F3 New Orleans

Tag: The Birdcage

  • Never Over Macho Grande

    Seaman was the Q. He brought us in real low. But he couldn’t handle it.

    THE GLOOM: Buddy couldn’t handle it. Was Buddy one of your crew?

    PAX: Right. Buddy was the bombardier. But it was the Q who couldn’t handle it, and he went to pieces.

    THE GLOOM: Andy went to pieces?

    PAX No. Andy was the navigator. He was all right. Buddy went to pieces. It was awful how he came unglued.

    THE GLOOM Howie came unglued?

    PAX: Oh, no. Howie was a rock, the best tailgunner in the outfit. Buddy came unglued.

    THE GLOOM: And he bailed out?

    PAX: No. Andy hung tough. Buddy bailed out. How he survived, it was a miracle.

    THE GLOOM: Then Howie survived?

    PAX: No, ‘fraid not. We lost Howie the next day.

    THE GLOOM: Over Macho Grande?

    PAX: No. I don’t think I’ll ever get over Macho Grande. Those wounds run…pretty deep.

    We ran around, we sweated, we did elevens. Then we did some other stuff that if you didn’t show up for you really missed a great time and we really don’t have time to go over.

    One FNG a Lycee Dad, FNG name is Shurley With a U!

  • Coupons?, we don’t need no stinkin’ coupons!

    REG: Yeah. All right, Stan. Don’t labour the point. And what have they ever given us in return?!

    XERXES: The aqueduct?

    REG: What?

    XERXES: The aqueduct.

    REG: Oh. Yeah, yeah. They did give us that. Uh, that’s true. Yeah.

    COMMANDO #3: And the sanitation.

    LORETTA: Oh, yeah, the sanitation, Reg. Remember what the city used to be like?

    REG: Yeah. All right. I’ll grant you the aqueduct and the sanitation are two things that the Romans have done.

    MATTHIAS: And the roads.

    REG: Well, yeah. Obviously the roads. I mean, the roads go without saying, don’t they? But apart from the sanitation, the aqueduct, and the roads–

    COMMANDO: Irrigation.

    XERXES: Medicine.

    COMMANDOS: Huh? Heh? Huh…

    COMMANDO #2: Education.

    COMMANDOS: Ohh…

    REG: Yeah, yeah. All right. Fair enough.

    COMMANDO #1: And the wine.

    COMMANDOS: Oh, yes. Yeah…

    FRANCIS: Yeah. Yeah, that’s something we’d really miss, Reg, if the Romans left. Huh.

    COMMANDO: Public baths.

    LORETTA: And it’s safe to walk in the streets at night now, Reg.

    FRANCIS: Yeah, they certainly know how to keep order. Let’s face it. They’re the only ones who could in a place like this.

    COMMANDOS: Hehh, heh. Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh.

    REG: All right, but apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, a fresh water system, and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?

    XERXES: Brought peace.

    REG: Oh. Peace? Shut up!

  • The Revolution Will Not Be Televised

    Arthur and his trusty servant Patsy “ride” into a field where peasants are
    working. They come up behind a cart which is being dragged by a hunched-over peasant in ragged clothing. Patsy slows as they near the cart.

    Arthur: Old Woman!

    The peasant turns around, revealing that he is in fact a man.

    Man: Man!
    Arthur: Man, sorry…. What knight lives in that castle over there?
    Man: I’m thirty-seven!
    Arthur: (surprised) What?
    Man: I’m thirty-seven! I’m not old–
    Arthur: Well I can’t just call you “man”…
    Man: Well you could say “Dennis”–
    Arthur: I didn’t know you were called Dennis!
    Man: Well, you didn’t bother to find out, did you?!
    Arthur: I did say sorry about the “old woman”, but from behind, you looked–
    Man: Well I object to your…you automatically treat me like an inferior!
    Arthur: Well I am king…
    Man: Oh, king, eh, very nice. And ‘ow’d you get that, eh?
    (he reaches his destination and stops, dropping the cart)
    By exploiting the workers! By ‘angin’ on to outdated imperialist dogma
    which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society.
    If there’s ever going to be any progress,–
    Woman: Dennis! There’s some lovely filth down ‘ere!
    (noticing Arthur) Oh! ‘Ow’d’ja do?
    Arthur: How do you do, good lady. I am Arthur, king of the Britons. Whose
    castle is that?
    Woman: King of the ‘oo?
    Arthur: King of the Britons.
    Woman: ‘Oo are the Britons?
    Arthur: Well we all are! We are all Britons! And I am your king.
    Woman: I didn’t know we ‘ad a king! I thought we were autonomous collective.
    Man: (mad) You’re fooling yourself! We’re living in a dictatorship! A
    self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes–
    Woman: There you go, bringing class into it again…
    Man: That’s what it’s all about! If only people would–
    Arthur: Please, please, good people, I am in haste! WHO lives in that
    castle?
    Woman: No one lives there.
    Arthur: Then who is your lord?
    Woman: We don’t have a lord!
    Arthur: (spurised) What??
    Man: I told you! We’re an anarcho-syndicalist commune! We’re taking
    turns to act as a sort of executive-officer-for-the-week–
    Arthur: (uninterested) Yes…
    Man: But all the decisions of that officer ‘ave to be ratified at a
    special bi-weekly meeting–
    Arthur: (perturbed) Yes I see!
    Man: By a simple majority, in the case of purely internal affairs–
    Arthur: (mad) Be quiet!
    Man: But by a two-thirds majority, in the case of more major–
    Arthur: (very angry) BE QUIET! I order you to be quiet!
    Woman: “Order”, eh, ‘oo does ‘e think ‘e is?
    Arthur: I am your king!
    Woman: Well I didn’t vote for you!
    Arthur: You don’t vote for kings!
    Woman: Well ‘ow’d you become king then?
    (holy music up)
    Arthur: The Lady of the Lake– her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by
    divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why
    I am your king!
    Man: (laughingly) Listen: Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government! Supreme executive power
    derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some… farcical
    aquatic ceremony!
    Arthur: (yelling) BE QUIET!
    Man: You can’t expect to wield supreme executive power just ’cause some
    watery tart threw a sword at you!!
    Arthur: (coming forward and grabbing the man) Shut UP!
    Man: I mean, if I went ’round, saying I was an emperor, just because some moistened bink had lobbed a scimitar at me, they’d put me away!
    Arthur: (throwing the man around) Shut up, will you, SHUT UP!
    Man: Aha! Now we see the violence inherent in the system!
    Arthur: SHUT UP!
    Man: (yelling to all the other workers) Come and see the violence inherent in the system! HELP, HELP, I’M BEING REPRESSED!
    Arthur: (letting go and walking away) Bloody PEASANT!
    Man: Oh, what a giveaway! Did’j’hear that, did’j’hear that, eh? That’s
    what I’m all about! Did you see ‘im repressing me? You saw it,
    didn’t you?!

  • Killer B’s at Birdcage Iron Pax Week #1

    Posted in a million degree weather with 1000% humidity to start this IPC.

    Meet at the lawn by the ZOO! Line up.

    Broad jump 10 yards, 10 burpees, 10 bonnieblairs, and 10 big bois, broad jump 10 yards do it again, and broad jump 10 yards and do it again.

    Bear Crawl back to start line and do it again – 5 times

    Easy if you write it – hard if you do it.

    Tclaps to Happy Little Trees and G-Spot for the sub-20 finish. I think if you did it again you could shave another 30 secs or so off your time.

    The early finishers ran laps around the course while the rest of the PAX finished.

    While this contest is you vs everyone – it is also you vs you. I’d love to pull out the KILLER Bs in January and have you compare your times – I am sure you would see some great results.

    Great work and here are the results by time. We need to keep participating every week!

    1938 Happly Little Trees

    1947 GSpot

    2120 DOuille

    2230 Sandbar

    2435 Seaman

    2451 ILOVEYOUMAN
    2451 CHIQUITA
    2445 86

    2530 Saban

    2540 Jingle Vader

    2629 Gabrielle

    2647 King Kong

    2800 Tinkles

    2842 Quarterpipe

    2941 Brown Bag

    2957 Bones

    3000 Tube Steak

    3002 Bartman

    3030 Angies List

    3055 R. Yankee

    3055 Quincy

    3223 Squeal

    3254 Chowda

  • Backblast: Labor Day … +1

    Happy Labor Day VQ for Tube Steak, where learning to count was the real training for the day (@Squeal was right…counting is hard).

    Rolled out from the circle at 0530 with a dirty dozen group (including +1 FNG) and a quick disclaimer. Straight away looking for trouble while running right at the grounds crew blowing away debris. After flocking around the workcarts the members went on to warm up by the gazebo:

    20 SSH; 20 Imperial Walkers; 10(+1) Forward Arm Circles and the same in Reverse (thx SeaMan); 15 Grass Grabbers

    Pax mosey’d through the woods onto the first stop at the row bar station in three groups: 20 Upright Rows (had the count); Merks; Jump Squats…Rinse and Repeat

    Single Line Indian Run to the bridge, splitting off from the track for mountain climbers; peter parkers; parker peters

    Jog to Sprint Running Man on the track down to the big fountain for 15 Right Leg Step Ups, 20 Dips, 15 (+1) Left Leg Step Ups; 20 Decline Merks

    Back to the track for Jog; POW Jog; Sprint to the water-fountain and some Mary (with at least one +1)

    Quickly onto the pull-up bars for a final 10 count round rotating low slow squats and a trial run of BonnieBlairs (all agreed that won’t be fun Wednesday)

    Back to the circle at 0615 (also +1) for name-o-rama welcoming @Waltzing Schnitzel to the group, announcements; intentions (thoughts to those in the path of Dorian), Sweaty BOM and on to F2 Coffeeteria at the PJs

    Thanks to all who kept up the count!

    Tube Steak

  • Impromptu

    The rule of thumb is “Plan for the expected. Prepare for the unexpected!” Seems the unexpected has besieged us more than our traditional morning strolls in the park. Today was one more of those days. Q was unconfirmed and a no show, so YHS, picked up the shovel and dug ourselves into a hole.

    Quick mosey into a warm up, SSH (do we know anything else), Imperial Walker Squats (it had been a while), Arm Circles Seamen Style, 10 Burpees OYO as King Kong counted arm circle in an offensive matter. Quick survey of those registered for Iron Pax Challenge, all but Nip Tuck have registered. So for Nip Tuck 10 more Burpees OYO. Back to the track and mosey.

    At the Row Bars we broke into 5 groups of 5. The count was 10 Peter Parkers with an Merican in between each knee to elbow, 2 was 1. Meanwhile a group did squats, lunges, rows, and russian twist.

    We continued to mosey, on ways for a ring of fire. Did Mericans in sets of 10, setting it around the circle in both directions from YHS.

    Back to the track with alternating Sprint and Mosey between the running men to the fountain. As YHS was gimping along, requested the fastest of the pride come sweep up the six. Around the fountain we gathered for some One leg and Opposite Leg step ups, Dips, and Declined Mericans x10 w/ Shoulder Taps 2 is 1 x10.

    Back to the to Sprint and Mosey to the Mary Green as before. Hello Dolly, Rosalita, Box Cutters, J-Lo / Pickle Pounder, and Doctor W (Jingle Vader your presence was needed).

    We attempted an Indian Run to the pull up bars. In the process we ran down two group of ladies running. It is never our intention but I have been told we can be like fat people on a SouthWest flight. Where the fat bodies sit in a row, lift the middle arm rest up and dare you to sit next to them. When we are doing 2 lines of IR we need remember to share the track. In this instance we did a poor job of sharing. The first duo completely freaked out almost began to cower swallowed by the passing pax , the second group of 4 or 5 also freaked but joined in liked the idea of an Indian run.

    Wanted another pearl but we were running out of time so proceeded to the flag and COT.

    The work out blew! Not original! Not Exciting! But we got it done. We were prepared because we planned pushed ourselves previously in the gloom. As you prepare for your next Q, next Sad Clown meeting, next lunch, I challenge you to ask yourself what could go wrong and make your plan for what you will do. The situation will make you a HIM!

    BrushBurn, G Spot, Nip Tuck, King Kong, Angie’s List, Reluctant Yankee, Tube Steak, Gabrielle, Saban, Bartman, Bones, Willy, Organ Grinder, Squeal,Brown Bag, Peppa, Chowdha, Sand Bar, Tinkles, Quarter Pipe

  • With a little help from my friends

    Mosey to the bandstand:
    Warm up. IC
    20x SSH’s
    20x windmills
    20x hillbillies
    20x mountain climbers

    The thang:

    Mosey to the light poles

    BLIMPS
    Burpees
    Lunges
    Imperial walkers
    Merkins
    Plank jacks
    Squats
    Initially did 3x rinse and repeat with a little resistance from the group and added another round on for good measure

    I Love You Man helped with some Freddie
    Mercs while I finished

    Mosey to the picnic benches under the shelter
    20x right leg step ups
    5x dips accident raise in cadence caused everyone to halt-oops
    20x left leg step ups
    20x Decline merkins

    6 MOM
    20x lbc’s
    20x jingle Vader- Dr.W
    20x Willy
    20x 86

    Mosey back to the light post
    Good old fashioned suicides at the 5 light posts

    Stayed at the light posts:

    Bear crawl
    Duck walk to the first light pole
    Low country crab to the second

    Mosey back to flag
    Plank it out for 20 seconds
    Right arm planks 20 seconds
    Left arm planks 20 seconds

    COT, Name-O-Rama, Welcome FNG Paper Mache

    Thanks for giving me the opportunity to lead and thanks for the help with the cadence.
    Who would have thought it would be that hard to count to 20. A little advise for those doing their first Q. Add more exercises than you’ll need in your routine. It goes by fast.
    Very little hazing from Seamen and Angies’s List.

  • A Good Ole Fashion Beat Down!

    It was an extremely humid morning at the Birdcage where 32 PAXs came together for a good ole fashion beat down! After the standard disclaimer and identification of FNGs (there were 2), we proceeded to mosey into the field in front of Audubon Zoo for warm up exercises.  I an effort to encourage more PAX to join the Q sheet, I voluntold Quincy and Moist to each lead an exercise.  

    Warm up Exersises consisted of the following all in cadence:

    SSH x20, Windmills x10 (lead by Quincy), Forward Arm Circles x10, Backwards Arm Circles (Seaman style) x10, Self Love x10

    The PAX then made their way to the front of the Zoo, partnered up and had a DORA 1,2,3 consisting of 100 Merkins, 200 Bobby Hurley’s, 300 Freddie Mercury’s (1:1). While one pax was exercising their partner was running the loop. Once the lap was completed, the PAX switched. The count was cumulative, and this process continued until all reps were complete.

    Once DORA was complete, the PAX mosyed to the pull up station, broke up into 6 groups.  Pull ups x10 was the count, while the rest of groups were Hillbillies, Plank Jacks, Squats, Hurpees, and LBCs. The Pax rotated through each group.

    The workout was concluded with a round of Mary and some stretching. The exercises were as follows, all in cadence:

    Penguins x 15, LBCs (lead by Moist) x15, Hello Dolly x 15, Freddie Mercury’s x15

    The COT ensued with the Count off, Nameorama, announcements, and closing prayer. We welcomed two FNGs this morning Two Wrongs and LittleTiny Tree 

    loop 

  • Slogging with the Best

    PAX think that YHC doesn’t like to mosey.  Well, they’re mostly right, because it sux.  Anyway, you gotta keep the PAX on their game.  So JV-style (not too extreme, nothing Mariah- or Bieber-like), today’s wet and soggy Birdcage includes moseying.  I mean it’s wet out there; might as well enjoy running through it.

    Warm-Up in the slosh in front of the zoo:

    • SSHs 57xIC
    • Kim Jong Uns 20xIC
    • Imperial Walkers(?) 20xIC
    • Low Slow Squats 20xIC
    • Merkins 20xIC

    Mosey up to the levee on the fly for some Elevens.  Start with one merk at the bottom of the hill and ten squat jumps at the top; continue until 10 merks at the top and one squat jump at the top.

    Mosey farther down (up?) the levee to pair up for patty-cake merkins.: 20 each hand.  Apparently, the PAX was incapable of counting and finished before YHC and his partner, Douille.  So rinse and repeat–correctly this time.

    Mosey to the Maze (or, as YHC was corrected, the Labyrinth) for Circle of Mary:

    • LBCs 20xIC
    • Flutter Kicks 20xIC
    • American Hammerx 20xIC
    • Dying Cockroach 20xIC
    • Penguins 20xIC
    • Big Boy Sit Ups 20xIC
    • Hello Dollys 20xIC
    • some other ones I no longer recall.

    Mosey back to the flag through the puddles for a minute (or two, maybe) of plank to finish at 6:15am at the dot (plus or minus).  Count Off, Name-O-Rama, Announcements and thanks for the soggy morning.  It was more moseying than YHC likes, but it’s good him. 

    I hope I got all the PAX.  Video notwithstanding, YHC thought there were 23 PAX.  But other PAX assured him there were only 22.  If YHC weren’t a ludite, he might actually know how to properly record a video.  So if I missed you, humble apologies.  Thanks, JV

    Nip Tuck, Peppa, Quarter Pipe, Quincy, Reluctant Yankee, Sandbar, Squeal, Three Way, Willie

  • Cool Front in July???

    19 strong PAX showed up on Wednesday morning with a surprise. At 75 degrees with low humidity in the middle of a brutal summer, meteorologists called it a cool front. PAX will take whatever weather Sky Q gives them. Reluctant Yankee showed up late, but he eventually found the PAX because he heard the Q’s cadence count echoing through the breeze throughout Audubon Park and Zoo. Needless to say, at 5:30 a.m., YHC gave his standard disclaimer and off we went!!!

    Moseyed on Magazine Street towards the field in front of Audubon Zoo.

    Warm-ups in cadence

    SSHs x 20

    Windmills x 10

    Arm Circles (both directions) x 10

    Hill Billies x 20

    Peter Parker x 20

    MCs x 20

    Parker Peter x 20

    (Total plank position time was 2.5 minutes at this point for the July ISI Challenge)

    The Thang

    Moseyed over to the statue in front of Audubon Zoo. Picked a partner. PAX did the following workouts.

    Round 1

    While one partner PAX was lunge walking from the statue to the stop sign, the other PAX was running around the loop to catch his partner. Flap jack and started lunge walking where the other PAX left off while the other partner was running the lap. Flap jack until the team reached the stop sign. Then the team will go back towards the statue from the stop sign. While one PAX was bear crawling, the other PAX was running the loop to catch up to his partner. Flap jack and bear crawled where the other PAX left off while the other partner was running the lap. Flap jack until the team reached back to the statue.

    (Total plank position time – add approximately 1 minute)

    Round 2

    DORA 1, 2, 3

    Each team finished the following exercises:

    100 – Squats

    200 – Hello Dolly

    300 – Shoulder Taps (Total plank time – add approximately 2 minutes)

    Each PAX did those exercises while the other PAX ran the same loop and flap jack.

    Round 3

    YHC decided to stay by the curbs in front of the statue and did the following in cadence:

    15 – slow incline merkins

    15 – Rocky Balboa

    10 – slow incline merkins

    10 – Rocky Balboa

    5 – slow incline merkins

    5 – Rocky Balboa

    Round 4

    PAX moseyed back to the field in front of Audubon Zoo. Picked a different partner. While one PAX was in low plank position, the other PAX did a burpee broad jump over his partner. Flap jack until each team reached the garbage can, which was about 15 -20 yards away. (Add about one minute to the plank position time).

    Sprint race – with the same partner, PAX did a sprint relay race. First PAX ran to the next garbage can and back (total distance was about 40 – 50 yards), tagged his partner and the partner did the same run. PAX did 2 rounds of the relay sprint race.

    PAX stayed on the same field and tried to find a dry spot for some Mary.

    Round 5 – Round of There’s Something About Mary

    • LBCs x 20 IC
    • Flutterkicks x 20 IC
    • Penguins x 20 IC
    • Dying Cockroach x 20 IC
    • One minute low plank hold (which added one more minute in the total plank time)

    In total – PAX planked for about 7.5 minutes. On this date, each PAX needed 12 minutes total plank time. YHC intended to help the PAX who are participating the July ISI Challenge…… including himself.

    COT

    Moseyed back to the flag at 6:15 a.m with COT. 19 PAX with a guest from F3 Cherokee, Georgia. Welcome Geek Squad. PAX are always grateful to have the physical and mental health to come out for a beatdown on a regular basis. Also prayed for safe travels for everyone during the summer. Thank You all again for the opportunity to lead. Always a pleasure to workout with my F3 brothers. SYITG.

    King Kong

    Lagniappe

    F2 Picnic at the Fly is around the corner on August 3rd. Brown Bag continues to self promote on his new release at every COT. King Kong used this opportunity with “speaking of beer”, Urban South should donate some for the upcoming picnic. Douille also jumped in by informing Brown Bag that there is no free advertising at the COT and will cost you something. In conclusion, we thank Brown Bag for donating a keg to the picnic. Squeal from Patois will also provide a dish for us. Pauly D also committed to prepare a Korean Short Ribs dish. Quarter Pipe called King Kong out about Galliano’s duck wings should be at the picnic. Thank You to all the PAX who are putting this picnic together. Hope to see everyone out there on Aug. 3rd.