F3 New Orleans

Tag: Bartman

  • Hello Ladies

    “You guys make me so happy” – lady in the park

    “So many men and so little time” – lady at PJs

    “Go to the monkey bar, that’s where she stops….I’d pay to have her body slam me.” – Angie’s List

    urban dictionary –

    hello ladies
    what u say when u enter a room full of either
    a. nothing but fine women
    b. nothing but dorky guys
    c. one girl and more than 3 guys

    15 pax showed up for monday morning beatdown and a bit of flaunting for the ladies of Uptown.

    Quick disclaimer then moseyed to the bandstand. Warm-up: SSH x20, IW x15, Grass grabbers x15

    Moseyed to the track – Ran two running men then three burpees stopping at 12 burpees.

    COP #1 – 12 merks, 12 RTs (the ole Valdimirs) & 12 squats

    Back to track for another round of two running men, 3 burpees up to 12.

    COP #2 – 12 shoulder taps, 12 LBT & 12 Lunges

    Another round of two running men, 3 burpees up to 12 stopping at the benches.

    COP # 3 – 12 Derkins, 12 RFM, 12 LLSU, 12 RLSU & 12 Dips

    Prisoner run to the green for Mary: 20 Flutters, 15 hello dollys, 15 high dollys, 15 parker peters on elbows, 15 peter parkers

    Last round of two running men, 3 burpees up to 12 stopping at the monkey bars. Four groups – 12 pull-ups, RTs, merks & jump sqauts

    Ran back on the track to flag for plank-o-rama & 20 sec MI.

    Count-off, name-o-rama & prayer.

    Thanks for starting the week off right.

  • Rooster wants in

    I was about to go to bed on Tuesday night but I decided to check the Q in the AM and man was I disappointed to see that no one had signed up yet. So I took the Q and planned a run free beatdown in prep for the Gnarly Nutria later that night.

    The Humidity was ridiculous today.

    Jogged us over to the bandstand. Here we did a warmup SSH x 20, Lunges forward and backward x 20, Peters x 20, Merks x 15, Mtn CLimbers x 20, and Imp Walker Squats x 21

    Then we jogged over to the row bars.

    At the row bars we did Row x 20 as the count: other stations Burpees, Dying Roaches

    Then we hustled back to the bandstand. Here the rooster made his presence known. Lots of good mornings from that guy. We definitely wanted in on the circle. I wanted to save my legs for the Gnarly Nutria so we focused on core.

    PLANK O RAMA: 40 secs on the clock – 12 sec break I used a clock timer instead of counting cadence…Regular, Shoulder Taps, ABC Plank Jacks, Toe Touch, Parker Peters, Bear Crawl Jump, Plank Walk Reg, Glute Bridge with Leg Raises, Elbow Plank Punch, JLOS

    MARY: Again I used the clock to keep time on the activities. Hip Dips Left and Right, Fire Hydrant, Donkey Kick, Y T W, LBT, Bow to Superman, Russian Twist, Knees up with rotation, Full Dead Bug, Slow Bicycle O Mary, Low Country Crab

    We had just a few min left so we went to the benches: Dips, Delcine Toe Taps, and Bulgarian Slpit lunge L/R.

    Then we moseyed back to the flag – still getting heckled by Rooster.

    11 PAX in prep for the Gnarly Nutria!

  • Gnarly Nutria IV The Uptown Funk

    Gnarly Nutria IV The Uptown Funk

    YHC began Wednesday morning like any other Wednesday morning with a quality 45 minute beatdown at Popeyes (this Wednesday led by the always dangerous Darkwing Duck). YHC’s thoughts quickly turned to the Gnarly Nutria as a nutria was spotted by Hokie Pokey running in the grass near the Pax. YHC took this as a strong omen for an upcoming victory for the World. The native nutria had come out from its hole to bless the World on the morning of the Gnarly Nutria.

    YHC’s confidence continued to grow as he arrived at the Gnarly Nutria to see members of the World surrounding him as the World came out in force. Surely the World would continue their winning streak and extend their dominance over the Uptowners on their home turf. Reluctant Yankee shouted out the rules and scoring system and led the racers to the starting line.

    A record 91 men lined up for the 4th running of the Gnarly Nutria. 51 for the World. 28 for the Uptowners. 12 for the Northshore. After an odd 2 minute countdown, the runners were off in the humidity and the heat for 5.4 miles of sweaty, stupid joy.

    As YHC rounded the first turn of the Gnarly Nutria with Tua and Heisenberg by his side, he his extreme confidence in a victory began to fade and he knew the world might be in trouble in spite of their superior numbers. A mass of Uptowners burst forward past him with a speed the World would be unable to match.

    Then the funk hit. YHC doesn’t want to know what the Uptowners are doing in their fabled Audubon park but the stink of the park was strong last night and surely slowed down the time of the World and the NorthShore who aren’t accustomed to the Uptown Funk.

    Flatline can hold his head high and claim the title “Fastest Man in F3NOLA” for the next 12 months. Flatline finished the Gnarly Nutria IV in a blistering fast 33 minutes. ESPN8 came in second with 35 minutes. In-Time came in third with a time of 38 minutes. Mulligan finished fourth with 39 minutes and Isobar rounded out the top 5 with 39 minutes and 40 seconds.

    4 of the top 5 were Uptowners with In-Time the top finisher for the NorthShore and Shuffles coming in 7th with the top place for the World. Thanks to their domination in speed, the Uptowners overcame the World’s superior numbers.

    The Uptowners won Gnarly Nutria IV with 326 points.

    The World came in second with 260 points

    Northshore came in third with a respectable 127 points coming from only 12 runners.

    Tripleshift wins the award for most significant run of the night as he rucksaked the race in honor of Terabyte who went to be with his Savior, Jesus Christ earlier this year.

    Bogey wins the award for most beautiful face of the night. Thanks for keeping score and being the pretty face waiting for us at the finish line.

    The After Party

    The Pax of 91 – 5 gathered together for post-race Name-O-Rama and the announcements of the winner and top finishers. The Pax began with a moment of silence and prayer thanking God for Terabyte and the role he played in F3NOLA.

    Followed by a far too long Counterama, followed by a far too long Name-O-Rama, the Pax named 9 FNGs. I am guessing that is a new F3NOLA FNG record. Welcome to Mallrats, Bangs, Johnny Football, Polaroid, Mumbles, Body Shots, Incandescent, Apollo, and Hot Pants.

    The Pax gathered together for the infamous sweaty ball-o-man as YHC closed the Pax out in prayer thanking God for the evening and asking Him to use F3 to impact the lives of more men in NOLA. F3 means so much to all of us and may we not hog and hide the friendship, accountability, and growth we have received in F3. Continue to find those men at your work, neighborhood, and in your families who are isolated and struggling. The average American man has less than one friend. YHC has 91. You have 91. Pass this friendship on to others.

    Your Humble Correspondent,

    Rev Sox

    The Results

    1. Flatline
    2. ESPN8
    3. In Time
    4. Mulligan
    5. Isobar
    6. Waterpik
    7. Shuffles
    8. Turbo Tax
    9. Cavalier
    10. Mahatma-Ice
    11. Screw Top
    12. Cowbell
    13. Tinkles
    14. Saban
    15. Fetch
    16. Baby Bjorn
    17. FNG Alex
    18. El Guapo
    19. Sea Biscuit
    20. Sandbar
    21. Rudy
    22. Ya Mom’n Dem
    23. 86
    24. Shorty
    25. SOGO
    26. Jadaveon
    27. Two Yutes
    28. FNG Deano?
    29. Backdraft
    30. Jesus Juice
    31. Nip Tuck
    32. FNG
    33. Heisenberg
    34. Speedy Gonzalez
    35. Quarter Pipe
    36. Bartman
    37. Rev Sox
    38. Tua
    39. FNG
    40. Shooter
    41. FNG
    42. Pai Gow
    43. Amnesia
    44. Bongo
    45. FracSac
    46. Ocho
    47. FNG
    48. Einstein
    49. Nine Lives
    50. Kuch
    51. Kiss
    52. Tool
    53. Baywatch
    54. Gideon
    55. Chewy
    56. Reluctant Yankee
    57. Gumby
    58. FNG
    59. PoBoy
    60. Woz
    61. FNG
    62. FNG
    63. War Eagle
    64. Tanner
    65. FNG
    66. Hawg
    67. Surge
    68. Chowda
    69. Chips
    70. Darkwing Duck
    71. Hokey Pokey
    72. Triple Shift
    73. Jose 10k
    74. Bushwacker
    75. Brown Bag
    76. Earmuffs
    77. Squeal
    78. Moist
    79. DaParish
    80. Uncle Si
    81. Colonial
    82. Mambi
    83. Short Bus
    84. Left Eye
    85. King Kong
    86. Amnesty
    87. Seaman
    88. Cash Bar
    89. Gold Bar
    90. FNG
    91. FNG

  • Braving the Mountain through the Harsh Mist and Drizzle

    Although lightning and thunder was forecast for Friday morning, the city of New Orleans was lucky to avoid the worst, especially after Wednesday. So 31 PAX gathered on a gloomy, humid, damp Friday morning intent on running some ramps in a parking lot for no reason other than the fact it’s hard.

    A brief, yet still somewhat rambling disclaimer was given, and at 5:30 we set off to get after it.

    Warm-up

    Mosey up St. Charles and back down to grassy area in front of Tulane for a quick warm-up of

    • SSHx20
    • ISWx20
    • Peter Parker Peter x20 each
    • Arm Circles 10/10
    • 10 burpees OYO to clear our heads of the backwards counting that always throws YHC off.

    Mosey to the base of the Mountain for

    • 10 Merkins I/C, sprint one ramp, mosey one ramp
    • 10 Burpees OYO, sprint one ramp, mosey one ramp
    • 10 8-count bodybuilders OYO, sprint one ramp, mosey one ramp
    • 10 angle grinders I/C, sprint one ramp, mosey one ramp
    • Bernie Sanders one ramp, mosey one ramp

    When we arrived at the top, it was a bit damp for the work we needed to do, so we headed down a level for some Catch Me if You Can in 3 rounds and 3 lines to keep it moving:

    • Rd 1: Squats while everyone else holds Al Gore; (when the person in front of you hits 5, you start, at 10, you run down a ramp and back up the stairs and back in line)
    • Rd 2: jump squats
    • Rd 3: jump lunges

    Next, a little tabata for fun. Nothing quite gets the heart rate up like some high intensity tabata. 25 on/10 off. 8 exercises, crowd choice. We ended up doing:

    • flutter kicks
    • Box cutters
    • Burpees
    • 8 count bodybuilders
    • merkins
    • LBC’s
    • 2 other exercises I cannot remember

    The rule was, if you don’t remember the exercise you suggested when it’s up, then we do burpees. Incidentally and unrelated, everyone remembered his exercise.

    Finally, some Mary to seal the deal. 5 exercises

    • American Hammers (FracSac)
    • Leg raises (King Kong)
    • 3 exercises by YHC I cannot remember

    Mosey back to the Flag and arrive exactly at 6:15… or you know, right around that time. COT, name-o-rama, and a prayer of thanks. Thanks for letting this lakeview pax lead the uptown workout.

  • The oracle says…

    Dirty MacDeuce at a HUMID gloom at the Birdcage.

    Circle up for disclaimer then we mosey’d across the street to the soccer field.

    Standard warm up: SSH, Imp Walker Squats, Pickle Pounders, and LBCs x 20

    Then we mosey’d to the statue of John James Audubon to honor the man who we named our beatdown after – The Birdcage with a DIRTAY MAC.

    We ran the loops in front of the zoo all the way to magazine and back.

    One lap then low slow squats, merks, and lbcs x 12

    one lap = .33 miles

    Lap 2 – reg squats, staggard merks L, and roaches x 12

    Lap 3 – then lunges, staggard merks R, and hip dips L x 12

    Lap 4 then jump lunges, diamond merks and hip dips R x 12

    Long mosey back to the shelter by the FLAG.

    Busted out an exercise dice aka The Oracle.

    Random PAX threw the DICE at a wall – we got 30 Russian Twists, 30 Mtn Climbers, 20 Merks, 30 Russian Twists, and 30 Jump Lunges

    Then we circled up outside of the shelter – tried to EH the muscle dude with a bike. Low Country Crab x 20, and Lunge Walks x 20

    Back to the FLAG – a little early so we had a mini-plank o rama.

    Thanks for the opportunity to lead!

    RY

  • Attack the Mountain

    It was a humid June morning when I arrived at the flag on Friday. After some stretching & some talking, the clock hit 5:30am, and it was time to commence the beatdown. We did a brief jog down the street and then we circled up once we got back to Loyola

    Warm Up:

    • Side straddle hops – 15 in cadence
    • Mountain Climbers – 15 in cadence
    • Grass Grabbers – 15 in cadence
    • Imperial squat walkers – 15 in cadence
    • Arm circles – 10 forward, 10 backward

    The Thang:

    After the warmup, we headed to the mountain & partnered up. Then we proceeded to do the following: Partner 1 runs to the wall & back, while Partner 2 planks & waits. When partner 1 returns, Partner 2 then runs to the wall & back, while Partner 1 planks & waits. Once Partner 2 returns, then both partners run up to the wall together & wait for the rest of the PAX to do the same. Once all the PAX arrived at the wall, I would then call out an exercise for the PAX to do on their own. Once completed, we would repeat the same sequence again & again until we reached the top of the mountain. The exercises that each partner did while waiting for the other partner to complete the run to the wall & back are:

    • Center hand plank
    • Side hand plank on right side
    • Side hand plank on left side
    • Feet 6 inches off the ground
    • Feet 12 inches off the ground
    • Feet 18 inches off the ground
    • Break (no exercise on this round while waiting for the partner to finish the back & forth run)
    • Stationary squat (tree hugger) without using the wall
    • Stationary squat with your back against the wall

    The exercises that the PAX did together when we collectively reached each wall are:

    • Seal Jacks – 20
    • Slow Squats – 20
    • Floyd Mayweathers – 40
    • Burpees – 10
    • Partner Push Ups – 15
    • Rocky Balboas – 40
    • Windmills – 15
    • Plank Jacks – 20 (2 is 1)
    • Jump Overs (one partner planks, while the other partner jumps over him) – 10

    Once we made it to the top of the mountain, we touched the last wall with our partners & then went down the steps to the bottom of the mountain. Once at the bottom, we mosey’d back to the flag for the count-off & name-o-rama. We had an FNG with us this day, and after some deliberation it was determined that he would be named Isobar. After Isobar’s name was solidified, we did the intentions & then closed with the prayer. Thanks for letting me lead, fellas; I enjoyed attacking the mountain with y’all!

  • New Challenge – The 69ers

    Few uptowners traveled the 2 miles outside of their home radius. Therefore, most never had the chance to experience the H8 on the other side of the world. F3 Nola even designed a mudgear shirt with an “H8” logo on the back. Uptown deserves to have its own challenge called the “69ers.” YHC remembers that Tool Q’ed a Mini H8 with 4 laps as a practice run for the actual H8 with 8 laps. It’s called 69ers because a practice workout will have 6 laps. When it’s time for the actual challenge, it will be 9 laps. More importantly, the laps are in figure 9 or upside down 6 route. Today, YHC only has time to Q a 6 laps practice run for the very first introduction. Hopefully in a few months, YHC will bring this challenge on with 9 laps. The goal is to finish the 9 laps within 30-32 minutes. Three figure 9 laps equal to approximately 1.25 miles. Therefore, 6 and 9 laps will be about 2.5 and 3.75 miles, respectively. Maybe one day, we can all have a mudgear shirt with a “69” logo on the back. I’m sure it will be an hot item. Just imagine Gabrielle with his tight-fit mud gear with “Gabby & 69” on his back.

    Warm-up
    19 brave PAX showed up this morning not knowing that they were about to get a piece of the “6” of the 69ers. Quick disclaimer and moseyed to the parking lot in front of Audubon Zoo with the following exercises:

    Toe Touches x 10 IC
    SSHs x 20 IC
    forward arm circles x 10 IC
    reverse arm circles x 10 IC
    Hill Billies x 20 IC
    Mountain Climbers x 20 IC

    Introduction of the 69ers

    Lap 1 – Start at point A with 6 hand-release burpees (Hurpees). Run towards Magazine Street and make a U-Turn back towards Point B. At point B – 6 more hurpees, then bear crawl for about 15 yards to point C. Then mosey back to point A. Lap 2 – same route except with 5 Hurpees at point A and B. Lap 3 with 4 Hurpees at point A and B…. you get the idea. At the last lap 6, finish with 1 hurpees and the run. Total distance for the 6 laps is about 2.5 miles. The goal was to finish the race under 20 minutes. T-claps to Beiber being the only one finishing under the 20 minutes at about 19.5 minutes. Also T-Claps to Douille and Tinkles finishing 2nd and 3rd. Tinkles finished right under 22 minutes.

    While waiting on the “6” (how fitting), PAX did rocky balboa x 20 IC. Then the PAX headed to the grass field in front of the Zoo and did a round of Mary with the following exercises:

    LBCs x 20 IC
    Hello Dolly x 20 IC
    Dying Cockroach x 20 IC

    Moseyed back to the flag for COT. During the run back, few PAX were asking YHC what’s an “H8?” Hopefully, in a couple of months, YHC will challenge not just Uptowners but all PAX to come to Uptown for the 69ers challenge (9 laps within 30-32 minutes mark). Once again, I am always grateful to workout with my F3 brothers. Thanks again for the opportunity to lead. SYITG.

    King Kong.

  • 7 of Diamonds

    19 spritely souls swam through the sea of soul-sucking humidity to stare an unfamiliar beat down straight in its sly, sweat-provoking face.

    Welcoming of PAX, giving of disclaimer, leaving of flag.

    Warm Up:

    • Mosey to field in front of Zoo
    • Side Straddle Hop x 30
    • Peter Parker x 25
    • Low Slows x 15

    The Thang:

    7 of Diamonds

    • Set up consists of 4 stations. Completing each of the 4 stations makes up 1 round. The same workout is done for the same number of reps at each of the four stations. Quick mosey between stations.
      • Round 1: Burpees x 7 (at each of the 4 stations)
      • Round 2: WWII Sit Ups x 14
      • Round 3: Merkins x 21
      • Round 4: Squats x 28
      • Round 5: Flutter Kicks x 21 (2 is 1)
      • Round 6: Lunges x 14 (2 is 1)
      • Round 7: Burpees

    Mary

    • Dying Cockroach x 20
    • Pengquins x 20
    • Real Freddie Mercury x 20
    • Nola Ryan x 10 (each side)

    Bear Crawl

    • 1/2 length of field in front of Zoo (forward)
    • 1/4 length of field (backward)
    • 1/4 length of field (forward)

    Mosey back to flag, counting of numbers, sharing of names, naming of FNG, giving of announcements, balling of men.

  • Respect the Mountain

    I’m out of practice. Secondary to other commitments I haven’t posted at Wolfpack proper in several months. I underestimated the stairwells, especially the stairwells in June. More on that later. The red Friday workout in honor of Sgt. Joey Bovia from Metairie was planned for the Uptowner. In a clear move of imitation/flattery I wanted to incorporate the 8 exercise for 31 reps scheme into today’s beat down at Wolfpack.

    Disclaimer and brief introduction of the Angry Wave duo of Bad Moon and Roots and we are off.

    Short mosey to the bench area in front of Loyola for our 8/31 warm up:

    • SSH
    • Imperial Walker
    • Mountain Climbers
    • Peter Parker
    • RLSU
    • LLSU
    • RL Bulgarian Split Lunges
    • LL Bulgarian Split Lunges

    Mosey to the Mountain for a quick regroup and two-column Indian run to the top.

    Assemble on the peak for Dora 1-2-3. Burpees, Merkins, Russian Twists (one is one) while the partner goes down the stairs to the ground level and back up the other stairs. The stairwell loop took longer than expected and once I got started I don’t think I ever caught my breath or got my heart rate back below 130. After me and G-spot each did two laps we still in the middle of Merkins and time was getting short. Audible to staying up top and finishing your reps together. Kudos to the Pax for busting ass on this. The time passed quickly but the intensity didn’t allow for much banter which I missed.

    Mosey back to the flag. 35 pax! Had to grab my phone as my hypoxic brain wasn’t going to remember beyond the guy to my right. Two FNGs who, based on the namorama video footage, didn’t look too beat down. Welcome Creeper (a legit actor whose credits include some NCIS (he played a rapist) and Jeepers Creepers 3) who gave a nice reminder that every moment is a gift from God (paraphrase). Welcome Uncle Rico (almost ‘Precursor to the Heisman’ or similar) who has a career in football (coaching) who during his HS QB days was backed up by Baker Mayfield. I look forward to learning more about these two gents.

    COT with special intentions for BellHop and his battle with cancer and for a friend of Roots whose son was in a serious ATV accident. A prayer of thanks for great men like Joey Bovia and all the veterans who died on D-day or elsewhere to secure our freedom. A prayer of thanks for the strength we get from each other. Amen.

    Thanks for the opportunity to lead!

  • Ran Back Mountain

    39 PAX met up on the last day of May, which was hot and humid. It was also the last day of the ISI challenge, and maybe that’s why we have close to 40 PAX. YHC couldn’t believe there were no FNGs with that many people. At 5:30, YHC gave his standard disclaimer and off went the PAX.

    Warm-ups

    Short mosey to the palm trees on Loyola campus and did the following in cadence:

    Windmills x 10

    Forward Arm Circles x 10

    Backward Arm Cirlces x 10

    SSHs x 20

    Hill Billies x 20

    MC x 20

    Burpees x 10 OYO (few mumblechatter to start off the day)

    PAX then moseyed to the bottom of the WPM. All PAX ran up the entire mountain backwards, but stopped at each flat level and did the following exercises:

    1. 20 x slow merkins IC
    2. 25 x LBCs IC
    3. 20 x Burpees OYO (a lot of mumblechatter here)
    4. 20 x Leg Raises IC
    5. 25 x King Kong Shoulder Taps IC (2 = 1)
    6. Fans’ favorite 20 x Burpees OYO (even more mumblechatter)
    7. 20 x Imperial Walkers IC (2 = 1)
    8. 20 x Plank Jacks IC
    9. 20 x Hello Dolly IC
    10. 10 x Burpees OYO (heard some sarcastic comments about only 10 burpees)

    At the top of the WPM, PAX enjoyed the view of the sunrise over the Superdome and Downtown NOLA for few seconds…. then a Round of Mary with the help of the PAX

    King Kong – Dying Cockroach x 20 IC

    Screw Top – Protractor for few minutes (seems forever)

    Kuch – Low Country Crabs x 20 IC

    Jesus Juice – American Hammers x 20 IC

    Yo Mama’N’Dem – WWII Sit Ups x 20

    Jesus Juice yelled out “why are you picking on the Lakeview folks?” YHC was just showing appreciation that these guys are consistently driving from LV to Uptown for a beatdown.

    Moseyed back to the flag at 6:15 a.m. A lot of mumblechatter about the burpees this morning, but we ended up with 60 burpees. We all got stronger today.

    COT

    Count-O-Rama 39 PAX, Name-O-Rama, announcements, intentions. We prayed for safe travels during the summer. We also prayed for Da Parish’s Cousin for a successful treatment at MD Anderson. We are thankful for our health and our ability to workout with each other on a regular basis. Thank You all again for the opportunity to lead. SYITG

    King Kong