Im a Virgin and this is my first time. April Fools, Fools.
Im a Virgin and this is my first time. April Fools, Fools.

Im a Virgin and this is my first time. April Fools, Fools.

Date:04/01/19
QIC:Angies List
PAX:douille, jadaveon, saban, ysr, tinkles, chiquita, brown bag, landing strip, bones, jingle vader, seaman, khakis, col. mustard, bartman, hedgehog, nip tuck, peppa, sandbar, reluctant yankee

YCH was recovering from a loooong Hogs for the Cause weekend, sound asleep, when at 11 PM Yankee texted letting me know I had the Q in the morning. Somehow wires had been crossed and I had been under the assumption for weeks that my VQ was to be this Friday. Nope. I rose early Monday Morning and devised a plan recalling the dream I had that woke me at 2 AM and kept me up for an hour. In said dream YHC had lead the PAX through a beatdown but stepped into the latrine for a sec. Inside he was distracted by his Instagram feed and when he was done scrolling the time was 6:54 AM and the entire PAX had vanished with no COT. That shook me a little. Needless to say I was taking my VQ seriously.

20 PAX assembled in the unusually late season cool gloom to greet me and after a brief disclamier we mosey’d to the grass near Exposition and Magazine.

THE WARM UP

  • SSHx20
  • ACX10
  • RACX9 (Just to mess with Seaman)
  • WMx20
  • on you face for-
  • MCx20
  • Stay down. That means you Jingle Vader.
  • PPx20
  • PPx20
  • Merkinsx20

Next we mosey’d to the rowbars and split into 4 groups.

  • Group 1 10 burpees
  • Group 2 Plank Jacks
  • Group 3 Squats
  • Group 4 Rowbar Pull Ups

YHC then asked the PAX whether we should form 2 lines or one for a quick Indian Run to the fountain. 2 was the consensus so we took off in 1 very long Indian Run. Not april fools.

AROD

  • YCH devised a clever idea for the next activity during the Indian Run. DORA spelled backward is AROD. DORA has only existed on the South end of the park until now. Flipped the spelling and the location. Clever, no? Muy. Anyway The Thang was to pair up and complete 3 exercises while your partner ran a loop around the side of the fountain area. I called some audibles. The first was to scratch 100 burpees. There is always Friday.
  • 100 Merkins
  • 200 Plank Jacks
  • 300 Dips (quickly modified to 100 after attempting post-merkin dips.

After that we got in 2 lines and headed back South for a long half-assed Indian Run. Pulled over by the Prytania entrace to hit the grass and do some PAX choice Mary. I am sure I am remembering this wrong but here goes.

  • Reluctant Yankee- Low Country Crab (of course) (PAX eye roll)
  • Jingle Vader- Dying Cockroach.
  • Brown Bag- WW2 Situps
  • Nip Tuck- Might have been American Hammer?
  • Someone- LBC’s?
  • Bartman maybe Boxcutters?

Finish up with Mary and wonder aloud about the time. Someone makes a cute remark so 10 burpees on your own. Another cute remark bring the total to 15. Not April Fooling today. Yankee did not do 15. Not April Fooling again.

Mosey back to the flag with a sprint to finish out the last 200 yards. YHC pushed it a little early and flamed out before the finish. Might have been the self administered burpees. Might have been the 34 pounds of pork consumed over the weekend. Might have been the keg of beer. Probaly a little of all 3.

Couple of minutes left so I have Brown Bag lead us in some Yoga during which he tells us all about how much better the view is when his personal Yoga instructer “Logan” is with him. Another collective PAX eyeroll.

Countoff and Name-o-rama, not nicknames for God sake Tchip “Tchinkles” Roth. We welcomed Khakis who posted from some far away land. Feel free to tell me from where.

Announcements-

I tell everyone again this is my VQ. Apparently no one heard the first time. Everyone is surprised. Mostly due to the skill with which my Beat Down was dispensed but also due to the fact I have attend pretty religiously for 14 months and have slipped through the Q cracks.

-Long, shadeless run at the Belle Chasse Navy Base “Need For Speed” 5k. Takes place 4/13. Static displays of aircraft and me in a heap at the end of the 10,000′ runway. Kenny Loggins “Danger Zone” will be blasted on repeat. Naval aviatiors will be wearing Ray-Bans, bluejeans and not much else playing sand volleyball. Peppa plans to buzz the tower and on and on.

-Brown Bag sells beer and has new beer he is selling.

-Speaking of beer, Urban South is having a YUGE 3 year anniversary 4/6. Lots of beer, crawfish and family friendly fun.

-There may have been other which I have forgotten.

Intentions are called, especially keeping Hawgcycle in our thoughts. Prayers are offered up thanking Sky Q for the ability to better ourselves and for the gift of our F3 Brotherhood.

Thank yall for keeping me accountable and the opportunity to lead.