F3 New Orleans

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  • DEFENDANTS’ MOTION TO DISMISS COMPLAINT – from Jingle Vader

    IN THE COURT OF PUBLIC OPINION FOR THE REGION OF NEW ORLEANS

    F3 NATION, et al.
    Plaintiffs,
    v.

    F3 NOLA, JINGLE VADER (Q), et al.
    Defendants

    Civil Action No. 24-0001

    DEFENDANTS’ MOTION TO DISMISS COMPLAINT

    In the matter of F3 NOLA vs. F3 Nation, the defendants, hereafter referred to as F3 NOLA, hereby move for dismissal of the charges brought forth by F3 Nation. The allegations assert that individuals participating in workouts at Wolfpack Mountain fail to produce a summary of their activities, commonly referred to as a “Backblast.”

    I. Grounds for Dismissal:

    1. The defendants plead that their reluctance to provide a Backblast is rooted in their status as Luddites, demonstrating an aversion to modern technological practices.

    2. F3 NOLA asserts that their indifference extends beyond matters unrelated to Uptown New Orleans, rendering the requirement for a Backblast irrelevant to their operational ethos.

    3. The defendants argue that the language employed in workouts is often unsuitable for a professional environment, thus justifying their refusal to produce such documentation.

    4. F3 NOLA contends that the imposition of Backblasts may inadvertently subject them to unwarranted scrutiny regarding allegations of child abuse, posing a potential risk to their reputation.

    5. The defendants maintain that their objection to Backblasts is grounded in their general aversion to being directed or supervised, asserting their autonomy in matters related to workout documentation.

    In light of the aforementioned grounds, F3 NOLA respectfully requests this Honorable Court to grant the motion to dismiss, thereby absolving them of the charges brought forth by F3 Nation and allowing them to focus on Side Straddle Hops, Low Slow Squats, Burpees, Hillbillies, Blimp Ladders, Dora and Mary (which includes Twisties).

    Dated: January 12, 2024

    Respectfully submitted,

    JINGLE VADER
    Workout Q
    :HC

  • Crabby Timers – from Mayhem

    Pool Boy originally had the Q. I don’t recall the excuse… he either had a family obligation or wanted to sleep in due to the 5% chance of a light mist. YHC arrived early to setup the cones.

    Disclaimer included the option to either push yourself or KnOT this morning.

    As soon as our feet hit the track for a mosey, the mumblechatter began as Q was reminded that The Uptowner is supposed to avoid running. Luckily, the Q didn’t care.

    250M mosey
    Warmorama: AV, GG, HB, PPP, MC, CC (crab cakes, a new fan favorite), SSH

    Thang 1: Coin Flip
    3 minute timer
    5 merkins / 10 LBCs
    Keep repeating till time is up

    Mosey to the north endzone

    Thang 2: Route 66 – 66 Route
    Normal Route 66 except there are two exercises at each cone counting opposite.
    Mode of transportation alternating between bear crawl and crab walk.

    Bear crawl to first cone (10 yds), 1 burpee and 11 big boys
    Crab walk to second cone (10 yds) 2 burpees and 10 big boys
    Etc. for 11 cones ending with 11 burpees and 1 big boy

    Mosey to midfield

    Thang 3: Individual Medley
    Swimming has 4 strokes; we performed 4 exercises
    6 rounds of 90 seconds (though YHC cheated and cut time short on first few rounds), similar to an EMOM
    Rd 1: 5 each bonnie blairs, merkins, monkey humpers, SSH
    Rd 2: 6 each bonnie blairs, merkins, monkey humpers, SSH
    Rd 3: 7 each bonnie blairs, merkins, monkey humpers, SSH
    Rd 4: 8 each bonnie blairs, merkins, monkey humpers, SSH
    Rd 5: 9 each bonnie blairs, merkins, monkey humpers, SSH
    Rd 6: 10 each bonnie blairs, merkins, monkey humpers, SSH

    Mary: flutter kicks, x-factor, protractor

    Back to the flag for COT

    Counterama – 13 strong
    Namerama
    Announcements: run cajun run, wild west relay, norwegian foot march
    Intentions: Schaff family, Wedding Planner’s daughter, Fast Tax’s daughter, Scantron’s nephew, Bogey’s co-worker, safety and warmth during the arctic blast

    First time being the Q twice in one week. The more you do it, the more comfortable and enjoyable it becomes. Let’s fill the Q sheet!

    SYITG

  • Hakunah Tabata – from Mobydick

    65 degrees? Are you serious? T-shirt and shorts one more time before the weather rolls through. Everyone was happy to enjoy this gorgeous weather. Yes, we know Russo will always wear shorts and a t-shirt. He’s our own Victor Freeze ( a batman character portrayed by the master thespian Arnold Schwarzenegger. The colder it gets, the happier he gets. Moby requested to lead a beatdown to help with his lower back, so it was time for some Tabata. 45 seconds on, 20 seconds off. 6 Exercise: freak nastys, squats, crunches, irkins, jane fondas, and box cutters. Rinse and repeat.
    COT, Moby prayed us out. 1/21 Nightmare after Christmas with Moby. 1/27 Bushwhackers camping trip. Runcajunrun the month of February, sign up by 1/18.

  • Record-tieing 5 in shorts and tees – from Russo

    As Jose noted, it was in the lower 60s this morning and breezy ahead of some potential rain. I figured Pelican was in to renew the Batman and Robin vibe of the pad, but who knew they would be joined in caped crusader crime fighting by Bird, Groupie, and Waterpik, each contributing their own special powers to tie the record attendance for the pad.

    Warmup (all 10x – 20x)
    – seal jacks
    – Self love
    – Arm circles
    – Toe touches
    – Butt kicks
    – High knees
    – Hillbillies

    Thang
    Mosey to the bridge, where at every block it was 10 merkins, 10 squats, 10 shoulder tap plankjacks

    At the bridge:
    One side – 10 American hammers, (brass) monkey humpers, lunges, or Apollo Ohnos
    Mosey
    Other side – 10 Peter Parker’s, hello Dollie’s, or star jumps

    Rinse and repeat, swapping mosey for side shuffle, high knees, and back pedal intermittently.

    Back at the pad, COT, NOR, Announcements, and Prayer closed us out.

    The same good mumblechatter throughout, where we discussed talking to your dentist while he’s working on your mouth, Stephen Hawking’s proclivities, beach vacations, and civil engineering.

    Good times, gents. SYITG

  • Return of the Mighty Moby – from Einstein

    Yes indeed, Moby is back after a few week hiatus due to combersome back pain.

    YHC did the warmup and Moby took over the Q with a tabata: 45 seconds on 30 seconds off.
    6 exercise, 4sets: crunches, box cutters, inclined merkins, squats, etc.

    Pass Interference brings in a FNG to the PAX – welcome Spackle

    Moby prayed us out.

  • Lions, Gazelles, Sledding, and Striding – from Bolt

    12 pax posted in the gloom looking for and providing accountability; some ran, some KnOTted, some rucked. YHC wanted to test if there was an impact on speed if one is chased vs being chased so Lions and Gazelles was born.

    The disclaimer was given and off we went while the ruckers were informed they’d have a one minute head start to account for the estimated difference in pace between the lion (YHC) and gazelles (them) so I did burpees (it IS MABA month after all). Would it take more or less than a mile to catch them?

    I could feel parts of my legs I didn’t know existed right away so clearly being the lion impacted my pace but what about the gazelles? I expected to find out in about 15 minutes. Unbeknownst to me, the gazelles did an un-gazelle thing and hid in the bush until the lion passed (instead of “running” as they’re built to do).

    YHC hit the first lengthy straight away and presumed the figures in the distance were the gazelles (“ignore the new leg sensations or starve, lion” was my mantra) and then I lost sight of them. As the turn near Metaire Rd came I realized, so I thought, they’d altered from the agreed upon course; none the matter, mile one was coming and Siri shared the pace was 14’05”–keep pushing. The next turn came and the straight away betrayed the gazelles’ course altering—vindication…and time to eat!

    It was close to mile two before I’d catch them and just before the feast, the gazelle known as Charmin confessed their TWO dastardly deeds. Another ruck will be required to know how YHC’s pace is impacted as a gazelle.

    Thanks for the new pace, gazelles. COT.

  • Nothing new here but detours! – from Shooter

    4 PAX joined YHC this Gloom for the Scramble.
    Started with the normal warmup of exercises 20IC SSH, Toe Touches, Imperial Walkers, Grass Grabbers, Cherry pickers and finished with Al Gore hold 2 jump squats per PAX around 2x.

    Route was out and down Messina, left on Monroe through the circle back out to West Beach to the Lake. Steve and Waterpik set a quicker pace and I believe turned past the bridge. YHC detoured Jose10k and Hammer 3/4 of a way down a private road and back out to also turn past the bridge and back to the AO..
    Distance for all somewhere between 3.8 and 4.2..

    Congratulations to Hammer on a contract for his home and he did the honors in closing us with COT..

    Until the next gloom 👍🏼👊🏼✌🏼!!

  • Run, Maverick, or-whatever-your-name-is,Run – from Goose

    PAX: Paradox, Enron, Piccadilly, Smooth Operator, Honey Suckle, Safety Valve, Lil’ Cuz
     
     
                YHC had this beatdown written out since early December and had in mind for a while only that the day of it would be the Monday after Yankee’s Goose Grinch version 2.0. YHC was conscious of its closeness to Christmas, until America’s Best broke the ice with the Goose commemorative on the Saturday before the fourth Sunday of Advent (one would think that someone would have at least done a Dox-themed beatdown by now). It wasn’t until the Friday before that YHC realized that that Monday was New Year’s Day and had to turn it over to Goose.
                YHC arrived at the Stage on a bike (my old man being in Lake Charles) early to map out the sight and determine the specifics of the morning’s work, and saw Dox’s and Enron’s vehicles, but the gloom was empty. YHC made sure Dox wasn’t watching from a concealed position, grabbed some cones out of his truck and proceeded to determine the location of a bothersome amount of anthills while setting up.
                Smooth pulled up right as YHC caught a glimpse of Dox and Enron running on Rich Man’s Loop—Dox continues to show the enthusiasm he has shown for so many announcements thus far (“Yeeah… Run-Cajun-Run comin’ up, talkin’ with NOLA, ten-man teams, count your best seven if French Horn’s on your team…); wait until right before to warm up? Yeah right!
                Warmarama (honestly, who really is legitimately concerned with which exercises we warmed up with? YHC can’t recall them anyway…): Valve and Dilly rolled in, YHC attempted to set the mood for the intended theme—Tom Cruise’s Top Gun Maverick—and we Indian-ran       (-runned?), with the six dropping for 5 2:1 Freddy Mercuries, to right about quarter-mile mark on the mile route.
                It was then that YHC took a head count on how many of the PAX had watched the movie in order to get a “justified” amount of reps for penalty burpees. YHC’s heart sank very slowly as one or two out of eight slowly raised their hands. After no one had the foggiest idea what Maverick’s real name was, YHC decided to toss the theme and just go for it.
    Thang 1 consisted of a short, easy mosey to the first left turn, a turn and an increase to about 60-70% speed until the stop sign, then a final left turn and a full sprint until failure/the next stop sign. Suckle stayed close behind YHC for most of the full run and had him really pushing to avoid being passed up. PAX executed a recovery mosey to the grass next to the ex-coupon corral.
    Thang 2: all PAX partnered up and positioned themselves around an approximately 35×35 cone square and, on “go,” completed 5 T-merkins each to get the “plane” off the ground before entering the circle. Once in-bounds, PAX had to work together to “target-lock” all other opponents, a “target lock” achieved by tapping enemy PAX on the middle back (YHC did try to preserve the theme a little). Once tagged, PAX held plank outside the circle, completing 200 merkins (YHC audibled to 100) if both partners were eliminated. PAX also couldn’t stop moving under penalty of 4 dolphin-hops, so at times the environment seemed like a bunch of grown men were playing Minecraft in-real-life. Dox/Cuz ultimately emerged victorious, running victory-laps around the PAX doing merkins.
    Thang 3 originally involved baseballs and a 30-yard sprint or two, but despite all the buildup to this morning, YHC forgot baseballs. YHC brought the PAX back to the flag and resorted to the good ol’-fashion Dora, with 100 merkins, 200 Freddy Mercuries and 400 SSH, with partner 2 running to the bumper and completing 5 star-jumps. Bonus points for those who actually remembered the star-jumps o the first go.
    That left about eight minutes of Mary; COT—please keep me and everyone else going on the March for Life in your prayers and pray for an answer to ours—and Cuz prayed us out.
    YHC was having flashbacks of the last time I Qed—I had to adapt essentially the entire beatdown to fit the Chimney at the Peltch after both the Low field and the IEW field were closed or occupied. YHC and all Qs who have found themselves in similar dilemmas are living reminders of the simple phrase, “none of us are professionals.”

  • Like a Virgin – from Space Cowboy

    Thankful for the opportunity to be VQ and I am looking forward as Q for future beat downs. We even had a special “Uptown” guest @gabrielle who EH’d and brought me in as a FNG at KennaRidge back on Nov 15. I appreciate all of the support.

    Started on time with Disclaimer
    Mosey to playground
    Special guest was late so burpees x3 for all PAX

    Warmerama IC
    Slow Squats x 10
    High Knees x 15
    Toy Soldiers x 10
    Forward lunges x 10
    Forward Circles x 15
    Backward Circles x15
    Seal Claps x 10
    Chinooks x15
    Hillbilly’s x10
    Plank Walk Outs x5

    Mosey to JPAX
    Round 1 – 6 min AMRAP
    Merkins x 12
    Dips x 12
    Shoulder Taps x12
    Burpees x 12
    Run up JPAX stairs down ramp

    Round 2 – 6 min AMRAP
    Air squats x 12
    Forward lunges x12
    Box jumps x12
    Mountain Climbers x12
    Run up JPAX stairs down ramp

    Round 3 – 4 min AMRAP
    Dips x12
    Box jumps x12
    Shoulder taps x12
    Air squats x12
    Run around JPAX pebble pond

    Mosey back to Playground
    Superman with Extensions x10
    Peter Parkers x10
    Parker Peters x10
    Captain Thors x10

    Round of Mary: Crunchy frog; Tin Snips; BBSU; Penguins; Reverse planks with leg lifts; 3 count plank holds; wife pleasers

    COT
    Announcements
    Intentions: Wedding Planner’s daughter, Big Willie’s mom, War Eagle’s new baby daughter
    Prayer

  • Are you sure that goes there!! – from Shooter

    Well, once again I lost the original BB. It was not as Epic (in my head) but hey it’s my fault for not typing and pasting from notes as instructed from Rouso Saturday morning..
    Simply stated

    Warmup
    20-10 IC Seal jacks, Cherry pickers, Abe Vogadas, Grass grabbers, Arm circles, Hillbillies, Butt kicks and slalom 2x through the pillars and back.

    Beatdown
    5,10,15 and 20 (4x)
    5 Burpees
    10 Merkins
    15 Jump squats
    20 Mountain climbers 2(1)

    R/R (4x)
    5 Absolutions
    10 Carolina dry docks
    15 Sister Mary Catherine’s
    20 Donkey kickoffs
    Back blast title obtained from Akbar at this moment.
    Are you sure that goes there?

    Moseyed to Treen center utilized benches Freak Nasties and Bulgarian split squats.
    Returned for Mary 20 IC Little Mannys, Flutters and Hello Dollie’s. 10 OYO Heels to heaven..

    Akbar closed in prayer..

    Until the next Gloom 👍🏼👊🏼✌🏼!!