F3 New Orleans

Tag: Fast Tax

  • It’s Not Against the Rules – from Fast Tax

    The Uptowner 11/4/2022
    After disclaimer, we headed to the field for warmups consisting of:
    Abe Vigodas
    SSH
    Hairy Rockettes
    Toy Soldiers
    Peter Parkers

    To kick things off post-warmup, and since this was Game Friday, YHC thought, “Why not give PAX a little input into today’s exercises?” Turning to Clinger, YHC presented the options, Catch-Me-If-You-Can or Red Barchetta. Poor Klinger…unaware of the mechanics of either exercise, he chose Catch-Me-If-You-Can, unwittingly exposing himself to Mahatma’s derisive questioning as to why anyone would ever pick that. For Klinger and others who are not familiar, the exercise involved:
    Separating into teams of 2, while PAX 2 ran backwards around the track, PAX 1 did 5 merkins and two burpees then sprinted to catch up, whereupon, PAX 2 did the exercises while PAX 1 ran backwards. This cycle was repeated until YHC made it all the way around the track.

    The next exercise was Go Fetch.
    YHC threw the Frisbee and all PAX sprint in that direction until the Frisbee lands. When it lands, all PAX stop and then lunge-walk until they get to the Frisbee. First PAX to the Frisbee gets to throw it. Rinse and repeat except change out lunge-walk with bear crawl, then the crab-walk, apparently not Mahatma’s favorite…then crab-walk again because someone who will remain nameless threw it only a few feet hoping to skip crabwalks and move on to something else.

    With 25 minutes left, it was Battle Frisburpee time.
    Team 1 – Boo-Boo, Fast Tax, Mahatma, Triple Shift, and Rudy
    Team 2 – Bogey (aka Whiner), Klinger, Cyber Cajun, Pool Boy, and Rudy
    [Clarifying note: Rudy switched to Team 1 with only eight minutes left.]
    Team 1 led early, suffered a Saints moment, then rallied and prevailed, with a final score of 5-4.

    Though YHC has heard many “creative” renditions of various aspects of the game, after consulting with the impartial referee, YHC determined that no rules were broken, () only Team 2’s spirits. Though there was some incidental albeit unintentional contact, it is YHC’s belief that such accidental collisions and inadvertent kicking of the Frisbee were more likely caused by the grass being slick.

    However, to be fair, Team 2 did have a disproportionate share of rookies and there was a minor rule clarification – see below.
    Rule clarifications aside, it was apparent to the referee that several PAX continue to ignore the rule on 3 burpees after your Frisbee goes out or hits the ground, etc.

    With game over, we headed to COT for name-o-rama, announcements, intentions, some whining, and prayer.
    Thanks for the fellowship! SYITG

    Rule Clarification:
    For strategic purposes, the team kicking off can elect to short throw the Frisbee, provided it lands beyond the halfway mark. If it fails to go beyond halfway, it is treated as a turnover (i.e. the opposing team throws it in from the sideline at the point it went out).

  • #F3Counts – from Hawgcycle

    Conditions: Perfect – Clear and 65 degrees. 83% humidity. Wind from the ENE at 4 m/h

    Pax: Belloq, Fastest of Taxes, Glitter Balls, HG, Heisenberg, Hokie, Mahatma, Pool Boy (FNG), Tiny Dancer, Triple Shift, Vagabond, War Eagle, YHC

    Warm-Up
    • SSH x 30; Imperial Walkers x 20; Don Quixote x 10; Low Slow Squats x 15; Merkins x 10; Peter Parker x 15; Parker Peter x 15
    • Bat Wings: Forward Arm Circles x 20; Reverse Arm Circles x -2; Seal Claps x 20; Overhead Claps x 20, Moroccan Night Clubs x 20

    The Thang

    Animals on Parade (20 Yards Each) – Bear Crawl, Crab Walk, Leap Frog with Partner, Inchworm, Kong

    Mosey to the Rock Pile and select a rock.

    Counting Exercises
    • 2 count Rock Merkins x 15
    • 4 count Squats x 10
    • 6 count Catalina Wine Mixers with feet on rock x 10
    • 8 count rock builders x 10
    • 10 count Squat-Curl-Press-Curl-Squat x 10
    • 12 count Around the World Lunges x 10

    Mosey back toward the flag for Rock Toss – Partner up and chunk the biggest rock you have back and forth over the fence to one another. About 5 minutes.

    Return rocks to the Rock Pile and do 20 reps of Crunchy Frog

    Horses to stable back to the flag

    NMM
    • Welcome to our FNG Pool Boy Eh’d by Glitter Balls.
    • It was great to see Vagabond back out there. True to his name he kind of wandered around the playground.
    • I left the SSHs one short this morning. Off my game.
    • I knew Bat Wings was a #CrowdPleaser, but I didn’t realize how much. Mahatma made his disdain known just in case anyone was wondering. I had planned to go even further, but I was satisfied once Triple and War Eagle started jawing at each other about perseverance and form.
    • Fracsac and Bolt weren’t in attendance, so I felt fine calling Moroccan Night Clubs. Dancing was highly discouraged, although Tiny Dancer flashed a little preview of what he is capable of. Frac is not in the same league, but who is?
    • There was discussion as to whether crabs and inchworms are animals. The answer is yes. An animal is any living organism that feeds on organic matter, typically having specialized sense organs and nervous system and able to respond rapidly to stimuli. Basically, if you can pronounce it and it ain’t a plant or toe fungus, it’s an animal.
    • My 12 year old daughter has been mopping the floor with me at Equations – a math game she plays at school that involves a bunch of dice, numbers, operations, solutions, etc. I need to practice my counting skills. Hence the different cadences. IN
    • The Rock Toss was an oldie but a goodie. I’m pretty sure I am going to be feeling it over the next couple of days. No one ended up with dog feces on their face today. That’s always a win.
    • At one time I had the password to the F3 NOLA Twitter Account. Unfortunately I am now locked out, because there are some movie trailers I would like to post. Back when I had access it was common for different regions to tweet out the number of pax that posted that day and hashtag it with #F3Counts. It was a pun. I probably don’t need to explain it. A lot of people didn’t realize it was used to post actual counts. So you would often see it used when someone would post something meaningful about F3. They may have missed the pun, but they understood the important part. F3 has value. It is significant. It counts. That fact was on full display today. We had a new guy post. He was invited by a man that has been posting for two months and already realizes that everyone needs this. We had a few guys too injured to do the full bootcamp. They showed up and did what they could because they realize how important it is. We had a recent kotter that realizes he needs it again and is committed to returning. He held up his commitment this morning by starting the second week of his return. I had friends there today that I have been sharing the morning with for 5, 6, even 7 years. Where else do we get that? The physical fitness is significant. More significant are the friendships. And even more significant is the spiritual growth and the opportunity to be a part of something. Sometimes we have trouble keeping up, sometimes we have to modify, and sometimes we get off cadence. But it’s good to know we can rely on F3 to be there when we need it. Let’s do our part to make sure F3 always Counts.

  • BALL BUSTER – from Fast Tax

    Nine PAX braved the spooky gloom on All Hallows Eve and joined YHC at Rock City.

    Warmups were a sprinkle of typical moves with a few Fast Tax favorites: Grass Grabbers, SSHs, Manatee, Swan Dives, and everyone’s favorite – Crab Merkins.

    Sufficiently warmed, we picked out our medium to heavy rocks (except War Eagle) and lined up along the sidewalk for the morning’s first exercise – Hair Burners. Hair Burners is essentially the pushing of a rock ahead of you while bear crawling.

    Next up in the morning’s festivities was Welsh Dragons.
    Remain in plank position the whole time. Bear crawl forward 4 steps, do 1 merkin, 1 plank jack, and tap the BACK of each shoulder 1 time. Repeat adding 1 rep to each exercise each time – bear crawl forward 4 steps, do 2 merkins, 2 plank jacks, 2 sets of back of shoulder taps… etc., repeated until we passed the sidewalk.

    Picking up our rocks, we circled up for Captain Thor – An ab exercise done in a 1:4 ratio OYO, 1 big boy sit up to 4 American Hammers.

    Without further ado, the time that PAX had eagerly awaited had come to pass – the introduction* of BALL BUSTER.

    Ball Buster (credit to Mahatma for the naming idea) is a combination of Capture the Flag and Dodge Ball, except there are no boundaries. PAX form two teams. Each side has a blue ball (referred to as the Flag), which must be positioned at a pre-identified location on each team’s base and each PAX on the team is given one non-blue ball. The object is to steal the opposing sides blue ball (i.e. their flag) and bring it back to your base. The team scored against has to do three burpees.

    Similar to dodge ball, PAX can use the ball to hit or “tag” an opposing player or block an incoming ball. If you are hit, or the person you are throwing at catches the ball, you have to immediately drop your ball and do two burpees or five merkins.
    PAX can only hold one ball at a time. In order to pick up the flag, you must drop the ball if you are carrying one. You can pick up a tagged PAX’s ball and throw it away, but only after dropping your own.

    However, when carrying the opposing team’s flag, it can be strategically used as a regular ball to hit or tag an opposing player. If the opposing team retrieves their flag (b/c the carrier was hit and had to drop the ball), it must be brought or thrown back to base and placed in the same pre-identified spot. A player cannot just run around with the Flag in their possession (Bogey).

    Halfway through the game, the teams should switch sides.
    Optional Rule: A team cannot score unless their own Flag is at their base. For example, if YHC captured the opposing team’s Flag, I cannot bring it back to my base unless my Flag is already at my base, i.e. the opposing team does not have it.

    Having dispensed with the game rules, play commenced.
    Team 1: Bogey, Hawg Cycle, Mahatma, Hokie, Cyber Cajun
    Team 2: Hand Grenada, Fast Tax, War Eagle, Tiny Dancer

    Even with Team 1’s penalty for hiding the ball in Bogey’s shirt, Team 1 still carried the day winning 3 to 2.

    With time running out, we headed to COT for Name-o-rama, announcements, intentions, and prayer.

    Thanks for the fellowship!
    SYITG

    * Technically a re-introduction since YHC debuted it a month prior to a small group of 6 PAX.

  • Cool Hand Grenada – from Hand Grenada

    Conditions: Clear and 60 degrees. Humidity 63%. Wind 7 m/h from the North

    Pax: Belloq, Bolt, Fast Tax, Frac, Hand Grenada, Klinger, PVC, Yankee, Tiny Dancer, Triple, War Eagle, and YHC

    It started when I realized that HG was way over the workout requirement, but didn’t have enough Qs to get his name on the bat. Leading a workout is not a problem for HG. He’s a great leader. His problem is that he never signs up to Q on the website. He just kind of appears each week, coming from somewhere beyond the railroad tracks with a cup of coffee in hand. We assume he lives over there somewhere on the other side of the tracks. We’re not sure if he has a car or even a house for that matter. He clearly has access to coffee and some type of precise instrument for keeping time, as he always appears within 15 seconds of the start of the workout.

    So working off the premise that he doesn’t have a computer, I scheduled five Qs for him so he can get his name on the bat. After the first one, I realized that I would also have to write the backblast. Then he sent me a text (who knew he had a phone?) and said he needed to go to the dentist. I recommended one and then he asked if I could check and see if they had availability on Tuesday at 3:00. Next thing you know I’m receiving calls from people wanting to meet with him on my phone. I reach out to him and he says it might just be easier if he shares his calendar with me online. That way I can just set up the meetings. At this point, I’m starting to think he does have a computer. By the way, he also has a car. I took it in for an oil change last Friday.

    While I was at Target this past weekend, picking out Christmas gifts for his wife’s family, I started to get a little upset about the situation. But that changed at this morning’s workout. I realized that HG is not using me as his personal secretary. He is seeking my guidance in every aspect of his life. He looks to me as a mentor. Every morning he gets up and reads my Back Blasts, the same way one my start their day with the Meditations of Marcus Aurelius. Since starting F3, HG has worked to commit all of my writings to memory. This morning he reflected on the first two F3 workouts at Pontiff.

    The Thang

    • Gather at the track and mosey out near the tennis courts for our Warm-Up – This was executed flawlessly by HG.
    • Warm-up COP: SSH x 30; Low Slow Squats x 20; Merkins x 15; Imperial Walkers x 25; Mountain Climbers x 20; X-fit Push-ups x 10 – Here HG abbreviated some of the exercises. He only did 10 merkins in a two count cadence. At this point Triple Shift pointed out – the back blast had more merkins and if you read the teachings of Hawg, you can infer that they were done using a four count cadence. It please YHC to see that HG is not the only man meditating on my writings.
    • Mosey to the Rock Pile and select your rock, then mosey with your rock to the flag football field for the next COP – Good execution here, although he went to the actual football field.
    • Rock COP: Squat and Press x 12; Cusak Squats x 7, Shoulder Press x 12; Curls x 12, Hot Foot left leg x 12; Hot Foot right leg x 12 – HG went a little of script here. He dropped the Shoulder presses and the Hot foots, opting instead for chest presses and more squats. We did 12 reps of all exercises in the first round, then he added another round of 10 reps each.
    • Mosey Cusak style to the restrooms – watch out for tree roots – The execution here started out well, but I think he got lost at the end of the parking lot and ended up at the pump instead of the bathrooms. This was also out of order.
    • People’s chair with rock in lap x 20 seconds; Stay in People’s Chair and do 5 Chest Presses IC; Rinse and Repeat. Grab your rock and head for some light. – Excellently executed by HG. He actually added an additional 2 rounds to impress the ladies on the track.
    • Lunges with Rock 10 strides; 5 burpees OYO; Lunge back to starting position with rock; 5 more burpees OYO. Pile the rocks. – This was replaced with a pearl from the first Rock City workout. We spider-man crawled 10 yards, did 5 burpees, repeated and sprinted to the other side. We then did the same thing using lunges.
    • Boss Keane’s Rock Pile: Spread out in arms length next to Boss Keane’s rock pile. In cadence, first man picks up a rock and sets it down between him and the next man. Continue until rock pile has been moved to the end of the line. HG brought back one of Amnesty’s favorites here. Only a few pax have done this before and it showed. HG chose not to count it in cadence. The pax were just grabbing rocks and tossing them to the side. PVC and Bolt showed no regard for the shoeless pax among us. Once the rock pile was moved, HG did make us move it back. Although I was disappointed he didn’t count it in cadence, I was impressed by his embodiment of Boss Paul
    • Come to find out, that is not where Boss Keane wanted his rock pile…move it back – We did this, but not impressively.
    • I thought I said to move Boss Keane’s rock pile…Yes Boss – Skipped it.
    • What’s Boss Keane’s rock pile doing over here – I don’t know boss – Move it back. – Skipped it.
    • Mosey to the hill and drop off your rock. Extended Mosey to baseball field for 6 MOM. – We kept our rocks and did mary by the pump.
    • 6 MOM: Crunchy Frog x 15; LBC x 30; Russian Twist x 20; Freddy Mercury x 30; Ran out of time before he got to the Freddy Mercuries. Other wise it was perfect. Given the political climate of 2022 compared to 2014, HG led us in American Hammers as opposed to Russian Twist.
    • Mosey back to the hill (running over it this time) Grab a rock and take it back to the rock pile. Mosey (horse to barn style) back to the shovel flag for COT – Dropped the rocks off at the pile and sprinted to the flag.

    HG lead us in prayer to close it out. He did a great job today. I’m proud to be this young man’s mentor.

  • Burpeepalooza – from Bolt

    An empty Q sheet required the site AO to take charge and ensure the PAX got their promised burpee count on this brisk Friday. Disclaimer given and mosey to the field for warmorama, Rapper’s Delight edition. The concept would be simple: musically driven burpees with various exercises between the chorus followed by various modes of movement. The execution, however, was severely hindered by War Eagle incessantly working only his jaw and Bogey—well, being Bogey. Despite the PAX’s best efforts, my iWatch said the beatdown was satisfactory and SOME of us completed 137 burpees.
    Mosey to flag and circle up for “cool down” which according to SOME people was NOT: Al Gore long enough for Bogey to bitch about it followed by one minute of dying cockroaches and finish with a plank for less than a minute because War Eagle “claimed” time was up.
    Proud to b part of this group and appreciate you men!
    “Roxanne” by The Police–“Roxanne”/Imperial Walkers
    Bear crawl 10 yards
    “Red Solo Cup” by Toby Keith–“Cup” and “Up”/Alternating Reverse Lunge
    Crab walk 10 yards
    “This is Who I Am” by Third Day–“This is who I am”/Bunny Hops
    “Black Betty” by Ram Jam–every “Black Betty”/Toy Soldiers
    Bunny hop yards
    “Peaches” by The Presidents of the USA–“Peaches”/Squats
    Broad jump 10 yards
    Flower” by Moby–burpees on every “Down”/SSH

  • Rock Soup – from Hawgcycle

    Conditions: 71 degrees, Humidity 93%, Wind 1.1 mi/h from NW

    Pax: Rudy, Mahatma, Boo-Boo, Klinger, Fast Tax, Tenderloin, YHC

    Seven pax arrived at Rock City in a soupy, gloom. 5 were foolish enough to follow YHC. Wisdom comes with age and Tenderloin did his thing on the track.

    Warm-up
    • SSH x 31; Shoulder Taps x 15; IW x 20; Peter Parker x 15; Grass Grabbers x 10; LBCs x 20

    The Thang
    • 100 yard bear crawl
    • Big Boi sit-ups as we waited for the six. We didn’t wait long.

    Mosey to the Playground (the long way)
    • Pull-ups (3 sets of 10) and Merkins (AMRAP)
    • Swerkins (3 sets of 10), Big Bois (AMRAP), and Squats (AMRAP)

    Mosey to the Rock Pile and pick a rock you can press (ambiguously) 10-15 times, then mosey to the far end of the football field for Rock Suicides
    Curls
    • Carry Rock to 25 yd line; 10 curls; drop rock; sprint to goal line and back
    • Carry Rock to 50 yd line; 10 curls; drop rock; sprint to goal line and back
    • Carry Rock to 75 yd line; 10 curls; drop rock; sprint to goal line and back
    • Carry Rock to 100 yd line (aka opposite goal line); 10 curls; drop rock; sprint to goal line and back

    Repeato with Shoulder Presses (but only up to 50 yards)

    Repeato with Bench Presses (but only up to 50 yards)

    Return rocks and horses to stable back to the v-flag.

    NMM
    • I knew these men weren’t playing around after the 100 yard bear crawl. Guys were getting after it. No breaks, and stayed off their knees
    • YHC’s communication skills were not the best this morning. A little bit of a cluster with the pull-ups. Although my ambiguity at the Rock Pile worked out. I told guys to pick a rock they could press 10 times. I meant shoulder press, but some interpreted it as bench press and got a bigger rock than they might have otherwise. That made it just right for the rock suicides.
    • T-claps to Klinger for really pushing it on the last sprint of every set.
    • We only had 6 but it was a strong 6. YHC feels like we had a pretty good pace and got some good work in.
    • Boo-Boo and Rudy were keeping each other honest on the swerkins.
    • Mahatma’s extra trip around the sun doesn’t seem to have slowed him any.
    • We tried to celebrate Mahatma’s birthday, but Rudy was there and let us know we weren’t finished celebrating his yet. We thought it was over after Saturday’s Yipee bag, but I think he was wanting a small celebration at PJs. I skipped coffee, but I heard Mahatma had to buy Rudy’s coffee.
    • T-claps for Tenderloin for his consistency. He’s putting in the work every day.

  • Just the Three of Us… – from Fast Tax

    Three PAX avoided the IPC madness for a day, choosing to venture forth to the Goldmine. YHC did not have a clue how many would heed the call, so a little over-preparation was necessary. Unfortunately, my plans largely anticipated at least four. Alas, that was not the case (thanks @Rudy) as some appeared to have slept in today. No matter, with a comfortable wind in our face, and YHC’s big bag of stuff, we endeavored to make it entertaining at least.

    Warmups were a sprinkle of Fast Tax favorites: Hairy Rockettes, Toy Soldiers, Mountain Goats, Nancy Kerrigans, and Manatees. Sufficiently warmed, it was time to see what YHC had in the bag…

    First item out of the bag was……drum roll……a balloon.

    Introducing a new Fast Tax creation; we’re calling it Plank Floaters (credit to Bogey and PVC for naming ideas).

    Plank Floaters begins with one PAX holding a balloon while the remaining PAX, in a plank position, create a circle around him. PAX count off (remembering their number) and the game begins with the PAX in the center calling out a number as he hits the balloon into the air. The PAX whose number is called must jump up and hit the balloon back up, before it touches the ground, while calling out another number. Meanwhile, after each PAX hits the balloon, they sprint to the spot around the circle just left open by the PAX they just called. If the balloon hits the ground or pops, all PAX do five burpees and then play resumes.

    YHC must note here that Plank Floaters was designed for a larger group and not a lot of wind. Nonetheless, we modified with no plank and the three of us just roving in and out keeping it in the air (windy). But, one person can’t touch it twice in a row. This mod made it a lot more aerobic since we had to essentially chase the balloon while avoiding obstacles and each other. By the end of the exercise, we had done 80 burpees.

    Putting away the last balloon, b/c YHC popped three of them, we reached in the bag for the next item – a disc…Disc Burpee anyone?

    Forming a triangle, the disc was thrown(?) from one PAX to the next, with PAX taking one step back for every rotation around the triangle. If you dropped or missed a disc that was catchable, you had 2 burpees. Conversely, if you overthrew or underthrew, you had 2 burpees. By the end, Bogie was the clear winner, having the fewest burpees, while YHC and PVC likely made it to the 100 burpee mark for the day.

    With time running out on our entertaining yet aerobic Friday fun, we headed to COT for Name-o-rama, announcements, intentions, and prayer.

    Thanks for the fellowship!
    SYITG

  • Stations and Decking – from Fracsac

    11 Pax at El Diablo to get stronger, witness the bat and the wood, and to partake in some COT Coffeteria.

    Warmup with the regular warmup stuff, although many strange looks when moving on without any MNC.

    First up, Stations. There were coupons and a sandbag, a jump rope and a battle rope. There were also two cones. The timer was bear crawl 25 yards, then have LBC station throw the football. A clean catch and we rotate, a dropped pass and we all do 5 burpees. We did a few…..

    After one full rotation, off to giant deck of death!
    Diamonds – 8 count body builders
    Hearts – Big Boi sit-ups
    Spades – Squats
    Clubs – Flutter Kicks

    After a bunch of cards, left enough time for one more round of stations.

    COT

    Coffeteria at the flag.

    NMM

    YHC woke up early to grind some PJs Anniversary Blend beans and brew about 60 ounces of awesome coffee with the French Press! Great opportunity to mingle post beat down!

    Mahatma was key in fixing our battle rope bench.

    Passed the bat around during name-o-rama. The bat is going limp…..?

    SYITG