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  • Gnarly Nutria IV The Uptown Funk

    Gnarly Nutria IV The Uptown Funk

    YHC began Wednesday morning like any other Wednesday morning with a quality 45 minute beatdown at Popeyes (this Wednesday led by the always dangerous Darkwing Duck). YHC’s thoughts quickly turned to the Gnarly Nutria as a nutria was spotted by Hokie Pokey running in the grass near the Pax. YHC took this as a strong omen for an upcoming victory for the World. The native nutria had come out from its hole to bless the World on the morning of the Gnarly Nutria.

    YHC’s confidence continued to grow as he arrived at the Gnarly Nutria to see members of the World surrounding him as the World came out in force. Surely the World would continue their winning streak and extend their dominance over the Uptowners on their home turf. Reluctant Yankee shouted out the rules and scoring system and led the racers to the starting line.

    A record 91 men lined up for the 4th running of the Gnarly Nutria. 51 for the World. 28 for the Uptowners. 12 for the Northshore. After an odd 2 minute countdown, the runners were off in the humidity and the heat for 5.4 miles of sweaty, stupid joy.

    As YHC rounded the first turn of the Gnarly Nutria with Tua and Heisenberg by his side, he his extreme confidence in a victory began to fade and he knew the world might be in trouble in spite of their superior numbers. A mass of Uptowners burst forward past him with a speed the World would be unable to match.

    Then the funk hit. YHC doesn’t want to know what the Uptowners are doing in their fabled Audubon park but the stink of the park was strong last night and surely slowed down the time of the World and the NorthShore who aren’t accustomed to the Uptown Funk.

    Flatline can hold his head high and claim the title “Fastest Man in F3NOLA” for the next 12 months. Flatline finished the Gnarly Nutria IV in a blistering fast 33 minutes. ESPN8 came in second with 35 minutes. In-Time came in third with a time of 38 minutes. Mulligan finished fourth with 39 minutes and Isobar rounded out the top 5 with 39 minutes and 40 seconds.

    4 of the top 5 were Uptowners with In-Time the top finisher for the NorthShore and Shuffles coming in 7th with the top place for the World. Thanks to their domination in speed, the Uptowners overcame the World’s superior numbers.

    The Uptowners won Gnarly Nutria IV with 326 points.

    The World came in second with 260 points

    Northshore came in third with a respectable 127 points coming from only 12 runners.

    Tripleshift wins the award for most significant run of the night as he rucksaked the race in honor of Terabyte who went to be with his Savior, Jesus Christ earlier this year.

    Bogey wins the award for most beautiful face of the night. Thanks for keeping score and being the pretty face waiting for us at the finish line.

    The After Party

    The Pax of 91 – 5 gathered together for post-race Name-O-Rama and the announcements of the winner and top finishers. The Pax began with a moment of silence and prayer thanking God for Terabyte and the role he played in F3NOLA.

    Followed by a far too long Counterama, followed by a far too long Name-O-Rama, the Pax named 9 FNGs. I am guessing that is a new F3NOLA FNG record. Welcome to Mallrats, Bangs, Johnny Football, Polaroid, Mumbles, Body Shots, Incandescent, Apollo, and Hot Pants.

    The Pax gathered together for the infamous sweaty ball-o-man as YHC closed the Pax out in prayer thanking God for the evening and asking Him to use F3 to impact the lives of more men in NOLA. F3 means so much to all of us and may we not hog and hide the friendship, accountability, and growth we have received in F3. Continue to find those men at your work, neighborhood, and in your families who are isolated and struggling. The average American man has less than one friend. YHC has 91. You have 91. Pass this friendship on to others.

    Your Humble Correspondent,

    Rev Sox

    The Results

    1. Flatline
    2. ESPN8
    3. In Time
    4. Mulligan
    5. Isobar
    6. Waterpik
    7. Shuffles
    8. Turbo Tax
    9. Cavalier
    10. Mahatma-Ice
    11. Screw Top
    12. Cowbell
    13. Tinkles
    14. Saban
    15. Fetch
    16. Baby Bjorn
    17. FNG Alex
    18. El Guapo
    19. Sea Biscuit
    20. Sandbar
    21. Rudy
    22. Ya Mom’n Dem
    23. 86
    24. Shorty
    25. SOGO
    26. Jadaveon
    27. Two Yutes
    28. FNG Deano?
    29. Backdraft
    30. Jesus Juice
    31. Nip Tuck
    32. FNG
    33. Heisenberg
    34. Speedy Gonzalez
    35. Quarter Pipe
    36. Bartman
    37. Rev Sox
    38. Tua
    39. FNG
    40. Shooter
    41. FNG
    42. Pai Gow
    43. Amnesia
    44. Bongo
    45. FracSac
    46. Ocho
    47. FNG
    48. Einstein
    49. Nine Lives
    50. Kuch
    51. Kiss
    52. Tool
    53. Baywatch
    54. Gideon
    55. Chewy
    56. Reluctant Yankee
    57. Gumby
    58. FNG
    59. PoBoy
    60. Woz
    61. FNG
    62. FNG
    63. War Eagle
    64. Tanner
    65. FNG
    66. Hawg
    67. Surge
    68. Chowda
    69. Chips
    70. Darkwing Duck
    71. Hokey Pokey
    72. Triple Shift
    73. Jose 10k
    74. Bushwacker
    75. Brown Bag
    76. Earmuffs
    77. Squeal
    78. Moist
    79. DaParish
    80. Uncle Si
    81. Colonial
    82. Mambi
    83. Short Bus
    84. Left Eye
    85. King Kong
    86. Amnesty
    87. Seaman
    88. Cash Bar
    89. Gold Bar
    90. FNG
    91. FNG

  • It Burns, Burns, Burns

    I suppose the morning began like any other summer day in NOLA. Which is to say 80+ degrees before the sun rises and the air felt like eating a hot cup of gumbo. In the sun. After a half marathon. But today being a high holy day on the F3 NOLA calendar, we were keenly alert. And sure enough, one of the four PAX who braved the punishing morning conditions at Popeyes spotted a Nutria emerging from the brush. Fortunately, since there was no sun, there was also no shadow to see, and as (nouveau) legend has it, we can all rest assured that we will NOT have six additional laps at the Gnarly Nutria this evening.

    Warm Up

    Long mosey, including a double parking lot weave, continuing to the grassy knoll (and by knoll, I actually mean a complete flat piece of ground) just west of the Giant Gazebo in the center of the park.

    Exercise x Reps
    SSH x 20
    Mountain Climbers x 20
    Imperial Walkers x 20
    Grass Grabbers x 20
    Arm Circles x 10/10
    Abe Vigotas x 20

    Short mosey to what the Popeyes faithful refer to as the “Clock of Death”.

    Hands of Time

    PAX on their 6, heads toward the center of the Clock of Death, legs up at 90 degrees, hands under your rear. Drop straightened legs to 10 degrees and hold as PAX counts off aloud in a circle pattern:

    Time x Rest (in Seconds)
    60 x 10
    60 x 10
    60 x 10
    40 x 10
    40 x 10
    40 x 10
    20 x 10
    20 x 10

    Ring of Fire

    PAX remains in the center of the Clock of Death. One set of exercises, followed by a run around the interior circle, continuing on to the next exercise. All exercises completed = one Ring of Fire.

    Exercise x Reps
    Merkins x 15
    Jump Squats x 15
    Big Boy Sit-ups x 15
    Monkey Humpers x 15
    Russian Twist x 15

    Unfortunately, time only allowed for 1.5 completions of the Ring of Fire, but no PAX was lacking for sweat, and every PAX appeared to be lacking for breath.  All in all, we clocked 2.42 miles…

    Mosey back to the flag
    COT
    Numberama
    Namearama
    Announcements
    Prayer

  • Jumpin’ Jack Flash

    (Belated Post from 7.12.2019)

    We worked out in a crossfire (almost) hurricane. The PAX howled in the drivin’ rain (sprinkle). But it’s all right now…

    Warm Up

    Micro mosey over to Grass Sticker Field.

    SSH x 20
    Mountain Climbers x 20
    Imperial Walkers x 20
    Grass Grabbers x 20
    LBCs x 20
    Self Love x 10

    Bear Crawlathon ‘19

    Mosey to the power station along the Uptowner track. The mission was to complete a Bear Crawl Indian Run back to the rock pile (wash, rinse, repeat for approx. 1/8 mile) including the following exercises:

    Merkins x 10
    Russian Twist x 10
    Shoulder Taps x 10
    Hello Dolly x 10
    Plank Jacks x 10

    Micro mosey back to the flag
    COT
    Numberama
    Namearama
    Announcements
    Prayer

    This being YHC’s very first Q, there was a desire not to disappoint. And judging by all of the grumbling, the beatdown at the Uptowner was an unqualified success.

  • Gainfully Employed (and Forgetful)

    Being on my feet over at the salon every day is no easy task and, with the Gnarly Nutria only a day away, it seemed like a good idea to give the legs a rest today.  While that may sound like YHC actually had a plan, make no mistake – this was one of those mornings where you wake up with a funny feeling that you might be the Q and, once verified, that maybe you should’ve checked that out yesterday rather than the morning of. 

    But YHC was in luck – it was a light crowd (thanks Cowbell for posting), and he had the fan-favorite ISI challenge of the month to fall back on. 8 minutes of the beatdown already planned for me! Shouldn’t be too difficult to scrounge together another 37 minutes…

    Warmorama: seal jacks, toe touches, arm circles, hillbillies, butt kicks, SSH, all x20 IC.

    ISI Plank, Part 1: 3 mins.

    Mosey over to the tunnel for a routine: x20 diamond merkins at the base of the tunnel, backpedal up to the top, x15 wide-armed merks, mosey back for x10 diamonds, and backpedal up for a final x5 wide-armed. Rinse and repeat, but with the following: Sister Mary K’s (IC) / monkey humpers (IC), big boy sit-ups / putins (IC).

    ISI Plank, Part 2: 3 mins.

    Mosey back to the trailhead for a quick round of partner suicides / squats. Then, just to make the final round of the ISI challenge a little more fun, over to the benches for a round of Freak Nasties, x20 IC.

    Closed out with a Mary of flutters, Freddie’s, and Dolly’s, all Cowbell-style and all IC x20. COT with Cowbell praying us out before diving into the final two minutes of our ISI.

    Thanks for the opportunity to lead and get my head back in the game!

  • Braving the Mountain through the Harsh Mist and Drizzle

    Although lightning and thunder was forecast for Friday morning, the city of New Orleans was lucky to avoid the worst, especially after Wednesday. So 31 PAX gathered on a gloomy, humid, damp Friday morning intent on running some ramps in a parking lot for no reason other than the fact it’s hard.

    A brief, yet still somewhat rambling disclaimer was given, and at 5:30 we set off to get after it.

    Warm-up

    Mosey up St. Charles and back down to grassy area in front of Tulane for a quick warm-up of

    • SSHx20
    • ISWx20
    • Peter Parker Peter x20 each
    • Arm Circles 10/10
    • 10 burpees OYO to clear our heads of the backwards counting that always throws YHC off.

    Mosey to the base of the Mountain for

    • 10 Merkins I/C, sprint one ramp, mosey one ramp
    • 10 Burpees OYO, sprint one ramp, mosey one ramp
    • 10 8-count bodybuilders OYO, sprint one ramp, mosey one ramp
    • 10 angle grinders I/C, sprint one ramp, mosey one ramp
    • Bernie Sanders one ramp, mosey one ramp

    When we arrived at the top, it was a bit damp for the work we needed to do, so we headed down a level for some Catch Me if You Can in 3 rounds and 3 lines to keep it moving:

    • Rd 1: Squats while everyone else holds Al Gore; (when the person in front of you hits 5, you start, at 10, you run down a ramp and back up the stairs and back in line)
    • Rd 2: jump squats
    • Rd 3: jump lunges

    Next, a little tabata for fun. Nothing quite gets the heart rate up like some high intensity tabata. 25 on/10 off. 8 exercises, crowd choice. We ended up doing:

    • flutter kicks
    • Box cutters
    • Burpees
    • 8 count bodybuilders
    • merkins
    • LBC’s
    • 2 other exercises I cannot remember

    The rule was, if you don’t remember the exercise you suggested when it’s up, then we do burpees. Incidentally and unrelated, everyone remembered his exercise.

    Finally, some Mary to seal the deal. 5 exercises

    • American Hammers (FracSac)
    • Leg raises (King Kong)
    • 3 exercises by YHC I cannot remember

    Mosey back to the Flag and arrive exactly at 6:15… or you know, right around that time. COT, name-o-rama, and a prayer of thanks. Thanks for letting this lakeview pax lead the uptown workout.

  • No Problemata Tabata

    24 person tabata? No problem! We’ll head to they gym today and use the stairs.

    WARM UP
    Side straddle hop
    Wind mills
    Grass grabbers
    Low slow squats
    Mountain climbers
    Peter Parkers 
    JLo’s
    Box cutters
    Flutter kicks

    Tabata (40 second workout, 20 second rest, 8 times)

    Divide into 3 groups, each group takes a workout (decline pushups on the Gym stairs) and then rotate through the workouts. ie – group1 on the stairs, group 2 lined up behind them, group 3 behind them. Group 1 starts at Decline pushups, 2 at squats, 3 at bench press. After the set, each group moves to the next station.

    1st Round

    Decline pushups
    Squats
    Bench Press

    2nd Round

    Stair Jumps
    Rows
    Curls

  • Not More Rain, Just More Sweat

    Driving back yesterday from a beucolic camping trip in the mountains of Arkansas, YHC was reintroduced to reality by way of constant rain from AR to LA. And sure enough, not willing to remain under the haven of the covering over the basketball court at the Mash, the PAX were quite thoroughly soaked by the COT. But nary a drop of rain had hit us – the relief of cool droplets would have been too much to hope for. Rather, the men of the Milestone Marsh were freely seeping salty swill from every pore not clogged by dust or dirt. This was how it went down…

    WARM O RAMA

    appx x15 IC:

    Toe Touches

    SSH

    Fire Hydrants

    Scorpion Kicks

    THANG

    ISI part 1 – 2:30

    In honor of our brother Coconuts, whom we miss and eagerly anticipate his eventual, fully-healed return, PAX dropped for 10 Burpees every minute on the minute for 5 minutes, followed by a mosey around the block.

    After the second round came ISI part 2 – 2:30

    MARY

    appx x25 IC:

    LMCs (Lil Manny Crunches)

    Putins

    100s

    Leg Raises

    ISI part 3 – 2:30

    COT

    With the will of responsible adults overcoming the ubiquitous mumble chatter, COUNTORAMA, NAMEORAMA, YHC prayed us out.

    Thank you Sirs Cooley and Cowley for posting this gloom and following the lead of this impulsively overbooked sweat angel-apprentice!

  • Sunday Funday

    YHC arrived at the Renaissance AO about the same time as Hokie Pokey, and the assumption was we would be the only Pax to post. With time approaching 6:00 we thought about a run down the Bayou, until another vehicle came along, and with Gumby it made us three. With the threat of rain, we considered a mosey to the Peristyle, but then Abacus arrived, bringing us to four. YHC needed to bring a solid beat down to make the Sunday Funday worthwhile, so it began with a disclaimer and a mosey around Delong Drive. Circle up in front of NOMA.

    Warmup all IC
    SSH x 30
    IW x 15
    Grassgrabbers x 10
    Arm circles x 20

    First up – Dora 123
    Partner up for the following
    100 Burpees
    200 Squats
    300 LBC’s
    Cumulative count, while other pax runs a lap around NOMA

    Next up – Plank and Step ups
    Stay partnered up. Pax 1 holds plank at top of NOMA steps, Pax 2 completes 20 step ups at NOMA fountain/pond. Flapjack for 5 rounds.

    Total planking was 6 minutes each. Finish the beat down with 1:30 of planking, just to be sure the full 7 minutes was achieved.

    COT
    Count off, Name-o-Rama, announcements, intentions, closed with a prayer to the Sky Q.

    NMM
    YHC did not really want to do much of anything this day, but the other pax posting got this guy motivated and we made our downPainment for the day.
    Coffeteria was attended by all Pax. Good times!
    Thanks for posting with me and for keeping F3 alive!

    SYITG


  • Barry?

    Devoted PAX posted unabashed by the threat of Barry. Meeting locale was moved from the Lakefront to the Milestone Marsh.

    Legal kicked off the beatdown with some warm-ups under the cover provided by Tyler Thomas Park. The rain held off so Legal led the PAX out into the great wide open with a short jog to the median on Marigny Ave.

    Legal organized an hurricane hoedown which consisted of a core routine; 4 exercises, 7 sets. Flutter kick circuit performed in cadence: 7 IC seated flutter kicks with hands raised in hallelujahs. 7 IC slightly reclined flutter kicks, then 7 IC normal flutter kicks, and finally, 7 IC LBC flutter kicks. Rinse and repeat to work your way down the cadence ladder 7,6,5 and so on. Burn baby burn! No mas.

    The remainder of the beatdown was a modified spartan run (30-35 minutes). Each set was broken down into a sprint or jog for half a city block, a 10 rep exercise, then sprint or jog remainder of the block. All at Q’s command. Various ad-hoc combinations ensued (e.g. sprint-burpee-jog; jog-Mercan-jog; sprint-arm circles-sprint, etc. etc.). Bubba and Hammer putting on the after burners with the sprints. Tough beatdown, but no one yak’ed. Great job men!

    Stay safe.

    Bean signing off.

  • The Wrath of Barry

    Jim Cantore scared all of New Orleans when he unexpectedly showed up at the New Orleans Lakefront this week. The F3 Nola Pax were confused, as his appearance at Okwata was on Friday, which was a day late, Okwata workout is Thursday. So several Pax reached out to him on Da Twitter to see if he would join us in City Park for the Mothership, but it wasn’t meant to be.

    7 pax defied the media sensationalism of a hurricane doomsday scenario and showed up expecting a Catfish style beat down, which always leaves us nothing short of spent. But Catfish had to head out of town, and passed the Q to YHC. So, as the clock struck 0630, time for a brief disclaimer, in the cool breezy dry conditions, and mosey to the Great Lawn. During the warmup, the 3 pax from the Muscleship joined us for a United City Park beat down, bringing us to 10. Jim Cantore wishes he had shown up!

    Warmup
    SSH IC x 31
    Imperial Walkers IC x 20
    grass grabbers IC x 10
    Abe Vigodas IC x 10
    Arm Circles IC x 20
    Peter Parker IC x 20
    mountain climber IC x 20
    Parker Peter IC x 20

    Mosey to the first tree on the great lawn for a Catfish classic.
    But first, 10 Burpees OYO just to get the attention of the pax.
    Starting at first tree, bear crawl two trees, complete 10 merkins.
    Crabwalk two trees and complete 10 merkins.
    Bear crawl two trees and complete 10 merkins, followed by 10 burpees.
    Mosey back to street in front of the peristyle.

    Indian run to the Foundry.

    Stations at the Foundry
    5 Stations, 2 pax per station.
    Station 1 – Big Boi Sit-ups AMRAP
    Station 2 – Pull-ups AMRAP
    Station 3 – Ski jump the snake AMRAP
    Station 4 – Merkins AMRAP
    Station 5 – Run to the Bike Track, complete 12 Burpees and run back – Timer

    Divide Pax in two squads, 5 in each squad. Squad 1 completes 20 Merkins IC while Squad 2 holds a 90 degrees flexed arm hang. Flap Jack.
    Rinse and Repeat for a total of 2 full rounds.

    Mosey to the bike track and count off 1,2,1,2 etc. Line up in two columns for Bataan Death March. YHC indicated this was a race. Last man in the column drops off for 3 Burpees and sprints to the front. Continue for a full mile around the bike trail.
    YHC isn’t sure which column finished first, as all gave their best. With that said, we’re all winners for being there! #HIMS

    Complete 2 more rounds of 10 merkins and 90 degrees flexed arm hangs.

    Mosey to the fountain/pond in front of NOMA and hand off the Q to Bongo for a Muscleship finale.

    Dips IC x 20
    Low slow squats IC x 20
    Right leg step ups IC x 15
    Left Leg Step ups IC x 15
    Incline merkins IC x 20
    Low plank for 1 minute
    Decline merkins IC x 20
    LBC’s IC x 30
    *Note – YHC May have it a bit out of order, but that’s pretty much what happened, leaving us all spent.

    COT
    Count off, name-o-Rama, announcements, intentions, and closed with a prayer. During the COT is when Barry decided to show, which drenched the Pax.

    Good times followed the beat down with Coffeteria at Cafe Navarre. Jim Cantore would be jealous if he knew…..his loss!

    Thanks for posting with me today and for allowing me to be a part of such a great group.

    SYITG