. Name the place where Lee surrendered to Grant (Appomattox Courthouse).  Name the country that surrendered to end WWII (Japan). 

    Song 8 (bonus, 1 minute left)

    Kashmir by Led Zeppelin.  This song was sampled by what hip hop artist (Puff Daddy).  What was the name of that song?  At this point, Enron swooped in and answered the as-of-yet unasked question, what movie was the song in? (Godzilla).  This is the question that YHC didn’t think anyone would get the answer to, yet alone offer as a fact unsolicited.  

    By the way, the name of the song is “Come with me”.  Time ran out before YHC got to ask a few sweater-related questions (“No, it’s a cardigan, but thanks for asking”).  And several songs remained unplayed, including one by Cream which would have made Popeye happy, along with some cooking related questions.  Maybe next time.    

    Announcements; Wet Tap prayed us out. 

    YHC is impressed once again by the dedication and effort of the PAX, and today their mental muscles were on display as well.  It was a privilege to Q this morning.  

    SYITG,
    Honeysuckle