F3 New Orleans

Tag: TurboTax

  • Boom-Shaka-Laka! And Then There Was Chainsaw! – from The Hammer

    As YHC has/am learning, a large part of being a parent is nothing more than a glorified chauffeur/ATM. If you are Pickaxe’s dad, you can add scribe into the mix. An excuse to get in my cave and crack some AC/DC while I write. So all good!

    Pickaxe has been itching to Q again since his initial Q the day after Christmas. With a dearth of Northshore PAX donating their talent to the Lakefront beatdown, no better time than the present. So off we go…

    Warm-o-Rama

    Windmills
    Waybacks (Toe Touches w/ extra stretch at end)
    IW
    SSH

    This 9 year old drill sergeant made us bear crawl towards Noah’s Ark. Along the way, he planted several Easter Eggs with exercises or candy in them. As we approached them, he had members of the PAX open and read them. On our journey to the Ark, we did:

    Jump Squats x 15
    8 count Bodybuilders x 10
    Luigis x 10 (This is a PIckaxe original spawned from a Mario video game wherein a short, fat Italian plumber falls down, does some movement only possible through coding, and arrives in an erect posture. In practice, it must be modified from its video precision, and basically looks like a burpee where you turn over on your back before you jump up.)

    For the second half of our journey to Noah’s, we karaoked. Once at the Ark, our leader had us partner up for the following:

    Burpees x 120
    Freak Nasties x 240
    Crunchy Frogs x 360 (We missed you, Cowbell!)

    Cumulative, done by one while the other partner ran around the Ark.
    As an aside, the human body is not designed to do 360 Crunchy Frogs. Just an aside.

    On the mosey back, Pickaxe saved the most brutal Easter Egg for last. Another Pickaxe original that he made up one night as his father begged him not to! Boom-Shaka-Lakas! What is that you ask? It is a “different” kind of cadence exercise. While Pickaxe said “Boom-Shaka-Laka, Shaka-Laka, Shaka-Laka, Shaka-Laka, Boom…”

    Now, we started doing Merkins, then when he said Boom, we turned over into a crab-walk like position to do what can only be described as elevated Wife Pleasers (Hip Thrusters according to Pickaxe ;). Nonstop. 20 of them. There was almost Mutiny on the Bounty. Had our Q been old enough to see a PG-13 movie, there almost certainly would have been! However, his leadership and willingess to push all us old dudes is actually inspiring (if YHC does say so himself.)

    Back at the flag, we did some Mary, ran to the Gazebo and back, Name-o-Rama, COT. We had one FNG, Pickaxe’s younger brother, who happened to turn 7 on this day. He wanted to come out to F3 to support Pickaxe. His older brother gave him a ridiculously awesome name that he made his dad call him the rest of the day.

    As Pickaxe shared, his brother once cut his foot on a chainsaw…so welcome, Chainsaw! It was a special day for both Pickaxe and Chainsaw. Shooter bequeathed the Freedom Hammer to Pickaxe’s care for the time being, and the PAX sang Chainsaw Happy Birthday. Be it known that later that day, Chainsaw and his friends “played F3”, with Chainsaw as Q.

    Thank you to all for allowing yourselves to be led by a 9 year old, and for making a 7 year old’s birthday so special. Their dad just might be proud of them.

  • Curls for the Girls! – from BBQ

    The weather was cold and rainy but that did not stop 10 sturdy and strong NS F3 men from rising to the challenge. The beat down moved under the trailhead shelter and went heavy on coupons. The warm up exercises were side straddle hops, torso twists, self love, wind mills, arm circles with little balls and biggest balls, grass grabbers, mountain climbers, inverted mountain climbers, plank jacks, merkins and shoulder rolls. YHC had some struggles with cadence and count but I think I am making some progress! Coupons were used for 4 rounds of 11 exercises. 3 types of curls, overhead lifts, rows, kettle bell swings, squats, Al Gore meets George Thoroughgood, LBC’s, leg raises and flutter kicks. Shooter will be sad to miss this beat down. Curls should continue to be a focus to be ready for the girls at the joint NS F3 and FIA workout on 2-25! We did one round of tricep curls at the end to keep arms from becoming too bicep heavy. Mobydick inspirationally prayed us out.

  • Excuse Me While I Kiss the Ground

    So there we were…how every great story starts…today was the commencement of what will hopefully become an annual CSAUP, Uncle Hammer’s 1000 Burpee Beatdown.

    First: Special Shoutouts —

    Jose 10k –DJ Jose had the best possible music, with songs individualized for members of the PAX

    Moby Dick –Dude’s 71, that’s right, 71, and he is out there making us middle agers look bad.

    Hawgcycle — Did this CSAUP on the Southshore by himself in just over 2 hours…no idea how he accomplished that. Awesome work!

    Now onto the beatdown:

    0610: Knowing this would likely be an all day affair, we skipped the normal 2 mile pre-thang, instead moseying from the flags towards the beach, stopping at each fire hydrant for a set of 10 burpees (6 sets out, 6 sets back =120). DJ 10k had Brother Angus lead us off, picking the axe (See what I did there) like lightning, but sounding like thunder. Then, while most of us may be partial to Southern Belles, Mr. David Lee Roth, with help from Steve Vai, pined for a young lass named Yankee Rose. As if the blood wasn’t pumping hard enough by 0615, Vince Neil kickstarted our hearts even further. Before we knew it, we were 1/8 the way to our goal. We returned with the remaining PAX awaiting to begin.

    0630– No warmup necessary. Jump right into the EMOM of 6 burpees. Doing this mitigates the overwhelming thought of 1000, as well as helping with the physically challenging nature of the CSAUP. As the Zen philosopher Basho once said, or maybe it was Bushwhacker, “A journey of 1000 miles begins with a single burpee.” How true.

    Mentally, the wash rinse and repeat of doing this for an hour can be quite taxing. This is where DJ Jose was so great. Always thinking of other, he picked out songs for most of the PAX. Some included were:

    The Bird (Morris Day and the Time) –Bird

    U Can’t Touch This (MC Hammer) –Hammer

    Some Moby Song —Moby Dick

    Relax (Frankie Goes to Hollywood) –Zoolander

    The Best Around (From Karate Kid) –Russo

    To be honest, the hour was over before we knew it. Most PAX were asking to continue for another hour, and Hammer could easily have been elected mayor of CSAUPtown but for all the mail in ballots. However, they all missed their wives so much, they could not bear to continue for another minute. That was the right choice, guys, as hard as it was to make.

    So, by 0730: 120+365 (5 minutes were sets of 7)+ 15 (a burpee for each PAX during COT) = 500

    Halfway home by coffeeteria!

    PHASE 2: Do 250 OYO throughout the day before reconvening at 6 pm at Grandmother’s House. Some went more traditional –Hammer did 25 sets of 10 throughout the day (looked weird doing it outside the Pelican Park gym before 2.0’s basketball game). DJ 10k did his while his M worked out. Of course, he overachieved, doing another 350 before lunch. Russo knocked the rest of his out before I got home, it seemed. Hawg’s Breath did a few with his adorable daughter on his back, like the true bad ass he is. However we decided to get it done, we finished 750 before twilight.

    PHASE 3: Final 250 at Grandma’s

    6 skrong at Grandma’s at 1800. Turbo, Bird, Jose, Hammer, Hawg’s Breath, Akbar. Knocked out the last quarter in just over 30 minutes. Having an eclectic mix to inspire us: CCR, NIN, and Billy Idol (twice, in fact. No really.)

    …And done! We then enjoyed some F2 at Old Rail, then home to bed.

    Thank you all for joining in this venture. Each of you inspired me along the way, and I am indebted to you all for the kindness, generosity, friendship, and leadership you all display.

    For those that “missed” it, there will always be next year!

  • 1 Mile Time Trial #2

    12 strong showed up for the 2nd running of the 1 mile time trial.

    We started off with some light active stretching:

    15 X SSH

    15 X Mountain Climbers

    15 Leg Swings, L&R and Forward/ Back

    15 X 4 corner hops

    Skips down the parking lot

    1 mile warm up

    The mile course I plotted started at Causeway Approach heading south with ONE left turn (heading east) on Villere St. and finishing just before Coffee St.

    Ringo was on bike with a flash light and stopwatch to guide us.

    Finish times were:

    Cowbell 6:03

    Steve 6:13

    Turbo 6:13

    Waterpik 6:13

    The Hammer 6:33

    Bird 6:40

    Pixie Stix 7:13

    Shooter 7:37

    Pelican 7:43

    Russo 9:14

    Bushwacker DNF

    The Pax did a 1 mile recovery mosey as a pack back to the flag.

    We had a few minutes to spare so YHC led some light static stretching and 15 X Crunchy Frogs.

    Sealed the deal with 5 Burpees OYO.

    Thanks for coming out and testing yourself this gloom.

    Targeting March 2021 for the 3rd running!

    Thanks for letting me lead.

    Cowbell

  • Duck Hunting 101

    YHC has always joked that he does F3 to he can be in shape for duck season, among MANY other reasons. Duck hunting on public land in the Mississippi Delta is a very physically demanding hobby and for some strange reason I absolutely love it. Waking up at 2am to wade through waste deep water in 20 degrees just sounds fun, right??

    Well, YHC wanted the Gipper pax to learn a thing or two about the prep that goes into a morning of duck hunting, sans water and 20 degrees.

    Disclaimer was given and PAX was instructed to grab some gear from the camp (cinder block). Each block was to account for all of the gear needed on a hunt.

    COP #1- Warm Up:

    10 Burpees OYO

    20 X SSH

    10 X Good Mornings

    10 F/B X Arm Circles

    20 X J Lo’s

    10 L/R X Nolan Ryan’s (on crushed gravel!)

    Now we need to load up the truck: 10 L/R X Elf on a Shelf with block

    Mosey to the courthouse walkway (boat launch) at a brisk pace as we need to beat all other hunting parties to the duck hole!

    Load the boat: split into 2 lines with blocks at the end of each line. Pass block down to the end of the line, and back down. R&R X3.

    The boat is launched, now we need to drive as far as we can in the timber…quick mosey to the parking garage entrance and ramp. Leave your gear while we go search for a good spot to set up: Run up the ramp and complete 10 burpees on one side and 10 merks on the other side all the way to the top. Repeat.

    We found a prime duck hole at the top of the garage!! grab your gear and meet there.

    Now its time to throw out the decoys, we brought 3 dozen this trip..

    Block swings X 12, R&R X3.

    Now its time to actually hunt, so we need to practice raising the gun to our shoulder: Chest press X 10, R&R X3.

    We shot a few ducks but ran out of time to pick them up!

    Carry your gear back to the camp.

    Count, Name, and Grundy took us out with a prayer.

    Thank you all for hunting with me and appeasing me!

    Cowbell

  • The Lord of the Thangs

    Huge thanks to the 20 men who posted this morning for Pope’s VQ! He’s been chomping at the bit to lead, and we greatly appreciate you guys making it so special for him, especially with our planning to move soon to an area where we’ll be starting F3 from scratch. Glad to know I can lean on him to Q every now and then!

    Excitement was in the air as more and more men made their way to the flag (Turbo Dog couldn’t hold it in.) The 11-year-old Pope had shown signs of natural leadership at previous beatdowns, so expectations were high, and he did not disappoint.

    The routine was centered around his new favorite topic, The Lord of the Rings. After having recently finished reading the books, a good percentage of his thought time these days is spent somewhere in Middle Earth, so the landmarks around The Gipper were quickly transformed into battlefields, fortresses, and volcanoes.

    Warmup: 20 Side Straddle Hops, 15 Windmills, 15 Merkins, 15 Cherry Pickers, 15 Butt Kicks, 15 High Knees

    Then, PAX grabbed age-appropriate coupons and mosey to the courthouse for the first stage of the Thangs:

    1st Stage–Battle at Helms Deep:

    Start as Legolas (fleet-footed elf) at the benches with 10 bench hops (hands on a bench and jump back and forth over), carioca run to the stairs, and run up to the top where each then becomes Gimli (short dwarf) and completes 15 dwarf jacks (smurf jacks). Then, down the ramp and back to the coupons where each becomes Aragorn (warrior king) and performs 12 sword unsheathings (overhead tricep presses).

    Three rounds of this, then haul the coupons up the stairs of the parking garage to the top ramp for…

    2nd Stage–Mount Doom:

    Hobbits Frodo and Sam teamed up to get the ring to the top of the mountain to destroy it in the flaming lava.

    PAX partnered up with partner 1 (Frodo) starting the beloved “Bear and Block” up the ramp: bear crawl a few steps, then drag/pull the cinder block forward from between your feet, then a few more steps, then drag, etc.

    Partner 2 (Sam) battled Gollum (coupon) at the bottom: 10 Man Makers for first round, 15 curls for second round, and 15 goblet squats for third. Once a set was complete, partner 2 ran up to Frodo to replace him dragging the block up the ramp, and partner 1 runs down to be Sam for a set at the bottom.

    Each time the block made it all the way to the top and was run back down, partners moved on to the next round’s exercise. After the third round, all PAX ran backwards with their coupons to the top (in the style of Gollum, dancing his way over the edge of the cliff).

    About half of the PAX found a way to destroy their rings/coupons early (a little too much “man” in the “Man Makers”) making their task a bit easier and making a Home Depot run necessary for YHC before next Wednesday.

    Moseyed back to the flag to replace the coupon fragments. COT with some great opportunities provided for giving back to the community, and Turbo Tax prayed us out.

    Thanks, again, for all the support for the young Q, and for allowing us to be a part of the F3 family! We’ll be taking full advantage of it until the day we’re moved out, and then we’ll be counting on your wisdom and support for getting F3 started in the Houma-Thibodaux area.

    God will provide!

    Goose

  • Cloudy With A Chance of Unitards

    It’s been threatening rain all week.  And the forecast for Thursday evening’s F2 beatdown was no different, with a 60-70% chance as of that morning.  YHC seriously envisioned 10k and I sitting under the gazebo drinking alone (he his bud light tallboys, me my overpriced hipster beer), while 10k grumbled about the sunset and my beer.  And while that vision partially came true – with the added bonus of a “only-in-Hollywood” rainbow overhead – we were spared the actual rain and a decent size group posted.

    YHC had planned for no warmorama, since time was short, but as BBQ was dealing with securing his bike (he rode from Covington! 👏👏👏), we knocked out some SSH’s before jumping into 20x burpees OYO.

    Next up, a Lazy Dora.  Same as the usual Dora (100 merks, 200 squats, 200 LBC’s), but instead of running between sets, the alternating partner would hold a static pose until it was his turn.  So plank for 10x merkins, Al Gore for 20x squats, and 6” hold for 30x LBC’s.  Cumulative goals were reached pretty quickly, and we moved over to the seawall for some leg work.

    20x jump squats, lunge walk to sidewalk, 20x monkey humpers IC

    20x Bulgarians IC (10 ea.), lunge walk, 20x Apollo Ohno’s

    20x calf raises IC (balancing on the edge of the seawall, which was more difficult than you might think), lunge walk, 20x Sister Mary’s.

    Finally, back to the wall for shoulders: 15x freak nasties IC, 5x derkins IC.  Rinse and repeat with 10x freaks IC / 10x derks IC.  Then 5x freaks IC / 15x derkins IC.

    Around this time we had an In Time flyby, with his cross country team in tow, and we then circled up for an abbreviated Mary of heels to heaven and leg raises, both x15 IC.  

    Upon completion, the guys noticed a rather large and somewhat magical rainbow stretched across the lakefront sky.  Turbo joked that all we needed now was a unicorn and, lo and behold, the hero we both deserved and needed materialized: Amnesia, donning, that’s right, a unitard.  (At least, according to Jose that is the official name of said bodysuit.  The differences between a unitard and a leotard and a bodysuit is a mystery to me, and one I’m not willing to google.)

    COT, prayed out by Akbar, and we all headed to the Gazebo joined by Cowbell, Tank, and Tank’s son (a soon-to-be named F3 brother).  Good beer, good company, and a good sunset – what more could you ask for?  Great time out there with you guys, thanks for posting and thanks for the opportunity to lead!  

    *rainbow and unitard not captured on film due to Cowbell’s usual tardiness

  • Burpee Crowd Pleaser

    Ok ok, last week got away from me. But, here is the backblast nonetheless.

    11 men met out on a beautiful morning in at the Gipper.

    COP #1: Warm up (All IC X 20)

    SSH, IW, Hillbillies, Arm Circles (x10), Jlo’s, Grass Grabbers, Toe Touches.

    Mosey to the Justice center parking lot for the first crowd pleaser:

    COP #2: Merkin Variation Ladder

    10 regular merks, 10 wide arm merks, 10 diamond merks

    9 regular merks, 9 wide arm marks, 9 diamond merks

    and so on…. we got down to 5 and YHC asked the pax if they wanted to stop and the only voice he heard was from Einstein (Respect Respect) “Lets finish!”

    and finish we did..

    Moseyed to the 2nd deck of the parking garage for the main event crowd pleaser.

    The Thang:

    The instructions were so simple. 4 exercises, 5 rounds.

    Reps were: 50,40,30,20,10

    Exercises were: Burpees, Squats, Merkins, Big Boi Sit Ups

    Complete 50 reps of each exercise, run up the ramp to the other side of the garage, down the stairs and back and then begin the next round of 40 reps each…. etc.

    most of the pax completed 2 rounds while a few over achievers (Steve, Turbo, Zoo) got halfway through round 3.

    YHC will be back and we WILL finish!!

    Mosey back to the flag.

    Thanks for letting me lead, as always.

    Cowbell

  • Records Were Meant To Be Broken

    While a few soldier Pax were recovering from Tanked Up’s overnight 100k Hundo, the rest of us got to work on a clear Breesy Saturday before the Saints stick it to the Vikings on Sunday.

    Pre-thang 2 miler with Turbo, Pik, Freon, Zoo, and FNG Paul.

    We warmed up with Imperial Walkers, Squats, Imperial Squat Walkers, Side Straddle Hops, Sleep Walker 123 (up to 5), and Merkins

    Mosey to Noah’s Ark where Freon took the Q / VQ, and led the beat down, which like Brees’ and Thomas’ records, was nothing short of spectacular. It went like this:

    3 Rounds:

    High Knees 60 50 40

    Mountain Climbers 30 40 46

    Straight Leg Sprints 50 40 30

    —Recovery Run around the Ark—

    Gorilla Crawls 16 20 26

    Jimmie Jumps 50 40 30

    Triple Bear 15 20 21

    Frog Burpees 25 20 15

    —Recovery Run around the Ark—

    For a total of 684 reps equivalent to the sum of Brees’ and Thomas’ record breaking stats (540 all time touchdowns + 144 receptions = 684)

    YHC resumed the Q for some work on the Lake Wall. Irkins, Box Jumps, Derkins, Freak Nasties, Burpee Box Jumps

    Indian Run back to the shovel flag where the Pax indulged QIC with a Kenpo Kooldown.

    Excellent work, Freon! YHC was not feeling creative for this beatdown and enlisted Freon last minute for some hurry-up offense. Not only did he Co-Q/VQ, but he EH’d Psycho and brought FNG Paul, now known as Jukebox.

    Psycho, having escaped the Bates Motel to support Freon, prayed us out.

    Thanks for following our lead men. SYITG.

  • 20-20

    5 veteran PAX rang in the New Year in the Gloom at The Gipper. After a quick warmup of 20 SSHs, it was off to the races with a fast mosey to the Justice Center for our first 20.

    20 minute AMRAP (as many rounds as possible) with each round consisting of 20 hand release Merkins, 20 plank jacks, 20 ice skater hops and then a 420 meter run. Grundy led from the front and almost lapped the rest of us by the time the buzzer sounded.

    Recovery walk back to the Shovel Flag for our second 20. This time it was EMOM (every minute on the minute) for 20 minutes. We hit 10 exercises two times each for a total of 20 reps per exercise: SSHs, Bobby Hurleys, IWs, Sister Mary Katherines, Hillbillies, Star Jumps, Seal Jacks, clap Merkins, mountain climbers and one leg hops.

    Countorama, nameorama and Einstein prayed us out into the New Year.

    Thanks for letting me lead guys. Looking forward to another great year together!