F3 New Orleans

Tag: Fast Tax

  • Did I say Frisburpee? – from Fast Tax

    I could detect a hint (or was it a modicum) of disappointment in the air emanating from the 11 PAX assembled as YHC arrived to Q El Diablo this morning. Alas, what tragedy was responsible for this burgeoning discontentment? Apparently, it was seeing my hands bereft of any battle balls or Frisbee. It did not take YHC long to remember (or be reminded) that the workout description for today said “Battle Frisburpee Likely.” Not today – Sorry…

    After disclaimer, we moseyed to the rock pile area for warmups consisting of:
    • Grass Grabbers
    • 5 Penalty burpees – Rudy renaming Q’s exercises
    • 5 Penalty burpees – Rudy renaming Q’s exercises AGAIN
    • Mountain Man Poopers
    • Nancy Kerrigans – YHC was not the only one having trouble standing on one leg while sticking the other leg back and rotating both arms in circles…
    • Hairy Rockettes

    Following rock selection, we headed to the football field and lined up on the goal line for the first event, Colt 45s.
    Colt 45s are basically a broken down curl (with rock) performed IC:
    • 15 reps go from the bottom of the movement up to the halfway point (with your arms at a 90 degree angle and hands at elbow level).
    • 15 reps go from the halfway point up to the top of the bicep curl (hands up near shoulder level).
    • 15 reps start at the bottom of the movement and complete a full range of movement all the way up.

    Red Barchetta was the next event, enhanced by the musical accompaniment of Rush’s 1981 hit – Red Barchetta. PAX line up on the goal line and perform the following sequence OYO no resting:
    • 10 O/H Press; 100 yard dash, 100 SSH, run back to goal line
    • 10 O/H Press; 75 yard dash, 75 mountain climbers (2 is 1 of course), run back to goal line
    • 10 O/H Press; 50 yard dash, 50 LBCs, run back to goal line
    • 10 O/H Press; 25 yard dash, 25 merkins, run back to goal line
    • 10 O/H Press; 10 yard dash, 10 Burpees, run back to goal line

    After a 30 second breather, it was time for Captain Thor, a 1:4 ratio of BBS to American Hammer, performed OYO, increasing by 1:4 each rep, typically 10 reps. Noting the lack of gasps and groans halfway through, YHC thought we could use a couple more reps…so let’s make it 12. For those who don’t want to do the math, the last rep was 12 BBS & 48 Amer. Hammers for a total effort of 78 BBS and 312 Amer. Hammers.

    Digging deep into his repertoire of exercises for something interesting and entertaining, YHC selected Vertigos.
    PAX run to the 50 yd line but with each step you rotate so that you are always spinning as you move forward (clockwise or counter-clockwise, your choice). On reaching the 50 yd line, and letting the dizziness subside, we performed 10 absolutions and ran Vertigos back to the goal line.

    With a few minutes to spare, we paused our mosey back to the rock pile for 5 Welsh Dragons.

    Then it was back to the flag for count off, name-a-rama, announcements, and prayers.
    Happy Birthday to @Belloq

    Followed by Coffeteria at PJs.

    Thanks for the fellowship!
    SYITG

  • All About The Benjamins – from Hokie

    Seven Pax met at The Uptowner on a pleasant cool morning for a pre-coffeeteria ante

    We started warm ups, walking backwards on track with long strides around the bend and stopped on the other goal line/corner for some stretching.

    Abe Vigoda x 10
    Grass Grabbers x 10
    Bend over and reach for ground, down right leg, back to center, down left leg, back to center
    Arm Circles x 10

    After stretching “ran” backwards down the straight to the far goal line by the playground, lunged toward playground, and moseyed to rock pile where instructed to get a rock allowing us to shoulder press 25 times straight.

    Now rifle carry towards the field by gym with the two tree lines for some Benjamins

    25 Shoulder presses
    Rifle carry from one tree line to the other
    25 shoulder presses and rifle carry back to the original tree line.
    Rinse and repeat.

    100 Shoulder presses (Benjamin) complete.

    Next round after self love x 10…

    25 Curls, drop rock,
    25 Bear Crawls toward other tree line, 10 burpees, 25 Bear crawls back to 1st tree line, 10 burpees
    rinse and repeat… 50 curls in (not Benjamin, but 100 lunges Benjamin complete)

    25 more curls, 25 lunges toward other tree line, 10 burpees, 25 lunges back, rinse and repeat
    (now 100 curls complete for that Benjamin)

    15 Burpees

    Completed
    100 Shoulder presses
    100 Curls
    100 Bear Crawls
    100 Lunges
    75 Burpees (Sorry Frac)

    Mosey back to rock pile and flag.

    Thank you for allowing me to lead

  • Nothing Fancy, Just Grinding it Out – from Baywatch

    The rain missed us on Sunday and spared the PAX at Pontiff. It would have been a wet, muddy, and cold morning otherwise. Instead, the cooler temp was pleasant with an 18 mph breeze, so YHC made sure the workout wasn’t so pleasant. We headed over to the rock pile for a warmup.

    SSH 25 IC
    Mountain Climbers 25 IC
    Imperial walkers 25 IC
    Hillbillies 25 IC
    Arm Circles 15 IC (both directions)
    Grass Grabbers 10 IC

    With the warmup complete, everyone grabbed their obligatory rock and headed to the field.

    The Thang

    Grab a dance partner. While one partner is doing the rock exercise, the other partner runs to the 50 yard line and back. Then switch.

    100 over head presses
    200 curls
    300 chest presses
    400 flutter kicks

    I must admit, the curls were brutal. Although, my rock choice sure didn’t help. This took a little longer than expected so YHC cut short the next exercise. With a few minutes left, we lined up on the goal line. We bear crawled to the 20 yard line, did 5 burpees and bear crawled backed. Then we did the same thing to the 10 yard line and back.

    With rocks returned and all PAX back at the flag, we did some low slow squats and merkins IC to close out the morning.

  • Traversing the Birth Canal – from Fast Tax

    Traversing the Birth Canal

    It was a crisp, cold morning at Rock City as eleven PAX joined YHC for his 50th birthday Q.
    After disclaimer, we headed near the rock pile for warmups.

    Warmups consisted of:
    o Abe Vigodas X 10 IC
    o Nancy Kerrigans X 10 IC
    o Hairy Rockettes X 10 IC
    o Grass Grabbers IC 10
    o SSH IC 10

    Sufficiently warmed, we headed to the rock pile, grabbed medium rocks (most of us) and headed to the playground in search of YHC’s lost youth.

    The first event, which I am very uncreatively calling “Rock the Court”, pushed the bounds of comprehension/attention for many of the PAX in attendance (resulting in 10 punitive burpees before we even began) and went like this:
    Divide into 4 teams with each team occupying on corner of the tennis courts enclosure and four rocks (one for each team) placed in the center. One PAX member from each team runs to the center and performs 10 reps of the first of five selected exercises (O/H Press, Curls, Tricep Lifts, Rows, and Burpees) while the rest of the PAX are in a low plank. When he returns to his corner and low-planks, the next teammate runs to the center and does 10 of the same exercise. This repeats until all PAX on the team has had a turn, then the cycle repeats for the next exercise, and so on, until all five are complete.

    Leaving the tennis courts behind, we circled up for a round of Rocks Up (IC 15) and then it was off to the playground for YHC to deny his 50 years by proving he was still a child, or at least could act like one.

    The Playground Scramble went something like this:
    PAX start in plank while first PAX soldier crawls up the spiraled tubular slide (aptly but alarmingly described by Bolt as climbing out of the birth canal), down the ramp, through the small tunnel, then arm over arm across the monkey bars, across the balance beam, arm over arm across the next two overhead bar things then side scramble across the rock wall, all while not touching the ground (because it’s hot lava of course). Anyone touching the ground had to do 20 burpees.
    Next PAX can start up the slide after the PAX ahead of him exits the slide at the top. PAX waiting at the beginning or the end had to do continuous BBS until Q called plank or some other exercise.

    As we prepared to bring the rocks back, for a little extra entertainment, YHC thought “what kid doesn’t like a game of Indian Run?” With rocks of course. After 1 ½ cycles, YHC lost interest…time to drop off rocks and mosey to the flag.

    With a few minutes to spare, and YHC still trying to cling to his youth, we circled around the tree for Duck-Duck-Burpee, which Willie apparently forgot how to play…

    At 6:15 we headed to COT for name-o-rama, announcements, intentions, and prayer, followed by Coffeteria at PJs with a special treat (homemade coffee cake) by Mrs. Fast Tax, now affectionately called “Audit.”

    Gratitude to Bogey, Bolt, Frac Sac, Hand Grenada, Jingle Vader, King Kong, Mahatma, Scantron, Tax Credit (my 2.0), Vagabond, and Willie for being part of my birthday Q and making it so enjoyable.

    Thanks for the fellowship!
    SYITG

  • Battle Frisburpee 2.0 – from Fast Tax

    Battle Frisburpee 2.0
    It was a pleasantly coolish morning at the Uptowner as seven PAX arrived to close out the week. After a quick disclaimer, and ignoring PAX questions regarding any Battle Frisburpee rules changes, we moseyed to the field for warm ups:
    o Grass Grabbers
    o Bat Wings w/ MNC
    o Skydiving Snow Angels

    Unwilling to jump right into the highly anticipated main event, YHC kicked things off with 50 yds of Welsh Dragons:
    While remaining in plank position, PAX bear crawls forward 5 yds, do 1 merkin, 1 plank jack, and tap the BACK of each shoulder 1 time (YHC did forget this part). Repeat adding 1 rep to each exercise each 5 yds – bear crawl forward 5 yds, do 2 merkins, 2 plank jacks, 2 sets of back of shoulder taps… etc. We continued until we got to 10 reps each (50 yds), holding plank for rest of PAX to finish, then mosey back to the middle of the field.

    Thinking that PAX needed some warmup to their Frisbee throwing skills before the main event, YHC selected GO FETCH as the next thang:
    One pax throws a frisbee. All PAX sprint in that direction until frisbee lands. When it lands, all PAX stop and then lunge-walk until they get to the frisbee. First PAXD there gets to throw the Frisbee, rinse and repeat except change out lunge-walk with bear crawl, crab-walk and walk-crab, which YHC apparently got backwards…

    With 25 minutes to go, it was time for BATTLE FRISBURPEE.
    Even though YHC posted the rules on at least three different sites/channels/threads, a reminder of the rules (and a few added clarifications), was still requested by PAX in attendance.

    The revised complete rules are produced at the end of this Backblast.

    With that out of the way YHC will finish the tale…
    Team 1 (shirts): Bogie, Boo-Boo, MacGyver, and Fast Tax
    Team 2 (skins): Scantron, War Eagle, Bolt, and Fast Tax
    Since we had an odd number, YHC switched teams halfway through.

    The battle was close and hard fought with a score of 0-0 at the half. With the transition of Fast Tax to Team 2, the game took a decidedly more one-sided and aggressive (War Eagle) turn. Boo-Boo perfected the slow burpee on top of the Frisbee, while War Eagle demonstrated what full contact Battle Frisburpee could look like. YHC accidentally exhibited where not to throw the ball at an opposing player after which Bogey revealed the depths of his tenor – sorry Bogie. Team 2 pulled ahead and closed out the game 2-0.

    With game over we headed to COT for name-o-rama, announcements, intentions, and prayer.
    Followed by Coffeteria at PJs.
    Thanks for the fellowship! SYITG

    Battle Frisburpee – The Concept:
    A blend of ultimate Frisbee, soccer, and dodgeball, with an emphasis on individual burpee punishment, played running the width of a football field (sideline to sideline) as the length and the 5 and 20 yard lines as the left and right boundaries. Each side’s goal begins at the sideline and has a depth of 5 yards in from the corresponding end. This equates to a field 160 yds from end to end, excluding a 5 yd end zone on each side, and a width of 15 yards (or more if more than 10 players). The Goalie Box extends from the back of the end zone to the sideline plus 5 yards in, or 10 yards deep in total.

    Battle Frisburpee – The Rules:
    To score, a PAX must catch the Frisbee in the opposing team’s end zone (duh).
    When a team scores, the entire opposing team must do 3 burpees.
    If the Frisbee is dropped, i.e. thrown but not caught, the last person it touches (usually the one throwing it or the one who muffed the catch) must immediately drop and do 3 burpees. The Frisbee is still “live” and is treated as a fumble, any nearby PAX from either team can pick it up and resume play.

    If the Frisbee goes out of bounds, the last person it touches (usually the one throwing it or whoever it hits on the way out) must immediately drop and do 3 burpees. The Frisbee is “dead” and is treated like a soccer ball that went out of bounds, i.e. the opposing team now stands at the spot it went out and immediately resumes play (without waiting for burpees to be completed).

    If either of the player’s feet or any part of the Frisbee itself crosses the boundary, it is deemed out of bounds (clarification provided for Frac’s sake).

    Each team must appoint a “Baller” to act as a goalie of sorts. The Baller must stay in the Goalie Box if they are holding the ball and can throw the dodgeball at any approaching opposing team member, whether that person is holding a Frisbee or not. A player hit with the ball, must immediately drop the Frisbee, if carrying one, and do 3 burpees. The Frisbee is still “live” and can be picked up immediately by anyone else.

    The player is only “hit” if the ball doesn’t touch the ground first.

    The Baller is the only one who can throw the ball at an opposing player and the Baller must throw only from the Goalie Box.

    The Baller can leave the Goalie Box to retrieve the ball or teammates can retrieve for him. The opposing team cannot interfere with the retrieval of the ball.
    At any time, the Baller can elect to act as a player and run down the field but he must leave the ball in the Goalie Box, thus leaving the Goalie Box unguarded.

    If the Baller accidentally throws the ball at an opposing player’s family jewels, the hit player gets a free pass on burpees. (For Bogie)

    A player carrying the Frisbee can throw the Frisbee at an opposing player (that is guarding too closely) resulting in that player having to immediately drop and do 3 burpees.

  • The Wood – from Rev Sox

    After YHC’s run on Tuesday, he was exhausted. He comforted himself with the knowledge that tomorrow was Wednesday, and he could take the morning off, sleep in a few minutes, and do some reading.

    At 12:06pm on Tuesday, YHC received a text
    Hawg: Reminder that you have the Q at El Diablo tomorrow.
    YHC Response: Oh I forgot.
    Hawg: You are good? You can do it?
    YHC Response: None sent

    YHC awoke at 4:50am this morning with zero desire to run around Pontiff park and lift rocks. YHC wanted to sleep. YHC wanted to sleep and read. Thanks to Hawg and his stupid texts, he got out of bed, dressed for F3, walked out into the rain, and drove to Pontiff Park.
    YHC prayed a simple prayer on his drive to Pontiff. “Please Lord keep everyone home, so YHC doesn’t need to Q this morning. Encourage my brothers to rest or at least go to other AOs today.” In the Lord’s goodness, He did not give YHC the answer he sought. 7 Pax join YHC this morning.

    Following the most encouraging disclaimer in F3 NOLA history, “I don’t want to be here. I am not looking forward to this, and I made no plans for this workout. This is obviously not a professional workout. Don’t hurt yourself.” The Pax was off to mosey to the rock pile.

    The Warm-Up
    SSH – 27
    Imperial Walkers – 20
    Shoulder taps – 20
    Annies – 20
    Hillbillies – 20

    At this point Mahatma mentioned that he brought the wood, so YHC made an audible and decided to do something from different from his initial workout plans of nothing. Pax! Mosey to Mahatma’s truck.
    Sadly there were only six wood pieces in the back of Mahatma’s truck, so with eight Pax in total, YHC went the Dora route to make use of the wood.

    Dora on the Football Field
    Pair off for 100 rows, 200 curls, 300 chest press all with the wood. The partner runs forward to mid-field and backwards on the return trip to his partner while the partner knocks out the exercises.

    Route 66 but Not Really
    Drop the wood off at the flag, mosey to the rock pile, grab a rock, and go to the field lined with trees.
    10 trees are our markers. One shoulder press with rock at tree one. Two shoulder presses at tree two… Between the trees do one genuflect after the shoulder presses and then lunge walk to the next tree. Final set with 10 shoulder presses, so not a true Route 66.
    Return your rocks

    Mary
    Flutter kicks – 20
    Wife pleasers – 20
    Hello Dolly – 15
    Penguins – 15
    Mosey Back to the Flag

    The Closing
    Count-Off, Announcements, Intentions, Prayer in a Sweaty Ball of Man
    Thank you men for allowing YHC the privilege to lead. He didn’t want to be there, but as always, the men of F3 make YHC a better man, and he can only hope to do the same for all of you.
    And Rudy said my book is the 2nd best book he has ever read after the Bible.
    – Rev Sox

  • The timely demise of Judge Boudreaux T Hawg, III – from Mambi

    Q v Q. Reluctant Yankee proved just how reluctant he is by backing out (presumably out of fear, though the claim was an “illness” or “injury”). So who would step up to face the formidable champion, Judge Boudreaux T Hawg, III? Who dared to face the swift and sure hand of justice? When what to our wondering eyes should appear, but a raving lunatic in a Mini? Yes, Rudy-Clause emerged from the dense fog at the last minute carrying a bag of toys for all the PAX. And with that, let the games begin.

    Warm Up: Don “Mambi” King kicked off with a welcome and a warmup. SSH, IW, some arm circles, and such. But he quickly handed control to the reigning Q champion to start the main event. But the good Judge was obviously cowering in fear of the imposing form of his opponent, and tapped out. So Rudy-Clause had the opening.

    Thing 1: Naughty and Nice. 6 PAX were obviously naughty. Its clear that Triple Shift and his ilk are on track to have empty stockings this year. They were sent off to collect coupons. The Nice PAX (here’s looking at you, Hokie!) instead got to collect gifts from Santas bag. And what should they find? Bricks! Each Naughty PAX pair up with a Nice PAX. Naughty PAX: start thrusters. Nice PAX: how about some Floyd M’s with the bricks, then a 10 yard out-and-back bear crawl. Naughty PAX griping about the unfairness of it all. So swap with your partner. Time for one more round: Naughty start with Brick-pees, Nice get some Wonder Bras (push them bricks out, then push them up) with an out-and-back Crab Walk. Trade off again, but we ran out of time. Rudy-Clause suspects that the host was skewing time in favor of the reigning champ.

    Thing 2: The Good Judge explains that the only way to shut Rudy up is to enforce a “Mouths Closed” rule. So all PAX start following the judge on a run. If you mouth off, you have to drop and start burpeeing. Surprisingly, Rudy and all the PAX kept quiet, though Bolt and Hokie decided to stop for burpees rather than continuing to run. Frac, however, kept running despite talking in the back of the line. PAX followed the Judge to U-Turn and pick up the missing PAX, stopping for some burpees too. Then continue on to the Mountain for some Obnoxious Exercises (emphasizing what the Judge claims is the “Obnoxious banter” of his foe). Rudy pointed out that some times, exercises just need a little clarification. And with that: Crawl-Bear up the mountain. Think that was obnoxious? How about Walk Crab up the mountain (Gabby calls it quits and just decides to walk). Oh, but the judge wasn’t done yet. He devised an insidious child’s play game – “Somersault Up the Mountain”. RevSox seemed very confused by this one, and just started rolling around in the grass after smacking straight out of his lane into another PAX. Oh, TIMES UP.

    Thing 3: Rudy-Clause starts by observing the recent lessons of his beloved coach Kelly: what better way to care for the kids in ones care then by ABANDONING THEM IN THE HOUR OF NEED. The Santa Clause robes stripped bare, Rudy-Kelly stands before the PAX sporting his new LSU gear. Lets celebrate “Big Game Brian’s” history of success at ND with some over-and-back exercises with numbers called out from the BK era. 0 National Championships (stand there). 1 Freakish southern-faux accent (over and back). 3 losses in CFP (8 ct body builders). 5 losses to “power 5” teams (burpees). 8 losses to “academic peer” institutions (carolina wine mixers). 11 losses to Top 10 teams (BBSU). 21 vacated wins (SSH). Don King calls time before we get to cumulative 72 point losses in CFP. Mahatma greatly appreciated this new insight into his favorite coach!

    Thing 4: Took a little while for this one to come together for the good Judge. Rudy speculated that this set probably looked better on paper than in practice. But lets give it a shot. 3 PAX on the ground holding bricks. A 4th PAX lay across them. Then the PAX try to “bench press”. Everyone got a turn laying, everyone got plenty of turns pressing. One more “Max Out” with 2 PAX together pressing one standing PAX. Most of the PAX got to bench press Fast Tax, who weighs 88 pounds. But when Rudy Clause went down for the count, the good Judge doled out the worst punishment – putting his own 211 pounds on the blocks. A valiant effort by Pai Gow and Rudy but they barely moved that massive load. And with that – time’s up.

    The good Judge gave an impassioned closing argument, explaining just how much of a HIM his opponent was (many thanks!). Rudy Clause seemed surprised by the need to make a closing argument, and could only muster a “Merry Christmas – do you want presents or not?”

    COT: 12 PAX count off. Plenty of confusion on just how to state name, F3 name and age. You’d think this group of veterans would know this by now. Plenty of intentions, including specifically Minute Rice – for strength through a health challenge, and for embarking on a new life with his bride.

    Then the final tally was in – at first, it looked as if the Judge may have fooled enough jurors with his smoke screens of lies and fast talking. Would it be a hung jury? But no – in the end, the PAX voted for the restoration of Christmas this year and sent the Judge packing.

    Come join the Q v Q next month (next year) to see if The Shrimp Man (King Kong) answers the bell!

  • Bringing the Wood (-en toothpick) – from Rudy

    El Diablo Bringing the Wood. Thanks to Thumb War for inspiring Hawg to start a new tradition! The El Diablo bat was to make its first appearance this fine morning. From here on out – 30 El Diablo workouts, including 5 Qs, will get your name etched on this fine bat.

    The PAX were all anxious to see The Wood. The anticipation. The anxiety. The desire to be like Reggie Bush, bringing That Wood to El Diablo. YHC had the Q, so Hawg who was allegedly travelling delivered the wood the night before.

    YHC took one look at the Wood, and suspected there would be problems. And as the PAX gathered in the gloom, YHC was right. “Where’s the Bat?” asked Scantron. “Wait, is that it?” sez Bogey. “That looks like a Toothpick” mocked Bolt. And on and on it went. YHC had to deflect criticism, happily throwing Hawg under the bus – “Hey, don’t hate the messenger.”

    But anyway, this is our Wood (or Wood-let, or Wooden Toothpick). Whatever, lets get started.

    Quick Warmup, then all the PAX grab one of the presents that YHC had delivered to the football field. A Log, a Bag o’ Rocks, A workout rope, dumbbells (not the War Eagle kind), medicine ball, etc.. All in, some 10 toys were available. But alas – there were 16 of us (counting the late arriving Triple Shift). So make do with some other exercises (burpees – what else would FracSac pick, 8 counts, etc…). One good addition – balancing on a basketball for derkins. Challenge both the upper body and core to stay on that ball.

    The Thang: one PAX (“it”) runs a lap with the bat above their head. (shortly modified to half a lap in the interest of time). Everyone else is doing their exercise with their thing. Then we rotate. Everyone got a chance with all of the toys, and everyone got to run once with the glorious bat. FastTax had an interesting take on “Thruster” that looked strangely like a “Squat”.

    Still had time for a Brian Kelly inspired game of “Turncoats and Traitors”. Groups of 3 – one PAX sprint backwards across the football field. The other two start with 2 burpees (later 1 burpee, later 1 8 ct) then sprint to catch the traitor. If they caught him, the traitor did burpees. Otherwise, the chasers did burpees. Or maybe everyone did burpees. Depends on how YHC felt at the moment. So everyone got to be a traitor and get chased down. Good times. Enjoy your coach, LSU.

    COT – 16 PAX welcomed the bat. Great seeing everyone in the glom, and welcome to Downhiller from Birmingham. Thanks for letting me try some new things – look forward to June 22nd, 2022 (the 30th El Diablo workout from now) to see who may be first to get their name on the bat.