Tag: Fast Tax

  • Frac Attack (Oh No He Didn’t) – from Fast Tax

    The Uptowner 8/12/2022

    Backblast disclaimer: Given the passage of time, YHC’s aging memory, and the Fracsac transgression, the events in this exercise represent my best recollection of what transpired and may not be entirely factual.

    After disclaimer, we headed to the field to attempt to find a dry-ish spot for warmups consisting of:
    Grass Grabbers
    SSH
    Hairy Rockettes
    Toy Soldiers
    Swan Dives

    Catch-Me-If-You-Can was the first exercise. Separating into teams of 2, while PAX 2 ran backwards around the track, PAX 1 did 10 merkins then sprinted to catch up, then PAX 2 did the merkins while PAX 1 ran backwards. This cycle was repeated until we made it all the way around the track.

    Next, we circled up for a roll of the dice. In a circle, PAX took turns rolling the 10 sided exercise die gifted to YHC on his birthday Q from Bolt. Exercises included burpees, merkins, LBCs, and others that I can no longer remember.

    With 25 minutes left, it was time for Battle Frisburpee.

    Team 1 – Rafiki, Smalls, Hand Grenada, and Fast Tax
    Team 2 – PVC, Glamper, FracSac, and Bogey

    While Team 2 prevailed (3-1), it was likely in large part to Fracsac’s blind-side tackling of YHC as YHC was about to score. It is likely that without the incorporation of tackling into the game, Team 1 would have triumphed…at least that is how my concussed brain recalls it…

    Also noteworthy in the game was PVC’s use of passing the ball from one baller to another in order to tag more opposing players. While the move was clever and not specifically prohibited in the rules (yet), this use of the ball is still being reviewed by the Battle Frisburpee committee…a ruling is expected before the next game.

    With game over, we headed to COT for name-o-rama, announcements, intentions, and prayer.
    Thanks for the fellowship! SYITG

  • Charmin’s VQ – Building Boulder Men – from Charmin

    Rock City Workout 8/22

    Abe-Slow-goadas x 15
    Side straddle hops x 20
    Arm Circles
    Forwards x 20
    Backwards x 20
    T-Claps x 15
    Morracan Night Clubs x 15

    Mosey to Rock Pile

    Teams of two pick 1 light to medium rock
    One person does curls
    Other person does calf raises x 20 for time
    Then Triceps lifts behind the head
    Calf raises x 20 for time

    Two sets of that

    Mosey to side field

    YHC describes The thang:

    First person throws rock.
    Second person jogs/runs to rock, throws it farther, then jogs/runs back
    Meanwhile first person is doing the exercise

    100 Merkins
    200 LBC’s
    300 squats

    Once the rock is thrown to/past the goal line, the next person runs to rock and brings it back to start. Other person the. Throws rock and repeats until Dora is done.

    Once we were done we did 10 overhead presses alternating people back to the rock pile

    6-ish minutes of mary at the end.
    10 Frog mans
    26 J-lo’s
    10 hammers
    10 penguins

    Lunges back to the flag

    Name o Rama and COT

  • Rocky Top – from Vagabond

    Warmup mid football field then onward to rock pile and then to hill where pax did 11s back and forth from bottom to top: not sure what you call it but squat down to pick up rock on ground and hand clean it above head, then back on the ground again (1 rep) and then bear crawl to top of hill and other exercise was bob-n-weave. After 11s bear crawl to other side of hill pushing rock. Death marched to gym with rocks. Circled up for pax choice rock exercise while rotating counter clockwise to use each others’ rocks. Return to rock pile and flag for COT.

  • It Wasn’t the Game Played, But It Was the Game Played – from Boo-Boo

    Disclaimer given and a mosey to the rock pile area for a warm-o-rama consisting of typical warmup exercises such as SSH, 4-count Abe Vigodas, MC, PP, IW, and mountain man poopers.

    PAX were instructed to grab a medium rock, one that could be used for triceps extensions. Rudy felt there was a dichotomy in the instruction bc a medium rock and triceps extensions do not go together. YHC set a repeating alarm for 5 minutes. Every time the dog barked, PAX had to do 5 burpees. Rinse and repeat.

    PAX were directed to the parking lot behind the gym. While in route, there was mumblechatter between Fast Tax and YHC about the unusual breeze, which YHC thought was typically associated with rain at this time of year.

    Pax lined up in the parking lot for Lt. Dans to the gym. As we arrived at the gym, the rain started. Change of plans! PAX were instructed to assume the People’s Chair under the covering, with their rock, to complete overhead presses and curls in cadence. Occasionally rows were thrown in for variety.

    As the rain increased and the parking lot started to hold water, Bogey felt a significant draw to play in the puddles. PAX were directed to the deepest puddle for facedown Aquamans (Supermans in a puddle), followed by face up Aquamans. Only three PAX elected to stay under cover and missed out on the fun. It was noted that these kind of shenanigans would ever be attempted at an uptown beatdown, while also pointing out that our uptown brother in attendance was all in!

    Rinse and repeat the peoples chair routine and Aquamans, adding Abe Lincolns to the puddle fun.

    At one point, PAX went balls to the wall while attempting shoulder taps. Only Fast Tax was able to complete said maneuver, so it was quickly changed to vertical merkins in cadence.

    Rocks were returned and mosey back to the flag for a COT.

    While the surprise rain storm was not in the game plan, it was the game played. Adaptability is a pillar of effective leadership, and this group was very encouraging and accommodating.

  • Gonna Feel That In The Morning – from Fast Tax

    It was the usual hot, humid, and sloppy August morning at El Diablo as 11 PAX assembled, eager to push themselves and their brothers.

    YHC could tell from the chattiness during the disclaimer that a few audibles were going to be called this morning. After disclaimer, we moseyed to the rock pile accompanied by War Eagle’s lamentations that Rock City was Monday and today was Wednesday…in case YHC was not aware.

    Warmups consisted of SSH, Grass Grabbers, Hairy Rockettes, and Swan Dives

    After “low-medium” rock selections, we lined up against the fence in peoples chair for 10 reps of rock-a-bye-baby – a six count head and chest workout in cadence.
    Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum followed until we hit the sidewalk.

    Still bearing the brunt of PAX chit-chat, YHC opted to get a little dirty… Bring on the medium Hairburners. This involved PAX lining up in a plank and then pushing the rock across the slushy puddle-strewn field until we reached the fence whereupon we crawled backwards, pulling the rock back to the starting point.

    Rocks Up was next (20 reps IC), followed by the Bear Crawl Snake> punctuated by War Eagle’s admiration of Hand Grenada’s calves.

    After a brief mosey, YHC found a suitably nasty patch of ground triangulated by 3 trees, around which PAX would break into 3 groups for the Bearmuda Triangle. All PAX do 2 burpees then bear crawl to next tree, 4 burpees, then bear crawl to next tree, 8 burpees, then bear crawl to next tree, 16 burpees.

    Sufficiently dirty, we headed back to our rocks for one final punishment – Rapid Fire Rock Set, where YHC delegated the cadence calling to the Chatty Kathy members of the group.

    With aching shoulders and a couple of minutes to spare, slow Abe Vigodas were in order, followed by a quick mosey to the COT, circling up at 6:14:59 – that’s Fast Tax efficiency…
    Name-o-rama, announcements, intentions, and prayer.

    Thanks for the fellowship!
    SYITG

    Hokie, Hand Grenada, PVC, HawgCycle, Rudy, Boo-Boo, Fast Tax, Scan Tron, War Eagle, Gabrielle, Pilsbury

  • You Were Warned! – from Fracsac

    YHC arrived a little early to set up for what would be a serious beat down. The Pax started to join, wondering why they didn’t seek a different AO since this was clearly labeled “This is gonna suck.”
    A Down Range Pax from Waxhaw arrived with a couple minutes to spare, glad YHC planted a flag today. Jingles had no idea what he was getting himself into….

    At 0530, disclaimer given with a short mosey to the field for a warmup, which consisted of normal stuff. Only things worth mentioning were the Toy Soldiers and Moroccan Night Club where dancing was highly encouraged.

    Motivator – a deconstructed SSH. That got the Pax attention!

    Seven cones set out 5 yards apart for Lucky 7 BLIMPS.
    7 burpees at first cone, 6 at second, and so forth. After 1 burpee run to other end zone and back and wait for the 6. Continue with Lunges, imperial walkers, merkins, plank jacks and squats.

    Deconstructed Burpees – squats, thrusters, merkins, thrusters, squat jumps. Once complete, put it all together for burpees with the 30 seconds remaining.

    Mosey back to flag for COT

    Thanks for joining me today.

    SYITG
    

  • The KING of the Wood – from Mahatma

    The King of the Wood is now a legend of lore in fires forged by El Diablo……Hokie.

    That said I apologize for the delayed BB as the work out was written in Elf dust.

    So like many prior beatdowns YHC attempted to establish a “serious” tone by calling out “grab assing” and “jaw jacking” which actually backfired as should be expected. So with the chatter of a school girl soccer team we headed to the field for the warm up.

    Speaker in place with a “planned” playlist blaring tunes for mental distractions.

    Standard cadence of 5-10 ea
    SSH
    ABVAGODA
    GOOD MORNINGS
    MNT MAN POOPERS
    BURPEES

    Before the fun began the “Greenie” rule was established. This was adapted from Willie saying how the Uptowners deal with tune disconnect. Any time a PAX doesn’t like the tune they can change it with a penalty of 5 Burpees – each time the same pax changes a tune their penalty increases by 5 so 2nd = 10 3rd = 15 and so on.

    There was a battle over hated and favorite tunes between War Eagle, Fast Tax, Boo-boo, Rudy and maybe Handgranada. And plenty of penalty burpees!

    So the beatdown was 25 x various exercises some single some double. Finishing with a 100 yd bear crawl then the finale: A/C D/C’s Burbee Thunder Struck – roughly 30-34 depending on your hearing.

    COT

    Congrats again to Hokie the hard charger that was etched history!

    Proud to have the opportunity to lead and know that I push buttons but it’s nothing personal just trying to get the most out of all of us

    SYITG

  • A squirrel while doing squrls – from Boo-Boo

    After the standard disclaimer. PAX moseyed to the rock pile for warmup including SSH x 31, Arm circles 10 forward/ 10 backwards, Abe Vigodas x10, Grass Grabbers x10, Mountain Climbers x 20, and Toy Soldiers aka Hairy Rockettes aka Kim Jung-uns.

    PAX were instructed to grab a medium rock and proceed to the parking lot near the “running path.”

    LT. Dan across parking lot to the gym.

    3 sets of 25 (Or is it two? Let’s stick with three) triceps extension/chest press (75 total)
    Mosey 50 yards, 10 mountain climbers (2 is 1), and Bernie Sanders back

    SSH waiting for 6

    3 sets of 25 rows (75 total)
    Karaoke 50 yards, 10 American Hammers (2 is 1), and Karaoke back

    SSH waiting for 6

    3 sets of 25 (75 total) squrls (squat, curl)
    Mosey 50 yards, 10 LBCs, and mosey Back

    Tclaps to Rudy, who was the only PAX to complete the third set of squrls. Ironically, on his return mosey, Rudy chased a squirrel (while yelling “squirrel, squirrel”) that was innocently trying to cross the parking lot on its way to get some breakfast.

    Once PAX gained their composure from Rudy’s delirium caused by oxygen deprivation, they returned their rocks and moseyed to the flag.

    COT, prayer lead by War Eagle, OUT! It’s always an honor to lead HIM and helps me to become a better leader.