IN THE COURT OF PUBLIC OPINION FOR THE REGION OF NEW ORLEANS
F3 NATION, et al.
Plaintiffs,
v.
F3 NOLA, JINGLE VADER (Q), et al.
Defendants
Civil Action No. 24-0001
DEFENDANTS’ MOTION TO DISMISS COMPLAINT
In the matter of F3 NOLA vs. F3 Nation, the defendants, hereafter referred to as F3 NOLA, hereby move for dismissal of the charges brought forth by F3 Nation. The allegations assert that individuals participating in workouts at Wolfpack Mountain fail to produce a summary of their activities, commonly referred to as a “Backblast.”
I. Grounds for Dismissal:
1. The defendants plead that their reluctance to provide a Backblast is rooted in their status as Luddites, demonstrating an aversion to modern technological practices.
2. F3 NOLA asserts that their indifference extends beyond matters unrelated to Uptown New Orleans, rendering the requirement for a Backblast irrelevant to their operational ethos.
3. The defendants argue that the language employed in workouts is often unsuitable for a professional environment, thus justifying their refusal to produce such documentation.
4. F3 NOLA contends that the imposition of Backblasts may inadvertently subject them to unwarranted scrutiny regarding allegations of child abuse, posing a potential risk to their reputation.
5. The defendants maintain that their objection to Backblasts is grounded in their general aversion to being directed or supervised, asserting their autonomy in matters related to workout documentation.
In light of the aforementioned grounds, F3 NOLA respectfully requests this Honorable Court to grant the motion to dismiss, thereby absolving them of the charges brought forth by F3 Nation and allowing them to focus on Side Straddle Hops, Low Slow Squats, Burpees, Hillbillies, Blimp Ladders, Dora and Mary (which includes Twisties).
Dated: January 12, 2024
Respectfully submitted,
JINGLE VADER
Workout Q
:HC
Clever & funny