F3 New Orleans

Tag: Mahatma

  • Lucky Bear vs Form Police – from King Kong

    Q vs Q on 1/7/2022

    Our Department had been receiving calls for months about a group of “guys” working out at 5:30 a.m in Kenner. The complaints were never about the noise or other nuisances, but they were about the form. He complained about the push ups…. (they call it “Merks or Merkins”), squats, lunges, burpees, and the list goes on. I recognized his voice every time he called. I couldn’t ignore his complaints anymore since he was so persistent and passionate about the form. As Lieutenant King Kong from the Form Police Department, I showed up on 1/7/2022 ready to hand out citations.

    Upon arrival, I noticed 13 other “guys” (they call themselves “Pax”) showed up promptly on a cold, chilly, windy morning. While I was introducing myself to the Pax and why I was there…. One of the Pax called himself “Rudy” aka Lucky Bear was challenging and questioning me like he was defending his turf.

    A Kenner Native named “Mambi” led a warm up with jumping jacks (they call it “side straddle hops”), windmills (aka “Abe Vigoda”), and a stretch named “grass grabbers.”

    I saw an opportunity to take the lead after Mambi was done with the warmups. I called out another Kenner Native – Mahatma to demonstrate the proper form of a Merkin…. then Gabrielle with squats. After the demonstrations, I led the Pax with 10 merkins, ran to the stop sign, did 10 squats, ran back. When I noticed bad forms, I blew my whistle and everyone had to do 5 burpees. We did that for about 2 rounds… then Lucky Bear interrupted me by telling the Pax to grab a “coupon”, which is a cinder block, and headed towards the levee.

    At the levee, we did something called Gorilla. With a coupon, PAX performed the following OYO without stop: 8 Curls For Girls, 8 Rows, 8 Overhead Presses, 8 Chest Presses, then drop coupon followed this up by a quick mosey over the levee and back. Rinse and repeat until Lucky Bear yelled “halt.” Afterwards, we did few rounds of king kong with the coupon up and down the levee until Lucky Bear yelled halt again.

    At this point, I’m getting tired of Lucky Bear’s nonsense… so I gathered the Pax away from the levee and redirected their focus back on form, but this time with the coupon. We did 7’s (one side with a manmaker, ran to the stop sign and did squats). About half way through, I was interrupted again by Lucky Bear. He must have loved my idea of 7’s. He instructed the Pax to do “Lucky 7’s” – 7 burpees follow with an exercise of his choice in one minute for seven minutes nonstop. I blew my whistle couple times when I noticed his bad form.

    By the end of this, Mambi had enough and halted the entire workout because the environment felt like Form Police versus Lucky Bear. The group voted that I was the winner…. didn’t even know I was in a competition. Now I was asked by the Pax to come back out to Kenner in a month and challenge someone else. They called this “Q vs Q.” I called this a sucker bet to get me out to Kenner at 5:30 a.m. Since I don’t mind getting back out here, only fitting for me to challenge the caller who filed all these complaints. He is Triple Shift.

    Side notes worth mentioning – Fracsac showed up in a Godzilla costume looking for King Kong. Willie is the one who gave me the idea to be Form Police. But the Oscar award winning acting and calling out Triple Shift…. That’s all me.

    Blessed and honored to lead a Q vs Q workout. SYITG.

    King Kong

  • All Day Baby……#2 – from Mahatma

    All Day Baby…..(it may take that long to read this thing)
    There is so much diversity in our Pax that if you stick around long enough you’ll learn something not only about various beatdowns but yourself as well!

    This leads us to the gloom of today…..
    YHC had an idea for incorporating a recent Rudy based beatdown and lore from recent grow rucks (and past military experiences) all designed to make a physically and mentally uncomfortable environment while pushing beyond a comfort zone.

    Short disclaimer then mosey to the great lawn circle up for a quick warm up of SSH, windmills, grass grabers, side lunges and self love.

    Then line up for craw-daddy’s where you start in a plank position bar crawl approx 10 yds perform 2 merkins and 2 double unders bear crawl another 10 yds then 4 and 4, bc then 6 and 6, bc then 8 and 8 now hold plank for the 6.

    We are getting warm now! Oh look hear 5 blocks set up in a line – all pax line up in plank position shoulder to shoulder on the left of the blocks now side step plank across and over until the last pax completes the line HOLD plank once complete we went back the other direction!

    Now warmed up the morning mission is given out pax divided into 4 groups 3 of 3 and 1 of 4 (Diddy Kong was the muscle of this group). Each group was to carry a block overhead at all time – if for any reason the block was lowered below eye level then the that team of pax had to do 3 burpees with instructions given we headed out for our objective – YHC left some additional blocks by the Stomp’s starting point to be retrieved – along the way YHC would have the groups stop for some varied exercises (blocks must be maintained in the overhead position). See a need for some change at some point YHC had PAX circle up and instructed that the blocks over head could be lowered yet there was some hesitancy by a few pax that thoughts this might be some evil trick to have them do burpees – not the case yet Rudy even requested YHC to make some ridiculous statement “Simon Says”. It was left up to his judgement to follow or not. From here we were close to a 1/2 point – so we pushed on – Once at the Stomp teams now retrieved 2 additional blocks that had to be farmer carried back with 1 Pax still keeping the other block over head. YHC realized he under estimated the strength of Vagabond and his gang as they seemingly toyed with their overhead block holding it with one hand while the rest of us grunted and mentally pushed through YET karma had her way when during an exchange their block dropped and so did they giving 3 punish burpees.

    As we were 1/2 way back Snooze all of as sudden remembered he had leave 15 minutes early putting his team of YHC and Frac to ponder the thought of carrying the blocks solo! Well YHC being selfish attempted to push the pace apparently giving the impression he was looking past his teammate Frac but with all the chirping from the normal suspects of Bogy and Rudy (maybe War Eagle too but he often got sidetracked as many millennials do looking at text on his phone while he was supposed to be working). Anyway YHC knew Fracs strength to carry on!

    Back at the great lawn we finished the adventure with some individual block exercises (and complaining) closing with some more block over block plank trains and 10 man makers.

    As we returned to the flag YHC requested the blocks be returned to his truck where Rudy was defiant until he he heard “Simon Says”.

    COT – prayers of gratitude and humility for serving others. Also recognizing the strength of joy in others as Tool is prepping for an 18 year birthday celebration for Speed-Racer.

    God Bless

  • MABA with some make up or lagniappe – from Hokie

    It was an ever so slightly chilly, 36°, upon our arrival, so after a very quick disclaimer, we started with a 300m mosey to get the blood a-flowin’ followed with SSH, grass grabbers and arm circles before lining up along the goal line for the explanation which was short n sweet …

    Do 5 burpees,
    lunge walk 5 yards,
    rinse & repeat to the other goal line…
    100 yards of lunges, 105 burpees

    Lunge back and circle the six so some got an extra 10 – 40 burpees

    Mosey to the rock pile with the instructions to get a rock heavy enough to challenge yourself and bench press for 1 minute.

    Next evolution, EMOM 5 burpees and then bench press your rock

    After two minutes we rotated counter clockwise one position so we could all see who had heavy and who had light rocks 😉

    15 minutes later we moseyed back to the flag for our final 5 burpees and some stretching.

    Thank you for allowing me to lead!

  • Pass the Rock – from Mahatma

    SSH
    Side lunge
    Scorpion Kicks
    Mnt Man Poopers
    Hand Release Merkins

    Grab a rock – on our way to the field 2×2 rinse and repeat pull ups

    Opening
    CrawDaddys
    Start in plank at the goal line –
    2 merkins 2 double under 2 ST
    crawl bear to the 5
    4 4 4
    crawl bear to the 10
    6…..
    8…..
    10…..
    Hold plank for 6

    12 x 2 x 7
    Always start with 2 burpee then 7 of the exercise alternate running with rock overhead or Kong to the next yard line starting at the goal line (Pax stayed together)
    At the 50 it will be a double down
    7 burpees x 24
    1 cross over push ups
    2 front raises
    3 squat press
    4 amr hammer
    5 curls
    6 7 BP x 24 Big Boy
    7 Tri cep ext
    8 v ups
    9 Carolina dry docks
    10 Rowa
    11 Man Makers

    After finishing pax lined up for some requested Mary x 20 ea
    X-Factor
    Susie Q
    LBC

    On our way back 2x2x2x2 rinse and repeat pull ups

    Head back to the flag

    COT

    At the time it was unknown why FastTax was a no show so YHC busted his balls a bit but ultimately passed the Rock City Site Q to him. Now knowing he’s in Nashville caring for his ill dad, prayers are being lifted up.

    Honor to lead – push yourself outside your comfort zone

    God Bless

  • Il Giro d’Italia – from Rudy

    YHC started taking Italian classes over the last year, with the hopes and expectations of being able to speak the language on a yet-to-be-scheduled trip to Italy. The year started strongly, leading to a promise made to El Guapo that YHC would lead a Q in Italian by the end of the year.

    Then YHC fell off the wagon. But the promise remained. And running out of time, YHC finally bit the bullet and decided to give this a whirl. So 9 PAX joined YHC for a journey through l’Italia on this gloomy, wet morning. Welcome Boucher from Macon, GA! And good to see Special K back in the gloom!

    E cinque e mezzo. C’é F3 e mi chiamo Rudy. No sono un formatore professionista. Sei responsibile della tua sicurezza. Spingerti, ma non farti del male. Andiamo in campo!

    Warmup:

    SSH, Abe Vigoda, Pietro Parker, Parker Pietro. Posizione di portenza, Mossa! In Cadenza, Esercizio! Uno, Due, Tre….

    At this point, PAX count dropped by 1 as Magcyver sprinted off to “take care of some business”

    The Thang: A tour of Italy

    The fortress cities of the Tuscan Region. Lets tear down the walls (of Jericho). 7 8-count-body builders, and a lap around half the field. Repeat 7 times.

    The northern Alps. At the front of the gym, lets climb the mountains (aka “stairs”). Bear crawl up, 5 merks. OK, that one is easy. Lets get harder… Repeat with Crawl bear, Crab walk, and Walk crab. Then repeat going back down the ladder.

    On to Pompeii (the Gazebo), in the shadows of Mount Vesuvius (the giant hill…). Here, the PAX recreated the everyday activities that the people of Pompeii were engaged in when the volcano erupted. We “put the dishes in the cabinet” (aka, Right Leg Stepups). Then put some dishes in the Left cabinet. Then we went and sat down for a bit in our Peoples recliner chair.

    On to the ruins of Roma (the Rock Pile). Grab a rock for some “Eternal City” exercise sets. Rows, Curls, Situps. In silence. Just start going. YHC has a count in his head, and announces when we have hit the end. But until then – just keep on lifting.

    Finally, a quick visit to the rocky mountainous island of Sicily (i.e., the railroad tracks) for some balance and walking as we stare into the lights of the approaching train.

    Then back to the flag for a COT (welcome back Macgyver!). Prayers of thanksgiving and for health of ill PAX. Thank you all for pushing me to meet a commitment. May 2022 bring me a better grasp of the Italian Language!

  • Traversing the Birth Canal – from Fast Tax

    Traversing the Birth Canal

    It was a crisp, cold morning at Rock City as eleven PAX joined YHC for his 50th birthday Q.
    After disclaimer, we headed near the rock pile for warmups.

    Warmups consisted of:
    o Abe Vigodas X 10 IC
    o Nancy Kerrigans X 10 IC
    o Hairy Rockettes X 10 IC
    o Grass Grabbers IC 10
    o SSH IC 10

    Sufficiently warmed, we headed to the rock pile, grabbed medium rocks (most of us) and headed to the playground in search of YHC’s lost youth.

    The first event, which I am very uncreatively calling “Rock the Court”, pushed the bounds of comprehension/attention for many of the PAX in attendance (resulting in 10 punitive burpees before we even began) and went like this:
    Divide into 4 teams with each team occupying on corner of the tennis courts enclosure and four rocks (one for each team) placed in the center. One PAX member from each team runs to the center and performs 10 reps of the first of five selected exercises (O/H Press, Curls, Tricep Lifts, Rows, and Burpees) while the rest of the PAX are in a low plank. When he returns to his corner and low-planks, the next teammate runs to the center and does 10 of the same exercise. This repeats until all PAX on the team has had a turn, then the cycle repeats for the next exercise, and so on, until all five are complete.

    Leaving the tennis courts behind, we circled up for a round of Rocks Up (IC 15) and then it was off to the playground for YHC to deny his 50 years by proving he was still a child, or at least could act like one.

    The Playground Scramble went something like this:
    PAX start in plank while first PAX soldier crawls up the spiraled tubular slide (aptly but alarmingly described by Bolt as climbing out of the birth canal), down the ramp, through the small tunnel, then arm over arm across the monkey bars, across the balance beam, arm over arm across the next two overhead bar things then side scramble across the rock wall, all while not touching the ground (because it’s hot lava of course). Anyone touching the ground had to do 20 burpees.
    Next PAX can start up the slide after the PAX ahead of him exits the slide at the top. PAX waiting at the beginning or the end had to do continuous BBS until Q called plank or some other exercise.

    As we prepared to bring the rocks back, for a little extra entertainment, YHC thought “what kid doesn’t like a game of Indian Run?” With rocks of course. After 1 ½ cycles, YHC lost interest…time to drop off rocks and mosey to the flag.

    With a few minutes to spare, and YHC still trying to cling to his youth, we circled around the tree for Duck-Duck-Burpee, which Willie apparently forgot how to play…

    At 6:15 we headed to COT for name-o-rama, announcements, intentions, and prayer, followed by Coffeteria at PJs with a special treat (homemade coffee cake) by Mrs. Fast Tax, now affectionately called “Audit.”

    Gratitude to Bogey, Bolt, Frac Sac, Hand Grenada, Jingle Vader, King Kong, Mahatma, Scantron, Tax Credit (my 2.0), Vagabond, and Willie for being part of my birthday Q and making it so enjoyable.

    Thanks for the fellowship!
    SYITG

  • 3 Wise Men – from Hokie

    3 Wisemen were seen preparing for His birth by traveling with “gifts” on their back. They traversed from Kenner towards the City and every 10 minutes stopped for 12 squats 18 lunges (December 18th) and 7 legs crossed merkins (as children have their fingers crossed these next 7 days waiting for gifts). Out 30 minutes and back 30 minutes.We closed praying for Steven Lindsey & his family as he prepares to enter through the Pearly Gates. We also prayed for those struggling in their marriages and prayed with gratitude for Colby & Camille. Thanks Mahatma & Vagabond for joining me.

  • The Wood – from Rev Sox

    After YHC’s run on Tuesday, he was exhausted. He comforted himself with the knowledge that tomorrow was Wednesday, and he could take the morning off, sleep in a few minutes, and do some reading.

    At 12:06pm on Tuesday, YHC received a text
    Hawg: Reminder that you have the Q at El Diablo tomorrow.
    YHC Response: Oh I forgot.
    Hawg: You are good? You can do it?
    YHC Response: None sent

    YHC awoke at 4:50am this morning with zero desire to run around Pontiff park and lift rocks. YHC wanted to sleep. YHC wanted to sleep and read. Thanks to Hawg and his stupid texts, he got out of bed, dressed for F3, walked out into the rain, and drove to Pontiff Park.
    YHC prayed a simple prayer on his drive to Pontiff. “Please Lord keep everyone home, so YHC doesn’t need to Q this morning. Encourage my brothers to rest or at least go to other AOs today.” In the Lord’s goodness, He did not give YHC the answer he sought. 7 Pax join YHC this morning.

    Following the most encouraging disclaimer in F3 NOLA history, “I don’t want to be here. I am not looking forward to this, and I made no plans for this workout. This is obviously not a professional workout. Don’t hurt yourself.” The Pax was off to mosey to the rock pile.

    The Warm-Up
    SSH – 27
    Imperial Walkers – 20
    Shoulder taps – 20
    Annies – 20
    Hillbillies – 20

    At this point Mahatma mentioned that he brought the wood, so YHC made an audible and decided to do something from different from his initial workout plans of nothing. Pax! Mosey to Mahatma’s truck.
    Sadly there were only six wood pieces in the back of Mahatma’s truck, so with eight Pax in total, YHC went the Dora route to make use of the wood.

    Dora on the Football Field
    Pair off for 100 rows, 200 curls, 300 chest press all with the wood. The partner runs forward to mid-field and backwards on the return trip to his partner while the partner knocks out the exercises.

    Route 66 but Not Really
    Drop the wood off at the flag, mosey to the rock pile, grab a rock, and go to the field lined with trees.
    10 trees are our markers. One shoulder press with rock at tree one. Two shoulder presses at tree two… Between the trees do one genuflect after the shoulder presses and then lunge walk to the next tree. Final set with 10 shoulder presses, so not a true Route 66.
    Return your rocks

    Mary
    Flutter kicks – 20
    Wife pleasers – 20
    Hello Dolly – 15
    Penguins – 15
    Mosey Back to the Flag

    The Closing
    Count-Off, Announcements, Intentions, Prayer in a Sweaty Ball of Man
    Thank you men for allowing YHC the privilege to lead. He didn’t want to be there, but as always, the men of F3 make YHC a better man, and he can only hope to do the same for all of you.
    And Rudy said my book is the 2nd best book he has ever read after the Bible.
    – Rev Sox

  • Time Killer with the River Stones – from Rudy

    10 PAX, including 1 FNG (welcome Slab!) and 1 Kotter (good to see you back, Spawning!), at the Mothership on a uncomfortably warm and humid December morning. YHC sporting Jesuit gear in hopes of inspiring any Jays in the crowd. But seems that the regular Jays crowd must be sleeping in to get ready for a big day of tailgating. But the PAX who were present were in for a good start to Championship Saturday.

    Mosey to the Great Lawn to get started. SHOOT. Didn’t take too long for YHC to get confused about the plan. Quick pivot – lets mosey over towards the Fountain for a quick warmup. SSH, IW, and some back stretches. Bat Wings – but much to FracSac’s dismay, YHC cut off before we got to the Dancing Night Clubs. We’ve got to get moving.

    Grab a Stone and head to the Great Lawn.

    The Thang: 12 step ladder. Starting at the path on one end, there are 11 trees down the lawn. Each round, we will add one more tree and exercise to the circuit. Carry the rock from tree to tree. Most exercises used the rock. But even if it didn’t, you were on the hook to haul it along.

    + At the sidewalk, start with 1 8-Count Body Builder (thanks Hawg, for the demonstration to our FNG. YHC forgot about that).
    + Add 2 Block Burpees at the first Tree.
    + Add 3 Thrusters at the next tree.
    + 4 Curl-Presses. YHC had a total brain fart on this. There was something planned for 4, but YHC could not remember. PAX held a plank for about a minute while YHC tried in vain to recall. War Eagle suggested Curl-Presses instead, so that works. These had been planned for 7, so this gave YHC a few more rounds to remember.
    + 5 Big Boy situps
    + 6 Squats
    + 7 Cross-over Merkins. THIS WAS WHAT SUPPOSED TO BE AT 4. YHC remembered just in the nick of time.
    + 8 American Hammers
    + 9 Rows (Hawg gracefully corrected PAX form. Many thanks)
    + 10 Lunges
    + 11 Flutter Kicks – HOLD THAT ROCK OVER YOUR HEAD
    + 12 Burpees at the far sidewalk.

    YHC had estimated that this was going to take about 30 minutes. So we had another exercise planned. But it was now 7:26. So lets hustle the rocks back to their resting place and get back to the (virtual) flag.

    Finish up with COT – named our FNG Slab (he runs Kitchen Depot on Airline). War Eagle then took us home.

    YHC noticed that these river stones offer a much different challenge than Rock City. They are smooth, lacking finger holds. It pushes different muscles to carry the rock for nearly an hour without those finger holds. My forearms were sore for the rest of the weekend. I will be using these again!

  • The timely demise of Judge Boudreaux T Hawg, III – from Mambi

    Q v Q. Reluctant Yankee proved just how reluctant he is by backing out (presumably out of fear, though the claim was an “illness” or “injury”). So who would step up to face the formidable champion, Judge Boudreaux T Hawg, III? Who dared to face the swift and sure hand of justice? When what to our wondering eyes should appear, but a raving lunatic in a Mini? Yes, Rudy-Clause emerged from the dense fog at the last minute carrying a bag of toys for all the PAX. And with that, let the games begin.

    Warm Up: Don “Mambi” King kicked off with a welcome and a warmup. SSH, IW, some arm circles, and such. But he quickly handed control to the reigning Q champion to start the main event. But the good Judge was obviously cowering in fear of the imposing form of his opponent, and tapped out. So Rudy-Clause had the opening.

    Thing 1: Naughty and Nice. 6 PAX were obviously naughty. Its clear that Triple Shift and his ilk are on track to have empty stockings this year. They were sent off to collect coupons. The Nice PAX (here’s looking at you, Hokie!) instead got to collect gifts from Santas bag. And what should they find? Bricks! Each Naughty PAX pair up with a Nice PAX. Naughty PAX: start thrusters. Nice PAX: how about some Floyd M’s with the bricks, then a 10 yard out-and-back bear crawl. Naughty PAX griping about the unfairness of it all. So swap with your partner. Time for one more round: Naughty start with Brick-pees, Nice get some Wonder Bras (push them bricks out, then push them up) with an out-and-back Crab Walk. Trade off again, but we ran out of time. Rudy-Clause suspects that the host was skewing time in favor of the reigning champ.

    Thing 2: The Good Judge explains that the only way to shut Rudy up is to enforce a “Mouths Closed” rule. So all PAX start following the judge on a run. If you mouth off, you have to drop and start burpeeing. Surprisingly, Rudy and all the PAX kept quiet, though Bolt and Hokie decided to stop for burpees rather than continuing to run. Frac, however, kept running despite talking in the back of the line. PAX followed the Judge to U-Turn and pick up the missing PAX, stopping for some burpees too. Then continue on to the Mountain for some Obnoxious Exercises (emphasizing what the Judge claims is the “Obnoxious banter” of his foe). Rudy pointed out that some times, exercises just need a little clarification. And with that: Crawl-Bear up the mountain. Think that was obnoxious? How about Walk Crab up the mountain (Gabby calls it quits and just decides to walk). Oh, but the judge wasn’t done yet. He devised an insidious child’s play game – “Somersault Up the Mountain”. RevSox seemed very confused by this one, and just started rolling around in the grass after smacking straight out of his lane into another PAX. Oh, TIMES UP.

    Thing 3: Rudy-Clause starts by observing the recent lessons of his beloved coach Kelly: what better way to care for the kids in ones care then by ABANDONING THEM IN THE HOUR OF NEED. The Santa Clause robes stripped bare, Rudy-Kelly stands before the PAX sporting his new LSU gear. Lets celebrate “Big Game Brian’s” history of success at ND with some over-and-back exercises with numbers called out from the BK era. 0 National Championships (stand there). 1 Freakish southern-faux accent (over and back). 3 losses in CFP (8 ct body builders). 5 losses to “power 5” teams (burpees). 8 losses to “academic peer” institutions (carolina wine mixers). 11 losses to Top 10 teams (BBSU). 21 vacated wins (SSH). Don King calls time before we get to cumulative 72 point losses in CFP. Mahatma greatly appreciated this new insight into his favorite coach!

    Thing 4: Took a little while for this one to come together for the good Judge. Rudy speculated that this set probably looked better on paper than in practice. But lets give it a shot. 3 PAX on the ground holding bricks. A 4th PAX lay across them. Then the PAX try to “bench press”. Everyone got a turn laying, everyone got plenty of turns pressing. One more “Max Out” with 2 PAX together pressing one standing PAX. Most of the PAX got to bench press Fast Tax, who weighs 88 pounds. But when Rudy Clause went down for the count, the good Judge doled out the worst punishment – putting his own 211 pounds on the blocks. A valiant effort by Pai Gow and Rudy but they barely moved that massive load. And with that – time’s up.

    The good Judge gave an impassioned closing argument, explaining just how much of a HIM his opponent was (many thanks!). Rudy Clause seemed surprised by the need to make a closing argument, and could only muster a “Merry Christmas – do you want presents or not?”

    COT: 12 PAX count off. Plenty of confusion on just how to state name, F3 name and age. You’d think this group of veterans would know this by now. Plenty of intentions, including specifically Minute Rice – for strength through a health challenge, and for embarking on a new life with his bride.

    Then the final tally was in – at first, it looked as if the Judge may have fooled enough jurors with his smoke screens of lies and fast talking. Would it be a hung jury? But no – in the end, the PAX voted for the restoration of Christmas this year and sent the Judge packing.

    Come join the Q v Q next month (next year) to see if The Shrimp Man (King Kong) answers the bell!